Instant Karma

Ben Maller starts right now. That it does. I hope you're having a wonderful day today as we have another addition of the Fifth Hour to try to treat your boredom from social distancing and the stay at home order which is all over the place, and the despair that many people are experiencing right now. But we'll help you kill a little bit of time right now with this edition of the Fifth Hour, because four hours not enough.

A reminder if you have not yet listened to a previous episode with Lenny Distra, I recommend that you do that even before you listen to this of the podcast. But if you've already heard that, you might want to go back and play it again. It's amazing, fascinating, uh and captivating the great Lenny Dikester. But as far as this edition of the Fifth Hour, we will have an extended grab bag lot of listener questions, and we will we will have some fun with that. And here to annoy,

irritate and exasperate you is David Gascott. Yet again, Who's with me side by side to frustrate the hell out of my life? Do it? I can ben, especially nowadays, since we are so far apart, now that you have your happy confine set up for a an upper class, first class radio studio inside of your hallowed halls to the Mallard mansion. So well, I am practicing social distancing, and with you, of course, I love practicing social distance, the next thing, as far away from you as possible.

I seem like guesscan I said this jokingly, but I really feel more like Rush Limbaugh or Steve Harvey or Sean hann that I am now on their level. I am doing the shows from my house. I'm wearing my pajamas, just doing the show. So I feel like I've finally arrived in the radio business. It only took me. I don't want to say how long, twenty five years or whatever is, but I finally arrived. Finally have I arrived

in the radio world. Hallelujah? That might be the case too, because I earlier this week I connected you with someone that has very close ties to Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaughs so and Steve Harvey's. So I think that this is all coming full circle in large part because of me full credit for this. And uh, I know you're a pessimist by by heart, and so I do everything that I can to put you up on that golden, golden pedestal and trying to push my buttons here. I

try to do that every so often. But how are you coping though? Because exercise nutrition? Are you still on a level playing field with weight wise in your sanity? You know, I really missed the gym. I didn't realize I had missed it. I always thought, well, now I have the ultimate excuse not to go to the gym, But it's it was such a big part of my routine, and it's just not the same. I'm walking around aimlessly around the streets of my neighborhood and different parts of it.

I live kind of near three different cities, and I just kind of walked through all three cities and and it's I feel like just uh and I just like wandering aimlessly. I don't even know where I'm going, and and just kind of walking out and trying to get a certain number of steps every day, and all that I missed that I'm still keeping the diet um so I'm I'm eating every other day during the week and skipping a day here and there, and so I feel

like I'm I'm pretty good at that. My goal I said this a while back, but if you're new to the podcast, my goal is to go three hundred and sixty five days at least fasting with the minimum threshold. On the weekends, I fast for usually seventeen or eighteen hours, but during the week I'll skip a couple of days, and you know, I try to go minimum twenty three hours during the week between meals. So that's worked out.

And by the way, Gas, there was a message I got the other day on Twitter from a guy who started the Intermitute fasting and this dude's lost seven teen pounds. Paul is the guy's name, and he actually tweeted out his stats from an app that he's using, and he thanked us, well mainly me probably, but he thanked us for helping him lose weight. So congratulations to Paul, good job. By you this year, he's already lost seventeen pounds and here we are, we're in the third month of the

year in March. So that's a good job. Good numbers. Forty days streaked, that he's on the fasting and as long as fast was thirty two hours, that's that's pretty phenomenal. It's good job by Paul. Yeah, what are your numbers? You wanna you want to do your numbers? It's not good. No, you want to do your numbers. I admit, man, I I haven't gone in the gym. I went running last week on the board walk down in the beach, and

my legs are still sore. And I was doing some I was doing some exercises earlier this week and I think I strained my right groin. So like, I'm just not doing well right now and not eating as good as they normally do. The fasting does help, but I need the gym more than ever right now. I couldn't believe it. I went to a couple of sporting good stores and it costs thirty dollars for one dumb bell. Thirty dollars for one fucking dumbell. You gotta go to Walmart.

They got the cheapest equipment, but even that's going to set you back some money. I told you with the wife, we were we were thinking about maybe even getting I used to have a treadmill. I I was busting her balls and I said, you know, we used had a treadmill. We still have a treadmill. I wouldn't have to worry about it work out at home. And so she's like, well, which was by well, buy you know, buy some fugazy

thing you know, put in the house. I'm so and yeah, maybe if this goes long enough, I guess at some point there's the cut off where if you don't go to the gym for a certain number of days, you got to get something like I don't know what should I get guests on, though like I would I would think I was a big treadmill guy, but I like the elliptical machines are pretty cool. That stuff breaks so much, though,

that's my concern. I think for you, and I don't know if you'd want to do this, but I think the perfect exercise equipment for you would be the TRX. It was it was invented I believe by a Navy seal in a submarine and it basically looks like two giant ropes, but they're not ropes. But you can latch it onto anything that you want, either high or low. You use it for for pulling and for pushing. Um. You can always use it to plank. You can also use it to squat or do lunges. It's a it's

an all purpose type of apparatus. UM. I would definitely recommend looking to a t r X. You haven't. Those can't be that expensive because they're just ropes. It's not a rope, it's it's like a long cord. UM. I don't know how. I'm looking it up. T r X system at Walmart, two bucks. That's worth it. Yeah, I definitely recommend it. Yeah, because you're, like I said, you

can do anything on it. Push ups, you can plank, you can do pull ups, UM, you can do um kind of back raises, shoulder raises, like the whole nine yards. It's a it's an all purpose workout for you. Are you doing push ups by the way and that stuff like push ups and of course not, I'm not doing any of that stuff now, we of course not. Why not, I'm not. I'm walking al That's the greatest exercise. Is a nice walk, so I'm doing it, but I have

to figure that out anyway, we got grabbed back. These are actual questions in our new hybrid podcast where we we give you a podcast is every day of the week The Mother Show five days a week. One day you get too podcasts including our Lenny Dikes Tree extravaganz uh and now we have other podcasts for you on the weekend as well. Grab back. These are actual questions by actual listeners. The first one comes from Brian in Northbridge, Massachusetts. He says, man, how can we keep David gascon and

quarantine and even further away from a microphone? Well, I think that's a great idea. I just I mean, I gotta have more nights with his girlfriend. That's all come down, cowboy money rubbing off on you. Maybe you go buy some Infeta mean exactly on line one. Yeah, alright, Fats from Philadelphia Rights and I love this guy, Fats. This guy's good dude. Man, he sent me a bunch of pretzels down uh, he says Ben, growing up, who is your favorite WWF wrestler And did you ever see them

wrestle live? Mine was King Kong Bundy. I saw him when I was in fifth grade at a local event, I got in trouble for tearing a woman sign up for Mr Wonderful Paul. She put me in a headlock and security game. That's right. Uh this this guy fats as a character. Well facts. I loved wrestling probably around I'm probably around your age. I was a big fan of the Hulk, Hogan Andre, the Giant Battles, and I

did see um. I was also such a nerd. I loved Mean Gene Oakerland, the the guy that did the interviews and the promos for the w w F and h I I've told the story I've got I got fat eating w w F branded ice cream bars and different food that they debuted back in the in the

nineteen eighties. But I went to the Anaheim Convention Center, this Don't Be Arena and just down the road from Disneyland, and they had an event there and I went with my brother and my mom dropped us off and it was a big deal, you know, leave the kids at the wrestling event, and we hung out after waiting for

the wrestlers to walk out. And I remember seeing Mean Gene wearing He wore a jumpsuit like an athletic jumpsuit after he you know, he wasn't in his tuxedo and uh saw like the back of Andre the Giant, and I have great memories. Uh Hulk Hogan was at that thing, so that was fun. And then later on this is really cool, when I was doing a radio promotion and I was a celebrity manager for a w WF event. One of the coolest things I've ever been able to.

They picked us up in a limo and they took his although it was at a minor league baseball stadium in the in the Inland Empire, and it was awesome. We we went out and it was the bet I was doing the Ben and Dave Show and Dave Smith was the manager of the other guys. I was the manager of the Headshrinkers. But my favorite part was in the locker room hanging out with the wrestlers before because we were one of the last events. And I believe

he passed away a couple years ago. But George the Animals steal the legendary George the Animal Steel, the guy guest Scott, he's the guy that used to eat the side, yeah the ring, and he was in there and we were I was hanging in the same goddamn locker room with the George the Animal Steel, a guy I grew up watching wrestling. How cool is that? And uh and also another guy that passed away, Viscera, I think that was his name. Remember, he was the the huge black

guy that had like he wore UM. He had contact lenses to make his eyes look correct. You know, he was like eight I don't know, maybe not eight hundred pounds, but he was at least six seven. He's huge. Um. And the funny thing about that guy is he was in the match before us and he broke the ring. He jumped off the ropes and uh, he fell down and he broke the ring and so everything got delaid and then he came back in the locker room. I can still close my eyes and see this. It's one

of the funniest things I've ever experienced. And it sucks. The guy passed away a couple years ago, but he came in there fully decked out, and he had the he had the eyes with the contact lenses to make him look like Lucifer, and he had the body paint on and he's got his head down and the other wrestlers are like busting his balls and he's like, oh, I'm sorry, guys, I didn't mean to do it. It was haw to google him because I didn't recognize that name. But now I see that it was Big Daddy V.

Like he had his name Coup. Yeah, he had a couple of different names, um, but at that time he was known I think his Viscera or something like that, Visra Mabel, Big Daddy V. He was the King of the Ring tournament champ in really good dude that Those are the two memories I have for that. But I love wrestling me in those days, man, you know, because

we didn't have a lot of entertainment. You know, we didn't have a lot going on, and it was like big you know, the promos And remember begging my mom to let me go to a wrestling event and he's, oh, let's just watch it on TV. You do you remember when Rick Martell, Rick the Model Martell sprayed his arrogance perfume in the eyes of Jake the Snake and made him blind. I do remember, yes, yes, yes, I always

loved when Jake the Snake Roberts would wrestle. I love they would have it was the director of the events were great because they they'd pain over and they'd have the shot of the bag with the snake. Yeah, Damien, Yeah, Damien. It was so funny because it was like, oh boy, what's that snake is gonna get out of the bag? You know it was it was pretty funny. Yeah, you know what. And in those days, obviously the the neck breaker was always Queen Elizabeth ms Elizabeth for Macho Man,

but those guys had great finishing moves. Macho Man off the top row, Million Dollar Dream with ted d Bias, Ultimate Warrior, obviously Hogan and his weak ask leg Drop, but everyone else I did see once in Las Vegas, I actually walked by the same exact day. I don't know what the odds of this would be, but I walked by Jaws and Andre the Giant. I don't know if you remember Jaws, but he was in Golden and not Golden he was in Moonraker and James Bond movies. So he was in Moon Raker and one other James

Bond movie. But those guys were absolute beasts. And obviously the Andre the Giant you know, passed away at his age, but those guys. Did you see the documentary on Andre that I did was awesome, And a lot of those stories are complete bullshit. They just made him up about Andre the Giant, and people believed it. People blot him. They're like they I I couldn't believe that all that

stuff was bullshit. I thought that was real, that he drank all those beers on a flight and all that stuff, and all the different stories that were told, but great memories. Thank you Fats for that. Douglas from Vermont writes and he says, guys, if you had to get a piercing, where would it be? Where would you get it? And you can't choose your ear? All right? So I'll go first, your guest gunt now, uh, all right, I'm gonna I wanna say the least painful spot I would think would

be like your nose. I think so I would go nose, although it would look really odd. I'm not talking about the middle part. I'm talking about the top part. You know. It's like women sometimes get their nose pierced on the side, like that kind of thing. Guy would do that because I think that would be like, I don't think would hurt very much. What about you guess when you go for the below the belt piercing help you out a little bit down there? Yeah, you want me to get

my ball bag, Pierst. This really is the Letty dextra. It's a good influence, I guess so. I mean I've seen Piersons all over the place, but like you mentioned the nose, but even the top, like in between your two eyebrows, um on the cheeks, on the dimples. Oh no, that looked painful. I don't know a lot of those. Look just see I have a butcher. What about it if I got my butt chin Pierst, like got the clef your butt? Yeah, the butcher and the butche of the clef. Um m, yeah, I get it. You probably

do it all right. Gary from British Columbia rights and he says, been when you give game show horrors introductions, when you have them introduced themselves, could you please add for the people of Blazak, alberta b A l z a K and dildo Newfoundland or Newfoundland. Um, that's from Gary in British Columbia. Yeah, ball Zac, Yeah, like ballsack. I guess that's the that's the joke. They're sure, Gary. Why no, I don't think I can do dildo because I have the management gets offended by that word. They

don't like that word. But ball Zach Alberta, that's a good name. Yeah, you want you want some bad news, Ben? What's the bad news I got? I got a company email about about contributions from for a certain company that I work for. You might know them too, But they are temporarily suspending employee contributions to your four oh one K Really yes, wow, how about that? Wait? Wait you got this is a company email? You get? That's a company email I had just received really a few moments ago. Yeah,

I did not know that. Unfortunately, we're in a we're in a new unique spot too, because you know, we obviously commute to and from word to our houses and uh, you know, for the radio side of things. You you were on the radio during the nine eleven attacks, Yes, I was. I was on September eleven. I did show, did updates that day? Did the company do anything for you at the time, like change scheduling or not permit

you to go anywhere else? You gotta stay locked indoors and on the radio for eight nine hours or what? Um no? I had. I was doing a shift in the early afternoon. I think it was like a noon

to five or something like that. It was. It was all wonky back then, and it was we had the studios at the Fox lot in West l A there, and I I remember, I just did, as I recall, I did the show, the updates, and then my mom was freaking out because my brother lives in New York and at the time my sister in law was pregnant and that whole thing. And then, um, so I remember that. And I remember driving by L A X and not a single flight. Uh, drove on the four oh five by L A X and there was not a single

plane in the sky that just blew me away. But I don't remember them forcing me to stay there. I don't think that happened. Yeah, why are you being forced to stay? No, no, not at all. It just uh people you see people tweeting out on social media that they're getting pulled over by cops and issued citations for being out. And yeah, we're part of the unique branch where we've been issued um company and and federal permission slips, if you will, about being able to commute to and

from work for obviously business purposes. So yeah, in fact, I have the I have the letter right here. It's on my desk here from Uh it's a kind of form letter from the Department of Homeland Security. Yes, and uh, this goes all the way through the end of May. And it's apparently I had no idea. It's the Communications Act of nineteen thirty four. But that is why we are allowed to continue. And I love the fact that sports radio is a critical situation. So we could flip

to news if we needed to. Yeah, I mean we could. And that's what we did in September eleven that we became a news outfit. We talked about the news. It was what else are you gonna talk about? Everyone can talk about what's going on. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Um, all right, let's keep going with the questions. Uh, let's see here. You can't read that,

Scott from Milwaukee. Act I already read that. I can't read it already? Did? Scott from Milwaukee says? Question for Ben, if you had to be in self quarantine with the following three, who would you choose? Weed man, hippie, angry Bill or Mark the full name guy, Mark Baby you. You don't understand the kind of emails I'm getting from Mark the full name guy. They're good. No, no, this guy. He goes from I'm never listening to you again, I hate you, and then I'll write back thank you, don't

ever listen again. And then then he gets all upset and sends me seven different emails, and he's out of control. He's absolutely out of control. Uh, here's what I'll read one. I want me to read one of the emails here, which is just a random email he sent me. Uh, this is nine hours ago from when we're recording the podcast. Uh, this is from Mark the full name guy. He says, I know the theme song to the original mission impossible. Perhaps I will torment those sad sacks that call themselves

a militia. Your next mission, band Mallard, should be you decide to accept it concerns the whereabouts of one baby Mama possibly being held hostage by a popcorn pimp who may have possession of her cell phone. The flute then plays, should you or any of your operatives be captured or killed? Drums come in with piano. That's just a random email that he sent. What time of the day was that written at or sent? Uh? These are usually sent like at four or five in the morning. How about this one?

Here's another one for this One's entitled this is marked the full name. Guy emails this is from uh. What's mark? He sent this at four oh two in the morning. He lives in Medford, Oregon. Now it's headline conspiracy theory. Marked the full name guy writes, we may very well be at war with Iran, just saying I have a January New York Times copy in my pad, and there was a little chatter about a drone killing some general

and a Ukraine jet shot down soon following. And I told you I stood in a market in the hood tenderloin. Yasser Era Fat himself sat in a corner on a plastic crate silently. There are sleeper cells everywhere. Be careful, so mark the full name. Yeah, I would not hang out with him. I can't hang out with weed Man because he hasn't taken a shower since nine, so I can't do the weed man thing. So I guess I'd have to hang out with angry Bill. But he'd probably

kill me because I'm Jewish. And he's a racist, and I send might so I'd be in trouble. Where is he at? Is he in Florida? Yeah, he's from Nutley, New Jersey, but he lives in uh He lives in Jacksonville in that area. I know everyone's history. I know it's crazy. I know weed Man was of course from New York and was a Wall Street titan, lost everything when the stock market crash, and then became homeless and moved to Miami. I know that Mark the full name.

Guys originally from Brooklyn, grew up in New York, moved to San Francisco, it was homeless for a while, got back on his feet, moved to Medford, Oregon. And I know they're like the whole history, it's crazy. I need to get a life. Yeah, I mean, I know more about these people than I do like people in my family or to my cousins. It's a lot about yourself. So and actually says more about my cousins because they've distanced themselves from me. Many of the cousins I grew

up with they live. I got a cousin in Florida. I got a couple in Florida, I got one in uh in Scotland right now. I got one in New York, actually a couple in New York, ones in Houston. I got people all over the country, but I don't really talk to him anymore. Out of sight, out of mind, Yeah, something like that. You're not a great communicator anyways, press on,

fuck you? All right, here we go. This is from a new in Owensboro, Kentucky says, where did the rumor of your net worth of four million dollars come from? And what could you do today to make that a reality? All right? That's from a new Um. Well, I knew I could get a TV show that would be a start, and uh, you know, we're efforting that. But if that ever happens, that would be that would the help close the gap. I gotta pay off my kitchen first. But I knew it started on the internet, um and it.

People would just type in Ben Maller and then net worth to Google or whatever search engine you have, and then they do a calculation of what so and so's net worth is. I just love the fact that I am on these websites that are like celebrity trending websites, which is so I'm not even a celebrity it's so stupid,

so dumb that they include me in these things. But for example, I'm I just I just did it right now, guesscon And I clicked on Uh, let's say I clicked on trending celebs is the website, and it says, according to trend Celebrities now dot com, famous radio host Ben Mallor's net worth is one million to five million dollars, it says, uh, And then they quote another website says Mallard's net worth is six million. So I'm actually worth six million. Now, yeah, you know, I'm a great. I

know how to cook. My my wife told me you don't know how to cook, and she need to teach you how to cook. I'm a master chef, I said. I said, I don't know how to bake, or I don't bake. Some better at baking. Let me tell you why, because baking cooking you have a little liberty and you can be more liberal. Baking you gotta get the exact amount of fucking sugar and salt. And if you don't get the exact amall, I'm out it tastes like shit. So you gotta be perfect. I love that. I'm very meticulous.

I don't know if you know that. She she sent me some some food porn the other day, which was some vegan cookies, you know, dallast in some chocolate. It looked fantastic and I didn't recognize it at first, so I thought she was making those, and I asked her to share, and she's like, why don't you bake him? And I'm like, I don't fucking bake. I've been baked. But obviously you're in quarantine right now and you're still having trouble with pizza. So I'm a master chef. I

cooked the pizza. I take the dough, I put the the tomato sauce on. I got the pizza cheese, I got that at the turkey pepperoni, a little bell pepper, a little onion. Mixed that altogether. It is marvelous, sounds absolutely marvelous. Is great. One footnote to a news question, though, is the reason that weed Man turned heel, went from a pretty boy to a heel is because he got upset that I had. He thinks I'm worth like five

million dollars and I'm not giving him any money. He has no idea that I am underwater and I'm in a bad spot financially, and I I upgraded my kitchen before this all happened with the coronavirus. So God only knows what's gonna happen going forward. But you know what you need to do to turn this thing around is you need to do a lot more networking, a lot more communicating. You need to do. You need a lot of fire under your ass. I'm here to help, of

course you are, alright, Jeff, Jeff and was Cohnson. I think his last name is Gascon? He says, why does Gascon get so much hatred? A real talent? Yes, that's must be your Is that your cousin? And Wisconsin checking? How many cousins in Wisconsin? West Maister, California, Florida? Dan and kalamazoo right in this that's the question, why are you just dismissing him? Wasn't a question, It was more of a state. No, it was a question. It's kind

of you should answer his question. That's what you should do. Well. The reason Gascon has disliked on the show is because people have heard him and he's annoying and he's aggravating, and he gets on your nerves and you're bothered by the Mallam Militia. You don't like the fact that I liked the Mallam Militia more than you, and you're agitated

by that. It's not true, and so you you try to hit my buttons, and you treat this like an inconvenience, like this whole podcast thing is inconvenience and all that not at all. And you had the liberty of staying at home and doing this. And I don't seventy four miles just to do this for you and to get violent out. No, thank you. I got a huge cross on my shoulder. People would love to do a dopey little podcast with me? No, I mean, I can't think of any but I'm sure there's some people out there

that we love. How about this? They go through the rundown coop. No Eddie, no Roberto, no. See. None of those guys will do it because I don't get paid for this, and they won't do it unless they get paid, and which is probably the wise thing, you know, that's the wise thing to do. But I'm like, I have diarrhea of the mouth, I get the flowing tongue going on, so why not? Speaking of which, I did reach out to Terry and we talked about possibly in a few days having him on from the UK. So we're gonna

make that happen. Hey, listen, we we have to do more podcast now because people are looking for things to distract them and I'm open to do that. Uh. We we had Lenny on a previous episode. Our first interview was Lenny Dixter. I don't know how you can top that, but if you want to recommend somebody, I know that Justin Paige Patient zero are Ruby Gobert, Justin and Cincinnati who has the coronavirus and is still smoking cigarettes, which all doctors tell you do, but Justin he wants to

have he recommended sid Rosenberg. You're familiar with sid Rosenberg? How's he doing? New York talk show host? Used to be at w F and now he's at w a BC. How he's a Vale Militia guy. Sid Rosenberg's and Malle Militia. He used to I used to be his lead in when he did a morning show in Miami, and so we'll have him on. We still gotta get Tony Bruno, Kenny Albert, Okay, we'll do one with Kenny Albert, Chris Myers.

We can put Chris Cristal do it. We can do that. Look, you're just gonna beg for a job, which is really kind of coming. It's kind of the idea, right, I didn't ask Lenny Dixter for a job. That's a little bit different, and he's got no pills to sell you at now. See the problem is you're just you're an opportunist. Guest. Are we all get this podcast like a challenge? Like you said, who can we get on that will advance

my career? I mean everyone does what's in their best interests I mean, is that but I'm not trying to advance my career. If I was trying to mask my career, I would have quit doing this instead of pay me or I'm not doing it, but I'm still doing it right. Well, No, it's actually a part of your contract and its specifically states that. So it's a little bit of an amendment that you failed to recognize. But that's that's good. I mean, we're here. Be sure to catch live editions of The

Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. All right, Jason and Bakersfield rights in. Uh, he says, in your opinion, what is something everyone looks stupid doing well, I'll go first. I'll say dancing. I think everyone looks dumb dancing. Some people look kind of hot if they're good looking people, but they look dumb in general. If you take if you turn the music off, they look just stupid. So I'm gonna go dancing. Gas. I'm gonna say exercising people

that are running. People run awkwardly when they run, Some wattle, some flap their hands, some are like breathing too heavy. I say running people right now, Dan and Kalamazoo says, yeah, have you got any good hobo or crackhead stories? Well, Dan, just listen to the Overnight show. It's one hobo and one crackhead after another they call up. So right, yeah, what more do you need? Those are my people, Those

are my peeps. Uh, let's see Eric and Omaha rights and he says, what song would you play over and over again to torture gag on? All right? I got this, Eric, You know the most repetitive song I can recall recently. It was a few years ago. Rihanna she had a song called Birthday Cake. Remember that song? She repeated the fucking lyric cake over a hundred times. In that goddamn song. So I would play that as torture for you. Gag on is what I would do. How did you even

listen to that song in the first place? Like what brought you to that? Did Danny or no? No? I would listen like on the you know, the radio, the radiover edit or whatever. I hear it on the radio. Sometimes I listen to. I listen to music radio. Ocasionally hear different songs. I don't normally listen to. H Jesse from Pomona Rights In He says, I got a question

you probably won't answer. Yeah, okay, Jesse. With the Clippers owner buying the old house the Lakers build, will they ever get out of the Lakers shadow or will they always just be the other tream in l A uh Well, Jesse, first of all, that is a brilliant move. That is an alpha move by Steve Ballmer, the Clippers owner, and that is the move that will get them out of

the shadow of the Lakers. How embarrassing is it gonna be for the Lakers and the historians that follow that team when the l a Clippers in open the jewel, the Tajmal Hall of NBA Arenas and the Lakers are stuck at dopey Staples Center in downtown when the new cool part of Los Angeles is gonna be in the hood in Inglewood. You've got the NFL Stadium across the way. They are changing that whole area around that is going to be the spot, and the Clippers are It's awesome.

This is the move and the way you change. You have to go through a generation, a couple of generations. And you know, the old farts aren't gonna ever give the Clippers any kind of love. And I get that. But the younger people and the Clippers are doing a great job their marketing department. They are marketing. They are flooding youth basketball leagues with Clipper memorabilia and they're getting the kids, the next generations, the future of the world,

and they're getting these kids to be Clipper fans. And I think it's wonderful because these kids, you know, you're born In the last fifteen years, the Clippers have been better than the Lakers. Certainly the last ten years they've been better than the Lakers. What constitutes being better making the playoffs, better record, head to head, better record, overall, numbers don't matter at all. They do matter. They play

the games. They matter, every game has. That's where you're loser in life, Guest, because I'm working with every game matters, Megan writes in Friend of Jayson, Every game matters. You've got a guy that takes off every three days. Yeah for load management. Fuck, I'm all about it. Man. Hey, we're all practicing load management right now. With the coronavirus somewhere, we're all Kawhi Leonard right now. Alight, Megan, who's the I met her? Very nice woman, A friend of Jay

Scoop there. Lady friend of Jay Scoop from Seattle says, should the Tiger King be in jail for so long? Who else should be in there with? Now? I've not seen the Tiger King documentary. I'm gonna watch it this weekend at some point. I know this is on during the weekend. I've not watched it as we were recording this podcast. Have you heard about the Tiger King documentary on Netflix, Guest. I've heard about it. I heard it's painful to watch. I don't. I don't see myself watching

that at all. I got some old movies in the watch Anyways, I'm not gonna be watching that crap. All right, Well, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna check it out. Fox Sports Radio has the best a sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live from Matt in Mansfield, Texas. He says, Ben Mega dittos. How about that guy's a limbo guy? He says, who is better? Who's a better golfer?

You or gas Can? He says, I've always assumed that people who cover sports are good golfers, even Ray Ratto. Uh. I love that Matt lives in Mansfield, Texas and knows who Ray Ratto is. That is outstanding. That is just that's a ten um. Most most non athletes are good at golf. I don't golf very often. I've said that I really wish I was good at golfing because that's where your network, that's where you get jobs. Then I'm

not good at it. I played in a celebrity golf tournament for Fox Sports Radio last year, and it was such a debacle. It was such a humiliating, frustrating experience. I hit a folding chair, I hit several golf balls into the drink, other golf balls into the I I lost so many I ran out of golf balls. It was insane. And then I was like that' like from Happy Gilmore. I'm like walking through the trees trying to find my golf ball. It was very frustrating. So I

suck at golf. I'm pretty good occasionally on the driving range because I'm pretty tall and I've got some some muscle, and I can drill if I if I hit it perfectly, it'll go really far. But other than that, I mean, the putting stuff sucks and it's terrible. On um, what about you guess and your west of the four oh five, So I would assume west of the four oh five you very good at golf. Yeah, I played golf when I was a kid. My course you did, of course you did. My grandfather got rest of soul. Tom he

had he had passed away from from Alzheimer's. But then he was he played college hockey UH at Boston College before before the war, and he was drafted and then came out here and played a little bit at l m U, and then he went from he went from the army to the to the l A p D and so he obviously retired the skates and started golfing. And so when I was young, he taught me how to play golf. But when he got sick and he passed away. Eventually I was a teenager from from Alzheimer's.

So um, I still have his golf clubs, and I remember last year's in the summertime. I actually dusted those things off. Was the first time in like twenty years that I touched him, and Um I went to the driving range and I was out there for about forty five minutes, and I had blisters on both of my hands because I was just trying to sleep for the fences. I haven't played the game in a long time. I'm not a fan of it, but you know, it's part of the reason why I haven't, because you know that

those memories and you don't get them back. So he Oh, I wonder who would win it? Because you say you haven't played a while, but you did play golf, and you know, I wonder if head to head, if we went to a pitch and put like, who would who would win? We should do that sometimes many many You're okay with many at your golf you know, Oh, yeah, I can do that easily. I mean, I'd rather do that the windmill, get the ball in the windmill, you

know that way. It's better to do that than go like paintballing or something, because I'd be shooting your hands. I would drill you, you you would I would have no mobility. Man, I'm a rock. I don't care. You can shoot me. All of that doesn't matter. I'm gonna nail you. You know how bad. We have a few more. Jeff in Clarksville, Indiana. Right, So he says, Ben, what is the one thing you like the most doing radio? What is the one thing you hate the most doing radio? He says, he's across

the river from Louisville, Kentucky. Uh, there you go. Well, here's the way I describing It's cool. It's a fun job. It's a great job. If you ever get a chance to do a radio show, you should do it. Um. And I like the fact that every day is different, although I can tell you right now not every day is different, but we're talking about different things. We I love the fact that every day I go to and

I wake up and I have a full chance. I have a blank canvas if you will, And I can fill it, and there's always usually new things, and I can be creative and try to find different things to get people engaged, and I love that. I also love the fact that there's the people that follow the show. The Mallard militia have been very passionate and I don't deserve this. They've been very loyal to me. I've got people that have listened to me for ten fift twenty

years on the radio. Over twenty years, Doc Mike and guys like that, So I love that. UM people have have been pen pals with me, and they've they've become married and gotten kids, and their kids have grown up and gone to high school, summer, even in college and beyond, and that's pretty cool. That's wild to me because I don't think the time. I don't realize that the time has gone by that quick. The thing I hate most

about radio is the instability of the business. It's a very fickle industry, UM, But I feel like all industries are like that to some degree or another. And the cool thing about the broadcasting businesses now because of things like this podcast. Before you were at the mercy of your employer, but now with the podcast, I've got friends I used to work with in radio that make more money now, you know, charging five bucks a month for their podcast. They lost the radio job and they they

they're making a killing doing things like that. So there's different ways you can do it. But that's the downside. But other than that, it's more good than bad. So um Sean and Nashville rights and he says, uh, would you rather page down? Page down? Page down? Uh? Never witnessed the Dodgers back in the World Series or be kicked below the belt by and then I cut off the end here. I think probably some kind of wild animal. Um, yeah, you know, I don't. I mean, you can kick me

below the belt. I don't care. I mean, it's not though, I don't really benefit from the Dodgers winning, other than I can just be an annoying schmuck. But I'm not anyway, Like it's not like I worked for the Dodgers anymore. When I was doing Dodger talk, I might have gotten a World Series ring, which would have been pretty cool. Of course, when I was doing it, they blew. They had all these high prize players and they didn't win. Uh No, this was Kevin Brown, Gary Sheffield, that era

of Dodger baseball. Yeah, he was around Mandy. I was tight with Mandy. We were Rookies of the Year together in the early nineties. Me and Mandy. They ran what five straight years with Rookie of the years yep, five consecutive years and had day O Nomo, Hollandsworth, Piazza, Caros, Manda. See all that era and what did it get them? All? Right, Stephen Louisville. Right, So he says formally from Indiana or from Indy rather, he says, well, garlic, keep COVID nineteen away. Nope, Uh, yeah,

I'm gonna go No, although Doc Mike. Doc Mike might disagree because he thinks you just drink your pists and do good. You know, that's what he thinks. I think. I love garlic, but I'm pretty sure it's not gonna keep you safe from corona the virus. Yeah. Everything they say to take, at least for supplement wise, zinc not in an empty stomach, zinc, vitamin C, vitamin D UM pound that as much and obviously water and uh and get plenty of We're doing a lot of um at

the Mallard mansion. My wife a hippie, and we're doing a lot of fruit smoothies. That's good vegetables and the fruit and makes all that together. She took some of the recipes that I had posted on Instagram, and he's big on the pomegranate juice. She thinks that's really good for you, pomegranate. Big fanom buying into the pomegranate. I've never had pomegranate before a couple of years ago. I don't think it was it regularly produced other than a

few years ago. Are you at least adding some peanut butter or anything that kind of gives it a good kick for taste? Well, whatever she puts in there, all eat. You know, whatever whatever is in there, um good. Uh. Let's see Carlos from Houston writes and he says, who is the big voice guy on the incident vice line? I don't know, Carlos. I don't know. There's a few people that have big voices they call in. I don't I don't know who Ron and Rockport, indianisis Ben? When

is the next talent show? I don't have a date. Ron. I'm thinking that if this continues, sometime in April, um, because we're not gonna have sports in April. And so we're gonna need some content, and I think that would be a great time to have another talent show in in April, and J Jay Scoops better start preparing and all the other fine members of the Mallamlicia. So if you have a talent and you want to be part

of that, I'll let you know more. But the way it's looking right now, unless we start getting sports back in April, we're gonna have the talent show in April. So what's gonna happen? What else? Vernon from San Diego rights and he says, if Costco never brings back the samples, what will you do? Will you do a boycott? Is that in order? Uh? Yeah, listen, I am a big fan of the Osco sample. Been very clear about that, Vernon. It's a big part of my life. It's a big

part of my routine on the weekends. I I often go to Costco twice on the weekends, one day to shop and the other day just eat samples. Um. I openly admit that, and I'm not bashful about that. I'm bummed out, but I would probably stand. I would probably do some kind of rhythmic chant uh for Costco. I would do some kind of rhythmic chant. You know, what do we want samples? When do we want it now? You know, something like that. But you're the only one

that likes get up, get down. There's a sample movement in this town. You're the only one likes the samples though, right, your your wife doesn't like the samples. No, no, she doesn't because she's doing the dopey gluten free thing, so she can't eat most of the stuff anyway. Well, yeah, because most of it's not gluten free. What do you think which chance better? What do we want samples? What do we want it now? It's pretty good? Right? Or

or what's the alternative? What's that? What's the alternative? Get up, get down? There's a sample movement in this town. Oh, you should do that. You should do it like an updown or like a y m C a kind of model. You should do it like get up, get down. Yeah, like that one, two, three, four, We don't want your fucking war two four or six eight, Stop the violence, stop the hey, bring back the samples. You should be in d C with that one. Yeah. I could be

a political protester. I know all the I know all the lyrics. Hey, Hey, ho ho, Costco's gotta go there we go. Hey, come on, you are well versed, my friend, I know all of them. There's only like four or five different protest chants that they do, no justice, no peace? Right? Whose streets are streets? Right? Whose samples are a sample? What do you think? We have a bunch of other questions, but we have hit the end of the road, gascon, Yes, the end of the road, as they said, yes, yes,

anything to promote here, gas on. You know what, that's a good reminder. I got a care package this week. And I know you're a big fan of plugging. Um, I'm only when it helps me. Well it might in some ways, you know. I've I've worked on a couple of different platforms and one of the sponsors, a clothing line down in San Diego called viry Um sent me a care package earlier this week. Um. There's a lot of fitness products like Nike, under Armor, Reebok, all these companies.

They have pretty decent stuff. But viry they sent me a spring collection of stuff, sweats, a couple of T shirts, some workout shorts. You gotta check it out, man, go online. It's a wait, wait, wait, how come I didn't get any I'm the star of the show. Well that's the debatable, like maybe a star, but it's the brightest star. Wait wait wait holds different you know wait wait wait wait

time what that means? You're actually getting paid for this and I'm not getting paid things because I didn't get anything. It's it's I don't even get a pat on the back or an out of boy. Well, it's more quality than quantity. And I think you would agree with me and that that the voice is a little bit different when it comes from me, and so I think that

that's more about mark ability. And here I am for them. No, no, no, you know, I voiced over an HBO commercial for a documentary which is going to be airing on radio stations this week for who me No no, for like what I heart media. I've voiced over an HBO commercial read for this college basketball documentary which Dave used and you better watch it. It's supposed to be really good. March

twenty Was it based on Arizona on Arizona Wildcast? Yeah, it's on the it's on the shoe scandal, and it's really from what I understand, it's i've actually seen it yet. But I've heard amazing things about it, like this is gonna be just blowing the lid off of that scandal, and some people are gonna end up losing their jobs because of this, supposedly. I saw some tweets about it, like I guess, like Sean Miller is the one guy that said is it's just perplexing why he will still

have a job after this even if he does. But that's great. I mean I would need you should pass some of that stuff my way. I mean I always do some veal work. Well, I mean, why don't you pass a couple of T shirts my way or jumpsuit or something like that, and we can, you know, go back and forth. Yes, But I guess the one thing is those your your body shape is always changing. We talked about your suits, and you said you don't want to hem them. You want to wait till you lose

the most amount of weight possible before you buy. No, but I'm willing to break that protocol for new clothing. But I don't. Yeah, I don't like to change my clothing because I did it before and then I gained a lot of weight back. So I'm paranoid. I'm superstitious. That if I suddenly change my whole wardrobe around and get rid of my fat clothes and buy clothes that actually will fit, then then I'll just start eating, you know, triple cheeseburgers every day and cheese puffs, and then I'll

be back up to where I was before. So I'm paranoid about that. It'll be a little dangerous if you wear this attire because I could see you wearing it all day, like you could be one of those people like that's in quarantine right now, that doesn't shower and just sits in the same attire for like eighteen nineteen hours until How do you know I'm not that? How do you know that I'm not doing that right now?

Because you admitted earlier that you were walking. You've been walking around the blocks I have been walking, so you've been doing that at least. So I can't wear my beature. I can't go full white trash wearing my pajamas walking around. No, I've not done that, and my my wife beat or T shirt I'm not doing. But this attire almost looks like pj's that's how comfortable it is. The sweats, the short if I had some gascout I'm sure it'd be. You know, I could brag about it, but I don't

have any gas, and I'm not like you. I am I getting paid for this podcast. You can no longer complain about the podcast. You're getting free swag. I don't get any free swag nothing, zero zip bo kiss. How about this? How about you go online? The website is viry floathing dot com. It's vu o r I clothing dot com. Take a look. I'm gonna right, I'm gonna go there right now. All right, what is it again? Vu O r I Clothing dot com. I think I know how to spell clothing all right? Into you're a

graduate Stytleback University, and that's right. You know, the Harvard of the West whether the Harvard of the West coast. I think you'd go for one of those hoodies. Yeah, the hoodies are good. I have two of those two hoodies. Yeah, there's one for winter and then the one for uh for spring. They're like windbreakers. They're comfortable. Yeah, yeah, I could go for like the sweater looks pretty good. The

performance crew. Yeah, you can blew rock this at at a Dodger Stadium game day night, or of course when you're in the Fox Sports Radio Studios if you ever come back. I don't think I'll ever come back. I think I'm just gonna do the show from home now hampered. That such bullshit too, By the way, what are you talking about, because you're in an isolated studio anyway, and the fact that you don't have to drive here but I do. It's bullshit. Well, the problem with the fight

the Fox Sports Radio Studios. I love them. I've worked there for twenty years. I love the guy co Fox Sports Radio students. The problem is not me. It's the other unwashed animals that work there. And that's the concerned. Like it was just me, I wouldn't worry about it because you know, that's a twenty four hour that's like a subway car, you know in Manhattani of the l and the kind of varmints that work there, and uh, and these people are animals. They eat, they poop all

over that place. It's that I don't know where to piss. It's a It's fascinating, all right, listen, have a great day today. We got another podcast tomorrow for it's every day this fifth hour on the weekends, and we'll we'll catch you next time and be safe,