On the Brink of Elimination

starts right now. That it does, and we are in the air everywhere, the avast power of my heart, the global reach of podcasting here, and we are back at it because we learned this last week that four hours or not enough. Of course last week it was zero hours. We're not enough, but we are back at it. Ben Maller and David Gascon not to be confused with this alter ego Gagon, which was given to him by the great Mike North, one of the great nicknames in radio history.

That we are about these days. Mike North. I think he's back on the air in Chicago. Actually does he. I think he's got a weekend show in Chicago. He does. He's like he's got his tentacles are all over the place.

Doctor are not Doc? I called him? Mike? You know, Mike, I think Chicago The first knee jerk reaction is Doc Mike actually was just I told you before we started doing this podcast that I just got a call from Doc Mike in Chicago who's convinced he's my personal doctor and he wants to give me some It's like he works for Kaiser or something. He wants to give me some care. But how many how many listeners have your telephone number? Uh, that's a good question. We had. Well,

Doc Mike's had it for the longest. Uh, there were a couple of other listeners, but Doc's the one that's the most abusive. Doc's the one that really, uh just calls me every weekn Uh, none stuff there we were. I think there's two other people I've given the number two, but they were actually well actually, now we were a friend in Maine who I met in Boston. Now she I didn't actually give her my number, her and her her guy Paul there. I didn't give her my number,

but I she was gonna send me. This is a funny. It was a great scams here guest gut. So She's like, Hey, I'm gonna send you, Um, I'm gonna send you this, uh this hat from from Maine. The minor league team right in Maine. And so I'm like, all right, whatever. Uh. And so I had to take a picture of my my business card which they gave me years ago, to to show her that hey, this is uh you know, this is important whatever, this is the address, send it here. And so she said, let me just take a picture

of it. And then uh, it turns out, of course she got a photo of my my number and uh occasionally will send me a text message. So I get that's the most recent one. But that was not an intentional act. That was not an intentional act. Since I do this this podcast for for free, Yeah, I think I'd be willing to share that telephone number. I wanna give that number out. Go ahead, guest. I have a great lawyer. I have a really good lawyer, So I would like to give you if you can, that would

be great. Yeah, I think that would be that would be wonderful. I need a little bit of extra money in the pockets, and uh, yeah, I think that'd be uh, I think that'd be great. For a good time. Call This number available eleven PM till five am. Ah. Alright, alright, anyway, listen, so we gotta get with on with the show here, you're distracting me. We have the menu today, We've got you have lots of gall We've got that mellow yellow tomato,

tomato elementary. It's the diet stupid, spanning the globe. Study this, it's in the bag. As we're listener questions and don't stick to sports stories of the week. So we have all those, we will throw them all together. We'll make some babaose. Alright, we're gonna start with this. Now, I'm gonna begin with it's all about me, Gascon. You love this type of broadcasting, do you not. It's uh, it's a little bit different than eulogy radio. You have different forms.

Some of it you are you are bombastic. A couple of days ago it was a great rout with the Houston Astros. Other times it's frankly just ejaculation radio because you have listeners that come on and profess their love to you. What's wrong with that? It's disgusting. And then you have and then you have staff members that just foam at the mouth because of you, which is a little annoying to um. But yes, it's just foaming, well, angry in anger, foaming the mouth. But no, no, no no, no, no, no.

Like Brian Finley loves you, he adores you. He's the exceptional. Brian Finley is like a Bennett. But Finley is like the one of the only Benett's that's in the building. Like everyone else is like, screw this guy's terrible, Get somebody else in there. I don't think that's true, especially when you're gone for a couple of days, like you took a week off for vacation purposes, just like, Yes, I booked myself at a four day four and a half days at a bed in bath in a hospital. Yes,

that's exactly what I did. Hashtag sleep number bed four nights at a hospital of your choice, unplanned, Yes, vacation. Oh, it's good to know that I had the sick time. I did not know that. Yeah, continue, I'm listen. It was it was a little empty of a feeling for you being gone for a week. Uh. I was actually a little shocked when I knew something was up, because I sent you a acid amount of Textas that usually will respond, you'll respond accordingly with a wow, or what

the hell you're sending me? Or this is disgusting. But all of a sudden, I got a text from another number that I didn't recognize and it was your better half and I was like, oh Ship, something's up. Halfway through the text message, I realized, oh Ship, something's up. And then I had the news broken to me and I was like, all right, jokes aside. I hope this guy's all right. Very very odd for you to do jokes aside. So anyway, I got a lot of email.

I told people on the radio show that I would spend more time here on the podcast talking about it for those that are interested. If you're not in, said, boy, this is gonna be one hell of a boring podcast. My god, is this going to be terrible if you don't care about this. But so as you know, we we didn't do the podcast last week. I did have the doctor's note if I can show you that gascon if you want, and uh, I did get rushed by my wife there to the emergency room on Friday. This

was November one. But to give you the backstory, so, I I had started feeling like shit the previous Sunday. I I felt pain like it was it was not good. I was on my way to actually Staplesenter. I was at a Laker Hornets game. Sitting in the near the Pearly gates there watching that game on a on a Sunday night, and I I figured it was acid reflux. So I self diagnosed myself. I wanted the internet and went to a couple of sites and I put my symptoms in and uh and I and they put it

all there. Whatever. So I treated it with my amish cure. It didn't get better this time. It didn't get better. Uh. It stayed bad but manageable. For several days. I the pain was continuing, and I did the show. Here's what the day I should win like some kind of award here. I did the show every night for five nights, withering in pain, right, And then on Thursday into Friday, I did the show normally or somewhat normals Halloween, you know, in the November one. I then went to the gym.

I've been working out all week. I did my workout. I was still in pain. And then I got home and actually started feeling a little better. And then around the time I went to bed, we attempted to go to bed. It's like seven in the mornings, maybe eight in the morning. Uh, and I just could not. It got worse. I couldn't get comfortable, and it was this throbbing like pain in my chest area. But it kind of felt like acid reflects to me, but it was it was pure agony. So anyway, here's how I ended

up going to the hospital. So I attempted to go to bed at approximately seven in the morning, all right. I then twisted and turned. I took showers and bass, I drank magical potions. My wife cooked up until six o'clock at night. I did not sleep on Friday. I was up from all four when I went when I woke up on Thursday ironically to do this podcast until Friday night at six, and I couldn't go to sleep then because I I I just was terrible. My wife

got medicine, I drank water. I did everything I could to feel better, and after twelve hours I got taken to the emergency room and I end up staying there for from Friday night till Tuesday afternoon. And in that time I had my gall bladder removed. That was Sunday during the late television window, so I did not get to watch well Baker Mayfield. Uh so that was I had a better day than him. As the year that joke goes. But but this is typically a pretty routine

medical procedure. That's the other thing. Guess gun. It is typically an in and out thing. But I hadlications. That's why I had to stay longer. And you know other people have this, they're out the same day. But because my gall bladder was such a such a mess that it was pretty much just a collection of gall stones loosely hanging together and ready to fall apart and wreck havoc on the enters of my body, they considered actually

a second medical procedure. That's one of the reasons they didn't operate the first time, because I still I had gall stones, they thought messing around, so they were gonna a procedure before the other procedure. Uh. And there was a team of doctors trying to figure out how to fix all this. And it makes you feel very good. It makes you feel very good. But that's that's the backstory on how this all down. Well, and you want to medal for this, which is I want a purple heart.

It's a little mind boggling because I saw you that Sunday night and I actually offered to go to Whole Food to get you some probiotics or some tons. You said, no, well that wouldn't have worked. Stupid, I know, but I'm just I'm just saying, oh, yeah, says the guy that way in a week after self diagnosing him having gall stones, which I I has been, my wife said that it's been compared one of her friends. Uh as, it's compared to like the paint agony of childbirth, but worse. Yeah,

it's like kidney stones. But your wife also recommended that you went to the doctor a week prior to you actually go into the er room. So the fact that you want to medal because two people recommended a little bit of a remedy and you ignored both. Well, in fairness, my wife always recommends going to the doctor, So it's not that's her default. You'll go with the doctor. Check it out. Why. I think her occupation has something to do with it. She does work in trauma. Possibly that

could be the case. Alright, So moving out, we got mellow yellow tomato. Tomato. This is continuing. It's all about my gall bladder. I'm not done with the gall black. I know I was gonna ask you, do you have a souvenir. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox Sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live. Uh we'll get to that, all right. So there were two times during all of this medical malady that I thought

I was actually in some peril. All right, now, Normally I don't think, you know, come on, I'm gonna be fine no matter what. But when now, when my wife dragged me to the emergency room and they started to examine me, this is the first moment that I thought, oh, oh shit, this is this is not good. The e R doctor said I was turning jaundice. That for those that don't know, that means you're you're the whites of your eyes and the skin start turning yellow. Yeah. Uh

and uh. And I had a flashback because one might my mom passed away a number of years ago from from cancer and she she had I remember when she started getting worse her skin, she started turning jaundice at the end before she passed away, And uh, it freaked me out. I was like, oh, you know, I didn't I said much, but on the inside, I'm like, oh crap, Like this is uh I was. I was like wow, and but apparently it's common when you have extreme gall stones like I had, and you do go an entire

a week without treating them. Um, And so that that freaked me out. And the other thing that freaked me out was the nurses and the doctors. They wanted me. They wanted me to pee into a cup like I was an NFL player doing steroids, and they wanted me to know, to examine my urine and all that stuff. So, um, which is what you have to do in any of these situations. So and my, my, my, my urine. Guest,

you're very fascinated. It's been a little darker than normal, which is apparently a sign that your body is screwed and dehydrated. Yeah, but on that Saturday night, now I was alone more on this for a few hours. So yeah, there's nothing more dangerous than when you're alone. Your mind plays the mind tricks on you, especially in the hospital. And that was the day the time change happened. So at an extra hour that night in the hospital, which

is even better. So I piste into the cup and I turned on the light and it looked handed god like tomato juice. I was urinating V eight and uh, you know, my wife had gone home because she couldn't spend the night because the hospital had rules. Uh, so she couldn't stay. I was all alone, and my mind started playing, you know, walking away. I went on the phone and I looked up you know what happens when your urine looks like tomato juice? You know? Uh that

was a mistake. And after I read a few things on the internet, I was convinced I was gonna die. And then around if it was. It was late at night, but my mother in law, who's she had text me to see how I was doing. She's a very very she's had a big careers. E ar nurse in l A and uh we get along good. And she she texted me and I was like, well, my I tried texting my wife, but she was sleeping, so I was like, hey, it looked like blood, but you know she she was

freaking out too. But then it turned out that it was apparently other crap that was looked like blood but was not as bad as blood. I do you know what Billy Reuben is, guest gun Uh yeah, I didn't either until this, but apparently there the Billy Ruben levels uh in your body from your gall bladder. If you have excessive billy Ruben in your system that causes this to happen. And so it's supposed to be for the average human being, it's supposed to be below one. My

billy reuben was almost nine. Oh my god. Yeah, it was a bad situation. But hey, I learned what. I don't need it, and I don't think I do. I have the billy Reuben still. I don't think I do because I don't have my gall bladder anymore. But yeah, like billy Reuben is a yellowish substance made during the body's normal process of breaking down red blood cells. There

you go. Yeah, so that's that that The billy Reuben level was through the roof, and they messed with everything, like the whole thing, and I'm like, oh man, it's brutal, alright, that we've got elementary. Also, you're listening to the fifth Hour, but you know that already, the elementary part. So I spent four nights and not the brad guest gun four nights and a part of a fifth day at the hospital. And this is not the vacation I needed or I wanted.

I didn't notice though, that for the first time in my life since I was in elementary school or junior high school. Time slowed down like it's slowed down when I was in the hospital. I flashed back when I was in Northwood Elementary School and in the o C. And I would watch the clock slowly tick forward and and and plus. As I said, I had the good fortune of spending the extra hour in the infirmary and all that. I mean, it was. It was crazy this

and that. Everyone says the same thing. You cannot sleep in hospitals. I noticed that they took my vitals, Uh, they messed with my had and I v gon and or they take my blood one of those things every hour at least at night and then but during the day it didn't seem to happen as often. The main problem, though, is I did not have a private room. I had a shared experience guest, older, younger, all older men, three older men. I had roommates. Now, you know, I think

about I was there long enough. Three different people came and left the hospital. Well I was there, that's a good sign. Yeah. And now there were two guys that had knee replacement operations. The other guy, who actually was the nicest of the guys was he had an anal fisher. He tore his anal spincter about that. He had a good attitude about got The guy was upset because he's a Raider fan, and he said that he had a big party plan for the Raiders game that day against

I think they're playing the Lions. And he and he had all his food he had bought and all this stuff for this party, all these guys, you know, he's a Mexican guys. All these guys are coming to my house, you know, and he blew the old ring. Yeah. Yeah, but he was like, he had a very good attitude about He was, you know, smiling and we're talking back and forth. The the other guys. Yeah, not that so much much older than me, that all these guys are older than me. But the other guys were really older

than me. And it was, Yeah, it's just weird because you're you're not antisocial, but you're an introvert. So for you to want somebody around or or critique the people that are around you because they're not nice or not talkative, it's a little it's a little bit of a mix bag, don't you think, Well, I'm not looking to have a wonderful, heart felt conversation. I just want someone that's not a dick. That's that's all. Or not, you know, it doesn't snore.

I mean I couldn't sleep because I had my ear you know, I had my ear plugs, but they really work. And then they had, you know, people snoring and farting, and you know, it's wonder It's like sleeping next to hollering. James. Yeah, it's like it's like being on a retreat or like on a boy scout trip or something like that. And they were back in the day. I just a bunch of punks in a in a bunk bed. Now, were you thinking of any monologues while you were just laying

bedridden that was going through your mind outside of dying? Said, I was trying to keep track of what was going on in sports. I did see like the Kauhi Leonard load management. I said, that would have been great. I could have done like a two hours on load management if I had been on there because he missed a thing it's like the fourth game of the year or something like that. That would have been good. And there were a couple of things I was like, I wish I had been you know, but the other times I

was like, I don't really care about that. You know, I got, I got my own problems. But what kind of drugs did you take? Uh? Yeah, well we'll get to that. Uh. They gave me a bunch of ivs. I took morphine. Morphine actually when I got to the hospital and give me morphine. That actually helped pass the gall stone because it opens up the tubes in your

body there. And I thank God for the morphine because otherwise they would have had to have a second medical procedure and that would have they would have knocked me out twice and not cut me open. That correct me if I'm wrong. But I know on kidney stones they can they can shoot it with a laser. Can they do that with with gall stones or no? I don't think so. I I don't know, but uh, I want to address on the email I got. I gotta ask a lot of questions, a lot of questions people. Some jackasses.

I think they're your your friends against We're like, it's your diet man suits you you you this intermitted Fasting said something too, something about your past. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well well so anyway, so these smarty pants, okay, uh, these smarty pants who seemed to believe that my inner minute fasting is to blame for all this. That is fake news. That is fake news. I talked to the doctor before and after the operation they gotta cut me up, and he said the diet, that part of the diet

had nothing to do with Uh. This was a case of my you know, the chickens coming home to roost. And I owe you from when I was in my twenties and my early thirties and I ate ship. Every night. I would be at Dodger Stadium eating ballpark food, or I'd go to Tommy's for chili cheese fries in the middle of the night, or go pick up a ten pack of tacos on the way home from some fast food joy. I mean, that's that's where this came from. It did not happen since I got married. Actually, I've

eaten better. I still only great, but I've eaten a lot better than when I was single and I was a bachelor and I would just eat whatever ship I could get my hands on. It was cheap, I didn't care. It was quantity over quality and all this stuff. So but this is this is all about my bad eating habits when I was younger. It's paid me back in spades here. And uh, I've often said at some point that this will happen. I didn't think it would happen yet. I thought I'd get a few more years before this

this stuff started happen. Well, yeah, and of course it's better to happen now when you're when you're up and healthy relatively speaking, and you're exercising and you're always working, as opposed to later on your years, where yeah, something like this could be a severe medical emergency and then you're tapped out your six under. Yeah, I mean you can it doesn't happen at all, but you can die from the gall Black people have died from this, if

you know. So. Fortunately, obviously, I guess I think I'm still here alive. I don't know, maybe I'm in a parallel universe here. I had no idea that just did the mrs take any good selfies? She took a couple of pictures of me, and I looked like death warmed over. Yeah, in the hospital, but then those are not for public consumptions, So unfortunately told her, I said, no photos. I don't

need people to see me in here. I'm good, you know, because I I know any photo of me in the hospital would have resulted in seven thousand memes, you know, and I don't need that ship because they would have continued forever. I was probic a little bit. Yeah, I'm sure you were. I'm sure you be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show week days at two a m. Eastern. Now the good news there is

a positive. There's two positives that came out all this. Okay, we'll put we'll end my goal talk here, but there's two things that are very positive. I already started to resume my INTERNI minute fasting. Uh. And one of the great things about this is I set what I believe is an unbreakable record for fasting. Okay, because I was. I was on a fast when I got taken inter

minute fast. When I got taken to the emergency room, I had not eaten since Thursday, Halloween night, and it was Friday, November one, So I didn't eatn in about a day over a day. Uh. And I go to the emergency room and then they wouldn't let me eat or drink water because I they at any moment I was gonna be taken into the operating room, so you

can't have food or water. So and then they didn't want to operate because there were complications with my gall stones and that's why I was in the hospital for song. So so anyway, I ended up going ninety hours in seven minutes. I think I sent you a screen shot, guess gun. Ninety hours in seven minutes between between meals, and for much of that I didn't even have what normally I just drink a lot of water, So it's not that big a deal. I had my stomach is full.

But I went ninety hours and seven minutes without eating food. That's pretty good. And uh, were you thinking about food though at all? Uh? No, I always not. At the beginning, I wasn't because I was in pain, I wasn't thinking about it. And then at the end, I was just trying to get out of the hospital, so I wasn't

really thinking about it. I was. I was worried about the surgery and all that, but um, I was less than six hours away from four full days without eating my own personal hunger strike guest gon and then the other thing that I'm so happy about it, and I'm like, I should put this in my book when I write my book some day is from the moment I went into the hospital to the moment I came out of But four days I lost eight pounds. I lost eight pounds. How great is that? Eight pounds in four days gone?

You lost your gall bladder. Well, that doesn't weigh eight pounds. The gall bladdersn't weigh that well with you. You never know, you didn't say. He did say, it's the spades of your of your bad days in your twenties and your early thirties. So yeah, you never know. Uh, you know. I was not that bad. But to answer your other question, I did not get an offer to take the gall bladder because it was really not a gall bladder anymore. It was just a collection of gall stones. It was

like a be taking a cup of sand from the beach. Uh. I want to ninety plus hours on a fast. That's pretty damn good, especially when your bedridden, tune you have nothing else to do. Um, But what a lonely feeling to you for a while, you said, because the misses was out and so you're by your lonesome, and just as you said, self medicate and self diagnosed. That's a dangerous feeling, especially when when something serious like this is not like your tonsils or your pendix or a broken

bone or a bust attendant. This is your gall bladders. So yeah, man, I I felt bad for you. I felt now you were sending me messages. Why did you do the show from the hospital. Well, things like that. That's compelling radio, though, that's compelling that people live to see things like that. You don't do. You don't do blissful radio. Money through Friday day positive, Well it might be positive, but it's train wreck radio that that people love to see a good car crash. And this is

exactly what it was. This is this is Buster, your Douglas versus Mike Tyson, like you kind of sweet shot to the chin and you're down. Yeah, you were down for the mighty Casey struck out. But at least you have another at bat. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I

Heart Radio app. Alright, moving on, guest, I'm very positive to thank you for that very kind spanning the globe, spanning we will be thrill of victory, the agony of defeat human drama of athletic competition. So I will be doing something I've not done all the time. I will be pretending to be a TV person because of you, Gascon, You've dragged me into your dark underbelly. On Friday night. Depending on when you hear this podcast, we might have

already done this. But Friday night, I will put on my Kendall outfit and I will do a little TV action, Right, Gascon? What are we doing at high school football game? Is that correct? You're You're gonna be suited and booted to the fullest. And as you would say, it's on Fox, see you better watch? Yeah right? Yeah, well of course you know, and who loves high school football in me? And I'm like that guy that used to work at the six nineties John Kintera back into the coach, the

coach mr high school Football. But yeah, this is gonna be fun. So it's a high school playoff game, not just a regular season game. It's a playoff games. And it's two of the best teams in southern California and one of members of the Trinity League and the other ones out of Corona Centennial High School, which has usually had some top prospects go to the college and then to the National Football League. Yeah, so I was doing

my show prep. I know you don't do a show prep for the game, but I saw Vontes Berfect went to Centennial back in the day. But you didn't know that them in and then j Jay Sarah they're in, Like that's the I didn't even know that conference. That's the toughest. The Trinity Conference, he called the Modern Day and all those Catholic schools in Orange County that recruit players. Yeah, that's like, that's more competitive than the Pack twelve. It is.

In fact, some Modern Day has got Bryce Young, who's the quarterback transferring or he's not transferring. He was. He was committed to USC de committed from there. He's going to Alabama. And then also Satan John Bosco has a quarterback they're getting moving to Clemson after this year. His name is dj wang La Le six five to Yeah, he's a dual sport athlete to baseball and football, so he's going to Clemson. But be these offensive linemen for all these schools are like two eighty two nine pounds.

Seems that way when I played back. Yeah, but these guys have muscle and it can move and have agility athleticism. So it's this receiver for centennials apparently total study. Yeah, Gary Bryant, Bryant is going Where is he going? USC or somewhere like they's getting recruited by everybody too. Yeah. I called the game of his back in like Week four against Liberty from Las Vegas. Dude caught four touchdown

passes in the first half. Yeah, that's pretty good. Listen, and I will give you a piece of advice, since we're going from your domain to mine, stay in your later and do your John. I'm gonna be like Ron Santo, you know when he the late Ron Santo, when he would talk over the play by I've consulted with my my counsel on this, Tom Looney, who has told me to.

So we used to talk about this years ago when I did the Blitz Looney on Sundays and we'd interview all these play by play guys and commentators for Fox, and we always said, well we could do that. I mean, it's pretty pretty simple, no big deal, you know. And and so so Looney I told him I was texting the other day, I said, you know, guesscon is gonna be I'm doing some high school game on Friday night, and guess Gon's giving me the rap and all that stuff, and you know, give me the what's going on or

or Looney. Uh he was telling me he was gonna so anyway. Uh, Loony's like, all right, you got both teams got played hard, you know, bring your a game, you know, and he's give me all these cliches that I gotta work out, these generic football terms that I have to throw out there. Half time adjustments, nothing's changed more in my I will use that line. Guess got nothing's changed more in my life time than halftime adjustments that will be said when we start the second half.

My style Gascon will be a mix of John Madden early Madden, Tony Romo, I'll mix him and there Paul McGuire, a forgotten broadcast ABC. Yeah. Uh, and I'll mix that with like Homer Simpson. All right, I'll mix that with Homer Simpson. So, and people can actually watch this. They have to pay for it, guests, No, it's free charge. It's on the Fox Sports Go app. So, so if you're outside r l A or even in l A, you can watch this on the app. You can check

it out. Yeah, and so here's the kicker on, well, how do you get to the game, because people are stupid? How can you find it? On? You go to the Fox Sports Go app. You're simple. You just sign up for that's it, Yeah, Fox Sports Go. And then at the top usually there's a magnifying glass or a search icon and you just type in either centennial or J Sarah. So it's J and then s E R R A. It's one word, but it's Jay Sarah, so it'll pop up.

And here's the other thing too. I don't know if you're aware of this, is that depending on how the game goes, like production wise, competit of nature and on stuff, it could be like the NFL and the Sunday NFL Pass were certain games they'll go from CBS or Fox and they get flexed. They get flexed to the nightcap. Well, if our game is good, we'll get flexed out and we'll be on Fox Sports West or Fox Sports Prime Ticket.

How about that? Great? You know I was on Fox Sports Prime Ticket years ago when Steve Mason and John Ireland's morning show was simulcast and I hosted that show one day and also guest Gone Before Your Time. I was a regular contributor in an Evergreen TV program where we we looked back at great moments in sports and all that stuff, and that aired on Fox Sports Network for like six years or something like that as filler programming. They have nothing else, which is what that reminds me.

You also, with all those personalities that you're bringing in, you're also gonna bring in the flavor of Bruce Arians too, right, Yeah, I am planning on wearing the Arians cap. That is my plan because otherwise that people will just goof on my hairline. I've me and Lebron have the same hairline, so I think I'm going to do that. That's my plan. I'm looking forward to this Gascon. It'll make me seem like I'm more of an expert, you know, I'll do that.

I might even leave my glasses on. I probably won't. I have very self conscious about that, but but it'll make me seem more educated. Who is the who was the skipper for the Miami Marlins or the Florida Marlins at the time when they won the world Seriously, Jack McKinnon, Yeah, Jack mckinn, I'm sure you should have a instead of a pocket square, you should have a cigar in your breastpo Yes, that would be really really good. I'm all about the Well, I am excited. Guesscon I hopefully we

can destroy this. It's high school football. How could I destroy it? I've you know, it's very simple. And see, unlike you bringing me here, I'm bringing you there and getting you paid. Well, I have not gotten a check yet, and we don't know that I will actually get a check. And I have done gigs where people have promised me money and I haven't gotten the money. So until I actually get a deposit of money into my bank account,

I will not congratulate you and thank you at all. Okay, because i've heard Hey, oh I don't I never got your information. We can't pay you that kind of thing. I've gotten that. I'm happy that you got the permission slip in the wifey, I was a little I was a little apprehensive about asking since you were bedridden for a couple of days. But happy that now she's excited. She's I think she's planning on attending also, like doing stats or something like that. She knows nothing about stats,

but pretend she's in charge of the stats. Well, fair enough, Well, I'm happy you guys are coming along. It'll be a short trip for you from coming from Arizona too, So you're all good. Yeah. I was worried because when you said there, you said, hey, there's some game. I don't know which game it is. We don't know the game yet. I'm thinking you're gonna have me driving out to like Big Bear, Santa barber or something like that would have

been a great weekend for the wife. Well, they paid for the hotel room, it would do really Yeah, that would have been damn. Why couldn't we do a game in Santa Barbara? And now you want for a hotel? I work in radio and I don't to pay for anything in radio. What are you talking about? Wow? Alright, moving on study this? Are you ready for studying this? These your actual studies by actual mostly universities, and they take a look at some of the more interesting things

in life. I get a kick out of these things. I know most of them are bullshit. So the way this works is will give the study and then we will decide whether or not we believe it or we don't believe it, whether or not it's bullshit or it's legit. And the first study up here involves basic human rights. All right, this comes out of England and there's a study done. According to this new study that internet access is such a vital part of the human experience that

it is right there with food and shelter. It should be a basic human right, according to a study published by the University of Birmingham in England. How about that. Yeah, this is study and this person that they determined if only a certain percentage of the world's population has access to the Internet, well others, particularly those in developing nations, do not. It undermines these people's basic human rights, an ability to live a minimal decent minimally decent live. Well,

shout out globalists. Yeah, I have to come on. I mean, I love the Internet, but at times I wonder what my life would be like without it. You know, maybe it would be better, more positive. Yes, I I don't. I don't have to log into Twitter and say, hey, asshole, fuck you. The astros are great. I don't worry about that, you know what I'm saying? Hashtag blessed. Uh here's a selfie with me waking up in the morning and I just poured myself a coffee. Life is great. Plus, you know,

you know, spoiler alert. Most people on the internet are not trying to become better people. They're trying to post selfies of their ass to get a boyfriend on on Instagram. Not that I'm complaining about that, but yeah, they're trying to get paid exactly. So I mean, come on, now, what what are we doing here? Right? It's it's it's ridiculous. Anyway, what else do we have it? Study? This? These our actual studies as songs for the heart. Listening to instrumental

music while driving eases cardiac stress? Do we believe this or we do not believe this? Um? I think I believe it, because, well, what do you listen to when you go to the gym? I usually have the the TV. I watched TV more than I don't usually listen to music. I'm watching the TV. What do you what do you listen to when you drive from Arizona to the studio h Hodgepodge of podcast radio And then I'll listen to some some music from time to time. Also I'll mix

it in, but it's just you know whatever. I've got some songs on my phone usually listen to those off I'll go on like Amazon Music because my wife's got Amazon Prime, and I'll put something in there. I'm always curious to what people listen to when they're in the car,

especially here in l A or maybe New York. Um, I'm one of those guys were all listened to like fast music, Like I'll listen to house or trance or something like that when I'm driving and it makes me go faster obviously, or I listened to believe it or not. Like movie soundtracks. I like movies soundtracks too, because your life becomes the movie. Yeah, your life becomes away. So like when you play like classical music and stuff. It's like because in movies when they when they have the

background music, it's often just classical. There's no vote, no words or anything like. Yeah. Absolutely, So when I'm in the gym, if I need to get in and out, I listened to Batman Begins. I'll listen to that sound track. You know in some of those streaming services they have whatever. John william John Williams has put out almost all of that stuff, right, Hans Zimmer. Hans Zimmer's got the yeah so that I don't listen to Star Wars, but Top Gun, the Rocky sound tracks, those are all good back in

the day. Right, yeah, oh yeah, those are great. It's all listen to that stuff depending and then if when you slow things down, I'll listen to a show down track, just because the music mixture is a little bit different. So I got a big blend though of music like alternative rock. And look at you patting yourself on the back with a humble brag about how you listen to all kinds of music. Well, I just tried to have a different environments than a man. You know, I don't

listen to podcast at the time. I gotta diagnose what you're sucking up on on this podcast. So alright, A lot of people, by the way, last week thought you fucked up because at the end you put all these bloopers on and people didn't know what they were and they were like, wow, this is amateur hour. Yeah, and you said, and I quote, you gotta make sure you explain this to our audience because they're a bunch of idiots. End quote. I did did you explain it to the audience?

Are you playing open saying he it's blooper time? But I think it's better that way that they don't know what's going on. This is what's all about Yeah, okay, I love the emails. You know, guess going he left up the podcast man just gonna screwed it up. He left all your bloopers in it. Okay, it was pretty damn funny. Alright, I blame the yoga pants. Well who I don't know any man that doesn't love yoga pants. But apparently this is right, isn't. This comes out of

Portland or in Portland State University. You find that pollutants known as micro plastics are being detected in oysters and razors razor clams along the Oregon coast, and they've determined this is great. Yoga pants are for fox sake, I know, right, Come on, these people should be kicked out forget anyway, kick him out of the country. The researchers claimed that yoga pants, please jackets, and other sweat absorbing clothes frequently

warned by Pacific Northwesterners, are contributing to the local plastic problem. Yeah. I don't plan on going to Portland, Oregon anytime soon, but I'll tell you this much. If you are a male or even a female, if you're wearing yoga pants, it's usually in spots like l A, Orange County New York, Boston, UM, Florida, like down South Beach, Tampa. Maybe, I mean, yeah, that that does that does a body good. Well, it does

a body good when it's the right body. But I think we've all seen situations where does not necessary you know, not necessary. You know what I'm saying. Well, whatever makes a woman feel sexy. Yeah, but you know you gotta Yeah, there are limits, There are limits, there are, but you know what, fuck it. Who cares you want it all for? I'm I'm I think it's one of the great inventions right up there with the remote control and power. Yes, yoga pants, one of the great inventions at right time. Alright,

so we have virtual pain, virtual competition. Uh, this is this is great, so real injuries. Sports medicine, the according to study, has to adapt to the dangers all wait for it, E sports, yes, E sports. Coding to new study, researchers say that excessive numbers of hours E sports athletes typically spend practicing is taking a physical toll on them carpal tunnel, resulting in a variety of physical, psychological and uh met a ball like ailments. I can believe that.

And uh yeah, so they're going through the whole thing here. Tournaments. Uh, these things sell out and whatnot, and there big crowds, very popular in the you know, people watching this stuff, they love it. Were you a gamer back in the day, Uh? Yeah, but I played like Duck Hunt, I mean that was my Yeah, I played games. But these games are out of but three. They said, the average e gamer, the pro gamer plays three to ten hours every day, three or ten hours every day, and they average five hundred

and six hundred in game action minutes per minute. Yeah, I mean that. When I went to San Diego State, we would spend about six seven hours a night playing video games. But which was actually ingenious too, because the more time we spent playing video games, the less time we spent in the bar wasting money. So we would play games all night and then around eleven or eleven thirty, after done playing video games and maybe some dominoes, then we'd go to the club or then we'd go to

the bar. And usually that time it's the best time because you get the stragglers. You go when they come out, and you know, it's like the inter and out service, so you're set up. Yeah, it's pretty good, especially have no standards, so you're good. Well, I have standards, it's just that they're different levels at different times to day. I understand. I mean you're closing time a four becomes

an eight. Well yeah, but in something California, usually four here is usually like a ten in you know, like Illinois or Iowa. Yeah, people listening in Iowa in Illinois stupid? Who cares? They care? Yeah, but they know they know what I saw when I was in Indianapolis years ago. You just busted on women that wear yoga pants that might not need to wear those. Well, yeah, but that could be in anywhere. That could be in Miami or l A or anywhere then, not to be just Iowa.

But I was in Indiana, Indiana, and they were beautiful women in Indiana years Like I was walking, I just couldn't believe it. This is crazy or yeah, Bloomington, No, it is in Indianapolis. And there were a bunch of colleges in Indianapolis. But I was like I, I you know, I didn't. I've never been there before. I didn't know what to expect us. I could be a bunch of ugly people, but there they were good looking people. Did

you meet anybody, Uh No, of course not. I did not. I. I did eat the most expensive meal I've ever eaten. That was when the Lakers and Pacers played in the NBA Finals. We went to Stay No St. Elmo's Steakhouse and my friend I had the surf and turf, but I had to had a big steak. I even really like steak that much, but I I this thing was it was. The meal was almost like a grand It was crazy. So how did you funk up the steak? Did you put sauce on it? Oh? Catch up, pepper,

catching you a one steak, sauce, catchup? Whatever I could do? Well done? Yah? Yeah. Yeah. It's always great when you're going to a high end steak joint and you say, hey, can you burn it? Burn and baby burn. They really like that. They love that. You can't get enough of that big the big fans of that. You should try it. Sometimes it's embarrassing, all right. Uh. This one came from our friend in Iowa. Let me see here, we have give the proper credit, because if we don't give the

proper predit gask on, people get very upset here. And they Bill in Iowa set this one in. He wanted us to talk about this and I love that guys are now feeding his content for the fifth hour. Uh it's like having a producer and uh it's pretty good. But anyway, here's the study and it's about sleep. And this is by something I should use during a sleep

number commercial, but I'm not. I'm using it here and uh it's like, I guess a warning sign to me is people who sleep for fewer than five hours a night have significantly shorter telomeres than those who get an adequate seven hours of sleep. That's according to a new study. Apparently this causes problems if you don't have a lot of telemore's telomeres. I think I'm saying that right. And uh so they've done a bunch of research showing how consumers sleep trackers can shine a light on the cost

of not getting enough sleep. Now I do not get enough sleep, probably five nights a week, and then two nights I get plenty of sleep. I don't think it matters, but yeah, that's the life of doing overnight radio and having stuff to do during the day. Are you is your room straight black or do you have blinds that have a little crack? No? No, no, no. We One thing I've invested in is I have two layers of blackout curtains. I have a window tint on the windows.

I have hotel high end, hotel level darkness. When I'm sleep, I do. And that's one thing I'm very proud of. It's like a dungeon in there. And it's the only because I go to bed the sun's and when i'm in I'm in near Vegas, apparently it's really hot. It's boiling hot. So yeah, but it's also the fact that you don't go to bed till like eight or nine o'clock. When you get off at three, Well, I go to the gym uh and then wind down after the gym, and I have some responsibilities that I have to do,

and then once that's done, I go to bed. You have a very stressful life. It's self imposed stress. No, it's all right. I mean I'm not. It's fine. I don't. I don't feel higher or anyway. When I do these stupid podcasts, I feel tired because I get even less sleep to get up to do this. Dude, these once a fucking a week. Yeah, but that's a very busy, very busy day, all right. I mean, you're you're gonna

send me over the edge. You remember last week you sent me to the hospital gascon people pointing out that, and they probed into the podcast and you asked me about about you ever had an operation and I said, no, I've never had a major operation. And uh, today two days later chopping me open. Thank you gas Well you got a war wound. Now it feels so weird. They glued me back. They took the stitches or the staples out and they put glue in there. So I'm literally

glued together. That is amazing. And you have the stitches removed to you, right, or they took they took the stitches out on the other cuts. But they cut me open four times, four places to do the gall stone thing. But the one in the top is the big one. They really ripped my skin apart on that one. Listen,

you gotta promised me this. Then the next time you go to the hospital for something, can you at least bring me along for some play by play when you play by calling oscarpy Next year, I will do your play by play. We'll just think big guest. Once this Friday night high school football game goes well, like we'll be partners next year, right, I mean we'll be doing this every week? How great will that be? Come on?

And if I move up to a higher rank, God forbid if I have to use any of this work as a real Alright, moving on, it's in the bag. These are listener messages posted on our Facebook page Ben Mallard Show every Thursday mornings during the week. I post I say, hey, we're probably gonna be doing the podcast later. Send some questions in, and listeners have done that. The

first one comes from Dan and Kalamazoo. Now Calamazoo's in my top ten city nameless with beaver Dam and Punk Sitani and Rancho Kucamonga and in those places, So I like Calamazoo. Dan and Kalamazoo writes, and he says, what is the longest you've got? This is appropriate? What is the longest you've gone without sleep? He says, He says, gag on too. I guess, well, I don't have an exact number of hours, Dan, but I do know the longest I went with sleep is when I again for work.

I was working at the NBC Sports Network years ago, and and they fly me out one week a month to Stanford, Connecticut from l A. And I at that time I was doing the weekend overnight show. So I did the weekend overnight show on a Saturday into a Sunday. Uh, and then I did the Blitz on Sunday afternoon. So I didn't get much talking about two hours of sleep on Saturday night, got up to do the Blitz and then I rushed to l a X to take a red eye into JFK. And then they took a car

service drove me to Connecticut to do the thing. And but the problem was on Monday, we had production meetings. Pretty much as soon as I got to to the that area, I had to go to a production meeting for that night show. So I did not sleep, and uh, I could not, and so I'm amazed I did not fall asleep like Mike Francesa on on television. But I went, I would say roughly by time I finally went to sleep.

I remember one of the times I didn't even go to sleep that night because I had a room near an elevator, and then the elevator kept waking me up. But I would say I went probably about sixty hours, but not sixty over fifty, certainly over fifty hours without sleep. What about you, Gasca, Well, I've had a couple of them, but they're mostly Vegas benders, drug related. I understand. I

went thirty two hours twice in Vegas for a bachelor party. Um, I actually went twenty eight hours at Fox Sports Radio and uh, and I got rated out by a colleague here too for doing that. I oddly enough, I worked a day shift at Fox, went to UC rivers side to call a basketball game that night, and then Dan Bayer had called me up because, um, oddly enough, timing wise, uh, Eddie and his wife. Eddie's wife had a medical emergency

and so he had a go to the hospital. And so Dan and asked me to fill in for for Eddie, and so I filled it on your show. And the show schedule is different from yours because yours a four hour slot. Well, I have to work two shifts, so it's two shows, which is nine hours. So at a daytime to get my little make it, my little violin out at a daytime shift, I'll call the basketball game. Came back here, and then the morning anchor she comes in a little later than normal, which you're supposed to

be doing, like an hour early. She comes in like just before you need to be on air. I had to stay around the entire time. And when I got off at six am, traffic had built up in downtown Los Angeles and on the west side of town. SAW was stuck an hour traffic getting back home, and so I didn't fall asleep until like nine or ten. So I was a full like twenty eight hours. By the by the way, I just had an epiphany guest on

that I the longest I stayed away. It just happened in April when I got flown back to do the Boston w e I Show, and I had a listener part and I had no time. I was doing two shows. I was doing the night show in Boston, the overnight show, and I'm like, I love Boston. I was one of my favorite cities. I love going around. Is a lot to you know, check out history in Boston. And I was there all week and I all I did was go to from the hotel room to UH to UH

the radio station. And I was like, what the hell, man, you know what I mean, this is a great city. So I had an evening, like a late afternoon flight on Friday, but I did the overnight show Friday night, you know, Thursday night and Friday morning and then I just said, you know what, screw it, I'm gonna stay awake. I'm gonna go walk around Boston. And it was kind of a chilly morning in April, and I'm gonna go walk around. So I I did. I stayed awake, and then I thought I was gonna be able to sleep

on the flight. I couldn't sleep on the flight. I was too jammed in the flight. I couldn't fall asleep. So I stayed awake. That was I think that was probably the longest I stayed away. By the time I finally got to sleep late at night Friday in l a uh, that was probably well over fifty hours. But see Boston and New York. You can do that. Like I take red Eyes to New York. And part of the reason for that is when I arrive in New York with it's LaGuardia or JFK, I have Flint Newark once.

People don't like New Ork, no, not at all, but you feel juiced up when you land in New York. There's just something about that city that never sleeps. You're just you were just juiced up. You can just do whatever, and obviously you can walk around and eat and drink whatever at any time of the day. Of course out here in the West Coast. You can do that in Las Vegas. But yeah, it's a good reason. Boston's a really fun city to be in. No matter. I love

Boston and they've been very good to me. The people of Boston been cool and uh, we have the same attitude. We're all assholes, so they're called they call them massholes, but I'm just an assholes. Oh yeah, to do it. I love their attitude. Do you still like them after they fired you? They didn't fired me. I was forced to leave, idiot because we are shows now on the Sports Hub and amazingly, they will not let us work

on both radio stations in Boston. There's apparently compete clause in these contracts that are beyond my pay grade and all that. But but but yeah, the people of Boston pretty pretty. I love to find when I did that the Red Sox postgame, Uh that two years I was doing it, and the Red Sox would be like a streak of like nine wins in twelve games and people would be like that, dad fucking good trade. Jackie Bradley, that guy can't be had. Dual m vps that year.

J d. Martinez and Mookie Batts. Yeah, they did that when he won the World Series. Apparently they were who knows if they were begging on drums like the Astros. I'm sure those videos will likely come out at some point. I don't know what they were doing, but the But anyway, all right, moving on, it is in the bag. Will do a few more of these, and I know we also have for your dancing and dining pleasure we have. Don't stick to sports. Glenn says, when since when is

weed Man hippie allowed back on the show? Well, Glenn, real quick for that, you missed the show when I came back from the hospital. While I was in the hospital, weed Man apologized. He sent me an email apologizing for his actions. But is this was this apology coming because he felt like he was giving you last rights? Probably, but he apologized and then he's like he for well, I have unlike you, I have empathy. But he apologized. I was like, I have to do with anything. I

don't know. He's been listening the whole time. Anyway, he just doesn't call in and it's killing him. They're not call in. But did you did you have an epiphany? Though? Like I feel like you should start abolishing some callers, like like Chris and Houston, like that guy should never be allowed to call your show again after he tucktailed and ran from the World Series. Yeah, and like Chris is, so he's such a cool a drinker. Like this Astro

scandal came out this week. There was a video that popped up of them blatantly banging a trash can when there was a breaking ball, and uh, it was like, yeah, yeah, anyway, and so I put the video Chris says, oh it was edited video. You can't even hear it, and then hand the god guest And there's like seven hundred videos that are out now in different games in including the World Series, of the Astros either using banging a trash can or or a whistle. It's hilarious. Chris like, well,

I was editing. It was one time. I don't think that you know, they didn't do it in the World the World Series. Even Cooper Loop was like, but there's no video of them in the World Series doing it. Then the next day the video showed up. There you go, wonderful. Can we be a party to a class actual lawsuit? Gasc on for for get get some money out of that.

We're gonna get some things happening in social media, Like social media is gonna find out the World Series in two thousand and seventeen was should be played under protest because the Astros cheated, And somehow, some way Twitter is gonna find out who really killed Jeffrey Epstein. Well, they're trying. I got a prediction somebody's gonna put video out saying

that the Dodgers also cheated in the World Series. That's my prediction that that someone will come up with some video of something and clinch to the Dodgers were doing it too. Uh. Well, maybe I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that somebody in the Astros organization is gonna try to come back with that. Let's see Derek the E sports guy in Boston from Boston's in l A. Now, this guy is a big E sports star. What kind of game is playing? I forget the name of the game.

But he works. He They moved him to l A to work in a house and just practice his craft of playing video games. I've been trying. He's a young guy. How great is this? This guy said he's making more money than both of us combined. He's like a teenager guy or his early twenties. What it made me feel better about myself anyway, says He says, do you consider do you guys consider professional video games as a sport? Uh? If not? Why I do not think of it as a sport because I think generally I think of it

as you have to have some physical act. It's mentally challenging, but I don't consider it, Like my traditional definition of sport is an activity involving physical exertion. What do you think golf is a sport? I didn't until I played the other day and I felt pain all over my body when we got back the next day. Do you think IndyCar or NASCAR drivers are athletes? No, not really, But the skill I mean, see, that's what there's gotta be like a It's it's different because to me, sport

is physical recreations, physical activity. These things I feel are mostly mental. Now. It is if you're in a NASCAR in a stock car and you're going around for five hours in a circle, it is a wear and tear in your body more than east A sports all about the mental part. You have to have laser like focusing. They've gotta be doing those, hopefully not those opiates handation. I think east sports, I think they're athletes. It's like poker, it's like chess, it's like being in a car. Like

you're using your mind, you're using some physicals. I'm an athlete. I drive to work. I'm an athlete. By your definition, I'm an athlete. Doing this is mentally challenging. I have to think of the next word I'm going to say, so that is also, I'm an athlete when I'm doing I'm a broadcast athlete. So you think like something you think a c P as an athlete, Well, you're a definition. Yes, it's a physical activity in a competitive nature. Driving is competitive.

Talk radio's competitive. Podcasting is competitive. Well you're married. Do you think you're an athlete because you have sex? Uh? Yes, Well my wife's more of an athlete than I am. Yes, but ump bump, all right, Uh, moving on. You're just saying that, guest because you want to be a play by play guy for the sports I know I you aw ulterior motives. I know what you're up. Well we can do this together, though, Yeah, i'd be I would

totally do that. I would totally be up the sports play by play guy would be fun a good time. And it's funny you say that. I actually met someone like high ranking in the East sports world a couple of weeks ago. He came to one of my high school games for Fox. It turned out his dad. I didn't know this until I found out through a couple of buddies that were there. His dad was one of the original creators of Monday Night Football. Wow. Really, Yes, what was his dad's name? I can tell you that

off here. Yeah, I can tell you that. You know, in my early days, and since we're name dropping, when I worked, a name dropped while you were trying to you were there's a humble brad. You'd admit it was a humble brad. I didn't. I didn't. You know, I didn't get anything. Yeah, but you were looking for some credit for that, you know, you you were doing. You didn't fully open up the can of worms, but you

were looking for some credit. Always. No. But when I first started in radio in San Diego, it was Steve Hartman was doing a show with Chet Forte, who was the Monday Night Football like I think it was the director of producer of Monday Night Football. And uh, it was like the highest paid TV executive and then lost everything gambling, lost everything gambling on sports. It all went away. And he was like a college basketball player in New York back in the day and a good guy, nice guy.

I passed away a few years back. But anyway, uh, here's one Oh. This is from Iowa Sam in Los Angeles, by the way of Iowa City, I like one of our colleagues, and a question. He says, any foods that you are prohibited from eating now that your gallbladder has been removed. That's actually a good question, Iowa Sam, and thank you for listening and to appreciate your work for the company. You're jolly good. But but no, I I

wasn't really given any restrictions. I was told that now that I don't have my gall bladder, let when I eat spicy foods, which I have not done yet, or really greasy foods, It's gonna be a poop fest right away. I'll be on the shifter within like half an hour. Mike Harmon has had this happen to him. He had his gall bladder out, although it was not as messed up as mind, and he has said that that is the case that you eat greasy food. It's a problem, so I have. I've tried to change my diet a

little bit. Uh, we'll see if I stick to it. More rice, chicken, that kind of stuff, not spicy. I used to eat tacos and burritos all the time and nacho losing. I'm not gonna do that as much, but I still I'm not. I'm gonna live my life. I'm still occasionally on the weekends when I don't even eat much during the week guest gone. So on the weekends, I'm still gonna have a nice meal, maybe on a Saturday or a Friday or something like that, and then

that's it. I well, don't forget. You actually owe me a Philly cheese steak too, so um, I'll be a part of you know what, Philly cheese steak. You you're so worried about your girlish figure, you don't eat any of that. Man. I've been I've been working out really hard recently. I've been trending pretty hard, running miles, and I've decreased my one mile run from like eleven minutes and some change down to et I'm really proud of myself. Let me give you some Reese's pieces here you want something,

I could use some. I've been fastened today and if oh, there you bragging about your fast, I'm fasting too. In fact, I'm gonna out fast you. I'm not eating today when we're recording this on a Thursday. The next meal I have will be after that high school football game on Friday night. How about that? Yeah, I hope your wife doesn't take us summer shitty. She better not. I'll be eating a lot of food that particular nights. But to be fair, i'bout raising canes. We go to Canes, they're

open late. You wanta go to Keynes, but you can't have greasy food though I can't. I can't. I'll just go to the toilet. Boom done. Listen, you just got out of the icy you. I'm not gonna The first thing I'm not gonna do is take you to a Come on, you gotta live. I'm I'm working, although I haven't been able to go back to the gym yet. They told me I had to wait because they glued me back together until Monday. Well that sucks because I do. Even though I'm not Adonis and I'm not you know,

a Mr. Universe, I do enjoy the working out. I do enjoy. Can you have I guess that's the thing too. Can you have protein shakes? Because the protein usually probably goes right through right? I don't. I don't know. I have not. I don't have pro I have like veggie and my wife will throw some like a fruit smoothie Gabe kapler or something like the Greenies. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great way to eat vegetables and not realize you're eating vegetables masket with like oranges or you know, some

kind of fruit rais or something like that. Yeah. Uh. Michael in Ohio rights and he says, do we do we as members of the mallem Militia make you and the crew better people? Or do you ever feel a bit bitter with some of the shenanigans that some people, uh in the radio audience put out to us. From Michael, I'd like to answer that for you. The Mallard Militia makes the staff uh double think about themselves, like rethink their life, re evaluate where they're going in life, the

repurpose of life. That's exactly what they not. Most people that have a spine and a backbone don't feel that way. The Mallew Militia. Let me evangelize film Momentbut this Mallew Militia, all right, they are watch dogs for the Ben Mallow Show. Okay, they are, and they they they stay focused, they stay grounded, most of them, not all of them. And they monitor, they monitor the spinning match that is sports talk radio.

And they if anyone the key thing of being in the Malamlitias, when anyone bespirches my good name, they have to let me know about it and defend the the honor of the Ben Maller Show and the people that work on the Ben Mallier And they are relentless people are ruthless. That ruthless, which I love. They they're such super fans of the show that they go over the top. It's they're gonna have a rally in Seattle in December, late December. Ed in Spokane and Christina are behind it.

But they're gonna be like holding signs and bullhorns shouting my name outside the Seahawks game. How cool is that? Yeah, they're they're rabid dogs. Not them, but the Mallar Militia is a whole. They're like rabid dogs that anything is out of out of whack they come barking. Yeah, the way I will answer the question, though, Michael in Ohio

is I love the Malamlicia. They've been great, very supportive, you know, as long as they don't cross the line where they end up getting arrested and uh, fan of the Ben Maller Show arrested for pooping in the streets. I don't need that, you know, you know what I'm saying. Other than that, I'm good. Uh. Let's see. Uh oh, Richard said, I don't have a question, but I just sending you guys love from Kenosha, Wisconsin. Those nice Wisconsin people.

So you got you got Wisconsin, you got Kalamazoo, Seattle, We're all Derek the sports guy from Boston, We're all over the place. Let's see, here's one. How much money would it take for you to spend one whole winter in Canada where temperatures can reach minus for this from

Mark the load management expert listening to us in Ottawa. Well, see, that's got to depend on where you're at, because if you're up north, like in Edmonton, then you're probably asking for a little bit more than and let's say, if you were in Vancouver or Calgary or Winnipeg, or Toronto or Toronto. Toronto is awesome though, like you'll warm yourself no matter what. In Montreal, Yeah, I mean the way I look at it. I've I have been offered jobs in Boston, you know I can't. I have been because

of my life situation. I couldn't take them. But I would live in Boston, where it gets pretty nasty in the winter time. I think I could be fine. I don't go out much anyway, you know, I think I'd be all right as long as I had a nice heater. Uh. Look at people live in Minnesota. They've got tunnels and stuff in Minnesota. They live their life fine that the weather is very harsh there. Uh, And so I think it would be fine. I would. I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as that WiFi because it's

a it's a right of life. And a food shelter and a heater. You live anywhere, who cares. I've been several people have recommended that I visit Canada. Uh. They say Vancouver, the Vancouver Islands, Toronto, Montreal, and they also said even as a non sports event, they recommend they highly recommend going to the Calgary Stampede. Yeah, they say millionaires and billionaires like these oil tycoons go there like once a year. In fact, when I went to grad

school in Boston, I had two classmates. They were both bartenders down in Florida. They would get flown to the Calgary Stampede and clear ten grand in a weekend. Wow, pretty good. But they said, there's nothing like the ten grand in the year on this podcast. That would be nice. Listen, you might make more money tagging along with me on on some television. Well you just wait. You're gonna be blown away by the amount of sports cliche goodness does that I provide. It is going to be amazing. It's

gonna be a life changing experience. I I you, I don't know who you worked with. I'm sure you worked with some former players or whatever. Any house, Reggie, So you just asked who I've worked with? Name dropper Gascon. But listen, you're connected to some TV executives, so you gotta understand Gascon. I I know every cliche in football. I have been doing this for a very long time. You know, from ground in pound to dink and dunk

uh to remedial passing game. You know anything Northwest, southeast whatever. I got all the terms. I got all the terms and much like mostly Defense, mad At Dart, Defense, Cents Store, Defense, you name, and I got their kids. You can't just destroy them, though, on come on, please, they're not watching that. Come on, they're playing video games. They're not gonna watch that. Although I can't use I can't use my line gas and I can't say that's a trap game because this

is a playoff game. So I can't Centennial's gotta watch you out this is a trap game. No, it's a playoff game. And I don't think you can use lunch pails and hard hats. Why not because none of them are like social workers and they don't know what lunch pails are anymore. Wow, Wow, unbelievable. Can I Can I say that Jay Sarah might be tanking for a higher draft pick and I say that, but see, you're connected to some TV executives, so I would I would strongly

encourage you to send this out after we're done. Oh, they're not gonna love me. They're not gonna watch Do you think I'm gonna get TV executive to watch this? Yeah? You think they're gonna hire me? Then to do like you replace Colin's Worth at Sunday Night Football. No, but they might hire me for something. And now we know why I got Now we know why I got the invite into the stupid high school football games. Much like radio, ward is the leadman's medium television as a broadcasting team.

It's not my medium either as a one. It's the color analyst. This medium that's your so once again, television to radio, radio to TV. No. No, the thing about TVs, I don't have to say that much because it's just you got pictures. So I I can be I can take a quarter off and just be like I had nothing to say. That's it, you know, and who would know because they're watching the game. How great? Is that great? So you mail it in on podcasts like you did

last week and they're gonna tank this game? Well no, I mean occasionally say, now I'll do the instant replay because I I learned from Madden when I was a kid. Boom, bam, see you hit that whole bam, just like that. I like the quarterbacks name though, for is it for Centennial or oh no, for Jay Sarah? What's his name again? General Booty? General Booty. I hope this guy wins the Heisman something. How great would it be to have General Booty. That is a great name, that is one of the top.

When when you, or somebody I think it was you sent me the depth chart for this game and I looked at that, I said, hell, look, guesscon's funny. He's sending in the funny names here to goof with me. He wanted me to say the quarterbacks named General Booty on the air. And then I looked it up and the kids like, he's legit, his dad played college football or I believe, and he's the John David Booty. This goes I think this goes right to the food chain.

Amongst the best names in quarterback history. That goes like it's comparison to Major Apple White from Texas. Yeah, it's one of the great sports names. Now, I think the greatest sports name of all time is Chubby Cox, which is which is Kobe Bryant's uncle. But fair Hooker was a great name for the Cleveland Browns back in the day. And everyone wants a fair hooker. Everyone wants a fair hooker for sure. Uh yeah, I'm happy that that doing a high school game has brought your maturity level down

to a teenager. It's it's fascinating. That's it's great. That's what I'm here. All right, moving on. I think that's enough. I didn't get all the question. I'm sorry Biglou and some of you other guys, but we gotta move on. Guestcown we're doing. This is like a two hour, not the fifth hour. It's the sixth hour here. Well, you had what you had a week off of work. That's good point. That is a good point. So it's actually

not that bad. You just you know, that's I understand. Uh, don't take stick to sports stories a week that is your domain. Yeah, we had Where were we going first? I guess we can go to You mentioned Indianapolis earlier, but this three Indiana Supreme Court judges were declared uh uh constituted judicial misconduct because they had a night on the town. Three judges were traveling throughout Indianapolis. They actually had to go to a conference. After a night of drinking.

Three judges went to White Castle because of near a gentleman's club. Well sure, why not? Those White Castle burgers is delicious. In the middle of the night, late night affair, these judges got into an altercation in the parking lot with the driver and passenger of an suv H. One of them raised the middle finger, another one got out, a gun was pulled out. Obviously all caught on camera because you're gonna parking lot next to a restaurant. These

guys front and stars. So they've been suspended, but they will return to work later on. So all right, So and and there one of them was wounded. Is out. Two of the judges were actually wounded. They got shot. Yeah, they got shot. One of them went to an emergency surgery. Uh, he's required to stay in in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Uh. They were obviously both in toxic are the ones that were shot? Uh? Wow, these judges, man, I wonder if I've been to that. I've been to

some white castles in Indianapolis. I wonder if I've been to that one. In fact, that one the time last time was in Indianapolis. We we flew we had a we had a morning flight, like a six am flight, So we stayed up all night that night and we just ate White Castle burgers. And when I got back to l A, I could still when I went to the bathroom, it smelled like white Castle. I ate white castle in Newark, New Jersey. Congratulations, awful. Well, I don't know if it's as bad as what a burger in Arizona,

but it's pretty freaking bad. You know, it's a white castle in the in Vegas? Is there? It's the closest one to l A. I believe there's a white castle in Vegas. Yet we are due for a Vegas trip by the way. Uh yeah, maybe you can cut something else out of my body by that and that'll be that'll be wonderful. Wow, are you still complaining? That was a week ago? Yeah, but you you were responsible for that. What's necess we go to Mile High City? Um, the city of Denver has gotta pay out somebody for a

little wrongdoing. Um. Would you ever pose in front of a camera naked? Uh? No, of course, what if I gave you money, I would know it would have to be a ridiculous amount of right. How about this? The city of Denver has agreed to pay United Airlines pilot three hundred thousand dollars because he was actually arrested after standing naked in front of his hotel room window and in Denver International Airport. Oh he was arrested the airport. No, No,

at New there was the Denver International Airport. Hotel there was one was connected to it. Did he think the window was like tinted or something like that. He was on the tenth floor and he was opening up the curtains, not suspecting anyone could see him from that high up. He was butt naked. Uh, he was arrested, obviously a wrongful arrest. Uh, look up plasts of the curtains. Arrested, detained, and now the city Denvers pay him three hundred thousand dollars.

How about that three? Yeah? Yeah, So like somebody had to call and say, hey, there's a naked man there. Whatever? Who called? That's a bad person? What are you? What's the blur? Unless he was, you know, enjoying himself there. What are you doing walking around naked? Who cares? But even if he was, he was the own hotel room. I know. Well, that's like this whole thing in you know, New York. Remember remember a rod got caught in uh, you know, taking a dump in his condo and in

the in the right. Yeah, because people do that all the time in New York. They people in high rises think that they're you know that no one's looking at them, and there's there's a bunch of pervs out there that were their binoculars and cameras. They are taking photos and other buildings across from where they live. It's the whole cottage industry. Has that ever happened to you in the misses? While? Uh, you know, cuddling at a hotel? Uh? No, Well she would be okay with it, but I closed the blinds

and all that. The wife, he's down for voyeurism, slightly slightly. She's so much. She's got such a better personality than you. It's amazing. I agree with you on that. All right? What's next? Year? Stone six? To stick to sports? The extended version here the fifth. McLaren's got a new car. Ben. This one's a little bit trickier. Uh. We couldn't afford it. It costs one point seven million dollars. It's it's a supercar. Check this out though, no roof and no windshield. The

windshield that is actually made of air. Have you heard such a thing? No? Never? Yeah, So the options that you have, why would I? Yeah, I'm sure that works really well. Uh, no windshield and and and then you get a rock that hits you right in the face. Yeah, that's good. Geniuses and a carly want a car without a windshield? Someone, that's probably I mean you're driving that through where Calabasas, Malibu, Newport Beach. Uh yeah, I mean all it's it's insane. It's uh yeah, I mean you're

probably not. You're probably driving like engated communities and all that. I guess. Yeah, I've seen a picture of it. It's called the McLaren Elva, and it is jet black leather seats. It is apple gorgeous, eight and four horsepower with a V eight engine in it. Yeah, it can. It can go from zero to sixty and three seconds or less. I'm good. I just give me a Nissan Ultima. I'm good. I'm all right. You know, your car's ugly, fucking ugly green.

People are actually commenting on your color, like there's some that's a pretty decent color. I said, no, it's not. It's an ugly color. How about this one. What's the most you've ever paid for a steak? Well, I told you earlier in in Indian Apples. I forget how much my personal said for it. Yeah, yeah, of course, I say, Well, no, I mean I don't know. Out back, I had a steak in a blooming onion. I don't know, seventy eight

bucks or something like that. I Uh. In Vegas, Wolfgang Puck owns a restaurant in between the Venetian and the Palazzo. It's called Cut and from my my Buddies thirtieth birthday, we celebrated by taking him to Vegas. He also that same weekend he got accepted to medical school, so he was going up Heseas. For that. We went to Cut and we ordered Japanese wagon steak, three different cuts of it and seven ounces, twenty five dollars ben. It was the best piece of steak I've ever had. It's like

it wasn't until the bill came. Who cares. It's like only you're but you're still frugal with your money, Like there's no reason to joy a little bit. It was a special occasion. You're in Vegas, you can splurge a little bit. Uh. I. I bring that up because I can't even go out to dinner with you because I feel like you're gonna order the most expensive. You're the dick that orders the most expensive, okay, or the record The last time we did go to dinner. It was

your idea. We went to the west side of town. We went to a bougie Mexican spot. That was not my idea, that was yours. Yeah, but I I ordered here's the move. I actually ordered less food than I wanted because I knew how expensive it was, and I ordered the smallish dish amongst us four. I paid for that meal, by the way, So you don't get it. My beard was more than the tacos. I maade, Well, you should have gotten a ticket because you parked illegally. And I saved you that money because we told you

you got to move the car. Otherwise you would have gotten a ticket. So I really I paid you even more money. It's like an extra hundred bucks on a parking take. Well, how about this. There's a Japanese chef forty two years of age. Um. He owns a restaurant called the Butcher's Kitchen. Restaurant that sounds like my kind of place, The Butcher's Kitchen. He's got a wagoose style sandwich ben his trademark eighty five dollars for a save. How big is Sam? But it's the size of your arm. No,

it's it's not big at all. But it's it's probably the size of your fist and you don't have a big fast my headphones came out, Yes, guy, and I apologize, But what did you say. I wasn't listening, was like the size of your fist, the size of your fist. I definitely do not need the do not need that my life at all. Yeah. So yeah, last one, and this is a personal story. So last week, for all intensive purposes, you were you felt like you were pushed

through the brink of annihilation. Correct. There were a couple of points where I thought that I was in really bad, bad shape. Yes, I had a incident that was making me feel the same way. Uh. So I went to an event and on the west side of town. Did you watch some of your work and you started feeling nausea? No? No, So it's for a clothing line. They wanted me and a couple other guys to work at this gym called the dog Pound um in West Hollywood, our senior halls. Yeah,

something like that. That for an outdated reference. So we have the clothing line. Came out with a pose work at a tire. We worked out, was a great night. Had some Mexican food after and I'm driving on the one Tent South going home ben Usually at that time of the day, people weren't usually drunk driving, but it was around eight or nine o'clock and I noticed this car in front of me, and he was going in and out of lanes. Well, he actually drove somebody off

the road. And I'm a huge honker, but in this instance, I wasn't honking. I was flashing my brightes because I figured like either he wasn't paying attention or he was intoxicated, so he needed to obviously drive in the middle of the lane. Well, this dude jammed on his brakes, got next to me, and then as soon as I passed him by, he got behind me and started flashing his brights and so, NATCHI uh get a little hot that someone's trying to show me up. I'm on the road.

I jammed on my brakes, start flashing my brakes. He pulls up alongside me, and passenger window rolls down and outcomes this little black piece of metal, and so I hit the brakes and I was like, holy sh it. So one Tent South when it exits into the Harbor area San Pedro, if you exit one street called Channel the Harbor division of the L A p D S

right there. I knew it, so I jammed on the brakes and as soon as he starts hitting the brakes to pull it next to me, I hit the gas and his window rolls down all the way and he points out a fucking gun. It was a straight gun. It wasn't a big one. It was probably smaller than a glock, so I don't know what it was, but alertly, I went right off onto the next off ramp. Now are you are you like China duck? Yeah, yeah, you

have to duck. Yeah, side ducked, but I kept my I knew exactly where I was going, so I knew the road really well. So as soon as I got off, I made the U turn. He didn't follow me because he had to go to the next exit, which was Gaffy Street. But part of the reason when people say you're going to Pedro, like that's where the ghetto meets the sea, and yeah, I was like a fast and furious movies. Yeah, I wasn't scared, but the adrenaline level of shot up really quick. And then not until like

ten fifteen minutes after I realized, oh, funk. Someone pulled a gun out on me as well, I've never had that happened. I've never had a gun pulled on me. So can you've you've beaten me? Congratulations. I have had driving overnight when I come home from the show. I've had three times a wrong way driver was coming at me, and that is that's scary, but not as I don't think as scary as a gun. Yeah, would make a

scary as a gun. See, since we've started this podcast, we've had a windshield blown out, We've had you get hit in a parking lot, burned my tongue eating pizza, bit my tongue, and I had a lisp like Lou Holtz for a week. Yeah, you've gone to the infirmary with your gall stones and I've had a gun flown at me. So so things are going well, it's uh, We're gonna get Vin Diesel in here and Dwayne Johnson for you. We'll interview them about that. I think we

we can't get Paul Walker unfortunately, he's not available. Like, like, what would make you feel like you're okay to throw that line out there? Like the guy fucking died in a car accident a few years, but he burned in a car accident. I don't know how. I don't understand six years man, at the time, five years is in? After five years, it's open season. By the way, if I died last week, you would have done a stand up act about me, I mean, what are you talking about?

It would have called your wife and I would have asked, Hey, was I in the will? Yeah? Yeah, exactly right? Is that? Are you done? I don't know why you would have felt good to throw a Paul Walker reference out there. Well, I talked about Fast in The Furious and that was his his vehicle. Actually, that wasn't his vehicle. He was a different vehicle that he was in when he wasn't he in a Ferrari? I don't remember. I don't. I remember the night that he died. Everyone was freaking out,

but I don't remember the details much about it. I also, was it like that comedian Kevin Hart that he almost died on a car accident like last year? Right? That's right? Yeah? Or maybe earlier? Here? Was it? Mel Gibson too? Yeah? Yes, dangerous man? Yeah? What what end this podcast on? On a great note? I think it's a great freaking note. Litten to reference Paul Walker. Fast. I didn't know you were such a fanboy of Paul Walker. My god, it could have been gonna you're gonna do a heartfelt tribute

right now? What are you gonna do here? You get out of the hospital and all of a sudden, you're just Spry's day, Like I'm making pop culture references alright, Fast and the Furious that how many movies do they make? Seven movies or something, that they're still going Fast eight was out, and then uh, Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham had their own. Uh so I'm what I'm doing is going I'm going pop culture pop culture mount a right, Van Diesel I mentioned him, Dwayne Johnson, what about Eric Holder?

And Fast and Furious? I'm good? Are we done? Thank you? Guess good? And we'll have eno if you don't. If I haven't already listened to Benny Versus De Penny, this podcast comes out first, the one you're listening to, but then we will have Betty Versus the Penny back picking NFL games every game against the spread for a week eleven. Have a great weekend. Don't forget if you're hearing us on Friday during the day I'll be I'll be doing a high school game with Gascon on television, and how

can people watch it? Again, Gascon, you're not even listening. It's the Prep Zone, the Fox Go app. You can check that out. Have a great weekend. We'll talk to you on the radio health permitting, Sunday night into Monday two am in the East. We'll talk about all those big NFL games.