Love Letters

have decided to download the Fifth Hour. We are here for you with extra podcast. We are spending extra time. Quite frankly, we have nothing else to do because of the situation we're in, but why not. We're having some fun here in the podcast factory. And coming up on today's podcast, we're gonna have an extended version of grab Bag. And because of a previous podcast we did not have time to get to Don't Stick to Sports, so we

will have Don't Stick to Sports Stories the weekend. As always, on this edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben maller we are joined by gag On David Gas God really excited about my return it's uh, it's been a long time away. Wait, but it's been an entire day away. It's well, it's different. I know you're not used to engaging with your staff during your money through Friday's show, and I bring a little light to the party. And here I am as vibrant as ever Ben Mallory complaining, grumbling,

and I have not done that once, not yet. I know. I know that deep down your inner bitch session is going to come out over something. It might, but I always save that for rainy day. Yeah. So again, if you're new to the podcast, we're here every Friday, Saturday and Sunday until further notice. The podcast numbers are up, the download numbers are up, which is very encouraging there, and we would like to remind you all we need

is one good minute. So if you've got kids that don't really like this kind of nonsense, just tell them listen for a minute. We're good. Yeah, I don't we should subscribe kids to listen to us. Um, no, no, no, no, no, listen. I learned every dirty word I've ever said in my life in elementary school, in the playground, in elementary school. So yeah, younger than elementary school. Age, probably not, but profanity and youth goes side by side. You learn all

the dirty words when you're a kid. And in the past I've encouraged and this is still a great idea. If you've got grandparents and they've got a smart phone but they don't really know how to use it, you can take their phone, say hey, I gotta set something up for you. Set up the automatic download, subscribe to the podcast. They become a subscriber, and encourage them to just listen. Teach them how to listen for like a minute, just hit the play button. We get credit for that.

Do you ever want your grandparents to listen to what you say on the radio? Well, my grandparents aren't around anymore, but I wouldn't mind. Yeah, I think my old my my grandfather from Springfield, mass Um. He was like a plumber and he was like a blue collar guys. He's the guy that spoke Yiddish when I was growing up, and I learned all the bad words and Yiddish and all that. I think he'd get a kick out of it.

I think he would think it was funny. He would complain about something like you, He would make a fuss over something. But I think he would listen to him. It would be fun. What about your dad? Did your dad listen to the podcast? Now, my dad does not do podcast. He doesn't understand podcast. He doesn't get podcast.

It's over his head. He's he's of the age. And this a lot like there's people that listen to the radio show that if I change affiliates in certain cities and because the network radio, we go on stations and off stations randomly, and if you change stations, they can't find you. They think you're dead. They think that the show's over, the show has been canceled. I'm like, well, no, you can listen on I Heart Radio. There's plenty of streaming ways. You can hear the show live if you

want to listen live. They're like, no, no, it's not on the radio. I'm not listing. My dad's of that age. He doesn't understand technology, and which is odd because he worked around technology, early technology in his younger days. But yeah, that does not does not carry over. So wh why don't we get right into grab back? You want to get right into grab it all right? Grab back? It is These are actual questions by actual listeners, sent in by random people like your self, all right, So here

we go. First once from Jason in Baker's Field, California. And when I would drive through California going to a central or northern California, I would always stop in Baker's Field. There was a restaurant that served poutine and the great poutine, and we would stop there on the way and my wife found it on her phone on YELP and uh and actually a kind of a cool hip part of Bakersfield, So we would stop there and eat poutine. You ever had poutine guests? I have. I actually had it with

with a local broadcaster here. Jim Fox used to play for the l A. King's Foxy Yeah, Foxy Jane. Jim Fox took me to a spot down and Redondo Beach. Oh is that right? But I'm always looking for a good Putine's place where Right now none of the restaurants are open, you can't go to them. But when they're open again, I'd like to find out. I have to go have some poutine. I love. I love that great Canadian dish, one of the great things Canada has provided the world. Yes, it was in It's in Redondo Beach.

It's a spot called Eat at Joe's and I had it there. We were having a conversation and he asked me if I had ever had it before, and I said, no, this is we're talking about working things like that, and um I was a little reluctant at first, but as soon as I started eating it, I was in love. Man, it was hit the spot. That's good. So Jason's question, if you were on death row, what would you choose as your final meal? Oh? Man, I would go with the Bellagio buffet. All you can eat. Come on, man,

I can't do that the last meal. Why not? Then you can just keep eating and you never have to. They can't take it to the electric chair, the gas chamber. You're just like, hey, I'm just gonna keep eating pasta coming my way. It would be some bullshit, high end foo foo crap that you're an elitist. Maybe, But see if you went to the buffet, would you do it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I'm more of a lunch

or dinner guy. Definitely not breakfast. Definitely not breakfast. I would go depends what do they have on the dinner buffet As opposed to lunch. Lunch is more like turkey sandwiches, burgers, that kind of thing. Yeah, they usually are like they have some bullshit steak or like a chicken cutlet um. You know, some soggy vegetables usually are in there, mashed potatoes, corn,

you know. The scam and I learned this years ago on the buffet is they put at the front of the buffet the cheapest foods that fill you up the most, because the goal that they realized that most people are robotic, and they when they go to the buffet, they start at the beginning and they work their way to the end. Were the most expensive foods, the foods that are from like the taj mahal right, the really expensive stuff that

is at the end of the buffet. So if you really want to screw the people that put the buffet out, start at the end of the buffet and eat the desserts and the very expensive, the high end meats at the end of the buffet and then work your way back to the front, because that'll fuck him up. Now, I'm glad you brought up Vegas because if I had a last meal, there's two entrees of it to have. One of them was from Vegas. I had at Wolfgang

Puck as a restaurant. Here we go Mr Aristocrat between the Man of the people, Mr high Rent district himself between the venetian Um and the Palazzo. He has a restaurant called Cut. And my best friend who's a doctor in Dublin, Ireland, when he got into medical well we went there. Not there, but like went to Vegas to celebrate. Um we had Japanese wagu ben for seven ounces. It was a hundred and twenty five dollars, but it was amazing. It was the best piece of steak I've ever eaten

my life. If I had to go like low profile, I would definitely have a California burrito from this spot in Santa in San Diego called Santana's. It was I don't know if you like California burritos, but for those that don't, mine was at the Carnea Soda, French fries, salsa, a little bit more potatoes that are in there. But it was absolutely fucking awesome. I would eat twice in those day. If you want to go restaurant, I would go, like a big box of Tito's tacos. I take one

of those. I take um Langers Deli in l Yeah, Langers is amazing. I love Langers. Need to get to Langers again soon when they REO. I guess they're still around. I can pick up a sandwich and take it to go, but it's a long way to go for a sandwich from where I live. Langer's Pastrami sandwich. I would take that on a kaiser roll or just the regular way that it comes um Tito's Johnny's Pastrami over there on

the west side. Unfortunately, though it's not west of the four or five, it's east of the four five, just east of the four h five. I wouldn't eat there. I wouldn't need it. Tito Tito's is right against the four oh five freeway in Culver City, and if it was on the other side, I wouldn't be able to go there because it's west of the four or five. But it's east of the four or five something A lot. Eating it would suck. If it was west of the four or five. I don't think it would. Actually it would.

It might be marked up a couple more bucks, but it definitely wouldn't suck. No, that's the point of de marcation. Guest on the four oh five food way is the point of d mar cation. Okay, I don't know. It's it's like crossing over into a different dimension in the twilight Zone. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Anyway, so thank you, Jason and I

spent weight. I think we've spent out seven minutes on that, and we didn't give you much. This one is from I Didn't get r J. R J in San Antonio says, who is a caller that has retired from calling the show or passed away that you would want to talk to one more time? And he says, I think I know the answer. Well, yeah, r J. The answer is obviously the greatest caller in the history of talk radio, Genie and med f ory Um. Genie was such a cartoon character. I for years thought I was being punked.

I thought it was a comedian. I originally I thought it was Pete and Pittsburgh doing a parody of uh an angry drunk woman from from Oregon. But it turns out that Genie was a real person and she became one of our favorites on the show, and she would call us up a couple of times a week and regale us with these wild stories and was such an entertaining caller, was such a fun spirit, a genie in Medford. She passed away a couple of years ago, and I

got to talk to her near the end there. She was unfortunately in a hospice situation, so I got to say goodbye to Jennie. She was a big part of our show for years. The other one that I would throw out there, and just off the top of my head, r J is another caller I guess I would say, this is the male version of of Genie, Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay. And you've got to be an old school listener to know Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay. But Jimmy Ray would call me up, and he also sounded

like a cartoon character. He would always call me on his way to the liquor store or either going to get liquor or on the way home from the liquor store. And he had some whiles. This is Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay and and he do the whole thing. And that brings up actually a radio story that I'll have to tell because I One of the other questions coming up is about a he wants to hear an old radio story and actually have a great Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay Radio story. But those are the cause, and

he guess that's for me. You can't answer that you don't like callers. You're an elitist. You think that the callers should not be on the air, that you're better than them. I understanding. I don't use colors as a crutch. I wouldn't recommend that you don't host a caller show. You don't host anything, so it's not that's not the way that it works. I mean, you know, if you can help me out with that, I really appreciate I can. You know, there's a lot for my career and paycheck.

And you know, Tommy, I gotta get some more questions. Your your schmuck. I mean, these people wrote these questions. I gotta get to him. A Tommy from Bedford, Virginia rights in it says, guys, how long will it take you? He started to meet Ben in particular to go to an astro's game once play is resumed. That's from Tommy. But as soon as I'm allowed to know, obviously, I don't live in Houston, and so the Astros have to

be geographically desirable. They play, and they will play in Anaheim once things get back to normal quite often, so I'll be able to go to those games in Anaheim. I might even go to Oakland and see some games. I'm looking forward to be able to leave my house again and travel. But I yeah, I'm once they say it's okay to go, I'm going. I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna go boo and hiss and do all that with the Astros. I look forward to. It's one of

the things I have. It is like looking a kid looking forward to Christmas, me looking forward to bullying the a holes, the strows. It'll be fun. I'm waiting for them. He had come. That's the thing that's gonna be really discouraging is if we don't get Major League Baseball until after July and there's no All Star Game here, I'll be sick to my stomach because Major LEAs Major League Baseball is supposed to have their All Star Game at

Dodger Stadium. So if you're gonna get one, possibly even two or three Astros in the building in that ballpark, like that that would have been beautiful one fun I have been really really cool and unfortunately not going to happen. Not going to happen, unfortunately. But yeah, I'm all all about that there, Tommy, I would go to it. This Uh, this one did not write the name act you know. I think this is from Mark Mark in Nashville. Oh

this is different way. Mark Market Nashville asked where's you all? A favorite place to eat at for everybody? I think we've already talked about that. I like Tito's Tacos in l a U must my tacos spot, uh for crunchy tacos, green goo tacos. They're called in by the locals. And then I like Langer's Deli. That's my favorite spot there.

There's a few other places I like, but as far as chain restaurants, I would say cheesecake factories my favorite team liston Yeah, you paid off your fuck You paid off your week bet to me by getting me a Philly cheese steak which really wasn't a Philly cheese steak at the cheesecake factory. You you could have said, okay, the bets squared up and eating like something else that's better cheesecake factory. But you chose to eat the cheese anyways.

I didn't tell you you could have done something else. I think my favorite place places to go do to eat. Um. I love going to Mastro's. Master is a great steakhouse here in l A or even in Orange County, and the want an Orange counting down in Crystal Cove is also connecting this plaza next to Javiers, which is a Mexican restaurant too. But I'm eating it Naviers. Do you like It's all right? It's a little too expensive Mexican food. Two things about I love about Mexican food. Generally, they

give you big portions of foods and it's cheap. Chavey Ears does not give you big portions of food and it's expensive. But people watch there and there's just a plethora of cougars that are all over the place. Cougars are coming, the cougars coming, and the sugar Daddy is there as well. They'll just post up sixties seventy year old men. You got the jewelry on the jackets, the blazers, and they'll go up to women that are fracturing their age. It is great. You've got the money. The women are.

They're all ears. Un favorite place, low budget. There's a spot two of them actually here in l A called the Loft. It's a Hawaiian rest taurant and it's nothing but like chicken cotsue, chicken karooki, macaroni, salads, some French fries. You get a monster plate for like eight dollars. I used to eat that back in the day when I was little or working out a little bit more. But that's more my speed. You would, all right, who has the worst new NFL uniforms? Atlanta or Tampa Bay. Um,

I'm gonna go with Atlanta. I liked what the Carolina Panthers did this week where they mocked the Falcon's uniforms. And you see that little video they put out it does it looks like the Longest Yard. It looks like Adam Sandler's uniform in the Longest Yard. It's uh, it's pretty funny there they goofed on them like Tampa Bay's uniforms are boring, their lazy. They're the old uniforms they brought back. They went safe. Atlanta didn't do that, but

they look they're dumb. They're that means not a good looking uniform. I don't not I have no interest in. I'm not a Falcon fan or Bucks fan. I've said, and I said this on the show that the Bucketeers. I did a Mallard monologue on the Buccaneers uniforms because that's the world we're in right now. And my position is Tampa Bay should have gone to the Creamsicle. They should have brought back Bucko Bruce. That would have been great. I would have bought a Bucko Bruce hat, would have

worn it. If somebody wants to buy me one for my birthday, I will wear it. I love Bucko Bruce. But yeah, so I don't know why teams don't go retro Tampa Bay with their Creamsicle, the San Diego Chargers with their baby blues. The San Diego Padres are going back to their browns this season whenever it returns. I mean, there's some old school uniforms that really rocked. I just I don't get it. Yeah, well, part of the reason they want to sell new stuff, right and people have

they have the old like that Tampa Bay. How are they going to make much money on the jersey sales because they just had those uniforms five years ago. Most people in their closet have one of those jerseys in their closet. Alright, Moving on, grab bag actual questions from actual listeners submitted to our Facebook page, which is Ben Mallard's show. If you want to submit a question for a future episode of The Fifth Hour, you are more than welcome and encouraged in fact to do that, and

we put that up usually Wednesday. We'll give you a couple of days to put some questions in to the podcast content. Kitty, as some would like to say, Carlos any Houston says, Ben, you talk to any Do you talk to any of the competition from other networks? If so, who? Uh? Well, Carlos, I I do have friends that I've worked with in radio that work at competing networks. I have some friends that work at CBS Radio and ESPN Radio, and occasionally

I will chat. Some of them I don't even know in real life, and I've just become social media friends with some of these people. Um, who's the guy that does the night show at ESPN Who's been there for years at ESPN Radio. I've become I don't know. We We send messages every once in a while back and forth um, of course having a rain lock on his head. Um, But I've come from acquaintances with him. I've several people I know that work at CBS Sports Radio, for example,

So I you know, I don't. I I know a ton of people at NBC. They went out of business, but a bunch of old Fox Sports radio people we're working there. So yeah, I mean I know some of these people. I don't. We're not like talking every day. I have a network of radio people, but there are a lot of local guys that I've known that our buddies that I'll send messages to, will go back and forth and shoot the ship and complain about our situations or what's going on in the business and that kind

of stuff. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Chris and Iowa writes, and he says, if two black holes of equal mass collided, who would win? And why this is for gascon? Gascon? You want to answer that? Um? Blind Scott Wow Uh. Don Juan from Delu rites and he says, would could you guys work at a hospital right now? In this coronavirus pandemic. We now, would I, uh, yeah, I would be open to it.

I would not be like, I can't work there, I'm afraid and all this. If I could help out, I don't know what I could do other than maybe cleaning, which is important. Uh. I'm not really qualified to do anything medical wise. I don't have the training for it. I think I could figure out how to clean and disinfect stuff if I was wearing gloves and a mask and all that. Um, you know, so would I sure? I would? You know? Could I sure? Would? I? I have a job right now probably guess John would not

so he's west of the four oh five. So you would not go into a hospital work right now? Lost gone, that would be below Of course I would. I guess. I got friends that are in medicine. I got friends that are nurses and doctors, friends that are in pharmacy. I would. I mean, that is the war that we're in right now. It's not on the on the front lines of the military of the armed force is. But yeah, I mean in the medical field. Obviously I don't have

any kind of education in that background. But one of my good friends is actually in trauma and he's doing this in Dublin. I think the higher risk, believe it or not, um or the men and women that are are civil servants, says fire or police officers, because they have little to no protection from the coronavirus and they still got jobs to do. I mean, they're taken some procedures, but they're not full like ppees right Like, they don't have the masks, they don't have the gloves on the face,

shields and whatnot. And I see the crap that's going on in New York with officers getting hit, and I think that's I mean that that in itself is a bigger risk. And I think being inside of a hospital right now, well, I could he talk about front Lines. How about I could work at it. I think I could handle the grocery store. We had a lot of guys that listen to the show that are stalking the show grocery stores. I think I can handle that that.

I always said that i'd work at Costco if I could work in radio, it would be my fallback and go to Costco. But I don't even know if I could get a job at Costco now because it's so and that's where that's where the work is. But there's a lot of people already obviously filling those. Yeah, you can work for Amazon. How about that you could transport the groceries. There you go, they can do that, absolutely

correct on that. Al Right, it is grab bag. And who is next year, oh Jack in Greensboro, North Carolinas. Is if the world continues to fall apart and you are finally deemed non essential in sports radio, what is your backup plane? Well, I just said working at Costco. But I'm a hustler, Jack, and uh, I'm I'll do something if whatever, whatever work I can get because my goal is to not end up like that bum in Miami weed man hippie. So i will find a way

to get employment. And I'm not afraid to do something. Well that's below you. I don't really care about that. I just I have bills to pay and whatever will help me reach that destination, I am more than willing to do. I'm very lucky that I have the job I have now, but I know this doesn't last forever, so I would certainly be willing to do something else. And uh, Gascon's got a bigger problem because you would not You were your West of the four oh five.

So you would not go below that. Yeah, I'm gonna different predicament, especially because a lot of my background was in sales, Like I started in sales when I was in college. At you're playing football, and then you know, I got a couple of degrees, and my degrees aren't even in sports and entertainment. Humble brag battors degree from San Diego State and the masters from Northeastern, extra creamy, proud of being an Aztec and a Husky. I think it'd be, you know, it would be a tough transition

for me. Give you a whole Let me give you a gold star here, I men give you a little gold start. Appreciate that a little start background too, if you like at an out of boy, appreciate like that, you know, high five and it was good. How you done? I am? Freddie writes. He says, was that John Hayman on the phone doing your radio show the other day, you know, right after Real Talk brought your entire show down. Yes,

that was a John Hayman segment on the call. Everyone's a fucking critic, all right, Robert Wrights, And he says, to stop the pandemic and open all sports back up, you have to choose three professional athletes to make retire. They have to be an All Star to m v P caliber player, all of them from the NBA, NFL or Major League Baseball. Surely there are three top level players you could do without. All Right, Well, I'm gonna go first, guest, scout, I've got my three. Al Right,

this will end the coronavirus pandemic. These three athletes are gonna have to retire. I've got Jose Altuve, Alex Bregman, and Justin Verlander as my three. Who says no to that? Come on, that's pretty good. It's a good list, right, yeah, Anders say young guy breg Man, Al Touba All Stars are Tobas a former m v P when he cheated to win the MVP Awards. So those are my three guys. Done boom easy, Yeah, I'd be down for Bryce Harper, Aaron Rodgers and Lebron James. I'm right there with you

on Lebron. I think the basketball would be better without Lebron. I think that would be great. Sure, get rid of Lebron. How about Russell Westbrook too? How about no Russell Westbrook. Don't bye bye to Russ. I like Westbrook, Man, You would like him healthy. He's a pit bull man, terrible teammate, just like you. I've got him a great teammate, she asked me. He thinks he's a great teammate too if you ask him. Same thing, same toal. Alright, uh Jesse from Pomona Rights, and he's a big p one in

the Mille militia, he says. With sports now gone for good these days, has this been the hardest you've had to work? All? Right now, Jessie, I get this question a lot, and I guess I'll answer it every week. Um, it's it's different, but I have actually been pleasantly surprised. I figured by a month into this that we would really be on death doorstep, but we am not. I I the way I will say, it's kind of like

the alcohol content, the volume of alcohol. You know how some alcoholic beverages have more alcohol in them than others. Like I feel like normally the alcohol content in sports radio is like a seventy, but now we're at about a twenty. There's still alcohol content, you know, there's still some power there, but not as much. There's not as much variety. I like variety. There's it's harder to find variety right now, Jesse, because of the times we're in.

But there's decent things to talk about. And so I have been, like I said, pleasantly surprised that we have not reached rock bottom. So that's good thing. I just it annoys me now more than ever that list radio has been so prevalent. And hey, I haven't done list radio guests. I know, for taking, I've not done Mount Rushmore. I haven't done that. No, this, none us. So we

have list Radio, the Mount Rushmore. Then we have the stupid uniform height videos that we get now, so people are talking about uniforms, the East sports coming into play with these athletes that are playing video games. Those are the things that we're having conversations about now, which is a little it's a lot annoying. It's not a little annoying, it's a lot annoying. So part of the NFL. But yeah, that's where you comes from. Derek in uh Whiteville, Virginia.

I think that'say. You say, w Y T H E v I L L E Virginia says if you had a professional wrestling name, what would it be. I feel like we've we've had this question before, and Uh, you have a different name this weekend. My name this week will be Baracouda Benny. That will be my wrestling name this week. Bara could have been. Adrian writes in and says, have you ever walked out of a movie? And if so, which one? I feel like I've been asked this over the years, also, Adrian, But um, I have walked out

of a few movies. The one I remember, the last one I walked out of I was with my wife at a movie theater in l A. We walked out of Ted two, the seth McFarland talking Bear movie. The second one we walked out of that. She did not enjoy that film, and we skid out a lout of here to go have dinner. So that was right next to the Italian Place in North Hollywood, not north East Hollywood. Uh, Palermos,

Have you ever been to Palermo? It's great, It's wonderful. Um, I'm surprised, that's how like an old police hang out, Palermos. Surprised you hadn't been there. I'm not in police, so I know. But your family. You figured your dad might have taken your back in the day, you know, Nah kept me away from all that ship. I was just a fucking Italian restaurant dude, who cares. I don't know. Have you ever walked out of a movie? No, I've never walked out of a movie. I don't know why,

and I've watched some bad movies in my time. I was tempted to walk into the last Star Wars movie. Star Wars movies have really really taken a turn down to the no pun intend dark side. Well haven't they just become chick flicks? Now? Yeah? Got the agendas? The exactly got check a box? Check the box. Uh. This is from Dan and Durham, North Carolina, listening to the podcast.

He says, we have to free range urban chickens. Cheryl and and uh Cheryl and Cheryl Cheryl with an asked or Cheryl and Cheryl I guess, I don't know, Cheryl with an S and then Cheryl with a C. One day, Cheryl ate a whole live garden snake. Cheryl was piste that Cheryl didn't share. The question is, are you guys aware that chickens can eat snakes? No, I've never heard of Have you ever heard of that? That was? That was not discussed on supersize too, so I have no

idea that that was possible. I do like that he included free range. That was great. That's a good line by Dan h No. I always thought chickens just eat that ship they put in the chicken coop. You know that's whatever that chicken feed alright? Uh? Fats from Philly. I love this guy. Fats, he says the rumor of eating a bat to start the pandemic. With that being said, the most unusual foods you have experienced? Again, I have him asked some version of Fats. I only eat what

I know and like. I don't leave the reservation with food almost almost never. At this point in my life, I've established I'm, you know, in the middle aged guy. I know what I like, I know what I don't like, and I very rarely go away from my comfort zone when it comes to food. So I'm the wrong person to ask. The right person is the elitist one percent day of a gascon who was eating probably every animal on God's Earth over the years. I would think, no, No,

I've tried squid before. Would you eat a bat? No? You would not eat a bat. Have you eaten spiders? No? Never eaten cockroaches? No? I'm not diverse when it comes to eating all these exotic things that people would classify as he deep fried a cockroach and put on it would taste fine. May would you know if you wrap something in bacon, I'd probably be more reluctant to try it. You'd be you'd be more open or more reluctant, more reluctant,

more reluctant. They just wrapped in bacon just because, like bacon is the end all be all of foods, Like bacon usually makes anything good. But if you have to put it and you have to compliment it with bacon, then that's selling me something else. Huh. Do you know the history of him that we'll have to do a a future show about the history of bacon. No, you do not, No, I we'll have to get I don't have time to do that right now, because that's that's

worthy of its own standard. But right like, bacon always makes things better, and if you need to mask it with bacon, you're in trouble. Well you so you're saying those street hot dogs in l A that are bacon wrap, that are really uncooked hot dogs you should not be eating because the tasting the bacon and you're not tasting the disgusting stuff in there. It's like rat on the streets of Ella. All right. Uh, these are actual questions

by actual listeners. Jim from Minnesota, he says, the Minnesota Mallard Militia checking in said, you shared a funny story about your days with hack Saw. How he said some very inappropriate, something very inappropriate. Didn't realize, Yeah, hacks I used to interview a writer from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel named Mike Hunt and Hacksaw. Would I love Hacksaw. We

should get him on the podcast. But he would rees that and he would say, we're talking with Mike Hunt from and it sounded like he was saying, you know, you know what he sounds like he was saying. And that was very enjoying, very enjoyable for those of us that were the radio station. We're laughing hysterically. And Jim says, I'd like to hear some more ridiculous, awkward, crazy experiences you've had New Year's in radio with people in situations. He says he loved the fifth hour last week with

your friend and guests from the old Clipper days. Well, Jim, I've got one. I mentioned I was gonna tell this earlier. It involves Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay. Uh. This is one of the funniest things. When I write my book, I'm gonna have part of a chapter dedicated to Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay. So, Jimmy was a very eccentric, outgoing, flamboyant caller and outraging alcoholic, and unfortunately that led to

his untimely demise from this planet. But he was a great character on our radio show years ago, and Jimmy had reached out to me. His health was getting worse. He had cancer. He was not in good shape, and so I was keeping him comfort in the last part of his life, and I knew that the end he

was not getting good news on the cancer. It was not going well for him, and so, but we were corresponding, and then finally Jimmy passed away and one of his friends contacted me and said that that Jimmy's wish, one of his final wishes, was that some of his he was had written poetry and he wanted me to read some poetry on the air that he had written, and they were gonna play this at his funeral. Okay, So this was the bit and so I said, okay, you know what, I don't normally do this kind of thing.

It's very awkward for me, but I will do this. I love Jimmy Ray. He was great for the show. He was a great character. So I'm gonna do this. So the guy sends me a poem that Jimmy Ray had written, and he says, all right, tell me when you're gonna do this. I'm gonna make sure I can record it and then I'm gonna I'm gonna play this at the funeral. So I said, okay, I'm gonna do it. You know, the second be block, uh, Saturday Night was doing weekend overnight Saturday and Night when I'm put the

poem in here. So I get on the air and I'm gonna say I have some poetry coming up. You know, I have poetry. I'm so excited about this. So I then and I don't announce because I didn't want to say this is for Jimmy Raise funerals. I didn't announce. So I then read the poetry and it was, you know, it was okay, it was fine. I don't really remember what the poetry was. All I remember is I'm reading the poetry and I'm interrupted before I even finished the

poem from Steve to Seger at the news desk. The Segar then shines in and says, roses are red, violence are blue, and I'm a better poet than you, and and then proceeds to rip Jimmy raised poem poem and oh my god, they're gonna play this at his funeral, your dummy, and and and then the Sager to this day, when I bring this story up to the Sager, I love Steve, but Steve tells me said, well, you didn't

tell me, said down, what are you doing? So I just imagine at this funeral somewhere in the Tampa area that all of Jimmy Ray's drinking buddies from the bar were gathered around the you know, his his tomb and his grave, and they're playing on a little cassette recorder. They're playing this and they hear the saga ripping the ship out of Jimmy Ray's poem. It's just hilarious. That's

a great Steve Disaga story. It was so amazing, you know, And I was just trying to be smooth, you know, guest on, I didn't as I didn't want to announce what I why I was doing I just wanted to do it as a tribute to Jimmy Ray and Saga. Just it's totally ship all over. It was, it was hilarious, it was it was wild. Um anyway, so that's my story.

Jim I'm at from Mansfield, Texas, right, and he says, my wife just started watching Mick Millions, which brings to mind the question outside of the Astros scandal, what's your favorite sports? Scan you want to go for a first guest and what's your favorite sports skin man? Um, do you consider wrestling? Uh? Sports? Yeah? Sure, yeah, alright, I guess I'd go way back. This is in the nineties

when Brett Hart was screwed over by Vince McMahon. UM. I don't know, I forget what it was, but they referred to as the Montreal screw job or Vince McMahon U conspired with UH with a couple of different wrestlers too OUs Brett to hit man Heart because there was a main event that was supposed to be taking place or was taking place in Canada, where Brett Hart is from, and Sean Michaels was his opponent for that match, and there was a point in the match or um, Sean

Michaels performed Brett Hart's finishing move, which is a sharp shooter, and at that point what happened with Sean Michaels was supposed to put him in the sharp shooter and Bret Hart was going to reverse the move, reverse the move and then eat Shawn Michaels with a sharpshooter. That never happened.

McMahon was sitting ringside and he told the official to like ring the bell, and then rang the bell and it screwed Brett Hard out of the belt and he was supposed to be retiring after that, UM, And so obviously he was like, what the funk went on? Obviously, you know, wrestling the stage. But when the match was over, he hawked this giant loogie at Vince McMahon and it was known as the Montreal screw Job. So you can go back and watch that on on YouTube. I forget

what if there a documentary of it? Um? Well, I know that they have stuff on the ww E channel regarding UM regarding that event, So UM, I forget what it was. I don't know if it was WrestleMania or a Summer Slam. Um, yeah, it was. I forget what it was, but it was an event. Oh, Survivor series, that's what was back in Survivor series. So so yeah, that was That was probably my biggest sports controversy. I mean, the up with deflate gate really doesn't get up there.

The Astros is number one, that's yeah, the Astros is great right now. I would say at the time, the Kobe Bryant rape thing was wild. The Tiger Woods mistress story that broke on Thanksgiving. I'll never forget the night I was on the radio because I was working in Thanksgiving weekend and TMZ dropped the bomb on Tiger Woods right and it was what was so crazy? And I did a monologue right away without knowing all the facts. Of course, I did a monologue and legally blind Brett.

I will never forget the phone call from legally Brian Brett. He called up and said, he starts berating me. This is nothing, this is a non story. You're wasting time. It's tabloid crap from TMZ. Don't believe it. You're better than this. You shouldn't be talking about Tiger Woods and the mistress. It's fake, you know, it's like fake's story or whatever. And uh became the biggest story in in the the world entertainment or sports at the time. How

about the Michael Vick dog fighting That was good. That was good. The man taita fake dead girlfriend was a wild story when that came out. I mean, there's been a bunch of them. There's been a bunch of these things over the years, but the Kobe sexual so the astros is number one, but the Kobe sexual assault, want had happened, Michael Vick dog fighting, all these these things over the years has been been Aaron her Aaron her

name isn't the murderer. And when he got arrested for murder, how wild was that an active NFL player, I mean arrested in charge with murder. I think even the blackout in the Super Bowl between the Ravens and was pretty good too. I mean, yeah, we've had a lot of scandals that have popped up. Yeah, you don't forget about you kind of forget about him in the moment you know it's it's time goes on. Nancy care again, that one was good with Tanya Harding. Yes, you got a

hit man out there, Ray Carruth. And now obviously you've got Chris Johnson, how about Ray Lewis the bloody suit the Super Bowl two thousand? Remember that that was that wasn't o? J. Simpson. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live. I mean I have a couple more, a couple more

questions here. Jeff and Clarksville, Indiana, across the Ohio River from Louisville, Kentucky, says, what is the most redneck thing you own or have done? The mallam militia wants to know. Alright, you're a redneck? Yeah, okay, I guess most redneck thing that I have if you want to consider redneck or two things. Um, I have an old school generally like when I was a kid, I love dukes of hazard, So I got the old school car models of that. Um you ever had a truck bed? Jaccuzzy, that's a

redneck thing to do? Put you've never done. I was asked to take some rather um different glamour shots once. Oh much like Oscar dal La Hoya. No, not like that. So I had a dress up as a redneck. So I don't wear this trucker hat and I had to shave part of my beards that looked like I had this handlebar mustache that was fucking awful. I don't wear this like black and gray flannel. I did look like I was from the South. Actually, Like what, I don't

know that i'd have any redneck tendencies? What do you think as anything? You know? What you know about me is anything that's like redneck? I sling shot? Like did you everyone on sling shot as a kid, and like shoot birds or like no, I never shot birds. I did have at one point I played around with a sling shot. But I used to hang out in the orange groves when I grew up in Orange County. There nothing but orange grows around the wood I grew up in.

So we used to run around and throw oranges that we had a big orange fights and stuff like that back in the day. Like I think redneck, I think fishing, I think guns. What else do I think? Trucks? Big trucks. A lot of the people I live around have I tell my wife all the time, I said, where we live, there's people driving around big trucks with like flags in the back. Yeah, I feel like that's kind of a redneck thing to do. That's a stereotype for the redneck. Uh. I see a lot of that in my area. But

I don't think there's anything. I'm just gonna be something. I just I'm not recalling anything right now. Like I've I've never made a redneck raft, you know, where they just like put like a chair on a couple of piece of sticks and they go out in the lake. I've never done that. Yeah, So nothing nothing comes to mind. I guess that's not good. That's not good, all right? Do we have any don't stick to sports. You got a couple of those you want to sneak in here? Guests?

About one here at work? Um, I was in the studio and the studio itself and how it's assembled now for all essential personnel is there's nobody that's in the same studio outside of like with people that are on your show, Roberto and Cooper in the same studio, but where Eddie is at, Eddie is by himself. So I

was in that same spot. A few days ago. One of your producers that we've worked with, Gavin kinsel Um, came in to shoot the ship with me about something that was going on, just playing grab bass or whatever. And my shift at the time was eleven and four o'clock. Um Gavin was done talking, he left, and then an hour hour and a half later, I get off of work and as I'm packing up, Steve de Seger no Brian family comes into the studio and I'm trying to leave.

The only problem is I was looking for my keys and I couldn't find my keys. I had gone from my car to the main studio to the update studio, and that was it. Only three spots in this entire building that I was in. Looked at my bag, looked at my jacket, looked in the studio, looked in the other studio. Nothing, no keys anywhere. Could not find it one bit. So I go to my car. You're going now by the way, I know I'm going. See now. I go to my car to check and see if

the door was unlocked. It was not. But I have keys that are sensory activated, so if you leave, uh, if you leave the car, the door locks automatically. So I was like, okay, there's no way I would have locked my keys in the car, but couldn't find my keys. Anywhere. Then this one on for like an hour and a half to two hours. I could not find my keys, and I was so piste off that I called Triple A, and Triple A came and jimmy my door, got it open.

The alarm obviously goes off, but my keys weren't in the vehicle, and I had no idea where the funk my keys were, So I started asking people if they took my keys as a prank. And this goes on for two hours total in length, and I called Gavin. I'm like, hey, yo, buy any chance do you have my keys? He's like what, I'm like, do you have my car keys? He's like no, why would I have your car keys? I was like, I don't know. I'm just asking. I can't find my keys. I can't fucking

leave and go home. Where the funk are my keys? He calls me back fifteen minutes later and he's like, hey, do you have a Toyota. I'm like, yeah, I have a fucking Toyota. I have your keys. I'll be down there in twenty minutes. That fucker made me a call Triple A in a waste an additional two and a half hours for his as to get here so I can get my fucking keys back. I wanted to be that's great. That's not great. Why is that great? About

his email address right now? So people canna attack him going, I don't have it off the top of my head, but I have a telephone number, so you want now, I don't want to do that. How about this? Residents right now out in Riverside County run the risk man. If they don't wear masks in public, they could face a fine of one thousand dollars. Yeah, this is crazy to me. I feel like we're taking this to levels it does not need to be taken to. Yes, now, I am following the guidelines, um, and I think most

people are. And if other people choose not to, I don't think they deserve a thousand dollar fine. Really, it seems it seems rather absurd to me. It seems like police state ish. Shall we say? Well, it's the world we live in. How about this? Here? In Los Angeles, there's a porn based production company called Vixen Media Group. They announced the option for certain performers to receive two d and fifty thousand dollars worth of production equipment that

includes cameras, toys and lingerie to continue performing. How about that show must go on, Show must go on. These people need to perform. I assuming this is for the women mostly not the dudes, right is maybe I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. That's pretty fascinating. So the world be living right now. You gotta adapt and overcome no pun intended. That's right, exactly. There you go. I love some of these some of the stuff. The uh did you see

the newspaper in Cleveland. This is a great headline the Cleveland Plane Dealer. The newspaper staff was told they can no longer cover Cleveland. The twenty two journalists, unfortunately, we're let go. The remaining fourteen people that work at the newspaper were told they could no longer cover Cleveland, Kyahoga count or the state of Ohio. He said, you're only you're not. Apparently the give you the details on this. There was a statement released that the remaining staff um

they this. According to TV station in Cleveland, the Plain Dealer shared news reporting focus with the members of the news room and they they said, essentially no local journalism because there's five counties in the greater Cleveland area and uh, they're they're told not to cover Cleveland is absolutely fantastic. Yeah, it is. Uh, it would kind of be like running a sports radio. Don't cover sports like they've told us not. Then we can talk about all this stuff. But we're

still a sports radio network, you know. It's it's uh, it's pretty wild man. This baby to bed, Yes, the baby is going to bed, and I hope you have a great day. Will be back the radio Sunday night in the Monday morning, eleven pm in the West on a Sunday night, that's two am in the East. And if you're in a different time zone, figure it out. No colors, right, no colors at all. Well, it's an interactive show, Gascon caller driven. You can interact on social

media Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. L We don't take many calls, dummy. You make it seem like we take a ton of call fewer calls now than I've ever taken before. We take a couple here and there, maybe to an hour or something like that. That's painful. Yeah, six calls in in four hours or or eight calls in four hours. I'm not a fan of it. I'm just I'm just trying to be honest with you. Well, people aren't a fan of you either, and I've I've been how many people have sent me emails said, please

get rid of Guestcon. I can't listen to the podcast. You moving man, Matt and or Mark Rather He's like, hey, are Matt Rather, He's like, hey, you can't. You can't have guest I hate Gascon an idiot anyway? All right, Uh, if you want to reach out, tell a friend about the podcast. If you want to recommend somebody that we can interview, we had Lenny Dike Straw on. We had a friend of mine from Radio League Kleine last week. If you want to recommend somebody for a future episode

of the show, you can certainly do that. You can contact me on Twitter at Ben Maller, Facebook, Ben Mallers Show. On our Instagram page for me is Ben Maller on Fox. We also have a show email that we can give out, which is the Fifth Hour, I believe right, the Fifth Hour at gmail dot com and guest gons on social media also yeah on Twitter at David J. Gascon and Instagram at Dave Gascon. Alright, be safe, stay healthy, and we'll catch you next time.