Family Conflict

And you have stumbled upon another edition of The Fifth Hour with Ben Mather And for that we thank you. Because four hours a night are not enough. We do this eight days a week, eight days a week. As you know, if you are a loyal minion and supporter, we thank you. And tell a friend, Tell a friend, this is a secret cheap code. And I boy, if you did this, you make my day. And I'm hearing reports of people that found the podcast because of this

word of mouth advertising. If everyone listen, you and the other people listening to this podcast, get one person, friend, co worker, relative to download this podcast. We will immediately in the battom an eye double the podcast numbers, which would be great to make the bosses happy and all that stuff. So and and also, I'm not opposed. I've said this in the past. I'm not opposed. Grandpa and

Grandma have a smartphone. They're not that tech savvy. If you happen to borrow their phone and subscribe them to the podcast I for automatic download, I don't think they'd be upset by that. I don't think that's illegal. Maybe I'm wrong on that. If they let you borrow the phone or whatever. We are joined West of the four oh five sas Shane his way down the catwalk doing a pirouet. Mr look it me man, David guess I

feel very honored to be introduced like that. I don't know if I had an entrance like I was a w w F wrestler, would it be more like like Rick Rude or Mr Perfect? Trying to figure that out. Well, you you would be the heel. I think we all know that they were both heels. No, but you you there's no on this show. You You are the bat You're like a low level batman villain on this show. Right, you have you have nefarious intent, you are you're menacing

against the Mallard militia. Now you're like You're like the perfect gargoyle. You're like a fake tough guy. You know, it's love gargoyles. That's a drop, that's I love. You said it. You also love Lucifer. Lucifer. You were you were? You a fan of Batman back in the day as a kid, the show I did I Love? You know, the TV when I was a kid was terrible and we didn't have the Internet, so I watched like the they still were showing the Batman, the TV show Batman reruns.

I was a big fan of that. Yeah, it was so corny. Yeah, I gotta watched some really crappy, like Chips, the TV show Chips. I wanted to be high. I wanted to be in the California Highway Patrol. Don't forget

Dick's the Hazard bad but Chips. It was funny because when I first started in the in the radio, and I was in San Diego, and then I got I got the reporting job, so I'd go into l A and I remember I'm making the turn from the ten to the one ten going to the sports arena, and you drive in that circle, you drive right past the California high Away Patrol headquarters in downtown which is where they filmed you know, Chips the show, and so I got so excited by that, and I was like, oh man,

that's where Poncerello was that, you know. And then and I also I love there was a show called Emergency. Oh yeah, William Shatner was the host of that one, right, no, no, no, no, it was it was like an ambulance like fire station show and stuff, and it's like cheesy nineteen seventies early eighties television, and it was like Station fifty one. They made up this fake fire station and I watched that a lot because I was on TV in the afternoon

when I got home from school and I drove by. Unfortunately, that fire station was it's a real fire station. It's actually west of the four oh five. It's over in your territory, which is unfortunate. But they they did film that show there. So some of the some of the shows I watched, I'm looking at the cast. Yeah, William shat Or did Rescue nine one one, but yeah, Emergency, I'm looking at that nineteen seven two s it. Yeah, yeah, it was off the year by the time I started

really getting into TV. But they still, you know, reruns, they didn't have anything. They were still showing I love Lucy reruns and Three Stooges and you know, stuff like that was still getting regular play on television. So and Archie Bunker. I don't think they'll even broadcast anymore. I guess I'm old. I don't know what happened, but it's crazy anyway. We have the mail bag, Gascon, your favorite podcast,

my favorite podcast. I know you're not just sending. I know you're not supposed to look forward to look you know you look back a little bit. But I'm I'm eagerly awaiting the mail bag for next week for some reason. Just put that right, yeah, interest just I just have a feeling they'll be a handful of people that start whining and complaining about certain kind of audio that is being bled into their ears. But well, listen, that is your doormain. You are the engineer producer of the Fifth Hour.

So if there's any problems, any complaints, you can direct those to David J. Gascon to send those in. So, al right, here we go this email bag. The first ones from Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts. He says, being the prestigious and wealthy radio personalities that you are have you ever had ad copy cross your desk that you flat out rejected and told the company that you wouldn't read or endorse. It's not like either of you would endorse just anything, say like in a rectile dysfunction, aid, I

absolutely endorse that. In fact, maybe I do. Uh In that vein, Pierre says, have you ever had a dust up with an employer over something that you said we're done on the air? Well, of course that's happened a time. Um. We actually, me and Looney, we had one of our sponsors was a bacon company, right, and I had made a joke on the air, you know, trying to we were trying to add lib and improvise the copy to

get you to buy this unique brand of bacon. And I said, this bacon so good even Jews eating right like that? Now, I thought, being Jewish, I'd be able to get away with that. But this was several years ago, and I got in trouble for so some guy was listening. Some guy was listening and complained, and I was like, I thought I had the exemption. You know. It's like it's like when you know, black guys do jokes about

black people, you were allowed to do it. I thought that was the rule, but I guess, I guess not so. But what about you guess? Have you gotten any trouble with any of this stuff? No, I've never gotten in trouble, but I've never had. Most of the copy that I get is just it's like one or two lines outside of like a discover card read but nothing ever to that point, I haven't gotten Have you gotten a woke

copy yet? I haven't got any woke copy. I've gotten some with like woke phrases that I've tried to work around. But yeah, Hey, we're as John Sterlings told us, we're here to sell the soup. That's right, We're here to sell the soap. Now it's a little bit different because we work on the national level. Where the national level we don't get paid to read copy um regional and unless you have a special unless you have a special side deal, then you'll get paid to recover. Usually we

don't get paid extra for the commercial commercial endorsements. Yeah, that is that is accurate, alright, Chad from Champagne Illinois Rights and he says, hey, Bett, have you actually counted or have a rough estimate on how many hats you own today. We've actually talked about this, Chad. I don't have a number. I think I want to say the numbers like thirty or forty, but I think it might be even higher than that. He says, you have a room of just hats on display at the Mallard mansion.

Where do you put them all? Well, actually have them right now. I have these big hat bags because I have noticed if you if you leave your hats out, there's this thing called dust that gets all over the hats and it becomes problematic, and so I keep them in these air tight um plastic hat bags, which are specially designed to store hats. So that's where I keep them most of the time, which does the only problem

with that is I can't see everything. So sometimes I have a rotation of hats that I try to go through. But sometimes I'll forget a hat and then it will be kind of be lost in one of the bags, and so then I have to go back and and go through it. But that's that's the hat deal. Chat g O writes in he says, do you enjoy doing the live radio show or the podcast? I like both. I prefer radio. I prefer radio. I've done that a lot longer. I like that we can say whatever we

want on the podcast. Like I feel like podcasting is great. It's more narrow though the the audience is less than radio. There's still a lot of people that don't listen to podcast Podcasts have become very big, and much bigger than they were when they started, obviously, but there's always that magic of radio where people driving across the country stumble upon the radio and they're lonely or whatever. You don't get that with the pipes. You have to want to

listen to this podcast. You don't stumble upon this podcast. Yeah, it's safe to say. And then on top of that, just the I mean you mentioned it in past episodes with people and being able to rate it and comment on it. People just can't access it all the time. I did find out that some of the some of the platforms too, aren't always updating content to like Apple iTunes at times, or even i heeart won't automatically refresh or update content on the regular like it didn't in

the weeks past. So kind of curious about that. Interesting on our podcast or it's podcast in general, podcasts in general? Yeah, okay, okay, all right, um, Bill in Los Angeles rights, and he says, if there are a hundred legs on a centipede and a thousand legs on a millipede, how many stamps are in a stampede? And then he said this for you, guess if a wood chuck could chuck wood? How much could a wood chuck chuck if it hired a bunch of guys from home depot. It's a good question. He

wants to know what time is it in Brisbane, Australia. Um, what do they like? Are they like a twelve hour difference from us? Now, they've got to be more. New Zealand's like nine, eighteen or nineteen hours, depending on the time of the year. So I assume Australia's Are they on the same time on this New Zealand or is it like an hour difference? I think it might be an our difference or some of that. So I think there are twenty hours. They're fourteen, oh the fourteen hours

ahead of New York, so seventeen hours to us. Yeah, I'm worried about us. Yeah, yeah, because I know because I go on in New Zealand every Friday and that's a nineteen hour gap from West Coast Time. Oh yeah with Darcy, right, yeah, Darcy Walder GiB said, I actually go on Friday afternoon in l A. I go on my my hit time I call Time. Is it like one one twenty roughly between one I'm supposed to go on and but that is Saturday morning. It is the most listen to Saturday morning like show in New Zealand.

They don't have a lot to pick from, but they love love that show. It's like a news show. It's not even a sports show. They might just love you for your accent, my weird Yankee accent. Yeah, your Yankee accent? All right. David in Toronto's Hey Ben, why don't we just allow pictures to pitch with a tool belt on their hip? Well, that's essentially what Pete Alonso said, right, didn't Pete Alonso say that this week that we talked about. They did a monologue on and he's like, I don't

care what they're used. Let him have all that behind them out they can do whatever they want. I feel bad for Dave in Toronto, really in Toronto, because that country is that country is lost right now. Man. People aren't going out, kids aren't going back to school. It is just lockdown Central. It's wild, like a family living not in Toronto but in Canada. It's just awful, wild and crazy. And they have bagged milk also. But the poutine is good if they can get to it. Teen's wonderful. Alright.

Michael has a Gascon list question for both of us. He says, ranked the cheaters, Lance Armstrong, Garrit Cole, steroid guys, rash Can and Buzzer cheats in Houston. All right, So on my my big board here, I've got number four on the list. I am going to put Garrett Cole. Not that I'm dismissing what Garritt Cole is doing, but I'm gonna put him last on this list. The Yankee picture using spider tack to doctor the ball. Uh, then I would put the steroid guys ahead of Garret Cole,

so their number three on the list. Now number two is a toss up. I'm gonna give number two to Lance Armstrong and number one the Astros, the cheating Astros edging out that scoundrel Lamps Armstrong who hornswaggled. Although to be fair Armstrong in the in the big picture, that charity, that cancer charity which was taking money for cancer awareness and not really cancer research, which is bullshit. It's would be number one. But I have a beef with the astros.

But in society, you would say, in the general population Lance Armstrong because of the charity stuff and and also just lying and all that. But it's cycling, so it's not to me, it's not that big a deal because I don't really follow cycling the sports part of it. I'm going the opposite way. I will go Lance Armstrong as number one, Astro's number two. And don't forget he

didn't win just one Tour de France. He wanted to run, and the ability for him to have that blood cycled in and cycled out, beat all those tests, to do it with one testicle, and then at the same time just absolutely crush. His relationship with Cheryl Crowe. I think they were I think I don't know if they were married or dating at the time. Um, but he was encompassing, like the United States as just that American bread. He was that symbol, right, he was like he was Rocky

in Rocky four. He was he was our white Knight. And the fact that he went internationally and cheated the entire system. I know Obviously cycling is full of cheats, but for him to do that on such a national stage, and don't forget, like the money is one thing. The prize money is one thing, but the endorsement money is a completely other thing. And he raped in thousands and millions of dollars and you know, had a double middle finger to everybody, and uh, and it goes on TV

and his act to contrition was so small. I didn't believe one ounce of it at all. But you know, the woe was me and the victim card to Lance Armstrong's the top dog on that for me. Yeah, he's a dude. He lied. I mean there were people he won a loss. It that's like you know, you talking about lawsuits and winning and losing. He won a lawsuit against someone that said he cheated while he was cheating.

He it was it was one of the testing It was one of the delivery guys, right, I think is one of the delivery guys that was delivering or transporting um the blood samples from one center to another. I think that's what it was. And he got fired. Well that was the Ryan bron thing. Was that the lanser I'm showing, right, Ryan Bron accused that, and I remember, like all these athletes, of course, the dumb athletes, the dumb jocks are like, oh no, Ryan Bron, never remember

Aaron Rodgers an you with check or something on that. Yeah, so funny. It's these guys are such dopes, all right. Anyway, Moving on, Mark in Ottawa, another fine Canadian lad says, what is David's favorite thing? The gag on the Ottawa Senators? Okay. Ricardo from Fresno says, Ben, how many callers do you have on the payroll? That's a good question. Well, right now on the payroll, we've got Marcel in Brooklyn, Pierre beer Ding. You know, Pierre don't called beer drink, He's

he's on the Twitter payroll. That's a different, different part. We have. Who else we have beer drinking, Brian half Point, Christ and m Chris and Houston has been on the payroll for a while. Regina in Minnesota, Hollereen James in Minnesota were very big Haze in Minnesota. We pay a lot of our callers from Minnesota. Their characters on the show, their voice actors. They actually appear on a lot of radio shows. Um, we've had good out of the list here.

Of course, in Maine, we have Blair in Maine, we actually changed his character. He originally was Blair in California. We changed his character. We paid him in the Lestra money to pretend to be Blair. In Maine, we did that. Blind Scott, Blind Emmett, the Seahawks fan, he's a new character. That's we have a big budget on this show. We pay a lot of a lot of random people. Jed who fled the the guy that pretends to be a

methodic on the show. He's a popular character on there. Yeah, we Fats in Philadelphia, you know, the cliche trope of a fat Philadelphia sports fan that lights himself on fire and excuse my name. That cost a lot of money because he got a Daredevil rate guest gun when he lit himself on fire during the draft. We had to pay him Daredevil money. Fats. That cost us a lot

of a lot of move on. And then we have like people we pay on you know, we pay on Twitter, like you know Justin and Cincinnati, just Josh, Jay Scoop, Queen Rocks and uh, you know goat Man. You know, we have joke writers that it's a very expensive show. There's a big budget operation here. That's a great question, Ricardo. We pay a lot of people. It's very kind of you to actually pay some money to Justin and Cincinnati.

I know he's been out of work for the last two years because he's a dumbass, So congratulations, good job. At this point, I don't think he's out of work. I think he's retired. I don't think he can say he's out of work. He hasn't really wanted to work. I mean, he can't even figure out which bodies which you know, it's amazing. Kevin in Kansas rates and he says, dear Ben, and David is a high school teacher. I like to hear where my former students have ended up

as they move on in their life. Do you ever hear from former teachers who are proud when they hear that you're on a national radio You know, I have not directly heard for many teachers. I have heard through associates. There's a few people I talked to from high school or elementary school. Actually, there's one person who's still friends with our elementary school teacher, Ms Cleman, and she's retired. You know, she's just you know, he's older. At this point,

obviously because she's a lot older than I am. And yeah, she's she's aware and supposedly very proud, So that's cool. But yeah, if I was a high school teacher, that would be like the coolest part, Like to see what happens, what these these pupils go out and do. I think that's that's pretty what about you, guess on any teachers reach out to you. I've had coaches. I've had a couple of coaches that have reached out listening to the podcast, and I just I'm like, man, why listen to the podcast? Yeah,

because it's so different. You know, people will say, man, you sound drastically different on the air than you do in person. And part of it is because you know how I am or you know how I talk in person is uh, you know, probably a little bit more

r rated compared to on television or radio. But I used to get that a lot when I was doing stuff back in the Dodger days because the guys on the team and I was in the locker room a lot hanging out with those guys, and I was, you know, have a good time, and the guys would be like, you know, you're like a total introvert. You don't see anything when you're around us, and then you get on the radio and you won't stop telling me, like what is that? You know they're giving me a hard time.

And I was like, yeah, if I if I get on the radio and I'm an introvert, I don't say anything, I won't be in radio. I have to talk. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's a great crazy dynamic. Yes, it's it's not that hard to figure out the arithmetic on that. It's not that hard. This job is not that easy, all right. As a young man dating in your teens and young adults years, did you ever a balls fan? Jimmy in Fayetteville,

Tennessee has got that nice volunteer accent. He says, Uh, you know, young guys, did you ever get caught red handed busted cheating on your girlfriend or boyfriend? For both of you? Uh? No, that the answer is no. I had such a struggle dating. I was in no position like I probably would have if I had the opportunity, But I didn't have the opportunity, so it was never an option. It was never a card that I had because it was it was a struggle to get second date.

So I mean the idea that I would be cheating on someone. Uh seen preposters, what now, I guess Scott. I've heard you're a playboy. I've heard you've you've been chastised by some women there, You've had a wandering on high. Is that accurate? Yeah? But I've never been caught, and I've never been caught red handed with my my handed jar yeah, I never never. Yeah, I've never been caught. More about circumstantial evidence that has led me on the

out and out, but never never red handed, thankfully. So I was able to maneuver and talk my way out of some traffic at times. Yeah. But they do say though, the more you talk, the more it's an indication you're lying. Right, Yeah, But when you're younger, you're more likely to believe some of the ship that's out there. So I had the gift to gap early on. And you know, don't forget I was a young buck staring down the barrel of

Chief Gason. So whenever I got trouble with the Chief, I had to make sure I was like locked down, like believable, convincing eye to eye contact, never wavered. Uh. So I w was a I was a tactician back in the day. So you're telling me that the chief being your father allowed you to become a better manipulator because you had to get around a man whose job

is to figure out whether people are lying. Yeah, I mean, you know, obviously him being in the household, it was my way of sharpening the knife right, like I had to. I could sharpen the knife and and use those skills there that I could use it on anybody. It sounds really bad West of the four oh five, Need I say more? Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart

Radio app. All Right, Barry from Nashville says, yo yo mom, Benny, And that has yet to pick up, Barry. I know you want people to say that when they call up Yo yo mom, Benny's yet to happen. Hopefully, will he says, if the Clippers win the NBA Championship, will you commit two gascon that you will celebrate by cooking the Tomahawks steak? Yes,

very if the Clippers. When the Clippers win the championship, when they come back against the Utah Jazz, here and win the championship and then knock out the Suns in the Western Finals and take down the Brooklyn Nets. I will cook the tomak steak, and not only will I cook it, I will video it and put it on social media so you can see me cooking and eating

said steak. I have a invested I have a vested interest now in your Clippers, because I actually made a wager last weekend with a Fox Sports radio colleague that the Clippers will beat the Utah Jazz and if they do, I get a steak dinner. Who did you bet? I bet George Rice stir Oh you did? I did? The

weekend guy. Yeah, So I said, hey, he bet Dan Buyer couple of weeks ago about the Clippers and Mavericks, and uh Dan wanted himself a steak dinner for him and his wife, And so I said, hey, the application of this bet has to be the same. So if the Clippers win, I get steak dinner for myself. And in a plus one said all right, and if you if the Jazz win, you have to get him mistake dinner? Is that? No, I gotta buy him an expensive bottle of champagne or wine. So well, you're coming out ahead

on that. You're just gonna go down to like the store and get some you know, two buck tchuck. No, no, he mentioned the wine. I don't know, don't he mentioned the alcohol. I don't know what kind of it is. But I did the price check on it last week and it's it carries a hefty price tag. How much is it? It's like close to three bills three? Oh my god. So if the Clippers lose, I'll need some

scratch from you. Yeah, yeah, checks in the mail. Carlos in Houston says, since you're putting all these doctors on your podcast, what are the chances that you put Doc Mike on your podcast? Also? Where can I get that Ben Mallard tune with Jay Scoop and Just Josh. Well, Carlos, I know you're off social media right now, which is problematic, but both Jay Scoop and Just Josh are on Twitter. So if you get like a burner Twitter account, they'd

be more than happy to share that. You can get copies of all those songs from Jay Scoop and Just Josh. And also raz Quit the band from Minnesota. He's put all his material on YouTube, so you can find that stuff is there there as well. And I have recommended putting Doc Mike on the podcast, but I've I've gotten pushback from someone I don't I will not say the person's name, but he lives west of the four or five who has taken an anti uh Doc Mike position. I said, why don't we just put some of the

callers on. We'll learn about them. We did a very popular series during COVID, which was the Power Hour, and very well. We learned about Doc and Cowboy and different people. And uh so you've been against that though you've been against that. You feel like they're below you. You'd rather talk to reporters from BuzzFeed and other people. Yeah, doctr

sad Uh. It's a tough time because when you have people on that go on your radio, the problem is that many people don't want to listen to people with lisps or talking through that one hole in their mouth with no teeth. Like I don't want to invest in indentures for these people. I don't want to have to guide them to the phone to you know, direct them how to dial up the internet and things of that nature. It's really yeah, I don't like associated with those kind

of people. If you get what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, what what you're saying is, you're basically announced, I'm an asshole, and I want just in case you thought I was in an asshole, let me criticize and did detigrate, you know, just myligne. Uh you know people and uh, you know, just let's just say how weak they are. And there below me there the holy piloy they you know, the flotsam and jetsam of society. And you know, I'm a I'm an aristocrat, I'm a robber baron, so I am

better and so these people should be killed. Yeah, well I'm not killed. That's a little dramatic. But you know about what Paul we we can put on. I'm a pilot. I'll I'll allow him to come onto the show. How about that I'm a pilot first, Tammy, second, Queen Rock Sand third um and that I think I'll do it. Yeah, that's that's What about What about your guys Terry in England,

who's also a toe sucker for you? Terry sleeping during the times that we record the show so I can't disturb him, was peacefully sleeping in that way, Oh you know his sleep schedule Wow, he really are you are tight with him? I don't know the listeners sleep schedule. That's wild. You just admitted you know a grown man sleep schedule. That's embarrassing. Though I know your sleep schedule, so that saleh hell of a live. Well, yeah, we worked together, but you know we don't work with Terry

and England. My god, it's embarrassing. It's wrong with keeping the form relations man United States in the UK A strong as ever. Yeah, I am all about giving back. I'm a man of the people, all right. I'm not below that and I'm blue collar all the way. So I would you have the blue collar radio guy. I would love to put more listeners. Doc Mike would be great, a moving man. Matt who hates your guts, he would

be wonderful. Christ and Houston. He can tell us how much he hates when we put these these political type guests on and all that, and can complain and whine and belly ate about all that and tell us how wonderful Houston sports is unless it's not all right? Uh. Next one from Kyrie in Oh Casey says big Ben the goat, What is the origin story behind you hating ranch dressing? Which is the greatest condiment, he says, of all time. Why do you hate it so much? And

not to leave you out gag on? Is there any condiment or sauce that you despise as much as Ben hates ranch? He says, Thanks for all the love every week my by reading my questions, I run around the house telling my wife, kids, and mother in law and playing the question for them every singing, well, God bless you, Kyrie, and really God bless your wife, your kids, and your mother in law for having to put up with you so so a good job by them. But the short answer,

I'll go first to your guest guard. It goes back to my childhood and my first and only experience with ranch dressing, where I realized immediately through the palette of a child that this was the devil's blood. And anybody with a discerning palette will tell you that ranch dress seen is not only disgusting, it's putrid. Right. It tastes exactly like it should because it is halfway rotten milk. That is what ranching. You're consuming halfway rotted milk. You're not.

You're not consuming some fresh thing. It's it's half rotted. Why would you want to take that particular item. And you know, if you take it out of the fridge, by the way, and and you smell it, and the fridge it smells. And my wife has ranch dressing, it smells up everything. It's it's terrible. And yet over the last almost thirty years, ranch dressing has been the most

popular stud dressing. Now, I was told by some of the restaurant business the reason that started being the number one condiment, like in the Midwest and whatnot, is because it was so cheap. They mass consume it. They you know, make a lot of money. And then the other thing is like blue cheese dressing, which sucks also, right, which is a little more flavorful than rance dressing. But the point is that people, a lot of people in America

have really bad taste buds. So that's the point. What about you, guescan, what do you anything that you despise? I think blue cheese I despise. Uh. But on the other side of the spectrum, I don't know why. I love taryaki sauce on just about anything. There's a there's a spot in in Torrents or Guardina and um it's kind of like ln L l N l Hawaiian Um.

It's called the Loft and Ben. They would serve these giant plates of grilled chicken taryaki with white rice max salad, and then these fat French fries and man, I would dip my French fries into the taryaki sauce. It was that good. And I haven't I will put taryaki sauce on a lot of things. They put on the max out and put it on the rise Mac or teraky sauce. It's got a lot of steam to it. Yeah. No, I'm a big chariake sauce supporter. I'm an advocate of

the Teriocy sauce. I don't eat it enough, but it's wonderful because it's mostly sugar. That's all you do. Now. I just want to point out that as we are recording this podcast in the new studio that we're using for the next couple of weeks. There on the podcast, uh, the wife overheard my anti ranch dressing rant and she is she's decided. My wife has pushed back here with ranch propaganda and she's giving the talking points of the cult of ranch dressing, and she says, she just sent

me a message. She says that ranch can be made without buttermilk, which, uh, it's not really ranch dressing at that point. And then she's also said buttermilk is what is left over after butter is turned, and she screamed. She wrote in all caps, here you eat butter? Should I contact the divorce attorney? Guest, do you think this is worthy of divorce cords? What do you think? No? But I think she's gonna cut you off for sex for a week. She's also threatening me, Guest. She says

that I am not getting out of this. She said. She likes to say she's a stage five clinger. That is the come hell or high water baby. Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly, all right, we have more questions. Steam in winthrow Massachusetts rights and he says, which happens first, Cam Newton frowze a touchdown or Tiger Woods gets another rent a car. I'm gonna go Cam on that. I think that's a rhetorical question. Let's see David from Simpsonville, South Carolina as

a question for Gascon. He says, would you consider being the bachelor or beyond the bachelorette? For both of you? What sized T shirt do you wear? As well? Man, I could never do on a those show. The only show I would ever consider doing, and I don't know if you remember this, but it was like late nineties or early two early two thousand's was was Temptation Island. It was on Fox too for a while. Did you did you ever watch that? I saw a few episodes.

I vaguely remember the show, but yes, I've heard it. I think I've used that reference in monologue, so when I talk about free free agents, I'll say Temptation Island. Yes, that show was so good. So for people that don't know remember that show, I believe it was at least I think it was ten couples. It was ten couples, and then they would have ten single men and ten single women, and you'd be off in paradise for an extended period of time, and the couples would split and

they'd go off with the opposite sex. So women would be with all the men, and the men would be the Obviously, the men that were relationships would go with all the single women and they would just be parting it up. And obviously the idea was to see who would break in the relationship and who would play on. That's the only show I think dating wise, I would ever go on that was an awesome That's that's appropriate that you would pick that show. All right, who else

do we have? I buy my my T shirt size. I could wear an XL, but I'm more comfortable in a two x L. I like it a little baggy. I don't like the thin fit and the skinny fit, and then I need the key thing. This is a problem with T shirts. I've seen some really cool T shirts online that I'd like to get, but I need tall size. I need a tall size because I cannot wear a regular size because it just does not fit properly. Yeah, we're we're extra large, just a regular you don't need

a tall size. Someone asked me that the other day about you, and I said, I think he wears a triple X because I didn't know the demand mentions. I did wear a triple X, but I don't wear a triple its two X. I can get by with a one X as long as it's not like a skinny one X. Yeah, I didn't know how they made those because you're what six five? Yeah, I'm in that in that area. And yes, so I didn't know how they made their shirts that way. In terms of just the

length on them. So like there's some websites that come out across they have like really cool shirts and that I'd like buy a bunch of them, but they don't have tall sizes, so I'm like, can't buy it. It's like I'm not gonna be able to wear it. So what's the point? Fred from Spring Texas writes and deep in the Heart of Texas, He says, do you were David have any food phobias? Uh? Yeah, I don't know if it's a phobia, but I have taken a strong anti seafood position. Um, I just I want no part

of it. I don't eat um, you know, pig pork. But that's my parents fault because I didn't do it as a kid, and I've just gotten to this point now. It's like I don't drink coffee because I've never had coffee, so it's one of the things I can can brag about, so I don't. I don't eat a lot of seafood, and I particularly do not eat eel. I tried eel once and it was awful. It's really the texture, right, the texture that's the problem. I would think, Yeah, I

haven't gotten a squid or a lot. Yeah, I haven't gone a that stuff, but mostly like you know, ahi, some tuna, some scallops a little bit. Yeah. But by the way, we have a studio audience here. By the way, guesst On, my studio audience informs me that may or may not be the wife that my food phobias include, um, eating meat on the bone, which is accurate. I do not like wine cheesecake, and I also I do have

a phobia with tofu. I do not like tofu, not like the texture of So this makes this makes sense then, since the tomahawk is burning in your freezer and your wife has negated that that and for some time too. So but wait, but wait, there's more, guests gut, I also did not do not like under cook Hamburger. So apparently I have a lot of food phobias that I did not realize. But a voice in my head, the peanut gallery the upper balcony is filling me in on all the phobias that I did not realize. I have

you know what, I don't eat it. I don't think you do either. Spam. I do not eat spam. Don't eat spam. Also don't like soft tacos to me that I should just see the burrito. Anti salad. Also, I'm anti salad. I do not believe in eating salad. I think that we should not kill plants for human consumption. I think it's wrong to kill vegetables, and I support the life of vegetables. I think they should grow, you know, lettuce should be able to grow and live a nice laugh.

And I think it's it's really evil of human beings to have vegetable farms. It's it's as bad as the chicken farms. So you should just not eat any of that stuff. It's it's just bad. And the morality of these vegetarians to think that, to somehow that the vegetable doesn't have feelings. Fuck them. How do they know. They don't know. They've never been lettuce, they've never been tomato. They don't know. The other thing I have a phobia with is that will I hate and I will not

never eat it again. I will never eat cold chicken tenders. I will never eat cold raising canes. I will never do again. I will never beat cold raising canes. There's a way to avoid that, there's a way to wat it. It's it's if you go to a party, and the party starts at seven o'clock, And if you show up at ten o'clock, you're probably gonna get cold chicken. If you show up at seven thirty, the food will be so'll be hot. If you show up at eight o'clock, the food will will be fresh. If you show up

at ten o'clock, probably not gonna be fresh. I'm just throwing it out. There is a you know, common courtesy. Yeah, I had other social obligations to attend to. Yeah, alright, Uh, let's see here this one from Ravvy in Dublin, California. He says Ben in Gascon, I have been listening to the Ben Mallard in the fifth Hour for a couple of years now. Both are very entertaining shows. Uh. And he says, I know David gifted find meat for you in your birthday there which Ben has not yet cooked.

Considering how popular Ben is, I was wondering, I sent a couple of handmade character boards, wooden knife, and a page long handwritten letter over a month back. It's an an unattractive Amazon reused box, so nothing perishable, but any possibility have been opening those gifts in one Uh? He says again love the show. Uh yeah, Rabbi, thank you. Everything's messed up right now with the mail. Uh And I have picked up the mail a few times. I'm actually not in the main studio because of you know,

what's been going on the last year. I will be going into the studio actually to night, so I hopefully will be able to pick up some of the mill I knew. I do appreciate it, and uh, you know, I'm pretty bad about that. I try to give shout outs when I can to people. Uh. And I should we should just do one podcast where I just thank everyone. Guess to thank people. It've been very generous. I mean we we don't get paid a lot of money. You get paid peanuts guest count. I get paid chicken feed.

But you know it's for the podcast. It's it's more. I call it a labor of love GUSTCN because if it was, if it was anything else, we wouldn't do it. Uh. And so that's the deal on that. But I do thank you, Rabbi, and I look forward to I've not gotten your gift yet and it sounds sounds wonderful. I'm I'm looking forward to that. I I can't wait to see what's in that letter? So I do thank you. Rab Richard in Iowaw, Tennessee. I think that's how you say it. E T O w A H. Have you

ever heard of that? No? I have not. I don't even know it's a real place. But he said, he that's where he lives. He said, is when will that west of the four or five douche gag on bitching? Stop bitching about the Tomahawks steak? It's getting old? Yes, John who sent that? That's Richard Richard. You're a dick. I think he is a dick. That's why all right, Wizard Wizard from Indiana. Wizard from Indiana says, I've enjoyed the show for years. Who's going to coach the Pacers?

So that's a sporting question. Uh, I don't know. Terry Stotts, Mike D'Antoni, some retread coach. That's usually how these things work. There the Pacers hired a newbie coach and that lasted one year. You should never get rid of a coach after one year. You've done something terribly wrong. If you've gotten rid of a coach after one year. Marine last one another sporty question. Marine in Boston says, do you think took harassed should retire from the Bruins? Man, we

got shelled by the Islanders. They yeah, well, Marie, Marie, keep in mind, you know, I'm not the hockey guy, but I would have gotten rid of two Carass when he walked out of the NHO bubble last year. Like if I was in charge of the Bruins, I would have disowned two Caress because he agreed to go and then he bailed out. So I would have been like, you know what, thank you, don't let the door hit

you in the ass. Is what I hadn't done. They've had to the most volatile goaltenders in league history, Two Carass and Tim Thomas. Like those two guys polar opposites, but man, they they are extremely volatile. But yeah they should be Tim Tim Thomas man, he was one of the originators, right since Thomas back in the in the day with the White House stuff and then that old deal was it's a big deal. Yeah, yes, well, thank you.

That will put the bow on another another weekend. And I do look forward to sending getting the complaints because they'll all be about David Gascon. So if you'd like to send in a question for next week's mail back. Now a programming note due to my schedule. UM, I've got a little bit of a trip coming up, so I will not be in on the radio show the day that we normally record the podcast, so we're gonna

have to record the podcast earlier in the week. So if you're planning on sending a question, I'll probably put something up on Facebook, the Facebook page Ben Maller Show on Tuesday, and you can send a question right now for the Real Fifth Hour, Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. R E A L and then F I F T H ho you are Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And we'll do a mail back next week and we'll have the same amazing content for the weekend. Uh.

So that's uh. That's next week, and I will be making a rare and appropriate in studio appear It's tonight. I will be in studio hanging out with Cooper, Loop, Roberto and Eddie for the first time since my line went down and I had to scramble in there with my no shoes and a rain storm. So it'll be interesting because I will be I will be leaving as you come in a few hours later. UM, and you gonna have a gift. Are you gonna even gift for me? Are you gonna know? But I'm I'm kind of inspired

though by a couple of emails that you've gotten. I might need to go check the mail room right now to go see you. No, no, no, that's a federal crime. That's a that's a federal crime. You know. I can just easily say I'm a part of this production and podcasting team. So if it's sent to Ben, it's sent to me. Um, you know, all right, knocking knocking off, cowboy, knock it off. All right, listen, have a great, great sonde.

Thank you for listening all weekend. As I always tell a friend review of the podcast, five stars, give us five stars. That helps us out a lot and uh mahalo, aloha, shalom, goodbye. We'll talk to you tonight eleven pm in the West, two am Monday morning in the East, The Ben Mallor Show us back with a complete Clipper breakdown, uh and

a whole lot more. We'll get to that then. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the i Heart radio app,