Miss Me?

doing a podcast. Anyone can listen anywhere, anytime. You just have to find the podcast. That's the secret. You've already found it. We think our friends at I Heart the I Heart podcast Network, this podcast available wherever you get your podcast. I saw a story this week that the I Heart Podcast division is blowing up, getting even more and more powerful in the podcast world. So that's exciting. I don't know that we actually benefit from that, but it's good for the company. So that's uh good for

us um this week. This week we had Ryan Leaf on Yesterday Today on the Saturday edition of the podcast, We've got a couple of interesting things that I think you'll find fascinating and riveting, but unfortunately yet again, joining us for the full weekend. From West of the four oh five, a man who has been called persnickety and that's one of the few good things people say. From West of the four oh five, Mr lot d Dah himself David Gass, a social primer fast the case. This

is uh. I'm Vernest Mount Earnest is uh looking mighty steep right now, but I continue to hammer away as I do. It's been h it's been a good couple of weeks. Um, I know you missed me last week. No, I didn't miss you at and did not know. We were so happy. We were like doing a dancing here in the podcast. We were like, oh this is great. We said, Asta la vista, b voyage. It's a gascon. See you right, odio, and we moved on. I do uh, I do appreciate the leftovers that you you gobbled up

last week as well. We can certainly get into that. I know you didn't want well we will that. Um, it's on my it's on my list. We will synchronize here. Thanks for reading the notes. It's good A good job that good show prep by you. Be prepared. Unless you're not prepared at all. You're just doing this off the cuff. I definitely want to acknowledge that you were doing a little bit of sandbagging. We will certainly get into that

there was no sandbagging at all, none at all. I did find I did find we shepherd in We Shepherd in a New Era on the podcast last week. It was very exciting. More on that coming up in a couple of minutes. And we we were hoping that you'd become like a cosmonaut and gone out to the space station or something like that and moved out to outer space. But apparently that was incorrect. Your back, your gobbledegook back, louder, better, stronger than ever. I don't know about that. You don't

sound that good. Your voice sounds very weak. You think so, yes, Uh, the guys that you work with, I am like the Rolls Royce of audio audio efficiency. Well listen, here's what's coming up on on the podcast. First of all, a shameless promotion for cameo dot com. If you'd like a personalized video message, if you want your own personal malat monologue, it's available right there. If you want to make Gascon's life terrible and have him do a video praising me,

which somebody already did, which was hilarious. I play that, you know, at the end of the weekend when we have a terrible set of podcast, which is every weekend when you here, I'll play that and I'll say, well, you know, at least he said this and that and the other thing. But CAMEO dot com search my name Ben Mallard. Gascon's on there as well. Yes he's on there. Yeah, he's waiting waiting for your call. Unless he's not. Operators are standing by. So on today's podcast, we've got Mr Microphone,

we have d I Y and Pop Quiz. That's what we have to look forward to. Let's start with Mr Microphone. So we open up the files of the Complaints and Concerns Department, and there was a lot of hooey that was flying around after last weekend's podcast. I was met with much grumbling and disapproval from the podcast listener. My may include you. Chances are it did if you sent me a nasty message on email, uh to my personal email or the the email we use for the show,

which is Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. My email Ben Maller's show at gmail dot com. But anyway, so people rep set the audio old quality was that it was compared to that of a MR microphone that was broken, or I would say more like a tin can and a string is what I would say. It sounded like. And so I would like to give my side of the story. Now we had Mel procteron last weekend.

Mel's a veteran broadcaster. I respect the legends of broadcasting, and Mel called Orioles, Games, Padres, and the Washington Bullets and also was the Clipper broadcaster. I met him and I got to know him a little bit when he was the play by play guy for the Clippers on radio.

And so we had Mel on telling some stories. He wrote a few books over the years, and I hadn't talked to Mel in a while, so I thought we'd have him on fund and we had Big Mike in here and Gascon was a no show yet again, the lack of grit, the lack of work ethic on display yet again, just the lazy, lazy, lazy lazy, And so we we marched down the show must go on whether the people that are supposed to be here are here

or not, And mel Proctor was great. He told old stories from his days with the Orioles and the Bullets, and talked about cal Ripken and Tony Gwyn, talked about a crazy game he was broadcasting in Arlington, Texas were the Orioles back in the day, mentioned that the dreadful Oh in twenty one start for the Orioles and the nineteen eighties. But about thirty seconds into all that, it sounded wonky in my headphones, and I immediately, as any anyone in my position would do, I immediately contacted the

person that had the ability to change that. So I shot a message over to Big Mike. I said, listen, Big Mike, it does not sound good. I sent him a text. I said, listen, I'm doing the interview right now. The audio is not good. It sounds overmodulated, he tells me. He writes back, he says, not nothing to worry about. Audio's fine. I got it onto my headphones. Just sound good. The levels are good. You're both on the same level.

Nothing to worry about. So I sold your on. Now I'm I'm doing this and the whole time it's like it sounds like absolute horseshit, you know, And I'm like, well, this is I mean, I hope, I'm I'm in my head, I'm I'm I'm getting gas lit. Like I'm thinking, well, maybe it's just me, you know, maybe it's just me. And so we go on the proctory interview, we did the thing. It was a whole thing, just sounded terrible. So then okay, so we go to the Saturday podcast.

So we're doing the Saturday podcast and again it sounds just like fucking fertilizer. Right, So I'm getting piste and I again and say, hey, we got a problem here, and then he pulls out the old Aaron Rodgers relax right, relax, So you know, I was like, yeah, everything's fine, the levels and find nothing to worry. So then I go listen to the podcast and it's, uh, it's absolute amateur hour, Like I would have been better off just taking the

weekend off. Uh the audio quality was so terrible. But I do deserve a miacolpa because I did point out immediately the trained ear of a broadcaster who was going to need a Kirkland brand hearing aid when I'm done with radio because of my years and years of on the job abuse, and where where are the people in radio to look out for our health. Yeah, the NFL players have CTE. We've got loss of hearing being on radio. But anyway, I just want to point that at and

before Gascon. You have anything to add to that Gascon you wanna you want to touch up my work there. No, I think that I had some messages sent my way. Uh, this is just continued validation of the presence that I have and the impact that I have. The president you have, but no president, you never hear. You can't have a president you never hear. Well, you never hear. Its like Lebron James when he's not in the line of for the Lakers, they just obviously look like they're the Titanic.

They just simply sink to the bottom of the ocean. That's just like this podcast. If I'm not around, you have somebody that's just incompetent or not observant or doesn't care anything and everything that's the opposite of me happens. Your ship just goes wrong. Bad audio. So, so what I do in a situation, I said, I have this thing called the blame pie, and I cooked the blame pie, and then I cut up the pieces of the blame pie. You get like of the blame on this. Do you

understand that? You get you're the culprit. You're the bad guy in this story, not Big Mike. You're the bad guy. You did not tell him how to properly record the podcast. You didn't tell him the levels have to be a certain point. You didn't do your job. I no accountability.

You sabotage the podcast. That was an intentional act from what I'm hearing, And there is a lot of blame worthiness to go on your shoulders and gascon as I told you in the podcast by loss page seven seven A on page seven Wins and Losses Achieved, buy a podcast, Uh, the the interroom podcast person, go to the actual podcast. Coach, you're the coach, I'm the star, I'm the headliner. You're the coach, and that loss goes on your record, even if you were not on the bench or even in

the building. You get the l You are liable. That's on you. And that's some real talk right there now. I know that you can can obviously compare me to the Bill Walsh of the podcasting world, since I do bring excellence every single weekend that we're doing this fucking thing. But you would agree that in order to be here um and handling this thing, I need to be I need to be taken care of. I need to have my I need to have my pillows cooled off a

little bit. I need you have the sheets cleaned at times. I need to be fed. I need to be compensated. I need to have a pat on the back. I'm not getting any of that, so I took a I'm victim. My name is guest go aka. This is the difference between me and I wake up. You are so soft. You are misty, Mr softy mixed soft over. There is what you are. You don't even realize it. Listen here, I am guest guy. I live by the Code of the West. You should learn the code of the West.

Take pride in your work. You have no pride in your work. And also one of the bye laws code of the West always finish what you start, which means if you agree to do a podcast every week, do the podcast every week. Nobody put a gun to your head, Nobody put a knife to your throat and said you have to do it or the record I volunteered. There's a difference do what has to be done to what has to be done. Doing volunteer work does not constitute

being obligated or compelled to do work. I do volunteer work outside of the Fox Sports Radio I heard, and I'm not. This is not a charity podcast. This is not, this is not we're not on public broadcasting. We're not for anyone that's getting this for free. And they bitch and moan about it. It's charity. They don't need to have it, they don't deserve. You are providing a public service. We are provided use that need it because their souls

are not filled until we complete it. So with that being said, I think you need to bend the knee. There's no bed in the knee. No, you sabotage. You're the sabotaur. Use what you are? You ruined an entire weekend of great podcast. You deliberately damaged the quality of this podcast. You you you how dare you? How do you sleep at night? Damaged that you? But you undermine the work here. I go to bed at ten fifty nine every night Pacific standards. It's funny because I know

somebody that shows up to work about that time. That's interesting. But listen, you know that what you adjust because you're hearing you adjust your audio levels on your headset, and it's not always precise. It's the same thing in here. I don't have a measurement to adjust. And there's there's a level. I'm allowed talker, there's a level. And you turned this thing into the Hindenburg, right, this became a hydrogen bomb because of you. All Right, it was podcast

Arma Geddon okay, uh. I listened to the thing and it was frightening. I'm like, I think I'm a professional broadcaster. This is a broadcasting catastrophe. What this is. It was an unmitigated disaster, and it's on your resume and it's going to affect your future employment. Fact I already hear rumors Gascon that some people have turned down you're hiring you because of this in part. Well, I'm happy to report that I don't think that's gonna have a big

impact on my my employment. Here when you're doing volunteer work for for you and oh my god, it's not volunteer work. Every Thursday morning we let you into bill mean, you get to come to Disneyland for free every Thursday. It's like Disneyland around here. Get a text message from you every Thursday morning that says, I'm on the marquee, you're not get to works. Yes, that is correct, Yes, because I am a tyrant and a death spot. And uh yeah, I'll come in up such a schoolyard bully

that I'll work with anybody. I don't care who's in here. I'll just put my head down, one foot in front of the other, and I'll be Benny blow Hard and I'll just keep talking one word after another. I don't care, because that's the gig code to the West, code to the West. You can't take a shot at me when the dude that was working last week has been with the company four times longer than I have. Yes, and but again, he trusted he's a good employee, big Mike on and not him at all. He did a great job.

It's all on you. It's all on you because he trusted his good leadership. You trust your employees to tell me you you did not give him the proper direction. You didn't give him the code to this safe when you know he needed to open the safe. You didn't give him the code to the safe. That's bad job by you. I think we need to take a pace from Ryan Leave's book. Yesterday be accountable for your own fucking actions. Yes, exactly, you should be accountable for your

own fucking action. You've funked up the podcast The Path and a podcasting here in our little cathedral, and you you ruined, you defecated on the podcast. I was being accountable for my paycheck and I went to a higher bidder. How about that? Alright? Serial whore Gascony is not only a sabotary. He's a whore, is what he is? Right? You admitted this right now. You don't even realize what you're admitting. I go to the highest bidder every fucking time.

Oh my god, no, what about me? I have integrity, have been yes I do. I've been underpaid for years, but I still show up every day. I don't even complain about it. You have a hundred and fifty dollar Tomahawks steak and your freezer from last year. Yes, I'm holding onto it for a special day. Yet to have more special day was last year we've had. I was gonna eat, and then the apocalypse happened and we had the pandemic. I couldn't eat. I was depressed. You're stupid,

I'd pointing out. Listen, I'm trying to teach you guesco. All right, you are lacking the proper audio acumen. All right, I am trying to help you out. All right, Yeah, you need to be uh you know, a little bit brighter. Right. Vision is not quite good enough. You're lacking the gumption. You need more gumption. No I am. I am a fucking giant maglite. That's what I am. And the fact that you have had the gall. You are a storm cloud that follows around and dribbles, doesn't rainfully, just kind

of gets you wet enough to annoy you. That's what you are. I don't think the women have ever complained about that, but that's a different conversation. And had Wow, you really you are the epitome of a douche. You had the gall last week not to congratulate and call me and say, hey, great job hosting and setting me up for my show last week. Terrible. It was the worst thing ever. It was horrible. I thought it was so good that you actually took a lot of my

takes and built it into here we go again. You got you got that take neurosis. They're remarkable what you did. And for me to set you up on a on a Thursday night and I didn't get any thank yous. I thought that was I think it was embarrassing. Yeah, I I are you in that club now as certain group of people working in our business that are convinced that their takes are stolen by other people? Are you? Are you in that group? Because I don't listen to other shows, I have no idea I do want to.

I stay in my lighte as my mentor LaVar Ball taught me how years ago. I used to listen to a lot of other radio shows, but I really don't. And there's different reasons for that. But I don't know people. I hear everyone's about people steal stuff that I've done. I'm like, I don't give a flying rats ass because I I'm not listening. So you know, you can. You can be in mimic and all that all you want, that's fine, but I'm doing my own thing. And if you want to steal the stuff, uh, it's you know,

the sequel is not the equals what I always say. Yeah, I don't listen to any sports talk radio, but I think two guys that I work with, it would be hard to steal like you and Jonas would be really hard to steal from because you guys go you guys go. Really, you guys can go dark and not ever go dark. But I'm positive I'm Benny bright Side were talking, I go dark. I don't go dark. How do I go dark? You get a little bit lights, I see the light. I gravitate to the lights. I know I'm a ray

of sunshine on a cloudy day. Well put it this way in gambling terms, you don't go with Joe Public all the time? Well, no, I don't want to do that. You don't do that. You wanna you don't want to be where you turn on the radio. You know, there's a certain percentage of guys in our business from what I hear, they're just complete hacks and they just totally you know the line, they don't go. You gotta to be good at this. You gotta go outside the lines

a little bit. You gotta all are outside the lines. Yes, yes, so yeah I don't, But no I don't. I mean my takes are again. So I'm gonna take that as an apology by you for ruining the podcast, and I would accept your apology and do not not ever do that again, please, And if you, if you you know I know you're you're floating on the lazy river over there.

You're probably miss some more time. But just whoever fills in, try to try to give him some good advice and say, all right, the levels are a little hot here, make sure the levels are good, double triple check. How about that? Why don't you have because the tea is piping hot, No, the microphone is piping hot. Not the t The microphone is piping hot. Why don't you have one of the one of the little in cells that you work with that fills in with you operate the board from now on?

Who's the guy that works with you on the board that has like his little cat that he's worried about. I don't know what you're talking about. There was one of the guys that was like, you know, it's really rumor, has it you're you're a big fan of the Pussycat. It depends on which kind yes, interesting yeah. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week

days at two am Eastern eleven Empacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. All right, we're moving on. We have d I Y. So we present you handy Man Mallard. And this did not have a happy ending, this story. So I've been doing some work around the Mallard mansion. There the something going on we can't talk about.

But I was doing some work, doing some improvements, cleaning up a little bit, and you could say spring cleaning. Say spring cleaning. So I was assigned to clean the oven at the Mallard mansion. And I learned, as handy man Mallard that it is not that easy. This job is not for anyone. It's not for sissy's. So this is like a big mass cleaning situation. And I was, as I said, tagged with beautifying the oven. And I

took the job for sures and um. The wife had recommended some YouTube video she found it that they said this is the way to clean the Okay, I'll do that whatever. I don't care. So it involved ove and off spray, which is a highly powerful I think you might have used it before you used ove and off. Yeah, it's a it's a rather powerful spray that will use

very simple. I followed the instruction you spray it on and then you let it sit and then for like an hour, and then you you kind of rub off the chemical and then you soak it in hot water and then wash it again and then you're good. And by the time I got done with this, I was as high as like Cooper loop on four. I needed a stand I guess standing eight count. I was almost overwhelmed by the fumes of the oven off. I I don't know if I used too much of it or

I don't know what. There was bad circulation, but I was a little wonky for a for a fair amount of time. That was I was not expecting that. And it was funny because I was kicking myself because I have a mask. I wasn't wearing the mask. I guess I should have warned. This was one time I should have worn the mask around the house. The the COVID mask. I should have warned. But I didn't do it, So I should have won my story. Should have worn a COVID mask and taken a picture on it and put

it on all your social media sites. Yeah, I'm good on that. Your your wife did an amazing job with the rest of the house. Well, well, no, I helped with a lot of that, they'll say, you don't say, wife. I mean I helped. I chipped in, maybe paying for some of it, maybe her creativity. I texted you their day. I know you. I told I told her that she I told you. She laughed, she laughed. Really, I swear to god, I thought that place was like something out

of a magazine. I should you not? I yeah, you know, it's it's it's it's uh well, he cleans up. Well is that well, Well, we had had some work. You have not been over. No one's been to the house in us since December of yes, since December nineteen. In that time, we've had a flood. We had to replace a floor um because of that, since we were, you know, pulling the room apart and we had to take drywall

down and all that. We fixed up the fireplace, and then the kitchen had flooded, so we had in fact, your dad remember your dad helped us, uh with with that with the insurance, but we had to fix the kitchen. So we uh we upgraded the kitchen a little bit because we had to do work on it anyway, and so uh yeah, so that's uh some of the work done at the Mallard mansion over the last year and a half. It doesn't it? Did it photographed very well? Yes? It did? Um? Anyway, So about d I y man,

I'm not the handyman. Mallard not that good. We have pop quiz want to a few pop quiz questions here? We have a little time. Yes, yeah, I I also need you. Have you have some things you wanted to Yes? Well, I need a favor from you. I'm not good with giving because you have your certain words that you love to infuse during your Yes, have you let me ask you this. Have you ever used the phrase tilting at windmills? You know, I'm aware of the phrase. I think I

might have used it once. Um, but not, It's not in my regular lexicon. Why, I'm just that's I mean, that's one phrase I'd like to see or hear you infuse into a monologue I saw the other day. I was like, let's see if Ben could craft a monologue and throw this in there. So you want me to work that, well, you can work anything into a monologue. Tipping windmills? You would like to tilting tilting? I think it's tipping. I think I think it's tipping. No, it's tilting.

Was it tilting? Yeah? I had actually never heard of it before, and then I looked it up and I was like, oh, how do you randomly come across if somebody must have said it, you must have heard it something. Yeah, it was. It was a random It was a random Twitter fucking argument between people that were triggered on on both sides of the aisle um in recent days. So do you you know what? You know what it means? Right means yeah, yeah, But I just I had licked it up and I was like, I haven't had Ben.

Uh did I see if Ben would throw that into uh intended? Well, it's it's the one I use this kind of tilting windmills. I think it's like it's you're you're attacking an imaginary opponent, right, something like that. So it would be like the straw man. You know a lot of radio hosts will use the straw man, which is they just make up an opponent, you know, it makes something up and they attack it. But it's all bull crap. Yeah, exactly, we call that the straw man.

But tilting wind mills is you know, you can tilting it wind mills. You can certainly put in and you know what I will I will make a mental note gascone. Uh, and I will attempt to work that in at some point when it fits. It's got a fit. I can't force you can't force it, So it's got to be a case. I mean, we like I think you could

have done that. I did a Lebron monologue the other day. Uh, and you could have used that with Lebron that Lebron is famous for tilting at windmills, creating straw men and attacking. Uh and but selectively selectively attacking. Yeah, does that quite quite a bit. I wonder what Darryl Morris thinking when he sees Lebron cop off a like that. Yeah, well,

the memes from Lebron, he's such a hypocrite. It we're outstanding all with the poor, the Muslims in China and concentration camps and Lebron who's in bed with the Chinese communist government, and he's nothing on that. But the police officer your next Oh, it's outstanding. He is so oh my god, And and Slaton tried to tell him not to do this and he didn't listen. Heck, who was the person on Fox And it was a couple of years ago that said, shut up and dribble, Laura Ingram,

Laura Ingram, Yeah, that was. That was with a big hullebluo. And Lebron keeps going on, boy, that's gonna haunt him though this week you gotta think that just sticks with Lebron and it's gonna anytime he says anything. Well, what about this. You're the guy that docks the police officer who did a great job and saved a woman's life. It's just unreal. You can't make the stuff up. Unbelievable. Um. Speaking of which, Um, I had a couple of firsts

over the last week, week and a half. The congratulations you popped your cherry For the first I popped the big screen cherry. Um. I can't divulge what it is just yet, but I did work on a on a project, on something that you are are quite familiar with, and um, it was a full day of production with a call time. Well you can't say what it is, then, why are you even talking about it? Well, because you can talk about everything that happened, and you were talking about in

vague terms. Oh well I can talk about the day. Can I like how intense it was or how you know. If you don't want to know, then that's fine. I'll bury it. When like telling a half a story, Yeah, I mean, that's that's how it works. It's it's a it's elongated tea. No one's listening to this podcast. You always tell me, no one listens to this pod. Just tell the story. You listened to it last week only when the audio shitty. I listened to hear how shitty

it is when it's good, I never listened. Well, I worked on a television show and it will be uh it'll air I think in October and November, and uh I played as a role as a as a news reporter, and um, yeah, I was a morning call time like six thirty, six thirty five, and I was kind of I thought for a minute, like why didn't I need to be here this early for only a couple of scenes. Um,

they did hair, they didn't make up. You get your own trailer costumes and all that stuff, and uh, I didn't get on set and all twelve o'clock, so it's a five and a half hour difference, and then we shot one scene for seven and a half hours. Well that's just fucking bullshit done. You don't need to shoot a scene for seven hours. That's insane. See, your brother works, he works in stages, right, Like he does a lot of the staging for Oh My My, my brother in law. Yeah,

he works in the in that business. Yet, so it is I I mean, not to get geeky, but there was ben There were these railroad tracks that guys would bring in. It looked like half a track and they put a cart on top of the track with these giant fucking cameras And I'm not talking about cameras that are just big in size. I mean these are two hundred thousand dollar cameras and you don't even know what what the cost is for the lens, but these things

were huge. And so yeah, they shot every which angle for every you know, for every individual, and they had people that were shapherding each each actor for their for their medical kit. So I'd have someone that was shadowing me with a kit for a mask, for a visor, for water, for like makeup, like all that ship. It was. It was pretty fucking intense. It was. It was a crazy Uh, it was a crazy day, but it was the first for me, so I kind of excited to knock it out and I'll see what it looks like

on camera one day. Look at you, look at you. Hey. By the way, I was I filmed the documentary back in it was it was back in December or something like that, and it still hasn't come out. It was supposed to come out in February. I think it's coming out soon. Though. What's this supposed to be on? What platform? Uh? Well, I'm not allowed. Like you, I can't say. Since we're giving stories, we can't tell it. It's gonna be on

television and I think the internet. Also. I was curious, Yeah, if it was gonna be like YouTube or Hulu or like Netflix as a cable it's a cable outfit. But yeah, I wondered what happened. I just I just saw a trailer. Actually, they just put a trailer up six days ago, so I think it got it's a series, and you know, it's it's a vignette show. So it's like I'll be in there with a bunch of other people that kind

of stuff. Oh that's cool, all right. Yeah, And I did a sports list on on Fox Sports and net back when that was a thing with Summer Sanders back in the day. And so yeah, I'm just looking forward to it. There's a good cast on that. So yeah, So mine's a series. So I'm similar to what you you are well, but you're I don't know how much you're in it, but I'm only in it. I'm sure they'll put like you know, me and there maybe three

or four times total, probably the whole damn thing. But you know it's it's cool things by and those things are evergreen. Yes, so that type of show, it does it. It's not dated. You can watch it whenever. Yeah, much like this podcast. Yes, that's true unless it's not. Um And speaking of that, so I had that happened in the Hollywood realm, and then yeah, I was able and allowed to uh to jump on the right Shocking with Jason Smith last week and UH and co host with

him on Fox Book. You talk about the Knicks, the Mets, and the Jets. So we talked Jets, we talked Panthers, we talked Tiger Woods, which is great because that was the night that they rolled out the bullshit crash report and talking about the officers found a bag with with oh, now there was pills outside the car, a bottle of pills, but they weren't in the car, but they had no probable cause, which is great. So yeah, we got into that. We also that was the same day that the Mets

walked off was it Conford? Oh when he walked into that, Oh I got hit by I leaned into the pitch. Yeah that was good. I did a monologue on that that was crazy. Yeah. So yeah, I was able to run run rough shot with Jason Smith that that night. So I was the first and uh, I was great working with him. Well, we had Jason on the podcast and I uh did shows in the early days of Fox Sports Radio. Jason and I did shows with him

on the weekends. You said day and Sunday to get you guys would host run to the liquor store, right and then run back. Yeah, we would run down and we were both eating terrible diets and we'd get giant sodas, gummy sharks, Cheetos, chips. I mean, we're living the life. Man. We were doing radio on a Saturday night, eating as unhealthy as you could possibly eat. And yeah, and we love that little liquor store down the street. We'd go to the gas station. We'd go there and we stopped

going because the guy was very nice. Man. He there was a robbery got killed, and uh, that freaked us out, at least me. I don't know. I think Jason might still go there, but it freaked me out, so I stopped going Wow. Yeah, yeah, So that was the first and I was gonna do it with him. Obviously, he's a he's gotta work with and shoot the ship with us. So all right, well let's get to pop quiz right now here we go, pop Quiz. How come you don't say I'm an easy gotta work with when you fill

in on our show, on my show, you don't. You don't on the overnight show, I don't. I'm not you're rude to the callers, You're you're combative, I'm not all I'm not co hosting. This is a little bit different, you know, from for that show title for that show. You don't want any input. You don't want to listen to any kind of production advice. You don't want any sound to be implemented. You want your own games. Yes, yes, clearly,

you want calls. Calls call I know, I like to talk to the unwashed, the HOI polo, those are my people. By the way, I wonder how I'm a pilot is doing now that Joe Biden is going to tax the funking the people in the stock market tanked the last two days. Yeah, I saw that. Well, you know, that's what the people wanted. They wanted, President Biden. You get what you asked for. So I hope you enjoy that as your four oh one case go down, down down, sleepy Joe, Let's let's pop this quiz. Alright. A new

survey asked Americans to name their least favorite pizza topping. Now, anchovies often number for one, but what was number two? I'd say it's either sardines or olives. No egg plant. Oh, who the fund does that? I don't even know. I've never heard any of any egg plant that's like a California pizza kitchen type thing. I think eggplant. That's not

my thing. That's bullshit. Alright. One in five people between the ages of eighteen and thirty four are unable to do this something everyone was able to do years ago. People cannot do I was gonna say drive stick shift, but no, Uh. The answer is read a clock. Wait, read the clock. Yeah, everyone's got digital you know your your phone. They can read the phone time. But if you look at an actual clock. With the hands of the clock, they wouldn't be able to tell you what time.

I do need to sharpen up my room. Roman numerals admit that, No, I'm terrible with that. I do not know. I know the the X of the V. But they throw those extra eyes in there at the end. You know, there's certain certain Uh it's not good in the NFL. Can they stop with this this whole room Roman numeral thing? Because I got a Google all right, what was x x x x x x zero zero. I'm like, what is it? You're good with the with some of the the knowledge that may or may not be worthwhile, So

it's fine not Roman numerals. Thirty percent of us say, this is the first thing we noticed when we enter someone else's home. What is it walking into a house you've not been in and you notice this right away? The smell that is correct, the odor? Yeah, does it smell good? You know, if you sell a house, you gotta have it smelling good. I read that you need to put uh that citrus. The smell of oranges and

citrus encourages people to spend money. About that interesting? Yeah, fun fact, all right, women are more likely than men to say they are more productive at work if they do this at work. Dude, do due, dude, dude? Do do? Do? Do Do? Do? Now? Dress nicely? Well? Boy? So in this respect, you're like a woman. You're very very feminine, guest Gun. You often like to brag about how you dress. And I mean, I haven't good at tire? What's wrong with the three piece suit? Great hair, do solid beard?

I don't wear a suit. It's a Fox Sports radio? Why not I wear jeans? In the teacher, I've seen you wear a suit when you've been there this. Yeah, because I'm going to another show or a game or almost sixtent of us say that we did this in school, but haven't done it since. What is it? Read? Now, write a poem? I haven't written a poem a long time. That's why the ladies aren't knocking on your door, guest Gun, right there. The ladies like the poet. If I don't

need what's that? So? If I don't need to write a poem, then I won't. I mean, what if they are demanding a pole? Yeah, you're not going to give him the poll? Give him something else. I don't know that they want that, all right? The average one of these weighs over a million pounds. What is a million pounds? Yeah? Can I get a hint? It has nothing to do with Lizzo. It's something in the sky, a star cloud. A cloud weighs over a million pounds. Yea, How the

fun do they know? That is because of all the water the moisture in the cloud. They say, how did you How would you actually be able to weigh a cloud? You can't like weigh a cloud because it's a cloud. So how would you know? I found it on the internet all right? Eleven million of these are protected in an under round vault protected by armed guards in western Pennsylvania. Gold bricks, gold bullion, no, believe it or not. Photographs Getty Images, which is the number one by far. Getty

Images is so freaking good. And when I worked at Fox Sports dot com, No, I was actually yeahoo, Yahoo, I had access. I had a password to the Getty Images website and it was great. So the photos are amazing. Their photographers are so talented at Getty Images. But I guess they've got They've got a place, a compound out in western Pennsylvania, and that's where they store the photos. Eleven million, that's pretty awesome protected like Fort Knox of photographs.

That's pretty cool, all right. The average woman says about of the time this happens, she's disappointed. But normally it's something people would you would think be happy about. Be anything women, right, Yeah, um, how about having a how about getting pregnant? Uh no, The the answer is wait for it, wait for it, wait for it. Receiving a gift because they have higher expectations. Yeah, they gifts. Doesn't look right that the purse isn't right or the earrings

aren't right, you know whatever. According to a survey, this is the one place and the number one place that girls experienced their first kiss. Where is school? No, actually the their own backyard. That getting getting a little hanky panky in the backyard. Huh like that? Yeah you your backyard kisser. Guess guys that how you operating? Backyard? Front yard, attic, basement, classroom, classroom, principal's office. Saucy all right. Almost one third of married

women regret this. What is it getting married? It's taking their husband's last name. That lamb. Now, I don't know that you're ever gonna get married gascon but assuming you know, you catch lightning in a bottle, and that does happen at some point if the future wife says, I don't want the Gascon name because I'm offended by the district attorney in Los Angeles, Um, would you would that be problematic?

It would? I think I would not be comfortable with the engagement ring that I gave her all of a sudden. I might need it back for some other reason. Yeah, now that what are the rules on that? Did j lo ever give back the engagement ring to a rod that was worth millions of dollars? I don't know that that ever. It's a good question. I don't know. I had heard she hadn't, but that was what the tabloid said. I don't know if there was a follow up, a follow up to that. If he's not taking my last name,

I'm not taking her to be my bride. Yeah, I mean, it does seem like the traditions of the whole wedding thing is based a lot on tradition, and that's a part of the tradition. So if you're gonna go all in for the tradition, don't you have to go all all in and the you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean they go in with you know with her family, she takes my family. Um, yeah, you can cut us all of it. Yeah, I mean there's the business part

of it, the business agreement for taxes. Yeah. I have a friend of mine who who was an orphan and when he got married, he actually took his wife's last name. Is I guess is his wife like the family was just looking awesome. They took him in, treated him like like a king. But yeah, he was orphaned and um yeah he did do that. That was kind of cool. Yeah, that's it's rare. Yeah, of husband say that when it comes to this, their wives do a much better job. What is it taking care of the kids? Uh no,

taking care of the bills. Uh no, it's it involves buying something mm hmm buying groceries. Now a car, Oh maybe a new car because they can flirt with a car dealer. So a little cleavage there, a little side, I wink, a little leg. Yeah. Uh now, I believe I am the master car negotiator. And I said this the other night of the radio, but maybe you missed it. Now I have figured out the cheap code. My grandfather

actually taught me. He was a great negotiator. Haggler. Uh, and and so what you do is now, first of all, you should never buy a new car. But if you buy a new car, I'm never buying a new car again. It's always pre owned cars, used cars, whatever, because it's a big scam. As soon as you drive a new car off the lot, it depreciates immediately by thousands of dollars. So why would you buy something you know the moment you touch it it goes down in value. Makes no sense.

But if you buy a use a pre owned car, you know they these pre owned cars with low mileage. That's the way to go. Save a little bit of money. And uh, you don't have to worry about the depreciation quite as much. It's not gonna ding you as much. But here's what you do. You got to save up and and put a little nest egg together, get enough to cover either all of the car or most of the car. Right you go into the dealership. Take notes on this guest guy. You go into the dealership and

you negotiate. You find the car you want, you negotiate with the dealer. Now the dealer is gonna give you a deal based on the fact that you're going to finance the car. They want you to finance the car. You play along, right, you play dumb, you play yeah, I'll finance the car. What can we get the price down? They will lower the price if you approach this the right way. Why will they lower the price, I'll tell you because they make their money on the financing they

want you to finance. You're gonna end up paying so much more for that car because of the financing of it that they can lower the actual price of the car that you think you're paying for it because they're gonna get their money on the financing part of it, so they don't really care that much. They'll give you a sweetheart deal. And then at the very last minute, when they lock in on the price, you say, listen, I want to think about it. Can you lock in

on that price you said? They give you the thing, They write down, this is the price. I guarantee that's the price. You then sleep on it for a night and come back and say I got a deal. You show up and say, all right, I've got the cash. That's the price. Here's the cash. Boom, it's good, thank you. I should do it. Your car is a piece of ship. You should do I'm gonna to the Forerunner. It's a great car. Dent it up. You don't drive, you don't

park very well and get issues. How do you know you'ven seen the studio and I've seen you park man, I've seen you park by the way. I've been in the studio. I've had to pick up my mail. Well, some of the mail I need to pick up more mail I got mail has been consumed. I heard that the authorities have been contact the good news. Just be the first time guestcon. Let's guestcon out of trouble, right,

that's gescon for guestcone or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, a couple more here, we'll do the ending of the podcast, always saying the average person does this in seven minutes. What is it? Oh, from start to finish, showers, Uh, falls asleep. It takes me longer to fall asleep. I don't. I'm not a seven minute falls. I read that if you get five hours or less asleep and it takes you thirty minutes or more to get to sleep, you

are more susceptible to dementia or Alzheimer's. Good, I have something to look forward. That's good. Thank you for that. Alright. Uh see, forty of people say they are embarrassed by this and blame their parents for their name. Yeah, I'll give you that. It's the middle name though. Okay, what's your middle name? Uh, Seth? It's my middle name, Seth Rogan. Where'd you get Seth from? Um? It was? I think

it was a relative. I believe that's where my parents named me after Uncle Ben was he had passed away before I was around. And then there was somebody else name said what about you your what's your middle name? J? J Y J or not just the Homer J. Simpson, like J, just J the letter J. And so my my dad's middle name is is here after my grandfather. My mom did not want me to be Javier. She wanted me to have a little shorter so'll keep it at David and David J. So us right, well you

know the J. Yeah, like called Homer J. Simpson. I got a good middle name, sorry, good solid, I mean jas. My My name is perfect because my my first two initials are BS and I work in sports radio. So how perfect is that? Boy? Yeah? My first and last initials B M. So that's even better. That's even better. At Bowel movement on body mass for them all our last one. A new survey. A new survey asked people what they would miss the most if they traveled back

in time. This came in at number one gas prices. Um, what they would miss? This? Come on, this is obvious. Come on, don't don't screw this up, guest guy, Come on, come on, wait what they would miss? So like, if if we went back in time, I would back to the Roman days, and or you were there when they were building the pyramids and you can answer the mystery how they built the pyramids? This is what you admit. Um, Wow, come on, yes, he's obvious. It's something you do every day.

Cell phone, no social media, no toilet huh, a flushing, modern toilet with plumbing and all these What if you want to miss that? If you want to miss that, just go to Europe, I would say. The toilet paper is also part of that dynamic, not just a flushed toilet, but the toilet paper. Are you saying the bathrooms in Europe are not up to standard? There? I guess it is. It is probably yeah, I mean you're you're talking about that. You know, the laboratory is in a in a airplane

are small and condensed. That's what what bathrooms and toilets are like in Europe. Are you saying it's a ship house? It is. And you're not using toilet paper, You using like paper towels. It's not good. All right. We gotta get out of here. We gotta get out of guess Scott, and you're taking all my time? Hot theare you? We We have a Sunday podcast to look forward to. We have the mail Bag. Have a wonderful rest your Saturday.

We will catch you then. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app