The Airline Chronicles

right now in the air everywhere. A good Saturday to you, and welcome to the latest red piping hot edition of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. As we do this eight days a week because you idiots keep downloading. I was hoping the download numbers would go down and we could go back to doing it one or two days a week, but the numbers keep going up, and we thank you for that. And there's no advertising budget. It's all word of mouth. That's it. Word of mouth. It's

a guerilla marketing campaign. It's working. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you and hate you at the same time. But keep it up. Four hours obviously not enough. And and the cool thing about the fifth hour is I would never be able to do an hour on politics and the election on the radio because I would be raked over the coals if I did that. But we did over an hour yesterday of content on the twenty election. If you missed it, go back and download that.

But this is they spin off of the radio show. And as you know, because you found it available all over the I Heart podcast network and available wherever you get your podcast. And joined yet again by a man from west of the four oh five David, I know it's suppressing. David Gascon is making his way in there, the insufferable, intolerable, annoying David Guesc. I think, I think I'm fantastic. I understand you do, Yes, I do. I got a company email the other day that told me, congratulations,

you have a company email. I never checked my company email. The funny thing is my boss, one of my bosses, will email me the company emails. He says, hey, I don't I know you don't check this, so here just to make sure my personal email. Yeah, I was. I was informed, like many of us were, that to keep your head on a swivel because during election week, police activity will rise because they expect some kind of civil

unrest writing and protesting and whatnot. That's always nice when you have to worry about going to work because people don't like who was elected for a political party in an office. Well, the chaos of the world, right, the chaos of the world. Now. I hope there's no writing outside the home studio here at the mallar Ranchi, and I hope that everything's okay and there's no anarchy. No, you know, I think if it will be a mob rule, you don't think they'll be that or not where you live? Hostility,

I don't know. I don't think there's any I don't think there's many people that live where you live. You don't think there'll be a rebellion? No, not where you live. How concerned should I be that Doc Mike, he's gonna move to California for four months. Why he got hired as an advisor? Some family found Doc on the internet, apparently didn't read about him, and hired him to go help somebody in their family that's sick, and so they're gonna put him up room and board for like four months.

Doc always leaves Chicago in the winter. He's not a dumb. He might be silly, but he's not dumb. And so he's gonna be out here, and he's like he's invited himself into the studio. And then I said, hey, Doc, I'm not actually at the studio anymore. I've got my home studio that I do the show from. So I with the remote studio and so um, and I'm not

gonna tell you where I live. And then so Doc Doc pretty much implied that he's going to use GPS tracking to find out where I live, and he's going to come into the home studio and complete disobedience and he will lead an insurgency, Yeah, and rise into the studio to overtake the the microphones, a Blayton disregard to authority and uh and trying to have a hostile takeover of the show. Yeah, that's how concern. Should I be talk? I wouldn't. I wouldn't put it past. Yeah, you should be.

I think I was reading a week or two ago about an NBC reporter that was using some some dark web tactics two docks individuals that were oh yeah, that was a great story, or contributing to the President Trump's re election campaign. She was actually doxing people that were contributing to intimidate them. Yeah, well we've seen all. I there was a story this week the other day about

you know, trying to docks sports owners. Uh. Well they exposed them to expose who's spending money on Republicans and uh, I don't know if you saw that story, but it's amazing. People that own sports teams are wealthy and there they want to keep their money, and so they vote for they vote for Republicans. That's a shocking concept. It is odd though, because the players are all supposed to be the other side, right, the players vote one way, even though the players are all rich to no one, No

one's poor in professional sports. There's not a single person in professional sports playing or owning a team that's poor. I'm still people that work for teams that are poor, but that's it. Yeah. I'm still waiting for someone to take a shot at Tiger Woods. But I don't think they're going to do that. No. No, Well, like we got Jack had that long email man, right, oh yeah, Jack Nicholas. Yeah, Jack Nicholas said the long long email

the other day. Alright, so on this podcast, the guess because because we we spent a lot of time I don't know if you know this on the political podcast, and so everything is a certain amount of a lot of time. And then when that doesn't go well, we have to change it up a little bit. So on this podcast we've got the Pilot Blues and and edition to that pop quiz. Pop quiz sounds good. Keep it simple. Now you'll get excited about this. You can might have

an orgasm. The Pilot Blues story, we go into the Mallard email bag, the fifth hour email address. This was sent in by a friend of West of the four oh five. I'm a pilot. Now normally I would not a lot a good amount of time to just an email. We did before with our biggest fan from Illinois that

exposed the Bob Page controversy. We've also done it. We had remember the listener who our show helped them out and they were into a confrontation at a I think it was a Walmart or a Costco or something like that, and they, uh, the police came and they liked our show and so they kind of gave him a break and all that stuff. So a few times we've done it, but this is from I'm a pilot, and I thought it was interesting. I want to share it with everybody, and I hope he does not mind that I'm gonna

read this a lot. I don't think he will. He didn't tell me not to use it, so I'm just gonna go forward, uh, he writes, And we'll stop throughout this and react. So he says, hey, guys, I just returned from my first trip back over to China. So he this guy goes all over the globe. You know more about him than I do, guest, but he goes all over the globe. He's an international pilot, so he's traveling the little Blue marble. Uh. And he says, guys, I just returned from my first trip back over to

China since obviously the apocalypse. And let me tell you, things are a bit different now I'm a pilot, says. I will preface this by first saying, my company normally sends us pilots to pretty plush hotels for our stay. He says, it's typically a nice central downtown location, executive room and lounge, free food, drink, executive privileges, all the privileges included, etcetera. All the things that one would expect.

I've seen this. So I've stayed at some hotels, nice hotels like in New York, and the pilots will come in from JFK and they'll stay there for a few hours and then go back to JFK. And uh, we we've witnessed that. But anyway, so he says, it's like that everywhere. Obviously that's how the work, the travel game goes. Uh, he says, those are all things that you would expect. We have pretty much free range to go to some

nice restaurants or bars or go shopping. All right, now you're ready for the plot twist, Yes, he says, Well, brothers, that isn't the case anymore. I'm a pilot, says, I will give you the quick some nation of some nation,

rather of our new Chinese government mandated procedures. So again, this is a guy fan of the show, fan of westvill four oh five, unfortunately, but he is giving his experience, having been to China many times over the years, the difference between the US and China and what's happened since the pandemic COVID nineteen coronavirus star. He says, upon arrival in China, we are greeted by two full Hasmatt wearing employees of company and quickly escorted through customs and immigration.

Upon the way, we have our upon the way, we have a temperature check and it's checked a few times, and some paperwork is checked. They also checked our pre departure COVID test results. All right, next, but wait, there's more. Next we waited for two more hasmat wearing security officers to escort us from immigration to hotel which is attached to the airport. So again before staying at nice downtown hotels.

And I don't know what city this is in, in China, Beijing or wherever, but now in a hotel, I'm I'm implying it's a shitty hotel that's attached to the airport. And I'm a pilot, says you enter and leave using back doors and orrvious elevators, so you're going through the kitchens. It's like sneaky when I was a kid. I don't know if I've told the story before. I was an autograph hound when I was a kid. I should I

do a podcast on that sometimes. But one of my great accomplishments, the All Star Game, was in San Diego. This is back maybe in the early nineties, and we got tipped off because we had a network, this before social media and email, and we got tipped off that Joe di Maggio, the Great Joe di Maggio, was going to be at this hotel. Guy tipped this off, so we went. He was in town for an autograph show at the All Star Game. So we went to this

hotel to get Joe DiMaggio's autograph. And keep in mind, I was like, you know, I was, you know, a young guy, and but I was on my own at that time. And now I wasn't living on my own, but I made my way to San Diego. I wasn't working in San Diego. I was before I worked in San Diego. So I went to the hotel luxury hotel in San Diego and Otamaggio gets off. We spotted him.

We said we were stalking the lobby. We spotted DiMaggio get off the main elevator, bank, make a quick left turn, walked right through the back the employee area, through the kitchen, and uh and dotted every kid, every kid, And we were so piste off. I was like, I spent hours in that hotel lobby and uh, you know, this magic had security and They went right through the kitchen, right through the area where they take the dirty linen's and

they do the laundry. Wow, that's pretty damn good. So my my encounter with the Great Joe DiMaggio was to just see an old man with two big, burly security guards get out of an elevator and make a quick left turn into the service area of the hotel and through the kitchen. It's not even It's like almost not even worth it to fly out there, don't you think? Yeah, I actually wrote back, I said, I'm guess said you're I'm not done with the email, by the way, but

I there's more to it. But I I wrote back, I said, I bet you wish you could have that Southwest Airlines from Dallas to Houston route now. And it's that, you know, all right? So the email continues again, this is very detailed. I wanted to give it it's proper time. Let it breathe a little bit. This is from our buddy, we Guestcon's buddy. I'm a pilot fan of the show, and so we told you what happens. He arrives in China, He's greeted by has Matt employ This is like out

of a horror movie. So far, isn't it? And didn't flying into China especially right now? Yes, it is. If you were an alien from another planet and you came here, this is how you would be greeted by people, if we knew you were coming. This would be how you were remember wrong, not at all. I don't think I'm wrong all right, So, so far when we left off

too full has matt wearing employees? Uh, you know, check the temperature paperwork, the whole thing, go to the hotel attached the airport, you and and leave using backdoors and service elevators. As we said, that led to my Joe DiMaggio, non sequitur um. Then here we go. Now I'm a pilot, says it gets fun. He says the hotel is staff with Chinese CDC personnel. Only to the only people at that are working at the hotel. They work for the Chinese c d C. And uh, he says, you have

a temperature check, you fill out some more paperwork. What a nightmare? What a freaking nightmare? Uh, you fill more paperwork with your quarantine requirement procedures. And then he lists the quarantine requirement procedures. You want to hear these, yeah, give them to me, all right. Number you are not issued a room key. Now, why are you not issued a room key? Gascon by the Chinese CDC because if

you have coronavirus you can transfer it onto said key. No, you are not given a room key because you are not allowed to leave your room for any reason, so you don't need a key. Welcome to China. Holy crap, all the are you serious? Is this real? We think it's real. We have no reason to not believe it. We know a little bit about I'm a Pilot. I don't know too much, but from everything we have been told,

this is true. But wait, there's more, guest gun, you are then, according to I'm a Pilot Number two, you are escorted to your room by CDC staff and there are cameras. As it's pointed out here, this is China, and the hallways are monitored by the c d C personnel. Sound good? How hows that sounds so far? It sounds like him in boot camp? You Number three, you must check your temperature three times a day and record it on a form. Well you could lie about that, you

could just write it down right? How do they they have cameras? In the room, they might do you have to put the thermometer up your ass? Is that required? Also? All right? Number four? No ordering any takeout food to be delivered not allowed? No, no door dash, no of that. You are given twenty disinfected tablets. Uh. And it's as tablets here, ten of which are supposed to be placed in a toilet prior to defecation. Oh, I see, so

they're kind of okay. So they think that the Chinese government seems to think that just taking a ship that the coronavirus will get out in the air into the water, well maybe the water, but also in the air. And then yeah, that's interesting, that's interesting. Number six, the room is basic. Contains two full size beds, one of which has no sheets. That's that's nice. So they want you to sleep obviously the bed with the sheets. Of that. Number seven, you are given one sheet, two pillows, and

a comforter. Comforter in the room. That's it. What if you call down? I wonder what happens if you say, can I get an extra pillow? How would that go? What if you want to bring in company, like a nice young lady to cuttle up with apparently not allowed? Uh? There is a there's a table outside the door, and inside a table and a chair and a small TV thto are smaller. There are eighteen channels. One of them

is in English. It's a slight issue if you're you know, don't speak the native tongue in China, and you're they're hanging out a little bit of a problem. What do you think the English channel is CNN? Yeah, seeing an international just like Chinese state runs television, State sponsor television. All right, number nine, It gets better, It gets even better. You are issued one roll of toilet paper, one shower gel,

one shampoo, conditioner, soap, and slippers. All right, Well that I might need a elextra toilet paper, but you know, I'm okay with one shower gel, one shampoo. That's that's not too bad. I don't think if I'm gonna if if I'm a pilot, I'm staying on the fucking plane. Just I'm not even deborting. I'm going in the first class. I'm just laying out. Yeah, that's why the planes he

flies are I would guarantee more luxurious than this experience. Yeah, I think it flies like seven seventy seven and seven eight seven. Those things are huge. Number ten bathroom has two bath towels, one hand towel. Again, that to me is not that egregious. Of course, I've stayed at some fleabag hotels, so for me, it doesn't sound that bad. Sounds like my normal hotel. Meals. You want to hear how the meals go. Meals are served at six thirty

thirty and seventeen hundred. Uh. They knock on the door right there, and they they placed the food on the table that they remember telling you there's tables outside the doors. Um, so I guess you're allowed to open the door and get the food out. This sounds like prison, right, Don't they do that in prison? They slide the cliche of the the the Hollywood trope of the prison where they slide the food under the prison door, right as we've all seen that in the movies, just like that iron

tray that comes in and out. Yeah, exactly. Meals according to I'm a pilot, are these are Chinese meals? Your only crime so far is being a pilot and doing your job, And this is the way that you're treated by the Chinese government. Meals are are, They're hot, There's some kind of chewy meat, rice, bread, and vegetable. They come with two later bottles of water. One you can choose from a few options. All of them are pretty bland, according to to I'm a pilot, I'd probably like that.

I like blond, bland food, so I'd probably be okay with that. Number thirteen. Again, the hold on, where is the upside of leaving the plane? Because you can go in the galley anything from the first class meal selection, they not let you stay on the plane. Is that the issue here? That's probably the problem because they have to bring the has met guys. Imagine what they're doing to the planes. This is what they're doing the people. Imagine what they're doing. The plays they knew them. Jeez

all right. Number thirteen a number thirteen on the list. Breakfast is an English style omelet about that the Chinese lovely English style at sausage, potato, bread, beans, a cereal milk, orange banana muffin, and a two Leader bottle of water. That's not a lot of water. To Leader bottle water, it's not a lot of I like a lot of water. I'm a water drenker. I like my agua. Uh so, yeah, I mean it does sound like a great bread. I'm not breakfast guy. I fast. I would probably miss that meal.

I would skip that meal. I'd like an extra Can you ask them for extra lunch and dinner? Could that? You know? Or just give me one big meal at much time? Probably not, but just imagine knowing this and taking that sixteen hour flight to go do it. Yeah, that's true. I got two more points. And this is our investigative reporter will call him, I'm a pilot, and we do thank you for this. It's a very detailed and I think it's good that we need to get this out. I've not heard this before, but I know

his new information. He didn't have something better or different when he goes to like Europe or like I don't know, Indian. We look forward to hearing that story. But he also says number fourteen, the internet is spotty and very slow. Spotty and very slow and um guessing monitored. Right. The Chinese Internet much different, and I've I've heard that the good people of China have figured out the way. There's a work around and you you get a device on the on the internet, and it's called v p N VPN.

Do you have a VPNA? How's that working? For you. It's good, it's cheap, it's not expensive. But how much does it cost? I paid fifteen bucks for it? Just that's it. Do you have to pay it every month? No? I got it from a buddy of mine. Can you hook a hook a guy up or something? You know what what I'm saying them if you knew somebody that might need a VPN, you know, might have used to have one that doesn't have one. I mean, just for an entire year for a link to NFL games, and

you tell me to kiss your ass. How about this, Let's negotiate. Let's make a deal. You hook me up with your guy. One time fee fifteen bucks. I'll even pay him twenty Okay, I'm generous. I will give you the mother of all links. I will give you the great, the single link to unlock any sporting event you've ever wanted to watch globally, really for free. You have a firestick? No? Are you sure? I don't? All right, it sounds like you've a firestick. No, this is what this is web based.

This is not that's web based, all right. It is game changing, It is life changing. It is so good that only a few people know about it. I'm one of them. That's how good. That's how good it is. Okay, that's all I will say. And I can say that because I was told that the people using said website are not in any kind of criminal danger. The people who run the website are the ones that are in some trouble. Yes, yes, that's the that's my offer, guest, and that is my offer. I will give you the

Holy Grail, the Holy Grail, and in return VPN. Yeah, it's done. It's funny you say that because the same guy that I just mentioned, he was getting monitored by the FBI and and they actually set him shut down orders because he has like a bunch of towers in his place are used to anyway, and they would shut and he'd they were told or he was told to shut down his towers. Really, yeah, this is like back and like the the pirrating days of like piroting stuff.

So the VPN is awesome because you can go and even though you're in the same location, you can the Internet. You can convince the Internet that you're in a different Look you say you're in New York, you can say you're in California. Or certain things are blocked from viewing in America, but if you're in Europe you can watch a lot of people do this to watch Netflix, because Netflix has different programming depending on which country you're in.

Even YouTube, like if you go to YouTube videos here in the States, there could be some internationally that you can't watch because of the permissions. Now, I just want to go for the record. You should not do this. It's wrong to do this. It's inappropriate to do this. You should not do it. It's immoral. You might go to hell. Don't do it. But if you do do it, let us know how to work. All right, last point from I'm a pilot. This very detailed message, he says, Uh.

The final message. You get a knock thirty minutes before your schedule time to depart, to leave the hotel, you are escorted back, your temp is checked at various times, and paperwork again is filed and is checked. He did finish it by saying, thank goodness, I had downloaded your podcast as they kept me entertained along with Netflix. Never enjoyed my own bed. More signed I'm a pilot. That guy. That's a good email. Good job by you. I'm a pilot.

You know I've I've been a critic of your work there, sir, that he took a good job by you, but he took your advice. He journaled everything during his trip. Yes, thank you. That's great. Have not heard this anywhere. I've not read this anywhere that this is how our pilots are being treated and and the people who work in the airline industry when they go to China. Oh man,

what if you're just doing business there? Same thing, I would think, right, something similar You're gonna been quarantined for. So the question is this is this just a communist country flexing its muscle, or since this virus is believed to have started in China, and there's some conspiracies that it was from a lab in Wuhan, China, is there a chance that they know more about this than we do and that this is actually how you're supposed to be handling this. I think it's both. I think there's

both a little bit of both. I think a lot of both. You don't think so, Yeah, I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I've read this email a couple of times. Obviously I had the advantage of reading it because he sent it to us a few days ago, and I just get ready for the podcast, and I

saw it. I said, we got to talk about this um to put the toilet the disinfectant tablets, and the toilet got my attention, Like if you have coronas your ship so lethal that it gets in the water supply, and I mean it's just that that part kind of opened my eyes. The hotel key got me, Well, that's

just a dick move by the hotel. That's just that's just Hey, we're common is China and uh, you know, funky as essentially right, I mean, as as of when we recorded this podcast, China ranked fifty five globally amongst the entire world with coronavirus cases. Well, as President Trump said, the numbers might be askewed a little bit right, maybe

a little bit askewed there. And so the intent for them is obviously a dictator and that regime and then on top of that the bully of the Chinese just locking people down because they hand and they don't want this to get out anywhere else. But yeah, I mean, listen, it's a time like their GDP has risen, like they haven't had many falls for the United States in the world has of the last couple of quarters, well, It's

also a good way to get some street cred. You know, we're ruthless, we're heartless, were barbaric, don't come to China. This is like just like the old school days of people going into the Philadelphia Spectrum and being worried about getting their ass kicked up the no veteran stadium, man, then, and the first it's a great trivia question. You know

this though. The first stadium to have a police precinct was Veteran Stadium, the VET in Philadelphia because guys like Fats in Philly would come in there with baseball bats and bloody knuckles and uh was it the seven hundred level? What was it called the upper deck? And at the Vet. Oh, I've heard stories about that. My god, the stories I've heard. I don't know how many of them are true, and how many of them are embellished in their fish stories. But man, oh man, it was like Sodom and Gomorra

right out of the Bible seven level. It's yeah, that was after after COVID breaks up and after we get this thing closed with we can it happen soon? Does it happen next week? Guest contest in next maybe? Yeah, maybe after November three. I don't know we need to go to I think it'd be appropriate to go on a on a trip with I'm a Pilot, maybe to like Amsterdam or like Barcelona. Well, my wife would love that.

She's got family not an Amsterdam, but not far away from there, and that would be a dream come true. So that would be that would be cool. You'd love Amsterdam. Amsterdam is fucking awesome, right too. I don't think my wife would let me actually enjoy the red light district, but I can window shop, right, I mean you can. I think your wife would enjoy the red light Well, yeah, she's a little more loose, uh with her you know,

going out having a good time than I am. I'm a little more button up when it comes to that kind of stuff. And she likes sweets. I could see her picking like cookies in the brownies, like the special magical ones. You gotta be a little careful because of her job, but maybe my mistake. You know, it's as long as it's gluten free, don't you know. All right, Well, thanks to I Am a Pilot, great job. This is the kind of content we'd love for this podcast. So if you're a p one, if you're a big fan.

You have a kind of a job that you can give us some inside information. Well, we won't use your name if you don't want us to use your name. Will protect the guilty or protect the innocent, um, but send us an email and and it's it's really cool that I'm a pilot did this. And the email address for the show is very very simple. It's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Or you can email me at just Ben Maller at at gmail dot or Ben

Mallor Show at gmail dot com. Bet mallor Show at gmail dot com or Real fifth Hour at a gmail dot com. In the story that you think we'd like, maybe we'll use I can't guarantee we're gonna use it, but think about us. All right, you can break some news. This is a story I had not heard anything about. We've had some good ones. We had your doctor on the East coast. Yes, we had that's great, that was right. The guy was he? Forget which state? Not really important,

but yes, south Carolina. I think it was in South Carolina. I think so. We had him, and then my buddy in Ireland, um my buddy calling from Dublin. And then obviously I'm a pilot who was overseas in the People's Republic of China, breaking news on the fifth hour. All right, we have pop quiz. You want to do pop quiz? Go a few pop quiz here would go. These are actual quiz questions found around the internet. I will quiz guest. Go on, and I will quiz you as well. All Right,

here we go. H Nearly a third of mothers admit that when they were in a jam, they have done this to their kid. Um in a jam, they've left their kids in the car. What why would you leave your kid in the car if you're in your jam, I don't know. No, it's borrow money from their piggy bank. M that's flame. It's a dick move, but it's the perfect move. But because kids don't really realize how much money they have until a certain age, so below a certain age you can get away with it. It's the

perfect crime. See I did the reverse when I was a kid, and he would steal from your dad's piggy Yeah. But see, this is the worst part about it is you know, I feel I feel bad about it, and obviously more so now than when I was a kid. But my dad and my mom would keep old school coins and old school bills, in particular two dollar bills, and I would use the two dollar bills. Oh, my dad is the same. My dad loves the two dollar bill. He has like an orgasm when he goes to the

store and pays with it. He doesn't usually pay with it, but sometimes I'll go to the store and try to pay with the two dollar bill. Because so many people under a certain age, and these are people that work at like Trader Joe's or you know, Target, they don't know, they've never seen. They think it's counterfeit. They think it's fake. Yeah, it's a good bill. It is solid. You gotta go to the bank and ask, can I get a couple of two dollar bills? Can I get a couple of

two dollar bills? Do you have? I think get the order of those? Don't you? Maybe now you do. But when I was younger, you just could go into the bank and they, you know, sometimes they'd have them and they get him out. Uh. The other thing is if you keep like old the old twenty dollar bills, they

think those are counterfeit. Like if you have money laying around as old and I found uh, I don't a lot of gambling money that I had buried in a bag and I went to pay, and I had the old style twenty dollar bills and they they looked that thing over. They had a magnifying glass out. They were like, oh, what is this? The writing on this was different. Well, it's just even bad when you go to Vegas now and you go to the casinos and they mark your

bills with a with a highlighter. That sucks. Yeah, that's a that's a dick move, all right. Another pop quo question. A new survey asked people how they have kept their mind sharp during the pandemic. Thirty six percent of people said this, and I am in this thirty six percent, gescoun that's your clue. I am part of this thirty six percent of people that have done this to keep their mind sharp. So it's either fasting or exercising. I'll go with fasting. No, none of the above. None of

the above. Watching documentaries, watching documentary. I don't feel good watching a documentary unless they talk to somebody else about it, because then I don't retain it as much. That makes sense, Yeah, I I with my wife. That's kind of thing. We we watched. That's our neutral ground because she doesn't really like sports that much and I don't really like the ship that she likes, so that's the middle ground. Like

we both enjoy learning random things from documentaries. And I understand all documentaries are biased because we were made the documentary is uh, you know, has has biased. We all have bias based on our background and or upbringing all that. But the one I've been watching, which I'm upset with and I love it, it was from last year. It's the country music documentary on PBS. And I'm not even

like a big country music fan. I've actually become more of a country music fan watching this, and I like some of the early country music musicians, which I'm shocked by. And young Ben would say, what the fund is wrong with old Ben? But but no, it's good stuff. It's

good music. And but the reason I was told to watch it by a friend of mine was it they said that you'll be amazed at how radio and country music were in bed with each other the early days of radio in America, and how they were side by side, and the popularity of radio was tied to country music, and the popularity of country music was tied to radio. It's like the Hillbillies and the some of these early episodes. It was crazy like radio stations uh ws, b uh we,

Southern Boys was what it was. It was what it was called. But it was all like country music stuff. And they in the early days of radio, they would hire hands to live in the city where the radio station was and just performed nightly. They'd have shows at like nine o'clock at night every night. Um, big acts would perform and they'd be tied to the radio station. That's pretty solid. I mean, we have some of them

with I Heeart, Like we have a performance studio in Burbank. Yeah, but that's like come in once a time and once in a while. This was every night or every Saturday night. In fact, in Nashville, they at Opera Land that they had all the big that was like the biggest spot in the world. And that station was in the early days of radio, went from coast to coast. You could hear Opery Land performances country music from coast to coast.

That's owing. And I worked at the Mighty six Nighty in San Diego, which was a border blaster station, and they that was the same concept of it was a little bit later after country music. Um, but that was where Wolfman Jack had worked the You know, nobody knows who that is anymore, but a legendary DJ. If you're a radio nerd like me, that's a big deal. I remember when I worked. I walked in the hallways at the Mighty for the first time, and I was excited because I got to work with hacks On. It was

a big deal. But I saw they had a photo of hacks of not Hacksa, but of of the legendary DJ there. I was like, oh my god, wolf Man Jack. I mean, because I heard story he had this really gravelly kinda you know, it's hard to describe, but I think they parodied him. Uh. They did a parody of him in the Simpsons one time in the early Simpsons. But anyway, he passed away a long time ago, but it was kind of cool. But that was a border Blaster station, So you should check that out if you

have time. It's a very long I've only gotten through like the first four episodes. I still have a lot to get through, but I only watched these on the weekend, so it's gonna take me probably the rest of the damn year to get through these documentaries because like sixteen hours of documentaries. I think I've made it through four hours so far. But it's good. It's really good. And I don't know how much I'm gonna like the last few because I like the early ones because mostly about radio.

I think the further on it gets away from that because the radio business aged. And to think though, this makes me feel good that I've done night radio mostly. I did a mid day, the mornings a little bit, but mostly nights and overnights. The early days of radio value like eight and nine o'clock at night. Now it's about six am to six pm. After that doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. They don't care. They spit on your radio if you're on any other time than six am to

six pm. How does that it feel? It feels good now, getting like getting spit on? All right, Uh, let's see what's next. Al Right, we did the documentaries. According to a new survey, two thirds of people who are working remotely right now say there are things they miss about the office. What was the thing they missed most? Free food? Uh? No, being face to face with other people. I don't miss that at all. Actually, one of the reasons of my life has improved. Is I'm not face to face with

other people in a asshole. Oh my god, kidding, calm down, cheese, You're not kidding. I'm kidding. I am kidding. I am kidding. I I got this. I got this triggering text a couple of days ago from a colleague of ours who was a producer and he produces Between Fox and I Heart Los Angeles. Ben. He sent me a picture, not of a vending machine. He sent me a picture of a refrigerator that looked like a vending machine, but it was free for all the employees. Where this I heart

l A Heart Burbank, are you shipping me? Really? The refrigerator, Ben, a kid, you not was stocked with ice cream, chicken, ice cream, sandwiches, Snickers, ice cream bars, like all these desserts. I was just like, what the fuck is this? He says, it's stocked all the time for us. Nothing that would get it from you know. I worked at EI and they brought me back there a few times to these shows and they went to the cafeteria and I was immediately,

what's what's the cafetal? Like, who cares? What? What kind of food do they have? And so I go in the cafe too, and they had it looked like, um, like a Quickie mark set up in the cafeteria, and I was like, holy crap is And then somebody pointed out, it's it's not free. It's the honor system. They say it's the honor system though, but at Intercom Boston they had a camera on on on the food. So it's the honor system. But if people aren't paying, I think

they're gonna go back to the videotape as Warner Wolf that. Yeah, but they had everything, but you had it was cheap, you know. It's kind of like when I first went to Yankee Stadium, the old Yankee Stadium in the nineties, and I went to the press box. The food was not free, but you could get a hot dog for like a dollar and a pretzel for fifty cents. It was that kind of thing. So the food was a little cheaper than normal, but he still had to pay for all. Right, we don't we we don't. We don't

get that. Although they didn't put a vending machine, which was a big accomplishment. That was a big accomplishment that took seventeen eighteen years before the company put a vending machine in where we all worked. En, we don't. We don't just have a kitchen that is right out of the Smurfs. That is a Smurf kitchen. I love it. I love the Smurfs when I was a kid. Alright, forty, are you eating? By the way, I guess gonna sounds

like you're eating? I heard chewing, because that would be a really schmucky move to eat while we're doing the I was eating, I ate before we started this thing. Well, maybe you're eating again. Maybe you're a big fatty and you're eating. I'm a big fatty, but I'm not eating again. Alright. Couples do this together before getting married. What is it? Buy a house? That's the same train of thought. Not a house, It's something smaller than a house, but something

that this. Many women use this as a test to find out if a man is worthy. This is very important to women. This is I'm generalizing and I am stereotyping, but I think I'm right. I think this This cuts across all ethnicities. All yeah, all of that doesn't matter your ethnic background. I think all women are wired the same way. Generally. When when there's an even um guy guys, how about that you just throw me a curveball. I don't know, get a pet together? Fuck right? They don't.

My buddy of mine when I was in college, he told me, he says, be be worried when the woman wants to get a dog or a cat with you. That is a test to see if you're if your father material. How you take care of the pet is how you're gonna take care of your kid, and and so they before they you know, the women have your child, they want to know that you're gonna be able to handle a pet. It's good, alright. Four of people admit to hitting this while driving. What is it? Stirring wheel

or horn? No, that's something you hit like with your car. Oh, I was gonna say, like I hit my horn when I um so your horny? When you drive yourn hit the curb. No, they hit a toll booth. What How's that? You not? I don't. It can't be fourteen percent? Is there? That? Is that a big pandemic where people are taking down toll booth? I remember I was on the New York Expressway driving overnight one time and I stopped at the too. I've told the story before, but this guy that was

the toll booth operator. I am convinced that he was not actually human. He was like a zombie or he was like an alien from it was like men in black, that kind of thing. And I expected him to like rip the skin off and become something else. It was wild. But I never hit a toll booth. I did it when I was in when I was in Boston. I have a couple of toll booster I did the one

in upstate New York, but Boston. My guy Vinny, the Great Vinnie, in Boston, we were going over one of the bridges there in Boston there was a told told booth and he told me, he said, go to I think it was like lane seven or something. I forget which number, but he said, go to that, go to that lane. I said, what the Leney, what the video? I said, who the who the funk? Cares Vinnie? I mean, they're all the same. Not not to go over there.

I know a guy. So we go to the toll booth and the guy Vinny pops his head out of the back window you know, you know, someone smilling, and he then proceeds to give him the fake handshake where he slipped him, pretends like he's slipping him the money, toll, booth goes up, gate goes up, We go through not having to pay the toll. Okay, so this is something relatable, but it's a little bit different. But you know this being living in in l a like late at night

drive throughs are some of the hardest curbs to turn. Yes, that is true. At the jack in the box, when you're making a foodie run, it's a problem. It is a I agree, no, no, no disagreement. There no lies detected, No lies detected at all. Man, all right. One in eight women admit they get annoyed when they meet a woman who has this do do do Do Do Do

do do botox? Uh, No, it is incorrect. Twelve point five percent of women are annoyed when they meet a woman that has the same name they have what I would have fought the same outfit, because don't women usually get a little caddy. It's a higher percentage. Yeah, probably, I don't care. I I I feel a bond. When guys call up named band, I'm like, look another band. He's lived the same life I've had with Ben. Uh you know, I feel good. I'm happy about there's a

lot of people named David. How do you feel about other people named David. It's a good name, it's a great name. That's a better name. Ben Trump's David not in the Bible's evil Laughez. You're making the great, the great. Ben's so many great Ben, Ben Roethlisberger. Benjamin Franklin. That's right, he's probably a goat. Right, Ben Gordon NBA player, Great Ben, you know, solid guy, good career. Ben Ogilvie, baseball player for the Brewers back in the eighties. Good Ben, Ben

McDonald picture for the Oriels. A lot of Bens sneaky, good name, Ben sneaky, Ben Watson, tight end. Come on, Patriots, super Bowl winner champion name Ben alright of us have accidentally dropped our phone into this to no beer, I've never done that, not yet. Life's not over. Still time, still time to doing Hold on? Why would I've dropped

my phone in beer? Though? Well, I don't know. You're drinking a beer, you're at the bar, you got the beer mug in front of you, and you're holding your phone looking at social media and looking at an ass model on Instagram. And then the next thing you know it slips and there you going noo. How do these ass models make so much money? I looked up somebody sent me a link to some guy in the Miami Heat that was dating some Instagram models, So I I was like, how do they make money? I looked it up.

She's worth like five million dollars. Oh she does is bend over tables and you know, you shove her tushy in your face and she makes fun. How is that possible? How? I don't see any advertising? How did I'm seriously, how do they make money? Well? She holds up the little shake the who's buying that? No one's buying there. They're looking at her, ask they're not buying the drink. Yeah, they're buying the clicks or they get paid up front. Though that's the other thing too, what a scam. It's

good though, good for them, good for the ladies. But I mean, but who, but who comes out on top? Is it them or is the plastic surgeons here in l A. Oh? Yeah, because that's the revolving industry. You talk about buying an iPhone seven and having to buy a new one within a year or two, that's the same thing. Yeah, they have It's the key thing in

any business is to get a monthly payment plan. If you're a plastic surgeon, you pretty much have that because you've gotta have some maintenance done on your your botox or your your ass implants or your boomin playing. You gotta have that stuff upgrading. I mean, I've seen I've seen women using P E D s now, Is that right? Yeah? Like I see, like you could tell what kind of

what kind of women are you dating? Man? But the fitness models, like when they're when they're showing less than ten percent in body fat and they're well into their thirties and forties, I'm fucking sorry, you're not pumping out too sto stone like a volume anyway, And like that, I just had a developing take here. Could you imagine you? Could you imagine if they called then Congress called in the Instagram booty models like they did the baseball players.

Did you have acid plants? I have never, And you could have some woman wearing spandex pointing at I have never had acid plants. Ever, how great would that be? Four inch long fingernails. Yes, that's exactly exactly covered in makeup on the whole thing. Oh that would be wonderful. God, that would be great. That would be a good parody. Skin and they still did comedy. If they did comedy, that would be a good bit. Oh, that would be funny, all right. When it comes to surprise gift gifting giving,

fifty of moms admit that they have done this. M m. They've used old gifts. No, they have forgotten where they hid the gifts. Interesting. This is like the reason there's hidden treasure, right that people hide things and then they forget exactly where they put the thing of gold bars. And that's why. Yeah, it's called the treasure hunt. Um, we we've done that here. My wife has put stuff away and then completely forgotten where it is, and then we have to go buy new We have to buy

that stuff again. When I was a kid, I used to love Easter egg hunts of my uncle. My uncle's six ft four and he was he is creative, and he would hide the eggs and the eggs would either have like a dollar in it, five bucks, twenty dollars or candy in it. And he'd hide these eggs all over my ground, my grandmother's house outside, up in the trees, on top of a trailer. He was really creative. I was used to love those. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. The well we we didn't have growing up Jewish, I

was in being Jewish. We didn't have that, but we had the the what's it called, boy, I'm having a the Offie Coleman. I believe that's it. And and we would have to hide that, which is like the Jewish version of the Easter egg. And then the kids would run through the house and try to find the Afie Coleman. Where did you hide the Offie Coleman? And uh And I gotta tell you, I beat my bro I got two brothers. I beat him most of the time. I was good at that. I was good at that. I

was able to find the Afie Coleman. I was loser. Leaves California, you know, the winner California. What are you talking about? They both went to states, so they're like California. So I don't know, I don't know how they won that, at least politically, they're like California. Um man, all right. The older people get, the less likely they are to do this. Mm hmmm um shave no procrastinate, you know, take time doing stuff. The older you get, yes, stuff done.

Oh I procrastinate like no other I have heard about that. I know when it comes to booking certain people on the podcast, it's uh, get to it, get to it like a like a famous man once told me pro bo, no, you're getting my leftovers. I don't know who your your your name is your product? I mean, my god. I well as you told me that, the great me, I don't know what I know. I would never you have no proof of that. I've never said my name is not on the marquees, so I did not have to worry.

That is true that I have told you that. That is absolutely true. Nearly ten percent of pet owners admit doing this, even though it's something that most people would think is gross. Um eating their dog food or eating their pets food. Yes, taste testing their dog food. Well with with Bella, do you actually give her dog food or do you give her food that you guys would eat? Know, we we have dog food for her to eat. She

does not like the dog food. She prefers to give us puppy dog eyes and beg whenever I'm eating, and which is not very often, thank god. But yeah, she knows how to work the room. Yeah, my sister who knows how to work at room. One of my sisters cooks up a good, a good little dinner for for her dog. She does chicken and vegetables like on the regular. That's cool. Yeah, that's nice. Alright, last one here, because we're my god. Look at the time, my god, look

at the time. We've gone long again. That Sunday podcast will be ten minutes all right. Anyway, the average person believes that in a perfect world, this would take twelve minutes to get done. What is it? Orgasms? That's funny. No, the correct answer would be a cooking dinner. Well, what foods could you make in twelve minutes? Like chocolate chip cookies you can get I could do a steak in twelve minutes. I could do a steak in twelve minute. How long does it take you to cook a Tomahawks steak?

That's gonna take a while. I'd probably take like probably double the time. Four minutes. Yeah, okay, interesting, Yeah, alright, we gotta get out of your guests. Yeah, we gotta go, I guess al alright, stop talking please, alright, have a great rest you Saturday. Remember if you have not yet listened to Benny Versus the Penny watched it on YouTube. Do that. Check it out. Get all the pics on the NFL games on Sunday, and we'll have another short podcast,

very short podcast on Sunday. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend and we'll catch you next time. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific