The Fifth Hour: Ball Ransom is Di, Di, Diamonds

Kubbooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler, that's me and Danny G. Radio. It is the sixth day of April. A good Saturday to you, Good Saturday to you, as we are continuing our in depth team coverage. No days off, Danny G. No days off, not from the pod, no no, no, as we are hanging out Danny Covino and Rich and I of course from the The Overnight Show during the week. And we thank you for finding the podcast. And all we need is five minutes, Danny, really, that's it, right.

Five minutes of your time, and we get credit for it as a download and a listen.

So if we did just a five minute podcast and everyone listened for those five minutes, we'd be good.

Right, Yeah, let's do that. We have two and a half minutes left to go.

Okay, so let's it just five minutes and then.

Yeah, let's just sing for two and a half minutes.

La la la la la la la la la la la good bye.

On second thought, I just remembered your singing abilities.

Hey, there's a few songs I know. I think I've done all of them right now, No one very good?

How about this one?

Turn out the last the parties over? Does that work for you?

That's a drop, that's about it. Oh no.

The other one I know is Die Die Diarrhea. And the good thing about that one is that Eddie loves that one and he wanted to play it. But Lorraine h as marcel I said she couldn't find it, So we didn't have that one. So yeah, maybe that got a raise from the system.

It did. I actually looked for that before and couldn't find it. So somebody did delete that. They that's a classic. I know. I have the Negro drop though you want to hear it?

Uh No, I think I'm I think I'm I'm good on that. But all look the same. Now here's a fun fact. I'll let you behind the microphone on how the Die Die diarrhea song came about. Well, that was the Ben Bishop when he put his pants for Tampa Bay. But that's kind of my that's an homage, Danny. I'm paying homage to a song when I was a kid, it hanah die Die Dieanu. It was a song we would sing. And so I just I use a creative license.

To Eddie argue with you and say that that wasn't what was going on with Bishop Eddie's delusion.

Okay, he's so far up the tookas of Gary Bettman that he does not understand that that's they should embrace that, just like when remember Lamar Jackson had the poopies fan off the field to go take a pooh.

Isn't that what happened to was it Paul Pierce?

Oh, yeah, that's that's that legend when he was in the wheel the wheelchair legendary. He had to go poo poo.

It was great to see pooh.

Oh so good that white home Celtic uniform would have been brown and.

White racist Uh cavaliers Jersey.

Oh that is uh, that is simply simply wonderful, is what that is. So we got a lot to get to on the Saturday Pod. I will start with this. A few emails this week Danny about something that happened on the Coveno and Rich show. Oh yeah, and we'll call this one topic cannon fodder.

So I woke up.

I was in a bit of a daze. A few emails were coming in from people.

Said, did you hear? Did you hear what.

Happened on the Coveno and Rich Show? And I'm like, well, no, I didn't. I didn't hear. And then so then you would send me. You sent me a link, so then I was able to hear the whole thing. But on Coveno and Rich, they and I'm actually not upset people. Some people thought, you know how the p ones are, Danny. They're like, they want to start a civil war. Oh yeah, between the Overnight Show and Coveno and Rich and I.

I mean, those guys have always been vocal about how they like you and they love your radio show. So they pointed that out first before Rich started complaining.

Before I said a mad dog in me. But no, and uh yeah, I'm fine.

Listen.

In fact, I'm honored, right, I'm honored that a take I had is good enough. The take is strong enough to still have legs later in the day.

Poor Ben Mallard. I liked the guy, in fact, one of the nicest dudes here at Fox Sports Radio. But I saw a clip on our Socials and it was his take on Petalonzo and the minute I saw him, like, oh, I'm gonna hate this take, and you know what, you could say that Ben Mallow and dummy fishing and caught me.

WHOA, that's that means that's a quality take, right? That takes got a good sholf life. A lot of the takes die on the vine. That takes don't survive the day, but that take.

Had a pulse. Yeah. If nobody's talking about you and then you're doing something wrong, yeah.

Yeah, And listen, people are entitled to be wrong. I of course am not, but other people can be wrong, and so I'm fine with it. I think it's it's great. And I remember years ago I had an epiphany. It was actually when I was filling in at WI I was doing. I was like a nighttime filling guy remotely for we on Boston, and there were some days and you know what this is, like, Daddy, some days you'd come in and you're like, man, yes, it's kind of like we're in famine right now. You know, It's like

Yeah, and let's say some of those local guys make things up sometimes out of necessity.

Yeah, you have to use we call that the straw man. You make a straw man, you make an argument, then fight against the argument which was totally made up in your head.

But one of.

The tricks that I learned is a lot of times what they would do is they would just do an entire show dedicated to ripping a take that like Skip Bayless or Steven Ahad, and it would be it would be weaponizing a take, and they would do their entire show based on that. Okay, so you know, I don't do that that often, but I do dabble in the fine art of repurposing a take.

Gottlieb actually has a feature on the network he does weekly called what does the Fox Say? So he actually made a segment out of this CNR. They don't do this often, but once in a while something will catch their attention and they asked me to grab the audio. Yeah, so it's all.

It's all good and not list I will react tongue in cheek and make references to Colin Cowherd or Dan Patrick or somebody like that, you know, usually about how much money they make, but that but that's fine. Whatever, it's all.

That's all good.

So, yeah, you don't need to send me any more emails. And I love the fact that you're listening to Covino and Rich and in our show and uh, and that you're you're ready to pounce at any moment and send me a message, So I appreciate that. I did want to also mention on the way back, we talked yesterday a little bit about my trip to Vegas and our new favorite hotel in Vegas and winning some money and yet again leaving town. I ended up i'd bet the

And there was like a.

Rain delay and then they ended up and ended up going over the total unreal craziness. So I gotta go back again. But on the way out of Sin City, leaving Vegas, it was kind of a rainy day.

That kind of it was.

It was a rainy day, like just a light rain, a light drizzle in Vegas on Saturday. Now I had told the wife, I said, you know, I don't know, we're going to be driving through the desert. It's to cool, wet kind of a day. We might end up getting some snow. And the wife's like, no, come on. So it's late March, not getting any snow. We're fine, nothing

To thirty degrees.

So I ask you, Danny, as a meteorologist, if there's a light rain and it's fifty three degrees, it's a light rain. If there's a light rain and it's thirty degrees, what happens to that light.

Rain, Danny? What? We hardly ever see it in California. Yeah, it was crazy.

It's like snowing. It wasn't a lot of snow and it only lasted for about fifteen minutes.

But it was crazy though. Yeah, it was ever say that.

I was sticking to the cactus on the side of the road and stuff, and it was pretty bizarre.

I was like, Wow, that's wild, man.

I was like, I want to stop and do a dopey YouTube video or Instagram whatever it.

Was, see exactly where you were. I've seen a lightning storm before on a road trip with my cousin, and that was creepy, you know. You're in the middle of nowhere basically, and the lightning was hitting the ground. I think it would freak me out more if I saw snow falling.

Yeah, you're not expecting to drive in snow. And then you're like, well, do I have the proper tires? Do I need to go to tire rack dot com to get some new tires. I don't think they'll the libor on that quick, you know. Yeah, it's that kind.

So you could say, you could say, Iowa, Sam says you need one more.

No comment, But you could say that that was a Murphy's loss situation, Danny driving back and then having the rain come down and in that the snow, and now that it wasn't all that, do it.

We have fifteen minutes left, He'll do it.

So we got to Baker, home of the Mad Greek with the nine dollars Shake the Mad Greek or whatever it is, and all lanes on the other side of the fifteen freeway that goes from La to Vegas all lanes completely closed. There's a massive accident. The backup it went, it seemed like it went like for eight or nine miles. Cars just backed up. People were out playing catch or were having a catch on the side of the road. People were standing on their cars, people were chatting with each other. It was wild.

He saw Kevin Costner and his dad throwing the ball around.

Oh yeah, it was like the Field of Dreams and all that. So it's like it was bad enough we went through the snow, but it could have been worse. It could have been worse, but that was for them. It wasn't Murphy's law situation.

You know, I'm calling this Murphy's Law because of our text messaging. While I was in Las Vegas, I made the executive decision that I was not going to gamble again on boxing because my very first bet, my very first legal bet in Los Wages, Nevada. It was last September when I was there for another boxing match with Covino and Rich and we broadcasted live from the radio row there inside MGM, and it was this great Canelo

Yeah, I guess we got some money here.

They each like put fifty bucks in and I think the payout was like seven hundred or something like that, and they split the winnings. So I'm like, all right, I'll do that, and of course we lost. Nobody made money. I actually, the second time I gambled in Vegas, I won some money on football, so that was great. But with boxing, I'm like, I'm going to stay away from it. I don't know enough about boxing. You know, Coveno is a box guy, so I was listening to what he

You're going pie?

Right, Yeah?

Pie?

I went pie. So I got a slice of New York pizza there, what they called New York pizza. The whole time I'm thinking though, like dang it. But I'm like, nah, stay away from it, Just stay away from it. We get to the fight Saturday evening. Officially it was a technical knockout, and it was Roly face down, crying almost because this pit bull kid just obliterated him. From the

I don't remember exactly what I said, but I think it was something, why, well, you're gonna end up winning, They're gonna win the bet or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you said they're gonna definitely win it's Murphy's law.

Yeah, yeah, well I used Murphy's I don't remember using Murphy's law, but yeah, yeah, And that happens. I can't tell you how many times that has happened over the years, where like I'm thinking, Okay, there's something I like, a game I like, and then I don't bet it because I'm like, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose. And then the games you don't bet you almost always win.

You almost always win. It's nuts and the question learned my lesson. Look, I could live without that fifty dollars, but can I live without the four hundred and fifty dollars?

No?

The question is this, though, next time you go to Vegas with Colvino and Rich, will you be back in or are the odds now against you? Since they won this time, they probably won't win the next time because you don't usually win back to back.

I'm gonna have to borrow Looney from you as my penny, and I'm gonna flip loony. Yeah, it's a coin flip.

It's always a maybe he'll bring the penny shirt that he wore on TV that.

Yeah, or maybe he'll wear his green shirt against a green.

Street, which he did multiple times. I had to bring bring multiple shirts because you didn't know. You couldn't tell whether there was enough green in it.

It would ruin the greens. Benny Benny in the Floating Head.

Tom Looney owns me I'm his bitch, clearly without a doubt. Oh god, unreal. Uh oh, you know I I did have a person email me this week, Danny that said they wanted me to go back in depth on the pink Box. Put in the box, the pink Box. So we've talked about this in the past. I'll just do it real quick. So this is a great southern California story, Danny, the donut shops.

Pink Box. I remember you explaining this. Yeah, we've we've done it.

We did a while ago, and uh I briefly mentioned it on the Overnight Show this week. And so, of course, as always happens, inevitably, somebody will email this podcast.

And say, hey, you kind of mentioned that, but you didn't really get a detail. I want to hear more about that, And rather.

Than me telling them to go back download a podcasts from two years ago, I'm just you know, I'm doing it right now. So the legend that in the the not the early days, because this was you know, Southern California has been around for a long time, but years and years ago. It's probably goes back around fifty years ago, maybe forty five years around fifty. So the donut shops, there were a large group of Cambodian refugees that all got into donut shops. This was their way to make

They saw the fat Asses and Copps here in La.

So and one of the donut shop owners in Southern California, he asked west Co Printing West Co Printing. He said, listen, you know, I'm a struggling business owner. I don't have a lot of money. Is there any way I can get a cheaper box, because they were using the regular white box for donuts, the standard white cardboard box. And they're like, anything, you can cut me a break. I can't.

Cut you a deal.

And so he he went in the bag and there were some leftover pink cardboard boxes in the corner of the warehouse and he's like, oh, yeah, i'll give you these for you know, I'll give you these for less, because you know, we have to throw these away. And he's like, well, why do you why do you have to throw them away? As as well? These were supposed to be red boxes, but the there was a printer error and they didn't put enough of the right mix of the color in there, so they came back pink.

And yeah, it's always you're always jealous, Like when I see somebody walking with a pink box to their car, you know, leaving a little plaza here in La Yeah, I'm always like, man, what kind of donuts do they pick in that box?

Well, and I know you're on a diet, and good for you, Danny. But in Vegas, the one of the donut shop chains there is pink Box, which they just named it, and it's really good. It's a good donut chain in Vegas, and I think it's in some other cities. But yeah, my new tradition since we drive to Vegas is in prim we normally stopped to go to the bathroom and then they have a Pink Box donut shop.

You got crickets.

So we had to go to a different donut shop to get my my fix, my apple fritter fix.

For the day.

So what else do we have? There's a few other things I wanted to get to on the Saturday.

Pod daydreaming about apple fritters. Now, thank you, I'm so bastard. They are.

They're my new favorite. I was always team cinnamon Roll, but now I've crossed over.

I'm definitely in the closet.

Let's get to the idiom of the week.

Idiom of the week, not idiot, idiom idiot.

Now let me point out, Danny that this is something that you might not even know what this term is, but it's an old colloquial baseball term.

And since yesterday.

Alf Alf had me go down a rabbit hole for the phrase of the week, which was a Texas leaguer. And if you forgot, we mentioned this guy, Ollie Pickering, who great player from the Texas League, and they named the Texas Leaguer is named after Olie.

Right after the show yesterday, I went down and got his baseball card. Yeah, I'm sure you.

So today on the Saturday Pod, we have a Baltimore chop.

Do you even know what that is?

It's a baseball term, Danny, Do you know what a Baltimore chop is? A Baltimore chop is a chopper that takes a high bounce right in front of home plate and allows the rudder to reach first. Basically goes so far up in the air. Just imagine hitting the ball so hard into the ground. It bounces up like it's a fly, but it hit the ground, so you still have to catch it and throw and all that. It's called the Baltimore chop. So, as you might imagine, it

That is a classic.

The Orioles. This was in the dead ball era, and nobody was scoring many runs in the dead ball era, and so the Orioles came up with this conniving plan. They had this brilliant plan, the Orioles. And what they did is they instructed the grounds crew. Of course I say grounds crew. There was probably one guy that was like a gardener that they had on the payroll. But they instructed the groundskeeper to pack the dirt in front of home plate so that the guys that were really

Front of home plate a bunch of cheaters.

That's like something the ass holes. I don't have to pause, it's a podcast and I can just say a holes sounds sounds. It's not gonna be careful because then next week on the radio say.

As holes in your head.

Lyn Loraino will freak out, But I don't think she'll freak out. The only one that used to freak out was Iowa Sam. I don't think she'll freak out.

I think she'll be She'll be okay, She'll just belly laugh and then hit the dump button.

Yeah after after. That's like my favorite show. When I was a kid, My favorite radio show this Jim Healy Show. And he would play all these sound bites and he learned actually I met a few people that worked with him, and and heally knew that as long as there was a bleep in there somewhere, people would just assume that the word was bleep. But he would often put the bleep after the word, like the word fuck, and he hear it fuck and then you hear the bleep.

And he got away with it, he.

Got away with it, he was able to finagle the system.

I've actually I've you told that story a couple of years ago, so as an ode to him, I've done that on this very podcast before. Fuck yeah, it's a way to go.

It's it's you know, it's comedy, comedy gold come on, why now so again Baltimore Chop the idiom over the week and this has been a good weekend, Danny, I'm gonna pat each other on the back here because we had on the Friday Pod we had that thing I found about the white elephant for.

The A's Yep, very racist from nineteen oh two.

So that's that was kind of cool. And then we also had Texas Leaguer and then today on the Saturday Pot, we've got the Baltimore.

Chop, so really good if you're a nerd dude. And show hey hit his first Dodger home run a few days back, so it was a beautiful week for baseball.

Yeah, beautiful, beautiful Yeah.

And then they pressured the girl who caught the ball.

And for a couple of hats.

Yeah, boys and girls, world, Boys and girls, if you ever catch a home run ball that you know was hit by a superstar and it's a meaningful baseball. Don't do anything with it until you can call one of those attorneys on a big billboard.

Yeah, there's got to be a lawsuit coming out of that, right, there's got to be a lawsuit. It says on the ticket that if a ball goes into the stands, you're allowed to keep the ball. Everyone knows the rules, right, that's the rule.

Am I wrong? Oh?

I'm wrong.

I don't know.

I know. We I ranted about that a little bit this week too. I'm a I'm a fan, fan rights advocate, Danny.

I stand with the fan. That's what I stand with. You're a people's person. What are the Dodgers something like that?

I mean, the way that story was written, it sounded like the Dodgers are like the mob running a casino in the in the nineteen forties. You know, it's like, what are you in Vegas?

Like?

What?

You know what they told her? They said, We're going to make you an offer that you cannot refuse.

I mean, would it come on, hey man.

You got a job baseball and two hats? Oh maybe to get season tickets out.

I would at least season tickets.

I would have demanded season seats, a weekend trip with show Hey to the Shoemash Casino, because you know he would have a fun time with you there.

Yeah, they don't have a sports book, so you'd have to go to.

And I would have I would have demanded credentials, media credentials for Ben Maller and Danny g Yeah. Well, I forget that.

I'm boycotting. Unless Marlon Man, Marlin's Man brings me out there, then maybe I'll show up. But other than that, I'm good.

And that ball, Danny.

You think about Otani and how crazy people are in Japan for Otani?

Oh, can you imagine that?

Is if you auction that baseball off, that's that's a that's a six figure I'd say two hundred thousand at least.

I heard in his native country within a couple of hours they replayed that home run on TV there thirty five times. They are obsessed with him, like we can't even describe how I mean, it would be like, I don't know, Bo Jackson. What's even more more than that? What's one cutting into broadcasts? Yes, that's what it reminds me of exactly.

You tell people, First of all, you tell people that there was a point everyone watched the nightly news. People are blown away by that. People watch the nightly news. Yeah, yeah, they They had Peter Jennings on ABC. They had Dan Rather and Tom Broka and those were the big big ankles anchors at the CBO.

Yeah, if you're if you're too young to remember this. We would be watching whatever it was on TV and they would interrupt the program and say Mark McGuire is stepping up to the plate right now. It was so cool.

But even at the nightly news, they'd say, here's the news in America. Home run Chase at Bush Stadium in Saint Louis, and it was it was wild, wild and crazy. All right, we'll get out on that. That's a great Saturday today, day of rest, the day of nothing, and I will take full advantage of the nothingness and Danny anything special going on? You want to promote.

Anything after that story? We just told it's weird. I'm craving steroids right now, the clear of the cream.

Which one would you like?

We're actually both. You have the weather permits. We were going to take baby CoA out for a walk. There's this, you'd like this. They just renovated a duck Pond that's a couple blocks away from where we live, and it's really Yeah, they did a nice job with it. It had been closed for months and months while the city renovated it. And there are a ton of ducks in there right now. Wow, that's my duck. You think these ducks are looking around, they're like, oh man, they did a good job on

No, they're like, this is a blank canvas and I can paint it with my shit everywhere. All right, having wonderful day. We got a fresh pod tomorrow as well. We'll have a big mail bag and answer your questions and all that. So enjoy the weekend, watch some baseball and the Final four today. In the Final four, be down to the final two by the end of today and we'll see what that matchup looks like. Anyway, have a great day and we'll catch you tomorrow.

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