Maller Militia Concerto

me today, It's all Big Ben today. Danny'll be back on Saturday and Sunday. And this is a musical Mallard podcast. We do this because four hours a night or not enough on the overnight, eight days a week in the Magic Podcast studio at a secret location somewhere in the north Woods. And so normally on Friday we schmooze with someone typically from the world of sports, sometimes politics, occasionally will dabble in pop culture. But somebody that's interesting, that

has stories to tell. But why is this day different than all other days? We have an amazing gift to give you to close out. It is a special Mallard Concerto. Back on Thanksgiving night, I was sitting in my normal position in the catbird seat doing the show, talking about Thanksgiving football, and my engineer Chris, who was in for Roberto, said, hey, we gotta start playing holiday music in our number two and I said, wait a minute. For the rest of

the year, we're gonna have to play holiday music. And so as a way to get back at management, I said, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna ask the Mallard Militia two come up with the original songs, lyrics, parodies, songs, whatever holiday music you can come up with as a way to poke back at management. And boy did the Mallard Militia ever respond. We did not expect this kind of contribution of content, and we thought maybe we'd get a few songs. Instead, we got an entire box set.

I know it's an outdated reference, but we have a lot. We have a lot turning music into memories. Uh, And I really want to thank everyone that submitted a song. I think we have everything. Maybe we're missing one or two, but I'm pretty sure we have every song that was submitted that got played on the air. We're even going to play a song that I don't believe has been played on the air. And so thank you to the hard working men and women, and you know who you are,

who have insomnia and a musical gift. And I am jealous because there are some very talented musicians that happened to be up late at night listening to us. And some of you are better than others. Not all songs are equal, but the effort was there and you went beyond the call of duty and for that we thank you. So going into recording studios, garages, man caves, basements to provide audio gold And as the late, great iconic DJ Casey Caseum said back in the day, keep your feet

on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. I'm glad I didn't run over Casey and kill him the time I almost did. So without further ado, let's get to the music. You don't want to hear what I have to say. You want to get to the music. So these are all holiday songs that were submitted by listeners to the Ben Mallard radio show here in the year. Late in the year, and this is a Mallard Militia concerto and the face the music situation We start with

He'll Billy Mike and this is an unentitled record. It's Frosty the Snowman with a Mallard show twist to kick off this Mallard militia concerto. Here is hill Billy Mike Benjaman Mallard should be on your radio. He's got a bad time slot. Buddy, don't get hot because he likes it, don't you know? He Garcie uh is been Mallers may sidekick. He's a Steeler fan. Hard to understand. He plays with

charger thundersticks. There's got to be some kind of magic rolled up in Coop's great big blunts because hook Lyne and Sinker. He believes all the Democrats dump stunts, Busness the menace, cooking Mama gun new Shed at night, talk a little smack about Denverse crap, and Cooper Loop is ready to fight. Tumpity thump thump tumpedy thump, the mad Hatter of Scorch Chatter, tumpity thump tump tumpy thump dump, the bannering Broadcaster. We have the great Sambony. We've got

the liar liar. Oh Roberto is the chef. He's got the hat he's not the tender Rhney pro Ben's callers are freak show. Some might be on LSD. We love some calls and we hate some calls. Geniu med Third rest in pees. There's got to be some kind of magic in Coope's favorite Bongy smokes because he has to screen a ton of calls from a lot of crazy folks. Money Bam Maller is the mughul mischief. If his boss says ever listened to the show, We're gonna miss him

on the late night shift. Dumpity thump thump thump ofy thump thump, a chasm of sarcas um, dumped e thump thump tumpuy thump thump bny the Brazen Wow. Good job, Thank you, Mike outstanding. The songs continue. Next up we have the Mallard Town Philharmonic Chamber Choir. That's a mouthful, but what a talented ensemble effort this song is. And give it up now to Jay Scoop, Just Josh, the Ozzy Guy, Tammy and Montana, Robbie the Mariner fan Inca Terror,

Justin in Cincinnati and Rob in Vegas. They collaborated all over the United States and internationally with the Ozzy guy to provide. Mallard got rear ended by a John Deere and here it is the Mallard Town Philharmonic Chamber choir. Lollard got related by John Dear, Joving, Lex and alexandris La. You can say there's no one like line that's for shall we believe? She'd been drinking whiskey and white cloud

you're drinking and said up to dry. But when she put the key, ignition ain't tiny ring dude did not survive When they found her Christmas morning, passed out next to the accident, it was empty beer canzy in her cooler and her breath was freaking heavy of pepper Man. Mallard I re ended on Deer driving back to maur to Chrissy. You can say it really wasn't his fault.

He never took ahead. Just since we now the hand is on the table and some banana Creepie Blair with the turkey and some stuffy Gena brought the tudgean dons wine. It's about Christmas without drama, healthy game of balder dash. You see Eddie Gus Sarah's lifeline tuning passive facos into cash. Mallard got rehended by John Dear driving back to Miletown Christmas Eve. You can see he's picking up the orders

and they're offering supermarket. See can change. Mallard got relinded by a John Deer driving back to Millardown Christmas Eve. You can see he's in the air and everywhere. And as for the issue, we believe wonderful, wonderful. I love that and my favorite part of that song is trying to figure out who's who, Like the Ozzy guy, I got the Ozzy guy, I have their uh Tammy and Montana I kind of recognize her. I'm trying to figure out where Robbie the Mariner fan is an Inca terror

and Robin Vegas and all these guys. But tremendous job by all. Thank you so much guys for submitting that song and the effort that went into that. All right, Next up on this Mallard Militia Concerto Radio Active. Ryan, our buddy Ryan submitted a song and it's titled flexis the Seven Toad drag Queen. I believe this one was my request from Eddie Garcia. But without further ado, here's our little tribute. Ryan's tribute to the Drag queen caller

from Buffalo seven toes or is it eight toes? Flexis here is the tune Malicia will tune into Listen will be popular, Polish it, tell it g listened? What do you even know? The best? He she on the bed mellashow. Alexis the seventh oil track. Queen only has seven toes. Actually, I think it's a if you count the one that grows. One of alexis rivals challenged him to not take gun, but he decided to flee. Now Roxanne's a royalty thanking the bell and meet and greet. The blind Scott came

to see Alexis since I've got no sight? Will you sit on my plunge of tonight now that the song is over and it's time to go to sleep. Alexis the seven to trag Queen. I think you're all right? Bind me. Hey, little buddy, this sounds really again. Will you say we are living on a little bit more answer? Flexus is Heaven, don't trag. Queen only has seven toes. Actually, I think it's a if you count the one that grows. When a Flexus rivals tell us to do not ta gun,

but he decided to flee. Now Roxanne's a royalty, didn't kill the nurther met and greet and blunch God came to see Alexus and so I've got no site. Will you sit on my plunry tonight now that the song is whole thing and it's kid to go to sleep, Alexis to seven coach track, Queen, I think you're right by me. Well, next up, good job Ryan, that was I enjoyed that. Always fun to have a good time

with flexis on the radio. And next up, a whole bag full of amazing music from an unbelievably talented musician. Mr pc is his name. He lives in the great State of Michigan, resides in Flint, Michigan. And this is a man that has the gift. He has the gift of mu music. And he actually went in from what Cooper was telling me, into a recording studio and had this back and forth with one of the other people the recording studio who are upset that he was sending

these songs to our show for free. And so this became a competition. And I don't know all the details, but from what I understand, we were the beneficiary of many more songs than originally we're planned, so let's give it up now. Mr PC from Flint, Michigan. The first song he submitted a blue Mallard, and the holiday hits continue on this Mallard militia concerto. It would be Mallord without Bend. I contain Christmas brigny sad, my friend, no tree,

no stockings, no Christmas cards too sad. It would be a blue Christmas blout Ben Balloon. It would be a blue miss means without Ben Mallord. Gentle Bend so kind and friendly peas, don't give us prime falling sat a. Please give us Bend back for Christmas. Outstanding, wonderful prival. Good job by you, Mr PC, and we have a whole bunch more Mr PC songs. Next up, the hits continue with let it Mallard from Mr PC. Oh, the weather outside is brightful, but Mallard is so delightful, So

turn on your radio. Listen to the Ben Mallard Show. While Roberto finds drops forward dropping whoop, the loop always keeps things hopping, and Eddie's a total throw. Listen to the bend Man Allers Show. But they only come on that night. F s R won't allow it during the day and the call screeners filled with fright. You never know what the colors will say. Oh flexis and gay upperil is decked out for Christmas carols, belt buckles made

of missile toad. Listen to the Ben mad Show. Oh oh well, as you know that that one of my favorite tunes. Well maybe not that version it's all about me, but the original version that you played off of. Great job, Mr PC. Here's Mr PCs and ex hit the Twelve

Days of Mallard wonderful. Here we go on the twelfth Day of Christmas, My true twelve Hetty Garcia's Justin Cook Burst, Comerto Flores, Chris from Houston, Dick from Dayton from Brooklyn's, Tammy's from Montana for Angry Bills, three half Drinking Brian from one classic to another again all these songs, these next few songs from Mr pc from Flint, Michigan. And this next tune is a family favorite, Mother the Reindeer

from Mr PC. Here it is you know, Eddie Garcia and Coop da Loope Cooper Roberto Flores is simply super. But recall the most blov eighteen of M M B B L L. Yeah, I gotta tell you Mother the reindeer much better than Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. I think you'll agree all right. Next up another tune from Mr pc very talented musician out of Flint, Michigan, and here it is the most wonderful time of the year. It's the most wonderful time when the Bendalas Show wishes

all of it's listeners joyt good. It's the most wonderful time. Certain dumbnotes outti the reindeer time Santo long neat his slay when he heads half, that's way he'll be onions. It's the most wonderful time from any to blest to shuffle and Jolly Dick then gathers all of his friends under time. Raise your glass, here's to have. If Doc Knight gives a toast, you can bet that he's most

likely not drinking beer. He's the most wonderful time, a marvelous, absolutely marvelous, as our Mallard Militia concerto continues and Mr p see back with another tune, Felice Navidad, a classical Christmas holiday tune, And here is Mr PCs spin on that Felice Navida from carc Felice Navi, Felis Navi, The Little Show Felice Nay, Felice not die in bat belease not die Little Show. I want to wish you a ball of Christmas. I wanna wish you a mall of Christmas.

I wanna wish you a mett of Christmas. From the bottom for my heart, I wanna wish you a mall of Christmas. I want to win as you a mallor Christmas. I wanna wish you at Christmas. From the bottom. We want to wish you all Chris. You want to wish you allam We want to wish you all Christmas. Proble motto. We want to wish you a ball of I want to wish you allasatom. We want to wish you all Christmas. Problem bottom love hearing it. Mr PCs Felice Navi did

next up our final submission. What a wonderful group of songs this has been from Mr PC and the last song we have that he sent us is called Flexis Nuts. That's the name of the song, so let's get right to it. Here. It is Mr PC with another hit, Alexis Nuts roasting on an open fire. Doc Mike sipping on some peace, Angry Bill. It's a cheap little thrill from Tammy in Montana. Don't you know everybody knows the colors to the Mallar Show. Will it help to make

this season right? Each and everyone are a bundle of fun. You'll find it hard to sleep tonight. You know that ha Pin went away beer drinking Cryin's on his own, but that's okay. He's got the Mallarty to be his friends with Eddie Coope, De Luke, Roberto and Big Bend and so we'd man hippies just a memory and others I simply shall not name. The Mallar Militia would just like to wish you merry Christmas. Two you Bravo, bravo, thank you. I love the lyrics, the amount of time

that you put into that. You even brought in for one of the songs there you had a female with you. Thank you. Tremendous job, Mr PC. And I wish I knew more about you. I wish I could promote you somehow. If there's any way I can do that, please let me know email me. But you're a very talented musician and I do thank you for sending all these songs in and giving a lot of smiles to people that

listen to our little radio show. Moving on from mr PC, Next up we have Brian listener, Brian, He's in Bowling Green. He also has the gift of music. And the submission from Brian and Bowling Green is Here comes Mallard Claus and here it is next up on the fifth hour with Ben Maller. Here comes Malaclaus. Here comes Mali Blaws right now Mala Claus Lane. He's got hot takes. He's own here again. Eddie Garcia justin Cooper Raider roperter to to eight basic meat compas coming to you because Mana

Claus comes to nine. If you're dumps Mali class here dumps Mami Clause right down Malaclause Lane. He's got the best call ex for John hours holding on the line names story. Cristal loves to his Arro and Blair shot at coming again. So let's get face to Channi and Montana. Because Mala Claus comes stand nine to her comes Mala Claus.

Here comes Mala Clause right down Malaclause Lane. He loves the Claspers Rams and Jersey bashing Lebron again Mona Laus Town where Rado game goos the instant advice line and down from the podcast is that's a catchy little tune. I like that, all right? Moving on from here comes Mallard Claus. A couple of our favorites, say, very decorated group of listeners. Jay Scoop, multiple winner in previous Mallard

talent shows, and Just Josh in Cincinnati, a collaboration. Jay Scoop is in Seattle, and we mentioned Just Josh in Ohio. And these guys have become friends via the radio show and they teamed up for this next song. Have yourself a Mallard little c is miss, Have yourself a Mollard little Christmas. Let your heart take shine. From now on, your shutting Freuda will be mine. Have yourself a Mollard little Christmas. Make a game show plays from now on. It its's golden tickets all the way you We are

swollen lexicons, verbal octagons and snows. Fox Sports friends. Have a drink to us. The Militia bass is yours. Through the years, we all listen together as the Grimlas cross hang a shining Marconi upon your walls. So have yourself a mother little Christmas now, and have yourself a mother, little Christmas Now wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, Ja Scoop and just Josh. You guys always provide a level material, nothing shabby, no cutting corners, and I enjoyed that a lot. Have yourself

a mallard little Christmas. Well. Next up we go to Ohio Owl and my man Ohio Al who wrote the song that we play on the mail bag on the Sunday edition of The Fifth Hour. That's a little jingle, just a small little jingle, Ohio giving us this latest tune. He sent two songs in the first song we're gonna play is half pint got run over by her? John Dear. Sounds good to me. Let's enjoy the work of Ohio out.

Half might got run over by her Charney going back to prison Christmas Eve, you can see there's no such things, is promer bear drinky Bryan you believe she's been snorting too much better Brian's bay, do not to go put her curlough. It was over. So she stumbled out of the door into the soul. When they found her Christmas small and at the scene of the attack, there would be a cans on her. John Deal and long moramards on going back calf might got run over by the

John Dee is going back to prison Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing. It's calmer bear drinking Bryan believe. Now we're all so proud of crying. He's been taking this so well. He's sitting there watching his biking, drinking beery whiskey as is a swell. It's not Christmas without hand fine. All the family screams a shout and we just can't help. But wonder why did the prison ever let him out? I find got run over by her? John didn't going back to prison Christmas Eve. You can

say there's no such it's calm, be a drinking Bryan believe. Wow, well, just wait until half point gets out of the slammer. She leaves the Gray Bar Hotel, Ohio All, and she's gonna hear your song and she's gonna be so happy. What an amazing gift to her when she gets out of the the jail that she's in in Missouri. Well, next up from Ohio awl the untitled Silent Night parody.

So here's another hit from our guy Ohio al side God grown strung Jo will know this breathing to cool this creeding cold shine and no well dener sticks to FRANKI wor si fils the bad more feelings sound, it's fall the food by should hear by please eating pours in at a point she die without grown strong one chick and bridles all put you know, listen sad of yo, don't need don't cle love it, love it, love it,

love it. Good job, Thank you, ohio all. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, wonderful end of the year. Next up on this Mallard Militia Concerto, we go to Richmond, Virginia the r v A and listener Joe with a very catchy Mallar theme song that will have you tap in your toes. It's right now on the fifth hour. I don't need presents underneath the Christmas tree so bright, no gaming consoles, TVs. I don't even need a bike.

I don't need a brand new phone. All I needs radio so that I can listen to the Band Maller Show. All I need is the Band Maller Show. I saw little swear that I will support and defend the Ben Maller Show against all enemies. Born in domestic and I'm a little bay the orders to Loopie's belief fight back against odd stylet tax from rival sports, gas bags and blow herds. So help me God, Happy Holiday. Thank you Joe.

That was outstanding. I appreciated good job by you. And you are also one of the very talented people that has submitted music over the last couple of years. And we do thank you, Joe for all the work that you put in to give back to a marginal overnight radio show. This next song likely sums up the Mallard militia more than any other song and what the show is all about. In a previous talent show, we discovered a man that has a gift. It's not really a gift that you can monetize, but it is a gift.

God gives gifts in all forms. And we present now the Boston Burper. That's right, the Boston Burper, our friend from Bean Town. He called up and he gave us an amazing song. Ben Mallard is coming to town, all through the art of the burp. And here's how that sounded. Dad who want Joe? Dad are not grind, Dad are not bound? Damn Dela Ua dead. Mallory is go back to town. Ben Mallor is Goban to down Burpitty Burp Burp for the Boston Burper. Good job by you. Next

up we stay in the Northeast. We go from Boston, we drive up to Maine and Harry Violin, Harry, this guy rocks it. Everything this man has sent has been wonderful. And he is a professional musician. I'm not sure exactly what he does, but I know a little bit about him, but not much. All I know is I like the music that he has sent into our show, and we're lucky to have him as a listener. So Harry in May now with let It Snow, the Mallard themed edition.

Oh the weather Maine is frightful. Both the boys are so delightful. If you got no place to go, you can go to the Ben mall the show. Oh the phone are always hopping with those calling cooks that popping. Whenever you feeling boom, you can go to Ben Malli show cooping Itty up all night so food can called up on the phone. And if Riverto does things you just right, they're gonna be called until dune. So if your night is dragon and you're tired of all that bragging,

there's no need to feel low. You can go to the Ben. You can go to the Ben. You can go to Ben Mai show outstanding job by you, Harry, thank you for that. The hits continue here. The next couple of tunes are little mini songs sent in by the Real Dale from Rosedale, in the real Deal in the Baltimore area. And he called us up and had a couple of little ditties that he wanted us to share. And the first couple are about Brian Finley. The first song from the Real Dale from Rosedale is a tribute song.

It's titled Finley Blows. And here's that tune. Oh, the Finley updates are frightful. They're too long to be delightful. And if you really want to know the true Finlay's updates are long. In the two well, he tries to be better than Eddie, but he sounds like ugly Betty. Every Mather Militia remember knows Finley blows. Finley Blows. Finley Blows. Next up from the Real Dale from Rosedale, another song goofing on Brian Finley. It's Finley's Girl and here it

is Finley's Girl, Finley's Girl. We will never meet man' TEUs so his girlfriend wepter offer beet Finley Girl, Finley's girl. We will never meet manteus, though his girlfriend wept their offer feet. Well, if that wasn't good enough, the Real Dale from Rosedale has another song, his final submission, and this self explanatory. A little tip of the cap to Doc Mike from Chicago who was on the podcast not that long ago. But here's the Real Dale from Rosedale.

The song titled Drink all Your urine. Okay, then here it is. Oh come drink your yours, that will be your cureing es, drink up your youran, says Doc Mike. Drink oh you're your and that will be your cure. Oh drink a love your your and oh keep your yellow pooring oh yellow fans a door and Doctor Mike, well you can't help but smile. You can't help but smile at that. Next up, the final song. Yes you have made it all the way to the end of this special edition of the Mallard Militia Concerto, and this

next song comes to us from Madison, Wisconsin. Cathy from Madison huge fan. You might know her from her previous work. Hey Mona, Cathy is back with another hit and it's titled Twas a few weeks before Christmas. This song never played before unless I missed it, never played before on the radio. We're gonna debut it on this podcast. You're going to get to hear it before anybody else hears it. And this is the tune Kathy from Madison twas a few weeks before Christmas. And here it is. It was

a few weeks before Christmas. The creature was stirring, thank god, not even a mouse. The stations were tuned on my radios with chairs in hopes that Ben Mallard will be there. The militia was sitting awake on our beds, the visions of theater against in our lines. They can date in an un banjo and I on mandolin. We're frying on reins with a four hour all night when on the radio there arose such a clatter, and I who in an instant it must be Ben Mallard. His eyes pony twiggled,

his dimples, how merry. His cheeks are like roses, but his nose isn't like a sherry, because that would be really weird, even for this show. And we heard him below being in the middle of the night in there everywhere. Well, thank you, Kathie. I appreciate that. You know that came from the heart and all of these songs, every one of the talented people that sent these songs in that spent some of the time they have focused on providing us with some entertainment. Boy, do we think I wish

I could send you guys all something. I got no budget, I got nothing, but trust me, it does mean a lot. And you're making a lot of people happy who have heard this podcast and have been listening to the Terrestrial Radio show. Have a great rest of your day today. We'll be back over the weekend and we'll have original podcast all weekend long. I really want to thank Danny G Radio. I want to thank the Cooper Loop and Roberto.

There were a lot of moving parts to get all these songs together, and everyone joined forces and spent some of their valuable time making sure everything sounded good on this podcast. So thank you guys, Danny Gee for doing the technical stuff on this podcast. He'll be back with me over the next couple of days yapping into microphones And thanks to Coope and Roberto again, you guys were great helping us out. Have a wonderful rest of your day, and we'll catch you next time.