Rotten Varmint

Magic podcast Box. We actually live in your device that you were listening to the podcast. We are in the air everywhere. This our Saturday podcast. You already figured that one out, and we do it eight days a week. You want to thank the great Peter Brown who joined us yesterday, one of my favorite talk show host. I love Peter. I know his phone sucked, but it was great hearing him and love to get him on again.

Be and Peter should be working somewhere. I would love to see him do a show somewhere because I would I would listen because Peter is good. He is good at radio. We are joined yet again by someone who would love to be at the level Peter Brown was at David Gascon, who's right over there, and he's making his way to the microphone. Here, I am, I'm here. After that nice, pleasant introduction, I really appreciate. Well, what was wrong with that? And that was a fine introduction,

But it's not shitty you are? I mean, full disclosure, full disclosure. So we were going back and forth, and I told you Guesstcon, I said, just for you listening. I told Guesscon, I said, listen, I got a big name guest for this week. And then I told you who it was, and you then read me the riot act. I don't know who it is. Guy. You were so uneducated on Peter Brown. It's a bad job by you. You wanted to put some political guy on. What's up with that? I I didn't know who we were going

to chat with today. I told you, and then you were all flustered. Well, I know, I wasn't flustered. I didn't know who he was. Well that's what I'm saying. I mean, this is a bad job by you. You work in radio. You work in radio, you should know the legends of the business. But that doesn't count. I didn't know who Mike North was before I got to Fox. I didn't know who you were until I got to Fox. See, that's a bad job by you, because I that's we're different that way. Like I always want to know in

my profession, who were the top people? Who do I need to aspire to be and be better than you? This is about it. This is about ambition. You are, you were, I'm paid. This is a blacking ambition, bad job by you. That is the case that I could go through. Vince Gully, Bob Miller, Al Michaels, Harry Callis, Jack Buck, Joe Buck. Oh, so you don't want to be a talk show, you want to be in radio, you want to be a play by play. Those are the people I listened to when I was growing up.

I didn't listen to sports talk radio on the regular. It was mostly listen to live live games. It's crazy, man, Wait, why is that crazy? Because you you should know who the top people are. But as you guys had mentioned when you guys were talking the other day, he was doing local radio. I didn't know Peter at a local level. He was in what Wisconsin, Chicago? There was in Philly, Chicago, stuff in Wisconsin at the end in Milwaukee. I mean the same thing with Mike. Mike was in Chicago. Well listen,

I I didn't. I didn't. It was hard back in those days. It was so hard. It was so hard to hear these people. But there were ways you could listen, even before the internet really took off. And now you can listen to any radio show you want in any point, at any point in time, every local show, every national show. It's all streaming and it's available to you. It's at your your your tips. But it wasn't like that, but there were still ways you could listen. You had to

work for it. But I always wanted to. I always wanted to hear the top people because I wanted to be one of those people, and so I wanted to hear what they sounded like. And then, uh, you know, not that you copy those people, but you take what you know you heard and then you make it your own, right, and that I listened to a different, different crowd. Yeah, play by play though you're still you're not giving up

that dream play by play, you're all about it. Well, I mean I'm covering several different platforms across uh fair, So so what would you why don't you. Why don't you go to what's the some college town and do play by play and just live in a small college town and do that and be the voice of a university. Well, it's a little challenging to do that when I've done it regionally here in Los Angeles and San Diego for networks like Fox and ESPN. Yeah, so no, I understand,

But you could be like the big fish. I don't want to in a small pond. I don't want to do that. When you don't want to be a big fish, you'd rather be a small fish in a big pond. No, it's not that, but there's a there's a happy medium. There's plenty of guys that are working at the regional level that aren't I don't want to say a plus material, but they're still getting work, you know. And I mean, what are we doing another high school football game? Disco?

I don't know if I want to have you back after you just decided to like shout on my face because my my well, I was just trying. I'm giving you. Listen, I am giving you positive no, no, no tough love. That's old school. I know you can handle. I know there's no confusion, and there's no there's no dishonored to that. And I'm giving a constructive criticism. That's not constructive criticism. If you want to give me a constructive criticism, you would you would listen to you what I say on

air and say that was good, that was bad. I would have said this differently. That's a great approach. All right, listen. So you want me to be like you want me to be a consultant, I am willing to be a consultant. Pay me. I will be a consultant. Small baby kit, so you can be a big fish and a small party. I'm the guy who told you to go to West Virginia did and China and China, Yes, guess got for those are like David would text me like, hey, I

got this opportunity in West Virginia. You know. They'd send me a picture of the city and it was like all shacks and you know, just a bunch of hillbillies and and all that. So no, no, you should go. You should go and do it and make it your own and all that, and wish you didn't do it. Then you got offered some job at working Communist China, and I said go to China. Come on, it's cheap to live there. It's a big you know, that's a

big market. It's the biggest market in the world, China, and more people live there than anywhere you can go there. And it was an American voyages. We weren't gonna speak Chinese, you were gonna speak English, but you'd be on television there and you turned that down. Also, bad job by you. Yeah, and while I've done that, I have I have kind of morphed. So you've You've led me down two bad paths and I can no. I have no no, no, no no no no no no, no, no no, And

I have not let you down too bad. Pass. That's a lie. It's a lie. Don't be an alarmed don't be an alarmist. Yeah, you advised me to take some some bad paths. How about what did I advise you to take? You told me to take Bluefin West Virginia. What's wrong with this? Good people in Bluefin West Virginia would have been under a contract for two years that I couldn't buy out. Two years is nothing. Two years

is nothing paid eleven dollars an hour. That's pretty bad. Um. And then well, in West Virginia, you'd be the third richest guy in blue whatever town that was in western Bluefin? Are you sure it was Bluefin? Yeah, I'm like it was. I think that's a type of tuna. I think that's it. I don't know that that's a city in West Virginia, but maybe it is. So yeah that you told me to do that, and then you told me to go to the People's Republic of Communists. You know you're a

communist anyway, she'd fit in very well over there. No, no, not at all. Well, you believe in draconian things like what what's that? Like? What? Well, you're very abrasive with me, Like I I have to be abrasive with your oppressive You're an old dog, You're a ruthless you don't like to move off your rock. You're you're stuck on that rock. You're about to going to rant about how great you are. I put you on camera. I made you digitally, aesthetically

a please appeasing. Um. You know, there's some things that we've we've done for you. We've we've shaped your we've shaped you around a little bit. I have not made a dollar more since I met you, not a dollar more. Not a dollar dollar? Why would you know that you have not helped me the bottom line of paying my bills, not a dollar, because I have been paid some pennies no pun intended on this podcast. Therefore, I do know

that you have been paid. No, no, it's it's not what I I have got a little bit, but it's not because of you. It's because of my hard work. Okay, well, I mean I'm carrying you on my back here. I'm gonna be the hunchback of Notre Dame when I get done here. My god, tyranny is what it is. Absolutely, I gotta hear you talk about West of the four or five bull crap and all that every single time. Nonsense. Now I gotta do this damn benny versus a penny on the YouTube. All right, we gotta move it over

to the YouTube. And I'm not getting paid for that. Nothing from that coming out there, And subscribers are coming, advertisers are coming, so we're pushing on that. By the way, so that you did mention west of the four or five, I got a lovely compliment the other day on some seried I he tune I made and your wife adored what I could absolutely, she was just being polite. She's

a polite person. She's a nice person. That's she's got etiquette, she's got decore um, she's following social norms, is what she's doing. Gave me constructive criticism and feedback and said it was magnificent. I wish Ben cooked like that. She was just being kind And you see, you are such a dummy. You think that was an honest compliment. That was not an honest compliment. Thought it was polite, eloquent in distinct. Yeah, don't you know? My wife loves the

Mallard cookie when I make. Now, she's got this fugazzy gluten free diet, so she doesn't like a lot of the things. She can't eat what I eat because I'm a gluten guy. I'm a I'm a rebel with not eat ice cream. Then she does, but it's a special, fugaysy type of right exactly, That's what I'm saying. Every once in a while, I still have like a weekend where she'll eat gluten and it's like living arge. She's acting correctly at that time, but it's pretty disciplined with

the diet. So anyway, coming up on today's podcast, giscount. We've got uh geeking out, we got geeking out critters and varmits and endorsement alright, so which of those do you want to And we also have of course a bunch of pop quiz questions, which I love. Well. Speaking of endorsement, this is a good time to remind everybody that they, if they have not done so already, that they gotta go on YouTube. You can do a search on Benny versus the Penny, because we got week number

four your picks on YouTube. You can subscribe, you can download the podcast or given the the YouTube video, you can download that actually, um and watch it. You got one game that we have to have postponing between the Steelers and Titans. But outside of that, you've got a full array of games that you're picking. Yeah. Yeah, And even if you're not a gambler, and I realize a lot of people aren't gamblers, it's still we're handicapping the game.

We're breaking the game down, what we think is gonna happen, storylines, those kind of things. So it's if you're a football fan, you don't have to be a degenerate gambler like us, but you can still listen and enjoy and maybe you'll learn something and you'll kill an hour of time and be mildly entertaining, not gonna it's not gonna be murderous. I don't think. I don't think it'll be a laborers situation.

I'm think it gonna be strenuous, especially because we will not be talking Broncos and Jets at all during that, So that your guys, your guys there, the dever Broncos, your team, and the Jets with the great Adam gazz or is he still the coach of the Jets. Who the hell? Anyways? Yeah, let's go to uh, let's go to endorsement, all right, endorsement. So I want to thank a random guy in Denver, random guy in difference. I get this message during the week, um from someone I

kind of recognize. I kind of recognize, but I wasn't really familiar. And I was like, how do I know this? You know, you know, how you get a message something, You're like, how do I know that person? Yeah? Right, I don't really know and uh, and then I put it together and so this this a woman who I dated years ago, right, and uh, it was kind of blew me off, wasn't that nice, that kind of you, and it didn't work. It was good for a while, but it didn't work out, you know, as all these

things go. So she sends me a message's living in Denver now, right, let's just living all She's living in Denver, now, send me a message. She's like, hey, I went on a date. I just want to let you know I went on a date with this guy. She's still single whatever, she want to date with this guy. And she said, you know, we started talking about sports, and you know, she's a sports fan. And so he says, hey, I I listened to podcast. Then the conversation was like, what

podcast do you listen to? Whatever? That kind of and so the guys like listening these podcasts that to listen to and he named my podcast this podcast the fifth hour in the Ben Mallor Show podcast and uh. And so she's like, I can't believe. How does that guy know who you are? You're not kind of like, oh my god, I want to that's what we're looking for now. That was awkward because as someone I knew back in the day, but I do appreciate that I don't know who that I don't know who that guy is. But

thank you. And that's the kind of advertising we're looking for, guest, We're looking for word of mouth advertising. Hanging out at a seed biker bar with your friends and having a couple of drinks and then figuring that out. That's that's that's cool, So thank you for that. Now, if we can get that random guy in Denver to have his date listen to the podcast, that'd be better. And uh, I think that'd be really a fruitful thing for me.

And concerned the fact that most of your female listeners come here for me, I think that's again you think this. You have this neuroses. Boy, did you get burned in last and last? Not this week, but last week's YouTube video for Benny versus p If you're watching live or on tape, guestcon start complaining, starts like a cry baby. Right, it's wine time. He's he's having a temper tantrum. I saw the numbers. You know he's having this hissy fit.

There's no women, it's only men. You know he's making he's acting like the pampered West of the four oh five toddler being denied a toy at nap time. Uh, he's acting like that and toy flying off the hand. So then within the span of like a couple of minutes, all these women start sending messages in I'm here, I'm watching with my you know, husband, or I'm watching with my boyfriend or whatever, and you you got completely buried gascon.

One second you're here, you're belly aching, you're criticizing, you're denouncing the Mallew militia as a bunch of deplorable dudes with no women. You're grumbling, and then bam, the ladies, the the female wing, the estrogen wing, and the malle Militia came out. And these ladies were throwing haymakers. They were kicking you in the nuts. And I love every step of it. Was great, it was it was a

little humbling. I I might add to that. I was proud to see that when I looked at some of the numbers that the females did crack the analytics portion. And so we have a whopping two and a half percent of the of the general public that watch the YouTube videos are now females. So we put a little debt in that because that's what it was. It was twenty five to forty four years of age, and the demographics and It was all men until last week, and

then all of a sudden, females started showing up. Spoiler alert, smoiler alert. The sports talk radio format, guest Guns of Education for you is a male driven format. That's the reason exists. It exists for dudes. It is the last bastion, the last frontier, the last place for men to be men and talk about balls. Right, No, but women love balls. Uh So, I guess I don't know any anyway, So thank you for the endorsement, and you should be downloading them.

The YouTube thing. If you don't, you can't watch it live. You can't watch it live. You can still listen to it whenever. That's a great thing about the internet. All right, So we've got geeking out creatures, creatures or creators and varmints. Which one do you want? Let's go. Let's go geeking out, all right, geeking out? So I mentioned this on the radio show briefly, but I had a radio nerd moment.

I had a radio nerd moment. Upgrading another, yet another upgrade from this, this remote studio, which I call Cassablanca, the remote studio, better equipment, top notch, all the way. Good location, location, location, location, the commute is very good. Uh, And so we have upgraded here the advertising because the company has me do these YouTube videos. Some of them have become We had one that one viral this week, which was pretty cool. That was fun to be part

of a viral YouTube video. But we have now a mic flag. Now, if you're not in radio, it's probably like, who the hell cares about a mic flag? Big whoopie damn do. But when you're working radio and you have a mic flag, this is like a special geeky thing. So we have now from this point forward, when the videos go up, the YouTube videos, you will see uh, you will see the mic fluck and it's gonna make

all the difference in the world. This is gonna this is gonna cause my salary to skyrocket, the listenership is gonna go up. It's going to be amazing. It is going to be amazing. So I geeked out. I was very excited. I sent some photos out on Instagram and Facebook. If you miss those, you can go back and scroll down and see them and click on them. And it's a beautiful looking mic flog. It's a good look at thing. Not really impressed, but it's fine. Well, let's see your

mic flag about that. We'll do my mic flag versus your mic flag. Will have a pissing contest about that. I don't need a mic flag. I got my tie, I got my nice press dress shirt, I got my vest. That good stuff. People look at the people, look at the whole wardrobe. They don't look at the mic flag I like you do with the mic flag anyway, what's wrong with the mic flag? I don't know. Why are you triggered by the mic flog? It's a beautiful looking mic flag. How did the mic flag cause you any

heartache other than making you look smaller than me? You are like a Saudi prince with all the gear that you have in Saudi prince what it is? I don't know if people understand how much equipment you have. They're all paid for by the company. No, no, that again again, Yes, Scott, you keep spreading this lie. Uh this studio is I'd call it smoke show. It's beautiful. But here's the thing I this was. I'm a self made man. I'm east of the four oh five. I got a call from

w E. I'm Boston. Uh. They they've been very good to me. That radio station over the years, and they asked me, they said, hey, can you do some shows and we'd like to. You know, you can do it remotely. You don't have to move to Boston. You can do it remotely from l A. I know you're working at Fox.

I said yes. So then we went back and forth and I decided and and at that time I was doing stuff in New z Land on Radio Sport in New Zealand, so I was doing a lot of extra work on the side, and so I said, I gotta put a studio in here. That was back we had an I S D N line. Now we don't use we have the newest technology. But I went out and I pieced it together and I got, uh, let's see the one to three four pieces of equipment actually five six,

there's six pieces of equipment in here. And put it together and I brought in my guy, Jake Warner, stay awake with Jake to do some of the wiring because I had the wire in a little off um and that was it. And so but I I paid for all of the guests, got what radio company I Cowherd could get a studio built at his house, and paid for the overnight guy, not not gonna happen. It's just the way it is. Guest, you got the mic flags, so you you can weigh that fucking thing around and

be happy about it. That's the one thing you didn't pay for obviously then right well, no, the mike flags right there, it's part of the package. It's part of the deal. I got the banner behind me now, the official banner. It's good looking good. Why didn't you get me a benny versus the penny banner? I could have put that up. Bad job by you? Why would I do that marketing advertising? I'm everything I'm doing, I'm doing pro bono. I'm doing for the greater good, for the

greater that would be for the greater good. We'd see the background. They said, this is a professional show. Like I can't go, I can't go into more debt for you, like I need? What do they say? What do they say on a tease? How about a payoff? What the fun is? You know? Debt payoff? Guest, con debt is not really reality? You know why? Because I could die and I'm not. Yes, the moment you die, your debt goes to zero. You no longer have a debt. That's not true. Really, how is that not true? How can

you pay off your debts when you're dead? Well know someone will have to pay it off for you. So yeah, not necessarily. Not necessarily to say that you think these politicians are worried about the U. S. National debt, for example, I'm not. Yeah, you think anyone says, maybe we shouldn't spend that money because we don't want to have it, and you think they ever ever? No, of course not. It's just a bullshit number that they have. And you know, there's that website was a US Debt clock dot org.

And you can keep tracking. Your head will spin. What it's What is the U? S? National That it's trillion? Is that what it is? Or billion? Or is it billion or trillion? Probably trillion. I'll be curious to see what happens with us in the United States and in China after COVID is uh long gon since But by by the way, I just clicked on the US Debt clock dot org. Oh my god, the numbers are so just spinning out of control. I'm gonna I'm gonna have some kind of uh some kind of reaction here, Yes,

and I might I gotta click off this year. This is crazy. Now do you ever click on the doomsday clock? I thought we already reached that this year, didn't we already reached doomsday? Isn't this doomsday? Were living in doomsday? It's not that bad. Yeah. No, we're supposed to have don't forget. We're supposed to have an asteroid hit planet Earth just before the election. Alright, it'll be good. Yeah, well, I know. I what is the doomsday clock website? I'll

go on it right now. Is it uh? Def con level? Does it? Defcon levels? Says? We are at eleven? About that hundred seconds, hundred seconds away. It's all but over. Make your final final push her. Guest gon It's all but over all right, Critters environments, critters environments, critters environments. So exciting news here, guest gon U. There is a interloper, an uninvited guest in the Mallard mansion. I mentioned this also briefly. I will expand on it. Mentioned it briefly

the day on the radio. But I have an uninvited, uninvited house guest, uh, and I've been unable to cut them off at the past. So in the attic above the Mallard mansion, I hear a critter or a varmint, not sure which running amuck at night. I don't hear during the day but at night, so I guess it sleeps during the day, which means it's probably nocturnal. And it runs around and does its thing, and la la la la la la la la la, and and I think it's working out for the NFL draft as much

running as it's doing here. It's training for the Olympics. So I have to decide. And we mentioned this on the show. What I have not made a final decision here because we only mentioned it briefly. People were very excited to give me their advice. Uh, but it is concerning when I hear this. I'm doing the show and it's you know, it's one, two, three in the morning,

and I hear this thing running over my head. So it's some kind of creature to be named later that is running sprints and I'm running the forty running running around, getting workout in. It's been going on for a couple of weeks now, I think it's actually been about a month. And I didn't hear My wife heard it, and the family heard it, and I didn't hear it. And I finally started to hear it. I guess the creature was bothered that I didn't hear it. So now it's like

working right over the studio. It's like I gotta let that asshole Mallard know that I'm here. And so, yeah, and I don't know whether it's a rat. I don't think it's a rat because it sounds bigger. But it might. Maybe it's just because the way the buildings designed. Could be a squirrel. Eddie thinks it's a squirrel. Raccoons, how about that could be that. It could be weed man, hippie, could be weed man up there. But it's not skunk. That'd be awesome. I did see a skunk on my

front launch. It could be a skunk. Well, why skunks only shoot there? You know they're poisonous gas is when they're scared. If it's not scared, what if it's a skunk, it could you know? That's Actually that's actually a good one because there was there was a skunk that I saw several times around the house. It's possible it figured out how to get into the attic and but how how does it eat though there's no food there? Yeah, that's a climb to I mean don't For people that

know don't know, you have a three story house. So it's a big house. It's yeah, it's huge. May I recommend guest and you go get some bifocals. If you think I have a three story house, your jackass? What are you a donkey? What are you gonna do? How are you gonna exter? Well? I'm glad you asked, because I have four options here, all right? Four options? Now. Option number one is to take a piece of cheese and put poison all over it and toss it up in the attic and hope whatever is up there eats.

That's option one. That's the simplest option, just a brief open of the attic, toss it up there, closed, the attic. Done. The problem with that is if said creature critter varmint eats the cheese and does die, I will then have the stench of a rotting carcass in my attic that I will be smelling until it finishes. It's the decomposing So do I really want that? No? I do not want. So that's option one, which is not Option A, which is not a great option Option B. Now that I'm

the lean, mean Mallard record machine. I could go up there with a flashlight and a baseball bat and investigate. I'm skinny enough. I can get up there and walk around the attic and try to find out what's up there, which is rather scary because of the unknown. I've never been in the attic. I've had some people we've hired to put things in the house that have gone up there,

but I've never gone up there myself. But we so we can have somebody go up there and like me and investigate and go full Rambo, put like battle armor on and go to battle it, said creature. Uh. The third option would be to hire a professional that's an animal control company. Now that is like a expensive proposition because I've heard this can get very expensive, very expensive depending on what it is, and so that's a big deal.

You even want to spend that money. Now, the other option I have, the fourth option, is to do nothing and just hope that it leaves on its owner it dies. That's the that's the fourth option. Now. I did get a message from Tammy and Montana who said that I can go to the Humane Society and possibly get a rental cage that I could put up there. You know, the kind of thing where the animal goes in and it drops, you know, put the put the cheese or whatever in there, and the creature goes in, and then

the cage clothes. I could do that. I don't really know if that's a thing, if that's real. Tammy thinks it is. So, so those are my options. I have to decide what I want to do. I think you need to get someone to come in for you, higher professional. So that's what the west of the four or five crowd would do. No, this is the advice I'm giving you because things have gone wrong, and things have gone horribly wrong for many of people. You don't need to be climbing on a ladder to get up there only

to God forbid fall to your demise. What do you think I want to fall through the roof and die. You can fall on the ladder. You can fall through the roof. There's no I have. I have my sensibilities. I have not completely well. I know you think I'm a thousand years old and I've lost it. I've not lost it. But there's more bad things that can happen than good things. Yeah, I think of a story though, life's all about the story gets right didn't I tell

you that? Isn't that one of the lines? Right, That's one of the profound things that I said. All right, so if you go up there, then can you at least have someone videotape you're going up there? Uh? Yeah, I mean I I could. There's a way. I still have to eat the bull testicle, so I have to take that first, and my wife has yet to procure the bull balls, and uh but she's gonna have me do it. I want you to know those are some of you sending me message you're not actually gonna do it.

You like, no, uh now, I don't want to do it. I'm gonna tell you right now, full disclosure. I want to do it. But my wife thinks it's great and she's unfortunately she's using my advice against me because I'm like, you know, listen, if we can't find it, we can't find it, we can't find the bullballs, then not so be it. But she's like, no, no, no, life's all about the stories. So we'll pick up the story. I'll

do one. That's it deep Fried. Although I'm a little concerned because our friend shell Shock, the truck driver, the Great truck Driver, shell Shock who calls into the show occasionally said that he did eat a bull testicle. No, he said it was disgusting and even though it was deep fried and breaded, just like I'm planning on doing. But he said it didn't matter. He said it was it was horrible. Yeah, And that's the problemcy Like, if I didn't know it was the testy of a bowl,

I might not hate it. But it's that lack of of what do they say, cognitive dissidence. I know what it is. I'm aware of it. If I didn't know, I wouldn't have an issue with it as much until I because it's after. It's after the fact. This disaster would have been completely avoided if Paul George had played better, Kawhi Leonard had made a shot in the second half. Yes, I agree with you. I agree with you. And now you're gonna worry about the Lakers winning an NBA title.

I'm not worried about that. No one's watching the NBA. Please. The NBA has done Once the Clippers are out, people stop watching. We all know that. And the Miami Heat are gonna come back. He doesn't look like they're gonna come back, but they're gonna come back. Don't sleep on the heat. Do not do it because you'll get burned. Wow, that's pretty original. Thank you. Speaking of which, I got a Matt Stairs story for you. The great Matt Stairs,

the great Canadian fat Hope. Yeah, the one that absolutely destroyed Jonathan Broxton. I was at that game, said yes, I was sitting waiting. We were anticipating the Dodgers beating the Phillies and they were gonna win the series and they're gonna go to the World Series. And wait, wait, Matt Stairs, it's a moonshot into the pavilion ball has not even landed yet. Anyways, I I got a an interesting text message earlier this week. No, not from Matt stas,

but fill me out on this thing. So I got a random text message from someone we we both mutually know, and it's individual Tom Looney. No, definitely not Tom Looney. Uh. This gentleman said, hey, um, some things are happening next week and I could use your help. And so I said, well, what do you need? What do you what do you need to help with? And he told me what the

circumstances are. And so on Wednesday night, Um, I've been I've been named as a as a pinch hitter, and I will formally announce that I will be producing your show on Wednesday Night Finds uh road style. I know you don't like to listen to a lot of people and you kind of run off on your own way. But wait, wait, wait, I'm gonna be forced to have you on your going to be on the Show's not really forced more like against me. I was not consulted

on this where why as you said, you're not a consultant. Uh, if you will know, But I mean, I'm the host of the show. Shouldn't I have shouldn't I have a say on who comes in here? We're gonna have Ralph coming into the updates, so that Finley character one of those two guys that yeah, my god, you don't go one of my human lab rat. And they're just testing things out on me. It's like a weird science experiment pretty much. Let's test out mallard. It's going to Frankenstein's

lab and see what we can do with the test tubes. Well, when you start going into the radio studio, then you might have a say I go into a radio studio every single day. I'm in here every single day with tremendous equipment. This is one of the better radio stations I've ever worked at. Here, this studio. It's amazing because you don't need to talk to anybody when you're in there. It's great, it's wonderful. I come in here, I got my commute. I'm able to make it. I got my

lunch pail. When I make my commute, go in here, sit down, put my lunch pail down, and I go to work. I go to work. I am no different than the construction worker. I'm no different than the truck driver going eight hundred miles. I'm I'm not putting my feet up like the west of the four oh five crowd over there. So with that being said, I need to I put in a couple of requests a few days in advance. I do not want a text message

at three am saying I need this, that and the other. Um. I need you to abide by my clock and I need you to follow my rundown to a tea. There will be no Laker bashing, no broncos. Yes, well, you keep wishing that, you know, you wish that into reality and see if it happens. And you can add a pinch of salt if you want as well, maybe that'll help. That's one thing I forgot to ask Peter. I wonder how often he actually listened or followed his producer, because

most that do and do not well. There are some that are beholden to their producers and are absolutely helpless without their producer, which is these are their these are their confidants. It is amazing when you think about you could have one of these jobs and be so helpless without someone leading you. You have to be like on a leash and your your dog owners carrying. It's wild.

I'm amazed that people can rise to levels of success and not have the just the I don't know ambitions the right word, but the desire to do it with them, them their leadership. And I'm saying this right, but it's like they just the computers has to line everything up and then rundown and it's like segment by segment and it's like really not. Have you ever had a producer that got in your ear and said you need to talk about this as opposed to this. Oh yeah, I'm

been sure. I've had that in in the past. When I was early in my career, I had a donkey of a producer one time, who's if you don't want to talk about this, just go home. He told me to leave, told me to leave a show if I didn't want to talk about what he wanted me to talk about it. Didn't you send me a YouTube video of a couple of hosts that we're doing that, oh yeah in Philadelphia, and oh yeah, well there was one in Texas, and there was one in Philadelphia. There was

a guy in Houston. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. It was great. It was great. And it's like everyone in the business that was a few weeks ago Funhouse had it on his his side. But these two local yachts in Houston are going back in worth and the one guy is getting frustrated because he told the other guy to do something and the guy's like, I'm trying to do it

right now, you know. And and so this is debate who's wrong And I was the guy that was complaining or the guy that was saying, I'm doing it right now, And my I was always on the guy that was complaining because that's one of them. We talked with Peter about this. When you do a show with someone else and they don't carry their end of the bargain. They

don't carry their weight. It is the most painful experience, right, it's the most painful experience because there's gotta be this level of synergy when you do a two man show to make it work and two groups working together for the better good. But then when you do it with someone who's a lazy slack off in a stumble bum uh, then the some of the parts are actually greater than

the whole. And that's not the way it's supposed to be, right, if one person is doing it, the other person not, and then it's so I totally emphasized to emphasize with that that guy that was complaining because he told the guy to do this, the guys, I'll do it during the show. That's like the Shaquille O'Neil line from back in the day, right, remember the great shock line when

he was playing for the Lakers. He got hurt and then he waited right before training camp to have the surgery, and he said, I got hurt on company times, so I'll heal on company time. So that that's the mindset, that's the lazy mindset of that talk. Traw host in Houston was like, Hey, I'm only getting paid to do the show. I'm not getting paid to prep, so I'll just wait till i'm in here, and um sorry, I'll float on the lazy river of mediocrity and I'll do

this only when I'm in the studio. And that's good because you could usually identify those type of cats first segment in five, eight, ten minutes in yeah, and then you know if they've prepped or not. And then well, it's like I always mocked every year the people that have the audacity around the holidays. It's the Mallard Handbook to Thanksgiving and Christmas Radio thanks Giving. Who would you like to invite in sports dead or alive to Thanksgiving dinner? Right?

Who gets an extra helping of turkey? Who gets who gets a small piece of of of mashed potatoes? What's that? I was gonna say? Your top five Thanksgiving entrees or meals? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, your side, your favorite Thanksgiving side dish, call in right now. And then Chris Chris Diehearted Christmas movie Yesterday, Christmas. Who's been naughty? Who's been nice? That's always hilarious for Christmas. And it's it's just laziness, right, It's just loafing lollygagging around. It's a chrome when I

hear a host do those kind of topics. It is a chronic case of I d G F. You know what that is? I d g A F A flying fuck exactly, Big, exact mundo, correct the mundo. That's how it is. So that Big said you better act your fucking part on Wednesday. I bring it part. I bring it every single day. I I have the gift of hosting a radio show. Do you understand that the power that that is, but really the responsibility. And I'm not

blowing smoke here again, I'm not whistling Dixie here. I'm not like the the thing about when you owse the show. What's the most important commodity that you have the most important commodity that you have? Your voice? No, your time, if someone's willing to give you your time. I'm talking about the listen. No, no, I'm talking about the listen. I mean that's I mean. You can get more money. You can you know, you'll lose money or get money.

You can make new friends, you can lose friends, but you only get a certain finite amount of time, and that you don't even know how much you get. You don't even know how much you get, and if you're willing to spend time listening to somebody and give up your time, and that is a huge deal. And I don't I don't just sweep that under the rug. I don't. I think that's a big deal. So you try to

do a good job. Either that or maybe we can come in and take it like a new Scanne and then we can go out and you know, go have a dinner somewhere or something. You drive to Orange County and have a dinner because the restaurants are open. You're celebrating your second visit ever. Last week on Betty Versus the Penny, here's their second visit ever during the pandemic.

The restaurant. Yes, I've eaten out twice since March and at the same restaurant, this Mexican restaurant in Orange County that my dad we used to go to when I was younger, and so we used to go there. You in the midsts didn't eat out when you guys went up to uh like Central Cally. Oh well that's true, yeah, but I'm talking about in l A. Yeah, we went to uh yeah, the Madonna in My wife loves the Madonna and you ever been to the Madonna in San Louis Obispo. It is the most gaudy, over the top hotel.

It's on the hill looking at the freeway there and it's every room is a theme. You know, it's like women love this hotel, Gisco and gay guys. But you should bring you should bring you know, somebody, lady friend or whatever. You know, maybe you can meet halfway and hanging out there. You know, it's a pretty good idea. Was it a pretty penny? It depends on what day

you go. It's it's not that bad. It's not by your standards west of the four oh five, you would think this is a fleabag hotel, but your standards if you go up there. Let me know that because my wife loves the They have these cups and she likes the Madonna in cups, so I'm not kidding, but cups or what there's these big glass like I don't know how to describe, sound like medieval times when like the you know, you go, yes, it's unique, right, yeah, goblet's exactly. Yeah,

they're goblets. That's what they're One day, well, today's today's to day. You can do it. We have pop quiz. You want to do pop quiz here? Yes, all right, I don't know, we're getting a little long in the tooth. Really, you know what, we want to save pop Quiz to the Sunday podcast. It might be a good idea, right, all right, are loaded tomorrow with with I have a lot of questions and I know you don't like answering them because they're awkward for you. But we can do

pop quiz and we can do the questions. Sure, okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Then, all right, listen, thank you again. You still time. It's Saturday. You can get Benny versus the Penny on the YouTube every game being played on Sunday and Monday. Will break it down for your handicap a talk about the matchup, who I think is gonna win, who you should bet on, marginal handicapping advice, Benny versus the Penny and if you don't like that, well go to cameo dot com. Cameo dot com Ben Maller personalized

video message, love to have you part of that. We've done a number of cameos for super fans of the show pe Ones and if you haven't had one yet, uh do anythay birthday shout outs, bar Mitzvah's weddings, funerals. You name it, good, bad, or ugly. Just want a a positive message, We would love to give you that, or me ranting about something. I had a guy that paid for a cameo to have me say good things

about the Lakers, which was very awkward. Which was very awkward, but I did it anyway, So cameo dot com have a great day. We'll catch you next time. Be sure to ken live editions of The Ben Miller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific