The Fifth Hour: "A Few Steps Behind Dahmer" Mail Bag

they always say, please give us the mail. We need the mail, and I'm like, well, come on, what's wrong with that? But sometimes there's no mail. It happens. I'm just trying to hit as many sound bites as I can. Oh, look, Coop's over there, smoke weed, Yeah, right over you going the back over there. That's that's nice. What else we got here? Let's see really quick. I'm gonna add my own Coop drop. I wish I could pull off those suits. That's a good one. Classic. I think Eddie's playing Mario

Brothers over there. I think not anymore. I don't care. I'm leaving goodbye. You're saying, can you please? I know I can't. Okay. I think we're going to get some food, some fast food over there. Interesting, So these are actual layer or something. I have a toy. I gotta use the the I got my toy. I gotta I gotta play with it. How dare you, Danny? G Yeah, it half is. I I know it's it's to be scary right now. You know, everything will be okay. Calm down, Ralph,

everything will be okay. So to the third round, he ships, He sits blank, my blank, and blank. You. I want a mature guy now if you're new to the podcast, saying, hey, I would like to get some shine on the podcast. I would like to be podcast famous, and really, who doesn't want that in their life? I think of the bucket list things you want to accomplish before you check out of this Mortal Coil, to be mentioned on a podcast. Now, and not just any podcast, Danny, but this podcast. No, no, No,

don't play. This is a good podcast. It's impressive because that means that tens of people look up to you, at least ten. Yeah. I used to have eight people who are up to ten now, so we've got double digits that enjoy this show and even more now, Danny, because if you look off out in the horizon, there the Manu Ginobili market your childers aside. They're coming. You can hear them to make you a little noise there, there they are. They're they're attacking me, Daddy and your battleship. Yeah,

you're still coming. They won't stop, Daddy. You will kill Bill. That's great, all right. So you can send your message to us on Facebook, the Facebook page every Tuesday, sometimes later in the day, sometimes the day, just checking a couple of times during the day the show Facebook page Ben Mallors Show, and I will post up there a begging some kind of gift. I'll try to get you to get your attention and have you post a message on there. But if you don't want everyone else to

see your message, I get it. They're a private person. I'm a private person toe. So you can send it care of Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's r E A L F I F th h h oh. You are ill spell the whole thing at gmail dot com. Put mail on the headline and we will use your message, time permitting. In a future episode of the Fifth Hour mail bag with myself, Ben and Danny. And before we get started here, we have a rule on this, and so let's strike up the band. We go to our

man Ohio owl. First message comes from our friend Tammy in Montana. She says, Ben and Danny, g I have to tell you that I had a Tommy's Chili dog in Montana? Is that even possible? That just continues. A friend of mine ordered dogs and chili from Tommy's for a party. The chili dog was amazing. Do they have tomm They don't have Tommy's in Montana? Do they? I'll look it up, all right, let's just some due diligence

on that, some fact checking. Uh. Tammy says, I always have some stupid question about driving, about a driving law. To ask the cop when I get pulled over makes the cops feel helpful to answer the question, and it works. So she's talking about getting out of a ticket. Well, it also helps, if let's be honest here, you know, helps if you're a woman a little bit right on the easy on the eyes. Am I wrong in saying that, Danny? Is that? Is that a stereotype sexist? Open up the

blouse a little bit. The show off. Where did you hear those stories? I might have watched that on a movie back in the day. I don't what kind of a movie. It was. Maybe an adult movie. I don't know. But there is that. And and unlike Supreme Court justices, I know what a woman is. I don't need to have to ask. I don't have to ask your biologist, Danny. I've I've mastered that. Tammy continues. She says, I'm disturbed by a holier than now Helen's email, Helen says she

loves Ben. Tammy writes, but she wants Ben to take over the morning time slot. I've heard prostitutes sleep in the morning, so Helen wouldn't be able to listen to Ben. She doesn't make sense. Wow, Helen's joke about rent was very old and lame. Tammy rides, I don't pay rent because I own my home, whereas Helen admitted that they live in a camper, so if she wasn't so ugly, she could earn more money at night and buy a house. Signed Tammy in Montana. Tammy, she's got the flamethrowers out.

She's going for it. She is ready to go. Yeah, absolutely on that man. Your battle stations all right. On Tommy's website they only show California and Nevada. So is it possible a that she had some rip off Tommy's. Be somebody flew into Montana with Tommy's, which I can't imagine would have tasted all that good, daddy, if it's been in a plane for four hours or whatever it is to fly to Montana. These are all great questions. We'll have to wait till next week's mail bag to

get the answer. So Tammy, let us know, because we are skeptical that you could get a Tommy's Chili dog in Montana. Now there might have been a place called Tommy's in Montana, but not the Tommies that we know. Yeah, they spelled it t O M M I apostrophe s. Yeah, something weird, some knockoff Tommy's. So the next mail we go back to the the mail bags, right and Helen and Stu from palmetto Bay, Florida. Right in there's Ben and Danny ge Happy Sunday, Sunday Sunday, Screw the Oscars.

The email begins, Screw the Grammys. Let us first catch up with the Bennies. Ben stew and I are the most powerful couple in the Mallard militia. To protect your brand. We get people fired, now, we get people elected. Given what the Fifth Hour mailbag serves as the de facto public town Square, Congratulations to Danny g Radio winner winner and Brian too Short Finley shots fired, so more congratulations

for you. In sports, the email continues, looks like Major League Baseball will continue to check pictures for sticky stuff. Sounds like a perfect lateral career move for that Renter bitch Tammy in Fontana. Uh. And the message continues. As for food, We've been fortunate to eat at some very some of the best steakhouses in America. Counter in Benjamin on Team Well Done, Way to go, Helen and Stow. I did a rant on the show this week. I

mentioned I like my steak butterfly cut well done. I was attacked by Coop and Eddie and Roberto as a heathen and that I should be put up on some kind of court martial for that. So I'm not going to cook on my knee. I leaned closer to you on this. You and I don't see eye to eye with Ranch, Nope, But if I knew the kitchen was gonna undercook it a little bit. I would tell him well done, because I would like it done. Yeah, exactly, You're one step higher than me because I want to

see just a little bit of pink. But the people that have red and blood and all that, they might as well be cannibals. Damn right, you're You're just a few steps behind Jeffrey Dahmer. That's how Dahmer started. He started with bloody meat, and then he wanted a human meat. And that's the next thing I like to wrestle with. Uh So, the email continues. For us, Helen and stew Right, no matter what could of beef we order, you just add clarified butter, kosher salt, and pepper and we're happy. Yeah,

I'm right there with you. I'm right there with you. They say, we've never had a chef complained that we wanted our meat cooked beyond the standard medium range, even while dining in the chef's kitchen. It's probably because Helen Stewart high rollers are you. If you're a high roller, you go into a stake place, they're not going to give you a hard time. If you're Joe Schmo like me, the overnight guy, the guy who was who was this asshole? Uh?

What the hell's he want? And I'm sure this past week on your live show you talked about the onety one dollar burger game we did and there well or the twenty five thousand dollar burger at Braves Games. If you want the real ring. Wow, what at least there's a cage free egg on there? Very important. Yes, I've always said when I spent a hundred and fifty one dollar on a burger that I can make it the house for five bucks, that I it's very important to

get the cage free egg. Okay. Uh, the message continues, speaking of meat closure and outstanding social media video content. Time for you to take that Tomahawks steak you've had in your freezer for years and now unsafe to eat, Put it in a steel drum in your backyard at gasoline and ignite flames at night should be visible west

of the four oh five. Message sent Wow, that's pretty just a good idea viral YouTube video, and the message says in closing bend outstanding Laker monologue content and energy. This week, You've heard the rumors started and questioned to ask by Stu First, what are the Mallards sports book odds that the Googleheim Baseball Management, owners of the Dodgers, will purchase the Los Angeles US Lakers as well. Stu.

That is a nightmare that I have that the Lakers will actually get somebody who knows what they're doing as an owner and not Genie Buss and then then it's over. But that's the family business. So that's that's that's Genie Buss's identity as the Lakers owner, So I'd be surprised if she sells it. And as a closet Lakers fan, you would love that drama that's on HBO right now. No, no, no, I'm looking forward to The Clipper Show. It's gonna be on effects. Yeah, it's gonna have huge ratings, just like

their games and the massive ratings. I think you were with me, Danny. We should be part of that. The Ben Mather Show should be part of that Donald Sterring documentary. Were you not there the night that Donald Sterling we are ent sure called in to our show. It's wild I swear that was him. Oh my god. It was right in the middle all of the hullabalue where they were about to take the Clippers away from him, and this guy called I think he said he was in

Big Bear or something like that. Yeah, he said he was a big Bear Lake. It sounded like he had been tipping it back a little bit. Yeah yeah. So this old guy who sounds just like Donald Sterling calls up to defend Donald Sterling and take shots at the l a times. For the rest of the show, you kept saying it was great to have Donald Sterling on earlier defending Donald Sterling. Yes, yes, yes, And that guy never called again after that. That was the only time

he ever called. That was it that night? Wild wild wild? Right? Matt in, Matt is next, No, I gotta play this sounded I apologize for not not doing this. It's a bad job by me. That's right. The mail is here, all right. So Matt in Dallas fort Worth rights and he says, man, I have to go horseback riding this weekend with the wife for her birthday. But I've ever been what advice do you have for me? Well, Matt, I was fat and they don't let fat people on horses, so I won't have any advice. I was when I

was little. I was on a horse when I was when I was a kid, and I think the horse talked back to me, shut the funk up. Okay, shut the funk up. That's what the horse said to me. So, Danny, do you have any experience you lived in Burbank. They have horse trails in Burbank for my time in Burbank when I worked there, So did you ever spend time on a horse? They do, But those are next to the Walt Disney studios there the where the riders and cartoonists work, where the big protests have been going on,

you know. I mean, I was downtown for twelve years and this shouldn't surprise you because I heard an owl live in person for the first time this past week. Never been on a horse before. Okay, so we have failed you, man, You've failed you. We have failed your wife. And chances are this is for the Sunday mail back, so you probably are been on the horse by now. By the time you hear this, you've already been on

the horse. So really we couldn't add anything to that anyway, all right, I would just advise you not to piss off the horse, not to be to mean to the horse, not to fart in the horse's face, none of that, and then you're in good shape. Yeah, from what I've seen on shows like three, which is a great show. By the way, no sudden movements, no sudden movements. And if the horse runs off in the distance, let it go right, just let it. Let them. Jennifer is next

up from Richmond of Virginia. Come back, it's time from now, I'll call. I'll be visiting Virginia for the first time ever in early May. I I'll be flying in there and I have to drive down to North Carolina from there, so I'll wave at your Jennifer, She says, high bed and Danny ge. My question is inspired by all your recent baking and cooking. Do you have a favorite kitchen gadget or gizmo? Uh? Nothing in particular as far as the baking stuff. I did get a well, I forget

what's it called. You put the flower in it and you turn the wheel and it it Uh, I forget what the name of it is. But oh the l star. No, but I wanted to be in on the conversation exactly. I understand. I think President Trump has something your friend Trump, Yeah, that's what he has to say. But no, I just love watching YouTube videos and then making my own version of that and I got pretty lucky in a sad way. My mom was a prolific Banker's one of the reasons

I do. I try to honor my mom's legacy. My mom was amazing in the kitchen. Of course, everyone thinks their mom is amazing in the kitchen, but my mom was great, and she you know, there's a lot of health problems, but she did a lot baking, and so she was able to buy like all these gadgets and gizmos, and they all sat here for a long time, you know, in my dad's house. And then when he passed away in early uh, you know, I inherited a lot of stuff.

So it's all fine. The good thing about baking stuff is a lot of that stuff will last forever well, kind of like the cast iron, that kind of stuff. So but I love it all. It's it's great. I made some last weekend. I made eminem cookies and so those came out pretty good. And the cool thing I've learned it's all about presentation, Danny. It's all about the present day. So I what I do is I put, I make the doll and all that, and then right before I'm about to put the cookies, the cookie doll

in the oven to bake. I strategically placed the M and Amazon there so they look just like when you go to the store. Yeah, so they looked just like that. It's something that anyone with half a brain would do, but for me, it's like a big accomplishment. Do you watch the cooking competition shows that are on TV? No, I don't really do that. My wife likes those a lot.

I haven't really gotten to that. I did. I did see an interview with the guy that was on one of those cooking shows, and they said how unrealistic it is because you know, they used like one dish, will throw it away using No, that it's not like real life cooking where you have to wash all the dishes. Somebody else washes the dishes for those people. Yeah, I would recommend beat Bobby Flay. That's a good one, all right. Pierre in Springfield, mass rights In says which superpower would

you choose? The ability to fly or to be invisible whenever you want it? I think we've gotten a version of this one before. Flying would be great. I'd be worried about crashing. Invisibility. I feel like I've had that, so I'd go back to that because I feel like many points in my life I wish I was invisible at some time, as I think I was invisible and in the radio, Danny, we are invisible. All you can

hear is our voice, but you can't see us. Yeah, and it wasn't an option there, but I would go with the superman and his superhuman strength because you know, just daily tasks like helping somebody with folding chairs. You have got to be kidding me something like that. Or if you have a job that's heavy labor, think about it, Ben, you could just use a fingertip and boom, task is done. Yeah, that that'd be nice. Uh. He also says Pierre in Springfield,

mass a friend of Alfie aliental Piner. He says, have you made any progress in cutting a new ad for the Fifth Hour podcast? It appears that your original Trusty Sidekick promo has replaced the weight loss spot on the weekday pods. Yeah. So I keep getting messages about this, Danny, Is there anything we can do? Can we email somebody already done? It is done. After those shows where we joked about it and we had multiple listeners asked about it, I sent an email to our boss and I got

a reply three weeks later. Because anything titled Ben Miller it's replied to immediately highest urgency. It's just just just ahead of Colin Cowhard, very similar. So three weeks later he sent me a reply that said it's already been done. I actually noticed that when I was listening to one of the podcasts I had editing cut former co host name out so that Ben didn't have to redo it.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say, because I don't remember voicing over, I wouldn't mind voicing something over if you want, we can make it all nice. Well, no, I'd like to give you some some shine, give you a little love and all that. I guess we could turn in a new one. Yeah, yeah, if you want. How long does it have to be? Do we know how long? I will take a look at that. I believe it's like around forty seconds. That's nothing for professionals. Come on, I didn't even get to my point for about ten

minutes anyway, so I could do forty seconds, no problem. Uh. He also says, Pierre, when are you gonna get Mikey Adams on the Friday Pod? Well, he's on my list. I have to coordinate with Mikey. Mike is a famous radio guy in Boston who also is part of one of the great TV bloopers on YouTube. He hosted a sports show at night on a regional sports network in Boston. And you know those those giant old school TV cameras that were robotic, Yeah, like they're using the eighties and

the nineties. So one of these like started moving unexpectedly towards Mikey and like it was a hilarious because he gets attacked by the camera and it was really funny. Mikey's got some amazing stories. Mikey Adams is the guy. When I went to w e I and the first time I ever went to E I, I was on his show as a guest in studio and he had a spread of Italian food in the studio. And Mikey's producer told me that every night he had a different

restaurant cater the show. This guy, Yeah, and for free of course, ghihim a little pop so and uh that was great. But Mikey has tattoos on his ass of the Orlando Magic and the New York Yankees. Now he's not an Orlando Magic fan or a Yankee fan, but he lost bets, and part of the bet was he had to get the logo of those other teams on his took us and and just to prove that he was not phony, he pulled his pants down and showed me his bear took us to show me the logos.

So he has the old Orlando Magic logo and the the classic Yankee logo here alright, Next up we do we go to a Mr. Luciano from Los Angeles. He says, question for Ben and Danny, g I suppose you both like baseball, And with that said, which opposing stadium would you like to go and watch your favorite team play? Keep up the great work? Anywhere you'd like to go, Danny that you haven't been, Yeah, I would like to go to Wrigley Yeah, and obviously would also like to

see Boston. Those are two. Yeah. I've been to Yankee Stadium. I went one time to the old Yankee Stadium when I was in New York for a radio conference, and the atmosphere there was amazing. Went two strikes. The craft starts getting into you don't get a lot of here in Seattle. Man, I'd like to see a Mariner that ballparks. I've been to Seattle. That's cool. I haven't been to a Yankee or Mets game in New York since the

old stadiums I used to go. I want a lot to the old Yankee Stadium, old Shase Stadium, and that's like twenty years ago. I think they haven't had those stadiums have been around a while now. The Yankees and Mets stadiums have been there. Always want to go to Boston. I always make a point to go to Finway. I've been to Pittsburgh, but not in a game. I walked through. They have a park in the outfield right near the water there the the confluence of the two to make

the Ohio River. The Mahanga Hila butchered that and the Allegheny right, isn't that it? And they formed the Ohio? Thank you? That's the visual to me. The ones I've been to. I hate to say this because enemy territory, but the ballpark in San Francisco, I was just gonna say, McCovey Cove is something else to see in person. And then the food there is delicious. Yeah, and their fans are our woes, So okay. If you know I'm serious as a Dodgers fan, you know, I didn't have anybody

talking any kind of crap to me. It was real comfortable, like it was my park. Well, part of the problem with that is the some other dog your fans did something so bad that the Giant fans are scared to death when they see a Dodger logo. But but no, I've I've had fun times. I haven't been too many games in San Francisco. But it's tough part of San Francisco.

That's not a good area where that ballpark is. It's all you don't want to park your car there because when you come back, they'll be glass all over the street and then you're going through your You're lucky if your car is there when you get back with just a broken window. But San Francisco, my favorite ball finway is awesome Visually. It's not designed for tall people like me, fat people. It's designed for people that were there in the early nineteen hundreds when it was made. I've been

to Wrigley. I haven't been there since they renovated. I heard it's a lot different. I'm gonna be in Chicago also my global tour, so when I'm in Chicago, I'll have to stop by Wrigley. I don't know that. I think the Cubs are playing the White Sox. Actually, when I'm gonna be there, is Comiskey still there? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm not going to the South side of Chicago. I know, I know, I've I've watched the news enough to Boy, you don't want to make a wrong turn on the

south side of Chicago. You don't want to do that. No, no, no, don't go to a subway late at night. Yeah, you want to stay away from that. So Boston, Pittsburgh, San Francisco. Yeah, I've Dodger Stadium too, it's on there. I thought you were gonna say that the Marlins Ballpark in Miami, and I meant subway the sandwich place, not the actual subway. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a new like state of the art that's comparable to like so far or Allegiance. What's the newest

baseball stadium in America? Well, the one in Texas, the One Man Yeah, that's right, years ago. But it looks weird. It looks like an outdoor barbecue from from far away, it is a strange shape. Yeah, I've never been a Canon Yards that's been around a long time. The oral is blow cam in yards is because of how big of a bo Jackson fan I was as a kid. I guess seeing the Royals play in person would be great. Yeah, in there, that's nice. They have a really cool complex

in Kansas City. They have Arrowhead Stadium on one side, there's a big giant parking lot, and then the Royals play across the way there. Royals having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallick and that I've never been there because they don't let media go. I've been banned, man, I've been canceled by the angels in jail and a radio guy survive anymore? What's wrong with you people? That's not very heavenly from the angels? Yeah, unbelievable, man, that

is insane. All right, let's see who is next year. Hold on a second. Got to type this in because you know, something happened with my sound effect machine and a type of code in God forbid, I don't play the proper sound bite. Then it goes to hell. It's back. J In Duluth writes in on the mail bag and he says, hey, man, this is a sporting question. He says, instead of an NFL and the NFL having a Pro

Bowl that nobody watches. How about the two teams with the worst record play for the first pick in the draft. At least the players would have something to play for and maybe try to tackle the guy with the ball. Thank you for having the greatest show on the radio. Listen every day all four hours. God love you, God bless you. J Thank you for that. Mazeltov. Uh So this has been bandied about in the past. I've heard something like this. I asked you about this in February.

That's where I heard it from. What would the Union ever sign off on something like? Probably not, but it's great for us to dream about. Yeah, it would be great fourth quarter, especially if there's some hotshot quarterback the next manning that's there to annoy me the exactly if it was a clear number one selection, the prize of the d raft and everybody was salivating and tanking, Yeah,

that would be wonderful. Well, then it would create that awkward situation where if you're the quarterback of the team and you try to win the game, your the move to get your replacement, but you probably know you're gonna be replaced anyways, So aren't you trying to put good tape together to get another job. That's one way to to look at it. And oh man, something needs to change with that game though. Yeah, all right, what is next year? Or who is next? I should be saying

I got mail? Yea, I got mail, yea. Alright, Kevin in Kansas writes, and he says, you're ben in, Danny, g This weekend in our high school is our high school prom is our high school prom. He says. I'm a teacher slash sponsors, so that means help with decorating and watching over the dance. Any prom memories or stories you'd like to share, Thanks, guys, that's Kevin and kids. Well, I never went to my problem, so I haven't known stories.

The prom always reminded me of what a loser I was with women and how women found me repulsive when I was in school. So the idea of the prom was just salt in an open wound, and so all the cool kids. It was a place where the cool kids to go, the popular kids to go, and guys like me and not so much. I was over there and I was at my own horn. I was I was doing that on the side there. What about you, Danny? You a prom guy? We've talked about this before. I

feel like it's come up on the show. Well, first of all, shouts out to our teacher there. All teachers should get raises across the board across the country, and so should overnight radio people. Yeah, I agree with that too. H As far as the problem, I had a date. I had a girl that wanted to go with me. My mom fought it tooth and nail. She did not let me or my older brother go to the prom because of what she called drugs and fornication. And my mom still is very religious, so she kept us away

from girls as long as she could. And she said, as soon as you're not under my roof, do you do? What you do is but we're condom please, but you're gonna date, but not under my roof. And so I didn't have my first official girlfriend the day after I left my mom's house. So there were girls that I could talk to and get away with hanging out with that school, but I couldn't bring him to my house ever, and I couldn't talk to my mom about it. It all had to be in secrecy, and the moment that

you had your freedom all of a sudden, Dandy g radio. Hello, ladies, it's dandy g You know, I wish I could. I wish I could brag about that and say that and if I wanted to be a whore at the time, I guess I could have been, but I was so scared of aids and and being shot down by a bolt of lightning out of God's hand. The first time I ever had sex, I thought I was gonna die afterwards. Yeah, well, it's funny because my my mom also it was not obviously different religion, but it was. I felt guilty. I

felt the Jewish guilt. I was like, what have I done here? I'm a monster? You know. I was like, it was always easier having makeout sessions with the first girlfriend and doing fun stuff and all that, but when it came to the actual you know, you know, I felt that I felt guilty afterwards. I felt like my mom had a hidden you know, spy somewhere and she was gonna get back to her. Yeah. I was the

same way. I never and I had girlfriends, said, you know, not many, but I never took any home until the one I married, because I was convinced it was gonna be a My mom would not approve of that so like it was a big deal anyway. No trauma there, thanks parents. Yes, not not in the least. Chris and Marre Coca to Iowa writes, and he is, if you could travel to a distant populated planet and could only tell the inhabitants one thing about the people on Earth,

what would it be? Also, go Rate is, oh yeah, rate in nation checking in. So what would you tell somebody? Well, would you be able to communicate with them? That would That would obviously the first thing I just assume you could. I would say humans are complicated. Humans are complicated. That's that's the word that would sum up human beings. I did see this week, NASA. Did you see this the other day? NASA. I was gonna get through this on the show, and I was gonna honor art Bell. I

never got to it. NASA says they're going to broadcast messages out into deep space to aliens, hoping to make contact. They want to make first contact. Also read an article about how they want to shoot images of naked humans out into space. Really yeah, it sounds like something that the porno people would do. I don't know what that's all about. I did not see that. Yes, yeah, it's not like giving blood. Do you get money? Do you

get a cookie? Now? Are these gonna be real normal looking humans like, you know, kind of a fuggy woman and a big morning show in l A that I heard talking about this story. That's what they were debating. Should it be average looking humans or should it be the cannon barbies of our Hollywood? No? No, because you can't send a beautiful, jaw dropping woman's photo out in space because they're gonna get here. They're gonna be like, wait a minute, that's false advertising. These people blow up

the planet. That's like the girls with the high camera angles. Oh yeah, yeah, you wanna. I want to start a diet, Danny. We used to talk about and when you're doing TINDERRONI tips you want to start a diet for women and men? Here's what? Did you extend your arm all the way up like this. You'll lose twenty pounds immediately, just like that. Pounds of fat will vanish. The camera just needs to be looking down at the canyon between the two booms. Yes,

and everything else looks slim after that. Yeah, I get the attention, absolutely correct on that. What would you say, Danny, if you could talk to a far away planet. You know, it's funny that this question comes up this week because an administrator that I work with, it was like Wednesday or Thursday this past week. He was talking to me

out on the campus. He was talking about something going on with his parents old house, and he had an aunt that was sick and a company was trying to take advantage of his aunt because she's in poor health. And he made a deep statement after that. He was like, you know what, Danny, it's like what my dad always said, people are ship Unfortunately what I would say, people are people. Yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of too faced people out there. It does, it does happen, all right.

That's why a lot of us love animals as much as we do. Yeah, I bet animals are probably two faced. Two. My dog Bell is probably just such a loser, you know. But I can't hear a talk, so I don't know that. You know, we just don't know their inner thoughts. But they're talking to us in their mind exactly. That's what I'm saying. Anyway. It is an interesting that's a good question by Chris. I like, it's unique. We haven't gotten that one before, so good job by you come back paying.

It's sun from now call Mark in Ottawa. Right, since it's been I cringe every time I hear your fifth hour commercial on the podcast. Here we go again referring to that parasitic nuisance as your trusty sidekick. When do you plan on rerecording? We've already been through that so we it's been taking care of the NYG. Yes. Yeah, temporary band aid on it. Okay, we we We're gonna write up new copy and then we'll voice it and we'll be good. Yeah. Wrong, all right, let's see. Next

is on the mail bag. Blind Scott in Boston wants to know our thoughts on freed ol A announcing this week that America's favorite baseball snack, Cracker Jack's, we'll now have Cracker Jill this. I mentioned this on the show. Yeah, yeah, they they announced they've gone woke. Danny, what's your guy quite? Travis say, go woke, go broke. I think that the coming,

said Cracker Jill. We'll honor and support women's impact we're in sports and will be packaged in special edition bags that will be available at the start of the baseball season. So this weekend in ballparks across the United States. So I got I got a couple of thoughts on this. A the marketing p bull clearly believe at Freedola that they're gonna get a lot of woke points out of this, right, and they're gonna get a lot of way to go, good job by you. And that's outstanding. Uh be it's

equal parts pandering and virtue signaling disguised as activism. Is there a group of women that felt they were underrepresentative by in the popcorn covered in caramel category? And that's what I was gonna say, Ben, Any intelligent woman listening to us right now would laugh at that and know that it was just pandering. The only way that could be better is if they had a photo of the cast of the female Ghostbusters on the front of that one of the great the blockles in Hollywood history, the

all female Ghostbusters. But this cracker Jack thing, do you think there's any little girl that goes to a ball game and says, oh, man, I wish I could grow up and be like cracker Jack, But it's guy. And and you think any little boy grows up a little kid goes to a game, little boys like, oh maybe someday I'll be just like the thing on the cracker Jack box. Maybe that'll happen. I mean, come on, uh. And the other thing. I looked this up a while ago. For some reason, I I fell in a rabbit hole

and I ended up on the cracker Jack's website. It's I was watching or I was reading, and I was reading something and they were talking about like Eskimo Pie anchw Mima, Uncle Ben's all these things that have been canceled by the Wokesters in recent years, Cleveland, Indians, Washington Redskins, things like that. And I was like, what about the cracker Jack that's a survivor. Where does this stop? I mean,

do they keep going? Just keeps going? Because people are like, well, if you know, if one person feels better about it, and now you've gotta no no. I actually had this conversation with an old buddy of mine and radio we were talking about the other day and we were talking about how in the olden days, and we're around the same age, Dame and we were growing up, if somebody had a problem with something said, okay, deal with it now. If somebody has a problem, we gotta change everything. If

one person does not like what we're doing. We gott change everything. So stupid, but it was outright offensive and it's a mistake. That's clear. But what's not clear is when people are not even bothered by something and somebody goes out of their way to change it or make a problem about it, when no one else even batted an eye on it. Yeah, and my evidence how ridiculous. This cracker Jill thing which Blind Scott wanted to talk about is cracker Jack was not named after a guy.

People think it was named after a guy Jack Cracker or something like that. There's no Jack Cracker that we know in the eight hundreds. Cracker Jack the products started in the late eighteen hundreds and the tagline was the more you eat, the more you want, and that was the tagline on that, but it was it was actually named after someone who sampled the product for the first time, who said, when they ate this concoction, they said, that's a cracker jack. And that was a colloquial term in

the eighteen hundreds and it meant of excellent quality. Now for dumb people it means uh, you know, derogatory term towards white people. Crack. That's what they think of for some people, but it never meant that. And that's a term that's not not used anymore. Like bozo. You're a bozo? I should you use bozo. That's a good word bozo anyway. So that's that's that. Moving on, Who is next? Let's see Bob in North Carolina is complaining about one of

our colleagues here at Fox Sports Radio. He's requesting a show to listen to other than that show. And Bob, probably not a good idea for us to name the show. I'll bleep it out, all right. Uh he named the he named that show. Hates that show, says horrible radio, can't stand it. One of our former co workers is on that show. Yes, a central figure on that show. I like that show. I think it's a good show. These guys hot hot opinions on that show. And so

I don't know what to tell you. There's plenty of options. You can save the podcast for part of the week and listen to this over and over again. You can have a replay of the overnight show if you want. Whatever it takes, So good luck. I hope you find something. There's plenty of audio content out there. Garan f and T on that next up is Azzy Momentum. He says, Hey, Benn and Danny g do either of you consider yourselves fisherman? Have you ever been deep sea fishing? Cheers Azzy Momentum.

I have not. I've been fishing, but just on land where you cast your your a lot into the water and see how you do there. And I'm a terrible fisherman. The line get all tangled, I got board, the fish weren't biting, and then I got embarrassed because other fishermen were getting fish to bite and I didn't, and it was humiliating and derogatory, and so I haven't been back. What about you, Danny, You've ever been out on a

boat out there in the Pacific fishing somewhere? I wouldn't want to fish on the or in the ocean, but a lake is great for fishing and great cod piece. Frank Pollock are man. Frank Pollock are late, great colleague. Yeah. I used to take special needs kids from Compton, California, out on a boat to fish. I talked about it on the podcast. One other time, my dad invites me and my older brother to a derby in the mountain city he lives in at bass lake and there's a

fifty thousand dollar trout that's tagged. Then they tag all these other fish with a thousand dollar tags and one fish in the lake, so you can cash in if you catch any of these fish. But we caught not a last time. That is pretty cool. That is pretty cool. Think, Yeah, I like the Derby's there fun. But these assholes kept passing us on a boat all day and they showed us every time that they caught another fish. I told my dad, I said, I bet those are paid actors

from the city of Bath Lake. There ain't no fish in here, yeah, or what if they put the fifty thou dollar fishing and some other thing eats it? And then yeah, Well that's why I told you the story. Because we saw a bald eagle swooped down on the lake, remember, and it took a trout and flew off with the trout. And I looked at my dad with a straight face, and I was like, there goes the dollar fish. And that bird looked back at you and said just like that, And I was like, yeah, I guess I got some

money here for sure. Mike and foot in the last one Dayny last last one in the mail bag. This is the final message. I got mail. Yeah, I got mail. Yeah again. If you would like to send a message in future programs every Sunday, you can send it in care of Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour, spell it all out F I F T H Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Or you can post it on the Facebook page Ben mall or show.

Follow us on there and I post videos. If you're not on Twitter, I post videos on Twitter and YouTube occasionally on Instagram, and you can check that out. Mike in Fullerton says, like with the Fifth Hour, would you rather everyone on Twitter use their real name and city so you didn't have to say ridiculous user names like Alf the Alien, o Piner and uh Bronco fan on the weekday show. That's part of the charm of of Twitter. That's fine. It gives it personality. Otherwise it would be boring.

If you're like Chris and Omaha says this, Chris and Minnesota says this, and David and Ontario said this, that would be boring. Yeah, I like nicknames. Stevie meat Balls is a good nickname. One of the guys that calls in Alf is a legend Alfie, Animal Piner. But there are guys on Twitter that just go by their name. You got just Josh and Justin and Cincinnati. So there are those guys that mixed in or if it's a

senior citizen, it's just a phone number. That is one of the all time great story that would be in my book someday, That'll be in my book. So interested, so interested in being part of the show. They had a Twitter malfunction, did not did not realize that they were typing in their phone number in the name slot. And surprise, surprise, surprise, that was was awkward. So and all this Twitter is interactive. Every time I tweet, I get a phone call. I can't believe it. Oh Man,

oh Man, anything to promote Danny. You're in the Magic Radio do Joe oh the Fox Sports radio studios, the Hallowed Halls were legends like Bob Golic, Rich Horrera, Craig Sheeman, and James Washington walked back in the day, keep going, Jim Lampley, Tony Bruno, Andrew Siciliano. Think of the guys who did drugs. I'm not gonna uh extra tonight. Uh yeah, oh the beginning. You talking about the very we had was what Jeanie's Alaska hivan Frasier Bob Page was part

of that. And then the old CBS sports announcer with a mustache. You know who I'm thinking of, Pat O'Brien. Oh yeah, great, Pat O'Brien, buddy, Pat Pat Is. I could tell Pat Obrian's stories forever. How old is Pat these days? He hasn't aged in a while. Pat should live a very really lived a hard life back, but he's very thin and usually that that build, the build that Pat O'Brien has, you're gonna be around for a while. I think Pat's gonna be around for I still got

to meet him for lunch in Beverly Hills. He we had him on the podcast before you were on the podcast, and he invited me, if you do you know Pat? Well, you were there when he was there right briefly he was leaving as I joined. Okay, yeah, well Pat, I have a million Pat O'Bryan stories. But Pat's a he's a bullshit artist. So if you want, we can go to lunch with oh, that would be cool. Yeah. Yeah, he's a He's got a million stories about everybody. He's

got the legendary Pat O'Brian stories. I get to work with another legend whose voices on the HBO Lakers winning time, Steve Hartman, who I worked with on Saturday. Today, I'm doing the Coveno and Rich Show in the afternoon, and that's followed by the lead in to the Ben Mallor Show, which is Chris Plank and Arni Spaniard. Yeah, I will be back and we'll talk to some baseball. Maybe it'll be a big NFL story that we don't right now know about that's going to happen, that will carry the go.

You never know. It's the magic of it, and you just wait. You can't really prepare because you don't know what's gonna happen until it happens. What big stories are gonna break that are gonna get in your crow. Well, I just wanted before before we sign off, So you mentioned all the people that used to work at Fox Sports, right, I named a bunch of it. So my wife the other day tells me she's like at the police station.

She's been there long enough now where there's a lot of turnover and people people on law enforcement generally don't have no thirty year careers where because you get to a certain age age out and so there's been a lot of turnover. She was saying that she's gonna be like the last person left in a couple of years, and I was like, welcome to my world. Welcome to my world, because that happened a few years ago where

everyone turned over and little and when I started. There's not a single person left in that building that's working at Fox Sports Radio from when I began. It's crazy to think about that. That is weird. I've not been at a station or network long enough to experience that, So that's that's got to feel strange. It is, and you know, it's it's it's one of those things like some of these people I know when they started his interns, now they've been at the company fifteen years of working

and stuff. It's it's cool, but it's a little weird when you think about when I started and everything that went on. You're like Vince Evans, You're the Vince Evans of radio. He would always pop up. I'd be like, he's still quarterback sticking string exactly. He's still in the league. I'll never get to the varsity. He'll never get to the varsity anyway. All right, I have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful arrest of your Sunday and we will catch you

next time in the Magic Podcast, do Joe Later. Skater got a murder, Gotta go.