Digital Poetry

movers and shakers on. We go above and beyond the call of duty as we provide you with marginal podcasting, even on a Sunday. Sunday Sunday, the calm before the storm of the NFL Draft is sure to cause a stir. We're here because four hours a night aren't enough. We do this eight day, do we? At least I do a spinoff of the Overnight Show. We do not have to walk on eggshells here because it's a podcast, not the normal trial and tribulations, the grind of the radio show.

And here we are yet again, and David Gas Scott Box the Sunday Podcast for snicky wrong. Yes, I am back and uh I will open up our mailbag session

for today as I I will hide. Yes, I'm a pilot sent the messages that right, you want to read a glowing email from I'm a pilot who's did not but I did discover yesterday, uh Friday or it's gonna be Saturday, that that you were sam bagging a lot of reviews and comments on the show, and so I had to extract those, put those on my desktop and I am I'm gonna crick kick off the mailbag edition for today's for today show. So this is another we

call this the bow Guard your bow guarding the podcast. Okay, bow guard, there we go ahead, boguards kick this thing off. First of all, Um, title is from Seattle. John. He says, shock jock Radio gave it a try, really hard to listen to him talking about you. Typical shock jock radio. UM can't have its moments. But this should not be a national media show but a local one. This guy's a l a hawk, especially his whole crew annoying. That's from MP dream thirty four. Um, I've been listening to

BED for almost two years. I love the radio show podcast but this fifth our podcast is the best. That is from Vague or Vegan, Mary Mallarin, Gascon or Radio Goal. They must listen to. It's j W I H t X gave the five stars Burner account. Steve from Seattle says right in this review to let the corner office people know I'm listening to the fifth Hour because five days a week is not enough. It's a good one. Um Bill R R l It says, fantastic Gascon is awesome.

Love this podcast, Ben at his best. Um, how about this from B nine O two one ten, A sports supplement for your ears when sports are shut down? Was a word about filling the void. Not only has been and his company filled the void, but their content, whether game shows, cooking, social commentary, and just down to earth people talking about sports in life now have created a listener who is not even missing sports. I'm still amazed at how this show could be filled with entertaining content

while no sports are played. They're feeling these are all old. I mean, these are all you going way back in the hot, tough times. All right, these are sand bags. I gotta acknowledge him. Well, well, no, I mean this is a lie bio mission because you left out. Here's one from John. How about with these? Ben Maller is the voice of the people. Ben Maller is the voice of the people. That is a fresh take, as in John the Jailer as a few days ago, as I continue it says the Fifth Hour is like finding a

twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk. Just great luck that we get more hours of it. Keep it up, fellas um from Rich and Kim. Great chemistry. Ben and Dave have a great chemistry and seem to really enjoy each other while performing on the podcast. Both very knowledgeable and the topics are timely. The conversations are entertaining. Their interviews are always outstanding as well, obviously me asking the good questions you're asking? Is this guy drug? What a terrible show?

The segments are awful. What an embarrassment for Fox? As in Dallas? More monologues, less games from Ragmanlogue Uh never missed podcasts on the Radio Show or The Fifth Hour? Both are fun. Listen to seventy years. Listen to read Everyone I Got. This is not a mailback, This is just reading reviews. This is terrible. How about some brevity? He makes it a little bit of brevity so long winded. He says, p one from Vermont, that's a good one. I'm just please, economy of language. Wait a minute, I

get to please. They wrote this out for us to consume it and to read it. But but they're not on a mailbag. This is not but you're you're You're afraid, you're you are afraid of the questions that are gonna be asked. Wait, why why can we please get to the mailbag? This is not the mailbag. This is you cherry picking random reviews to make you look good and leaving out the ones that say how terrible you are.

Spare you. So I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a little bit of insight into what these questions will be. It'll be from Pierre washing your balls, Pierre trying to fucking scrub your nuts, from Pierre trying to eat your ass, and then from Pierre trying to jealous about water jealous. Just well, how about we find out the questions? How about that? How about wet we find the damn questions out? All? Right? Here we go, uh Andy in Augusta, Maine rights and he says, which were you what were your go to

mall stores? When you were in high school, he says, he loves the show. Well, Andy, I you're back in those days. You didn't have the the videos. I would go to the arcade, uh and they had the hot dog on a stick, they had the the orange Julius. You'd go that did a lot of shopping at the mall was I'm trying to think what stores? What was the the storre still around where they had like the weird products, the weird electrical devices that were kind of you know, you go to the mall. What what's the

name of yah? Drawing a blank here? What city did you go into? What? What mall? I grew up in Orange County, so South Coast Plaza, the Hills down south. There was a mall there, Mission Viejo, places like that. But what's the name of that store? Though they got the weird stuff, it's a chain, national chain. I don't want to say it was like high tech, but I forget I know. Yeah, all right, uh so you nobody here,

what I care about your your stores? I don't think you know you did the same probably yeah, arcades and yeah, all right? What what happened to Kentucky? J and K Mike writes, Uh, I don't know. I hope they're okay. We we love Kentucky J and K. They have not sent a question in a fair amount of time. I hope everything's all right with them. Very kind, beautiful little daughter there. What's that the bourbon? Remember during Oh? Yeah

the bourbon? Yeah he does that. But I I have the Hilltoppers hat in my rotation compliments of Kentucky J and K, and we thanked them for that. But I don't know what happened to them. I maybe they're just listening and not contributing, or maybe they're just not listening. I don't know. Maybe we said Gascon likely said something that annoyed them and then they stopped listening. That's my theory. Carlos in Houston writes in now why does the gascon?

Why do the guests got critics? Why does he criticize your work ethic? Why does guests got criticize your work at? Uh? And he hates to actually show up and do the show. He can't even record a fucking podcast. Doesn't he claim that the podcast is his baby, so he needs to show up every week? Yeah, I guess, Scott, and you respond to sponsor Carlos and Bang Bang Houston. Yeah, this is this is not my baby. It's uh, this thing would be uh, actually, I'll leave that colorful comment to myself.

But now it's not my baby. Interesting, but you would admit you have said things like that, and you like to claim you have some work ethic, but you don't usually show up to the body. My work ethic has never been questioned, never questioned every week on this show. But those are idiots that are questioning it. You included, uh, Carlos, look in the mirror, Buddy. Carlos says, we all know you hate retired numbers, Ben, but are you a fan of baseball retiring number forty two? Now? I wouldn't retire

any numbers. I I would if you want to put the Ring of honor. I think everyone should do the Ring of Honor, and you're gonna have Jackie Robinson and everyone's Ring of Honor. But I wouldn't retire numbers across the board. That's just not not my thing. Is I think it's lame. I think it's dumb. I think it's it's It started out as a nice thing. It used to be done when people would die, athletes would die, while they were playing, you know, during their careers. Now

it's just gotten absurd, so stupid. Berry from the Music City says yo Yo mob Benny twenty two minutes past the hour as I write this, them says, I'm not sure how anyone can dislike Marcel's calls. Well, plenty of people do. Berry. I should show you some of the email like it. Why do you put that guy on? He's a moron? Blah blah blah. All right, uh, he says. The NBA released a statement on the shopping case there in Minnesota and apparently, uh the First Take show on

ESPN spent the entire show on the topic. When do you think this in fusion of politics and sports will be out of sports? And please don't say never, you won't. Well at ESPN, I don't see that changing. I think that's just their business model there. The you know, they're trying to get democratic fans to watch and they don't really care about Republican fans. I think that's pretty obvious. I don't think based on their position politically, I don't think they'll change it. Fox e Tho though, uh no,

you know it could. They could lessen it, but it's hard as we always say, we use the line to put the toothpaste back in the tube, or to unpeel, to unpeel the orange and then put the orange back together. The one they can't unpeel the orange is once you peel that, that's it. Now you can try to put

it back together, but it's not gonna the same. The only unfortunate thing is you get guys that get out in front of certain topics like this, and then all of a sudden, if the roles or get reversed or something goes against their narrative, they're nowhere to be fucking Seen's it's you know, run and hide and don't don't respond. Yeah, that's Lebron, right, that's what Ron does. He just move on. And the greatest example of that was the story with

the tweet the Raiders sent out. He had all this virtue signaling and all these oh I'm offended, Oh my god, I can't believe the Raiders tweeted that out. And to Mark Davis's credit, he didn't bow down to the mob of lunatics cyber thugs. He didn't bow down to him. All the wokesters woke mcwoke and uh, it was really funny. Some hack columnists. Somebody sent the story on NAHU. Some hack columnists wrote a story condemning the Raiders for what they had done, and Uh. The next day, George Floyd's

brother comes out and says, no problem with the Raiders. Oh, I loved it. It was so good. He just buried. George Floyd's brother buried all these these hacks in the media was outstanding. Out body blow, body blow, body blow. All right, Ozzy Momentum rights and he said, so, I want to know what sport you are a hund percent

sure you could beat the other in. For example, Guesscon could be fairly confident of beating being better than Ben at baseball given that disgraceful pitch Ben throughout at Bakersfield. And Ben could be confident that he could beat Gascon at tennis given Gascon's shoulder being held together by duct tape and his petulance for whining. Yeah, well, first of all, you're wrong, Ozzy Momentum about that first pitch. I was

ahead of my time. In fact, that first pitch, that lollipop breaking ball, Uh, was outstanding, and it was stolen by a Minnesota twin. All right, we all saw in Anaheim. While back there Angels and Twins blowout game the great Asta Dio with a fat guy on the mound, and he threw the Mallard pitch, the Mallard special. But let's let's be our guesscon he's a quitter. He he's not a competitie, doesn't have the fighting spirit. I would beat him at anything. I would dominate him at any moneyball.

Mallard from the outside, I'd kill you one on one game of a game of ben I would beat you at that. You wouldn't be able to win that. You have the chances bowling, and no, that's of course I would win it bowling. But football dominate right throw the ball further than you baseball. I'm a football player. I'm a crafty right hander. I'm a crafty right hander. Uh do very well at that. Not hockey. You can't hockey. I would be wonderful. I've been on the ice with

the Stanley Cup twice in my life. I have been there, so that's absolutely something. I've spent time with Lord Stanley Cup, so that thing. But I've been there right when they hoisted the cup right there, and you have no agility, no balance, no coordination, Your sites fucked up. Your hearing is not good to you. My sites? Fine, man, that's good. Called glasses. None of these things called glasses. Maybe maybe bowling, maybe ping pong, but boxing, oh god, you'd have no shot.

You would have no chance in boxing. Oh my god, it would be a blood bath. Dave and Mill Valley, California, right there, just a little bit, just a wee bit, north of San Francisco, says what what what? What are you? What are you laughing? Because San Francisco is a cesspool? Now he lives in Mill Valley, north, this in Marin County. I think, right, yeah, right, all right, Hey bet you often use the verbs hoodwink, the bamboos, al than hornswaggled.

They are three of my all time favorite words. Please list them in order of your preference. Yeah, and he says, I'd also like to know what Big Mike thinks, or you could ask gas Can on the off chance he actually shows up. Instead, Well, it's actually big mix in this week. Uh No, I love horn swoggled. That's my favorite. I don't use it enough. I think it's a fun word. It's a great word. It's an underused word. Hornswoggled. Then it's a toss up a slightly mean two bamboozled, and

then hoodwinked would be third. But clearly the leader in the clubhouse is horns walk. Yeah, it's good, it's solid word. Uh, let's see here. David from simple Sonville, South Carolina says, are there any hats you would be uncomfortable having? San Francisco Giants had the stros about the Podres, and David says, as the hat gifter, I need to know thanks for all the shows. Well, thank you, David. No, I wouldn't be against the Padres thing, but they're blood rival with Dodgers.

It would be inappropriate to wear Padre had But I worked in San Diego and I used to go to Podre games when I worked there, and I loved it. Had great members. Are going to Potre games when there was no one there and they have fire sale And it was Tony Gwynn in the the eight students that were out there for the Padres and but but I had fun members of that. Uh. But no, I wouldn't wear a Giant's hat. You know, I'm really shifted. We talked about this a couple of weeks ago, but I've

shifted more to minor league hats that in college. I like college hats. I like obscure college hats, minor league hats. That's that's really what I'm gravitating too. In any hat with a be on it, any hat with a be on it, or an m I think there's a hat at the studio, Is that right? I think so? Yeah. And I gotta come in there. I gotta get get in there. Maybe i'll swing by. Maybe I will. Have you opened that? I mean, you open all my mail. From what I understand, I could open it. I'll take

a look at it. I wonder if it fits me. I don't open you No, No, don't don't open my mail. You've already opened enough in my mail. John the jailer from alan Town, Pennsylvania, rights scene. He says, been given your vast radio game show experience. Why were you not considered to be the next host of Jeopardy? Just imagine he's easy World where the militia is on Jeopardy. You'd have beer drinking Brian half pint reading video answers, Oh,

that'd be great. A Mallard militia category. I drove a bus around San Francisco, walked on hold to a sports talk radio show. Who am I? You know I could do that? I got? What was it? Oh? You know, here's a good one. I won a radio game show while sleeping. I also got kicked out of my house for shouting on the same radio show. Who am I be a good one? Right? Good? I called up a radio show the night the astro scandal started and said it was all fake and photoshopped. Who am I? Wonder

who that could be? Wonder who that one could be? I once showed up to a B LM rally and shouted the Ben Mallard show at that rally, Who am I? That's one of the greats? Ed from Spokane? Oh God, what a character? Ed and Christina I have not hurt and I called the show this week. I did not hear from them this week. I don't think, unless unless maybe I missed it. All right, who else do we have here? Let's see page But I should be a Jeopardy host, although I got people from Jeopardy sent me

a cease and assists, so I don't think they like me. Hello, Lord Ben Jose Right soon, he says, I'm originally from northern California. I grew up a Giants fan watching Will Clark, Matt Williams, Kevin Mitchell, Willy Wagee. He says I moved to Massachusetts. Hey, you didn't mention. No, I don't like the Giants, but my favorite giant of all time. You know who it is? Guesscan favorite giant of all time?

I was gonna say Matt Williams or jeff Kenn. Matt Williams, Doe she I gotta argument with him in the locker. The one is Jeffrey Leonard, the Hackman. Jeffrey Leonard, my all time favorite. Johannt He gave me a baseball when I was a kid. He was playing for the Brewers at the time. But I still still have fond memories of that was one of the great moments of my childhood. I during a game foul ball in the right field corner of the Big A had seats right near the

foul poll. I ran over, fat kid, and Jeffrey Leonard came over, scooped the ball up and tossed it and I caught it, and I was outstanding. I didn't I was worried it's gonna drop it. Didn't drop it. I liked Kevin Mitchell back in the day, I made one of the great catches in baseball history, one handed, bare handed catch Bush Stadium in St. Louis. I don't like Will Clark because he's he was a dick and he he killed me when he was at the Atlanta No.

He was with the Cardinals against the Atlanta Breaks. I had a huge bet on the break for that, he says. As a kid, baseball was my number one football as as a as a kid, football was one. Uh and and two Basketball three? I baseball was when he said, uh, football too? In Basketball three he wrote that weird. Uh, he says, Now football is number one. I haven't watched baseball game in three years. Analytics have ruined it for me.

The same with basketball. Everything is a foul, no defense, and all the players are selfish, soft like gag on you a bad example for kids. That's a good point, Jose. Do you think you'll ever get to that point? PS bring back Brian Finlay? Why that you ruined me with that last line? Uh? Do I do? I Will I ever get to the point where I'll be the bitter, jaded old guy. Uh? I'd like to think that I love sports. It's changed the way I watch sports has

changed with the politics policizing of sports. But no, I not on think it's gonna you know, I'm gonna completely stop. I'd like to think not, but you never know what the you know what the what the future hold holds. And and I hear from guys all the time, and I'm not watching sports because of politics, and I I don't agree with the politics of a lot of these idiots in sports, but I still think it's stupid to not watch. I mean, just because somebody has a different viewpoint.

I just don't like being preached to. I don't care le Bron James is a lunatic politically, that's he can do whatever he wants. But if you're preaching from the bully pulpit, that is to me, that's I don't I don't watch sports for that. So but you know, everyone has the right to have their own viewpoint. I don't don't care about that right to be wrong. Um, but you don't like if if I worked for somebody that I didn't agree with him, I gonna quit my job.

I don't think that's that's how that would go anyway. In any response to Jose is a big fan of your work, he says soft, like a gag on. I don't know what his problem is. You're the problem. Did you kick out Findling or something? We I was he talking about bringing him back? No, I diin't. I ain't know. He's he's a Findley is a stalker. He's a creepy guy. He's like the Deshaun Watson, Oh boy of the radio. That's what I hear. I don't know. That's what you told me off the year? Is that not said that

to you? You told me that off the year. I'm just repeating what you told me. I never have disparaging remarks for for my colleagues here, and that's a line. That's a lie. Nobody gossips more than you. You're like a schoolyard girl. He just gossip gossip. Gossip. People tell me if things. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven

pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Mitch and Fort Collins, Colorado. Ever been to Fort Collins? I have, yes, fan, No not a fan. I like it. I mean I like Denver better, but yeah, Colorado is a great state, alright, Mitch, Right, So, and he says that have you watched the documentary? Assume you have Baseball

by Ken Burns, the PBS documentary. I don't know how I've missed it my entire life, but I watched it on PBS over the weekend. I enjoyed the history telling. I was wondering, you know, what you thought of it, and if you have any suggestions on other cool baseball history books or documentaries that every fan should have in their library. Uh. Yeah, I mean there's a bunch of

baseball documentaries that you know it's hard. Off the top of my head, the Baseball Card one, which is it was made a couple of years ago, exposing the upper deck scandal again opening up a wound. If you're around my age, I don't know how hold your, Mitch, but maybe you're a little younger, maybe a little older. But that was a big one for me. There was a documentary about a minor league baseball team in Oregon in Portland that was pretty good. I saw that. Oh and Screwball.

Remember Screwball? That was the one about Alex Rodriguez and the Biogenesis Clinic. That was a very good documentary. That was a few years ago. And I have a fond memory of the Baseball documentary from Ken Burns. I was working at the Mighty six ninety in San Diego when that came out in the nineties, and I was I was a lowly peon at the radio station, and they felt bad for me because I was I was getting no money and I was a you know, low man on the Total Bowl and they hooked me up with

the Baseball and that was a big deal. I have the I had. I just got rid of it recently. But the VHS copy that's a whole long ago. This was of the Ken Burns Baseball documentary, but it was well done. He also says, Mitch, do you think they should make a sequel to cover the nineties the steroid here, the cheating, as strows, well, that would be great. I I actually subscribe to the doc PBS as like a documentary. I love documentary, so they have a documentary streaming service.

It's pretty much all ken burn stuff, which is cool. And uh, and you know, Burns his great I thought I were trying to cancel him. Weren't they the lunatics trying to cancel Ken Burns? The uh, the woke mob was upset because Ken's white and that's problematic and they

had to get him out of there. And there's a lot of layers though with baseball these days, just the nineties, like you mentioned the ownership that turned a blind eye to that stuff, and then you know the Red Sox one of the World Series, and people are ending the Curse of the banding of the Cubs, ending the curse of the Billy Goat. Well, you could just talk to about Manny and David Ortiz, right, Like those are two guys that were using p E. D s that obviously

helped them get over the top them come. But just just you could do two documentaries, one each on the Curse of the ban Being, which I'm sure has already been done, and then the Billy Goat and or combine those things together. Nome. When I was a kid, I my brother moved to New York when I was in high school, and I went back to visit him. First time, went to a Yankee game at the old Yankee Stadium and they were playing the Red Sox and the Red

Sox weren't very good. But I still remember I and the bleachers because I wanted to be in the bleachers because I had heard things about the bleacher creatures and it was pretty well because there were like women fighting with women in the bleachers. The Yankee state in the game I went to. It was pretty crazy. But now I heard it's all corporate. Now it's all they've raised the prices and everything. But it was expensive then. But

the fans like the Red Sox. Uh anytime the Yankees did anything, and the Yankee Bleacher Creatures were nineteen eighteen nineteen. It was great. It was out standing. Fond memories of that. Emmett, the blind Seahawk fan, this kid is the breakout star. What a wonderful caller he is. He's better than the grown ups and he's only in high school, sixteen years old. This kid really talented. He's going places. Blind him the Seahawk fan says, uh, did you fire Gagon? Yes, we

re hired him, but we fired him last week. Emmett also says, what is the best dish you can make? Well? None, Emmett, none. The Mallard pizza is bone appetite. It is year. But I was so good this. It was so good, you dummy, that I had to eat it fast. I couldn't wait to get it into my mouth. I was savoring every little it was. It was a medley for my taste, Budge. It was so yummy, it was amazing. You're stress eating because you could not get a media credential from the Rams,

so you went home you burned. That is true. But I like, I'm gonna stick into the Rams because they were they were playing the Buccaneers who had Jamis Winston, who were terrible, and they wouldn't let me in. Yeah, the team I I suck up to every night on the radio and giving them publicity, these assholes, and they wouldn't let me in, Like those ship bags in Seattle, the Seahawks, who wouldn't allow me in there either. Um, I guess I'm not allowed at some of these NFL

state I'm banned from me. I'm like Kaepernick, I'm not allowed in the NFL. But uh. But anyway, so I was like, oh, my, a pizza and I'll watch the game, and I can make a better pizza than I can eat Peter Food than if I went to the game. And then I I made a delicious pizza, but I was so in such a rush to eat it because I was hungry. I'd been on a fast and uh yeah, a little little uh mouthfeasance on my part eating the pizzaster burn your no. But I'm a good no emt.

I'm a good cook man. I can make uh like chicken palm en, chicken parma gena. I make that very good chicken fingers. I make a rip off Popeye's chicken sandwich, raising cane chicken fingers like it's all delicious. It's finger licking good. I guess we can use that because camc retired that it's finger licking good. Cheese. I make the Philly cheese steak. That's right. I mean this is some Yeah, I like it. And that's something I didn't really cook

until I got married. My wife taught me a little bit, and I learned some stuff off YouTube. But I was a TV dinner fast food guy before before I got married. So it's only been somewhat recently, the last ten years or so that I started cooking. Great question, Emvalls fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee, says, big, have you ever had a conflict at the Ugly sweater Christmas party that you had to step in between you And has Bella ever bitten anyone? Uh? No, I actually have a great Bella

story that I forgot. Oh, this is great. I'm glad you see you triggered this, Jimmy, Have we had any fights? No, that the closest we came to a fight was a douchebag that showed up and ninety minutes late and complained about the food. That was the biggest asshole. And then my friend already who gets completely wasted every year and starts telling stories of when he was in desert storm and uh, it goes rat a tat tat with it. He makes the fake gun. That's that's about as far

as crazy town as we've gone. He doesn't leave until like three in the morning. Now he's the last one, you know, we have to shepherd him out. He's the last one every year at the Mallard Ugly Sweater party. But the Bella story. So we've been moving some stuff around the Mallard mansion. Again, we'll tell you later why we're doing that. But we're moving some stuff around, like inside and outside, redecorating some stuff, and uh, you know that some stuff was taken outside. And uh, let's just

say that it was it was a night. I was doing the show this week, and I didn't really I hadn't seen Bella the Dog my dog in a while. I have a studio and I do the show and Bella sometimes sits in with me when I do the show. Usually not, She's bored with it. Like every woman in my life. Anybody in radio knows this. When you tell a woman you're dating you're in radio, they were very excited to listen to everything you do for the first like couple of shows, and then about a week later

they never listened again. Happens all the time. So so anyways, like, well, Bella got bored with me. She's so then like it's like two in the morning and I hear this like scratching sound on the door, like the door to the outside from my studio, and so I hear the scratching sound, right, Like, what the fund is that? Is there? Like a wild animal out there? Is I got coyote or a skunk? And I I opened up the door and I don't

see anything. I'm like, whoa, Like I'm in the twilight zone, man, Like what the funk happened, and so like, all right, I go back, I do the show, and then I I wrapped up the show and I'm kind of winding down and I hear it again, and I text my wife. I said, well, there's an animal outside my door and it's I looked at I didn't see anything. What is going on? And she said, probably Bella. I said, no, no, it's not Bella. And I go through the house to try to find Bella. Can't find Bella. So I don't

hear the noise noise anymore. I go back out. I then open the door with the flashlight and there is Bella, freezing her ass off, shivering, sitting by the door, waiting for me to open the door. She had spent all night, probably from like seven o'clock in the evening until two in the morning or three actually by this point it was like three in the morning, uh, sitting outside, And so we almost loved Bella could have run away, she could have been like in another state by the time

I figured out that she was outside. That's my Bella story. How how cold do you think it was? I mean it wasn't that was California cold. I mean, it wasn't like cold, cold, but California. But she hasn't for coats, so she's all right, yeah, but you since she was shivering, Yeah, she seemed annoyed cold and like, hey, asshole, I've been out here the whole time. But in my defense, I had headphones on most of the time, so I couldn't hear it. Got you. Yeah, that's that's that. Kevin and

Kansas says, Hey, Ben as kids, did you? And David he says, this must be a mistake. The best produced, the best podcast co host out there, by that's a mistake. Bam bamming. Uh did you ever have dreams of playing a professional sport when you grew up? And if so, did you have a specific player you emulated? Keep the podcast coming. Oh yeah, listen, I was an amazing basketball player in the Moneyball Mallard originated in the backyard at the Mallard mansion. The hoop there had fun, but I

would play baseball for hours with the tennis ball. We used to play street ball in the neighborhood. And we had in that house we grew up in, we had eucalyptus trees, these giant eucalyptus trees in the in there's like a green belt in the middle of the street, and so it was perfect. The way the driveway was lined up. There were three of these eucalyptus trees, and so we had first base, second base, and third base, each of each giant these massive trees were were and

so we did that. But then I would I was such a loser. I had no friends for a while that I would just for hours throw the tennis ball against the wall and I would imagine, you know, I was you know, any number of players. I would go through the list because I'd watch This Weekend Baseball and

then I was Dodging fan. But I watched This Weekend Baseball and be like, oh, you know, they do some vignette on Ozzy Smith, you know, because he was a player, a big star in those days, and I'd be the Wizard of Oz, you know, and I'd be like, all right, and then I'd make these plays back, you know, going there and and then uh, you know, behind the back throws and things like. I mean, it was crazy. I was good, and obviously football, but football I knew I

was gonna be alignment. So I channeled some of the the alignment of the day. What about you guess, and yeah, I I mean I thought about growing up, I thought about playing outside of basketball. I thought about playing every sport professionally. But I was really good in hockey, but my parents couldn't afford the insurance for for goal equipment.

And then, um, I played baseball in college and football in college, and I thought I was I was better in football, but my dad thinks I had more talented baseball. And I'm left handed and I was a picture. Um but I love. That's a tough racket though, baseball. Man. I had a buddy in high school that was a very good player. And actually the first time I went to a couple high school with the first high school I went to, and he got drafted and he toiled

in the minor leagues. He never made the big leagues, and he was in the minor leagues. He got he got you know, double A. Had a couple of buddies he got to double A. One guy was with the Blue Jays and he was like there. He was their second rated minor league prospect in a ball and he got to double A and he did okay, and then he went to triple and couldn't hit. I just forgot how to hit and then he never never made it. So yeah, I mean I grew up. I mean I

was a huge Broncos fans. I love John Elway, but I'm you know, left handed and half any left hand quarterbacks outside of Steve Young, and so I tried to emulate Shinnon Sharp, you know, as a great ship talker. But he was a was a great receiver even at tight end. I was a better blocker than new Ones. But um, but yeah, man, I Well, the one guy that I remember was was like I kept reading these mythical lumber lumberjack stories about this guy was Tony Manderidge.

Who was this offensive lineman. Well he was. He was at Michigan State and he was the second overall pick. We talked to Ryan Leef the other day, who was one of the great NFL draft bus But Tony Manderish he didn't get as much attention from being a disaster because he was an offensive lineman. But he was drafted by the Green Bay Packers in the late eighties and was who I guess, he was a total fraud. He

was all like a steroid guy and he just couldn't play. Yeah, but I thought I'd read these stories and I believed everything. At that time, I was not naive and Jay and I believed everything I read, and you know, the eyes of a child. I was like, you know, a teenager, and I was like, whoa, this guy is great, you know, highly touted at Michigan State and and this this guy he was in this draft class. Think about the other players that draft had Troy Aikman, Barry Sanders, Dion Sanders,

Derek Thomas, and Tony Mandrich. Who doesn't belong on that list? Man, it's I mean, obviously Derrick Thomas passed away too early, but fuck yeah, he's the only one of those top five picks that did not end up in the Pro Football Hall of Unbelievable. Yeah, and that's the guy I gravitated to right there. That's my guy that was going to be the guy right there that was going to be it. So there you go. Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts.

He says, Ben, do you and the mrs have any attentions of raising offspring or Bella, Gagon and Finley more than you can handle? Well, Gagon and Finley, Uh, they are children. They act like babies. That is correct, Pierre. A good call on that. Ce Pierre has got a very good ear. He knows that you are a childlike. He is a super duper nut hugger of Ben Mallary. He's a quality man. He's a pickle lover and he's quality. He likes pickles. I didn't mean like that pert. Wow,

that guy? Would I know that for a fact? My toilet water is good, Jesus, wonderful toilet water. Murray and Saskatoon writes in so we're both of you. Who was your first girlfriend? And what is she doing now? Also? What did you do on your first date with her? I have no idea, do you? I have not kept track. I guess it wasn't It was like a like a junior high school, like like high school type thing. You know? Is his a casual? And I went to Newport Beach.

That was where he went, the right there west of the four oh five. Wow, wow, Gascan, your first girlfriend? Is she alive or dead? She's probably an older women you were dead the cougars. Yeah, my my first I guess, true true girlfriend. I think she's in New York now and she she's married. No, I probably take some credit to that because I was kind of a shitty boyfriend growing up. You ruined her life. I think so she's

wonderful job she's got. She's got some hate for men now and it was a bad job by me, but she was awesome. I also hate men because of YouTube, so we have that in common. We gotta wrap, we gotta wrap, all right, I'm sorry to Jason and Rocky Man, Virginia, John and Omaha. Who else do we have here? Adrian of the Mileized City Lugo, All you guys, Gascon says he. We gotta rap, so we will not get to any of your questions. And those are all wonderful questions to

be continued, not Lugo. Lugo's question was not that good, so just resubmit your question next week. We're on a tight clock here on the podcast. Do you think we could go on forever? But Gascons west of the four oh five with no work ethic, so he can't go on forever. But if you want to send a message for a future podcast, Every Wednesday we posted on the show facebook page. Ben Mallor Show usually in the morning, sometimes afternoon. Sometimes I forget. It's not to the evening,

but there's a post. You can send a question in. Put your name in city first, and you can email if you are inclined the Real Fifth Hour, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com and have a wonderful rest of your day. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Miller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app.