The Fifth Hour: "Back Off the Delay" Mail Bag

Kabooms.

If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.

Wow.

The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the end.

Everywhere back at the podcast dojo, you have stumbled on another fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny G Radio taking you through the weekend on this podcast, and we have arrived at a very popular podcast, the mail Bag. But it's not just the mail Bag, Danny G. We have more content. As you hang out in Sin City, we have more content than just the mail Bag because we also will have pop goes. The culture exciting is that.

Yeah, you can't just have cocaine. You can't just have hookers. You have to have a bunch of hookers and cocaine. A bunch of hookers and cocaine.

That's the Yeah, that's the line right there. You got it. You gotta have it. That's a requirement, absolutely a requirement. And thanks to everyone that took time out on the mail bag. And it was a little slow. I posted on the fourth of July for the mail bag, which was risky because most people aren't on social media on the fourth July, but I thought, well, we'll see, we'll test it out. Total disaster. There were very few questions. And then Alf the Alien old Piner he called the

I already was bumping it in my car.

Yeah, we have a new scientifical jingle by request from you last weekend.

I goofed around after it and I was turning the reverb up on our voices up and down and just goofing with ohio al and he was like, it's delay, not reverb, and his new version of it is remix is even more awesome than the original. So Ohio, aw, we appreciate all the work you do.

Yes, we appreciate that. Although I guess we could play it. I don't know do we want to play we're not doing scientifical we could well, actually, you know what, I got a couple of scientifical stories if you want.

Yeah, yeah, I'll play the remix right here, and then you give us two stories science.

Okay, good job? Oh wow? Nice? As he said, it was too heavy on the delay effect, not reverb in the final mix. And so there you go.

This is this reverb.

Ohio, I wants to know, are you less dizzy? Now, Danny? Are you less? You are? All right? Well, here we go. These are scientifical stories. And how about this one. Harvard scientists say the UFO that crashed in the ocean in twenty fourteen appears to be artificial in origin. So they say, this is coming from Harvard. This is another science related story about UFOs. There's been a ton of these. There was a story this week that a Republican congress person

The other one and by the way, then called web an alien.

Oh well, Adam, Silver's an alien. So there's plenty of aliens there. Now here's a fun story. This is from the science world. According to the US Department of Agriculture, the scientists there, the average person eats up to how many flies, maggots and other bugs each year.

Ah, the fat boys are back. Oh man, I don't even I don't don't think I want to know the answer to this.

This is fascinating. And the only reason that we're doing this is because, Ohio, I'll put a song in. Otherwise I was I wasn't gonna get to this. But the average person eats up to one pound of flies and maggots.

I blame you for this, Ohio.

Well, I guess it's gonn We eat the maggots and then when we die, they eat us. So that's a wonderful thing. But they claim this is because fruits, vegetables, spices, and most processed foods are legally permitted by the FDA to contain very small levels of bug parts. But eat every day. Most people eat three meals a day. I eat one meal a day. But over the course of time, you're eating all those bugs. And they did an analysis. They said canned fruit juices can have a maggot for

Thanks, I'm for serving all that canned apple juice.

Yeah, I get that cranberry juice right now. Knock yourself out on that that is standing And so okay. They consumption of bugs. They say that in peanut butter they allow twenty whole insects for every one hundred pound bag of peanut butter. They say standard jar peanut butter often has between three hundred five hundred grams. But you do the math on that, the single jar peanut butter can have around five rodent hairs one hundred and fifty insect fragments and still be okay, get the green light.

Giving us way too much information?

Now, Wow, man. All right, I mean there's a no. I got some other bug stories here if you want. There was a guy there was an autopsy in for a guy in Florida who died. He died after winning a cockroach eating contest, and he was he choked to death on cockroaches.

What a way to go out?

I intermittent chest paint? Great? How'd you go out? Cockroaches? And I choked on cockroach? Oh? So that's science. We have. Pop goes the culture? Do we have that? Is that? Ready to go?

Fire it up right now? John? John?

All right, they're very very good here, Pop goes the Culture. So a lot of stories about Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg this week, including Elon Musk threatening to sue Mark Zuckerberg for ripping off Twitter with Threads, which is it's not quite a perfect doppelganger of Twitter, but it's pretty close, although they don't have the tweet deck. I actually message

I don't care.

I'm leaving. Goodbye attitude.

I thought you were going to say he put his phone number as his handle.

Oh no, that's not what you are. Yeah, that's not That's the all time gold standard for a Twitter story from a listener. But Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have been offered to have their celebrity fight. You see this last.

Week at the coliseum?

Yeah, the in Rome And how many does that hold? Do we know the seats on that?

I don't.

It's not really an active sports venue at this point. Right, well dead, they'd have an all time high. I actually I bring that up because the tourists who famously defaced the coliseum wrote a letter. This is one of the funniest letters I've ever seen. She remember the story. We talked about it. I think on the podcast. This guy went to the coliseum a tourist in Rome. This thing's almost two thousand years old, and he drew the initials

Eddie?

How do you think this guy was? I called you. I call you Eddie. I just called you, Eddie. Why do I call you Eddie?

You're I'm on threads. I signed up last Thursday.

I did too. I signed up myself.

I signed up and nice, I'll add you on there.

Yeah, it's fine, It's it's cool whatever. I'm into it. I go with the peoples. I learned. Eddie didn't learn this. But I believe you have to adapt. It's Darwinism. If you don't adapt, you die. Like Eddie, Eddie be the I'm on AOL. I'm not going on anything. I'm on MySpace. I'm not going to Facebook, you know, I mean, come on. But anyway, so.

You're saying this guy scratched in his love for his girlfriend.

Yeah, like her initials a love note on the wall of the coliseum.

Would what would be thirteen years old?

How about the opposite of that, how about thirty one years old. I'm thirty one years old.

I think it was Herald from match Me Abroad.

His name is Ivan dit Matrof is his name. And he wrote a letter of apology July fourth, which is just July fourth in Rome. It was addressed to the prosecutor's office because he's worried about's going to jail, the mayor of Rome and all the other big executives there. And a portion of the letter was published in the daily newspaper in Rome, the daily there. And this guy claimed, this is outstanding. You talk about you talk about bullshit. This guy claimed he had quote no idea. It was

Hey, you have all those thousands and thousands of visitors there with you because people want to see some brand new shit that was just built.

It was actually built in nineteen eighty seven. It just looks like it's old. It was built in ninety It's like the hotels in Vegas. You had to say, there's some of them make they look like they're old. So that is just wonderful, just absolutely wonderful. Well, here's a story. I think this was a movie on Popko's the culture,

Wow, do you know what is worse? Do you know the answer to this? Does cowshit smell worse than horseshit?

I think it does. And here's why I've heard that horseshit will just vanish. You don't necessarily have to pick up horseshit because it'll shrink and it'll pretty much go away. But when I've driven through your old stopping grounds kind of in central California there, and I've gone up through Fresno in that area, that is such a pungent smell in the toilet bowl of California where all the food is made.

You're not kidding. Because when my mom left San Jose to buy property in the Modesto area, she was all excited about how cheap the homes were, and me and my older brother. We were in high school. We're like, Mom, you know there's a reason why the whole are cheap, right, Dude, Just driving into that area, it's like a wall of cowshit smell knocks you on your ass. It is one of the worst smells I've ever experienced.

It's Sarah, But you drive on the Interstate five through California and you cannot leave your windows down. You will be overwhelmed, Danny with that smell.

And it just is Yeah, what is that that? Harris Ranch?

Yeah, I think that's I think that's it. Yeah.

Yeah, when you get to the middle of the drive to the Bay Area on the five freeway, you get to Harris Ranch, and boy, let me tell you know you're there.

So this guy is scammed. This guy got eight point seven million dollars from investors. He claimed he could turn cow manure into green energy, except he couldn't because in theory the methane could then be taken out of the manure then sold on the open market. Is green energy and all that. But this guy, I guess, was just a a scam artist. And he told investors they were going to receive tax incentives and sixty six percent of

How that sounds too good to be true? It's probably a cow patty.

Yeah, there's a few other I mean, we'll do one more. I got to get the mail back. But pop goes the culture from France, the president mccrn and Manuel mccron. There was a riot in France over the last couple of weeks. There was rioting. The Parisians are not happy, and the president of France is blaming the rioting on This is outstanding, Danny. This sounds like a throwback to

Well, before this podcast, I played a video game on my phone, So I think I need a glock right now.

You want to go out and destroy something? Is that what you like to do.

I'm either gonna tip a car over or I'm gonna shoot up an old abandoned house just for some target practice.

Yeah. Well, because you know I played Mario Brothers when I was a kid. This guy's in his forties, what are you doing? This guy Emmanuel Macron or whatever. The guy's in his mid forties. You're not an old dude. What do you do? You sound like an old man. What's wrong with you? Your middle aged man? Shame on you. Let's get to the mail bag. Here we go again. It's all ohio ou you give us thirty minutes, We'll give you ohio A three times.

It's bag.

First up on the maid like these are actual lessons, messages. You do not have to wait for me to post on social media. I usually post on our Facebook page. I maybe I'll post on threads as well now that I'm on there. But you can message to us and send us questions Ben Malers show on Facebook, or you can email right now or ten minutes from now, or two hours from now or three hours from now. Send a message to the Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and we may

I remember those books that we used to want as kids, whenever there was a book fair or what was that stupid day called where they would deliver the books.

Yeah, yeah, the magazine. It was a fundraiser. You got the books, and the books were like lastic.

I think it was like it was a schoolastic book fair and the rich kids had a whole box of delivered to their desk, and your mom gave you enough money to get two stupid books. And I would look at all the rich kids and be like, screw you little bastards.

Well remember too about those books. As I remember as a child, I was so excited by the name of the book, and they'd be like Baseball's Greatest Stars, you know, and you'd get it and it was like twelve pages.

Oh yeah, like it would be older players from way back, like it wasn't current.

Yeah yeah yeah, and you'd be like, what the hell, man?

I and the rich kids they got the book marks, the stickers, all the crap in that schoolastic little brochure. It was awesome. But back, let's see what was the original question.

Well, the question was about you know, the different producers I've worked with.

Yeah, oh yeah, what were these books? When we were kids? You got to choose your own path. So it was like, if you want the guy with a sword to run towards the shining light, go to page twelve. It was choose your own adventure. Your podcast last week was kind of like that. I tuned into your podcast, Ben, and I started on hour two. I went from hour two to hour four, and I was like, this is awesome. This is like Ben Mallard choose your own adventure audio style.

Yeah, it's just throwing stuff against the wall. And maybe maybe our two is better. I don't know, but outstanding, just outstanding. So that has been a lot of fun. And also the different board ops. Some boardops play drops, some don't play any drops. Some guys play drops. I like, some guys plays drops.

I hate.

It's an adventure now, Mike says, Ben, did you enjoy any New York pizza protests while you were in the Big Apple? I hope you threw pizza at the Mayor's So I did see a guy got arrested for yeah, for throwing pizza in Lower Manhattan.

There.

I ate a little bit of pizza from Joe's Pizza and some places over in Brooklyn, but I did not did not throw it. Pizza is a very valuable food. I feel like you should not be throwing pizza. That's a bad job by you if you throw pizza. Kevin in Kansas Rights, It says dear Ben and Danny G. You often talk about how much stuff you do and buy in California. I imagine that everyone in your state must make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year just

Manage.

Yeah, uh, Danny, would you like to give a masterclass on how expensive shit is in California and how you you survive?

You at your alarm clock for four forty five am, wake your ass up quickly. In fifteen minutes, brush your teeth, put on deoda, and then get dressed. Go to job number one. Then after job number one, you eat maybe a granola bar or some top ramen, depending on how much food budget you have for the month. Then you go to job number two. Then after job number two you come home quickly, take a shower and tell your wife, honey, I'll see you a little later. I'm going to job

And you know you're doing well. If you're ramen you're able to put some garlic powder on the ramen.

You know you've arrived.

And if you can afford salt and pepper, you are rich. You are an aristocrat. The thing that kills me about California is when I go travel around other states, and just by leaving California, pretty much every other state other than some other states, some other big wackadoodle states like New York or Hawaii. But the gas is like a dollar cheaper a gallon and it's the same frickin gas. It just kills me. It just drives me insane.

Now, the gas taxes have to be the number one complaint from US. At least help us out with gas.

Come on, man, there's no real rapid transit. You have to drive everywhere. And they're talking about making some of the roads where they charge you to drive at certain times on the highways in California, which is also just.

Take your toll roads and shove them.

Yes, shove them up your ass. And I have driven a few of these tall roads because my wife loves toll roads, and every time I've had to do that, but grudgingly, there's hardly anyone on them.

They have these beautiful roads that are wonderful and there's no cars on them because people are rather sitting traffic for four hours then pay five dollars to go on the on the road.

And I don't blame them.

I don't really ironic to how beautiful they're able to make those toll roads.

Oh, they're amazing. They're paved and they're they're the lines are perfect and all that picturesque. Next up Fred in Spring, Texas. Right, since says, hey guys, as a is both longtime residents of SoCal how fluent are either of you in the Spanish language? Really enjoy the show? Well, thank you for uh no bueno no Spanish show. I know Spanglish is that that's the term, right? I know broken words mixed together, just from I've learned by osmosis. I wish I had

But it's because of Oxnard, California. In my years there for a radio group where the general manager was trying to save money on voiceover. So he told me, you know what, I'm going to have you voice our AM standard station. So he gave me a page of liners and he said, and I also want you to voice Rodo Elafonte Scouchando Racist. So I took lessons from one of the from the morning drive guy that was on our Spanish station in order to make liners in the recording studio for them.

So I never had to do that. I worked at. My first commercial radio job was at the mighty six ninety, which is a border blaster station in Baja California, and I recall at midnight and six I think it was six am, midnight and six am, they'd play the Mexican National Anthem, the full version of the Mexican National Anthem, which goes on for about seven days. It's like a cricket match. It just keeps going and going and going.

All man, it was like a call for Andrea.

How dare you?

Alf?

Alf from the counter at McDonald's right, since, says, do you guys miss the good old days when we didn't have We didn't know trans fats from gluten free pastas, and our servers didn't give a shit if anyone in our party had a food allergy. On that note, did we even have food allergies back in the day. I missed my deep fat fried apple pies. I were served at the temperature of the sun. That's right, yes, And yet that same experience on the Hungryman dinner when you'd

Man, Mike cooking would impress a whole bunch of senior citizens exactly right.

What you don't have to be a great cook. If you're just serving at the Old Timers Home, you're in good shape there. What else we have? Air Force Andrew writes in he's a fan favorite legend. Air Force Andrew, we did an appearance in Baker's. So have you with that one?

Danny? Of course?

I was, yeah, that was a famous It was. I think the temperature that night was two hundred nineteen degrees in Bakersfield, and it was he was, I there.

They clocked my first pitch at ninety five miles per hour.

My pitch could get a major league hit her out. My my pitch, Yeah, okay, the ephis pitch, dominating pitch, he says. Air Force Andrew was at that and got ejected from the game. Was it the first inning? And then tried to sneak back in in the diskies on or off? He turned the hat backwards. Is that what he did? I think?

And he took his jersey off and he turned his hat backwards, so he was shirtless and he had a hat on backwards. It was a great disguise.

Yeah, And the I don't want to say security guard, but the person who was pretending to be a security guard for the team came over and said, is this guy with your group? I tried to sneak back into the game. I'm like, I don't know, he says. Andrews says, how much is left in the Mallard tank? Where do you see yourself retiring? I don't think I'm ever gonna you don't retire from these jobs. What happens in my theory has always been the broadcast world will retire you.

Yeah. What was it from Shawshank Redemption, Get busy living or get busy dying. Yeah, there's a lot of people. Unless you have a major hobby, say you are a golf enthusiast or something like that, then you have something to look forward to and you're traveling to different golf courses and things like that. But if you don't have something like that, then work is your thing. And I'm with you, Ben, I would rather die on the microphone.

Yeah, we had from Coast to Coast George Norion. He said that's the way he wants to go out. Yeah, the middle of Coast to coast talking about the you know, some kind of goblins and then all of a sudden.

Propped me up beside them.

And we have seen people that have died on the air. That guy famously in England died on the air. We talked about the podcast, oj writes in from Orlando, slash Hampton Roads, Virginia.

Careful how you say slash with Ojello.

He's in he says, Oh, He's in Orlando and Hampton Roads, Virginia says. Any plans for the next East Coast mallor meet and greet? Also, what was your go to place that you had to visit while you were in New York? So no plans. I was just in New York. There is a chance I might be going back to the East Coast for something I don't know yet. I'll probably know in the next couple of weeks. And if I do go back again to the East Coast, I will plan. I'll try to throw something together at the last minute.

But it's like here that they're close to making a decision on the one person that's going to replace Robertos. So it shouldn't be musical chairs for too much longer.

Yeah, hopefully not. Hopefully not. Next up, John and Omaha Wright since says, can you work one of your fifth hour podcasts with just callers doing it live on YouTube? That would be epic. Maybe you could show Danny g radio screening calls, ground shaking fun here, the behind the scenes stuff. So we've been asked this in the past.

Sounds like too much fun for a huge corporation.

Yeah, he might not want to see what we look like while we did the show.

Yeah, we'd have to clear it through their attorneys.

Yeah, we'll do a couple of quick ones to get out on this. Matthew Warrior Raider A's fan rights and he says, what's your favorite former A's fan He says, what's your go to? Delhi when you're in New York? I mentioned Kat's Delhi not as good as last time I was there. I gotta tell you, maybe my taste buds are the reason. And I went to Junior's Delhi. My friend Bob, who does radio in Kansas City's from New York, the New York New Jersey area. He said to go to Juniors, which is a deli in Brooklyn.

Here?

Dan? Two more podcasts today from Vegas for NBA con and then get a fly back home to Burbank Airport, and then get a little bit of rest before the Monday afternoon fun with Covino and Rich two to four pm on the West five to seven pm in New York City.

Be flying into Burbank, beautiful Burbank, which is great. Anytime you can fly out of Burbank and not fly at Lax is a win. You should treat Lax as Chernobyl is what you should do. You wouldn't want to walk through Chernobyl. You wouldn't want to walk through lax.

Lax is an STD stay away from it.

Yes, it is a nightmare. It is just horror. Red his eye. We'll get out having a wonderful day. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for downloading this actually listening to the whole thing. Holy crap, you heard the whole podcast. That's amazing. We'll catch you on the radio tonight and back next weekend on the podcast and thank You'll catch you then later.

Skater got a murder. I gotta go