Love Line

o the day. Whatever time you are downloading this podcast, we thank you for supporting The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller because four hours are not enough, and we are in the air everywhere the vast power of my heart, the global reach of podcasting available now eight days a week. About that, just like that old Beatles song, eight days a week. And as always, I am joined by David guest Gard known as I was gonna call you something else but gag. He's on his guy gone. What yours?

Very conny to properly introduce me saying that loud and proud gas con Have you sent Doc Mike any money for coming up with your nickname? Have you sent him any kid? Doc Mike? I was no Mike. I got my Mike's mixed up. That's a bad job by me, the great Mike North, Chicago radio legend, one of my heroes in radio, Mike North, fearless, that guy fearless prepared called me by the right name, and uh was promptly left Fox Sports Radio a couple of weeks after that.

The that was the funniest when I first heard the gag on Drop, Oh my god, that was hilarious. Was it really like, can you take me through that please? So let's romanticize. I loved you. I was a lead in for Mike North and Andy Furman when they did the Morning Show, and I love both those guys because Furman's, you know, a classic radio guy, you know, paranoid like everybody else, and and it's it was great. I've I met them. It came out, did some shows from l A and we got to hang out with them, and

it was really good. Guys. Love hanging out with like lifetime radio guys. You know, we all have the same wartz that we have to deal with. But my favorite part of that show was like during the breaks when the producer would be like hey, you know, they tell like Andy, hey, Andy, you messed that, or they tell Doc They're like, Doc, you messed up something or not Doc uh Mike North I came on and call him Doc Mike. But because you know, I hear Chicago, I

think Doc Mike. But there was a Mike. He messed something up and then Mike would get excited when they tell Andy that he messed up. He loved was the greatest thing in the world. But but those guys were were wild man, just absolutely crazy. And uh, Mike's doing well local Chicago radio now and and he's still on Fox Sports Radio and he still does stuff in Cincinnati,

so they're still doing their things, so that's good. Yeah, Jonas was the producer for them for a little while, and he used to tell me some great stories with those guys when obviously behind the scenes, off the microphone type of stuff. And yeah, half the ship that they set off the air would would get them fired to me, but it was it was wonderful. It was some of the some of the rants that they would go on

were hilarious. And every once in a while, like they would say something on the air, they would let one slip past the goaltender and be like, oha, wait a minute, called into the principal's office. There that's a problem that's a bad job. So coming up on today's edition of the podcast, we have a we did pop quiz yesterday, we did study this yesterday. Today we have the inbox. But before we get to the inbox, we begin with don't stick to sports. These are the bizarro stories of

the week. What is on the menu? Hear Gaestcard, this is your playground. What's on the menu? Well, I think the first thing we need to acknowledge is that month to date, band we're up nine in total downloads. That is absolutely amazing, pretty good. How awesome is that? That is good? Of course we're doing two extra shows a week, so at the point that we might be. But even during the NFL season, we didn't see this kind of outreach downloads. Wild man, I'm I'm I'm getting it. You

know the radio show. More people are listening now than ever. They're watching you too. It's amazing. I think I think that. I think it's such. I think it's like it's fascinating that you're putting yourself out there. I really encouraged by the uh, the type of nature that you've gone about this. They're showing my masculinity you're doing you have got a lot of cestosterone. Yeah, I have. And I like to show people that you're machismo, that the real extrovert coming

into this. Now you're progressive, you have that vision. That's uh, it's fascinating. Um, other stick you'd like to to spit out of your mouth. There's your routine over or you've got more rhetoric. I got more rhetoric. But how about this, Um Minneapolis, Minnesota. You've you've visited there right, only the airport a few times, only the air But I need to go out. I need to go I was planning on going to Minnesota this year. I was gonna do Minnesota, do a Millard meet and greet in the Twin Cities.

We had Vegas this weekend. We were supposed to be in Vegas hanging out with Queen rocks In and some of the other big stars Robin Vegas and yeah, I think Jay Scoop was gonna come down from Seattle, some of the big stars of the mall um wish We're gonna unite and have an NFL draft party. Yeah that sucks. That did not happen obviously, so but yeah, I gotta get to Minnesota hang out. We had so many great listeners in Minnesota that are big fans of the show.

But I have not done much traveling around Minnesota. What what do we need to know about Minnia. The reason why I bring that up is because of this. A man led police in a high speed chase on the Indiana Toll Road, reportedly because he said he thought troopers wanted to race him. This is last night or a couple of nights ago, excuse me, in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Man found himself. He went to jail for not stopping when

Indiana State troopers were on pursuit of him. And uh, it happened to the guys from Minnesota, but this happened in Indiana. Yeah, okay, so uh it's happened right around nine ten o'clock at night too. And he was he was not toxicated. But he basically went from the crossover, uh near the ninety six mile marker on the Indiana Toll Road and police observed him in his Mustang. He was driving a hundred and twenty miles per hour on the understate. You're going seventy miles, bro, that's the maximum

speed limits. So what's the fastest you've driven in late night hours? There? I will acknowledge a hundred and sixteen. Yeah. I once I get over, like ve, I started freaking out because I'm like, if one thing fucking goes wrong here, yeah, it's lights out, parties over, you're dead. Um. We just saw that with that NFL player right that died. He was speeding, they said, and that led to oh yeah, was it to Various Jackson? Uh to Various? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

exactly exactly. Um I drove. I think the speed that was in with that was an old school Honda prelude. I don't know if you remember those cars, but had our next girl from back in the day that owned one before, um, I would have been smoke and uh yeah, I hit the accelerator a little too hard. But anyways, Yeah, can you imagine you're having a hundred twenty miles per hour on an interstate I can imagine thinking, hey, there's

nobody around. But that was at nine o'clock at night, right, Yeah, one thing like in the middle of the night, But what the heck, what's going on? Yeah? Pretty nice thing about this though, is he was pretty elusive with what he was doing. Um they were pursuing him, and he also was able to avoid not only the pursuit, but those stop sticks that assisted troopers. Um. They had him set up on the on the interstate and he was able to turn off a couple of different times and

then get back on the road. So um, little Bonnie and Cloude action, that's pretty nice. Wow, that's wow. Man, that's good. That's a good thing to tell the police. Those you know, I thought you just guys want to race, you know, fust this thin could go by, not wait to do it? Um. I know some of your listeners get a little loose with their lips on the radio with you all the time. How many of them are pretty active on social media too? Uh well, a lot

of these guys get blocked. They have to change accounts and all that stuff. It's it's an endless struggle most of them. All right. Well, New York Daily Post is reporting a new study that's out there that Daily Post or the Daily News. No New York Post. I thought you said, you said Daily Post you can find sorry

New York Post. Um, they have a new study out that's that's been prevalent with the coronavirus, that's sexting as skyrocketed with the stay at home orders in place, right now so not only sexting, but also tweets um for dudes looking for for nudes and also guys that are shipping off crank pis to to the females. Reportedly, the study has it it's an increase of two and it's gonna three hundred and eighty four percent from the beginning of March to where we're at in April right now?

Is that right? But that look at that way to go? How about that? Everybody? You got nothing else to do? So send the photos around? Why not? That makes sense? Now? When you're when that in porn consumption must be through the roof on the Porner website. Have they gone I don't. I haven't looked recently, guest, and you look at that stuff all the time at porn. Have they gone to coronavirus theme porn where the women are wearing masks and all that? Yet? Not? Yeah, that's that's gonna be a

new S and M category. And but I'm sure they'll come to, uh, to a porn studio near you we live, because when we got a couple got a couple of cities here that are known for a Chatsworth is one right? Uh? Well, yeah, Chatsworth is thenecca. That's the Vegas is the gambling mecca. Chatsworth is the porno mecca. That's where I think they still all live in either Chatsworth or adjacent to Chatsworth. Yeah. Yeah, they still do a lot of that. So and you

you worked in porn for several years. That's how you got your start in media. You were a porn actor for many years from porn, went from I went from porn to sports talk radio very similar exactly. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. How about this. A man in Louisiana is a little piste off because he received the stimulus check. Ben. It's not for the

reason you think. He was mad that he had not received the full amount, so he set his mom's shed on fire. It seems reasonable. Man. Yeah, one year old man was so mad last week that he lit his mother's shed on fire. That's according to Louisiana Oppoe State Police. Uh saying that so special. Shoutout this time of the year when you need your taxpayer dollars. Coming back to you and you say it's not enough. I need a little bit more. Mom, Mom, where am I at? That's

not unhinge at all. That's I think most normal rational people be like, hey, you know, that's like, what was that movie Stepbrothers. That's like something that would happen in that movie Stepbrothers and another Stepbrothers. Move by the way, you've been watching You've been watching what the Sopranos? Yeah, that's been my thing here, going back through the Sopranos and catching up on those shows and watching documentaries that's

mostly would have been doing. Yeah, fair enough. Um, how about this here in Los Angeles, a former pharmacy technician has been charged with stealing antimillaria tablets. Really yeah, it's the city of Torrance. It's right next to me in the South Bay. He was charging two filony counts. Probably know the second degree burglary, No, I don't. I looked. Everyone works to the four or five knows, everyone wants to the four or five us all hang out together,

you little bougie parties and all that stuff. I'd like to call that Manhattan Beach. You know Ata Monica, I know, I know Marina del Ray, I know the whole thing at all, Venice, Beverly Hills, nothing, Malibu, Malibu boo. Yeah, the guys stole more than Laguda Beach, the Lagoda Beaches not what a you're talking about? The west of the four oh five. It's southeast there, your dad. It's still west of the four. Four or five ends in Irvine, and Lagoda Beach is just west of where the four

or five in. Wow. The four or five is shaped like an s. You can get there's an off ramp you get off of. Yeah, but that's off the four oh five, So screw you. Anyways, this guy stole more than seven hundred tablets of cloroquinn um a few days ago. Obviously was pot for that. I thought he could get away with it. He thought he was. It was a perfect crime. He tried anyway at um. The total value of those tablets nearly seven thousand dollars. So he's facing

a maximum four years and four months in jail. I hope he enjoys that. I hope he enjoys that. Good luck. They're like, there's a black market for that, like you have to sell. I used to have a friend in San Diego that would get viagra from his doctor and sell it to people for twenty five dollars a pill. Is that dollars a fucking pill? Yes? Wow, believable. I mean the whatever people take, like any kind of narcotic that's labeled on the you know you need the prescription

for people will pay a healthy amount. Viagra dolls. I get you something you need it. I'm good? Are you well? I know you? I know you have a lot though, I mean you use it every every weekend. You got plenty there. Yeah, and I never leave the city of Los Angeles. Um are you? Are you? Are you armed? I am armed and dangerous. I got guns, I got diflects.

These are guns I got right here. I bring that up because of this there's um there's new artificial intelligence that's out there by a professor up in northern California, was a graduate of cal Berkeley UM. The device, which was in the m I T Technology Technology Review, actually has artificial intelligence that can monitor people's movements when they're out on the streets and detect that they're keeping in

close are far enough proximity? Do the coronavirus outbreak? This is George orwell night for big brother Big brothers watching you? How you dealing with that. I don't care this, and you know what, it doesn't bother me. I don't as long as they don't like arrest me. That would be uh that. You know, I don't like fascism and all that. But there you go. Well it's just your your civil liberties been. I mean, you don't want me looked upon? No, I don't want to be looking of course, nobody wants

to be looked upon. Who wants to be looked upon? Nobody wants to be looked upon. It's obvious. I just saw the story A man has eating six hundred cheese steaks in the last two years and the coronavirus is not stopping him. What was the last time you had a cheese steak? Well, I had a homemade cheese steak which was fucking amazing, and I probably will make one neither today or in the next couple of days. I love the cheese steak. It is the number one sandwich.

It is the most great. I mean that guy Fats, it was Fats in Philly. Is he the guy that ate the six hundred cheese steaks? This guy's fifty seven years old and he lives in Philadelphia, though, right that's if you live in Philadelphia. When in Rome, act like a Rome, do as the Romans. When in Philadelphia, do as the Philadelphias. And I agree. If you live in the Delaware Valley you eat five hundred seventy eight cheese steaks,

why not, that's Philadelphia. You You're not really having a proper Philly Chase steak where you're at in the I am. I I have. I'll tell you why. Because I get the bread. I go there's a smart and Final market that has the rolls from Philadelphia. I get the authentic pro bolone cheese. I get the thin, thin sliced ribby, and then I chop up the onions and the bell peppers and all that and then mix it all together. Yeah, you can't tell me. I don't know. I've been to

Philadelphia and eating the real thing. I've eaten the authentic cheese steaks, so I know what the real cheese steak taste like, and I can make a good knockoff version of the cheese steaks. Cooking is not that good. I want to point out the gut what's wrong. That's gonna be deleted on the podcast. Right. My cooking is great. I've actually gone to the cheese steak place, and I've watched how they make the cheese like. I've looked at like I have the same. I even bought. This is

how in the cheese steak. I got a griddle. I bought a griddle. I put on the barbecue and I got the same You know that flipper, that pie flipper thing. I got that. That's how they make the cheese steak, and that's how they chop up the ribbon I got. I got the same tools. I'm qualified. Once this radio doesn't work out anymore, I could make cheesesteaks for a living. I would trust Blind Scott on a phone call more than I trust you cooking. I don't start with that

guy that he just spanned my inbox this week. I don't. I don't want to talk about him. A nightmare. That guy has turned out to be the last week. He needs to snap out of that quick. I got a lot of uh I since the purge, there's a lot of people that really sucked up to you. They're now coming to to the good side here, and uh I just want to let them know that I'm a good, capable shoulder of the cry on. So if you need any talking through and Ben's being mean to you. You

come over, make sure to give you a following. Another night in shining armor there, David Gascon, all right, night and shining on the damsel in distress yet again, what a hero. I don't think you have any damsels? Do many beautiful damsels, and apparently they're all in distress. According to you, they're all in distress. That's what we got for not sticking to sports. All right, let's go to the mail bag. These are actual questions from actual listeners.

Will get right into it. We will not waste any time. No lollygaggy, no grab bass. This is from Matt in Mansfield, Texas. He says, Guys, I'm getting used to seeing and hearing people in the media broadcast from separate places rather than being in a studio together. Do you think that this will continue post shutdown? And to what extent? So from

Matt in Mansfields, Texas. Well, that's a great question, Matt, and I know there's some people in radio that I've dealt with that are very concerned that this is going to become the new permanent, not the new normal, just the new permanent. I am optimistic that it's not going to be like this. I got like that. As I said in an earlier episode, I would like to do the show occasionally from home, even when things get back to normal, but I still would rather go into the

radio station. And I got into radio to go into the radio station. But I do think that some broadcast companies will say, hey, we can save money. Costs a lot of money to put those TV studios together. It was a lot of money for the radio studios, the infrastructure and all that stuff. And if you can sit save that by not having the people actually go there and still have the product. A lot of people who are frugal trying to cut corners will be like, hey,

that's the way to do it. We can save some money. Now, there are hosts of Fox Sports Rael that do come into the student to do their show. Why have you not, Well, I'm glad you have. Scott Shapiro told me that under the California guidelines and the federal guidelines and all that stuff that they the I Heart Media Mandate was for most of their talent to work from home. And I was on the list of important integral talent essential that needed to work from home. And I don't know what's

going on with the other guys. I you can ask them if you want, I can give you their phone numbers. I don't know who you're referring to, but if you want to talk to any of them and you know, say why are you coming into work? And you're free to do that. But uh, that that's my situation. I was asked by management to not come in for an extended period until this is done, and so I'm following

instructions not to answer Matt's question too. A lot of college networks actually do this, are ready, they've been doing it for several years, Like the Pac twelve and the Big ten do it where they'll have their home operations

taking place at their network sites. They'll have different edit base for producers and graphics and a director and a producer that all camp out there, and sometimes they'll even have the broadcasters in those same edit bays, and all they'll do is they'll take an internet feed from the actual campus with two or three videographers or static cameras, and then that's how they broadcast the games. So yeah, when you think about condensing and having these things brought

down a little bit, it makes sense. On to certain degrees. But yeah, like you said, Ben, it's just something intimate and great about being in the studio where you can

actually like work with everybody in here. I know you don't like to work with everybody that you work with, but being here in the same building and just adds a little bit different of an element as opposed to working at home on your backside with most most people, those that watched like television news, you want to see the anchors side by side on the set, you know, that's what. You don't want to see them in their kitchen,

in their living room and all that. Alright, Mike from Boston, Right, guys, why did the Pilgrims have buckles on their hats? Then? Um, I guess they probably had extra buckles and they thought it was like a fashion statement. They're like, hey, why not be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. All of my hat and my buckle on my pants match Angel writes. It says, Sir Benjamin, what is your favorite way to gamble your money away in the casino?

Not including sports wagering? Well, I've mentioned that I like playing Roulette. I know people say, oh, you shouldn't play roulette the odds or against you, but I like roulette. I have a system that has done pretty well for me, although it only works at the tables. It doesn't work on video roulette. UM, so I've done pretty well with that, and I've I've occasionally followed around the craps table and

you know, following somebody quote unquote and air quotes gets hot. Uh, and I'll follow them around and you know, piggyback their bets, ride their coat tails for a little bit. But that's pretty much and not mostly a sports book guy. What about you? Guess? Yeah, I'm craps in blackjack. If I want to be patient, I always go to craps. But that's because I don't play the traditional way. UM. I don't want to say I fade the table, but I'll play. There's certain spots on the table you can play where

the percentages are awfully low, like four's and tens. So I'll play the no tens and no fours. I don't know if you've ever done that before, if you know what that has been, but that's the Uh, that's the one staple of the game that I will play more often than not. So you bet against the four and the ten. Yeah, so what happens is the payout is extremely low. It's it's one to two. The odds are one to two, so I have to lay fifty dollars to win, and I don't lose money unless someone rolls

a four. But I don't win money unless someone rolls a seven. So if the point is the six and someone rolls a seven, everyone craps out, but I win. But if it's the but if it's the opening role and I'm on a No. Four or No. Ten, someone rolls a seven, everybody in the table wins and then includes me too. But it's very, very slow. Well, we do a tutorial podcast on how to win it, craps. Yeah, we can do that whenever we go back, if we're allowed to. Well, they say Vegas is gonna be opening

up soon. Alright, I think sin will be opened up and find out with the mayor. Al right. Carlos in Houston says, hey, Ben, what's the origin story of Angry Bill? And he's he really into beast reality. Carlos, A great question. I don't know. I don't know Angry Bill in real life He's just a character that calls the show. He lives in Jacksonville's him Nutley, New Jersey. And he really became known in the Mallard Militia a couple of years

back when there were people getting drilled. It was like a shooting gallery at baseball games, and this became a big story, and then they were debating whether to put nets up or not. And I was in the anti net category at that. You know, just pay attention. You're not gonna have had baseball games for a hundred years. It's relatively safe considering all the people that go to

baseball games. It's not like a shooting gallery. And so I did a monologue about that, and Angry Bill, who was just Bill, called up and so what about a nine year old girl? You know that whole thing, And so that led to the legend of Angry Bill, the lunatic that screams in the radio. And he we know, he got busted for bank robbery at one point, so he's got that on his resume. And I don't know

that he actually is into b steality. I don't know many people who are actually into b steality would promote the fact that they're into be stiality. I think that would be something that you just kid about but not actually do. But I'd like to think that he doesn't do it, but I don't so. Uh. Next one from Richard in Texas, Ben, is it possible to have j Moore fill in when you have a night off? Al Right? First of all, I don't take nights off. That's number one.

Number two, JA no longer works at the company, so and he hasn't worked at the company for years. So I'm I'm gonna go x nay on the j r mo A. I think that you just take the last letter and then put at the beginning of the world. That's pig Latin, right, Yeah, so it would be Jay's name would be h y j r MO I think would be his name and pig lab But but no, I like that you like J and I like j J. J. J was nice when he worked at the company. We got along pretty good, and people said we had a

similar style our styles of radio. But I don't know what JA is up to these days. Uh, Checky writes, and he says, Ben, can you please replace gascon or make him be interesting or knowledgeable in future editions of the fifth That's from from Shacky. Well, Shacky, that's a great question. We have been trying to make gas Got interesting or at least knowledgeable, and so far we have failed. We have failed, but we will still fight the good fight, and we we hope you know it's not we haven't

completely given up. We haven't completely given up. I'm just here from my good looks. Is that what it is? I don't know why are you here? I'm not sure. A couple of reasons. I mean, one is uh, I inspired you to do this podcasts last year. I motivated you to this podcast last year. I don't know. You didn't inspire me. What happened was I was working at w e I in Boston. I was I was doing shows. I was double dipping, double doing the w e I thing.

And then what happened to the magic of radio network radio the Ben Maller Show, which was not on a big station of the Boston market. We were actually on a political station on the AM dial that nobody even knew we were on. We got shifted to five, the Sports Hub, which is a blowtorch of a station. Unfortunately, it is a rival, a blood rival of w e I and the Boston Radio wars and so I can't I couldn't still work at w e I, and I wanted to do something in addition to the radio show,

and so that led to the podcast. Well, I like that you're taking credit for the fact that I lost the w e I gig, not that I got fired. I got removed because they couldn't keep me on. I was on a competing station. It's not entirely accurate because we were talking about doing Benny Versus the Penny on a podcast edition only as opposed to on your shell. So, um, yeah, that's a lie. Why would you lie to people like that. I'm not lying at all. There's no lie at all.

There's no lie at all talking about removing Benny versus the Penny so you wouldn't be broken up with the commercial breaks. So now that's that's part of it, but that's not the main driving force behind that's true. Um, moy Is is from den Verses. Hey Ben, as a proud man, what hurts more to you? And gag on a saying paying off a bet or saying sorry, all right, well I've always paid off my bets number one, as you know, a Moyses, I always pay off my bets. When I lose a bet, I pay off. That's when

when you gamble, that's part of gambling. You lose a bet, you gotta pay off the bet. That's how it works, uh, saying sorry? I think in a public setting, I've often done rants about this with public figures. When you apologize, it just is a bad situation, it really is. You know, in in individual one on one deals, then you should absolutely apologize, right, you should absolutely apologize for bad behavior.

Right as an adult, you know, and you're you're taught that that you know your apology, you acknowledge the mistake and you atoned for it and all that stuff. But when you're a public figure, the rules are different. It's a bad idea because the normal rules of social behavior or do not carry over to that particular world. Because when you apologize, then there's seven thousand other people. So you should have done this also, and you should apologize

for this, and it never ends. So I'm gonna go apology. What about you? Guess? I hate paying off bets. I hate losing. You lose a lot, No, I don't. I think the worst bet that I had to pay off was the one that I had with the with the colleague of ours. Brian No, we had bet on the Super Bowl a few years ago, Patriots and Seahawks, and he is an absolute ball washing double fisting of Russell Wilson. He's he loves that guy. And oddly enough, he took

the Patriots to win that Super Bowl. And I said, you know, and I'll take Russell Wilson in the Seattle Seahawks. And you know, we bet like a hundred fifty bucks and I losing that fucking pick in the end zone and it it's burned with me ever since. So probably the worst bet that I had to pay off. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at fox words radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app search f

s R to listen live. All right, Johnny writes, and he says, who's the one person in your industry right now that you would like to baby powder slap? And he says, by the way, mine is gag On, that's the one I would like to for the way he parks, that's from Johnny. Well, that's a great answer, David Gagan, is a fine answer. I think everyone in the business would like to just bitch slap, David Gascon, and I

think that is I always said baby powder slap. I'm sorry, and there's no one be able to get away with that. Though it's different like you could say that like on Twitter or through like an email, like you can get away with it there, you can't get away with it in person, especially the media hacks out here. You'd probably tired halfway putting through the baby patter on your hand little and trying to wind up for a slap. Wow, are you are you done here? Are you well? I'm

still you're still going? Sorry? Yeah, calm down, you know, everything will be okay. I was channeling my inner blind Scott. Yeah. Oh, let's see here. What's next? Answer the question who would you want to who would you want to slap? It's inappropriate if I answer that question. Oh, you're such a soft still working in the business. You're not really working, so you can answer it, you know. Kevin writes, since there is a question for gag on, do you wear leggings?

I do wear leggings exactly. We're leggings when I play hockey, leggings I wear. First of all, I'm considerate because I wear leggings when I play hockey because my leg pads. All right, we don't need the whole song a day you were legs Okay, he has to pads will move all over the place, and where leggings when I trained because I swept like a bastard. All right, lou from the LBC rights and he says, when this pandemic is over, will you be taking a family trip together to Europe?

Uh no, No, I'm gonna go to Europe at some point, but I got to get another job that pays a little more money. Here we go, Here we go, before that happens. So tiny tiny violin on sad you're using again. You're using mine with your A thief in the night is what you are. You're using my trademark material, smallest violin. I've been using that line for years. Bad job by you.

I can't I can't take a trip to Europe because I don't have the job that allows me to work from home save money on gas and haircuts and everything else. But it's fine, Well no, I'm saving money and listen, I but I you know, year, I'm worried. I'm not gonna fit in cars in the hotel. You walk everywhere you're not in cars. Who cares? Get a bus, get a bus pass, get a ticket. I don't know because of the corona, man, I might get cooties from someone

I don't know. Mack, you know, I'm sorry. I was flashing back to like when I'm reading I was seeing on the news. All right. Uh, here's when Darryl in Nevada says, will you now be a Buccaneer fan that Tom Brady and Gronk are in Tampa. Uh, Darryl, No, I'm not gonna be a Bucketeer fan. However, I would love an old school nineteen seventies Buccketeer hat with that orange logo with the the knife the knife in the

mouth there. I love that logo size eight by the way, if you want to send out the Fox Sports radio. But but no, I will not be a buckety fan. But we will talk about the Bucketeers. They will become one of the glamour teams. So Tampa moves up the pecking order of the NFL and they become one of the teams that we're gonna talk about until Brady gets hurt and Gronk gets hurt. But they will move up

the list absolutely. Ja in Scottsville, Kentucky. He's listening to the podcast he writes in he says, if you could only be stuck with one style of music, between rap or death metal, what would you choose death? Yeah, I'm going death metal. Yeah, I'm going death metal. Also give me the death metal. IFEK, that's easy. I don't think that's hard at all. Uh. Bennett forced to abandon the Dodgers for another team, Who would you be choosing? Jay also asked, well, yeah, I like the Red Sox also

from my time doing Boston radio. But I'm a Dodger guy at my heart, and I like the Red Sox a little bit, but mostly the Dodgers. Uh. Let's see truck driver Joe for um. The Pocono's right. So he says, if you had twenty four hours to be in be any kind of animal in the world, what would you be and why? That's a good question. That's a fascinating question by trucker Joe. I like that. These are the kind of questions I would like to get more of

a good job by you, trucker Joe. Um. All right, so I got to I got two choice number one the you know what, the largest animal in the world is guess are you aware of this? The largest living, breathing animal in the world on planet Earth? You know what it is to be a whale? Right? Uh? Yeah, it's a blue whale. The blue whale is the largest animal. Wouldn't it be kind of cool to be swimming free in the ocean and go anyway? I guess. I guess you only have to worry about those nets. But how

don't do they catch blue whales? I don't know, harpoon a blue whale? But these things are massive, right, the blue whale is insanely used to be that animal and to travel around, and then the other one would just be like a lion, right, that would be pretty cool to walk around and have that everyone shipping of pants all the other animals in the animal kingdom, or or a rhino to have that rhinos get any of those big what about you guess? Well, one of them was

gonna be whale. So if it's not a whale, I'd say a shark. How about a colossal squid? Would you like to be a colossal square? If I were to be in the water, to be a shark, But if follows on surface or an air, I'd be a bald eagle. Another one will be alligator. All right, wouldn't you like a gator? A lot of fear factor around gators, at least for humans. Yeah, but you can't carry, you can't cover a lot of ground. Yeah, and you have those

little alligator arms too, like alligator arms murder. Here we go, here we go. Point that out and just take a shot at a harmless, successful rookie quarterback. It's fine, not very good. He fell apart. The league found out his ability at the end of the year. He didn't play well the last five weeks. Look up the numbers. Uh, he was very poor at the last of five weeks or so. All right, Uh, here's another one. Didn't I get the name on this wire? People in the sports

media constantly mixing their metaphors. It's firing not clicking on all sudden ers. So this guy is triggered by metaphors being messed up. Well, yeah, let me let me explain something to you. First of all, you shouldn't care. You're your little anal retentive if you care about this kind of stuff. Secondly, it's just word salad. All these idiots, these blow hards, gas bags like myself, all try to be cute. We all are saying the same thing and we're just trying to say it differently to stand out.

That's essentially what we're all doing, right, We're all saying the same ship all day long. We're just trying to repackage it and put bells and whistles on it. That's essentially what our job is, right. I mean, we don't have a lot of hosts that do listener color Power hours and just check out. You're so jealous, you do not you don't want to share the shine. You don't want to share the shine. You don't want to share the glory, the glory with other people. You're so selfish.

You are so selfish, you schmuck. All right, our friend Tom from Folks and Tom's a funny guy. I like this guy Tom. He's a Charger fan. And I was born in Fullerton. Did you know that, guest gun I was born popped out of my mom's womb at hospital in Fullerton. About that anyway? Uh, this person Tom writes and says best food ever eating at a sporting event. All right, this is easy, and I hate doing it

because it's the hated hegantes. But the first time garlic fries became a thing for me was at a Giant's game and I think that was I might have been even a candlestick. He was either a candlesticker. It was the first week of the new ballpark which they opened up. But I love that. And then I've said this for years, the greatest hot dog I've ever had is the Finway Monster Dog. The Finway Monster Dog is the perfect cot dog.

I remember I was at a cold night. It was a Red Sox Blue Jay's game at Finway, and I was I happen to have access to get around. Family were on the Green Monster and it was a cold night and I had that Monster Dog. My god, was that great greatest hot dog I've ever had? What about you, Gas? What did you have on the monster Dog? Uh, it's not like a mustard and little catchup? Yeah, that's it. You're it's a great hot dog. It's it's Oh, it's amazing. I can't believe it's my list. You can have your

own list. It's my list though, all right, you do you won't even answer. You such a pussy willow. Jason says, I have an interest in listening to a verbal octagon between Justin and Cincinnati and Curly sue Justin Cooper? Who would win? Man, Well, listen, Coop. Now Coop would win, And I'll tell you why because Cooper has the ultimate gatekeeper power and he would just mute Justin and Cincinnati,

So Coop would win. That that's not even close. Uh, let's hear Major Matthew says, reporting live in Miami's listening to the podcast in Miami says home of the metaphysically sports analysis. Uh weed man hippie says, Uh. Question social distancing in the concession stand and bathroom policies are blank? Will the fans stop doing the wave? He wants to know? All right, Now, here's the thing. I think it will definitely be some adjustments. I was reading a story this

week about that. Maybe I'll do a monologue next week about it. Where they're talking about you know, limiting. You know, you come in the arena, you only go to your seat. You can't go anywhere other than your seat, which seems what if somebody has to take a ship? You know, that seems like a problem. Um, and you know, different little things like that. The other thing I think about, when until this gets settled down, if you do allow

fans back. One of the traditions going to a ballgame is you get like a bag of peanuts and then they pass it down the road. I don't think that will be happening anytime soon. I think that will will in that tradition, just as long as they don't get rid of those those peanut vendors though, because some of

those guys have rifle arms. Is that right? Yeah? I mean when you're go to Dodger Stadium, there's like the older guys, like fifty sixty years old that can still chuck it up a couple of rows and get guns. Let me say, and I forget the guy's name, Frank and l I knows. The guy's name was Buddies with a guy that worked at Dodger Stadium and Staples Center.

He passed away last year. Great fucking guy he worked at like he was at like Ebbittsfield in Brooklyn, and he had told me stories that was just wonderful his whole life, like hawking peanuts and nachos and all that stuff. And those guys have great stories to tell from being at the ballpark and stuff, you know, interacting with the fans and all that and I met a guy when I was in Boston. Thats uh. He worked at Finway. He worked at Finway for like forty or fifty years

or something like that. And you know, older guy living out in mccape and with his wife who was a big fan of the show and forced him to listen to the show, and and uh, and he was telling me stories about you know, back in the eighties at Fenway with Conseco and some of the crazy stuff even before that. So it was I love hearing those old stories. Great, all right, you want us to put the baby to bed? Is that what you're you're wanting wanting us to do? Here?

Guess not a want. But I'm getting checked out of my domin here. Good. So there was a positive message, so I don't have to the positive message from Patricia in Vegas, who's a fan girl of yours, so I don't need to read read at least. Well, no, you said we were up against it. It's fine. You can give her my number and email address. Here we go, dirty dog you Yeah, she says, how did you end up with David Gascon as your partner for the podcast?

She's a big fan. I volunteered. No, Well, management just put us together. It was not money because management knows what my name is. Let alone very important to the company. You're essential. That's what you're still going into the studio. You're essential. It's not essential. Matt and Rochester, New York says, Hey, So, if you were granted the ability to be the goat of an obscure sport such as curling, corn hole, et cetera, what sport would you pick? I know what you would pick.

I'm gonna say, let's see. Uh all, yeah, you guess what go ahead. It'd be acts throwing. No, although that would be good. Like that would be that is machiesmo cutting down trees and stuff like that. That's pretty good. I would go major league eating, though it'd be like Joey chestnot. Come on, it's too easy. No, it's not easy. You try to eat seven thousand tacos in ten minutes. You can't do it. No, I'm easy for you, like you ate your entire life. Not anymore, though I've been

I eat like twice during the week. It's not it's not the same man. Back in the old days, I could, I could do it, but yeah, cutting down would would be uh you know those power lumber competitions pretty good. Well, not only those, but you get certain guys that throw those little um they throw the little axes, a little pick axes that they throw a targets now yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty good too. Yeah. All right, listen, that is it.

Thank you, another weekend in the books. Were back on the radio recapping the NFL Draft tonight Sunday night into Monday, depending on when you're listening to this podcast. Two am in the East, eleven pm in the West, and we will have just for guests, we're gonna have a power hour, which I know you're excited about. Follow me on Twitter at Ben Maller, Instagram, Ben Maller on Fox Facebook, Ben Aler a Show. And you can follow Gagon as well. Yeah, at David J. Gascon on Twitter and at Dave Gascon

on Instagram. And that's just J not J A y right, correct, alright, just a letter J. All right. Listen, have a great day, stay healthy, Thanks for downloading the podcast, Tell a friend, word of mouth advertising is huge, and have a great day.