Emergency Break

starts right now in the air. Everywhar we are malluviating your weekend away here inside the Magic audio Box podcast Radio, you name it. Thank you for supporting the show. The Mallar Militia has beeneerful. You hasn't been great, The audience bigger than ever. We thank you for that. You've done a great job spreading the gospel and the dogma to other people, getting new people to listen to the show, educating them on how they can find the show, and

we thank you. And also, like I get emails every once in a while, I got one the other day and I wanted to mention this on the podcast from someone who took the Mallard advice. I was. I was slightly tongue in cheeks, slightly not but I was like, hey, you know you've got older parents or grandparents and they got a smartphone, just subscribe to the podcast on their phone. They won't know and they'll automatically download and all that.

And so, uh, some people said they did that. A few people have over the years, and we I got an email from a guy that said he did that. So that was that was pretty cool. But we are here eight days a week, four hours a night on the overnight not enough. And as you know from listening here, the spinoff of the radio show available wherever you get your podcast, and for better or worse, West of the four oh five coming in a man who will have a major medical procedure on his years. We learned that

yesterday very dramatically. David gag On David gascon excuse me that I'm sid about that, but I'd like to let you know that for someone who doesn't give a crap about overpaid athletes millionaires, they can boycott for the next year as well. Uh, just don't give a funk about football, please, that's uh, that's accord to one of your many listeners that's responding to your your shots fired over over last couple couple of days with Twitter and the U NHL,

NBA boycott. Are you quoting now people? Are you shadow quoting people in the mall of militia that are speaking here? Oh no, I just uh, you're you're sitting off certain tweets, and I know exactly what's gonna happen. So it just turned out, Yeah, it just turns into volt I said before hockey shut her down because they had to capitulate.

But but before I was like, wow, I found athletes that actually showed up to work and I was watching hockey, and of course, so that was that was a sign for the angry mob, the ANTIFA crowd to get very upset, and they were. They were annoyed by that, which was pretty pretty amusing. You're you're a real piece of ship. And to think I used to like your show, got another white tone death, middle aged man. I I do,

I do appreciate, and I don't. I hope this continues because it is a badge of honor um and and you know, if you've been in the radio business, and I've talked to my friends around the country that do this, we all laugh at you. Um, I used to listen to your show, but you have an opinion I don't like, and I cannot listen to it anymore. Or you not. Even if I haven't open, you might have an opinion I don't like, and I just can't listen. I I only I am part of this tribe, and I only

want to listen to people from my tribe. I do not want to listen to anyone. I was talking an old time guy this week that I worked with years ago, and he was like, it is amazing. He said, in my life, Ben, when we started out, we were badly walking in the streets because we didn't want segregation. And now it seems like people want segregation. It's it's unbelievable. It is unbelievable. If you have a different opinion, we

want to segregate away from you. It is uh, it is FASCINATY did you back in the day Did you work at all with stephen A. Smith? I knew Stephen A when he was a writer at the Philadelphia Inquire and in his early days on Fox Sports Radio. I have some great stephen A. Smith stories. Yes, stephen A back in the back in the day, Man he was before he became a big rock star at ESPN, because he he actually worked at Fox Sports Radio twice. He was in Philadelphia the Inquirer and he was starting out

in radio. They gave my weekend show on Saturday, I believe was just Saturda Today your Sunday with John Ireland. Stephen A and John Ireland did a radio show. John Islands the voice of the Lakers now and they did a show together Fox Sports Radio and John kind of, you know, taught him a little bit of radio and

all that stuff. And then next thing I know, he like blows up at ESPN and then he got whacked from the ESPN stephen A and then came to Fox Sports Radio and was our morning guy, which no one seems to remember, but he was the morning guy for like a year or two. So yeah, And the reason why I bring that up is because you had mentioned with just dialogue and listening, but one of our our buddies here, Gavin, was telling me that he listens to

the Patriot Channel on Serious XM. And you gotta imagine just with the name in itself, what you're getting in terms of audience and listeners and whatnot. But uh, but he says, stephen A actually calls into that show to talk and I have dialogue on that show. I'm like, well, you know, he's like one of the rare dudes that actually he talks, but he listens as much as he speaks, you know, like he actually has a he could walk

down a two way street. It's not just like his vision or one way, it's it's both ways down the aisle. So yeah, I think that's a lost you know. I also I found fascinating, like my position on this activism is and I have friends of mine that I can't watch sports ben I'm not, and they really aren't like I I've text people. I remember when the Lakers lost to the Blazers in that first game. So I'm going around,

you know, I'm being a total troll. I'm I don't do this on Twitter, but I'm texting my my friends who are a Laker apologists busting their balls, right, because that's what men do, We bust each other's ball. So and I'm getting I had two or three people roll back, I'm not watching. I stopped watching. They put the slogans on the uniforms of the court. I'm out. I don't need to be you know, preached to when I'm watching my my sports and so I was like, I was kind of a buzz kill man, But but I did.

I did appreciate the fact that, um my position on that and it's been I'll talk about things related to the game and the sport itself, but I'm not I'm not going to promote your activism. I'm not gonna give you a megaphone, you know, because that's not what I'm interested and that's not what people that tune into sports radio are interested in. And people get upset by that that I'm not promoting the anarchy and the activism that the leagues are in bed with. People getting upset by that.

What's the logic behind getting upset with that? Oh, you're not, You're you're part of the problem, Ben, You're you're supposed to help get this message out, you know, like like supposed to just whatever they say, we're supposed to repeat. Yes, what's a little saying it's better to be it's better to be well done than well said, Like I mean, how many people out there actually doing ship locally in their community to make it a better place. Well, that's right. Politics,

everyone's worried about Donald Trump. But politics is at the local level. That's where it actually affects your life. But anything you can blame potus for, you're gonna blame potus for. And that's just the way. You gotta have a phone. Guy, guess you're gonna have a foe. Guy, I guess, I guess. I am you know, in the NFL seasons right around the corner for us. But man, I I am, I am curious to see what's gonna happen in November. Yeah, yeah, well listen the the NFL. Wait till they start, you know,

missing NFL games and all that. Oh man, that'll that'll be a big moment. I don't think that's gonna happen. Oh I think you will. I think fifty three man roster plus you get your practice players. I mean at some point, because there's this stuff every you know, it's scattershot.

Every once in a while, there's and there's a country of three eight million people, there's you know, hundreds of thousands of police officers across the country, and there will be situations where people flee from the police and end up getting shot. Uh, And then the same thing will happen. So it'll be recorded on video and then we'll get on the internet and people will freak out and lose their mind and it's not fair and all this stuff, and we'll have the same thing happen again. It's guarantee,

there's no way around it. The math on that, guest Gun. Um. But here's the thing about the whole the police thing. I support the cops and all that, but if you really hate the police, isn't the way to avoid the police not break the law. Wouldn't that be a way to avoid the police interaction? Or is that outraged? That

an outrageous position, guest Gun, No, it's not outrageous. But then someone can make a counterpoint to Okay, well, if they do come there are certain standards and protocols that they should adhere to you as opposed to go into uh to a violent crime and then you feel people feel like, you know, it's uh brutality. So that's the kicker, right, But I know I'm afraid that every time that we have an issue with well an officer involved, if if it meets black versus white, or white versus black, then

automatically it's a race issue. Yeah, that's the problem I have and you know, like I go back to to Jacob Blake a few days ago. You know, I mean, all of a sudden because it was a black suspect and a white officer. Now it makes it a raise this sue. Yeah, but what if it was the roles were reversed and it was white and black, or what if it was Hispanic and black or Asian and black. Yeah, I mean, it's obviously an agenda, and that's the agenda.

And you know, these people, many of them were exposed when you had that anti semite to Sean Jackson who plays for the Philadelphi Egos, anti Semitic football player, and it was just outrageous things that he was putting on there. And all these wokesters that were condemning Drew Brees because he said you should stand for the flag, not a single word. Uh you know, Lebron, I guess he was cuddling with the Chinese Communist leaders over there because he

didn't have anything to say on that. And all all the jocks saw, the athletes that have all the hot takes when it comes to these issues, they suddenly had nothing to say when it came to an anti semite, because that's that doesn't fit the narrative, so they didn't

talk about it. That's the worst part about this, I think is that is that what we're gonna do, though, as as a sports culture and society, is every time that there is a a dispute and an officer involved incident, is that we're gonna just we're gonna drop everything we're doing and and either boycott an event or boycott work or make a stand without Well, it was a lot of the athletes. I here's the thing. When I was around sports a lot, and the athletes were not political.

They weren't well, I didn't give a funk about politics when I was back when I was in locker rooms and all this stuff. I feel like, think like they've been I don't know, I don't know hijacks the right word. But they being used as ponds, you know what I'm saying, Like, like, I don't I don't think these guys really give a crap about politics, but they're being influenced by people to have strong political opinions. Yeah, I'll see there it goes. I think it goes two fold, is that they could

be used as ponds, but it's also profitable. I have some but you know, that's what you're talking about. The top line guy like Lebron that's his Colin Corporative. It is, what's that Colin Kaepernick? Yeah, I guess he's making I don't know, is how's he making his money? Are they people sending him checks because he, you know, sucked at playing football and now he's out of the NFL? Or is that the Nike contract? Oh yeah, you get the Nike endorsement. That's true. But I'm talking about the rank

and file, like the ranking file. You my, that's just in general, right in life, whether you're an athlete or not. Young people don't give a flying you know what about politics. Normally. That's something that happens when you get a little older, you start caring about Yeah exactly, you start caring about politics and that stuff. As you age, the older you get, the more you care about politics. And I don't believe that's changed. I don't think that's changed at all. So anyway,

all right on this. By the way, Cameo Cameo cameo dot com would love, would love to do a video for you if you're interested in that. Pick Brigade Deer General, the malle Militia or if you're just a super fan, what are the heat and silent super fans on? On cameo? You can do that. And I've done all kinds of different things, birthdays, pep talks. I even had a Laker historian who dared, who dared me to give my three favorite Lakers and my favorite Laker team of all time

and and all that, and I did it. I did it for him on cameo. So if you would like something, if I don't talk about your team or your favorite player, and you would like a minimala monologue on something like that, I will do that for you personalized on cameo dot com.

I don't know if I heard a white lie about all this cameo stuff, But is it true that today or tomorrow over the weekend, is you're actually going to put a certain frozen burnt piece of meat on a barbecue and decided to Yeah, I just want to point out that my microphone is better than your microphone, which is which is great, and so just keep talking because it makes me sound better and I like that it does.

And you you know you ripped me. This is all homemade, you know, mom and pop Studio that I'm no, no, this is all paid for by I Heeart Media and w E I that no, no, no, no, no no, this was built all this stuff. I scanned the interweb. I went on radio websites to buy. I have my mixer here, I have my voice processor. I've got my euro rack. I've got all this equipment in here. And you also get your You also get your ring light too. Uh yeah, I have a light with your boy. Let

me tell you. When I did the YouTube videos in the studio, they sucked compared to the quality here. So I think I might just have to stay here at the home. No, no, because the videos are much better here. Yeah, you know, the company wants quality videos. I will have

to continue doing this from the Mallard mansion. I have something to report on that too, because um, all my toys have come via mail and uh, the the operation is is looking to be at full capacity in the next couple of days, so we get to test dress some stuff out. So I think, and I don't know how you feel about this, because how do I feel? How do you feel? How do you feel about venturing off into the wild, wild world of like twitch and YouTube on on a regular basis? Yeah, I'd be be

open to it. I mean, do you get many listeners though on Twitch? I don't know. I think Tony Brunos on there is it Tony do a show on Twitch? I think we should have asked him. I don't know. I'm not a Twitch guy. I don't really know how that all operates all that stuff. So I guess we'll find out if we do something on on Twitch. And uh, yeah, is this a money making venture guest gun? Or is this just a yes for the amount of money and time that was spent er has been spent. Yes? It better?

Here we go, Here we go. Well, I think you'd agree with me that if you're gonna invest some time, you can get something out of it. Right. Well, if I'm doing Twitch, though, the one I need a new background off to go, I have to buy a new banner to decorate the studio. Here great that with a different banner. How much does that cost? I got a green screen h for a D five bucks. It was like an eight two in green screen. But it's nice. It's like pretty long too. How much was it? And

so how does this work? I I've used a green screen wack. You know, I did a pilot. I should talk about this sometime. I did a pilot for Fox Sports years ago, television and we I sat in the room and it was a green screen. Maybe next week we'll tell that. That's a good story. Actually, you just brought it up. Why don't you break it up right now? Then? I'm not gonna I don't want to tell the full story. I don't want I don't want to tell the full story right now. I'm not prepared. But but anyway, I

sat by the green So how does this work? If you sit behind the green screen and then you know, you sit in front. You're sit in front the green screen? Yeah, yeah, whatever, that's funny, mane. She's sit in front of the green screen and then you click a button. It makes it look like you're somewhere else. Is that? Yeah, there's a chroma key that's that's put into the software that you utilize, and it will either in bed an image that you have at stored on your hard drive or something that

they have in stock. Now does this look good? It does? Sure? This doesn't look cheeseball? No, no, no, no no, So what can we make it look like? Can we make it look like I'm in an exotic you know, big city somewhere. Yeah, anything, you send me that information, maybe I will invest green screen. Can you send me screenshots at what it looks like too? Yeah? Yeah, I actually this is I feel like it's a private conversation that we're having on the podcast, right people are

people are interested in this stuff? I think for the most part, aren't they? I don't know that they are. I don't know about that. You don't think. Yeah, I got I got the green screen. In fact, i'll send you a picture of it right now, and it looks nice. But I got the green screen probably like two weeks ago, and I turned the lights out in my room, but there's a little bit of sun that came in and so I could see some fine holes in it. So

I had to send it back. I was just like, man, like, you know, I don't know if the chroma key is gonna make it look bad on the on the on the image, so it just had a precaution. I had to send it on back. But yeah, like that sucker was it's nice. It's it's it's like sixty I think it's six six ft wide and then seventy eight inches or two inches. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, that looks like it would work work for me. I guess see how

it looks. So you need special software in your computer and all that for this to click in on your camera. How's that? I'm looking at a couple of different things. Once free a charge, and another one is a a paid service. But the paid service is cool because it allows you to have graphics. It allows you it actually allows you to embed comments. So if we have people that are on Twitch or Facebook and they want to interact,

I can embed their stuff. Um, and then yeah, I can make it really I can make it really nice. That's interesting. Yeah, that we could have some fun with that, Like every week we could be in a different like a different location. I was thinking of doing that for like Benny versus the Penny. It's like if you had a Marquee game game as we go, because I know, before you cap the game, you're always talking about the broadcasters,

the weather, and the stadium. As I want we park ourselves in front the dog pound, like the dog food at our feet. Yeah, you can have some fun. Every week we could be in a different location. Since we can't have people vote on where in one week we're in, uh, you know, just pick we're in your Boygan. You know the next week that you're gonna make sure that you remove the hats though, because people would tend to get triggered by the hats that you wear for some odd reason.

But oh yeah, as I say yes, John again, you know, I went to check the mail. People have been saying I'm gonna send you a Minnesota golfer set because I don't like that you wear an Iowa hawk. I had yet to get the Minnesota Gopher's hat um and I've had other people complete I am I'm pretty much open to you know, as far as colleges I don't have. I'm a saddleback guy, so anything else is fair game. On that I'm I'm down with it. But uh yeah, I'm not. You know, if you can, you're bishing because

I wear Iowa Hawkeye had every one song. I mean, let's deal with it. But you might need to do something for the gray though. You got the gray is wow, it is like solid macis. That makes me seem when you combine the glasses with the gray and I have the gray hair from doing this podcast with you, that's a that's a good look man. People think that guy

has knowledge and wisdom. You're like gray there, you're like a character from Lord of the Rings, Like all you need is the staff because you just got the gray beard. That's like whiteness. It's like a white like snow. Yeah. Well you're just jealous because you can't grow a beard. That's the pop billy. You don't have the testasterone that

I have, the very masculine beard, masculinity gascon. Alright, so on this podcast, now that we have bloviated and wasted about half of the podcast, We've got Popeye the Sailor Man. We've got that, we have pop Quiz and study this. Let's get right into it. So we begin this part of the podcast. As some of you know, I have

been a maven in the kitchen recently. I have been a legend in the Mallard mansion kitchen on the weekends and um now we usually go out and stuff we can come back and cook dinner or something like that. We have made some very tasty treats in the home kitchen. I am an expert baker, cookies, monkey bread, uh, you name, and I can make that. But recently I've I've crossed over to make full meals with the wife and I am thinking gascon of starting my own YouTube channel cooking

with Benny. Wouldn't that be great? Cooking with Benny be solid uh and uh or Benny's Buffet or something like that. So last weekend, myself and the wife we cooked Popeye's deep fried Spicy chicken sandwichar yes, yes, and guesstcan listen. This was perfection. It was a cold nary masterpiece, this chicken sandwich. It was so good that the wife went on her Instagram page and sent out a photo for the masses to appreciate. It was like fine art. It was like it was like being at a art museum

there and just enjoying. It was visually stimulating, and it was the greatest sandwich that has ever been made in this house, best sandwich I've ever I like, who doesn't like a fried chicken sandwich? This thing is amazing, And we made it from scratch thanks to we actually copied somebody else's cop YouTube video, but we still made it. And you pound the chicken out, gasts, gone pound that chicken right, You pound that out. You mix in. You

got the dry and the wet ingredients. It's all kinds of spices and all that and Cajun pepper and all these different things. And yeah, you dip it and you put the powder of the dry stuff on. You go back and forth and you put that thing into the fryar. And this would have one and I'm not exaggerating this, this rip off Popeye's chicken sandwich would have won a like a backwoods cookout contest. Who is that good? It's amazing, amazing. I'm gonna have to make one for you at some point,

I'm gonna have to make one for you. You're gonna have to enjoy this. It's so good that we're making it again this weekend. We just made it last weekend. That's how good it is. You. Yes, you have a forty ounce. Here we go, Here we go, Here we go. I gotta I gotta disturbing email from from our our fan. I'm a pilot and and he, oh, that guy's back. I'm a pilot. I thought he quit the show. Clar he's just been busy, man, he's been busy. What's he

been busy doing? Picking his nose? What's been doing here? Flying around the world, man, gallivanting around this globe? Man? But I thought the airline industry was in the toilet because no one's flying because of COVID. This guy is a special pilot. So he's a private pilot. You know, he's a special pilot. It's just v I P O, you know. So, yeah, but that's a private v I P. Whatever. I mean, I fly a seven seventy seven with the

minimal baggage. Never, no, no wonder. He and you get along a right, because he's like a one percenter, you're a one p It sounds like so the one percenters all stand united. Right. He's very concerned for the gift that I got you, because he said, didn't I agree that that that that steaks probably burned now it's just burned from No, that steak is fine. Please. I got that thing in February for you, and now all of a sudden it's like August and uh soon to be September. Listen,

I'm gonna eat the goddamn steak. Okay, I'm gonna eat it. Just calm down. It's bad form. Uh. You know, the more you complain, the longer the wait for the steak. I'm telling you, the more that you complain over there, I am going to punish West of the four Old five, and I'm gonna I'm gonna wait. I think you're being lazy about it, not being lazy about it at all. I think I'm excited to eat the steak. I'm looking forward to the anticipations of the kind of like when

you were a single guy. Well, you are single, but when you're out, you know, dating and the when you're meeting meet someone you're interested in hooking up with you, the anticipation is often more exciting than the actual result. No, I don't think so. I usually have I usually pick him pretty well. Oh really yeah, well you know what I hear, at least when it comes to in the bed. What would you want to expand on that, guest, gun, Well, I mean the extracurricular activities is there's there's a good

payoff in that. So yeah, personality background is questionable, but the uh yeah, the love making is a little bit different. So you you find the ones that aren't necessarily on the Dean's list, but they're a different kind of Dean's list. Yeah, yeah, I got you all right? Five very make sicly I was. That was my big accomplishment in the kitchen, the Popeye, the Sailor Manchi. The sandwich was wonderful and I love it. So I have two questions. One is what kind of

bread did you use? We've got barrow? What's this starts with a B? What is it called? I wanted to get Hawaiian bread sandwich bread, but I couldn't find it from Kings Hawaiian. Yeah, that's stuff's like crack. Yeah, you know, they're kind of crack. They got to the to the Kings of wian Uh next to next to me and Torrance other west of the four or five. Yes they are west though, four or five X. That off my list, So okay, use that kind of bread? What about did

you use any kind of sauce, like any dressing? Well, we followed the recipe and the restauran the mayo and all that or whatever they put on the actual I guess there's some hot stuff. I didn't really put the hot stuff on there. But but this thing is amazing. I cannot wait to have it again. It's so enjoyable. It's a great thing. Make it from scratch right there

in the Mallard mansion. Yeah, I mean just it's amazing because usually you guys are are gone on the weekends and traveling, and I mean we're still gone and that's part of the the problem. You know, the steak. You want to grill the steak during the daytime. We're not at home during the day. We're out swimming, cavorting around, doing kind of things all over the place. And you know, sorry, sweet is it's you gotta pack a lot in on the week and don't do a lot during the weeks.

Don't eat during the week. I don't go out during the week. And not to be overly dramatic, but that's that's it. I pretty much work. That's it. During the week, I'm working, and then on the weekends it's like a mullet. My life is like a mullet, right, you know, it's a business in the front, party in the back on business in the front during the week, and then party in the back of the week. Unbelievable. Yeah, it sounds like a good excuse where you can't barbecue during the

week for some odd reason. Well, I barely have time. I don't eat during that I told you that's why you send me the food poorn with the pizza and the burgers and all stuff. I got a better idea now you're eating schedule, so maybe I'll change it, just to to mess with you. I can change all right, Let's get to pop quiz. These are fun questions. We go through as many of these as we can, and I'll ask escon You can play along the bits more fun if you play along. Will go through these one

by one. So legend has it that an animal acting all jumpy after eating this now popular item is the reason that humans discovered it. Say that longer time, all right. So the legend has it that an animal acting all jump at e after eating this now popular item is the reason that human beings discovered what the item was. Do do do Do Do Do Do Do Do do

do do do man, I don't know. Coffee beans. Yeah, animos eating coffee beans and bouncing off the trees, I guess, and they're like, Hey, what the hell's that coffee pick? Get some of that action. Cocaine's a powerful drug, man, all right. A new report claims people who have one of these in their home fall asleep faster than the rest of us. What is it I might have to get this item. I did not have this in the mallar Maine day. I was gonna say a fan um humidifier. No,

a fish tank. Okay, because the water, the sound of the water down the water. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, I had a goldfish when I as a kid. Did did you in the miss when you guys went to Hawaii? Did you guys sleep? Was your hotel? Like, was the inner city or was it on the coastlines? You could hear the water at night? Yeah, well it was right near the water, but I don't remember hearing the water. It was, Well, it's quiet, there's no city. It's all right,

you know, Okay, everything's in the water. Uh. Since the pandemics started, fifty five percent of Americans say they are suffering from this. What is it? Lack of human contact? Uh? No, cooking fatigue? Oh what the funk? You stole one of my fucking stories for tomorrow. Piece of Ship. Well, um, you didn't tell me that this was gonna be one of your stories. That's a good one, though. Cooking fatigue, that's kind of weird, right Yeah, Like, yeah, I don't

have cooking fatigue. I like eating at home more. When I was younger, I when I was in my early twenties, I only wanted to go out and eat. But now like, I like eating at home more. It's cheaper too, and it's you make whatever you want. You're not limited by what's at the menu at a restaurant. You can have whatever you want. No, don't get me wrong. If I go to Tito's tacos, I'll take that every day of the week. But I geographically it's undesirable, and you know

I can't. I can't eat there. The whole rules and all that stuff. So anyway, all right, nearly of women have fallen asleep with this in their hand. Don't be a pervert? Gisgun? Go ahead? Um a uh, I also say adeldo, but I guess I can't say that. We just said it. Yeah, but you said don't be a pervert, and you begin you couldn't help yourself. You immediately became a pervert. A brush, no, a tissue? What? Yeah? Why would that be? That's lamb. Somebody explained that to me.

Some woman explained to me. Why would you fall asleep with a damn tissue? What are you wiping away your tears or something like that? Or what I mean, what what's up with that? Yeah? I don't know. Especially gets stuck in like your pillow and you've got a dirty tissue rolling around in your face. That's I understand that. All right, let's see your page down page. Men are three times more likely than women to do this at home. What is it men of having the kitchen eating? I

was just say cooking. No Ah, you give up drinking milk out of the carton? Well, all right, so when was the last time you drank milk? Man? That's probably like twelve or something like that. I don't know, It's been a lot of times drank milk. Yeah, I never. My family bought in the milk marketing campaign. Milk it does a body good and all that good. But now, but but what about just drinking like lets say it's

not milk. What if it's like juice or something like that, and you just drink, you just go right out of the carte. I do that, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't usually do that. Close to of women have kept this a secret from their husband's What is it their sexual fantasies? Uh? No, a eat car accident that they got an offender bender and they didn't tell their significant other that they got into a litle habooboo, hoping they wouldn't find out interesting. Interesting, All right,

if you're going to eat this for breakfast. You're most likely to do it on a Monday, Monday Monday, a muffin or a bagel. Bagel. No, now, this is something I don't know why anyone would want to eat this for breakfast. I'm repulsed by even bringing it up. Cottage cheese, Oh why no? People put cotege cheese on their bagels all the time. Let's discuss cottage cheese is nasty. I don't. I don't have it unless to have like chicken and rice and some other stuff. I haven't had college cheese

in a long time. Thinking of that gets them right now and have it on Monday, all right. The last American production model to offer this feature was the Chevy Impala. You're the car guy, Come on, car guy. Last American production don't offer this feature, which was a staple in automobiles in America and around the world. Uh, Chevy and paul Um, I can't say, like an anti locking braking system, Nope? The bench seat, oh man, the bench seat Chevy and Paula the last one. I like the bench seat? Yeah?

Those are kid yeah, like synonymous with like the VW bug. Why did they get rid of the bench seat? Why did they say they don't need the bench? I guess economy wise, because then you could flip out those back seats and and make them flat or do one versus like the entire bench. But as far as like the hooking up thing, if you're you know, teenager or whatever and you're messing around in the car, wouldn't the bench seat be better for right? You know what I mean,

like the set up on that. No, my forerunners got that alright. When it comes to raising their kids, twenty seven percent of parents have this argument with their kids grandparents. What is it? Uh? Marriage? No manners? Okay, like the dinner table or you know, just the day to day activity. People complain, all right, that makes sense. I think it's actually higher than you because different generations. Right, you're you

want to raise your kids your way. You don't want to raise your kids like your parents and gets volatile and people act weird. They you know, it's it's anyway, all right? Moving on. Thanks to diet trends, production of this food item more than doubled the past five years. Yes, this is something you I think I believe you eat a lot of I think you eat a lot. I don't know. I don't know, really know. You diet your west of the four oh five, but you west of the four or five? People eat a lot of this?

Is it? Is it jackfruit? No? Jack fruit? Like? Uh, let's see here, I want to take another guess or you want to give up there? And um, I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. All right, that would be almonds. All right, eat a handful of almonds? No? No, I like almonds? Do I do? All right? Percent of people, this is actually incent of people. Never change this about their routine. What is it? Uh? It kind of involves our profession actually driving a work like the route that takes to work. No,

never change the radio station they listened to. That of the audience is a captive audience that they will only listen to that radio station. Come hell or high water? Does your does your car have bluetooth? Yes? So when you drive, now, do you just do you listen to the radio or do you listen to Oh? I I listened on the apps, the audio apps. Yeah, I'm I

listen to everything on YouTube. Now I put the I put my cell phone like in the center console or like right where my sped dominter and the domino are, and I just put on a couple of YouTube videos. Yeah. No, I'll use like I the I Heart app, tune in, you know some of those apps like that, and I'll go through and find audio content that I am looking for when I'm driving. But it's yeah, I don't. I

don't actually listen. The only time I'll listen to the radios and I'm out of phone range and I can't get any reception, then I'll turn on the radio, because what do we have here? We have five seventy, we have seven ten listen to the the two sports stations, and then six forty, which is kf I. We don't forget the Angels station. Oh was it five thirty? No, he's like eight something seventy eight thirty. I think, yeah, this

is fascinating, fascinating conversations. You really helped the podcast. I can't imagine where we'd be without your g Yeah, alright. A new survey asked people to name the most important things you need to have in common in a relationship. Future plans and long term goals came into number one. What was just let's pull out number seven. What do you think number seven was on this list? Political affiliation Nope, work, ethic work all right? Now, do you have your laundry that?

I used to like this when I was dating and women would have a list that you had, you know, the perfect guy, and you had to check all these boxes. It's like a shopping list. I always that never understood why you would do that. But anyway, Uh, yeah, work ethic is a big one. You don't want to be with a lazy slob, right, You don't want to be with someone who's not who's not gonna carry their share and do their thing, right. Yeah. I think I've only

dated one woman that was lazy. Everyone else had kick ass work ethics. Yeah, like strong work ethics, like yeah, all the time, interdependent. Yeah, I've been lucky. How about you know I haven't You know, I have been married for a while. But yeah, I dated some people who were pretty lazy, did you. Yeah, well beggars can't be choosers. But what was number one? Then? What was number one on the list? So I said it was it was plans? It was number two? No, no, that was number one.

I picked number seven. A future plans and long term goals came in, and you have to have good long term you gotta have a long game guess not a short game? Long game? Did did the missis? Can make any if you can make anything up about your long term goal, right you and you can make anything. It doesn't mean you're actually gonna get there. Yeah, but if you put it out into the ether, like that's a little bit different. Like did you have a five year plan with the misses? Or did she give you a

five year plan? Oh, I can't get married or else? Second? Either that or like we need to take a trip somewhere, we need to have kids, or we need to buy a house or anything of that nature. Was there any I mean, she wanted to get Like I knew she wanted to get married, but I don't. I don't know. I don't really respond well to ultimatums, you know, I

don't really respond well to those. Generally makes me run the other way when I when I have that all right, Uh, if you're going to do this at work, the most likely time is Wednesday at three pm. That's for these types. Well what is it? Uh? Look for a new job? No shop online job? Yeah, well that's what you're doing. I know that, all right? Last last one on I don't know, just last one on pop quiz all right, say, new survey found that roughly one in four men would

rather do this is then go on a date. What is it? Um, stay home and play video games? Close they we spend time with your dog. The dog? Yeah, like love the dog. All right, a few more here, we got to study survey this. We'll do a few of these because we're time is of the essence. Here is yet again we have bloviated the time away. All right. So, according to a recent survey, almost half of Americans say they've worn the same pair of underwear for two days

or longer. Guesscan are you this person? No? I barely wear boxer briefs, good commando. Yeah, I mean with with nice jeans always and with workout gear never like I always were, Um, either leggings or the shorts that have like the compression lining underneath them. Oh is that right? Yeah? But yeah, what the fuck? Two days? Well it gets

even better. Of people that responded to this survey said they had worn the same pair of underwhere for more than a week, but that men or two and a half times more likely to have done that than women. Thank god. Uh but yeah, it's I'm thinking back to my bachelor days. No, really, I might have pulled it off. I might have back with my gall bladder. I had my gall bladder back in the old days. Never either type of guy that would shower and use the same

towel over. Yeah, I still do that. Yeah, that's when you should do because I'm worried about the environment, guestcot, I don't want the world to come to an end ten years from now. What if you get a rash from using the same towel. No, I've never gotten right, have used the towel until it becomes crusty and starts smelling, and then you get it washed and and you're good. Sometimes I would like, I guess in theory, you're supposed to wash it once a week, right, once a week

you wash it and all that stuff. But hey, whatever, it's all it's all good. Okay, Well you west to the four or five. Some of us don't have endless towels to use. I just you know, wash the towel and ryet all right. According to a survey commissioned by a a company called Tushy, the average American will spend approximately how much on toilet paper over the course of their lifetime. Oh man, uh, some more than others. I'm probably more of the more of that. Um man, that's

a really good question. How much is our I'm gonna say Costco and a Costa, like about twenty bucks for a big thing of toilet paper. If you get to maybe twenty five five I think is the price for like a big thing. I'm gonna say in a lifetime fifteen grand. Close. You went over, though, so you do not win the showcase showdown. I'm sorry. Eleven thousand one dollars you say it's enough. If you didn't use toilet paper and just use leaves, you'd have enough to buy

a Rolex watch. Oh man, So stop wiping your ass and go buy a Rolex, Go to your local park, ship all over the toilet, and then go save up for that new Rolex. Alright. Scientists have discovered, they claim a prehistoric terror crocodile they're calling it. They claimed this thing grew to be thirty three feet and had teeth that were banana sized, like each tooth was the size

of a banana, and they had that to eat dinosaurs. Yeah, would you want to go back Gascon through a parallel dimension through a warm hole in the Twilight Zone and just observed, if you knew you would make it back, you wouldn't be damaged and just see what the world was like in the dinosaurs. Yes, man, I love Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park was a great movie. Every kid loves dinosaurs, right, you love dinosaurs back in mine is that you have the police and firemen and things like that in military

when you were a kid. Maybe now you hate them. I don't know, but all those yeah. I I the fact that because the Discovery Channel you can see only so much of wildlife and how they got predators in prey. But now that is just on a grander scale with the with the amount of dinosaurs that we had that we're obviously the aerial, the ground and and in the water. I would have loved to be available to go back and during the time and see the dinosaurs roam the

world before their extinction. All right, So we have some some of these that we'll use. These two the animal type study stories. All right, why do birds sing early in the morning? All right? I don't wait wake up to the sounds of birds singing. Well, according to a new study gascon, the reason that birds sing early in the morning is because they are warming up for their

grand performance. A right sounds about right? Yeah. The you know, the researchers from Duke Universities say that male birds spend their mornings practicing. They're singing to refine their vocal cords. Why would they do that because they have a much more important performance later on. Uh. The male birds use the song to attract potential lovers and also to award off rivals. That's good, that's strong. Do you women? Man?

Even in the damn bird community, you got to impress the ladies, of course, I mean even every damn species of women, you got to impress at least in that species. In that species, they're not asking what kind of car you drive? A kind of job you have? Yeah, and how much money do you have? A four oh one? K? Are you a trust one? Baby? Uh? Yeah? What's your what's your father and mother do for a living? Uh? Yeah, okay, yeah, that's awesome all right. Now. We've often heard that the

fastest animal is the cheetah. Yeah, the cheetah is the fastest, and well, hold on hold your horses there, because, according to a new study that recently came out here, the sling shot spotty. You ever heard of the sling shot spider. You have not, well, we might have to change Tyreek Hill's name to sling shot spider. The sling shot spider can launch itself a hundred times faster than a cheetah down.

It creates spring coils in its web, and experts say the design they they're looking at this to improve robots. But they have they created this like spring like web and are able to um to hit speeds of four thousand, three hundred feet a second squared. That speaking of robots, did you hear our guy Elon Musk is gonna be test driving his uh neural link application and in the coming days. I did not Where is he going to be doing that? I don't know. They didn't say where

exactly in this country or somewhere else. It's got to be here, but I'm curious to who that he's gonna be utilizing that on or how it's going to be tested out. Speaking of which, since we've been now, what is the liability waiver that one has to sign to sign up for that? For those who don't know, by the way, Gascon for the uneducated, you want to explain that what is the neural link. It's basically a micro trip for your brain. It's like a supercomputer. And he's

got a bunch of people around him. It's not just him. They they think they can figure out how to rewire the brain. Right if you've got um like was it cerebral palsy, it was a whole list of Alzheimer's dementia as all these horrible things, and again they can reset the brain. How amazing would I Elon Musk would be like Einstein and all that if he has a role in the right, Yes, absolutely change human How terrible is

you know? We have a colleague whose mom is going through through the dimension and all that, and I I have a relative through marriage that is dealing with that also, Yeah, my grandparents. Yeah, if you could reset that, oh man, there's nothing there's nothing worse than seeing someone hammered by dementia Alzheimer's. Like my grandfather passed away in his early eighties. And when he passed the last time, my my grandmother didn't want me to see him when he was sick.

So the last time I saw him was when I was a teenager, and he was in great shape. He was tall, he was a golfer, he played hockey back in the day he was in the military. Uh there was a police officer. But when I saw him on his deathbed, he was than perfect physical condition. Just the mind was gone. And it's fucking depressing because we've talked

about that. Like there's you know, my mom, who I just celebrated this week, I really celebrated, but it was the seventh anniversary of her passing UM and I always, you know, that's the day you always kind of look at you like, oh crap, you know, this is when the world ended for me. This is my my COVID, this was my you know, my end of my But anyway, so I flashed back to that and my mom's mind right up until the end, she was so sharp, but her body failed her. And it was the opposite right here,

as you said, they got your a relative. His body was fine, but it was mine and my mom's mind, and it was I mean, I don't even what is worse is it? I don't know. You can debate it, you know, is it is it worse to have your mind go or is it worse to have your mind there? But no realize while you're trapped in your body that your body's dying and falling apart. And there's nothing you can fucking do about it. Yeah, I don't know, man, A part of me says, I would rather have my

mind gone if I can have my physical capabilities. But the thing is, too is I don't want to look. You know, it's unfortunate. But you know, when we're out and about here is you see people that are are homeless and people that are suffering from mental illness. I mean they're just walking aloof and it's sucking to themselves. And yeah, but on the flip side of that, there's nothing more that I would hate than to become dependent on someone to take care of me, like, hey, I

need you to shower me. I need you to white me, like bathe me, like the whole feed me would be fucking awful. Well, another one is I had he passed away a few years ago, but we had a relative again through marriage that had lou Garrick's oh man, And again that's that's that's the same thing. I mean, your mind is still yeah there, but you can't communicate, you

can't stand up, you're in a wheelchair. And you know, I when I go from my walks, my pilgrimage around the neighborhood, I walked by a rehab like it's not even really a rehab, it's more of like a hospice type thing. And there's guys every once in a while that will be out to try to get some sunlight, and they'll be they appear to have the the lou garrickxon but then you know, they can roll around for

a little bit before it all goes away. And I I always trying to, like, you know, kind of you know, wave at them or you know, you know, shout at something. I know they can't respond, but I think their mind is still sharp enough, you know what I mean, Like I try to let them know, hey, you know, I'm I'm you know, I'm here. I acknowledge your presence, you know, that kind of thing, because that must just be fucking brutal.

You got that You're in a fucking hospice um hospital thing and it's just that because you can see like it's one of those things where you can see the hour glass just drain away and there ain't ship you can do about it. Yeah, very much. Well, this this is taking a turn to the dark side here, very mccob. Way to finish a podcast by you, My god, I was doing dopey animals. Well, here's actually on one final one, can't in it on negative notes. It's just like when

I play basketball, I'm moneyball mallard. You gotta make your last shot. Anybody who plays basketball knows when you go out to the court to shoot the basketball, you've got to make your last shot. Yeah, every time you take your shot, you just say Luca bam who that is? At least he didn't vote to quit like the Clippers and the Lakers losers. All right, Uh, Smiling more often, even faking it, according to a study, tricks your brain into feeling happy. So fake it till you make it, gascun,

that's the key. Yeah. In fact, we mentioned this yesterday about the visit to the neurologist. That's one of the things that they make you do on your physical diet or your physical examination is you have to smile and smile multiple times, seeing brain function and seeing the way that your your face is formed and things like that. Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty good what they say, like because you if you smile and if you say positive things to start the day, that typically allows you to have

a more productive and positive day. Or as conversely, if you go the other way around and there's nothing right or you're thinking negative, then it's hard to elevate your day. What if you wake up and start screaming profanity because I didn't get enough sleep because I had to record a podcast with Gascon and I did an overnight show and I got about three hours of sleep. But if you start out your day like that, listen, asshole, yesterday or on Wednesday, you texted me and it was like

eight o'clock in the morning. Eight o'clock in the morning, and you're texted me with fucking stories. It's like you should have been asleep or finished working out and then crashing it's eight o'clock. It's not normal. Well, way to have compassion, guests gun for my situation here my predicament

typical elitist west of the four oh five crab. Yet again, no, and see you know what, And I'm glad that you reminded me of that because one of the one of the rate the recommendations that I did get from for my neurologists was that I needed to take Sarah some melotonin, serotonin melotonin, and he he talked about them. He talked about the sleep patterns that we have and how you know obviously we you know morning and daytime and night times. But uh, you know he talked about how are I

think it's called like the circadian rhythm. Yeah. Yeah, that's the biggest thing. You gotta get that the deep sleep. Yeah, but the circadian rhythm an hour and a half every hour and a half or something like that, right, you your sleep cycle. Yeah, but see with the melotonin, it gets generated in your body naturally when night occurs, and it stops during the daytime. So like for you, that's pretty rough, given the fact that your sleep schedules absolutely brutal.

So yeah, but here's the problem, all right, And next time you go to the doctor asking for me because I won't go to melatonin doesn't work for him. My wife, though, she's able to take a melatonin and it's like you, she's been drugged sleep for like twelve hours. I take him. I can. I can eat and pop melotonin like Jim ersay in his car with pharmaceuticals and if nothing happens, like and I'll get the stuff at Costco, which I like that that melotonin, it's like it dissolves into your

mouth and nothing. It's just like eating candy because nothing happens. It's very frustrating. I wish melotonin work, but I gotta use the hard stuff. I gotta go to the hard stuff. I gotta use a sleepaide. Get some brand sleepaide. What's great stuff? Don't what me? You? You gotta learn you when you should watch Shakespeare's Macbeth. The milk of human kindness. That's what you need in your life, guesscount clearly that's

what you need. You read, you like Lebron James read you walk around as you use books as props, like at least be more creative, right, like go halfway through the book. I know. The greatest thing about Lebron, though God love him, is he got caught doing the same thing a couple of years ago when Cleveland was playing in the NBA Finals and he had said that he watched was it Godfather? Yes? Yeah, he said he had watched The Godfather like seven times. So somebody, this is

the hardest question Lebron has. Everybody asked. Somebody asked, Lebron, Hey, Lebron, can you what's your favorite scene in the Godfather. Not a lot of people would say the horse said right, like you know that? Or you know there's a there's endless possibilities there, but Lebron couldn't think of one. He watched the movie seven times and you're like, I can't

think of one. And the same thing happened this last week when somebody asked him about the book and he couldn't answer, uh he la, and he said, I just started reading it. Man, it's pretty good. All right, listen, we're done, We're out of here, exit stage right. We got another podcast on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday Funday. I don't know where that came from. Be healthy, be strong, be safe, be good, and we will catch you next

time in the Magic Audio Box. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific,