Performance Review

Ben Mallard starts right now that it does. We are in the air everywhere, coast to coast, order to moorder beyond, because as you know, four hours clearly not enough on the overnight. We do this eight days a week, eight days a week. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard made possible, in part, at least for us by Cameo Cameo dot com. And I've done a few of those things recently. But by the way, it does help us out. If you some of you guys haven't been writing reviews lately and

you want those. I don't mind doing them because some people like, hey, keep it private. I don't want this getting out there, which is fine. I'm cool with that, but just doing a little review, do a little review. It's it's kind of cool there. So if you want a cameo personal video, it's not that much. Although I was told we'll bring in David Gascon from West of the four oh five, who ruined the show the other night. We'll get in to that in a minute. There is

no applause today, Guscot. We don't have any applaus for you. I think the crowd that normally arrives with me is sound asleep. They've been working hard or last forty eight hours, and so they've taken some time off. Although I have not so interesting interesting. So we had Arnie on, Yes, dude, I love Arnie Man. We had so many good times back in the day. I hope people didn't hate that. That was like old guy, uh, you know, glory days radio. We were talking about the glory days. We had so

much fun. It wasn't great. I don't hate listening to that stuff. I just, um, I don't know about you, but like listening back to those things or listen to you guys talk and just it kind of makes me disappointed because you guys did what you did and you can't do that anymore. Oh, I know, I know, and it's like it happened like in front of my eyes and I didn't quite realize it. And now it's gone.

It's gone. That time is gone. Uh you know. But hey, the way I look at it, like even now, I guarantee you whoever is doing radio twenty years from now and knock on would I'll be doing it and you'll be doing it. But you say, oh, it was better twenty years ago, you know, because things continue to evolve and change. I would love to see it go back. I don't know the way it would go back to. I don't know a way that he could go back to the way it had been, you know, twenty years ago,

twenty five years ago and whatnot. But I just think it's tough because we you discussed this when you were working at w E. I is that you get one person that makes the claim and starts grabbing audio from whatever you said, takes offense to it, and goes up the food chain of a program director or GM, and then boom, you guys are five. Oh yeah, Well we had Jerry Callahan, my Jerry Callen, my friend from Boston.

He does a podcast now, and Jerry's great, and he was very talented at a great run as a he's a columnist in Boston and a very successful writer at

Sports Illustrated. Had a popular show that had the number one morning show in Boston, the Kirk and Callahan Show, and it all went away because a one nut job that had a axe to grind and didn't like them and had a lot of money and just kept attacking them until you know, the sponsors and things like that, until the station decided to to go their separate ways. It's a cautionary to It's very scary tale. I should make a movie, I told Jerry when we had him on.

I believe that, not that they make many radio movies anymore, but they should make a movie about that. That's a horror stories. What that is. That is a horror story and there's no other way to tell it. So anyway, coming up on today's podcast, we have a look back, another look back, And we didn't obviously get to this on Friday because we had Arnie uh in here and but a lot of people have been sending me messages here and commenting about your performance on the show, and

so we're gonna get to that. And we we also have one of my favorite bits, and why not, we will do pop quiz, will do a few pop quiz questions as well, and so and whatever else pops up, guest and whatever else pops up. And it's the Halloween season, it's election season. We had the vice president presidential debate the other day. We both watched that it was taken over by a fly, which is still amazing to me.

Of all the things that fly, which is probably dead right, And don't the the average fly lasts like a couple of days. That's it. I think the question is did you time it? Did you clock the fly on Vice President Mike Pence's head? Well, as soon as I noticed it, I was in such a panic. I I was, I was watching the baseball game on one TV and I had the debate on the other, and so or I had a debate on the TV, and I had the baseball game on the computer, and so I mean, I fly,

you know, I tweeted you. I text you I was like fly fly and as you said on the show, you thought that was a baseball reference, which I get um, and I, oh, it was amazing. It was the most dramatic thing. I said, went it is that fly dead? You know? Maybe the fly's dead, and you know they should, you know, stop it and get rid of the dead fly. And I say, because the flight doesn't usually my my experience with flies is they don't normally stay in one

place very long. They're always moving, They're always flying around. And that fly sat there and was like, I'm moving in I'm gonna nest in the hair of the Vice President of the United States on live national television during a vice presidential debate, and Mike Pence. Uh, he was so focused on what he was saying, um, and I give him credit for this, he did not. He did not acknowledge the fly. And the other thing is, you know, from doing TV guest and there's there's monitors around there.

They know they can see if they look at the monitor, it's hard not to notice the fly. He's got why hair and there's a black fly landing on his head. Yeah. I think it's safe to say, though, with where Mike Pence was at and who he was with, this is this is like Rocky going into Russia and Rocky four against Drago, Like nobody's gonna do that guy any favors at all. You had? Uh? Oh, yeah, Well it's codd

Rayder and then Senator Kamala Harris. Well, it's kind of like me doing the show Benny Versus the World every night, Benny Versus the World, just spitting facts, spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit backs. Do you like Did you like Kamala Harris? Is there her gyrations, her body language to the camera. That was a little that kind of reminded me of of Hillary Clinton from two thousand. Yeah,

I wonder if that's gonna work like it won't. Yeah, I tend to agree, like I obviously, I um, you know, looking the other direction here, but even if you're I don't know if anyone is actually neutral. But I don't know. I just that kind of people like that, if that's real, I don't think she's real. She's a politician, she's been very success picking men to help her out, but I I just can't imagine that that you want to be around people like that, you know? It just it was

very annoying. But she was one of the lowest rated Democratic nominees for the president. I had states who was the guy that helped her early on her career that she was going on with what was the guy's name in San Francisco, Mayor right, It wasn't like Mayor Brown or something like. Okay, Jeffrey. I read it somewhere online. But yeah, that just the I mean, the posturing is one thing, but you have, like you said, you have cameras on seven so they're taking any kind of body

language away. And you know, Mike Pence was kind of it was cool. I know that he interrupted her a couple of times, and the moderator also said, like, hey, you're constantly talking over her, you're interrupting her. We need to give her some time. We're actually at the end of the debate, Senator Harris had more talking time than the Vice President Pence. I wonder how that happened. Yeah, yeah, I did like that Pence at one point he you know,

all these places they don't directly answer the questions. So you didn't answer the question. You know, she didn't answer the question. She tap aanswer around, just smiled and winked at the camera and moved on. Like every hack politician ever,

how they all do it. Yeah, it's a it's a fun time, but it's extremely volatile, and I think it'll probably even more volatile as the days get closer to November the three, especially on your show, because you it seems like you have a split squad on Uh yeah, well it's not a political show, but yeah, I mean Coop he doesn't get any more you know, limousine liberal than Cooper Loope. I mean, he's the definition of that. Roberto's I think that way as well. I don't know,

and Eddie's just kind of neutral. Eddie doesn't really get into it that much. But yeah, that's fine. Listen, we'll be on the night of the election, which I don't know how much sports we're gonna talk about, but it canna be a crazy night, man, It's gonna be a crazy night election night. I just remember the mandate from a few years ago that was sent out to everybody,

don't talk politics. This is a day. It was the day after the election when things went down, and I was just like, all right, so I wonder what host it was. And then I found out and I'm like, yeah, it wasn't me, gascoont it wasn't It wasn't me that gotten that truck. I mean, there's a way that you could kind of bleed it in and bleed it out

right as opposed to going to know and listen. I mean, obviously, as a podcast, we talked about politics a little bit, but it's just mostly a sports podcast, and I understand people tune in to hear sports and I get that. I I understand that to the argument, and during the middle of the pandemic, we did show were no sports going on, so we talked about a lot of different things and people were triggered by it some people, some people loved it and wanted us just to do that.

And it's pretty much a microcosm of society today, right, you know, depending on your your you look for you look for your people that are your cheerleaders too, and you want to hear people that are on your team, and that's what you want here, and I'm all for that. But it's it's even more odd nowadays when we go on social media and we actually have colleagues that are rooting or tweeting or retweeting or favorite ng tweets from individuals that support a sitting president not only getting the

coronavirus but potentially dying from it. Oh yeah, well, that that was some of some of the some of the news reports from the from the liberal outposts in the media were hilarious, Like they were really excited. I had friends of mine that are you know, some of my buddies who I worked with the past, were big liberal guys, and they were like really excited. They thought this was gonna do in Trump. They were like convinced that this

was it. Their dreams were gonna come true. And it was a month before the election, and oh my god, this is the most wonderful thing. And then to see their reaction when like a couple of days later, he's back at the White House, Oh my god, it was so upset. They was so angry, so angry that Chrump did not end up in a un a ventilator somewhere. I get it, as some people love him, see some people hate him. But how fucking how morbid you gotta be to root for a sitting president to die from

a terrible disease. Yeah, I you know, I I've said many times. I obviously more in the Republican side, but I would love to meet a president, any president. I think it'd be cool. I respect the office of the presidency, and this is kind of how I was raised. I know a lot of people only respected if their teams in the White House. But I don't. I mean, if if Biden happens to win, and uh, you know he wants to invite me over there, I'll hang out with him.

I'm not against that, you know, I'm I'm open to it. But a lot of people I know, I don't know you I can't hang out with. I always love when you go to the they go to like the Nazi card, right, that's always as I said with Coop, and Coop got so upset with me. He got so upset with me, guesscon when I brought this up. But it's true. It's

like goodwins law. It is accepted. When anybody brings up the Hitler card, you've lost the argument, right, and and also any trace of respect, uh, having to resort to comparing the person you don't like to the most infamous, mass murdering, evil dictator in the history of the modern world. Um, you've lost. And people just continue to do it. Thought

that's their go to a car. And I saw an NBC reporters to the other day that he felt safer reporting in North Korea than he does inside the White House. That was that was awesome. Well, that's that's the same as like the crap Lebron James and some of these people are saying it's just absurd, but they they have a former saying they're saying it, so it's I think.

I think the best part of what that forum is that over the last three and a half four years now as that I have discovered and I'm sure you have too, that I have discovered so many people on social media that are not only c p a s, but they're criminal investigators, their doctors of they're they're virologists, like everyone is tied now to all things politics, that they're professionals and all these different categories revolving around the president United States. Yeah, well I would like to know

and maybe you know this, like I don't. I'm not all that. I don't tweet a lot. I'm on Twitter and I'll send out videos of the show and occasionally I'll throw out a great one liner about the Dodgers

something like that, or the a s strows um. But there are people I am convinced because when Trump tweets something out and he goes on these Twitter storms, it's like the same seven or eight people, and it doesn't mean like Trump President Trump will tweet at random times, and no matter when he sends the tweet out, it's like the same seven or eight people that are right there ready to throw a CounterPunch, Like what are these are?

They always just staring refresh, refresh on their phone. So they get some kind of an alert there within a minute, within a minute, there me needately responding to whatever he says and whatever he says is wrong, whatever he says is wrong. He could say I have solved hunger, I have solved poverty, and you are a bomb? How dare you? You are a liar and r rat? People deserve to have poverty. What's wrong with you? Well, it's like the

notifications for Adam Schefter, Adrian origin Anowski. As soon as they tweet something out and you have your notifications on for those guys, you get them right away. And you know, everyone's kind of lot to the hip with whatever you know, Trump tweets out or Obama or Hillary and so notifications pop up right away and got something in the tank already and respond lit it rip, so letter, rip letter rip. Do these people have lives? I mean some of these

people aren't. They're not media people. I don't think they are. No, But I did. I appreciated what you said to me the other day. You said, you've you've taken your foot off the gas and being on social media as much as you. Oh, I have. Yeah, you know, I was on their way too much, and I was getting really wor up into a ladder about everything because everything is just outrageous, and you know, everything is a disaster. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna take a step back.

So my new thing is I I shut shut her down before I go to bed, I get up, I don't look at the social media. It's not the first thing I look at when I get up anymore. I go for a walk and and then I come back. I have you know, if I eat that day, I don't need a couple of days a week, but I'll have a meal. And then at that point I lock in. I'm like, okay, I gotta get a show together, and then I'll look at it. But I yeah, I'm not obsessing with it anymore because it's just, you know, it's

it drives you to the madhouse. It does. You just can't do it all the time. I mean, but you're on there, You're on there a ton Still though you're on there, a lot more than more than I am now, right, That's what happens when you tag me and tweets and decide to defecate on my my name and and my soul.

What are you talking about? You know last year you took a picture of my car and then twitter onto the network Twitter account, and then a few days ago you decided to put out a poll question discusting my performance producing your show. That's right, you were in. You were in the big chair as a producer in for the Koopa Loop, Who's on vacation taboo? How about Coop going on vacation anyway? So you you came in there, you sat in. That was the Wednesday and the Thursday show.

So a few days back, and uh, I was just I was asking the people, the militia, what grade would you give David Gascon for his performance producing our show?

And the people voted and there's still I think the votes over now, there were hundreds of people that voted guest on you'd be very happy with a great turn out for that um and I think, if I remember correctly, it was abject failure, I believe was the vote that you The grade you got was abject failure with a wink and a nod to underwhelming, useless and crumbing, but not Joe Crumby the old talk show is from Back on the Job Crumby, who was very good, a good

talk show host, Joe Crumb. He used to work at KF I worked in New York for a long time. I don't know where he is now, but it was good. Well in the in the day and age with university is getting rid of uh college ad admission exams. Yes, um, I must say that I do pass the Ben Mallard test in terms of the pretty well, wait, so you're now what grade would you give a Keep in mind, now you chose to go rogue, you chose to go a wall. You decided not to screen calls for the

first two and a half hours of the show. You then told me in talk back, Hey, Ben, we I opened the lines. We've got some calls, and then you gave me a bogus name, which turned out to be Tammy in Montana, a ringer. She's in the tank for gascon. So then we didn't take any more calls. If I remember correctly, we just did the show. Fine, I have plenty of content. I don't have to have to take a call. That's not the point, but it's a call in radio show. So so then the last bit we

did factor fiction and you actually screened the calls. I thought, Okay, Gascon's coming around. He wants to do the bit. Right. Here we go. We're in right, and you are such a stumble bump. He's such a mama luke that you couldn't figure out the phone system at Fox Sports Radio, and you couldn't get the people on and off quick enough so I could get to all the judge. I didn't even get to all the judges that were on hold.

And then you started hanging up on people. And then I read the stories and I was gonna go back and I was gonna have them, you know, try to answer. And you could not figure out who was on who. I remember the first call, which I thought was Jack. The judge was some guy in Iowa. That's right, Derek and Iowa. Derek and Iowa. Yes, well that was that was as no Stardinas said, my friend in Seattle. That

was Hindenburgh esque? Is what that one? I just love that you go to him and he's live on radio and he decided to take a shot, like he called in to be a part of a segment. So I thought that was great. That was funny. You could treat it like an asshole. So he was. He was punted down the road. Uh so it is Justin and Cincinnati. That was great, Jack who called in. A woman by the name of Leslie called first, Laslie, Yes, Leslie and Jack to judge. I didn't know that, So she called

first and put him on the line. Um, we went to him and he just took a second to respond to your questions. So well, I think he took a second because he wasn't potted up. I think he wasn't prepared. You were not prepared to have money. So what what letter grade ABC D F would you give yourself? I think I'd give myself a solid B plus. I made the plus. That's above average. Yeah, it's above average. My, my fucking ass, that's above average. Were you kidding me?

I'd give myself an eight. Eight. Part of the reasons eight that is that is an F. That is a failure. That is a fair you fail. You you didn't do the Basically, that's the easiest job in the world. You sit there and it lights up like a Christmas tree. It starts blinking. You say, hello, Fox Sports Radio, what do you want to talk about naming city? You put it in and then you just tell me the calls. I go to the calls. It's the easiest gig in

the world. Well that's not necessarily that, just that you're like, I'm only not only doing that one thing that the night before I was giving you some questions for a bit that we had mallut of the third degree. I was telling you what I was gonna discuss on that portion of the show. Um, we talked six hours prior to the show starting about you know, the rundown, how you want to open up the show, the other monologues. Yeah, yeah, that was not that was not a two way conversation.

All right. You asked me what I was gonna be talking about, which is nice. I don't normally get asked what I'm gonna be talking about. Normally that does not happen until like a minute before the show. But anyway, so you asked me what I was interested in talking about or whatever. So I I then told you at

that time, I think I only had three things. I needed a fourth thing, and then the I had some NFL stories that were interested in the interesting and then I was gonna do an Astros monologue, but I said, I said, I'm gonna wait on it because the series isn't over yet and I want to wait. And then and then the Dodger Padre thing happened with Machado and bruised are grad role, so that I ran with that. That was that was so good I would have I'm

glad I waited on that. So you gotta wait, man, you gotta let it and let it happen, let it breathe a little bit. Seeah, So I got you some sound for that. No no, no, no no, no no no no. I sent you a Ron rivera sound bite and a jj watt soundbity. That's fine. Those are those are two things that I was able to get into the system for you in play. You are such a douche. You are unbelievable. Man, hold on, you have you can you can take a crap on me for for fucking

up on a phone call, which you did. Do you know how much time I put into prep benny versus the penny no acknowledgement for that? Wait wait wait wait, So I work from wait no no wait wait from Tuesday until just before we do the thing on Friday. I am intolerable here trying to handicap the game. Of course. The great thing is I should you know, I spent all this time and I've been I've been terrible the

last couple of weeks, which is really unspeakable. How annoying that is that you know you spent all this time and you're just dreadful at picking games. It's baffling, But that's been the way it happens sometimes. But that's a hobby of mine. I'm not getting paid for that. You know, we get to the Mallet Militia. You can't block the Mallem militia from the chat room though. See that's the problem. They're in there. Those lunatics are in there, and they're

those loggerheads are going nuts, and I love it. I love the p ones, the super fans of the show that are on Benny versus the Penny in that chat on the YouTube, it's wonderful. Yeah, well, I build that out. I create graphics for each game, create graphics for you with myself. So I produced that co hosted with you and monitor everything on the group chat. My my heart bleeds for you. Guess it's my heart bleeds asking it to bleed. I'm just saying you should acknowledge everything as

opposed to yet I'm allowing you. I'm allowing you. I'm allowing you to sit on a gold mine here, the Mallem Militia brand. I'm allowing you to enter the Holy This is, as Mike North would say, the big leagues. Okay, this is the big leagues. You're not in the minors anymore. That's what Mike Mike North would say. Well, if there's any indication of how this thing will result is that one day you'll have me fired from the show and I'll end up hosting a one hour show on the

Mighty to ninety. That is a low blow. You're so jealous, giscus. You know you you're such a defeat. Obstacles are holding me back. Oh my go instead of saying obstacles help me, right, create your own reality. You don't do any of that stuff you want to. You have such a victim mentality. Life happens to me. Oh my god, I can't start until you give me a favorite start before you should start, before you're ready. It leads to success. Right, it's too hard.

I could do it if it were easy. Everyone would do it. Okay, everyone would do it. I thought the show went great. Would give you enough fodder for forty hours and great? If you had told me, it would have been one thing you said, Hey, Ben, I'm no calls ton no calls. But you didn't tell me that. You just you just left me high and dry. How about a little communication, how about a little synergy, how about a little Hey, here's what I'm thinking. I don't know how to use the phone system and I'm lazy,

so why don't we not take any calls tonight? How about that little cooperation, a little harmony in the community. That's not the case, though. What do you tell your wife what you got her for Christmas prior to her opening up the game? Yes, because yes I do. Because she normally says I want this or this, pick one. So I'm like, okay, thank you very much. That's a good wife. I'll get one of those two things done done. I don't have to stress about it at all. Listen,

sometimes life gives you some surprise. But yes, you know, I'm hardwired when I do show prep, and I'm obsessive about show prep, and I'm because the hacks on the way I was raising radio. You're paranoid. Well I'm para know what. I don't want to be caught with my pants down on radio. I'm not prepared and I'm well so I always it's this tug of war with how much prep and not enough prep, and I factor in the I'm gonna take a certain number of calls because

I got the whack pack of Mallew militia. You guys a call. So if you just let me know, no calls, I'm fine with that. I don't mind that you don't want to take calls. I'm okay with that. I can adjust right and I can cris cross some things and then I'll be okay. Well, how about this moving forward? How about you have a little trust and a little faith. Well I had faith in you, and it was such a mess. I've been here for you. After I've gotten hit by a car window blowing out major surgery. I

have been here for you. I've been sick on and not only not be there, not only is my heart bleeding for you. I am now going to the closet to get out again. The world's smallest violent I play that every week for you. I am just asking you to have a little bit of faith, you know what I have. So I'm a tourist. You know what that means. That means you've been I'm a bull. And when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Guestout, you're gonna learn that at some point. Okay, you mess with

the bull, you get the horns. I'm the bull. You messed with the bull, you got the horns. So oh, I'm such a victim. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're like the victim, victim, victim, You're like the You're like the bride that's been left at the altar by the groom. You've just been screwed over after a producer after producer. Well that part is true. But that's fine, you know So I don't I don't bring you, I don't complain about it all the time. I don't blame

other people. I don't sit there and wallow and victim Loyd. I'm like, all right, I've had some bad luck randomly with people that are lazy or whatever. That's fine. I got the text messages that say otherwise, Well, I'm just I'm alerting. I'm just alerting you. Guess I'm just alerning you. I'm alerting you to that, right. I think it makes for a bit. You like that kind of you like

to hear about the pity train and all that. You know, No, but I do enjoy good theater, and when things don't go right, especially on any kind of show, it makes for good theater. You get some people that loved it, and you get some people that bitch demaned about it. That's fine, let him walk it off. So you're your thing in your head, your neurosis is it was so bad it was good, that it was such a feeble performance that it was some people like it, and so

therefore it's past. Well, you get some guys that are just so stuck in their ways and having everything they want and need as callers that they don't like being thrown a curveball. And I threw them a curveball. They didn't adj you know. Guess this is and we brought this up before. I'm sure we've mentioned this in the podcast. One of the crazy things in my head. Um, but at least at any given time of Americans will believe any fucking thing you said. Okay, it's an amazing Hand

to God, they've been studies on this. Uh, there's a lot of craziness. You could say, the most ridiculous thing in the world and about people. We'll believe you, right, whatever you think is the craziest thing. Right. It's that old old quote from from Mark Twain. It's easier to fool the masses than to convince them they are being fooled, which is which is so, And he's been dead for years, but it's so. You would admit that your collars are part of a cult following that they just drink whatever

cool they pour another glass. No, my collars are hard working people. These are people that that love radio and appreciate hard working radio, that want to be part of the show, that are pulling the chain the same way I'm pulling it. They're not pulling against me. These are people that want to see the show do well. They want to be a part of the show. They want to be characters on the show. They liked that I goof on them occasionally and there, but they liked that

they're they're part of what we do here. That there were a dysfunctional family in the malamn Listia, We've got to dopey oath and all that stuff, and We bust each other's balls, but we love each other. And that's that's how it works on this show. And I appreciate that. And I think, of, no, you don't have If they want to be a part of the show, don't call it and be an asshole to me. How about that? How about you are such a snow flaw. You are such a snowflas you are such a you are such

a snowflake. Right, I think I diss itself a service that night, um less, stress less, terrible. It's fine, it was terrible. You are not part of Benny's brigade of the Mallam militia. You are not. I think. The one thing that's for certain is the podcasts were not messed up. There were Crystal Claire and perfect. The audio was great. And I don't know is that did you clean up that first hour podcast? Did you clean that up? Because I heard there might have been a mistake originally. Yeah? No, Wow,

the dedication is unbelievable. All right, we gotta we gott a little time for pop quiz. Yes, a little time for pop quiz here A well, do some pop quiz questions. These are actual questions that I have found from scouring the internet because I have no life. I have no life, and that's how we do it. Okay, let's go here. Seven percent of parents say their kids look up to this person. Who is it? Um, the president? The president? Are you not not this president but a president? No? No,

I guess something else. I'd say a pop singer. No. The The answer, Gascon is their coach? Their coach. Do kids actually have coaches these days? Because I thought all sports were shut down, at least in California. I thought they were all I'll shut down and they have guides, and then they have their parents that start yelling at the coaches like they're the smartest people in the room.

So that's what we got these days. It used to be when I was younger, it would be like the clergyman, right, the rabbi, the priest, the shaman, whoever, that would be the most important person. But not now, not anymore, not anymore. All right, Um, you have something? No, I was gonna say, did you have like a principal or did a discipline that was a pretty starting on or anything like that. No. I didn't go to Religiou school. I had a teacher.

I didn't really have a teacher that I fell in love with that I thought was like really cool until I got to high school. I had a guy that was like a speech teacher and kind of like the bait guy. And I thought that guy was really on the ball. He knew what he was doing and and I wasn't doing that great in school and he was like, uh, yeah, I don't worry about this bullshit. You know you're gonna find in life, you know. And I was like, yeah, that's kind of kind of you know, I just connected

with the game alright. Research suggests that women have bigger ones than men. What is it? Oh boy, this is dangerous eyes? Uh no, hangovers? Wow. That makes sense though, because women are generally smaller than men. Although I've dated something that we're bigger, but they're generally smaller than men. And so isn't it a lot of that is based on weight? Yeah, it isn't it? So that would make

sense right if you're someone who's weighs less than a dude. Um, so wait a minute, So if you weigh less, the call affects you more, right, That's usually how it works. Am I correct on it? All? Right? When's the last time you had a massive hangover. I haven't dranking a long time, so I would really you gave it up for for religious reasons or well, no, I mean I was on antibiotics for a little while and COVID. Yeah,

I'm more of a social drinker. I don't drink at home, all the bars are closed, and yeah, I can't spend eighteen dollars for shodow whiskey. I know you are, man, I remember we were before the Apocolypy would go out to parties with Rob Parker's party and some other people's parties there in Hollywood, living the life. Yeah, it was fun, no more, it was good. But you would you get around of drinks. You'd order the most expensive thing of the bar, typical west of the four oh five guests,

if I might as well order it? Well, no, but then we would have to buy around for you and you. Yeah, it's like the most expensive whiskey and all this stuff, and I have to That's that's the decorum. When if somebody buys you around and drinks, you buy them around a drink. Well, you guess how that works. You got me frozen cold raising canes, and I got your Tomahawks steak. How about that? Trade off. Well, you're Tomahawks steak is the same temperature as the raising cakes. Thank you for that.

You're like you the assist man, right, you're the king of the John Stockton back in the day. I'm car I'm alone with a hammer dunk for the Utah Jazz. Al Right, moving on here, I guess this is actually kind of funny. Forty seven percent of men experience this daily. What is it? Oh? This is something I associate more with like junior high school or high school. Um, forty seven percent. Wow, don't go there, Come on, don't go there? To think of what else? Then? Um? Do you want

to go there and go there? No? Um? A little self gratification there is that where you're going guests? Pretty much? Yea uh? Seven percent of men experience oh weggy, oh daily a date? How do you if you're having a wedgie every day? Can't shouldn't you buy some new underwear or something like that? Shouldn't you make a new investment? You know what I'm saying. Yeah, especially depending on if you're wearing jeans or pants or tight shorts. What the fuck? Yeah,

that's that's all right. Now. This is a this is a weird one. And it kind of involves an advertiser for for my show and for Fox Sports Radio. So sixteen percent of people would buy a used one of these, while many people would say this is very disgusting a bed. No, no, I'm it's not. As long as a bed doesn't have blood or urine or other bodily fluids on it, I think it's okay. But you know of people would buy a used electric toothbrush. That's fucking gross. Man, How disgusting

is that? How horrible is that? Unless it's the electric ones? And then you can buy the replace unless it's a Quip new smart electric toothbrush. That's right. And by the way, free spot, I've got a free plug. Get quip dot com slash mallet right now there. This is not a paid commercial. I'm just I just remember I did voice of commercial for Quip and it's a G E T q U I P dot com slash mallet. There's bucks. You get one of those bluetooth top of the line

like the Maserati of the the toothbrush. It's pretty good. I would it isn't a way though you could disinfect it sounds disgusting and why would you want to put that in your mouth because somebody else had in their mouth. But if you go to the dentist, there's stuff that they reuse and they are able to disinfect it, So you wouldn't. You just have to figure out how to do that. Wait, how are you comfortable buying a used bed because you get pists and blood and so I

don't know. I don't buy use beds. I don't, but there is a market for them, right if you go to those thrift stores while you're west of the four or five, those of us on the east of the four or five, they have beds in there and stuff like that. You know, do you get the bed bugs too? Like there's a lot of things that not every bed has bed bugs. Yeah, I know, but you'd still have everything else that could be on there. Oh yeah, yeah. All right, let's do a few more of these and

then we'll get out of here. Why not. There's other things to do with the Sunday podcast as well. Let's see here, all right. I think we had this one before, but I don't remember, so maybe you don't remember. The thirty seven percent of people regularly do this at the dinner table, compared to only ten twenty years ago, and we had this a while back. But I wanna take a guess. Um, I'll say, play on their cell phone. No, it's at the dinner table. Yeah, oh it's eat on

paper plates. Oh we did have that one, you know. I ate, Yeah, I ate on paper plates twenty years ago because I was, you know, a single guy living in an apartment in Hollywood, and I actually didn't eat much on paper plates, but I was at home I eat. I actually used to eat at the fast food rapper, you know, the KFC box of the Windy's rapper, you know whatever. I was eating the Arby's rapper. I think you said, like when you were on the East Coast,

you just eat out the pizza boxes, right. Oh? Yeah, I had a ninety hour I think it was a ninety hour fast when I was in Boston and doing some stuff at e I and I ordered a large, large cheese steak pizza from a local pizza shop in Boston. I ate the entire thing. I loved it. Oh my god. The great thing about a sixty or seventy or eighty hour fast as you can eat whatever you want when you're done. It's an amazing thing, alright. Eighty eight million

Americans now own this and use it daily. What is it? Apple Watch? It is technology, but it's not an Apple Watch. You want to take another guess, Um, do do do do do? Mayo? Do do Do Do doo? Apple earbuds? No smart speaker. Oh, I don't do that. You do that? You're smart? Yea? Was it Alexa or whatever? Is that what that is? Right? Yeah? Yeah, I don't do that. I'm not interested in that. I didn't change my phone the other day though, on Sirie. I didn't realize you

can do this. I don't know if you've done it. I changed the language though, or accent to British. She sounds cooler when you're around women. You're like, hey, I'm educated. I have the British accent on my phone when I asked teas, when I asked Siri for directions, she gives me navigation. And you know, the British accents, it's pretty high. Why don't you change it up? Don't you mix it up? So other languages other accents around the globe. Well, there's

a there's a handful of them. There's British, there's Australian. Australians good because Australian New Zealand are pretty much the same. And I haven't. I just did it though, so all right, good for you, let's do it. I got a couple more. A lot of us think doing this while we work is good for us, but a new study says it is not multitasking. Uh No, sitting on an exercise ball. Yeah, we don't get people that do that at Fox. No. No, they would sit on a stack of turkey sandwiches, is

what they would go and eat them. Whither's sitting there? And they go lower and lower and lower and lower and how low can I do? And then get the leftover food into the keyboard. Yeah exactly, Yeah, the mayonnaise and the miracle whip and all that. All right. According to about ten percent of men, this is one of the sexiest professions a woman can have. You're a single guy, guess what this woman you're dating has this? You were all turned on? You think this is an amazing job

for the ladies. Lawyer. No, actually, I've heard that men don't like lawyers because they you know, they little intimidated by that want'll be challenged. I think it's sexy. What is it? I think it's sexy because the lawyers are rich and you know, well not actually most lawyers are poor. But it was successful female lawyer who was good at her job. You know, one of those one of those ambulance chasing lawyers that are on billboards all over l A. Yeah, come on man, Yeah, uh, it's an I T job.

Oh a I T job. Yeah, there's something that I've that I've met there. Pretty hot. Yeah, that's great. You'll never be without WiFi if you date a beautiful lady that knows about the I T. But not only that, they're pretty wealthy to tech is tech is there can be yeah, can be, can be. Well, at least they're not as much in debt as opposed to lawyers that are passing the bar graduating law school. I mean, you've gotta be upper echelon as an attorney before you you're

making some serious cheese. Yeah, you gotta pay your dues. And I mean it's the numbers are amazing. I don't know if the numbers are the same, but as of a couple of years ago, is about eighty thousand people a year that take the bar. You love that stat, I do. It's a great stat eighty thousand a year and about seventy actually pass. That's a lot, isn't that a lot? You think it'd be harder to pass, but pass the bar, And that means every year there's sixty

thou new lawyers. I love that stat because in radio, there's a million people who want to be in radio, but there's not a million people that qualify to be in radio. Every year, there's people are graduating from college and they have to pay their dues and they want to get a radio show, and they'll start a podcast or try to find a niche somewhere and all that, But sixty thousand lawyers. And like when you start as a lawyer, I've had my buddy, one of my buddies

is kids a lawyer in New York. And it's like you do all the busy body work, you do all the bullcrap work, and you do it for years hoping to move up and then and then when you get to the top, you don't do any of that. You just have other people that do it for you. And it's a circle of life. But just process of getting

in alone. You know, here in California and in New York, the bar is a multiple day exam two three days, and you're spending at least a minimum of thousand dollars to take the California State Bar if you do it online. I think it's twelve. So there's a lot of money that's getting dumbed just into taking the exam. You better passed the first time. Yeah, you were thought about being a lawyer taking the bar and be like you should be like that guy. Uh was the guy Frank aban

Gale or whatever? Remember the catch me if you can, guy Leonardo DiCaprio is Frank Abiccneil. Yeah, but the real guy like passed the bars allegedly and wasn't actually and he didn't even study for it. He didn't go to school law school. Frank aban Gale, I think Agnail, Yeah, he was a c p A. He was. He was an attorney and it was also a doctor and a pilot. And he's had like a thirty forty year career at

the FBI. Right, they brought him in an advisor on fraud because he was so good at But it was really easy back in those days though, with the fake checks and all that, I mean, you could really pull it off, and they limited police camera presents and things like that. Oh yeah, routing the checks from the East coast to the West coast and vice versa. Here it down, Pat, Yeah, that was a good movie. Catch me. That's an old

movie now, but that was a good movie. Catch me if you can, I like to DiCaprio on Tom Hanks. I think it was just a good movie because it's a good story. Yeah, great story. It's a wonderful story. You know what. I'm pissed. One of my favorite books, The Magic Christian. Would you would be a wonderful movie? They made a movie like in the seventies. It's the worst fucking movie ever and it's a great story, and they just butchered the movie. And it pisces me off

because they make so much crap in Hollywood. I don't make anything right now. But if you we did that movie, wouldn't that be a great movie if you get the right actors and a billionaire testing out that you know, there's nothing so terrible and you know in a apropriate and taboo that you wouldn't do if the money's right. Yeah, well,

it's a great story. It's a one I mean, I mean it's and this was the book The Magic Christians was about so if you had to do a movie now about a billionaire Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Cuban Bezos, who would you want to see a movie about. Yeah, I think the most interesting is the Tesla guy because his his you know, he's doing some crazy crap like wiring of the brain and stuff that's just like Terminator cyborg.

You know, he's all in and it's amazing. If it works, it's like it's one of those weird things about life, like if it works, it's like, man, that's amazing. And you think about people that are in wheelchairs that can't move and if you can wire the brains a certain way, you can move. And then the blind people that have never been able to see, and they think there's a way that you can wire the brain and these people will be able to see. And you're like, wow, that's great.

But then you think about what the technology from from Mr Musk there could could do the other thing. I mean, it could go the wrong way, right. That's the problem with technology. The nuclear technology is great unless people you don't like has it, and then it's suddenly not so great.

You know, it's like one of those twos. So, yeah, I saw that loud and proud in Social Dilemma, that Netflix documentary that talked about the connectivity of social media with Mark Zuckerberg and yeah, Facebook and all these social media applications that trace you, track you, and manipulate how you consume social media. Well, it's like that old idiom, all these old idioms come true. I like these old idioms. But one of them be careful what you wish for.

It just might get it. Yeah, be careful what you wish for. And it sounds so great social media, but there's a there's a dark side too. There's a CD side to it for sure. Are we gotta get out of here? Yes? Guess get all right? You gotta put the baby to bed. I have a great Saturday. Remember Benny versus the Petty every single NFL game against the Spread. It's a YouTube show. Now when you're down, watch it on YouTube. Click the thumb up. That helps us out.

Um and I know the numbers have been pretty good here. We're getting more people every week to watch it. We're trying to build that thing out. It's not through a big corporation. It's just us doing it. We don't have any ad budget. We have the links on the on there, but tell people about if they're into football, I want to hear a little gambling information on every game, marginal handicapping, Benny versus the Penny cameo, dot com as well all

social media. And that's that. We'll put the baby to bed, have a great day. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am eastern pm Pacific