Stop 'n Go

a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, even on a Sunday. Sunday, What are we doing here this there's a day of rest, but it is the Fifth Hour Podcast. We thank you for finding it and being a loyal Minion and tuning in and downloading, subscribing the whole thing, the whole thing

here on the podcast platform. We do appreciate it. And in a spin off of the radio show, The Overnight Show, and clearly four hours each night not enough. Under the cover of darkness and The great thing about podcasting is it's on whenever you want it. You can listen in the middle of the night, or you can listen early in the morning on the sun's up. You can sit on the beach, you can sit by the lake, in the mountains, in the snow, and the sun doesn't matter.

And that's the beauty of podcasting. And this a mailbag podcast. Will mix in a wee bit we bit of pop quiz. But David Gascon is still here. He's not checked out there West of the four oh five. No, no, not at all. In fact, I have a fascinating story that was that was directed to me and I passed along to you. It makes me, it makes me thank our friend from from the Greater Lone Stars State of Texas. I'm a pilot um. The Chinese up to some interesting

stuff with our with our government. Did you hear about that? No? You want to you want to fill me in on this guest. Yes. Yes. Vice News actually reported this a few days ago. They said China. China's government is apologizing because it forced Joe Biden's staff to submit to anal COVID exams. Fifty members of Biden's staff. We're subject to anal uh penetration on one or more occasions from the Chinese Communist Party doctors. Well, you gotta really make sure

the COVID doesn't get up your asshole. What are we doing? Man? I remember I'm a pilots nice you know, journal of how he went from the United States to to the Orient. Yeah? Well is that now? Is that your favorite story? Because my favorite story this week was the Mr Potato Head story that that is my favorite? What the fuck man? You know it's a potato people or potato and Coca Cola oreos, Like, what the funk are we doing in the United States? Uh? Pretty wild, man, Pretty wild? Pretty

pretty wild. But let's get into this gascon we've got before we get through the mail bag. We've got pop quiz time is of the essence, as you know here time you're not because of me. I would sit here forever. But you, of course you claim you have things to do. We have no evidence that that is actually the case. But so when I work with you, it's like bobbing and weaving, bob and weave when I work with you. All right, so pop quiz. These are random things we

found around the internet that are interesting. I will ask gascon. But really I'm asking you. I'm asking you, as a consumer of the podcast, to play along in your head. You don't have to speak out loud if there's other people around. Most people listen by themselves. But if you want to give a give an answer. Boom perfect, All right, all right, here we go. Uh. Last month in the United States, there were about fourteen hundred of these every second,

four hundred of these every second. Can you give me a hand? This is so um. It's involving something that baby you have on your possession and I have on my position right now. Um, on every session that's loosely related to something that you have in your possession right now in your pocket. Maybe it's on the table in front of you. Drop my car keys. No, it's a spam phone calls? Yeah, hundred every second. Who the hell is still answering spam calls? I don't know. But we

got a boatload of those during the elections, did you not? No? I didn't not get as many. What Texas? Did you get spam Texas? Ohh yeah, Well I got the head there's a package we're trying to deliver to your residents, and they don't give your name, aim and all that. They don't say who you are or your address. It's all bullsh of people feel comfortable flirting here. Okay, that's the place that most people would say, Oh, that's kind of odd, But people apparently enjoy a little flirtation. Library,

no hospital. Now about to drive through? You ever gone to pick up a big mac and fries and been like that? That the young ladies pretty attractive. You might want to have some French fries with it, especially in and out, because you know, at least those workers they're getting well paid too. Everything being relative, of course, but yeah, yeah, so if you're hey, if you're a single, Now does it work for the guys too, or the ladies picking

up on the guys in the drive through? Or is it is only the creepy dudes picking up on the ladies? I don't know, Or is it all gender neutral people picking up? Come? Come on, kid, because I care um as myers used to say. But yeah, no, I was never good at picking up on anybody I did. I remember though, back in my big fast food days, there were some attractive ladies that worked at the fast food place drive through window. Oh yeah, I don't think it

mattered Jack in the box, Carlos Jr. In and out. Yeah, there's some. My favorite used to call them guess got back in the first round draft picks. There's some lottery picks. I don't know. I can maybe like second round picks. Yeah. I consider D one to be perfect tight, perfect weight. And they don't have that, they don't have that fat and then and they don't have that fat gene in them either, like you could tell the young ones like they will or they won't have that fat gene in

them when they hit thirty and forty. But those are the d ones, those are the ones you want to keep an eye on. But such as Schmuck, I see, I like a little more cushion for the pushing. So I'm not I'm good, not always, though I don't. I don't want like double wide you know, I don't want a double wide trailer. I don't like that. But you know, I'll be happy with a full size trailer. I'm I'm good for that couple wine trailer. Oh my gosh. All right. A new report claims the smell of this makes people

act more pleasantly towards one another. What is it, Perfumer cologne. It's coffee. Actually, wow, coffee. I've never had a cup of coffee. I don't mind the smell of coffee, but I don't it doesn't make me pleasant. People at coffee shops are just nice and mellow. And of families say they argue about this more than anything else. Right now, what is politics? Internet usage on the WiFi too much, You're playing too many video games on the internet, You're

watching too many movies et center. About of the Americans say this is their favorite thing about the winter. The attire. No, the snow, not snow related. It's the warm, fuzzy socks you wear. Okay, so was the tire. Yeah, Well, my my brother lives in New York. He's lived there for many, many years, and when I first went back to visit him, it was kind of the wintertime. He said, the most important thing, he said, listen to me. He said, you listen to me. Bad brother Joe, He said, you listen.

We you gonna have these socks, these wool socks. Al Right, it doesn't matter how cold is, you got these wool socks. You're good. And he was right. I mean, it's the socks of the key, keep your feet warm. You're good to go, yeah, we don't have to worry about that. And I don't know. I you get people in southern California, I'm talking about sixty seventy degrees. Females were in ugg boots. Wow. Yeah, I mean it's like fake California cold and it's I

don't well, it's all souls beyond me. Stereotype giscount. Then I'll stereotype that there's a lot of winter fashion that you cannot wear in California because it's not appropriate. So you then you try to morph it into fit. You know, as well, it's not Minnesota cold, but it's California cold, so I can wear this. Yeah, it's like the best is when you wear short shorts with ug boots, like I've seen females do that a lot. Oh yeah, yeah, Well,

well it's the stuff I see going to the grocery store. Uh. The percentage of people that go to the grocery store to get some eggs wearing pajamas fascinated to me. Oh my god, you're so lazy, amazy. Alright, Over half of all men say they would never want their mothers to see this. What is it um their photo gallery or their Texas now their Internet browsing, browsing browsing history. It's pretty much the same. Yeah, all right, the next one.

We're doing pop quiz here. The next one. What do of people say they do to help them concentrate when driving in really bad weather? Put two hands in the steering wheel. Uh? No, they pray, They pray, go to a higher power. Yeah. Have you ever been in such terrible weather that you just pulled over to the side of the road and said, that's it, I'm gonna check out for a little bit and wait for this to pass. No, never,

I have no. Well, actually that's not technically true. I was driving through from Buffalo down to in the middle of New York, from Buffalo down to New York City, um and and uh anyways, the weather was terribles, a big storm, like a lake driven storm, and I could not see. There was so much water on the road. I couldn't see in front or behind. I saw. I could barely see some some red lights like the cars were stopped. I literally stopped on the New York exp

Us Way because the rain was so horrific. I couldn't see anything. And I know you're not supposed to do that, but I I'm here to talk about it. So I survived. You know. Now, have you ever prayed while you're on a fight? Um? Yeah, you know with turbinus. Yeah, I've had so. Yeah, I don't know. I usually want to go on a flight I come to terms with I might not make it off the flight going in, I'm like, this could be the end, you know, Um hey, goodbye,

my weird ghoulish way of looking at that. So yeah, I would I go on the flat I think, well, this could be the end of it, you know, this would be the game over. But uh, yeah, when when I've only had turbans a few times where it's really nasty, I've never been on that, like like flight from Denver to Hawaii where the engine blew up. I've never been on something for four minutes in. Well, they're lucky it

was four minutes in and not over the Pacific. What are they gonna imagine if they were halfway to Hawaii from California and what do they do? Then? Yeah, I guess there are some islands out there we don't know about, but I'm pretty sure there's not runways from now a jumbo jet to land on out in the middle of the Pacific. Unbelievable. What I'm a pilot with. He probably

knows what they would do in that situation. Does water landing? Like? Uh, that guy's sunny, right, you should You should reach out to him panhandled for another hat to while you're at it. What's great hat by that's in the top five hats I've ever got to get the m on it's beautiful. You're jealous of the hat? The hat's wonderful. Yeah, it's great, all right. The average man uses two of these at home, but the average woman uses four. What is these at home? Yeah?

Two of these? Average woman uses four at home. Razor blades? Uh? No, yeah, one? Why not? Well, some guys no shave. Uh the answer is pillows. M hmm yeah, how many pillows to use? Four? Your so you're more like the more like the ladies. Well, I have two bigger pillows and I have two smaller ones. And then during the course of summertime, when it gets really hot and I wake up in the middle of the night, I have to grab the next closest and

coldest pillow the other side of the pillow. Yes, I'm a I love cooling pillows, but they don't last that long. So you do have to rotate them. And I I am more of the pillow fiend than the wife. I use pillows more. How many have I like to be surrounded by pillows? I have I know three four something. Back in the day before I was was married, I think I had like six pillows. I was like a six pillow guy. I surrounded myself with pillows. At any any point, I always had a pillow with you know,

you can just flip it over at any moment. All right, A few more of these all right up until the pandemic it was illegal to do this at work in France. What is it in France? Yes? Do do do do do do do dude, do do do do do do eat it I don't know, I don't know. All right here it is eat lunch at your desk. Dare not going to say that I said to eat, but that was too obvious, especially in France. You should do it.

I mean there's food in our keyboards at work. Yeah, no, I I understand, And a lot of it's from when me and Jason back in the day eating and it's still there. Those are the original keyboards and original computers are the entire stock of one million of these were amazingly sold in nine. Normally you have an item for sale, you don't sell all of them. But the entire stock of one million of these were sold in nine. What the fuck? It's a it's a toy. Do do Do

Do Do Do Do Do. It's a toy. Do do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do do silly putty tickle me Elmo, Tickle me Elmo. Not gonna guess that, all right, last one, then we'll get to the last one. Email bag. There are only twenty five of these in the world. Though they are often synonymous with major sporting events, there's only twenty five of them in the entire world. Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do do Um championship trophies. Uh No blimps. The famous good blimp over the Rose Bowls looking live

stationed here in Carson, California. That is right, but that is technically the air station is east of the four oh fim not west of the furrow from now east. Yeah, I don't think anyone representing Carson's gonna say west of the four or five. Get what I'm saying? Are you implying something. Guess, guy, would you like to spend on that? Well, we'll do in the next We'll do in the next podcast,

next next week. Okay, alright, mail bag. These are actual questions sent in by actual listeners, submitted via Facebook Ben Maller's show or The Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Alright, Pierre and Springfield mass right, since it's been what are the odds that Bo the show fills in on a more permanent basis on the podcast? The two of you had a great rapport and he provided that he actually he proved rather he actually listens to the show, and

that he relates to the callers. He also provided great feedback to your questions and had witty comebacks. Please let me know that's Pierre, It's Bringfield. Well, Pierre, listen. Bo was wonderful, as you point out there, just really relatable to the common man and tremendous. There a colossal, grandiose appearance by Bye both the show there and uh. I think we'll be hearing more from both the show, Thank God,

I think we'll be hearing more. I want to let Pierre know that, first of all, Bow is actually engaged. He's gonna get married soon. He is not available for you, So you can filatio somebody else if you'd like. But yeah, bow was taken. Sorry about that, move along, Ben Miller. Okay, interesting reaction there. Uh, this one's from Valls fan, Jimmy Valls fan Jimmy and Fayetteville, Tennessee has been Have you ever stayed at the Cecil Hotel and do you have

any plans? When they reopened in October, I didn't know they were reopening. I thought they were permanently closed. The see show now. For those who don't know, the Cecil Hotel is a legendary hotel on skid Row in l A where many people have met their demise. This goes back to like the twenties, like this old Hollywood, early l A history, Uh, where you know, people would commit suicide and they would be murder and it was horrible.

And they've done documentaries about this and they've been stories written about it, and uh, like a bunch of people have committed suicide there. There's like a curse on that hotel. I generally try to avoid that area. There is a pretty good French dip place not far away from the hotel Cecil that I will go to from time to time. And um, but that's that's about it. I mean it really,

I'm guessing it's different now. Last time I was there, actually I went to the World's coolest or oldest or whatever bookstore, biggest bookstore, and uh, it's right near skid Row, and skid Row had moved. Like there was a point of demarcation where like it was like you're in l A. It was downtown l A. It was kind of nice, and then you crossed the street and it's the hard scrabble streets and but yeah, the hotel's right right in that area. You you go down that area, guess you've

been to the hotel Cecil. You want me to book your room there. I have driven by their a handful of occasions, but I did because the chief used to work down there at Parker Center downtown l A. So yes, it is. It is fascinating the streets that you drive down and you don't want to drive down in l A. It is Uh, yeah, I did something pretty delicate. Especially, Yeah, the place that is Coals by the way, that's the

the French dip place. If you're in l A. It's right there on Sixth Street and just like a couple of steps away from there is the start of what what used to be the start of skid Row. Yeah, there's a speak easy attached to that too. Yeah, yeah, there's a speech is speakeasy. And that's a famous building. That building. Uh well, I'm I'm having a blank here, but that's that's a building where in the early days of l A. Um there's something something famous happened in

that build. I forget what, but I'm having a mental block here. You know, the Edison, the Edison Factory was a couple of blocks down to right. Uh yeah, I mean that was the that was the meat of downtown l A. That was the main point there. So isn't I think it's a main street? Is that the point of demarcation for skid Row? Is that? I think it is? Right? Yeah. If you go eastbound on on the ten Freeway, you get off on San Pedro Street and then you get to Maine and it's uh yeah, So it causes on

the coals. Is not that it really matters if you're not in California, l A. But Coles is on the corner of sixth Street and in Maine, which is right there. That's like the point, it all goes sideways. But I've never been to the c SO hoteling like I'm good on that. Chris and Iowa writes, and he says, if you could interview anyone in the world for your podcast, who would it be President Trump? For you? For sure? I'd put Trump on. Sure, Yeah, I put Trump on

because half the people would be freaked out. Elon Musk would be a lot of fun. Elon Musk would be good. Uh, you know, I just think Joe Rogan would be interesting. He does a bunch of podcast to Howard Stern. You know, so you can't have Russia on now, unfortunately, but you know some people I listened to back in the day on radio would be would be neat to have on. Do we need to up our game here? Chris and Iowa? Are you want to recommend some some bigger names here?

And you're not satisfied with the quality of the conversations we have on our Friday podcast? Can't in Colorado writes in on the mail Bag. He says, what kind of crazy world are we living in where a twenty two year old wannabe gets a fourteen year Mega deal and a Hall of Famer Johnny Bench has to not has to hawk his memorable here to pay bills. It's not happy with the Fernando Dutis Jr. Contract with the projects. Well, I can't listen. This is the way life works, right.

Uh you know, if if Johnny bench had been born and lived the same life, you know, years later, then he would be the one getting the three million dollar contract. But he wasn't, and he lived in a different ages. His salad days when a different age, and that's just how it works. So yeah, I mean it's it's actually fortunate that Johnny benchkin hawk his memorabilia and be able to pay his bills and all that. And Pete Rose still can sign a million autographs and the value of

Pete rose autograph isn't worth much because he signed everything. Uhmas. When I was a kid, there was a picture Hall of Fame picture Bob Feller, and Bob Feller was in Cleveland, Indians guy, and he would sign everything too, but only autograph shows. And so his autograph by the time he passed away was it was not worth much anything because he signed everything. Alright, Adrian in the Mile High City Rights and he says he's got a bunch of questions

he says, betting gascon. He says the Bow show was disgusting. He says, well, this is one of your guy's guest He says, listening to the Saturday Pop Quiz portion of the podcast, he was surprised that people wouldn't want to to share a sandwich. Yeah, if you cut said sandwich in half, Adrian says, I could understand sharing it, but he was talking about strategically biting around the already bitten part to share. That's gross. Yeah, I agree with you,

Adrian's pretty pretty disgusting. Uh. And then he says, my family and I had lunch at Ihop recently and we are now at fifty percent capacity in the Denver area. Inside the restaurant, there were signs at all the tables saying masks are required at all times unless you were actively eating or drinking. My wife and I thought that was ridiculous and kept our masks off during the entire meal. Your thoughts, I'm right there with you, Adrian. Yes, I

think it's the dumbest thing. Uh. There's a restaurant I've spent a lot of time in Orange County in Uh, there's a one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. My family used to go there as a kid, and I've been going there and uh, you know, they have the deal with you have to have your mask on. But it's like when you stand up, you're supposed to have your mask so you can sit down and I guess the the corona is no big deal and all, yeah, it's the rules are so so wonky on this. Not a

fan guest. Gun people are absolutely crushing Florida and it's it's phenomenal. It's laughable now because we had we had the big pandemonium about Alabama with their national title and people partying in Tuscaloosa, and the same thing with Florida, particular Tampa Bay with the Super Bowl and the Bucks winning it, and people are on the streets or people are on their boat parades and doing that stuff on

the water. And you look at cases of the coronavirus in Florida have decrease and they're even less than the state of California, in the state of New York, and they've actually had lockdowns. It is fucking laughable. And you know, obviously a lot of this is just driven by politics, but you crush the guys that you want you want, and you you celebrate the ones that are are drastically different, like a guy like Governor Cuomo. It's it's fucking a joke.

But you know, mean, other countries are doing things drastically different too, and they're still living life and the same breath. You look at politicians and celebrities, they don't do the same ship that are are are required of what the common folks are. So it's it's a big fucking joke. It's unfortunate, but that's the way it is. Yeah, no, listen, I agree. And the thing that I don't know if I worry about it, but I just like, how does

he how do we get out of it? Like so many political hacks are so invested in the mask and the restrictions, and it's like it's it's feeding their egos. So it's it. We do need places like Florida and in other places that are not run by the Mama Lukes who want to have all these restrictions. It's just insane. So I'm absolutely mean, how can you not pull for Florida? And it's so funny to go back and do a search on the Internet of all those stories the the

hack media. We're reporting, Oh my god, everyone's gonna on FLOORA. The governor should be put up on murder chargers in the world. Yeah, pearl clutching is what we call it, A lot of pearl clutching, A lot of faux outrage, faux outrage. S guys falling chicken, little chicken, little chicken, little this skuy is falling. Uh. Adrian also says, what are your thoughts on the Nolan Erinado trade? He says,

I am so angry. Adrian in the Mile High City says so angry with the Rockies front office and Dick and Charlie Montfort the owners, that I will not be a Rocky fan this season. Well, good job by you, Adrian, because this is the way I look at this. A real fan. You want to be a fan who is loyal, but you don't want to be loyal to a fault.

You should be a discerning customer. And if the team's not trying to win, if the team's not putting an effort to put a good baseball team on the field, what the hell are you gonna pay attention to it? He says he's gonna be a fan of Doc Mike's team. The North Side team in Chicago. He says, they're gonna be my my second favorite team there. He's gonna follow. It wouldn't be bad if he was a Chicago White Sox fan either. They should have a pretty good run

this year. Yeah, one of the darlings of the baseball world. In one uh, he says, Gascot, what are the Broncos chances of landing DeShawn Watson? Fuck? Danver would have to trade the farm, but I think they should do it. Yeah, I think they should too. I mean, the last time they've actually hit on a quarterback was Manning, and he was a free agent obviously at that time. But they've they've swung and miss since Manning, and they swung and

missed for a while since Elway retired. I mean, the last good quarterback they had prior to Manning, I think was Jake Plummer, and even him, he didn't get that good of a run and Shannon benched him for for Jake Cutler. I'd I'd mortgage the farm for a guy like Deshaun Watson. I know you're not a big Watson fan, but I take Wats off. He's can't even handle Twitter. I'd take Watson. I'd take Watson. The overdrew Lock ten times with a ten times, so, you know, and they

got problems everywhere. But the quarterbacks that you ation kinda fixes a lot of those things. So necessarily the Texans won four games and they had to Shaun Watson. So I don't know how it fixes a lot of things. Yeah, but it wasn't the offense that was the problem. Where defense was got off a lot of empty stats there, my man, I called for the zombie stats. I know, I completely agree, but at least you could pole those up. Drew Lock can't even do that, right. He's good for

one or two really good games a year. It was against Carolina. He looked like John Elway did. Yeah, he looked amazing, look like a world beater. Yeah. Then he went back to being It looks more like Mark Wilson. After at the old Raider quarter. There's an outdated reference, last one from Madre and he says, Ben, please tell me the story of you almost trampling Casey Cayson in the hallway at Fox Sports Radio. Yeah, Adrian, I can tell you the truncated version of that. So this is

many many years ago. Obviously, Casey Cayson passed away a number of years ago, Casey Kyson was the one of the voice actors on Scooby Dooby Doo. He was was Shaggy, right, he was Shaggy on Scooby Doo. Think he did Transformers too. Yeah, I did a bunch of stuff and he he hosted. He was a big part of American pop culture. He hosted Casey Cason Countdown Show, which was syndicated on thousands

of radio stations across the country. He's a legend in my business, in our business, and uh and so anyway, Casey, we work out of the premier networks in l A and Fox Sports Radio's main studio right across the hall was the Casey case In Voice Studio, where Casey Cason would go in a little booth and you know, not much of anything, and he would sit in there and he would voice scripts for the countdown and and do his thing. And so in the early days of Fox Sports Radio, I did a lot of ships. I was

a utility guy. I worked weekends, but then I'd fill in during the week and I had one stretch where for like six months I was doing the show during the mid days with Chris Myers, the big TV guy from Fox. I kid because I care, uh Chris Meyers. So anyway, I was doing the show with him, and you know, I was a pretty big guy at the time. I'm still a big guy, but I was much bigger than And there's a lunchtime show and I we were eating whatever, and I had to go to the bathroom.

So I went down the bathroom and and as I remember the story, and the stories evolved over the years, but this is I remember it today, Adrian. So I was in the bathroom. It's getting close to the show coming back. I get out of the bathroom. I'd washed my hands. I get out of the bathroom, and then I hear the music like we're coming back, you know, because it was on the speakers in the hallway. And so then I start freaking out. I'm like, oh my god, I'm not gonna be there. They're back on the year

Myers is gonna be on there. I need to be there with Myers. I'm out of the show. I gotta be in there. So I start running down this hallway, right, I run down the hall to try to get into the to the studio so I don't miss any of the show. So I it takes me a while to build up some some you know speed. So I'm running down the hallway. Then I have to make a quick left, and then there's a weird quarter. There's like an intersection corner um with another hallway. So I make a left,

and then I've got to make a quick right. All right, somebody left and the right. And then as as I'm making the left and turning right, and I'm I'm right near the studio door, a very petite, very small, very fragile, very um. You know, I don't want to right right. Fragile is the right word. Casey Casum has come out of his little radio booth where he's doing voiceovers. He then it's time slowed down, because I'm going at a fit at pretty fair rate of speed. I've almost at

my destination. Casey comes out of the door. He's standing in the hallway, and he freezes and gives me this look like, oh my god, I'm about to meet my maker. Oh my god, I am going to die by being trampled by this wildebeest. Uh and uh, it was. It was that kind of thing. And but fortunately I used a swim technique that I learned in high school football.

I used the swim technique, and I was able to move around Casey Casum to avoid not only his premature demise, but my demise is I would have never worked in radio again if I had taken out the Great Casey Caseum. So I saved my career, and I saved at least for a few years, because I know he passed away several years after that, the Great Casey Caseum, And it

was cool. He used to show up to the premiere parties, the big premiere radio networks parties that we had back in the day, and I got to meet him a few times, and he was he was a cool guy, legend in the business. Casey case Um. I know he's alleged and my parents listened to him when they were, you know, kids and stuff. So you know, you've been around the block a few times when your parents would listen to somebody on the radio that was that was

pretty cool. John in Shoreline, Washington rights and he says the furthest you've driven in one day. He says he made it from Sea Adult to Bakersfield seventeen hours last Friday. Well, that is impressive. Impressive. John's all downhill right from the north of something the furthest I've driven in one day. I've done the San Francisco l A thing a bit. I've done Sacramento, l A. I've done Phoenix, l A. I think that's about it. I'm not and my brother went to Salt Lake in a day. I've not done that.

What about you, guess? Yeah, I've gone San Diego to Sacramento, San Francisco. Uh, gone to Arizona from l A. And that's not too long. Probably the fucking longest I've ever had though, not distance wise but time wise, was l A to Las Vegas coming back from that on a Memorial Day weekend on a Monday. And that's a rookie mistake by you, guess. No, I did kie mistake. I did it in the evening time, and it took me

ten fucking hours. It's normally a four and a half hour drive from Vegas to l A or back, and it took me ten hours. You're better off just going to like Prim. I was going to Prim and sitting there at Buffalo Bills and having a McDonald's and a beer. That's it. Go to the little mall there and Prim which as all the outlet shops. Yeah, that's it John the jailer from Alan Town. P A right, so, and he says, been on the Mallard scale one to ten.

How excited are you that, Bobby Schmoodra Schmurdra. Is that how you're saying is out of prison? Funk? Is that? Apparently this guy is a Brooklyn rapper? I guess he was in jail for six years. I don't know who you've never have you heard of that? Never heard of him? I have no idea who that is. Rita writes in she says, I heard you say you listen to to Art Bell back in the day. What story do you remember most about Art? Oh? I love dark the great thing.

And it's really the gift that separates people on radio that are the top people. I'm trying to get to that point storytelling and and and the other thing is Art could make the most boring, benign topic fascinating. And he would put people on his show that most other people, most reasonable people would say, this person is a space cadet, what are you doing? And and Art would listen. And this was the gift. He would listen to these people, right,

who are a cuckoo for cocoa puffs? And you know he wouldn't mock and ridicule them, and he would listen. And I remember when he would have the Hollow Earth people on, which is ironic because I've had interactions with the Hollow Earth people from doing the Overnight show at Fox, and when we were talking about Kyrie and the flat Earth, I had some Hollow Earth people call up who still send me propaganda. Um so that. I also remember meeting Art,

I got I had a good fortune. Art lived in Nevada, did the show from Peumpt, Nevada, famously the Kingdom of nai You know, I called it the Kingdom of Nine because it was in nig County. I guess was the county he broadcast from. So he says, the Kingdom of Naie. But but Art was were you a listener, by the way, did you listen to it? To Art bell to do? I did not know. Yeah, that was his catch, the Kingdom of Nine, and uh yeah, I loved Coast to Coast and it was yeah, he was from Ni County.

Then shows from Ni County, Nevada. But but Art, they dragged him out to Los Angeles for the premier Christmas parties and it was he was at one at the the Beverly Hills. Which hotel was it the Hilton? Is that the one with the Beverly Hills Hotel? It might have been the Yeah, we had one there. There were two, two different hotels in Beverly Hills. We had Christmas parties that but anyway, they brought in all the big premiere stars and and Art was there and I briefly met him,

which was pretty cool. As a radio nerd, that was pretty neat. But I just remember listening to Art and I uh and the big Art thing was before two thousand, the y two K, which everyone thought all the computers in the world, we're gonna shut down because we're flipping from the ear two thousand and Art did so many shows about that and then like nothing happened, nothing, nothing happened. Um. So it was just some of the things that I remember about Art. But the just a legend, just a

gift to the overnights, to the nocturnal crowd. Man. I fell in love with Art. My parents listen to R Belt. My parents are night people and they would listen to Art, and then I listen. I know, George does a great job to on coast to coast and It's pretty cool because George does the show. He doesn't show from St. Louis some of the year, but he's out of our building. And I would park next to George nor from time

to time and and I meet meet him. And I remember one time, the original the original Fox Sports Radio studios were right across the hall from Coast to Coast from there from their studio, and then we moved downstairs to our showcase studios, which were showcased twenty years ago, and but we they were renovating those a couple of years back, so we had to go back to the original Fox Sports Radio studios, and we were invading coast

to coast is space. So we were getting like the aside I from the coast to coast guys like, what's going on here? What are you? What are you doing? They're still renomending air by the way, never ending the renovation and never end the renovation. Now IOWA made Day from West the more rights. And he says, are you a user of Mr Doc Mike's You're in mouthwash? I am not. But guestcon is guestcon you want to give a review of that? Didn't he say that he was

gonna mail you some or mail you a book. Right now, he's mailed me. I have a whole stack of books. I have right next to me. Here is Healing Water from Within. Brothers say, we have that, uh, fascinating book. And my favorite part of the book is they're going to detail how you can use you're in as an eye wash. You can use it as eye wash. I think that's a form of pornography. People and enjoy that. But it's a whole book about this. It's it's amazing, mouthwash,

eye wash, you name it. Fascinating. Big Mike from Courtland, New York, the Crown City says, Ben, do you have any hot mic stories? Did you do it or have you witnessed one? Of course, we have tons of stories. The one I will I will share with you right now because it's in my head. When I was doing the Blitz with Looney and we were doing the show, doing our thing, you know whatever on Sundays for it was like a seven hour situation, just went on and on and on and on, breaking down football games and

it was the never ending thing. And um, but me and Looney we like to talk shop, you know. They talked about the gossip of the radio station or the radio business in general, and we do that during the commercial breaks, and not that we ever break, so we would just be talking and uh so we are in mid conversation and we are just just char boiling someone

in radio that we were talking about. There was a big story this person was involved in and uh in our our engineer, uh, the great Steve Stillwell, i'll say

his name. I don't think you'll mind. So he walks down to get a beverage and then he proceeds to to walk back, right, proceeds to walk back in a panic, and he's waving his hands frantically outside the glass window because apparently he had forgotten to turn the mics down, and the mics were on the entire time, and everything we were saying was being broadcast, but there were commercials playing, so you you couldn't really hear everything, but you know,

if you were listening intently, you could hear it. Right. Fuck, yeah, isn't that wild man? It was unfortunate, Yeah, it was. It was the person you were talking about. Move that to another podcast down the line, Will in Springfield, right City says, what's everyone's death? Row Meal? I need specific plays for the chicken fingers Bend by the way. Well, there's two places. It's obviously raising canes, which is the Gold Standards, and also the Landing in Liberty, Missouri, the

home of the Ben Mall chicken fingers. All our listeners in Kansas City, Missouri, Kansas, all over that area within driving distance. Uh. The the only place in the United States you can get the Ben Mather chicken fingers is at the Landing. I want to point Outcast Gun. They are actually a sponsor of my weekly radio segment in Canah City. Yeah, every Thursday morning I go on with Bob Fesco and Josh and the guys there and we we uh schmooze what we do? What would be your

final meal? I don't know, but I think, no matter what, you have to have French fries with your last meal. Right. Yeah, Well it wasn't the joke. Uh you know, the guy from the warden comes in and says, all right, it's your final meal. What do you want? He said? And then and then you say, well, what are you out of good? Uh? Yes, yes, uh yeah you would obviously. The joke is you want a multi course meal to seven course meal? Yeah? Like yeah, I like to stretch

that out over a couple of days. You know, meal today, meal tomorrow, meal the next day. You know, kind of milk that a little bit? Yeah? Uh, Fats from Philadelphia got time for a few more. Fats from Philadelphia says, when the this pandemic is over, would you be willing to travel east to the Suskakwanna River as how you say it? I think I said it right now. I did not uh to participate in a mallard Man marsh in Philadelphia, he says, Then also have a mini one

in Amish country. Fats says, we can have you on an Amish buggy. Can make this happen guyrol Tate, Oh yeah, Fats, I would love that. I would. Now do you think we have a big enough reach in the greater Philadelphia? We've only been on there for a relatively short amount of time on the Gambler Philadelphia. I think if you make, if you make an appearance, I think if you want to bump that number up, you should have a special guest on Tony Bruno. Oh, Tony is the king of Philadelphia.

There go. I think that would definitely. But I'm saying if I just made an appearance, it wasn't on the radio. Like I know, we have a lot of listeners in New Jersey. Um, which is you know, could be northern New Jersey not southern New jery Zy. But yeah, if we had enough, I would love to do it. Um. I'd be great to hang out with Fats, that guy. Fats as a character, like to hang out with that guy. He's a party. Hey the guy lights himself on fire,

screaming my name? Who does that? He does that? That's who does that? My god, unbelievable. Mike in Vegas, right, since says, besides the Dodgers, who do you think so legitimate contended to win the World Series? The Commissioners Trophy a k a. The hunk of Metal? Mike, Uh, Well, I this to me is pretty simple. On my big board, I have the three teams in the National League. If you it's like that old thing we used to do with Tiger, uh where either you know Tiger or the field.

If you give me six teams and you take everyone else, I'll take those six teams and I will I will have the World Series winner. My six teams are the Dodgers, Padres, and Braves in the National League, Yankees, White Sox and Blue Jays. In the American League, you can have everyone else. I'll take those six teams. One of those six teams is gonna win the World Series. What say you? I'm right there with you. I think you agree with I think in the National Leage, especially the Dodgers and the Padres,

maybe pushed back a little bit on the Braves. I mean, I know Kuna is a monster, but outside of that, on the American link side, I think it's the Yankees. I'll be curious to see what happens with the Tampa Bay Rays. I know losing Blakes now is gonna hurt them a little bit, but I still think they have Yeah, the Rays are always like they're always pretty good because they do things an odd way. But the Marlins or

not the mine that the the the Atlanta Braves. I'm telling you, the Braves are gonna be right there again. I am all about that action. Yeah, it sounds like you are. I hate to say that, but my friend, the great Jerome Drettovitch, we should get Jerome drenov sean in Atlanta. He does unless I heard he was doing Braves games they did. Add not that I like him because he's a cheating astro. But they added Charlie Morton,

he's their number two starter. They got Max Freed, right, I think that's the number one and uh and and you know they've got a decent rotation, A decent rotation, not a great rotation. A little top heavy there with Morton and Freed the top two guys. But the lineup with Acuna and Freddie Freeman and Marcelo Zuna is back, and Ozzy Albie is a pretty good ball player. That's not That's not I hate to give the the Bravos credit.

That's pretty good team. I don't think they I don't think they changed anybody in the line I think the line up is the same lineup they had last year. I think, yeah. I mean they've been on the com for the last couple of years anyway, so you expect them to go a little bit deeper into the Fall

Classic anyway. Yeah. And they're bullpens okay, and it's I don't know if it's the greatest bullpen in the world, but yeah, So I get the Braves on that list and other other than that, I don't think there's anyone else other than those six teams you can go Oakland A's. Oakland A's will be good for like some amazing stretch run and people start talking about them, and then they'll just flame out the tail end or in the playoffs.

I'm not putting the cheating Astros on that list. Did a bad record last season, and they'll be much better this year. Angels on their last last run with one fat Albert Albert Pools win one for fat Albert. Yeah, I'm gonna go no on that. Yeah, I'm gonna go know on that. Yeah, I think we're good on that. I think that's that's it. We'll put the the baby to bed. So we didn't get to your question. I

apologize also, I apologize for not getting that out. I usually put this up on Wednesday morning, but I had a brain fart and I didn't put this up on Facebook until very late Wednesday night. So thank you guys for answering the bugle call to fill the mail bag. Otherwise we would have had no mail bag and we would have just tap danced. Here, we would tap dance. So listen, big night tonight. Benny's are tonight. We're gonna wear our tuxedos, are gonna dress up. We're gonna walk

down the Red Carpet. Big Parte Virtual Party on the Radio will give out all kinds of awards sell lebrating mediocrity in marginal overnight sports radio. If you have not voted yet, please I stressed. Go to my Twitter feed. Scroll down, page down, page down, scroll down. Vote for the Twitter Awards. Also vote for all the other Bennies for great moments on the show and whatnot. The big

contributors have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you again for supporting the podcast, subscribing to the podcast, and listening every weekend. Otherwise we'd been a whole lot of trouble and that we'll catch you next time. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m. Pacific.