Loaded Bag

Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air. Everywheares, we are back at it again on the Fifth Hour Podcast, and we are so happy to have you with it, says we

do this eight days a week. It's Sunday Sunday Sunday, a Sunday Funday on the Fifth Hour Podcast with myself, Ben Mallard and West of the four oh five for the second consecutive weekend, David Gascon We rise and we shine with the good Man West of the four oh five. Here I am loud and proud, today, Yeah, with your own count can sound effects? And now you didn't. I'm proud of your baby steps. You didn't. You didn't suck

up to Cowherd in yesterday's podcast. So can you make it to podcasts in a row that brought him up? You brought him up? Well you listen, you at the end a blatant violation with our with our Friday If you didn't hear the Friday podcast we hard old college football talk with Bruce Feldman, the sideline reporter for college football on Fox, and he writes for The Athletic. He's a well known figure in college football. And it was going great. We nailed it. Even the Russian judge gave

us a ten. And then at the end you sullied it by promoting Cowherd's restaurant, or did I Yeah, you did, you did. It's the power of editing that I have control over, so you never know, and maybe it's in there, maybe it's not. Oh just a while, you tried taking torpedo shots at me under the water. I'm I'm up above the clouds. So you you who complain about government over you are you are then manipulating the podcast. I don't even know what's on the podcast. Yeah, I'm big brother.

I am big brother. Now, the goal of this podcast, my goal is to do this with very few edits. My goal is to do it like a radio show, from start to finish, from start to finish, and if it's all chopped up and all that. Like, I had this battle with McBain because he you know, he added a few things out. Oh he did. Yeah, And I don't know, Well, I would just podcasting. We can leave stuff in. But did you say that there was some anti Semitic stuff that was fired in there that you

wanted removed? Uh, well, it was a joke that was made. I'm Jewish. I was not overly offended by the joke. Wasn't like old trope? Right, Yeah, it was like an old trope that was made. But no, I don't. I don't believe any malice was you know. But I guess I'm not as a delicate as some other people, and

so I I don't. I don't really. I mean, there are racist people or anti Semitic people, but I don't get worked up or you know, I don't think the person and we won't even say the person that said it, but the person I do not believe had any any of that animosity in his heart where he like hated you know, Jewish people or whatever. I don't think that's

the case. But if you were listening to that wall on w E E I, the station probably would have been closed down, right, Like there would have been someone that just was open arms. Well, if someone was monitoring it, yeah, people would have been very Uh. There's always the the triggered group of people. Well, the cool thing about the podcast,

which is a it's a blessing and a curse. Like the radio show, there's people that listen that you're just looking for something to listen late at night, and they scan around they find the show, and that's fine. But then on the podcast, I feel like you really have to go out of your way to find it. You know, it's not it's not readily available. You have to like search my name, you have to search the fifth hour

or whatever it might be to find it. So if you're listening to the podcast, I tend to think that you're a a P one or gonna be a P one. Maybe you're a P two or P three, but you're eventually going to turn into a P one anyway, all right, let's get right to the mail bag. We have a lot of questions, a lot of questions. I hope, I hope you have your body armor on because the malle militia. Uh,

let's see that your return was not met with tremendous reviews. Anyway, Rupo from Parts Unknown says, it's been nice listening to the fifth hour again, while he who makes Lebron James seemingly have self esteem issues in comparison to his unbelievable arrogance was away. Unfortunately I could tell he was back just by reading the description of the podcast, Bring Back Ryan, Bring Back McBain, says, Rupo your thoughts. That's interesting. I wonder what title he's referencing too, by the way, Yeah,

I don't know. Well, we had this conversation in a previous podcast about whether to put the guests the big name on the headline of the podcast. My position is yes. Your position is no. No. I mean that's my thought process was that you you give the you give the audience like a description, but it's just a taste. You don't tell him what's in the what's in the box.

But you know you you have brought it to my attention about guests and name specific searches, And I agree, how about how about this if they have name recognition, Like if somebody we had Rob Parker on last week and a lot of Rob Parker fans. If somebody's a Rob Parker fan looking for a little Rob Parker podcast action, if they search his name, and they'd find his podcast, but they wouldn't find our interview. But if you put the name in the headline, then our show comes up

when you search for Rob park Right. And I understand because last Sunday, the title of the of the description of the title and description of the podcast from last Sunday title was cry Babies and the description was more wanting and complaining from the Toothless, So I can understand why someone wants to know that I'm returning. So yeah, So then when somebody searches Toothless, they would find our podcast.

And I did see. I went back and I looked through some of the old podcasts and you had Easter was on there? You had Easter on there, right or so Happy Easter. I think we did an Easter show. I think we did. So then I'm thinking like some religious folks, you know, god fearing people would search for an Easter related podcast and hear us reading email from people, and nine times out of ten it's just pure defecation. Yea, exactly exactly. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's not gonna play

well on the Bible belt. What's true? That's true? Alright, Mark Mark in Ottawa, right, so, and he says, this is for David. Have you ever slept with a woman? And if so, how much did she charge? From Mark in Ottawa? There and you never pay, well, you pay in some way. You always pay some way. Mark. I know you're not familiar with the the other female species, uh in those parts of town. But in the end, you always pay dinner, drinks, it's goods and services. I

think it's yeah, it's all try action on the end. Yeah, it's it's the ebb and flow. It's the yin and the yang of of life. Now, women would argue they also have to pay because they have to hang out with a bunch of ugly dudes. But they gotta put on makeup and do their hair and shave. They all get all dolled up in the process. All right. Pierre in Springfield says, Ben, I know that you get frustrated

when corporate Garcia, Coop and Roberto take days off. You obviously get flummixed when Ned Flanders does his twenty eight minute trending segments at the bottom of the hour, and when Gascon only takes two calls from females over a four hour shift. That's right, I remember that. Are you thrown off when Chris perfect bombards your monologue with various drops? God, he says, Roberto has learned to pick his spots, but it seems like Chris has an itchy trigger finger. Well, Pierre,

that's a great question. First of all, I try to just focus on what I'm trying to convey to you as the listener, and too much it's it's it's there's like a finite amount of podcasting or not, but monologue drops, which are good, but they should be rare and appropriate the monologue drops and oftentimes, uh, they they are not, and it becomes problematic. And Roberto has been pretty good. He'll ring the bell usually that means he agrees with me. If he doesn't ring the bell, he doesn't agree with

my my position. Um, but but yeah, I've Actually it's it's weird thing like I don't mind it because I just keep going you know, I've got some bullet points and I just kind of, you know, throw everything together in my head and put it all together, connect the dots. But I have gotten people over the years that have complained, I loved your show, but the drops. I can't listen

because of the drops. But then there's other people that love the drops and want they want drops, like bringing home Jerome from Kansas City, like he loved, you know, to make the Baba gaos. You know, he screamed that out. That's a drop. He's got a drop. Uh. And so to some of our our big p one fans here for you, it's like this is a big thing. I would think that would be awesome. Like when I growing up, when I listened to radio, I could have my voice

as a drop on a syndicated radio show. That would have been amazing, even a local show, it doesn't matter. It would have been awesome. But it has a very polarizing subject that drops. It really is, at least on monologues because you're trying to talk and get a thought and idea out. But yeah, I just you know, you look at who's doing it, and it's like, all right, it makes sense. We got fats in Philly. Who's next? I love Fats. I gotta hang out with him sometime.

I gotta do it. Fats as a parte, And I'm so glad he found our show, he says Mallard. What other Mala militia personality would be an absolute disaster if I were paired up with them on a weekend in Vegas over under on how many hours before? We would be detained in a holding cell? All right, so let's

see here Fats in Philly. Well, I think you and Regina would be trouble Regina and spend Psycho Regina, because Regina told the story she somehow is out at a at like a bar, and she ended up at on a party bus for a bachelor party, which can only imagine what happened on the on the on the party bus. So that and then also Fats, like there's some of our guys, like I've met Blair in Maine, and Blair is a great guy. But you can lead Blair down the garden path. So whatever Fats does, Blair will do also,

which could be dangerous. I'm trying to think who else would be Marcel in Brooklyn? Can you imagine Marcel? Oh? Doc Mike All. So Doc Mike right. You know you go out with Doc. Doc's eating a salad, drinking some piss and then Fats is eating a cheese steak in one hand. You know, he's got a plate of a deep fried calamari in the other and he's just going for and then lighting himself on fire. Yeah, lighting himself on fire, pulling his pains down, showing his free willie,

his anaconda. Well, it's not really an anticon. It's more like a baby snake. But to everyone, to everyone name so anyway kid, because I care. Jason from Rocky Mount, Virginia writes it, Jason hooked me up with a Salem Red Sox hat, which he's in my rotation. In my rotation, he says, any more coyotes sightings at the Halfway House? And do you think you will see any in your new Mallard mansion in a few weeks. Well, first of all, I've not seen a coyote since the attack. Bella is

doing great. She's getting her stitches out soon, she'll be She's completely back to over. It's one of the most amazing things. Bella was on My dog Bellow was on her deathbed. We thought we were gonna lose her. And even when we took her back after the operation, for a couple of days no movement. She was a lifeless creature. And within three or four days she was back hopping up and down and doing her things. So it's it's

crazy how quick that turned around. And it's great. And as far as the other place, this county is everywhere. Now where I'm living at the halfway House is closer to them, to the mountains, so that's why there's more coyotes. I've also noticed a little life hack. The day you have to be most concerned about coyotes is trash Day.

The trash the counties don't have a calendar app on their on their iPhone, but they know they are aware of when trash day is and they they come out looking for food when it's trash day because they oh, there's it's like the grocery store. They can get all kinds of food. Um. Anyway, So that's that's the coyote story. Carlos in Bang Bang Houston, Texas rights and he says, Ben, you're a smart guy. Well that's a great email. Carlos, thank you for writing that email. We appreciate it. Uh,

and that's that you didn't need to add anymore. But there's always more. He says, maybe you can answer this one for me. Why do the owners cry to these politicians to pony up money for a new stadium? Aren't they rich enough to buy a new one? And so that's the first question. He has a second question, Well, yeah, of course these billionaires could own a stadium, and they could finance the stadium, and they could raise the ticket prices to get people to pay the stadium, pay for

the stadium. But there's a term. It's corporate welfare. Is the is the term, right? And if you're rich enough and powerful enough, you can pay for lobbyists who will then buy off politicians and give you all kinds of tax breaks, legal loopholes, and it's it's one of the great con games because owning a sports team it is a public trust, right, That's what people Most people look at sports teams as part of the community. It's past that you you're a steward for the team, but you

don't own the team. Forever you're gonna die, someone else is gonna own the team. You don't really own it, right, you're just looking after it for the next generation that follows, and it's a communal thing that you know, I my my parents are passed away. They went to Dodger games. I go to Dodger games. You know, the next generation after me we'll go to Dodger games. And so it's that kind of thing. Um. But they know they do it because they can. They know they can get free money.

Why would you turn down free money. The problem is with the politicians giving the free money away. That's the issue there. But to ask for it, it's the same boiler plate. It's it's paint by numbers, it's you gotta you go to the politicians, try to make a deal. They say no, right, they say no. So then you go public and threaten to relocate, saying you don't have enough money for the stadium. Uh, saying you can't do it, and you can't raise the ticket prices. Uh. And you

you play the same game. And then the Oakland A's are doing it right now. Right, The A's want a new stadium. They've been trying for years and it's never good enough. Right the you know, the Bay Area politics is a mess. But they did put some things forward to give them some of what they wanted to build

the taj Mahal Stadium. Wasn't good enough. Right, These owners want the Candelabra like Liberachi had right anyway, want everything and uh and so they have to threaten to move to Vegas or Portland, Oregon or wherever until they get what they want. And they know the other thing they know is that if they can't get the tax break, the sweetheart deal where they want, there's always some other local municipality that will be opening up their wallets and

handing out money. So that's my my take on that, Carlos. And he also says, you you say you're a sucker for minor league hats, will you wear one of the Strows minor league affilly? Well, as long as there is no reference to the Astros, I see why I would have I wouldn't have a problem with that. My my problem is with the Astros. These minor league teams are I believe, independently owned most part. Yeah, so i I've got the minor league system here for the s s Rows.

They have a team. One of their affiliates is called the Fayetteville Woodpeckers. I loved Woody Woodpecker when I was a kid. Are you gonna say, can you say pecker? Is that allowed? I don't know. I don't know, all right? Uh. And and they have a team called the sugar Land Skeeters. I'd love that because one of our callers from Montana is Skeeter in Montana. What's the team color? Uh? Let me see here. Let me click on the the logo, but let me see. I guess see what kind of

hats there? And I normally try to wear hats that have an M or a B on them. The colors are yellow like it looks like I guess the Skeeter is a B and then it's blue. So let me go to the team. See here's Skeeters hat. We're doing this live. You listen to our live coverage. Yes, we're looking at a MLB show. You know what, I've noticed a lot of these minor league teams I can't get. I cannot get hats in my size because they don't there's a shortage of the production chain is not right. Um,

like the size eight. A lot of these websites don't have size eight, which is my my size. Uh. Yeah, Like they have a hat here with a B on it. I'd wear that. That's a good looking hat. I'd even wear the one with the Texas silhouette on it, but I wouldn't wear the one the s l I don't think I would wear. I think I would wear that the skeeter lend. I don't think I would do that one.

Um anyway, that's thank you for the question. Carlos Vols fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee says, if you had a lifetime supply of the last thing you bought, what would it be for you? And Mr insubordination? All right, So the last thing I bought was a voice processor, which I have yet I've yet to install. My voice processor has been dying, and so I ponied up the money. Actually bought a voice processor before. It didn't work and

so I had to return it. And this is a so voice proces So I'd be rich in voice processors, which only works if you have a radio show to do. Otherwise it is a rather completely useless piece of equipment. Uh, gascon, what's the last thing about? I'm happy to report the last thing I bought was gasoline. You'd be rich in gasoline, my man. Man, I'd be like one of those hoarders that bottle those and masks early on the pandemic and then just started, you know, snaking people for him and

selling him for a massive profit. I've been doing that with gasoline, toilet paper, and you can do that also hand sanitizer. It did not take long. It did not take long for a mash shortage of toilet paper, hand

sanitizer and all that stuff. Which imagine if something eventually, eventually, something else is going to happen, and the same it's that flight fight or flight reference that human beings have animalistic and you know it's gonna something will happen again, right, Yeah, man, it happened here in l A with ammunition like you couldn't buy. You still can't buy nine millimeter bullet Like as soon as these stores get them, they're sold out and they put a cap on how many rounds you

can buy per day. And the prices have really doubled on ammunition. It's crazy how much I've never bought ammunition. I don't know how how much does uh? If I want to get a box, how much like a box of bullets? Yeah, so for nine millimeter you have to buy them in fifties. So I bought um like a week ago, I bought a hundred rounds for nine millimeter

hollow point. It was eighty eight dollars. Probably two years ago or a year ago, it was like closer to sixty five sixty six, and you're capped at it, so you can only you're only allowed to buy two hundred rounds per day, alright, So you buy two hundred a day at the end of the week, you got a fair amount. If there's if they're still an inventory like they don't. They don't stock a lot of nine millimeter

for that specific reason. So first blue as the state is, I think it's closer to purple than just great blue. We got a lot of people out of rock and firearms, and there there are pockets. One of the reasons people were talking about breaking up California, Like in Fresno, Baker's Field, that's that's that's like Republican country. Yeah, right, it's it. It's l a San Francisco proper and obviously San Diego where it's more. But even San Diego, like Orange Counties,

it's shifted a little bit since I lived there. It's still more like Huntington's Beach. That area is more Republican. San Diego. I think there's a lot of When I lived and I worked in San Diego, I thought there was a lot of people more conservative in San Diego because the military town Camp Pendleton and all that. So did you see San Francisco is applying the same mandates that New York is now to to their indoor and

outdoor facilities. I did not. Yeah, so they're they're making it a requirement to be COVID vaccinated and show proof, which is amazing because now it's harder to go into a restaurant in San Francisco than it is to go into a Rite Aid and just steal a hundred dollars worth of of supplies in medicine. It's amazing. Wow. There you go, Well, when are you moving to San Francisco but that place, and yeah, you're not. You're not moving there. So I'm not going to San Francisco, New York City

or Chicago anytime soon. Yeah. Right. Should be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio ap again and the people making the decision that they often don't even follow their own rules, which is a whole different different things. So anyway, all right,

what is next year? Page down? Page down? These are actual emails from Actually, did you get anything from Tammy or Rock Sane or no? No, no one, none, no no. We did get a message from just Josh's wife, Nicole, A lovely lady, she's she said, My question is about your fast thing. Oh, welcome in now, she says, I don't remember you ever talking about the eating part of it. How many hours do you eat before you start your

next fast? If it's several hours, do you eat big meals or just get as much in as you can in the allotted hours? All right, so Nicole, thank you for the question. Now let me preface this with a disclaimer. You should never take dietary advice from a radio guy podcaster. What do I know, I'm an idiot. But with that said, here's here's what I do. So my move on this is I during the week, I only eat one meal and I try to eat in one hour within one hour, So like I will, I'll give you an example this

past week. I ate Sunday, I had lunch. I finished eating at about two o'clock because we went to a flea market, which I should have talked about that on the other podcast, but I forgot, uh so we we ended up going eating. It ended at two o'clock and then I ate again on I think it was four o'clock on Tuesday, and then I ate a big meal and I had like, I had a snack within I ate a meal, waited about fifteen twenty minutes and then they like a little bit of a snack, and then

I started at five o'clock I started fasting again. So but on the weekends, I will I will eat. I have a longer window to eat on the weekends because otherwise I think my wife would divorce me. So um. So, you know, it was eating was a big part of the socializing and all. That's a big part of eating. And so I'll normally eat lunch, and you know, I give myself about six hours or so I'll eat lunch

and then later on I'll have have dinner. So four or five six hours something like that enough time where the food can settle in and then you can be ready to eat another meal. So that's the the deal on that. Uh Matt from La Mesa, California says, what's up, fellas? First off, f al Tube says, Ben, you probably won't read this on the air, but it's good to have gas Can back. It's a breath of fresh air. That'll be edited out of the podcast. He says, Ryan sounded

like an a one wokester. His take on taxes had me screaming in my car. Ryan's not a Wokester's not woke. No. I I liked run. I had a good time working with it, right. I mean, Ryan's probably a little uh you know, separate from me politically, but Ryan's an introvert and I got along with him great. I can run a lot. He's a good guy, which is funny. What the funk? It's weird. He's like your size, he's like six five six six, and yeah, he's just he's a

massive introverts pretty funny. Yeah, look good for him. It's a proper way to live life. He says. When you guys retire, what's the first thing you guys are going to do? I'm I'm not really planning on retiring. I don't know, And you know, it's one of those things the quote God laughs at you when you're making plans

about retiring. It would be nice if I had enough money to not have to have the grind every day and maybe just do a once a week podcast or something like that, or do a weekend show or that would be kind of cool as I wind down. But as long as they'll have me. And I got plenty of bills to pay, and I got even more bills now after I'm moving to the new house. So yeah,

I think I would. I think I would track down I'm a pilot and let him know I'm purchasing a first class ticket on his next flight out to Europe. I've not heard from I'm a pilot. I believe you chased him away. He has not emailed me, he has not contacted in any way. He would send these long emails giving us great travel logs. I was living my travel life through him. Yeah, but I'm not. He's got from family, he's got kids, maybe there's certain school, and

he's got other priorities. Right now, listen, we are his audio family. We are I'm a Pilot's audio family. Yeah, but he knows we're stable. We're here, We're not going anywhere the family, and you've got all kinds of things going on right now, I don't know. Nothing lasts forever, Alan from Ohio. Right then, he says, assuming that the cast of the Ben Mallor Show is fully vaccinated, why are you still broadcasting from home? He said, the question when you are not in question. Well, this is the

part where he loses me. He says, when you are not in studio, it seems like the chemistry of the show is just a bit off. Love the show from Alan, business in the show sucked for two years. Yeah, for the last two years, I have been broadcasting from my home studio and uh, spoiler alert, Alan, guess what when I'm in the studio, I can't see Coop and I can't see Eddie. The only one I can see is Roberto. So it's not like this affects the chemistry of the

show at all. That's one of the reasons, you know. I had a conversation with the management about this, and it's like, this show is perfect to do because from home for me a convenience. But but be it does not affect the quality in any way. Uh, it does not affect the quite other than the line occasionally going out, and that's obviously in a perfect world that would not happen.

But the company and and radio companies decided to get rid of the hard I SDN line, which was a solid broadcast line which very rarely went down, and instead we use a different setup to connect and it's it's a less reliable set up, um, and it's been pretty reliable, but you know, we have usually once a month there'll be some kind of bump in the road and all that. Plus you have plus you you produce your own content. And on top of that, the same update is played

every thirty minutes pretty much, uh, pretty pretty much. So yeah, which is frustrating because I when I did that, I would try to change it up and put new and always search for news story. But you know, yeah, what are you gonna do? I'm not, I'm not. It's not my decision. Uh, Dan from Stoughton is that it s t O U g H t O N. Where's that? I think it's in? Uh, I want to say, hold on the same. I think it's in Massachusetts. But I'm just pulling that out of my ass. Let me see here,

Oh it's in Wisconsin. Bad job by me, at least according to the Internet, it's in there might be one. And see here's the thing, there's probably like much of city's name stut but Hollywood's in Florida, hollywoods in California. According to this, Stoughton is a city in Dane County, Wisconsin. It straddles the Yahara River about twenty miles southeast of

the state capital of Madison. Population is uh thirteen thousand, sixty the population and so it's it's kind of the southern part Wisconsin, not too far from the the Illinois border. And see anybody famous come out of this town, anybody that would impress. A lot of Wisconsin state representatives have come out of there. Uh, Nobel Prize Laureate. That doesn't really do much for us. Any athletic people, entertainers. Gail Gillingham, Green Bay Packers Hall of Famer. I don't know who

that is. Graham Elwood, a comedian. I've never heard of that. Jerry Fry, head coach of the Oregon Ducks football team, NFL assistant coach. Uh yeah, a lot of political people, not a lot. Not a lot of people I've heard of here, unfortunately. Okay. Uh. My theory is that every town has at least one famous person that's come out of there that I would know. But this town would be the exception of the rule. Anyway, Dan says, when

will blind Scott be suspended for conduct detrimental to the show? Um? Well, listen, blind Scott likes to stir it up. He's a rock. Uh you know, he he throws crap against the fan. Um. But I I would argue that blind Scott he hasn't risen quite to that level. He likes tacking shots at Eddie and Roberto. That's his new thing here. But he thinks he's he's He said he was doing a parody of Chris of Chris Cromo's brother, the former governor of New York there, Andrew Cuomo. So he was doing his

his thing. Richard in Edawah, Tennessee, says, hey ben and deuced canoe Gagon. I was in the army for eight years to deployments. That's a long I was wondering if any one of you guys or in your families served in the military. Uh. Yes, I have one of my my uncle, uncle Harvey, who passed away a couple of years ago. He was in in the military. He was drafted during Vietnam and he served in the military, and I think on my my wife's side, there's there's some. And then when I was a kid, I had at

a family reunion. We had a relative who lived in Israel and was like a general in the Israeli Air Force, and he he came, I remember as a child and spoke. But not not a big military family. I mean there's been a few, but not many. What about you. Yeah, both of my both of my grandfather's were drafted. In fact, my grandfather and my mom's side, he fought in the Korean War. He was he was an army pilot. So after that war was over, he migrated from Boston to

uh to sunny southern California. And then I grew up in through college. I had a bunch of buddies like my buddy Greg and Kevin and Ryan there they were Navy brats, so they were in the Navy for quite a while and then they got out, but they were they called San Diego home for a bit. See. I got a lot of people at least close close to me that that's served to you military and some kind of capacity. In fact, I have a I have a nephew that might be going to the Air Force Academy

in Rhode Island. But he's actually contemplating right now because he's a kid and really smart talented. But if they require service officers to get vaccinated, he doesn't know if he's gonna do it because he's been reading a lot of stuff about pilots being grounded after they got the COVID nineteen vaccination. So he doesn't know if he's gonna do it. So it's unfortunate, but yeah, thanks for your service. All right, now, let's see what else do we have

your page down? Page down? Eric and Omaha, Nebraska. Right, So he says, bad job by you? Is that a malor original? Or did you pick that up from someone else? I have found myself using it very often in my everyday vocabulary, so much so that my girlfriend and kids say it. Now, Uh, that's your kids saying that to you, bad job by you? Yeah, that's funny. Uh No, that's not that's not a Mallard original. I I don't remember

when I started saying that. I mean, there's a there's a number of people that that that have said that over the years. I uh, I don't remember who I you know who who had said that? Obviously I heard it somewhere and then I just kind of stuck with me and I started using it and repeating it and whatnot. Uh Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't know where I found that from. I would give credit to the

person if there was one in particular person. People said, some people say Chris Russo from Mike and the Mad Dog. But I didn't listen to Mike and the Mad Dog, So I don't. I don't. It wasn't him. It was somebody else that uh that that said along the way, and it was years ago. I've been saying that since for twenty years. I've probably been saying that. So m I don't. I don't remember specifically, Uh where where I got that from? Uh? This is uh let's see here.

I'm glad your family says it. That's that's nice. Uh this is barbed from Massachusetts. She says, when is COVID going to be over? Laughing my ass off. Yeah, Uh, COVID will never be over bar because it's gonna be here forever and just people are gonna have to learn to deal with it. And until people learn to deal with it, and it's not. We've got to get to the point where it's not news when somebody gets COVID.

It's only news when they get COVID and they have a bad illness, you know, because I've had I talked to one of old friends, Eric, who's an old Fox Sports radio guy, who's a radio programmer, and he said he had the COVID and he was telling me, you know, he was very mild and and all that, and but for that, I don't I don't think we need to stop the world for that. It's if you know people that have the bad reactions to it, then it's becomes Newsworth or like, yeah, any kind of adverse effects from

from getting any kind of treatment to from it. Uh. Fred in Spring, Texas says, did you guys ever have a job offer you turned down and later regretted it? Now? I can't say that, Fred. I can't tell you that. I've had several jobs that I thought I was getting that at the last minute, at the eleventh hour, I didn't get And I often wonder what my life would be like if I had gotten one of those jobs I was. I was back in oh nine when the

Tiger Wood scandal broke. I was in talks with TMZ to run when they were gonna launch t MZ Sports, and I had gotten a phone call that I was gonna be hired and that that they were gonna call me again the next day with the details. And uh, I'm still waiting for that phone call. Uh. And then uh I did. Also when I got let go from Fox Sports Radio, I was brought into ESPN. Uh. They flew me into Bristol and I met with executives at ESPN for three days and they were gonna they were

gonna hire me. And then they first time in that at that point, first time since ESPN launched they had ever had layoffs. And it happened to be the week that I was there in Bristol, Connecticut, and so they said, we can't hire you because we're you know, the company is now laying off people. So I've had bad time. What about you, guys? Yeah, you really That West Virginia gig would have been great. The China job would have been wonderful. You could have gone to China, you would

have ran, you know, the Chinese government would have been great. Well, I haven't had anything like that that's been in the sports world. More so, like when I was in banking. But yeah, no, nothing in the sports world that I can I can say. It's been a constant fucking hustle. So not there yet. Not there yet, my mayam, you gotta do the hustle. Mall Man, all right, let's keep going here. Who do we have leave from the Valley of the Sun. He says, Hello, Ben? Did he spell

his name right? And I will say hello to gag On since he is always thinking about me. I can't spell cat. Hey, Hey, Lee, I got a question for you. Lee. I know you can't answer it, but you sent out a photo was your your daughter's birthday and beautiful young lady and you said my favorite daughter. Does that mean she's your only daughter? Because because who's is she also your least favorite daughter? I mean, how does that work? I don't know. I have no idea anyway, He says,

I've heard you use a Mama Luke. Here's another question about the mallar lingo that I use Mama luke. Can you tell me how that started and what what that means? Well, yes, yes, the term Mama Luke is a homage. It is a tribute too. Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull and it is a slang term of I guess Italian origins, right. It means loser or a bum. You're a mama luke. And when I say that, it's another way of you know, insulting you. And I could say you're you're a big dummy or

an idiot, or I can call yeah MoMA luke. Um. You know. So that that's that's all. That is just another way to call someone a loser. Another word, which I don't use enough is ragamuffin. That's a good word. It's a solid word. Um. There's a there's a bunch of those. I know. Tony Bruno uses strapper. You're a strapper, which is like a South Philly slang term which means loser. Toolbag is another one that's pretty good. I like shmendrick. I use that one a lot. Loggerhead um. So yeah,

that's that's an example there. So thank you Lee Mike from Venice. Right, so, and he says, Ben, if you can't travel anywhere in the world, where would it be And do you like going to the beach? I do like going to the beach, although I like having a tent so I'm not completely exposed to the sun. But I absolutely love going to the beach. I have not been able to go much this summer at all because of my my living situation, but I love it. And I don't do radio in New Zealand anymore. That gig ended.

But I would love to go to New Zealand, uh and and check that out. And my wife is dying to take me to Europe and travel around Europe, so I have to get there at some point. And she's got her famili's in Italy, uh so I'd like to to go check out. It'll have a great things about Italy. Like to check that out. And I have family in Israel. I don't know that I want to go to the Middle East, but I don't know. Maybe some day down the line. Who knows. Man, it's gonna be tough for you.

If if she does convince you to go to Italy and you guys do go during the summer, I don't know, man, I don't know if you can handle it. The heat is just awful. It's it's like palm desert and Florida mixed into one, as hot and humid as shit. Yeah, you'll be sweating balls. Yeah, I'm sure that, sure, I would. I mean, I've been. I've been in the South, I've been in hell, New York in the summer and all man, how holy crap with all those trash cans and everything

else in the streets just building up. Oh my god. Every year the Dodgers would go to play the Mets. It's ironic because this weekend the Dodgers are playing the Mets in New York. It was always it was always the early August. Usually the US Open was going on at Arthur Ashe Stadium, the newly name, relatively newly named. It wasn't called that when I was going there, and uh yeah, the smells, stench, just disgusting. Yeah, my wife hated that about it. She's very sensitive to smells and

just this disguss. But now everyone wears masks. I guess Jesus Chris and Marracoca to Iowa says, what is the secret to happiness? Yes's go not trying to look for happiness. Yeah, I just live your just live your life. Just you know, just hang out with people that love you, people that like you. Have friends, uh, you know, have have something that keeps you busy and and feels you. It gives

you a sense of accomplishment. I think human beings need to do something that gives them a sense of accomplishment, whatever that might be, whether it's a job or playing video games or whatever. And not putting pineapple on your pizza. That's it? Wow? All right? Uh next one, Ben and Gascon. Good to hear the west of the four or five guy back in the guest Gascon and Ben said it much better than Ryan and Ben. I believe Ben is coming up with his one year anniversary. I don't know

who sent this. By the way, I didn't get a name on this. Uh one year anniversary since his crime scene incident at the park restroom. How does it feel, Ben, any thoughts on the memories? Uh? Well, I have actually relocated. I do not live near that bathroom, so I have moved away from the scene of the crime. So I am no longer I am no longer there. I'm glad that you remember though the the anniversary. I do not remember the niversity. Oh, I think this is our friend

from from Denver. I believe this is Adrian from from Denver. I believe I think this is him. So anyway, he says, um and I asked about memories. I have no memories. He says. My family and I were at the Adams County Fair in Colorado on Friday, and I was repping the show again with the Mallard T shirt. You know it's my it's summertime when you have a lemonade in one hand and a turkey leg in the other. What

are your guy's favorite fair foods? I love the fair is tremendous, and I love the corn dog, the size of the forearm, which is wonderful, and sampling some of the different deep fried foods that they have, but I usually get the same foods I get elsewhere, like the big Philly cheese steak, and everything's oversized and deep fried and and just wonderful. Yeah, like I get sometimes I've had the fried donut holes. Those are good. Yeah yeah. The giant pretzels are always my favorite, though beer yeah

those are. You gotta get that cheese to dip it in though, that's oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, all right, Thank you, Adrian, and I'm glad you had a good time. Though there's a story I cannot tell. Adrian had a very bad experience with a car rental company in California that has terrible customer service. But I don't. He doesn't want me to talk about that, so I would. Man if he gives me the green light, I will, I will bring up his store. But I unfortunately he asked

for my help and I don't. I don't. I was not able to help him, so I wish I could. And I didn't even bother asking you because you're west of the four oh five. Anyway. This is from Helen and Stu in Palmetto Bay, Florida. All the Diaper Wears says grocery shopping. I heard over the store speaker the theme song for cops playing. I immediately thought of David Gascon. Yeah, Helen, thinking about the family. What's up, Helen. A few clicks show that Chief Gascon was wait for it, Ben, chief

of media relations. It's not a real cop, Helen says. Political appointee Helen his world class dipshit, A political appoint team from the current sheriff at the time. Could you imagine being that stupid like Andy giving Barney a gun and one bullet to keep in the uniform. Let me tell let me tell you something, Helen. He was more successful what he did professionally in thirty two years than you ever have been in your decrepit life. All right, come down, let me just tell you that, Helen, what

a fucking idiot. All right, we liked your dad. Come down. Uh, the email continues, A long time, no right, spent July four in a few weeks, nan Tucket with our our daughter, her husband, and our perfect nine month old grandson, Bentley with Stu and I already secretly, uh we secretly called Ben. So oh yeah, Bentley, you can call. That's yeah, great, Jesus, that's a tremendous way. I love them more, uh, she says.

Then back to New York and now back to Florida, where a as fully vaccinated people we hope not to die because of the worst governor in the US, Ron Ron de Santis. There, dotorry, Andrew Cuomo is perfectly pristine and clean. Don't worry about that, Ellen, there's quite a race for the worst governor title. The young lady in Michigan could chime in, and she could certainly join the

conversation that now, don't worry. She could. She's lucky, though, I mean, the alternative to having the Santis was um gosh, I forget his name. The other candidate that was passed out after being hammered and with a male prostitute. I forget his name. Was that the CNN contributor? Is that the one that was on CNN? Maybe I don't know. I don't know more Helen speed, I guess it sounds

like anyway, Helen says, fear not. The Ben Mallor Show and the Fifth Hour are in the air wherever stew and I go, Well, thank you Jesus, I appreciate that. And hey, listen, those downloads count Gascon. You can rip Helen and stew All they want, but those downloads count. I know. Just the first sixties seconds is all I need from Helen before our two part questions some brief housekeeping, our best and dear to Bella. Our best and dear Bella assumed that Gascon was the most predatory wolf on

the planet. Uh thought by the time, by this time, gas Con would have been permanently gas gone. She thought Gascon's alleged illness, we know it was not exhaustion. According to Helen, more about this next week, but just for the Gascon potty mouth record, I am sixty two, she says, and Stu is sixty one with a black belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu, and we're something. Gascon will never become self made wealthy. How about that, guest? You see that good for them? It's good for you guys, all right.

I don't know how much you take of that to the grave, all right. The but these these guys, let me tell you, Helen and Stu, I wonder if they're like investigators because the wait till you hear the next part of the email here, Uh, this gets personal, Ben, Did you know that Gascon isn't even the best athlete

or accomplished sibling in his own family. His sister, Sarah is a world class athlete, team captain of the U S national women's handball team and has played all over the world, including the Pan American Games and as a college volleyball and softball star. Elected into her college Sports Hall of Fame. She also plays professionally with Team Rogue I guess and has real endorsement deals, and she has a PhD from Auburn, making her doctor. Sarah Gascon obviously

the work harder Gene missed her underachieving brother David. Uh the felt right, Swatts, you know that's the luxture that I have is that people can can look us up since we're semi public figures some capacity. But you know what, you always have to be careful because when you start, you know, lifting up the hood of other cars, those owners don't always like it. There's always retaliation that comes along the way. Oh okay, so I'll just I'll just

leave it at that. UM. I would always recommend people to tread lightly when you try to uh, you know, you try to look under those those hoods a little threatening here those Yeah, it could be alright. Two part questions. Don't worry Stu is a black belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu. I'm very worried about that. All right, Ben and Gascon? Uh he said? She says Ben Gascon has been burying the True Family lead. Will you interview Sarah? If she does well? Will you replace Gascon with her? It looks

like she's done some major media commentary. How great would that be? There you go, and that is from Helen and Stu. And then she says, did she just play in the Tokyo Olympics? And I don't think they made the Olympics, right, they didn't qualified. But there you go. Your favorite couple from Palmetto Bay Florida gascon big fans. I don't know anything about Stu. Well you just learned he's sixty two, our sixty one and uh and black

belt in Brazilian jujitsus not enough? Not enough self made millionaires? Is that what she said? Her self made wealthy? Yeah? I don't know how they made their money, but good for them. I'm happy they made money. I want to I want to be a self made millionaire. That would be nice, would be I want to live their life. I when I'm in my sixties, I want to be Helen and Stu. They're living the life that I want to live. Right, You spend some time you live in Florida,

nice place to get a nice place. They're probably a golf course, because everyone lives on a golf course in Florida. Uh, you know, travel to New York, you know, hang out with the relatives, have a great time. It sounds like a wonderful life to me. It sounds like a wife will live. Yeah, you guys have to be in Tampa though, Like you don't? Yeah? You, you and the mists can't be anywhere near fucking Miami. What's wrong? I've been to Miami? What's wrong? With Miami, just saying your wife would be

a firecracker in Miami. I think she'd have a really good time. Oh like the South Beach, Yes, I think your wife would have a really good time. I think you'd be Are you saying I'm more up to like the Panhandle? I can handle that more. I think it's just more your speed. I think it's just Jacksonville, like Jacksonville,

now Tampa Bay. I think I Tampa Bay. Alright, alright, Jennifer from Richmond, Virginia writes in She says, Hi, Ben, I just arrived after a short two hour drive to see in concert uh Stain and the headlining group Corn. What are your favorite songs from both those groups? Well? Uh, stay right, that's the nineties man, right? Uh? I think that song that got played a ton back in the day. It's been a while, wasn't that? Was that their biggest song? I don't know. I'm bad with I don't have the

music gene. I like music, but I don't have the music gene. Oh what about Corn? Any Corn song Freak on a Leash or something like that. I don't. I can't. I'm not good with names of songs either. I'm bad at this, Jennifer, Sorry, I wish I could I could help you out. I don't out. It's one of those things. It's like porn. I'll know what when I see it. I'll know it when I hear it. You know. The thing that annoys my wife is I just when I listen to music, I love the rhythm. You know, I

don't really listen to the lyrics. My wife listens to the lyrics, and so if they have songs have dumb lyrics, she'll get you know, she'll get upset, like, well, why are you listening as a lyrics are stupid? I'm like, why, I like to the beat to it. It's gonna get a little beat to it. Yeah, all right, we'll do a couple more. A lot of email this week. The email bag filled up. Kevin in Kansas says all is right in the world, David is back in the sideshair,

and your show crew is spot on. Football is right around the corner, and a baseball races are heating up. What would either of you like to add to the stew? That is a good life. I'd like to have like an extra day off a week, That's what I would the half a little more downtime would be good, just one day, not more than one day. I got like a day and a half right now of downtime. So that's about it. Anything gask On you want to add like a full schedule, that'd be that'd be good. Yeah, yea,

some things you can do to get that here. Cliff from Nashville says Ben. I am not feeling the love for our Tennessee Titans. I have hope that you will be surprised this season. Oh Cliff, we do not spend a lot of time talking Titan football, that is true. But if there is a scandal, we will talk about. So don't don't mind that. And I am still not a believer. I am a skeptic oe of little faith that Ryan Tannehill will will be anything more than a decoy when the playoffs come around. It's very hard to

win that way. It's very hard to win with a decoy. You can get to a certain point where there have been teams that have gone to the Super Bowl with a decoy type quarterback. Jared Goff with the Rams comes to mind, Rex Grossman. But the only one that one was manning, and that was the Broncos, who had a ridiculous defense Tennessee. I do expect their defense to be better. Um, but I'm just not got Julio Jones, you got Derrick Henry,

got some guys. Yeah, And unfortunately for yeehaw in West Valley, a city of Utah, we do not have time for your email and all the other fine folks that send email in. Uh. You've got to put the put the baby to bed, as they say. And I will be back now. I've got an interesting schedule this week, and because you're a podcast listener, I'm gonna let you know first. So I will be back in the chair, the big chair, as Mark Patrick used to say our whole morning guy

at Fox Sports Radio a million years ago. But I'll be back in the big chair, uh, tonight Sunday night into Monday, eleven pm in the West on the Pacific time zone, and where's that nine pm in Hawaii two am on Monday morning in the East. And I'll be in tonight. But then I'm moving. But I'll be back at the end of the week. So it's a weird.

It's the worst possible time to take off. You're supposed to book end your time off with the weekend, so elongated, but my wife's working on the weekends and she couldn't get time off to move, so the only time we could move was during the week And but I will be back to to do the the podcasting and whatnot for next week, so we'll have new podcast, original podcast

next weekend. But then this is the last podcast that will come out of the studio and in the next podcast will be a brand new studio and I'm excited about that, looking forward to it. Some little bitch about in your new studio for some the nine reasons, so looking to the of course they will complain, and uh always have. I've been working with the I Heart engineering department to try to get the line putty into the studio, so there's been a lot of emails back and forth

to get all that done. So of course this assumes that that line will be put in and that set equipment will work in the new studio, so we'll see how that goes. But looking forward to that. Anyway, I have a great rest of your Sunday. Thank you for supporting the podcast. Tell a friend, Sharing is caring, Sharing is caring. Uh, so help us out and we'll catch you then. Thank you