I'm a Pilot! (Act 2.)

New York, you take the subway. I I don't mind it, although I understand the subway has gotten gotten bad, much like l A and San Francisco and all that with the homeless people and whatnot. But yeah, I have fond memories when I when I first went to New York, and I was like still a teenager and trying to navigate. I've never been on the public transportation trying to navigate

the the train system in New York. And I remember one time I got confused and I thought, hey, um, the train will just go back to where you know, if I stay on the train, it'll stop at the end and then go back to where I got on the train didn't quite work out. The train stopped in Harlem, and uh, and this is when Harlem was worse than it is now, and you know, they cleaned it up, but it was not a good part of New York. And the conductor gets on and says, all right, end

of the line, trains going out of service. So I'm this naive kid from the O c uh and I get out of the train. I'm like, holy fuck, I'm in Harlem. And it was late. You know, I didn't know the train schedule at that station, and I was like, oh man, But yeah, I have fun memories of the the train. I like it. I think it's cool. I took the public transportation in l A I used to live. When I lived in Lincoln Heights, I lived right near a gold Line station, and I took that all the time.

Do you like the subway better than the tea in Boston? Uh? The t is pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, I like all. I think it's all kind of same. I like the Tea, which is mostly above ground. There was the underground part, but I you know, I'm fine with any of that. I think Seattle's pretty cool. Seattle has like the the Metro. It's like the thing at Disneyland. What do you call it, monil, the monoreil. Yeah, it's like a mono rail type thing. Ye, I haven't seen that, which is kind of cool. Yeah,

that's pretty cool. Uh let's see here Nick in Omaha Rights and he says, who was your childhood sports hero? Did you ever meet them? Yes? Nick, in fact, this is very bizarre. But I got started in the business when I was nineteen years old. So I got into radio when I was nineteen, and I got a pretty

big break kind of early. I got hired by the Mighty six ninety and San Diego to be their roaming radio stringer, which was a cool job, and it was a job that didn't pay a lot, but I got to go to games every night, Like I'd go to the you know, Angels, Dodgers, Lakers, Clippers, Kings, and then the Ducks do some of that stuff too. So I was on out of game every night, USC football, U

c l A, Basketball, I kind of stuff. But when I first started nine, so you know, six years earlier, I was thirteen, or you know, seven years I was twelve, and a lot of those guys were still playing and so I remember like the people I looked up to, like Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan's and all this, and Reggie Jackson. Now Reggie wasn't playing, but he was broadcasting, and so I got to meet him. He was my

big baseball He was read Mr October, Reggie Jackson. I loved the swagger and all that stuff, and I got to meet him, and uh, it was very weird though. It was like surreal because when you're through the eyes of a child, you look at these people as these unbelievable, bigger than life people, and then you meet them and you know they they fart and do stuff that we

all do. You know, it's very it's very well. I remember one time Kirby Puckett, the late great Kirby Pucket in the uh in the locker and they were playing like a game of marbles. How about that. That's a long time ago. I don't think they played marbles anymore, but they were betting on it in the Twins locker room, and uh, Kirby and I was a fan of his. I love because he was very diminutive for the Twinkies, Kirby Puckett back in the day, and he was you know,

he was the round mound of baseball town. And but he remember he came up to me because I was like, I was very fat at this time and massive, and he was like blown away by how big I was and uh and he was cracking jokes with the guys on the Twins. And I remember because it was it was like, wow, this guy used to I remember watching him in the World Series and now making this great play in center field for the Twins. And now he's making the he's making derogatory comments about me. How great

is my life? But I mean, there's a bunch of little stories like that that that are kind of cool. But what about you? Gascon and he and he asked me Eric and omaha, but did you ever or Nick and olmah brother, did you ever meet anybody that you was a hero of yours as a kid. Yeah, I've only met one um when I was a kid. I mean across the platform football, basketball, baseball, and hockey. But I've met Gretzky once. Um. Actually no strike that I met him twice. The one time I didn't meet him

was on a real sour note. I don't know if you've ever saw I think it was Superman too, and that's very sour Superman too. Listen, well, Christopher Reeve as Superman comes down with a virus or like they called a cold. Was it the coronavirus? I don't know, because he survived um and he gets this vicious twelve o'clock

shot and he just turns into a bad guy. I bring that up because the last time I saw Gretzky, it was at the Venetian Hotel and he was playing blackjack with his agent and a buddy of mine saw him, and so he said, you should go play at the same table with Gretzky. So I sat down. I was playing with him and Ben. He just had stacks of chips, but he was losing his ass. It was hand after hand after hand. My buddy over my shoulders like, hey, that's a great one, and he heard him and he

was like, yeah, not so great anymore. And he proceeded just to continue to lose his ass. He walked away it stacks and chips watched away. There was nothing left in his in his tank. So I had a chance to meet him once as an adult, once as a kid, um, but never had the chance to meet meet John Elway. He was he was my favorite growing up. I was like, you like Barkley. I liked her Schizer in sosha Um, but never had a chance to meet to meet John

l A. I had a moment with Barkley. I love Barkley and I had a moment when he was playing at the end of his career and it was at the l A Line I think it was actually so it's twenty one years ago. It was the last year of State of Sports Arena before Staples Center, and so it was like they were talking about the final year of the NBA, and so they wanted me to get sound bites to these guys. So I this was a

viral moment before the Internet really took over. And I asked Barkley, I said, hey, you have any fond memories of the l A Sports Arena And he proceeded to tell me that, uh, he would like to be there when they detonate the explosives in the arena that could be arranged, which eventually I guess they did use a wrecking ball. It did come down, but that was a

long time after the the arena. I remember one time when I was a kid, I went to a Clippers sixers game when Barkley was a big star for the Sixers, you know, and and that asshole got ejected in the first quarter. He got two technical fouls, you know. And I'm like, oh my, I want to see him once a year, and this a hole got ejected. I was so piste off. I was so bummed up. That's pretty good. You know what a funny story. There's a there's this

woman she passed away I think last year. She went by the name of Boston Donna, and she was friends with my my dad and at the time, back in the day, as a kid, Boston Donna was the stylist, the little stylist for the Lakers and Kings players. So she cut everybody's hair like owners, general, managers, players, And that meant as a stylist, you knew dirt on fucking everybody. Uh my first come to Jesus moment. I don't know if you remember. At the Form Club, which is in

the middle portion of the Great Western Forum, debauchery took place. Yes, yes, a lot of a lot of it. Well, my dad and mom were there for a King's game. They took me as a kid into the Form Club and Boston Donna went rogue. She went in front of my parents to Bruce mcnal, who was the former general manager of the l A Kings but went to prison for on the owner, yeah, generalman owner, Yeah, so on on federal charges. He went away, but she called him out on all

that stuff. She's like, I know about you, motherfucker. You're a crook, you're a thief, you're a steel all the and I you know, I'm eight years old. I had no idea what's up from down and she was calling

him out before any of the stuff transpired. But this is the year that he acquired Gretzky from the Edmonton Oilers in exchange for some cash and some players, and obviously that cash was not his, but he was an embezzling, like the whole nine yards, right, This is the guy that went to federal prison, uh five, six, seven years later and she called him out in the mid eighties. So it was a pretty wild time that was. That

was a fascinating moment as a youth at the Form club. Yeah, well, did you know have you heard the Bruce mcnonal stories when he went to jail. No, these are legendari these are part of l A sports legends. So Bruce mcnal everyone loved him. Yeah, he was really loved him. He had a big personality and he was very social and everyone could not say good things about if you knew this guy, he treated you well. He spoiled everybody, um,

and so people loved him. And then when he went to jail, he was it is the definition of club feed, you know, like the Good Fellows where we're all cooking a nice meals and their lobster. And so the story was on the weekends they'd have these saw bball games at the jail that Bruce mcnaual was. I think it's near Santa Barbara, if I remember correctly. They I used

to know all the details. Over time, I've forgotten them. Um, but it was I think one of the Santa Barbara and a lot of the celebrities that would go to the King's games would go hang out at the jail to watch Bruce mcnaal play in the celebrity softball games and to god and uh, it was such a relaxed environment because it was you know, white collar criminal and all that stuff. And the stories I heard, obviously they were second hand. I never went, but then they were

legendary stories. Legendaries. You imagine you're at a prison softball game and there's all these Hollywood stars. Yeah, because what do they say in good Fellas, Like you went away to get away from your wife. That's what? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I love good I heard good Fellows is back on Netflix. I gotta watch it this weekend. I love That's my favorite movie. Good Fellas, good Fellas or Casino? Did you like Casino too? No, I'm good Fellas, good good fellow

I gotta watch Casino. I haven't watched that in a long time. I gotta check that out. But good Fellas is the you the all time great Eric in Omaha, we went back to back, belly to belly people from Omaha that loved the fifth Hour. By the way, my old boss, the great Mike Thompson, program director extraordinaire of the Big Sports talk station in Omaha, Nebraska. How about that, my old boss running things in Omaha's true story? All right, if you had a time machine, what decade in the

nineteen hundreds did you go back and live in? That's from Eric in Omaha. Well, Eric, there's two ways I will answer this. Number one from a sports standpoint, I think it would be kind of cool to see the legendary Babe Ruth play for the Yankees. So that would be in New York. But from a financial standpoint, I would like to live in Los Angeles in the early nineteen hundreds of San Francisco and by real estate. All right, that's what I would like to do because that would

lead to tremendous wealth for future generations. What about you, guess, gun, Yeah, I'm thinking seventies or eighties would be seven. These are eight, you know, No, I'm talking about early nine. Real estate was cheap still, well, real estate was cheap in the seventies and eighties, but not as cheap as it wasn't like the thirties. But you got to go through the depression, and you also had to go through the Wars too,

the Wars the Crew. But have you bought my My grandfather had a chance to buy a bunch of land in the sand San Fernando Valley because nobody wanted to live there and it was nothing, it was farm land, and he didn't do it. And now I drive through the San Fernando Valley in l A. It's like, you gotta be freaking kidding me. You know this is the whole family would have generational wealth if he had done that. I'm seventies or eighties. Man, I couldn't go that far back.

Oh please, it's it's a hypothetical question, dummy. I wouldn't want to go that far back, all right, Jason in Tampa says, after listening to your podcast, I must truly say Rob Manford and gag On have one major thing in common. They are both truly full of ship and live in their own reality and don't have a clue what is really going on around them. Your thought, Oh, that's just well put. Where is he from again? Tampa, Florida? Jason and Tampa. You go to Florida. Maybe you can

visit Jason, have a lunch with him. There's a there's an awesome hotel. Uh, speaking of Tampa, he can actually attest to this. It's in St. Petersburg called the Donces Are it is You spoke about good Fellas, Ben, This hotel is is straight out of good Fellas or Casino. It's it's pink with white lining around the overall hotel and the beaches there the sand is solid white. It's absolutely gorgeous. But yeah, the donces are hotel in St. Petersburg and Ben that was the that was the spot

where mob bosses would go all the time. And if you ever get a chance to go down to Tampa, I would highly recommend if you you and the missles go, or if you go down there to watch a raised game with your boy Blake snell Um, No, what the funk is he talking about? Like, I don't have a clue a clue about what? Like what is her referencing trying to touch with society much like Rob Manford. You want me to interpret what Jason is saying. I guess Rod Embers out of touch with the common man. The

common sports fan thinks the Astros should be punished. I think they think those players should be actually be banned. I think the two titles between Houston and Boston should be vacated and nobody should have gotten them in two thousand seven. So Jason saying that Rob Manford's out of touch with the populace, you're also out of touch with the Mallem militia. You don't relate to the common man. So it's different, But it's because you west of the four fun I get paid peanuts just like they do,

there's only one person You're not. You know, you're dealing with people that have hard working jobs, blue collar jobs. Most of them don't relate to these people, so do I. It is very blue collar to do the ship that I do for you, for the network and for other platforms that I want, because I do it all by myself. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on

Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Alright, Moving on Colie in Round Rock right San, he says, with toilet paper being completely bought out by paranoid masses at Costco, what would your go to be for backdoor maintenance? And he says a sock, cat, et cetera, some cold, well cold. That's a great question. I often think about what do you do if you run out of toilet paper? What do you do? Um? There's several options. You could obviously just use your hand and then wash your hand

really good. That would be rather disgusting. I think I'd go old school guests gun number two. I would use leaves because it wasn't that the original toilet paper. Yeah, So I think I would go with a nice But you gotta make sure the leaf is just freshly pulled off the tree, right. You don't want to use a leaf that's been laying on the ground for a while because that's on sanitary if you get poison ivy, Yeah, you would like that free. Could you imagine that? By

the way, where is your defecated underwear at these days? Uh? You know it's been washed and you know clean. And I had a couple of people that responded to me, men and women, that said that they related to your your misfortune about their pants. Yes, that was wild. It's uh see I'm not alone. There's a lot of people that don't talk about it. See I made the mistake of talking about it, and I compromised myself by talking about it. But yeah, it's a great It is a

great story. You figure most people after ship at least a couple of times a day, at least once a day. So if you do the math and you look at how many people live in the world, you know, something goes haywire. You know something goes something from a job inside there. The timing is all wrong and uh, you know you have an accent. It happens. You gotta use you. Yeah, you gotta use leaves. You gotta if you don't have,

if you don't have any other supplies. Ricky, Ricky and Beantown Rights, And he says, have you enjoyed a nice Asian massage parlor? Ricky? I think we've had this, suhtn't need on the show? Yeah, well last week we had it, all right, So Ricky, we had this last week? And uh no, Gascon has thy Yeah. J from Scottsville, Kentucky rights in a great place on God's green Earth. He says, if you blinked and when you open your eyes, you were in a new career unrelated to radio. What job

do you see yourself in? All right? Well, thank you, Jay. I see myself as a podcaster. That's what I see myself you, uh no, listen. I wonder like what would have happened if I hadn't made it in radio, if I hadn't been able to get a job and keep a job for a while, Like what would I do? And I I've I've often said I think I could push the shopping carts at Costco. I think I could work at Costco behind the scenes there. I think that

would be a job that I would enjoy. But as far as like other jobs, I've been an amateur lawyer. I've been an amateur lawyer on the radio, So I think practicing law on getting into a heated legal argument would be fun. I think that would be good. I'm also interested in real estate and investing in real estate and that kind of thing, so I think that would be interesting. You know, so that that kind of stuff. What about you, guess I've always said this, um waking up,

I would say I am a hospitality executive. I love hotels, Ben. I don't know if it's because of Vegas. I'd go when I was a teenager to where I'm at now, but I love hotels like the w Hotel here in l a Um, the Langham Hotel in Pasadena. It's old school name dropper, No, they're in Los Angeles. Who cares? I just mentioned the dances. Are you think about the MGM Hotel in Vegas, the Venetian, the Bellagio. I love hotels.

I think it's fascinating that you can take care of people just to get them away from their everyday live You mentioned sports. The beds usually suck, and I've been to hotels people leave ship in the rule, they don't clean the room properly. I went, I stayed at a hotel in Vegas one time, and there's somebody's driver's license and uh was in the room they left their driver's license and they're like, was there cocaine on the license? I don't. I don't know about that. I stayed at

the Cosmopolitan in Vegas a few years ago. Open. I have a this standard operating procedure when I check in, I under the bed, opened up the sheets and there was a used condiment it It was pretty good. Was it yours? No? It was not mine. I just got in there, dummy. I like hotels, man, I like you made that very clear that you like hotels. You don't need to repeat yourself. It's a it's fine, we we do that. You would work at a hotel, is what

you're saying now. I'd be an executive, like designing hotels and and building them across the world. I'd love to do something like that, like a brand. Brian from north Bridge in Massachusetts. North Bridge from mass Right, Cindy says Ben, seeing that gascon proves how awful he is in every podcast. Do you think that I Heart Media is trying to savogage you. Also, do you think he actually gagged while

trying to advance his career. That's from Brian. I don't know the second part of that, but it has been whispered in hush tones that Gascon is but he has been placed to derail my career, that he has been put in there to bring me down. No, No, I have actually said that to you via text, I think a couple of times, like I am here to try derail your show. Yeah, and you are. You have man

handled many a great show. That's true. I mean there's no you have people here in the building that can oppose my will so um, ironically, you don't have a lot of manhood, but you have a man handle show, which your Christmas parties anyway. Yeah, yeah, he showed up late and complained the food was cold when it was hot, when everyone else ate the food. I remember that. And then you you're like on the prowl at the at the party. There nothing wrong with that. Control yourself, Dan

and Kalamazoo rites. In Beautiful Calamazoo, he says, does Gagon get his creatine from Ashley Manning? I mean Chelsea Manning, fucking idiot? No, I think he's referring to Ashley Manning, which is Peyton Manning's wife. I think with the other way. Yeah, Darsie, you're actually more relatable to the other any other Manning. You're an idiot. I got you. Well, you brought that up. I didn't bring it up. What's any thoughts on that? Get Where do you get your creating? How much does

creating cost these days? I bought some creatina for fifty dollars, but the servings it's just one table spoon and it's not enough. You want like costco of creative. That's actually what it is. It's it's good for like sixty days or something like that. So are you a crusader to celebrate the virtues of creatin No, but Mark McGuire circle, No, I did do Andrew when they were on that home run spree. That actually got me into doing Androw like him. Sosa. Shannon Sharp was a big spokesman for e S. I

remember that. Yeah, yeah, I did all that stuff back and then I mean it's like monkey see Monkey do and I try to emulate Sharp when I played ball. So I don't know. I told you this last week, just the age and like getting old and your muscle. You really try to You still try to emulate the way you talk. You still emulate Shannon Sharp. What do you trying to say? Like? I don't I sound like him when I talked, Yeah, you sound a little bit like you have the same cadence is him. You know

I do not definitely do that. You have you gone back and watched our tape when I called that beautiful performance was centennial and Jay Sarah, Oh the seventy thousand and nothing score that, Yes, it was swept away by the garbage time programming game close. The game was a blow out and we got all your bits in the second half. So yeah that the only people watching were the mallam militia people. That was it? The only one you in anyway? Moving on here, let's see what do

we have here? More questions? This is the grab bag, A lot of questions from people like yourself. Uh, here's one. Are you wearing a face mask when you go to Costco? This is from Richie the Boston Guy. He says, are you gonna be wearing a face mask at Costco this weekend? If you are, are you bringing the free samples home or eating them in the car? Now let me tell you something, Richie. I am a dare devil. I'm a thrill seeker, all right, I'm gonna adrenaline junkie. Do you

understand that? So it is, I will go to Costco. I will walk around. It's like swimming with great white sharks in South Africa. When you go to Costco with the coronavirus, I will be doing that, just like running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, or driving two hundred miles an hour in the Autobahn in Germany going to Costco.

But I'm not gonna wear a mask, and I'm gonna I think it's even better now because people don't want to go to Costco because they're afraid of the coronavirus, which means more samples for me, more samples for me. Don't be such a fat ass. It's my tradition. You can't get fat eating samples at Costco. Yes, yes, you can't. Alright anyway, what else? Uh? Here's another one from Dan in Kalamazoo who wrote, and he says, are you prepared for a couple of weeks of quarantine if need be?

That's from Dan? Oh absolutely not, no, no, no, uh not prepared at all, but you can figure out You'll be fun. You are prepared because you get you have sick days, you have vacation days, you have camp days, you have all you have a plethora of days that you can take off from work. Well, I don't need to take days so I can do the show from the Mallard mansion. I have to so I don't have to take any days off. Very relatable, Ben, that is very relatable. Steve Harvey relates to me, Rush Limbaugh does

the show from his house. Very relatable. You know what's relatable as the figures that they make seven, eight, nine, ten figures. And Ben Mallory, Yeah there elite uh Ameiliao from the west side of St. Paul, Minnesota rights. He says, question is for everybody there, and this is actually about Roberto, but I guess we can answer it. Hold on a second, my headphones came loosier. So kill yourself, kill yourself a

little bit there. Well, what do you think what's the name lost a couple of days ago, the gambler um. What's that the one that was threatening everybody with this dull knife? Oh that guy Parley Pat Pats. Kill yourself jus yeah, well there you guys snapped my headphones back here anyway, Ameliana says, we're Roberto too scared to enter

the verbal octagon with Chris and Houston. He seemed shocked when Chris called him out as a little snowflake over blowing him up, hanging up on him, and was tongue tied. And then he says, will Roberto pull a whoopie pie Blair and no show versus Marcel? So yeah, I remember that Chris went a tack dog. He went piranha on Roberto, and uh, Roberto could have handled that a little bit better. But I would take Roberto over Chris because Roberto has

the power of fading down Chris. So Chris would not get a word in edgewise and it would be an advantage. He might be able to maybe poke the nose of of Roberto, but in the end Roberto would come back with enough haymakers that Chris would be marginalized. He's just not good content, Like, why would you put that guy? I'd rather have Marcel on the air than than than Chris. And here this is not helpful. Now you're just inspiring him to now harass you more. He's not. He's not

harassing me. I don't even pay attention to that bug. Alright. Moving on, Carlos in Houston writes and he says, I don't normally ask sports questions. Are you guys liking the new Rockets small ball lineup? Well, you know, Carlos, it goes against my DNA to say anything a negative or well actually anything positive about Houston and all that stuff. But I actually do like the small ball because it's a version of the D'Antoni system. I was a big

fan of the Mike D'Antoni system with the Sons. I love the way the Sun's played when they had Steve Nash and Mari Stottomeyer and the Matrix Sean Mary and I love those teams. They were fun to watch. They were entertaining. You penetrate your pass, you shoot all that flying around the court. It was awesome. And I we've got away from that. I know now it's just a jump shooting contents like a Papa shot uh in the NBA. But the way I'll answers, do I like it? Yes?

I absolutely like the way that the Rockets are playing. There's no question about it. Will it work? No, it will not work they can. It's not a sustainable thing. They're not gonna be able to win a championship playing that style of play. Uh, and they would have to break the norms of the NBA to do it. I don't see them doing it because I believe ultimately the playoffs,

Russell Westbrook will be a liability late in games. James Harden normally takes one game off in a playoff series or a half off in a in a key game and derails you. But as far as from an entertainment standpoint, absolutely absolutely, it's great. And they're gonna get killed rebounding wise, they better make all their shots. Um, but we'll see you down the line. But it's it's unorthodox, but it's fun. I would like to see them in a playoff series

against Dallas. I think that would be a lot of fun because you've got Luka don Chich and you've got porzingists that can shoot from the outside. And like you mentioned, the best thing is is Russell Westbrook is such a loose cannon that he can get forty on any given night, he'll go for forty and ten and ten, or he can go three of thirty from the field and James

Harden won't touch the rock. That's the that's part about watching Russell Westbrook play the game of basketball is that he can win it for you or he could absolutely just kill you. He can go vintage. He give a vintage Kobe Bryant the two thousand four NBA Finals, just shoot you out of the series. Yeah, I mean that's the way he's he's playing. Eventually will spiral out of control at some point and just undisciplined. And that's good for us because when he when he is unrestrained, and

it makes for great monologues. And I look forward to doing those monologues. I've done him every year, and I can write a book on how to do a Russell Westbrook is out of control, careless with the basketball and hurts his team. But but again, Carls, I like the way I like in theory of it. I like the execution. Probably will not, I will not work study this. You want to do some studies? Yes, be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two

a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Let's do it all right? A survey what percentage of Americans would turn down a free cruise because of the concerns over the coronavirus. I'm gonna say, hi, I'll go like se right now, So you think seventy three of Americans would say, I'm gonna give you a field, So I would give you a free cruise to the Bahamas. And you're like, am good, Yeah, I don't need it. Well, you're actually right in the

ballpark where you need to be. According to the survey, two thirds, two thirds of Americans would turn down a free cruise because they're freaked out by the coronavirus. We have a friend who's on a cruise right now. That's right, Rob Parker's on the Golden Girls cruise. Yeah. Did you see the video he posted of they had a contest, the dance off contest on the Golden Girls cruise. They were it's the yeah, the Best Rose contest and robson a photo from this. It's wild, man, it is crazy.

I don't know what's worse the videos are the fact that he posted a picture with his six dollar Gucci shoes on that he was happy that he got at a discounted rate, which were like a thousand dollars that said Gucci on them. Yeah, and I think it was Justin and Cincinnati that pointed out that Rob is actually cheaper than I am. Like. He will go to Ross Dress for Less, which is I like Cross. I actually

have shopped there before as well. But it's a great scavenger hunt when you go to Ross Dress for Less. But he will like brag about getting a shirt for one has to be seventy bucks or something. He will because our building is right next to a poil loco. He raised the chicken. Yeah, he will keep a cut from a poil loco just to return the same day or the next day. And yes, no, yes, no, yes, wow, that's a boss move man. He should write a book. That's great. Oh man, that makes me seem like a

very unfrugal person. Just I don't think I've ever done that. I don't recall ever doing something as ridunculous as that. That's great. Well, uh yeah, I I've never been on a cruise. I know some people say you should do it would be great, you have a good time. My wife would like to do it. But I'm good going on a cruise once. Congratulations, you want a cookie? No, I just cruises. You're just confined, so it sucks and you get sick, anything happens, you're you're fucked. All right,

here we go. A new survey says blank percent of Americans are avoiding corona beers because of fears of the coronavirus. For fox sake, Um, you said two thirds before, so I'll say a third. I'll say like close again, but not quite right. The answer is thirty eight percent. Thirty According to a new study, thirty eight percent of Americans are not drinking as much corona beer because they're freaked

out by the they got the heebie gems of the coronavirus. Boy, so does that mean that thirty eight percent of people are just complete the andre all morons? Is that what that means? Yes? Well, I guess the other question then, is if you're not drinking Corona beer, what would your alternative be to that? For Mexican beer? Like, would you go to Kte? Well, that's the only other Mexican beer I really know, so I think you'd have to get to Cote. But what kind of primitive, unrefined people are

living amongst us here? Like were they raised by wolves or something like that? Were they born in a barn? Gascon that they're like? I think I can get the coronavirus from a Corona beer with the lime, you know. Oh well, alright. Another one. Americans are spending more for more for treatment on blank ailments than any other conditions, according to the research from the US Healthcare Data. So we're looking for problems that human beings have with their

body that they spend the most money on per year. God, my first, My first inclination would be mental. So the mental not mental like physical like mental physical situation. Um, guessing right now, duet like hands to to to to, Oh, your time is up and say hands yeah, hands kind of but I'm not gonna give you credit for that. Americans are spending more on treatment for spinal issues and joint pain ailments than any other condition, according to the US Health Data. It's neck and lower back pain is

the main one. Uh. This the latest data they have is from and the amount of money spent on spinal issues and joint pain. Are you ready for this? Guess guy, painful you're sitting down? Yes, three hundred and eighty billion dollars, Oh my gosh, three eighty billion dollars now quarter only study. They point out that that breaks down to almost ten thousand dollars for every man, woman, and child who's a citizen in the United States. It is roughly eighteen percent

of the US gross domestic product. All right, for back pain and uh and you know, spinal issues and all that, and and joint pain at that crazy it is no I think do you think part of that's attributed to the fact that a lot of us have a sedentary jobs or sitting down a lot, or drivers that are sitting in traffic a lot, or commuting for far distances. I'm sure that's part of it. And people don't move. You gotta keep your body moving right as long as you can. You gotta keep body in motion, stays in

motion right. That's what I learned as a kids. Plus, like when you're sitting so much, your your legs, your hamstrings, and your quads get so tight. It leads to your hip flex series and it leads to the back. Can the stress for for all of us is like upper chest and upper back, so the neck. I don't know. I mean, I think the same thing too with with the joints. When you talk about your hands and elbows, just over usage see get on then get on, creatine Ben.

I think I need to get on creatine that that will change my life in amazing ways. Maybe do you have scoliosis? Uh? Do I have scoliosis? I know I didn't have scolios? Do you I do? Yeah, scoliosis. I've found that out five years ago actually because of working at Fox Sports Radio. I had back pain working on one of your shows and went to the doctor the very next day let me and he did an X ray and he says, oh, you got scoliosis. I said, oh, what the fund? Should I have been diagnosed with this

when I was a kid. He says, no, it's probably something from from playing your playing days or or driving too much. And yeah, it was all stem from working on your show. What a coincidence. Fox Sports right has the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live. All right, here's another fund study doing

study this real or bullshit? Who knew? Guess Ghan that you are like a dog that sexual scent that men can smell when a woman is aroused. How about that? I did not study? What's that? I did not know that? I think it's bullshit. Well, Kent University, though in the U k UH they did the survey and they said that attraction is conveyed through a number of avenues and many have nothing to do with spoken language. Yeah, the pheromones, right,

whether you're aware of it or not. Both men and women's body language often changes ever so slightly when we're around someone we find particularly attractive. And according to the study, anyone goes into detail here and it says that it's not just it's not just obvious. Sometimes literally according to study the Nose Nose, the research team has concluded that men can smell when a woman is it turned on about that I must not have this ability. That must

be lacking this ability. Can you go to a doc? But I can't turn them on clearly, And uh, I don't know when they're turned on. So maybe I can, you know, give me a guide book on that that that you know of course you don't know even you know, No, that's interesting. I was I was always on an impression that it was always the pheromones, so like our body hair would trigger women into the physical attraction too. But if you don't have any body hair, you can't we

got body hair, I wantn't wear another. Now, I've known some people that who is that guy, Charlie villain Auava. He didn't have anybody here. And I have a guy used to know was a clipper pr guy. Good guy? Uh did not he had that same illness. Nobody here, No, no eyebrows, no nothing, nothing completely gone. Yeah, bad John him. Anyway, here's another random study. Uh this, this one says Instagram fitness posts by the ladies do more harm than good

for women's body images. Yeah, Instagram is bad for the ladies because the Instagram posts that I see from females, like most of the time, they're either so lean that you think they're on some kind of performance enhancing drug, or there's so fake that you're curious as to what they have injected into him, like top and bottom ben Oh yeah, yes, don't you know that? Or don't you see that? Don't I know that? I don't know what's so. I don't think any women post photos without spandex on

in a him. I've not seen any of those on Instagram. I'm still waiting for the first woman to post something that's not uh provocative. But I've been good for them. Why not? Hey, you know it's working. Clearly a bunch of this horn dogs are clicking on all that stuff, right, Yeah, but you just you look at the body and you just think they must have spent close to ten thousand dollars on on some kind of surgery cos medics, you know what. I love as though, when you go around

and I see this, everyone want to go out. I don't go out of my house much, but you like to tourist area like in l A. And the Instagram model you know that's a thing now where they have a people with them for lighting and the whole thing.

It's like some of these things are professional photo shoots for because their Instagram influencers and they have you know, half a million followers or whatever, you know, five dred thousand followers, which is filf a million, uh, and then they I just want to do the math in my head. Guess it's pretty funny. It's like when I remember I used to live in Hollywood when we reality TV became a big deal, and I was stopped on Hollywood Boulevard

and they were shooting a scene. They were crossing the street filming a reality show, and the signal took a while, and I just for some reason, I was stuck at the signal, and they kept crossing the street until they got the right shot. And I was like, you know, that's not really really you know, I mean you said one take right. I mean they kept doing it until they got the right angle. And the people said that what they were supposed to say. And it's one of

those dopey dating shows. It might have been a Bachelor the original How long has the Bachelor been on there? Whatever? It was a Bachelor Temptation Island. It wasn't Temptation Island. Wasn't that enough? Was that blind? Was it Blind Date? Was that a reality show? Remember that one? Yeah? That was all right. According to a new survey, what how many in thirty people have in the shower? And thirty people, uh, let's have admitted to pooping in the show. Oh, I'm

gonna say this's is low. I'll say like, I'll say four out of thirty only one one out of thirty people said they pooped in the shower. Have you guessed, you know, pooped in the shower? I have not, thankfully, God handah, God, yes, have you on the show? No? I did. Number one I have no problem with. But the number two it seems Yeah, it's a problematic situation. Logistically, I don't know how because if you go number two,

you're getting how do you get rid of it? You're gonna have to use your hand to pick it up. I mean that's a big to do. Or it's even worse as if you take a shower, you dry yourself off and then you have to take a number two. Yeah, that is that's bad timing. Timing on that's not good. But how about one out of thirty people that means out of a hundred, that's three little over three out of a hundred people ship in the shower. Like we went from death talk radio to shipping on yourself radio.

I'd rather do ship radio and death radio. All you're doing money through Friday. So I think you got that base cleared. You think you're funny? I thought, pretty damn funny. Yeah, I think it just walked around it. Don't don't pull a muscle patting yourself on the back. Pull a muscle patting yourself. Man. All right, here's a fun study. This is we talked about the world we live in today as opposed to the world that we grew up in. Depending if you're at a certain age, well, globally though,

does it apply? There was a global study done what percentage of people think it is justified for a husband to beat his wife? Out of out of ten people, how many of the people, according to this global research, think it's okay for a man to slap around his wife. I mean in the world. Guess I'm not in America. Obviously America, I would think most people think that's not right. But globally, because you brought it up out of ten, I would say, Si, no, it's not that high, but

I still think it's ridiculously height. It's three out of tens, so thirty of people think it is allowed for a husband to slap around the wife. There. It's a new study done by a operation out of Germany, and they conducted data from seventy five countries covered over of the world's population, and three out of tens like slapper around. Yeah,

it's wild man. If that ever happened to me, I know, I'd been waking up with something from Good Fellas, right, like my better half with a gun pointed right at my fucking head. But ye have anything like in some parts like that that whole sharia law thing, you know, I mean that I guess is you know it's wild, but it's crazy that there's not many. I A new survey reveals that blank percentage of people goof up. That that goof up, that's the wrong word. They they intentionally

mislead on their resume. They lie on their resume, uh and they get caught. Seven percent of people lie on the resume and get caught. Only seven percent of the people to do this. Have Have you ever lied on your resume? Unfortunately not. No. I feel like if I if I needed to know, there's no reason to like the line of work that we're in. You can get

added right away, and there's nothing that we do. There's nothing that we do that really put you want to put on a resume anyway, because you can't justify your performance for what we do on a resume anyway, right Like you can't talk about number. Yeah, it's it doesn't. I mean, no, I haven't balished my resume, but I don't think anyone looks at my resume. I haven't needed a resume in years anyway, but I needed a resume. I had no resume. Now that I have a resume,

nobody wants my resume. It's all word of mouth. It's all these jobs are all passed out by who you know, not what you know anyway, last one on the study. This A new survey found that one in four Americans admit they have trouble remembering this. What do you think? One in four Americans have trouble remembering Um, they're their home telephone number. Dude, do what Most people don't even have a home telephone number anymore, So that's dumb. Bad job by you. One in four Americans admit they have

trouble remembering their A T M PIN. Oh, they're automatic teller pin. They cannot remember. I'm in that group, by the one. I think I know what it is, but I don't know if I haven't used it in a long, a long while. Any don't stick to sports stories, guests. The only way have any quick ones we can sneak in here this campus is now that the sixth hour. We're into the sixth hour of the fifth hour. Yeah, bad job by you. Yeah? Whatever? How about this one?

A flight was diverted after a passenger attempted to open up on exit door in the middle of a flight. Did you hear about this? What's wrong with that? Uh? No? This is a This is a shout out to our buddy. I'm a pilot an American Airlines. I'm a pilot guy. Why do you get a room with this guy? I think he's a great He's got a good personality, he's engaging, he's always uh, he's always positive. Anyways, hes got you're like weed man, hippie, you got your hand out? Man?

No way, you're begging. Act like you've been in the end zone before. I have. Come on, have you seen me at your Christmas parties? Anyways? An American Airlines an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Chicago was forced to make an emergency landing because a passenger actually trying to open up an emergency door. Bet. Here's the kicker on this though, is all the latches he actually got up.

The only reason the door did not open was because the pressure from the cabin space did not allow it to open up. That's reassuring. Yes, forty five minutes into a flight, they had to obviously divert the flight and touchdown in St. Louis, Missouri because someone obviously tried opening up a flight in midflight. Uh, the cabin doors. So I don't know what you would do in something like this, but I die because the door opens up, You're dead. I'm talking about someone made the attempt to open up

a cab. Yeah, I would go into survival mode and I would take the guy out and beat his ass, is what I would do. I can't see you doing that. Anyone do that though, Yeah, I would think you're gonna who cares? You're gonna die if the guy opens the doors, you might as well go vigilante and kick the guy's ass. Here. Speaking of which, this is a great story, this is uh? I know, obviously I'll determine whether it's a great story. You will not determine this is good for payback? Then?

How about that a woman? This is in in England, a woman was revealed to having swapped drinks with a stranger she suspected of trying to spike her drink, before later finding out that he was passed out in a puddle. So this woman was in a club and she looked away. She claimed that drinks between her and a stranger were on a on a tabletop and the guy had put

something in her drink. Later she she shared us on social media, but she swapped the drink with the guy when he wasn't noticing, And it turned out that the guy who was trying to roofy her drank his own poison and landed up in a puddle outside of a club. How good is that? That is pretty good. That's a that's a solid move by that Lady's a good job by her. Yeah, that's that's good man, especially not being

too in tune with the elements. I know when I go out with Gascon, I gotta make sure to switch the drinks because that guy, let me tell you something, he puts crap in drinks. Man, No, no, I trying to put roof He's in there. You're an idiot. Your nickname is Cosby. That's what you want listen, I I do, I do need to make a request. Since we're going to a bougie event over the weekend, Um my alcohol needs to have either one rock or it's neat. Uh. I guess we'll buy a round of drinks. You will

order the most expensive whiskey on the menu. Yes, maybe that's good. So I don't want to say what we're going to because I might not work out. But then next week we'll have recap coverage all have said social event. If we do end up at any Now, keep in mind, you were not invited to this. I just want to point out I I was invited but to a Hollywood event, but you were not invited. But but out of feeling pity for you, I decided that you are such a dope that you need to go to this thing, and

so I I passed the invitation onto you. But you were not invited. Every loss ship needs a lighthouse, and Ben Mallory, I I am that lighthouse for you, So I will be. But I am your beacon. I am your guiding light. Here. Have you understand that I am your inspiration. I'm the one that gets invited to the A list parties. I just never go to these things. I invite. My wife likes to go out. So every

once in a while, throw a bone. You know, we get to go out and throw your wife a bone because I get invited to a lot of these things that I never go to him because I don't really like those. You know that these parties are not my scene. It's probably once in a while I'll go. That's probably the why you're stuck on the overnight, not the daytime stuff. See, I don't look at it as is stuck in the overnight. I got more affiliates. I'm cleared everywhere. I love the overnight.

It's great. Nobody bothers me. You got carte blanche there in the overnight. Alright, guess, thank you very much, and enjoy the weekend. The rest of I forgot. Oh my god, I mean, can we put the baby? But we can't. We can't remember we have the wager? What was what wager? Okay, I will refresh the audiences memory or rehash yours anyway. Is that? Um? The l a rams have a competition going on here in the next couple of weeks. Oh

that's right, yeah, yeah, well I don't. We can't really get into this, but I have and I I would like Gascon to try out to be in l A ram mao Cheli. Alright, So I will do it under two terms to two conditions. Ben always with conditions, there's always an ultimatum with guests. So if we can get my my Twitter following up to like, let's say, like four thousand, and my Instagram handle up to like let's say two thousand, I will do it. So you're basically

panhandling for followers. So how many how many what do you need even the numbers on that again? Four thousand on Twitter, all right, and two thousand on Instagram. Okay, how many do you have on Instagram right now? Instagram I have like four hundred. Oh, you're not gonna get I've been begging. I just got to a thousand and I've been begging every night. There's no chance. Well what

about Twitter? Then? Twitter? I have like twenty. Yeah, Twitter is doable because I Justin in Cincinnati would just just to see you as a male cheerleader, would like buy some bots to father. I wouldn't buy it. I can't do that. Gotta be authentic. But I'll do it even if it's Justin or anyone else that that. No, I don't want bots. But now they're gonna be bots. It's gonna be like a bunch of people in India or whatever that they're gonna be following you the fake account.

So we'll do so if you if you would like to see and I'll go there and I will document Gascon trying out to be a male cheerleader for the l A Rams and I think it'd be a great bit. So if you want to be part of that, find a way to get gas gone by the Russian bot followers for gascon, so his Twitter account gets suspended. That would be great. Alright, have a wonderful weekend. We'll catch you next time. Be back on the radio live in the overnight on Sunday into Money eleven in the West,

two am in the East of Money. Have a great weekend.