Extra Stuffing

day away. This our Sunday podcast, a spin off of the Ben malla radio show. We tap Dance on the third Rail. We do things we don't do on that show that are only available on the podcast. To us. Here we have a little more freedom. The FCC does not oversea podcast, so we can say bad words, which I'm trying to avoid that as much as I can. But the GUESTCN has no problem dropping a F word

now and again. But not that not that F word, Tom Brandon, and no, no, no, the other F worts the other F word, uh so and in this podcast heard it originally was weekly, just once a week, and now it is morphed into a multiple podcast and I'm excited, guest. We've got some big things coming up that you know in other platforms as well, that will be happening soon, and I'm looking forward to that. Yes, I got I got some new toy. I gotta some new toys, some

new things in the arsenal. I'm I'm looking forward to uh taking those things out of the garage, if you will. And uh, yeah, I think you know, we'll have to have a meeting off the podcast because I think there's something I probably need to get that I don't have, Yeah, that I don't have. How about this? Do you do you have? And I'll be quick with us. Do you have a propane tank? Yes? I have a barbecue propane? So how about you fucking use it and cut that

fucking state that's been sitting in a freezers. It's a hundred you know it's gotta be like temperature. It's too hot. Dude, You want me to sit outside of barbecue in a Are you out of your freaking mind? You walk last week six miles in a hundred degree weather to go take a ship in a vacant park. I didn't get I didn't play when I left, I did not plan on taking that ship in the in the park like that. I did not think I would have the Tennessee Trots,

which is exactly what happened there. That was not my intention. But cheese. There's a difference between walking in a hundred ten degree weather and standing over a freaking barbecue which is six hundred degrees that thing gets up to and cooking it. But you know, maybe I will finally, just so you don't have that to bitch about, I I will consider doing. But we gotta get going here. Guess this is very important this podcast. We pushed some things back. So we've got pop Quiz, the mail bag, b or

Not to Be, and whatever else we get to. So let's start with pop quiz here, and before we do that, cameo dot com, cameo dot com, cameo dot com, type my name in Ben Maller, personalized video message, birthday's, weddings, bar Mitzvah's funerals, pep talks, you name it. I'm there for sex capades, all right. According to research, we do this about more on weekends than on week days. What is it? Drink uh no, smile smile guess guns you smile more on the weekend. What if you work on

the weekend. I got I uh, I used to work on the weekend. I smiled more on the weekend. Of course, I work on the weekend. Like I'm in the studios. I'm working. I drive to work. I make the sacrifice. I drive a long way is away to get to work. So yeah, I smile when I weekends. All right now. People were asked what they would give up for I noticed what you heard. You said, They're dummy. People were asked what they would give up forever if they never had to pay tax. Again. What came in at number one?

There's significant other, So they would give up their spouse if they never had to pay text? Yes, boy, that is a that explains a lot about how you're swinging bachelor there. It could be the dog, it could be a cat. They're significant others a dog or a cat. I don't know if you've noticed. Are you watching beast reality porn? What are you doing here? Yes? I was watching the never mind? Um um, go ahead? What do you got all right? Watching sports? No? Yeah, that was

the number one you would stop watching? Well, this this is been I opening because we've all stopped watching sports for months four months, uh, five months with some of the sports no sports. Actually like four months with no sports. Hundred and thirty four days without the major professional sports leagues. Actually, yeah it was. It was from March. The last were played on March eleven, I like Kings and Ottawa Senators.

That was the last game of professional sports. And then it started on July a. Hundred and thirty four days without sports. The industrial complex of sports shut down, shutdown. We all survived. We're all here, you know, We're still here hanging out, you know, still talking. We still did a daily sports talk radio show. With no sports. We had more people listening during the pandemic, during the apocalypse, uh than ever. It's crazy, all right, experts say, the

smell of this makes you feel happy and relaxed. Flowers. No, it's close though. It's in that John, And this is something I like the smell of a lot. I love the smell of gas, but this is not gas fresh cut grass. That's good. Yeah, it's something like magical about you. When I remember I was flashes back to that I was a kid, a little league, and I remember being out in the outfield because they put the fat kids

out in the outfield. You put the fat kid out in left field and smell the grass and just felt great. It's something fresh cut grass. It's really good. Even of people with a smartphone have this. By the way, I'm included on this. They have a secret compartment for pictures. No, they have a crack screen. Yeah, my screen is cracked. I gotta get a face bucks for an iPhone six. Yeah, there's a spot next to the Geico studios that does it for pop. Is that a good price? I don't know. No,

I don't think so. It's probably more expensive than it needs to be, right, Yeah. L A D l A D screens are are double the price though, so if you're gonna droid, it's double the price. Oh so iPhones cheaper? Yeah? Oh good, Okay, thank you for that. Yeah, I need to get that fixed. About thirty people never experience this. Um heartbreak? Uh no, wisdom teeth? Oh how were you when you get your wisdom teeth pulled? I don't remember.

It's all the same, I you know, I don't I have I just remember having recollections of eating ice cream and things like that, But I don't remember exactly how old I was. Almost sixty. Of moms say this is the best way to discipline their kids. I think this number should be higher, in the sixty percent. I think the moms are doing a bad job on this because moms ought to do better than slapping them. Yes, corporal

punishment to slap got my ass kicked. When I was a kid, I had the one time I had the belt. That's it. But I have the belt. Uh. The answer, though, guests gun is to take away their video games. Yeah, but see, just be higher than six the video this is this is the punishment. But see, this is tough though for parents nowadays, because not only do you need to take away either a PlayStation or an xbox, but then you gotta take away the cell phone, and then you got to take away the iPad, and then you

gotta take away like a Mac or a PC. And I don't know about you, but when I got busted, my parents would try to hide that stuff. I'd find it eventually, but you know, you got you gotta hide alsh it. Need to have a great hiding place, a vault somewhere you can hide stuff. All right. This happens about seventy five times a year to the average household. What is it? I think we might have had this one before, but it's I forgot so seventy five times of your average household. This happens a lot in the

Mallard mansion. But I don't do it. Um toilet flooding seventy five times the other toilet. Uh no, it's you can lose a remote control. You know what happens. You don't have a remote on your phone? No, no, we have the remote with the TV, and uh you use

your phone as the remote? Is that? I don't know, but but I used to have one with my Android and yeah, yeah, I remember when I at Staples Center the I I would sit near the pearly gates at the games there and they it's very hard to turn the chances you would have the remote control and the guy, one of the guys who worked at Staple Center side, you'd be downloads this app. You can, you know, connect to any TV and you can. You can as a remote control. I could never figure it out. I don't

think I had the right kind of phone. I think my phone was too old at the time and it wouldn't work with the phone. But yeah, that's pretty cool that you can do that. But I my trick is and I learned this recently because my lovely wife loves to lose the remote control. I'm gonna put it back the same place. Guy, I'm gonna put it back the same place. Guy. Uh, my wife is not um and so so'll lose it. And last time we're let me. The last time it broke because he got dropped. And

so this is a veteran savvy move. Now a lot of people just go to the story said, well, I'm gonna buy a universal remote. Don't do it. You look up the brand of your television, all right, I've Samsung TV. Like Samsung makes the greatest TV. So I I will go on the internet and go into like one of the way websites and find the remote control that goes with the television and buy a replacement because they I used to buy the universal remote, but they never worked, right,

they were never the same. And if you can find, and you can now because of the Internet, you can find is the exact remote control? What color? What colors are remote control? It's black? Okay, mine's white. I gotta have the white because I'll lose that ship really quick. I do that with my cell phone. Bet on black. Come on, man, what's wrong? With you. Alright, Uh, due to the current pandemic. There is a shortage of this

food item. Did you see this this week? No? I guess the obvious answer would be meat, right, well, it is a meat product, but not that's kind of a general, all encompassing answer. Pepperoni, pepperoni. There's a shortage of pepperoni. I've also noticed the shortage of coins. I've seen more signs recently that they are not a lot of stores.

I go to Walmart, they are demanding that you give of the exact If you pay with cash, you have to give the exact amount of Boy, there's a restaurant I pick up food from they did the same thing. They're like, no, you gotta play with the exact. No, no cash only credit cards. Isn't that bad? Really? All right? The average US family of four will save about four hundred dollars on this activity in compared to last years. It's said more than that's got to be higher than

four hundred. But the answer is birthday parties. Hard to have a birthday party when if you have a party, the mayor of Los Angeles will turn off your power and all that a little difficult to do that all right. It's hard to believe, but two of Americans say they have never eaten one of these. It's a delicious item. I eat this at least once a week, and I've done it for years. Once a week. Yep, um, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go off the A little bit a peanut butter and jelly salvwich. I love the peanut

butter and jelly, but I don't eat that. Let me give you a clue. I usually eat this, not Monday, not Wednesday night. I eat on Tuesday. Tuesday. Yeah, um man, uh do do do do do? Do Do a bagel? Yes, bagel Tuesday, Taco Tuesday. You dummy was Hoco tuo. I thought you save your Mexican food for the weekends. No no, I eat well. I have a usually a two day fast. Sunday I don't eat. Monday I don't eat, and then Tuesday I eat, and then I don't eat on Wednesday.

I eat on Wednesday, I don't eat on Thursday. It was usually how that goes? All right? Yeah, I thought you. I thought you purposely save your Mexican food for the weekend. No no, I eat that once during the week and then I'm usually make some different stuff on the weekends. But how about that two percent of people have never had a taco. That sucks? What do they all live? What are they live in? Like Wyoming? Yeah, South Dakota. I mean, come on, live a little bit. It's not

that hard easy to make. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. All right, thanks to the pandemic, this popular summertime treat is piling up in warehouses. People not eating it. Cotton candy, no peanuts? Really, yeah? Do you think baseball games peanuts? You think all the fairs? Yeah, all that roasted peanuts, you name it. Honey roasted peanuts is a go to. It's like honey roasted peanuts, corn nuts, and

maybe sunflower seeds. Honey roasted peanuts because they're covered in sugar, salt, cover anything. Yeah, this sugar salt fat dimension is good on that. All right. You know the ten percent of people say this is something they never like to do, no matter what, no matter what, brush their teeth flies. No hug someone, I'm a hugger. Yeah you are. I like to hug. Yeah, you're not a hugger. It depends on you're not depends on what she looks like. Wow,

all right. A new survey asked Americans to name one purchase that gave them buyers remorse. What was the most popular answer, An engagement ring, An engagement ring. It's funny. I know, a new car. I was gonna say a car. That's the obvious. So every car that you've gotten, though, have you gotten off the lot or have you bought it used? Well, the last car I got was used. I will never buy a new car, but I always bought new cars. And then somebody took me aside and said, hey, stupid,

what are you doing. You get a pre owned car that doesn't have that many miles on it. That's the way to go. So what is it? It's it's buying a car new and buying a boat. Those are your two worst significant investments. Right. Yeah. I will never drive a new car again unless the people that Premiere Networks decided to give me a Colin Cowherd like contract, and then I will buy new cars. New car. That's all right,

Come on down the showcase, showdown, all right? Last one on popcut of men do this when they're having a bad day. What is it only okay, so it can't be drinking. Now, that's not drink Um. I'm gonna say, pick a fight. It's in that same family, but not pick a fight. It's breaks something, okay, like you know, take a cup and shatter it or you know that kind of yeah, break something. Yeah. Um. So that that's the answer, right, that's the last part. We have a

few study there's a lot of these coronavirus things. You're interested in any of that are You're like, are you over? Are we getting better? No, we're getting dumber. There's a there was a new survey out that found Americans believe people aged fifty five and older made up about half seven point seven percent of the total coronavirus desk. It's actually nine but people below that age are convinced that

it's you know, it's like fifty fifties not. They also found the same study found that Americans believe people aged forty four and younger made up about thirty percent of

the total coronavirus desk. It's less than three percent. Now, it's sad when people young, and there are young people that have died from this, but statistically speaking, it's anecdotal, you know, what I mean, it's it's an anecdotal number, but people you know, can give them the facts and they people can't handle It's like we talked about with the nuance with you and basketball. People can't handle the new once they don't deal with it. There's a reason

why the younger group is magnified. It's it's because it's driven to be polarizing. That if you get someone that's in their teens or twenties that contracts it and dice from it, then that obviously means it's the same as an individual that's in their sixties and seventies. So they want to obviously canvass the scope of Americans dying from this thing. Yeah, and then they're doing a heck of a job. But it's pretting the spreading the word. Now the other thing here, uh, wearing a mask, not wearing

a mask? They said, flying, you know you you have not flown, right, A lot of people have not flown. No one's flying. So there was a study out which I assume was done by the airline industry, but who knows it says, assuming everyone wearing it was wearing a mask, the risk of contracting the coronavirus on a flight is just one in four. The odds are lower to one in seven thousand, seven hundred if the airline has adopted

the no middle seat policy. Well that makes sense because obviously you're having less traffic and less air circulating through the cabin. Let me tell you something, gas Scott, I was an advocate for the no middle seat having that empty prior to prior to co morbidly obese, I had been completely supporting that. And yes, that was that was the dread the dreaded middle seat. When you get on the plane there, Oh my god, that was when we launched what we need to launch in a few months

and we get that big pay day. We can talk about this on a on a flight. Oh is all right, we're going to fight. Let go look, go to Europe or some bullshit, some bullshit like Europe, go to Italy. Hang on if we're allowed to though Americans, I don't know. I'm not allowed right now in Europe. So how many countries are we banned from? Uh? Well, we got New Zealand, we got Australia, and we got I imagine the entire European Union. Right, we'll go to Syria. Are we allowed Syria?

I can't even know if we can go to Japan right now, to be frank, really, yeah, I don't think. I don't know if we can go to Japan. All right? What about China? Ron? And yeah, remember that job you wanted me to go apply for and go to China a few years ago? That would have been It was great, dude, he would have run China. You would be like, he'd be like right there in the comment a little bit shot dead. Oh no, not at all. They would have loved you. Yea. I guess scan was up for a

job in China. Yeah, you didn't you talk to somebody about that, did recruiter? Oh? Jeez? How man? It paid a lot, right, Yeah, it paid pretty well. Go there and do it for a couple of years. You know, why not magnify your name a little bit. You could become like the Stefan Marbury, a broadcasting stefn Marbury failed out as an NBA player, never became as great as he was supposed to be. And then I went to China and they had a fucking museum for him. Remember

that they worshiped him. They genuflected to stef Stefawn Armbor, making some some sneakers in the cheap too. That's right, the starbarrs speaker sneakers. Let's see what else do we have here. We don't have too much time. We're gonna keep the train of moving as they stay. All right, why don't we move on? You want a mailbag? You got be or not to be? Here? You want to be or not to be, So let's do a mailbag first. Before you do that, I gotta give a good shout out.

And I gotta ask you this. Anthony and Anaheim twittered out a picture to to me and a couple other people a few days ago. And I want to ask you if you've ever had this, because we were talking about dessert. I think you and I like a week or two ago. Um, it's a dessert called It's it? Oh? Is that the they used to sell at Dodger Stadium? Is that an ice cream sandwich covered chocolate? Yes? Have you called it a Coola coup? They used to call I think the Coola coup? Yes, that thing is great.

And I I let a campaign when I did the Ben and Dave Show locally. Yeah, I let a campaign because Dodger Stadium changed concessions contors and they got rid of the cool coup the greatest ice cream sandwich. Well, and I think greatest. It's the second greatest ice cream sandwich behind the traditional chocolate chip cookie vanilla ice cream

jumbo sized ice cream sandwich. But that is an amazing treat on a hot summer day at Dodger Stadium when it's like ninety five degrees out and that sun is burning down and you're sitting there and you're burning up watching the game, and you get one of those cool coos. Oh man, now I call it. It is available around here. I don't know if it's national, I don't know about that, but it is available. Yeah, I asked, like Smart and Final.

I think they sell yes, okay, yeah, because he said of getting out in your Belinda, and I'm like, I'm not driving out there for that, but yeah, I think you can get it at Smart and Final and maybe even some Walmart locations in southern California. It looks awesome. That's good sandwich. That's good. Why did he send that to you? That's kind of weird, is he? It might have been because we were talking about Yeah, we were talking about No, we weren't talking about it. Steve Hartman.

Steve Hartman's ex wife, Denise, who's up in the valley. Then she's a smoke show first of all. Second of all, she's an amazing cook. And so every weekend Steve has had his ex wife that he lives with bake something for the staff, like she's made brownies, banana bread muffins and Friday cookies. His ex wife is his together. No, Steve's got a very successful past life. Now our our new life now that he's divorced. But his ex wife is an amazing cook. It's like the stuff that she's

baked is tremendous. So anyway, so she's supposed to be making some some cookies that are are heavily based in in mint. And that's why Anthony had tweeted this thing out because an ice cream sandwich in mint. So oh all right, well that's listen. I love the cool cool that's a good looking sandwich right there at the time. I haven't not had one of those in years. I'm leaning me now, as you know, man, I'm leaning me, man.

But then see, I blame the wife on this because she bought some some clothes that are a little uh lower size, you know, and all that and so so now every time I eat, I feel like, oh, I'm not gonna fit my clothes. I told her, I said, keep my fat close. I'll be back in the my fat clothes. I'll be back. I'll fall off the wagon at some point, I'll be back as long as you're not swimming in your clothes. And it's all good. They don't want him like too baggy on you. Yeah, yeah,

that's true. All right, let's get to the mail bag. These are questions send and remember follow the show, like our our Facebook page. That really helps us out on their Ben Maller's show on Facebook. Like our page, and you can be a contributor. That's really a key part of being in the Mallar militia. Right. You can consume, consume, consume. But the cool thing about it is you can add the content with questions and you don't even have to call in anymore. You can just post things on social media.

So it's kind of cool. All right. So the mail bag also Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com at a little light on the email this week, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. So this one comes from Dolphin Mike who's in Pennsylvania's is my ten and twelve year old sons. I would like to know why you talked for twenty minutes about dropping a deuce on the toilet seat on your number one fifth hour podcast. That's

signed Mallard Troll Dolphin Mike with Dolphin Mike. First of all, you want to you Wanta, You're you're a bad parent. You're a freaking Dolphin fan. All right, that's a bad job by you with the Miami bleep in dolphins. Okay, what a freaking joke that is. And you're gonna that's child abuse because you're gonna force your kids to be Dolphin fans, and I hope they become Patriot fans. Just to rub it in your face, how about that, Dolphin Mike. All Right, you don't worry about my ship habits, Okay,

I mean I am out there busting my ass. I am. I'm relatable like Gascon and these people west of the four or five. Do you think guess Gunn has problems all the time and he didn't talk about this. He doesn't talk about these kind of issues that make him relatable. Every other day he has some kind of diarrhe or constipation or something like that, and he doesn't bring it up. But when I have mone Zuma's arrange, I talked about it because I am relatable to the common man. Dolphin like,

That's why I do it. False fan Jimmy writes in says from Big Orange Country. I says, Ben, do you think now that you have uncontrollable bowel syndrome it is time for adult diapers? Yes, yes, yes, it's only happened twice. I had my gallbladder taken out November three of twenty nineteen, and ever since then, it's happened two times where I've had a little situation where I did not make it to the finish line and I had a little premature

situation that came out there. And so I'll be all right, I I I I just think once in a while, this is gonna happen. This is my new life, and I'm okay with it. I don't like it, but that's just the way it is, so I'll deal with it. I should set up a go fund me account. My wife Will said that I should pack when I go on these long walks, toilet paper, just in case, Just in case. Uh, phil in oswego right, So he says, what is an embarrassing moment in your professional radio career

that you still think about to this day. Shooting yourself ten minutes before a show does not apply. Well, that did happen, as you know, Phil, that's a previous podcast, the Fateful ten minute Clock. And I had to clean up and I had to wash my hands in the washroom and then you pretend like nothing happened and do the show. But I, as a trained professional, I was able to pull that off. But let me think I'll

give you a story, Phil. Years ago, I was doing local radio at Extra Sports eleven fifty, soon to become Sports Radio eleven fifty. Uh, And they had a party for the remember the movie Animal House, old movie Animal House. It's a classic Hollywood classic and Belushi and all that.

So so anyway, this was like the h I don't know, twentieth anniversary of Animal House, and they had a DVD release party with footage that had never been seen before, right, And so they the movie studio hired us to promote the DVD and there was a party with the living actors.

Belushi was dead at this point, but the people that were still alive that had been in the Animal House got together at a swanky bar on Westwood Boulevard, just down from the U c. L A campus, And so we were doing a remote and we were supposed to interview these actors who were not really acting anymore because they passed their prime. But but then an animal house and so I'll never forget the boss, the Great Mike Thompson. He said, listen this to make this promotion really good.

It was the Ben and Dave show. Dave Smith, We're gonna get you guys to wear togas and do the show wearing togas. So I showed up to do the show, go in the bathroom, have to strip down in my underwear, put on a toga. And then he had the idea to try to get some excitement before we started the show, to go out on Westwood Boulevard in the fucking toga and uh and wave at people to to create some excitement. So of course we did, and it was it was

very embarrassing, very remember we were having a conversation. We were like we walked out together, like you were so embarrassed. It was like, oh man, we both want to be in radio. We want to be on the air, and this is what we're doing. This is where we are a fucking toga on Westwood Boulevard. Ridiculous. Was it a windy day? I was evening time because we were doing a night shows like it was evening time. But it was yeah, I mean it wasn't. Wasn't Wendy, wasn't Unfortunately,

it wasn't. It wasn't cold, it wasn't hot. It was kind of mild, you know, a typical Westwood whether as I remember. Did you get hit on by anybody? Oh? God, no, no, please, It's got a very eclectic group of people to hang on that area. Oh, I see what you're saying. I

see what you're saying. Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m. Pacific, uh Pierre in Springfield, Mass Right soon there's any chance that Gagon has any furlough time due to miss the podcast anytime soon, maybe you could bring Eddie off his took isn't go away from the Punk podcast to fill in. All right, whatever you do, don't bring in Finley a k A. Gag On after dark. Well let me answer that question for you. Um. First

of all, I don't make as much money. As ben, so I'm not subject to the furlowing hours that not all of us can make seven digit salaries. Um, so I I do not. And also I I very generously kindly volunteer my time to be a part of this podcast. So I don't think you're gonna find another sucker here that'll do that. So, so, to rephrase with Gascon just said that he's a martyr, Right, he's a martyr, he's the he's the victim. Oh, it's poor me, team play. Oh it's so bad. I'm a victim. I'm a victim.

My God, ever will ever quit with the SOB stories? He asked the question, I'm answering the question, what do you want from man? God? What all right? Moving? Listen? Many people would like Gagon gone, but he's here every week. Carlos in Bang Bang Whistle Whistle, Houston, Texas Home of the Cheaters, says, you've taken a lot of bad financial advice from people. Why don't you take some advice from Gagon? You have nothing to lose. Well, actually I have everything

to lose. I have everything left to lose. So I haven't given you any bad advice. Yeah, I don't know. I actually did talk, I said the other day, I talked to a real financial person, So I don't know. I don't know who everyone's got hot takes. Who the hell knows? Okay, I told you Apple, and we did Apple at the same time and got the same payout. So yeah, I'm actually tempted to sell No, no, no, because it's already gone up, and I believe it was gonna go down once the split happens. My theory is

it's gonna go down. How about that. That's fine, make some money right now, get in, get out. Well, if that's your goal, like if that was your idea to get in and make it was my idea originally. But oh man, look at that. Wow, I don't Another big day today is we are doing the podcast in real time. Yeah, it's shut up like ten percent. It's a pretty good return on investment right there. It's a pretty good return on investment. I'll tell you that. Alright. Let's see here,

I didn't realize. Maybe I'll hold on to it all right, Clayton Wright saying we're doing the mail back Clayton writes, and he says, when you first began fasting, how long did it take you to get a to a twenty four hour fast than forty eight hours. That's a good question, Clayton. I started doing sixteen hour fast, and I went up to eighteen hours after a couple of weeks, and then uh, twenty four. I drink a lot of water. I just don't eat. I feel like if I can fill my

stomach up, it's like a mine trick. I can feel I can feel like I'm full because my stomach is filled with water, and then I don't really worry about it. But the other problem is I'm a type a Clayton personality where I I'm very competitive, which is a blessing and a curse. So I'm like, well, I can keep going. I don't have to stop. You know, mind over matter, if it doesn't mind, If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

So that kind of thing. But my advice is, and you should never listen to somebody on the radio or a podcast on how to do this. You should consult with a professional. But my theory on how to do the fast thing is you start out. It's baby steps. You know, if you can't even do sixteen hours, start out with ten hours, and then a week later cranking up to twelve a week later cranking up to fourteen, then a week later cranking up to sixteen, and then slowly and surely you'll you'll be able to do it.

But you know, it takes I think it's sixty six days, I believe is the number to change the habit. We've talked about that before, according to research, So it takes more than two months before it becomes just AUTOMATICA Well, if you want a couple of quick hacks on this um, there's two things right out of the gate. One is don't eat after seven o'clock at night, and two, try to get eight hours to sleep. So if you're getting eight hours of sleep and your goal is too fast

for eighteen hours, then you're nearly halfway there. Yeah, you're really only fasting ten hours while you're awake, right, So it's yeah and there. So there's ways to get around that. Obviously. What I do, of course, with the four or five hours of sleep makes it the degree of difficulty goes up. GISCA, you cheat, you take? How do I cheat? I have to deal with your dumbass enemy. Photos of delicious pizza, cheeseburgers and all kinds of wonderful food you take and

don't you take some pills. Don't you take some caffeine pills only on Thursday into Friday, because that's the worst. I get like three hours of sleep to to do these podcasts. It's cheating. It's not cheating. How is that cheating? Man? P DS? Yes, all right, Chris in my Cocona Cocona, he says, what is your worst bathroom experience at a game? Can't be as bad as your park story. I'm still

traumatized from Wrigley's p troughs. Uh yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't remember any really bad situations, although at the Sports Arena when the Clippers played there, and they nobody ever went to those games except when they would play like Larry Burton the Celtics, or Jordan and the Bulls, or you know, you Wing and the Knicks and those big or the Lakers would come in with magic in

that group. So whenever a good team would come in to play the Clippers, the Sports Arena infrastructure was such where it couldn't handle the crowd, so the toilets would flow, they would flood, and so you'd be standing there at the trough to do your business or go into the stall and you'd be standing in about an inch or two inches of piss water. So, but that's not really something that I did. That's just what the arena did. And then I also remember when I was a kid,

I was an Angels game. My dad took me to an Angels Tigers game. Tigers has some really good teams in those days, like chet Lemon and Gibson and those guys. And uh, and I'm sitting in the stadium and someone from the upper deck hit through a cigarette and landed on my head and burned my head. But that's not really a bathroom. So I just I just popped into my head for some reason. It's a non sequitary. I apologized Chris and cocon it's a bad job by me. Do you have an answer to that? I guess I

did have one. It was Game five of the Stanley Cup Final between the Ducks and the Ottawa Senators. I don't know what. Maybe my inner fan got the best of me, but I became so sick as soon as the Ducks won the Stanley Cup. Grew up as a Kings fan. Ben I had this giant rush that I needed to go hit the hit the bathroom and it was at the end when the cup was being raised, I raced right out of the Honda Center because I

couldn't deduce there. And I the Honda Center. How it's a line is that there's corporate buildings behind it and on the east side of the building. So I raced into one of the vague at buildings and and flash like a fake badge, and yeah, I was like, man, and I sat there for like twenty minutes. It was if that bathroom was I think that's you're like the Olden Polonies type. That's an Olden Polonies type move, I believe. Yeah,

probably the badge. And I'm a big fan. If you're driving somewhere and you gotta go, you find a hotel. Always find a hotel because they're always hotel lobby. Yeah, well the hotel restrooms are always keeping there, keeping clean keeping plan. So we actually had this conversation the other day that Ned Flanders guy the Quaker oats gut, occasionally works at the company. He loves to drop a deuce at work. I don't understand I complained about this, but

I want to expand on this more. Like to me, one of the cool things about radio is if you do a show it's a three or four hour show, yes, And it seems like most of the people that work in our industry cannot go three or four hours without eating a meal, and also can't go three or four hours without taking a deuce. Somewhere along the way, it is it's unreal. Well, to be fair, guys like him and myself are here for nine hours. So what I can go nine hours with dropping a pool. I'm better

than you. I can contain. Well, maybe not now, but for the balance of my life when I before I became superhuman without my gall bladder, I could do it. Well, it depends on what you eat. But just don't eat. How about that? Yeah? I could do that. Stick I don't. You don't. You don't ship where you make your money and eat which is which is work? You shouldn't eat it work either. I just if you're there for fifteen hours,

that's different. But you got coming into a three hour show on a Saturday, and you gotta eat a meal. I just love how our restrooms have signs on it now that says, please wash your hands and please piss in the toilet. Some fancy instructional how to use the bathroom? Is that right? Is that it's it's embarrassing. The bathrooms. I would have designed them differently, you know, as one person, one customer at a time. Why not have two stalls?

How about that? No guys are messy, you know, you gotta hurdle trash cans and you're in the studio when you're here. Oh, I know. I don't miss that, man, I don't miss the Every Sunday night I would come into the overnight show and it would smell like a rotting dumpster from all the chicken uneaten chicken and the fish meat that people would throw in the trash cans and the rotting vegetables and all that ship and uh

it was so annoying as it was ridiculous. And I occasionally I would do play by play on what people were eating over the weekend in Fox Sports Radio. Yeah, that's pretty good their habits, you know, and what they were doing and all that stuff. So all right, what is next year? Chris from Edmonton says Ben. When you first started doing takes in sports, what was the hardest part of remembering all of the information. Uh, well, Chris, I think I don't know that that's the right way

to phrase it. I think there's an art to learning how to break down a game. So I'm trying to teach Gascon, you know, Gascons, Lebron fanboy, and when I the nuance I have in slicing, I'm very proud of. I learned from some legends when I first started that taught me how to watch a game and what to look for. Uh. I happened to be buddies with a lot of the old stat guys that were doing like Chick Heernstad guy, Vince Scully's that guy, and they told me some things to look for. No, obviously I've taken

that to the next level. Uh with with the way that I break down a game, it's uh, they never went full full rogue, but especially like the NBA playoffs, I'm having fun with that because I feel like I'm really good at the NFL playoffs and fell. You know, I think I think I've gotten decent. I don't be like a narcissist like Gascon, but I work at it, and there there is an art to it to break

it down because a lot of these guys don't. You can tell when they don't watch the game and they just read the box score and uh, big game and I don't watch you all again. I'm gonna say I tell you I do, and I'm I'm a flipper. But if it's a big playoff game and I know I'm gonna be probably doing a monologue on it, like when Lebron's playing or the Clippers are playing or something like that, I I'm locked in. I have laser like focus. I only turn away. It's TNT. I don't turn away because

I love Barkley. At halftime, I'll keep it on there, but I turn away when they do the activism stuff. I'll turn out and go watch a ballgame or something like that, and then because I know it takes about three minutes, and then I'll be back. Um, but really, Chris and Edmonton breaking down a box score and breaking down a game in general, watching it and then knowing what the key parts are that the untrained I would not know that to me is the hardest thing. But

once you learn it, it's on. It's a lot of fun. Have a good time with it. Uh, let's see here. Will says, Hey, I just want to hear all of

your nickname. So Will wants to hear the nicknames you want to All Right, here we go I am known as the spin Master of Misinformation, the bannering Broadcaster, the Beethoven of bs, Curmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of Sarcasm, czare Zany, the dark Night of Weeknights sports Radio, Mogul of mischief, Benny the Brazen, King of Zing, Moneyball Mallard, Facetious Fox, Sultan of Insult and Jumping Jack of wisecrack, Insight of overnight Medicine, Man Mallard, neigh Bob of Negativity, Sage of Outrage,

Pinnacle of cynical, Prince of Prepostors, Professor of propaganda, hazar If I permably, and the mad Hatter of sports chatter. That's only half my nicknames. Gascon, what's that you want? The other half? Okay, you know Gascon called for it. He just send in my headphones. Give me the other half.

I am known as the Baron of Balgladesh, the Big gall Bladder, Bennice, the Menace, Captain needs your General of Degenerates, Tycoon of Tease, Master of Disaster, the Hustler of Philip Buster, night Light of night Life, Pummeler of Producers, Benny Brightside, Manity of Insanity, mark Cony Mallard Emissary of Embellishment, Weeknight win Back, Wizard of Wacky, Slayer of Naysayers, Grant Goober of Gap Tower of Babylon, Honest Adonis, Nocturnal Colonel, the

Underdog of Monologue, and the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. Thank you very much. I'll be here all night. It's a long list of the great list of nicknames, original nicknames. There's other ones that I I left off. If you want, I can give you some of the ones that did not make and prefer not. You've You've done God's work for the day with that. Alright, Well, let you go. You have no nickname. You have one nickname, aggon. You know how how come the butcher Finley has more nicknames

than you? What's up with that? I don't know. There's a reason why he's he's giving himself nicknames. The hell are you talking about? That is true, he has given himself. Well he that's not the buckaroo he earned by uh saying something during a news update that you're not supposed to say in the backwards cowboy right. Uh, yeah, you know I didn't say that. It was something. Yeah, it was a sexual position that Finley thought was a good way to describe the outcome of a game. Bro. It

was a verse cowgirl, I verse cowgirls. So we gave him the nickname Buckaroo. Has Finley said that the butcher because he butchers the show because a twenty minute updates Ned Flanders because he did he didn't know who Ned Flanders was. Yeah, I can't believe that one. I mean, rong Button Bob is probably best one that we get. Yeah, well, that's the great the fact that he's kept his job and be promoted by the company when he shut the

entire thing off. If you don't know the story about wrong Button Bob, Bob Garrett, my old producer, we had some technical issues with the computer. So I said, hey, can you go in the back? Is this hole? To do? You have to walk down the hall, turn a corner, open a door, turn a corner again, turner and walked to the end, turn turn right, holy and so I said, hey, can you reset the computer? He said ye, prop So

he walks away. I'm in the studio getting ready to talk, and then like a ten twenty seconds later, everything goes off. The entire network went off the air, and thus the nickname wrong Button Bob was born. We also found out what happens if we get knocked off the air gas gun you have. It's it's prior programming, right, like it's evergreen programming, but it was evergreen programming from like years ago that they had saved in the queue to play like just generic random rows that they put in there

and play. Maybe we should do that again where they have to play something generic and it's our podcast. It's a great idea that you curse all the time. So I don't know they do commercial airways. We could do like one evergreen hour of generic boring like nine nineties sports talk. You know, they're like FRANCESSA breaking. Here's the Yankee lineup. You've got Jetter leading off. You got you know, knob blocks in the number two. You know you just to go down the list, right, that would be pretty

damn good. Yeah, exactly? All right? So will I give you the nicknames? Trucker Joe double O seven in Pennsylvania. Uh, he's a Twitter guy, says for you and gascon or gagon, big toes or thumbs? Which one could you live without? Oh? I think you would prefer to have if you had to choose, you'd rather have normal thumbs and big toes, right yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's pretty easy, isn't it. Yuh, Although balance is key, that's tough. The thumbs could come

in handy in some area. But I'll go big toes. Yeah yeah, I'll go y'all go big toes. Like if your boxer and you have big thumps, big fat fumbs, you could you can deliver some damage, right yeah. But I mean if you're holding like a weapon, opening a door, trying to crack a can. Yeah, all right, keep you on here, Barry, and Chattanooga says, hey, bet we see Joe Rogan and now Clay Travis making great strides on

web the website arena. Do you wish you had kept your website ben mallow dot com going and any chance you might start one up? Well, Barry, thank you for that. I guess uh, you know, I don't regret getting rid of ben dot com because I was I was working in radio full time at the time most of that stretch, and it just was nonstuff. I had no life other than working. I was doing that seven days a week and the radio going on, I had no social life.

I didn't get much attention at all from the kinder gentler gender because I was working all the time and so that and the fact that I wasn't I had made a decent amount of money. I was working with Fox Sports and Yahoo. But then after that, it's kind of like with social media, the money wasn't really there, and so you know, I was like, hey, follow the money.

But there's there's a guy that one of the bigger name guys at ESPN that I know who every time he sees me, he said, you should have kept the website. You should have kept the website. He always busts my balls when I see it. But I might might bring it back. I mean, if if the radio thing doesn't work out, you know, and that could end at any moment, I could bring back the the website. I know how to do it. It's a lot different now than it was when I did. I think it's easier to do

it now. It's it's harder in some areas, and it's easier in some ways. It was harder. It's harder now because everything is just on Twitter. People don't want to read stories on a website. But I was an aggregate. That's all I did. I aggregated, I put stuff together, and then I had the great thing about being an aggregator in those days is I had people that would reach out to me who actually had information to give me stories because they wanted their you know, whatever their

agenda was to be out there. Tmz Beck. Yeah, I got some of that, which was pretty cool. Uh, let's see here. And then Barry also says, if Brian Finley knows you think his updates drag on, why doesn't he make changes to improve his segments? It's baffling to me. You want to tackle that one, you do not. I cannot speak for the one brand Finley the third rail.

That's the third rail. Jimbo and Rochester sys men, can you add some context to the drop you use on the show with the female broadcaster saying, and here come the special balls, I can't figure out what game she's describing, well, Jimbo, that is uh. Susan Waldman, the Yankee broadcaster with our buddy John Sterling. And if I remember correctly, Roger Clemens

was near some milestone. This is how I remember. I'm wrong, but as I remember Roger Clemens, it was some milestone, whether it was a strikeout or a wind told it was like three wins or something like that, and so baseball made some special commemorative baseballs for that game and for you know, the moment when he was about to break whatever record he was about to break. I think

it was Clemmens. And so when he when he got close to the record, the ball boy would hand to the umpire the balls and so she was so excited, here come the special balls because it was getting close to the re record. So that's the that's the gist of this. A right, that's the that's the gist of this. Uh, let's see here. You want to get to be or not to because I think we're getting little long right now. Guess we did all right to be or not to be? This guest had a coron area this week because for

a few hours, b or not to be vanished. Man, it was gone. It was a moment of silence. Although I will say I appreciate a lot of people actually reached out and sent me snapshots of the Babylon Bee's account being suspended. It was it was great. And then when it got reactivated it had like five thousand followers, so it quickly ramped up right after that though, so they only now they have thousand or whatever. Yeah, yeah,

but they had stripped them of their goods. So anyways, this is an ode to the Babylon be all satire, of course. And these are the five titles Bend that did not make the cut. So we've got five stories, five titles that did not make the cut. Uh. State of California and exploitation of workers for good by banning all jobs. I feel like they have banned all jobs. I don't think that's a that's a sad tire. I think that's real. He can't work at restaurants. You know,

if you're a server at a restaurant, you're fucked. Uh yeah, usement parks, churches. This is some of the guys. Frank in l A Man, that guy, he was a hustler. Frank in l A. He worked at Staples Center, Dodger Stadium, Man the soccer stadium over near where the USC campuses where the sportsman used to be. Uh. And he can't work anywhere. I don't know what. I don't know what Frank's doing, man, but he worked all he worked at Universal Studios. That guy was a hustle. So it is

Austin that sucks. King Newsom won't allow him to hustle, No, Sarah, not in this state. How about this one? Another title that did not make the cut. Ignorant moron who doesn't follow politics is also really happy with his life. Pretty good. That's also true, though you don't followup. Hey, who care? You don't get upset about this nonsense. Another one that did not make the cut. Famed archaeologist archaeology professor fired after photo surface of him wearing a Nazi uniform. That's

an ode to Harrison Ford in Indiana. Jones believer who didn't grow up in Christian culture. Knows nothing about Christianity except what's in the Bible. Another one that did that did not make the cuts. Uh pull finds most Americans would rather jump into volcano of angry geese than watch Democratic Convention angry geese. And then last that did not make the cut, Hillary Clinton congratulates nominees and asked them

to come stand on target underneath precarious dangling piano. Uh decent for the first couple I thought were the best of that. But all right, what do we now? We're getting to meet here? Potatoes? How about this one? Local man in Tennessee Ben is willing to go on the internet to say that Nazis are bad. All right, so local man in Tennessee and willing to go. Uh, let's see here. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say that's the B. Are you sure? Yes? I bet your one for one

al right? After good, I got to be, I got to be. I got an a on the beat. You are not shooting at a Paul George Efficiency clip right now. So it's a good job by you. Second story the B or not to be? Uh, let's see if you're accurate on this one. Media criticizes Trump for forcing them to tear country apart for last four years. Um, well, this is something you would expect to like read on CNN dot com or something I would I would imagine. But uh, I wanna say that that is I'm gonna

say that's the B again. I think that's the B. Are you sure? I'm not sure? I just I don't think that anything. Like the media likes this perception, like they don't attack Trump. They like to live in this parallel universal. They don't take pot shots at the maybe chance they get. But so I don't think they would admit to it, you know what I'm saying. No, No, we're I've seen clips of people on CNN said no, no, nobody attacks Trump here, you know, so I would say

that's a satire. All right, Ben? Your two for two? Yeah, there you go. How about that under the clock right now, so we'll go at a blistering pace. How about this one? Study finds out Democrats lore progressive voters to polls by disguising them as riots. Alright, so they again. According to a study, democrats are luring progressive voters to polls by disguising them as riots. All right, well this has to be that's that's easy. That has to be the Babylon

bi bet your three for three? Yeah, I was easy. Come on, I've already won the game. Alright, sorry, going to go four for four. Internet influencers launch donor sperm giveaway on Instagram. I think the ones. I'm gonna go real on this one. I think this one. And if people do crazy ship on Instagram and the Internet, so I can see some deranged lunatic going down this, I want to say, that's legit. Yeah, Benny, you're actually right

to check this out. A same sex couple launched a program basically hyping up that they want to have a done a donor sperm giveaway on Instagram. It's two women in fact that they announced their partnership with a company a few days ago and they have over two hundred thousand followers with a chance for a vial of donor sperm. Are you in on that? I hope you win. Guess now? Could you imagine how much of that to pay be

great for you? Yeah? All right? Last one, the B or not the B. American airline, not American Airlines, but an American airline is banning a military officer for not sacrificing for the greater good. Uh no, no again, an American airline is banning a member of the US military for not sacrificing for the greater good. Uh I think that's I'm gonna say that's a legitimate ben You would five for five check this ship out. Navy Seal Robert J. O'Neill, who is a member of the former Navy Seal Team six.

They banned him Delta Airlines banning he posted a picture on on his social media account that said I'm not a pussy and not he wasn't wearing a mask on the flight. Oh my god. So Delta investigated and the picture obviously wouldn't viral. They banned him for not sacrificing for the greater good. So the guy that shot Osama bin Ladin is banned from Delta because he did not sacrifice. So he took the original advice from Dr Faucci to not wear a mask, and he got in trouble for that.

Not the change of position. I got you, all right, Uh we ran through the bat or not to be. I know you've got places to go, Gascon and things to do and all that. So we'll put the baby to bed. We'll be back in the Radio Magic Radio Box tonight leven pm in the West and two am on Monday morning in the East, and we'll be back out and talking about all the weekend NBA playoff games, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Have a wonderful day. Thanks for supporting the show, and we'll catch you next time.