D.W.I

with Ben Maller and yes, God, David ges Gon. But think of it like the circus, you know, back in the day when the circus was a big thing. You know, you won't believe your ears, not eyes, because we can't see anything. It's it's audio. It's all we have here. But we are built to a maze. So what do they say, come one, come all fun for all ages. Actually it's not really fun for all ages because we

have you know, we have adult content. We're allowed to the curse on the podcast, but we begin to do in The Fifth Hour is on the as you obviously found the show, but it's available anywhere you can get great podcasts. And I heart obviously part of that it's part of the I Heart Podcast network and it's available all over the place of the global reach of podcasting and people checking in and listening all over the place.

So here's the menu. Not to dilly dolly, because we dilly dally at the beginning here, guess hunt and people get very upset a lot of downtime. I want to hear downtime. So we have the menu. At the bistro, Benny's Bistro, who were serving up. We got Uncle Mo, the Bender, zombies, goats, spiders, and lazy horses. Study this which I love because that's just the way I can justify me reading these stupid studies and will debate whether those are legit or not. It's in the bag. Those

are actual questions by actual listeners. That's real content. Pete and Pittsburgh who said that's not real content. That's real, legitimate content that leads to amazing conversation. And don't stick the sports stories of the week and anything else that comes up between now and then. Well, full disclaimer too for our audience. You sound like you're alert and awake. Why well, I mean there's reasons for that. I don't sleep. I believe I am some kind of zombie or something

like that. And my, uh, there's a gardener at the Mallard mansion who has decided that, you know, since he has a regular schedule, he doesn't care that I work overnights. And he shows up and he woke me up. I think I got two and a half hours of sleep. And I'm not kidding. I believe I got two and a half hours of sleep. Uh so I might need to get some cocaine or something like that, but I'm kidding, but you're not. Yeah. No, So it's and so I called you up because you always a bitch and complain

you wine, you have a hissy fit every week. Oh you're very bit uh uh So I say, okay, uh touche, I am up. I will do this. Let's let's knock it out. Called you up and uh, you were not even where you were supposed to be. You were not there now, and then so I'd of wait, and then you got there a little bit before you were supposed to be there, and then I'd wait, Yeah, because somebody else was recording a podcast in this. I mean, we've you know how big I Heart is the Premier Networks.

We have one podcast studio. It's massive. It is a massive company, and we have one studio. That's amazing to me. There's and there's so many people doing these podcasts. Obviously, for I Heeart in the in our facility is one place we can record the podcast. Not that we're complaining, because that would be wrong, and that we no no, no new, new, new, new new, all right, But anyway,

let's get to Uncle Mo. So I have been peppered since the World Series ended this week in the Nationals, my Washington Nationals, my adopted team Natitude beating the Houston Astros. I've been peppered with email with smarty pants saying the Washington Nationals they won ben because of momentum. Now, over the years, if you've been with me on the radio, I have done many a rant, usually one or two a year, about my longstanding position that there is no

such thing as momentum. Uh. And I haven't done one of these recently, but some of the old school listeners remember, and they wanted to bust my balls, and so they have been emailing me, and so I wanted to address Uncle Mo al right, because I do believe there is no such thing as momentum, and I did the Washington Nationals win the last two games? To the Washington Nationals score a bunch of runs after the seventh thinging, Yes, all of that is true, but it does not prove momentum.

And I have said this since very early. I had a epiphany early on in my broadcasting careyer, and it was, first of all, these these terms that we use in sports, and I use some of them also, I'm not against the using them, but I know they're bullshit. But you know things chemistry, momentum, intangible intangibles, veteran leadership, you know, the mentors of sports. All of this is just gibberish. I mean, these these are all things. You know what

they all have in common. Guests, they're all weasel words. Well yeah, they're weasel term. You cannot see them, you cannot touch them. Like if I say, hey, they've got momentum, will show me what that means? Like intangible terms to the Nationals had momentum and then they went back home and they didn't have momentum anymore, and then the Astros had momentum. Why would that be the case? And how do you get momentum? Can you buy momentum? Can you go on Amazon and get some momentum, momentum and all

that stuff. So I mean, it's just it's just bs and I I believe that these games are one based on a number of things, but things like talent, having good players, fundamentals, which means doing the things required taking pitches in baseball, fouling pitches off, also throwing strikes, the basic things the bedrock of these sports that we talked about. Uh. And obviously whoever performs better, but that's not that's something you can actually tangibly look at and see. And momentum

is an illusionary thing. Uh. And I will say that to my last breath on this mortal coil. Uh, it's not real. Um, you know. And now people get confident, and you know, some people said, well that's momentum, not

not necessarily. But you know who I blame for this gasca You blame you blame the suckers out there, well kind of, but I blame the sports writers, the early sportswriters in America, which really set the narrative for all this, Like when baseball was big in the early nineteen hundreds and when there was no television and radio, and they the sports writer was the king there were eight papers in some cities, you know, ten papers in New York and all that, and so they, the sports writers had

to fill a lot of content in those newspapers because that's all people got their Internet. They had all the information from the newspapers, and so they created a lot of bullshit to fill newspaper stories. You know, it's even today we hear how many times you hear, well, whoever's got the most Super Bowl experience is gonna win, you know, all the time every single season. Yeah, defense wins championships unless it doesn't home field advantage. You know, oh, I

believes home field. The one that really drives me bonkers is locker room chemistry. Now you know why that one drive drives me insane because it has no bearing on what happens on the court, or on the field, or on the ice exactly. Like for example, we'll just use the current contemporary example. The Houston Astros had an amazing regular season. I think we could all agree on it. And I don't like the Astros and I like to take my shots at them, but they were the top team.

They won one more game than the Dodgers during the regular season. They had everything going They had found the nectar of the gods. They were dominating. They all seemingly loved each other with their arrogant struts and their high stepping in the flamboyance there. And they were the bad boys of baseball. And they had all the cy young winners. They had the top pitcher in baseball, Garrett Cole justin Verland, or the Hall of Famer Zack Granka Hall of Fame.

They had all these people lined up in a row. Great chemistry. And I promise you, handed God, if the Astros had won Game seven of the World Series, if they had not choked it away and won the game two to one or two to nothing, we would have seen tons of stories the last couple of days here about how well the Astros just had better chemistry than anyone else. Uh well, okay, I wouldn't say they didn't get along with each other, but it didn't matter. It's irrelevant.

You know the Washington Nationals, And now people are saying that about the Nationals, Well, they just rallied together when they fell behind early in the season. They were nineteen and thirty one. That's also bullshit. Uh, it had nothing new with the outcome because nobody would have mentioned that had they lost Game seven of the World Series. So my point is is to sum this upcast gun, because

I know we want to keep the podcast. I'm moving, as they say, but these things, these terms are for the most part, used to explain the outcome of a game, and then they are forgotten when the other thing happened. And I was around early in my career before I became a blow hard talk show host, I was a radio stringer, reporter and radio and I was all I did was go to games for the mighty six ninety in San Diego, and I covered the l A sports scene,

so I'd go, you know, every night. You know, I had no women would date me, so I would go to like Laker, Clipper games, Dodgers, Angels. There was no NFL. What at USC football, U c l A football, I mean literally pretty much in the King's the Ducks. I mean pretty much every night I was at a game. That was my life. I had no I know, outside, I didn't watch television, I didn't watch movies, but I was around these teams. I remember the Clippers because I

even liked them back then. Um, they had some horrifically bad teams that should have been taken with the slaughterhouse before the season. I mean the season turned when they started Game one because they were terrible. That was the turning point the season. But anyway, so uh, they some of those teams loved each other. They're they're the guys hung out together with the other families. They had great quote chemistry unquote. And you know what else. They had

a bunch of losses. They were terrible, They sucked, you know, on the court, they were horrific. But they liked each other. They got along. You know, they had veterans and the young players. And all that is is that's my that's my point. And you gas on our big time play by play guy, and someday you'll leave us because you'd be like the play by play guy for the Memphis Grizzlies or something like that, and you will use all

these terms. I don't think I will. And part of the thing, part of the reason for that is as I think people get confused with a team getting hot and momentum, it it's almost to compare it. It's almost like feeling pressured into doing something like let's say, for example, I'm trying to sell you a car, but you need a car. It's not pressuring you into buying a car. It's more like having a sense of urgency and their point.

It's in a season, whether it's for baseball, football, hockey, basketball, whatever it is, that a team gets hot, but they get hot because things just happen where you get the right shots that go down, you get the right coaching, players are actually making plays. So it's not like these guys are just falling off the map. It's not like the Houston Astros just fell off the map. It's just that they got beat by a better team on that night. And this kind of goes back to what you mentioned

two thousand and seventeen. And he was also last year that the Dodgers were better than the Astros during the regular season and they got beat in the World Series. But that's not an indictment of what the Dodgers did during the regular season. That's just about the Astros making some plays in a couple of games during the World Series that ultimately led to the triumph. When you looked at the runs that were scoring that seven games series,

they're identical. Yeah, listen, I I have long especially in baseball, but like it's much harder to make the playoffs than to win the World Series. I mean, it's much You gotta be good from the late March until October one. You only have to be really good in you know, for a month now you're playing better teams and you gotta have you know, the tunnel vision and all that crap um. But yeah, it's much more difficult. It's a

very random thing. But I do love the tight took a syndrome that we get a lot in these big games. It's just wonderful. The flop sweat, the sweaty hands that happened. You can even go as far as to say stage fright, which I think we've all had at some point or another. So that's good. I mean, the momentum goes as far as you're starting pitching goes, and it was on display during the seven game series when he had Max Scherzer.

Given that is even that is bullshit, because Zach Grinky pitched better than than Scherzer in in Game seven, just because it was until Will Harris came in and puked and that was it. But see, here's the thing though, and this goes back to even the eight eight World Series. Kurt Gibson's home run meant nothing unless there was a runner on board. It was the lock that hurt him. It wasn't the home run to and Mike Davis. Yeah, Mike Davis, he was on board even that, you know.

And I I said this on the radio the other day that I'm convinced the Dodgers I've decided now to this is how I sleep guests gun be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio

and the I Heart Radio app. I've decided the reason the Dodgers are choking dogs in these these big games in the playoffs, this this era is it's still payback for the Dodgers beating that Mighty Oakland A's team that they will sort of made a deal with the devil, all right, and there's some kind of deal that was made and this is the payback, alright. What's not why the Cincinnati Reds have been so banded the last well that and there's yeah, they're still paying for the sins

of Marge Shot, the old owner of the team. I don't think just because Granky won an inning further doesn't mean he out pitchmax shirts or keep in mind Houston only scored two runs, and they had batters that got on board and every single inning until he departed, I mean scattered seven hits in the ball game and want four batters. I think they fell apart. I mean they they had one hit after they fell behind the Astros

that they did nothing right. Julie Guriel had a single and I think the seventh and they went meekly out after that. Ain't nothing. They looked like the Dodgers in a big game. Well no, I mean to be fair of the Dodgers. What the bed in the first ending of that game against the Astros in two thousand seventeen. So anyway, you don't have to remind me, all right? Moving on, the bender, not Aaron bender, not the news bender, not an alcoholic bender as in the Tales of My Life,

a fender bender, guesscan. I don't think you noticed this um, which shows you you're not very uh perceptive, But I noticed it. It doesn't mean I need to post it on social media like you did with my car. Well, I didn't post you weren't in an accident, but I took a photo of your terrible parking a window got show. I guess Mercury is in retrograde. So I actually saved this with the podcast. Did not mention this at all what I've been going through off the radio on on

the radio. So I'll save it here for the podcast. So because this is like for the heart of super fans of the show, this podcast, I mean, you're a different kind of fan. Yeah, you've gone above and beyond just a list of the radio show, but now to download this podcast. Oh my god. So the Mallarmobile, which is right next to the Batmobile and Iconic Automobiles, has been dinged up pretty good here. Last week, it was Friday, Friday evening. I went to have a nice meal. I

went to have some chicken thing cheat meal. I don't eat much during the week, so when I had said, okay, I'll give it a good cheap meal. Uh, And then I went to the store to pick up some bread because I was gonna make something else later. And so I picked up some bread. By the way, is that not the most boring statements? Not that the most grown up thing? I went to the store to pick up some bread, right, Yeah, a Friday night. You just sound

old and right, How dull. Is that you sound domesticated. Yeah, we'll blame my wife. You no, no, your but your wife isn't Your wife isn't a home body. She's like both. She's like a home body and she's not. And you know, she likes to go out and be she's always a life of the party. But she'sn't mind being at home. But the problem, my my wife got me to move to suburbia. You know, I was in the heart of the heart of the jungle, the heart of the concrete jungle there in the middle of the city and all

that stuff. And uh, you know, I about them living, you know, the cookie cutter suburbs right near Vegas, on the way to on the way to Vegas. But anyway, so, uh, they didn't have what I was looking more, here's the kicker. So they didn't have what I was looking for. There's a specific type of role uh that I when I make my cheese steak, my homemade Philly cheese steak, there's a certain kind of bread that I want and I'm

not gonna, not gonna settle for anything else. So anyway, I got in my car, I drive out of the lot at this grocery store and as I am driving towards the exit, I hear bam man, and I'm like, what the fuck? I anything? And this car had backed out of a parking space and slammed the back of my car as I'm driving out of a lot, and so I'm like off, you know, you hear that sound. You're like, My immediate reaction is all right, maybe it's

not that bad. Boy. That sounded bad, you know, And you don't know until you get out of car how fucked up your car is, you know. And I so I'm freaking, you know, I'm like, crap, you know, this is a pain of the ass, you know, the whole thing. And so I got out a car with a woman who hit me. She's got like three kids with her. They're all like young kids. She's freaking out right, she says, I've never been in this. But then the nightmare, you know, the real plot, twist your guest gun, the kids come

out and blame you. No, no, the kids didn't blame me. They were eating like lollipops and uh and ice cream bars or whatever, so they were happy. But she says, I have no insurance. Oh boy, yeah, she's I got no insurance. Oh boy, I said, what the what the hell is that? How do you know how insurance? Everyone's got insurance? I do kaiko commercial twenty times an hour. How does know what? How do you not having sued?

So anyway, I don't have insurance. So okay, I'm I'm on the phone with I called the insurance I have. I called him up. And as I'm on the phone filing the claim, she says, no, no, no, no, She says to me, don't worry. My husband has actually has the insurance. He's gonna take care of it. She's like kind of encouraged me to get off the phone. She was like really emotional. I was like, okay, you know, I felt bad. She's a woman with three kids, you know,

and I guess I have some heart. So I was like, okay, you know, I'll give her a solid I don't want to get her in trouble here. Um, and so okay, I hung up filed before I had filed the report, and then I get the run around from the husband. Uh and he's like, hey, you know, I'm working. You know, I don't have any time, but you give me a few days. You know. He's gave me the runaround. Don't tell me, and he said, uh, I'll get you what

you need door and other stuff. So I anyway, I eventually uh, I went to meet him to get the information. Apparently he can't text and uh. Anyway, it turns out that he did not produce the insurance. He was lying and they didn't have any insurance. And so now fortunately I have liability. We have to pay a deductible for being hit by an uninsured driver. And I still have not had the mallan wibile repaired. By the way, So did you do your due diligence? Did you take a

picture of her license plate? Take a picture her car? Yeah, I have her I have her information, so I have that. But it's a it's a mess. Man. Did you call the police and let them know? I did not, Um, but I have some kind of have a number obviously a phone number for the husband, so I have a way of self contacting. I don't know if it's a hit and run because he did stay. They just didn't have insurance. I don't know your dad would know that.

I don't know it's legal to drive without insurance. That's what I'm thinking, man, You know, I mean you need you need to put the screws to her. And I don't want to. Man, she seemed like a nice person, but I mean, don't hit my fucking car. And and then, uh, you know, I said my first you know, I said, this is great. This is how spoiled I am. When I got out of car, I saw my car was all screwed up. I looked at her. I said, what,

you don't have a backup camera? Oh boy? And she said no. And say it's it's pretty hard to miss your car because you have an ugly ass color on your car. I have a beautiful car. I want you to know that. Steve Harvey, the iconic American pop culture stars, Steve Harvey my colleague, guess who works across the hall from right across the hall for me, I got that. Uh. And he informs me that he liked the color of my car as he was walking to his bent like the car in the parking lot. The car is fine,

the color is fuck. He liked the color of the car and the whole thing. No, no no, no, he's probably do do do do do do do do? He's probably lying to you know. He wasn't lying to me. He was talking to one of his like security guys or whatever, one of his muscle guys, maybe his color blind. Are you taking shots at the great Steve Harvey? Yeah? Four. It's also unfounted, unwarranted, and might I say, unprovoked. How would you describe the color of your car? A beautiful

bluish teal color. It's ugly. It's like it's like three weeks ago when you woke up and you were sick, And every car, every other goddamn every other car is either it's black, white, or gray, red. Yellow. No, I don't see a lot of road it's mostly most cars are white, black, or gray. The most ticketed car in the United States is what color? Well, it's probably red. The red stands out to the eye, red and yellow. I don't see very many yellow cars at all. Corpetts,

Why of call you live? Let me point out right now. Gascon lives west of the four oh five in Los Angeles. Anybody that loves l a west of the four oh five four boogie boe. You are east of the four, it's still boogie east of the four oh five. But once you get past West l A not quite in Beverly Hills, not quite as booze that's that's the way the map of l A breaks down. I live south of the one ten Freeway. I live in the Harbor area. That's where the grit is. That's where the lunch pail is.

That the blue collar workers are. You know what you're in the earth? Your high school fight song was it included law d Doll. That was in the fight song night hyebrow snob all that iron man football is what I played back in the day. Blue collar. My town is made up of doctors, police officers, longshoreman, firefighters, teachers, just great people, everyday people. That's true that people live near you and then you live up in the mountain looking down and spitting on them. Well, that's kind of

like what Harvey. Steve Harvey did to you in your car. Wo be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Steve a tight This kind of goes all the way. And see how this thing goes all the way back to what you did when you defecated on me in my parking spot, and then you started posting those pictures with a dent on the side of my car, and now have a rear window that's blasted out. This comes

back to you. This is all karma for what kind of ship you were talking on your show Money through Friday? So if I hadn't done that, then the woman wouldn't have hit you? Never know? Well I do know. No, if I hadn't decided to go get bread, well, then I wouldn't have had you know, you know I don't feel bad for you. Why not because I feel terrible for me my partner, are you? I think I feel more bad for the woman because she had her Friday night with her kids ruined because your teel car got

in her way. Well, she went to the store on Friday night. How great a night did you to do? What for bread? Run in for two minutes? I was for bread. Well, if you don't are not going out and you're gonna make a sandwich to watch some games on a Friday night, that's how you do it. Games for us on Friday nights are usually at four o'clock or seven o'clock. Yeah, I didn't. I went out like

it was like five o'clock or something like that. It wasn't like it wasn't like ten o'clock at night that it was all right, moving on, dummy, let's go to zombies. Now this is honor. I know Halloween's already happened, but in honor of Halloween weekend, the post Halloween, there was a study done out of the fifty three largest US metropolitan areas, which is the most equipped to survive a zombie apocalypse? Man, Yeah, I threw a curveball at you, and now you're about to say a riva der jade

to that. You don't know what you're You are gob smacked. You don't know how to handle your thunderstruck a time. We'll just pick a city. This is a city you know, by the way, is the city you're familiar with? New Orleans? New Orleans? No, According to this, I'll give you the top three. Number three is Columbus, Ohio, right, Columbus, Number two Salt Lake City, and number one beyond reproach. When it comes to the zombie apocalypse, Adalanto. No Boston? All right, yeah,

Boston is Now. Do zombies exist? The guess do they actually? Um? No, no, they do not, right, So that's that's b s. They do not exist. Are you walking dead? Fan? Uh? No, I'm not you. I used to like the first four seasons, and then it tapered off, and it really how many seasons of The Walking Dead were there? That's still going. I think it's like season eight or season nine right now, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, it was really good to start. The first four four seasons were really good, but after

that it's really faun off the map. So I don't really I'm not a big zombie fan, but I don't know. What do you Harrelson's in that movie Zombie Land. I know you didn't watch that. The second one is coming out. You really have a low inventory with movies, so I really can't dip into any of this stuff. That's why I prefer talking. I have a job, and I work a lot, and I'm dedicated in my craft, and I

don't have as much free time as you. If I had as much free time as you, I just see every TV show on HBO and all the movies, because all I'd be doing is watching those shows. But I actually watched sports that I'm a loser. I watch games. You watch documentaries too, Uh yeah, like one day a week. I'll watch like a documentary a week. That's how I kind of unplugged. And sometimes I don't even do that

sometimes Friday night. Uh yeah, like late though, like overnight, you know, Friday late, sometimes Saturday late when you're on demand or whatever thinking about your den and car? Are you judging me? Is that what you're doing? So, just to add to the list, you're my my life. Apparently this is middle aged. I have had acid reflux, which I'm still dealing with a little bit. I've had my car got smashed. I had a back injury. Am I

missing anything? Gasking on what other te tongue? I bit my tongue and burned my tongue at the same time, and I couldn't talk. I had a lisp for like three days on the radio. Embarrassed myself. That reminds me, come America's sweetheart, is what I am? Well, we need to summon your your hippie wife. I woke up this morning and my knuckles and my wrists were cracking after I washed my hands. No, no, the skin like the Now, well,

she's Mary Poppins. My wife's Mary Poppins. So she's got a bag with all kinds of remedies and all that. She's like Doc Mike, but better looking, you know, and younger. So but Doc, that's true. Yeah, Doc's got a potion for everything and all that. So yeah, uh, let's get to goats, spiders and lazy horses and and I wanted to work in more animal stories, guess on although spiders aren't technically animals and all that, but I figured why not.

So these fires that have been burning up California, it is a yearly tradition, unfortunately, and we are surrounded by them in southern California where you live, and I know our our our studios, the I Heart Media building. There have been at least three fires the last two weeks in that area. It's smelled in the building. Yeah where I live now, Uh, there has been some fires here and they the smoke has been like even with my windows closed and my doors closed, I can still smell

the smoke. It's a big pan of it. But I don't live in the hills, and so there's not that much risk for any kind of real fire hitting the Mallard mansion. But did you see what happened at the Reagan Presidential Library where they almost lost the Reagan Presidential Library. I saw, I actually saw a great picture of Air Force one with a shot and outdoor shot of a fire that was one look from a couple of journalists

that were inside the museum. Yeah, it was crazy. My friend Steve Futterman, the great news reporter for CBS, was there and you know fireman, you know fun any uh So he took some photos and when I saw the TV feed and he said, you know what they said, saved the Reagan Library. If this hadn't happened, the thing would have burned, baby burned. And that's the that's the burial spot of Ronald Reake and the great presidents in

American history. Ronald Reagan bring down that wall and way and I mean it would have burned up the whole thing, all his files, all his records. Anyway. So the thing that saved the Reagan Library goats, five hundred goats. Did you see this? Back back in May, the Presidential Library

hired goats two. They brought him in to eat all of the plants, you know, the kind of the weeds and all that that burned up in these wildfires surrounding the Reagan Library as a preventative measure because of how many fires happened in the l A area, and the goats ate the brush and that created a fire break which allowed the fire department to get a handle on that part of the fire, so it didn't burn down the regular even though it looked terrible, it didn't actually

get as close as as as the pictures would indicate. And uh yeah, and so I have a theory. This is invest in goats and forget Tom Brady being the goat. Let's invest in real goats. So would you write a formal letter to Governor Gavin Newsom to not conduct these power outages just tired goats? Listen? I mean, what do you hop about? Is? And the goats were apparently as a local company. I didn't know this. I didn't know

the goat game. Just some research on it. Uh. It's a company called eight oh five Goats, and they cleared about thirteen acres of land. This guy started his company, last of him. This guy is gonna be so rich. It's phenomenal. He charged about a thousand dollars per acre of land, so he made thirteen rand roughly on this transaction. I want to get paid eight. Yes, we get out of this this stupid radio thing. Let's buy some goat. We'll get a farm and then we'll if I owned

a mansion, all these idiots in Hollywood. They on these hills in the Hollywood Hills, and all these people who you know, I mean, they're rich and good for them. I would every year I would spend thousands of dollars on goats to clear out the side. So I have a little piece of mind. Right, So here you go. The Mallard matchion would have a moat and then it would have goats around that with a drawbridge. What's wrong with that? That'd be perfect. I would like a moat.

That would moat would be great. I feel very secure. I don't need I don't need one of those doorbell cameras a moat. Yeah, that's all you would need is earthquake insurance. You would not need fire insurance. You'd be straight. I save a lot of money. So I love that the goats man. How great is that? It's just one? I mean, this is I'm telling you. We gotta get into business like this and ripple. You know, we could make a ton of money. How much does it cost

to keep goats happy? Like? Apparently just need amy. They brush, so it's not that hard to feed him. No, not at all. Animals are amazing. I'm serious. So you should look into that. I'm not. I'm not kidding that. So that seems like a way to make a lot of money. Now California, everyone burn it up every year. How do we go from goats out of spiders. Well, I'm glad you brought that up, because we have a you know

that this is it's a study. But I'm not. I didn't include this and study this because it's it's a it's an animal bug story. So I a double sided tape designed to stick the body tissue. And this is very important in surgery. Apparently we have operations. They say that it was invented and it was inspired by spiders.

Bring in spider Man. So the medical people looked at the spiders and the way they exude glue to catch their prey in the rain, you know, when it's wet and all that stuff, but they're still able to catch things. And so the scientists at m I T in Boston or in Massachusetts, they noticed how the spiders absorbed water. They found the cheat code of that and you know, to get their next meal or whatever. And they created

this sticky tape which does the same exact thing. They just mimic how the spider gets the ball and and they figured out that it works within seconds. They've tested it on pig skin and lungs, and they said, with more research, eventually this could be used in place of suitures. How about that wild? That is pretty wild. Have you

have you had major surgery? Uh? Well, not since I was I had someone I was a kid, although maybe I'll have some coming up here, you never know, but uh yeah, when I was a kid, I don't remember much of but I just remember like going into the hospital, putting on the gown, which I was uncomfortable because I had no wonder wear on, and then they tell you you know, they put this thing on your face and they knock out, you know what kind of But then

I've been freaked out because Looney told me every time he had some stucedure done, he he sent me some story about, you know, one out of every like a

million people dies when they go under you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've I've had road tator cuff surgery twice, and I distinctly remember before I get knocked out, they make you sign and they bring in an assentusiologist and they go through your rights, They go through the risks, and then you need to sign documentation you're basically on your bed before they stick you with anesthesia, and you're saying, hey, I understand the risks of dying because of the anesthesia,

and then they knock you out. Good times, yeah, yeah, good times. All right? Moving on the many machado of horses. So this is kind of cool. So there's a horse in China name Jingang. I believe that's he said, j I n g A n g. How would you pronounce that? Well, how would you pronounce that j I n G A n G pronouncing gang? Yeah? Wait, pronounce it one more time? Jin Yang? Is that it? I mean, I don't know how you pronounced I don't know anyway. This horse has

apparently become a big star on the internet. Now I saw somebody sent me the videos. Want to bring it up here? What is this horse doing? He is going out of his way to stop working. He's the laziest horse on the plane. It the horse. You gotta check out these videos. More visual thing. But the horse pretends to be dead in an overly theatrical way. And there's videos of the horse resisting his chores by pretending to die, and like when somebody tries to get on the horse,

he doesn't like that. You don't want to carry any one on his back, so he'll fall down, like the horse will fall down. This this horse. What's the horse's name again? Uh, it's j I n g a n G Jin Gang or whatever you want to we should. We need to make a phone called to China. I know you're not like in China, not anymore. I was before I promoted Hong Kong. But this horse would be perfect for your show money through Friday. This would add to your cast of bandits. Yeah, look at you, you

got jokes? No, I'm I think it would be a welcome edition. Don't you think I think I'm good in that? The point? I mean, there's times that you bitch it known to me at like five o'clock in the morning when I'm dead asleep that something was not done or was done poorly, or you need to do everything yourself. Let's bring the horse in really? Yeah, is that what we're doing here? I think it'd be perfect. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.

Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app. Search f s R to listen live. Al Right, by the way, check your phone, guest, and there's something you might want to see anyway. Uh so movement, can we move one? Yes, we can study this. Let's get to study this. So these are actual studies. Now we determine the way this segment works is we determine whether we believe the study or we don't believe this study, whether it's true or

it's bullshit. And that's an honor of Penn and Teller's old show on Showtime, which was called Bullshit and it was a great show. I love the show. I wish it was still on. But anyway, So full moon Mania, so you know it's this being Halloween, we can you know, wear wolves and witches and ghosts and all that stuff. So for over the years there have been people that have pointed out that when there is a full moon

on a clear night, that odd crap happens. Right, So they decided to research this and say does a full moon really cause people to act oddly, to act strange? They seen called the lunar effect. And you know the belief is that people are more impulsive, aggressive when the moon is full. And this goes back to the Bronze Age, back to ancient time. Uh. And so there's this new study out which looks into this and the relationship between the full moon and what crime is committed. Now, so

this is from New York University's Better Gov team. I don't know what that is. N y U. What do you think they determined? Uh? I would say no, that there is not a there's not a coincident. There's only it's a mere coincidence that people do peculiar things when the moon is uh at full tilt as a full moon. That is correct. They determined that if crime does increase during a full moon, they said, uh, it is. They found no correlation between crimes growing up. Uh, you know,

people being arrested during nights when the moon was full. Now, I think this is bullshit. I do, but I don't know about crime, but people do act differently, And I forget that study by n y U. I've got um almost twenty years of night overnight radio uh that I

have as a as evidence. And my my wife who works sometimes she works the graveyard shift because of her job as a nine one one operator, and she tells me the same thing that she knows, like on those nights when there's a full moon, there's more, there's more people calling doesn't mean they're being arrested, but there's more people. So I don't agree with that stuff. I believe people do act differently. I don't know why that is. I'm not sure to make a lot of sense to me, um,

but that that I do believe that happens. So I don't I don't agree with that stuff. I don't think it's trending. I don't think so at all. I think fred if that coincides with people on crime and whatnot, I'd be more often likely to believe something like that. But statistically speaking, I don't know where those numbers come from either. So, well, they looked at crime rates is what they study. But like you said, that is what's reported. That's not actually what what has people have called in

for you know what I mean? Yeah, No, that's uh, that's true. All right, Moving on on study this which profession is more likely to use cocaine, opioids, and other hard drugs. Okay, I'm gonna well, I'm gonna guess. I'm gonna say it's either a doctor or a lawyer, no, believe it or not. Researchers. This has comes from n y Use College of Global Public Health, well that sounds official, that sounds important. Uh. And they claim the profession that

uses cocaine and or abuses prescription opioids the most entertainer. No, construction workers. Yeah, they were also found to be the second most likely profession to use weed. So there's that. And they say that these construction jobs, these people work in construction and mining industry. Uh. And there was something about tens of millions of people that work in these jobs and because they're so dangerous, they have all these risks and you fall and you get injured and all that.

I mean, it's just a nightmare some of these these work related injuries and they can die and all that stuff. So because of the injuries, according to their research, construction workers end up turning to drugs like coke and opioids to self medicate their pain. I guess that would make sense too, because you look at the profession itself, you'll get a lot of construction workers that are paid in cash,

and and they're not paid in check. And more often than not, you're using cash, and when it's in your pocket, you're more likely to burn a hole through your pocket than you are if something is in your bank account and you gotta withdraw it well, and there's the other peer pressure thing. And most people that do cocaine don't usually do it by themselves. Am I right on? Yeah, it's a party d So you're gonna you're around people that do the cocaine. They're gonna try to bring you

to the to the other side, if you will. Moving on dark side of retirement doing study this, and here we go and uh um. Cooper Loop tells me he wants to retire by the time he's forty. That's his dream. How when when do you want to I don't know. I see I haven't bad with ages. I don't I don't think I want to read hire. I think i'd rather just I think i'd prefer to die out of a job. But I don't know that I want to die out of the job. But I have no plans of retiring. I liked my job. I'm very lucky. I

picked I picked a job where I like it. As long as someone will employ me. I plan on doing some version of audio content. I don't know that it will be on radio all the time, might just be the podcast or whatever comes. You know. I didn't mean dropped dead when I'm on the air. It sounded like dummy, That's what it sounded like. Well, you're not paying attention. You should know this better than that. Well you want to do a show, turn the mic off and then die.

Oh yeah no, but you know, like I mean, chick her and I mean he died, but he filled down some steps and then he eventually but he was doing some gardening work I think in his backyard if I remember, and he fell off a ladder or something like that. Yeah, I don't mean to I don't mean the sign off the air and then sign off for carry the old the old Cubs broadcaster Harry Carey, he had something that the Phillies. One of the Phillies broadcasters a former league player,

forget his name. He was a legend in Philly and he died in a hotel room. Don Drysdale and Dodger died in a hotel room in Montreal. Yeah, didn't see Mark Langston almost died a few months ago, and he was actually in the broadcast booth and they said that it was the same exact situation as Drysdale when he passed. But obviously he was in the hotel room like you mentioned. If Langston was not in the press box or in the in the booth with medical assistance around him, he

would have died within five minutes. They said, Wow, I didn't know that. Yeah, I saw him pitch a no hitter. I combined no hitter with Mike Witt in an angel a long time ago. Yeah. Was that that the Big A that was at the Big A. I think it was against the Seattle Mariners, combined no hitter? Mark Langston, Yeah, Marc Lanston, alright, South Paw. Is that one of your favorite Angels? Him and Chuck Finley with his model life Connie contained or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I was

like around that. I covered the Angels and Finley played on the Team of that year in the nineties, and yeah he was. He was a piece of work, all right. Dark Side of Retirements the story we're doing right now. So I asked you, when you want to retire? You so you don't want to retire? Coop wants to retire. I don't really want to retire. Well, he studied conducted by Binghamton University shout out Tom Looney from Binghamton, and it finds that an early retirement can actually accelerate the

decline of of the your brain essentially. Yeah, and then they looked at all kinds of data. They crunched the numbers of research teams noted a clear trend. They did this in China, but they said, individuals receiving pension benefits, we're experiencing much more rapid mental decline than the people the same age who were still working. Um. And and so they're using that as I mean, I would agree.

I think we are designed, unfortunately as humans, to be worker ants, and we have to do something to justify our exa instance, and if we don't, I do believe you start to decline. And not that I of course I'm saying that if I if I was a trust fund baby, I might feel differently. Um, But I'm not so well. I think it's just the way of life in the United States that Europeans are drastically different because their their work life balances is is way different than

what we are out here. But I think the closest comparison to this is how you'd hear you hear about elderly people. One a spouse dies, typically the other falls off right after that or shortly after that. It's women. The women love those stories, right they love the uh you know, the grandpa dies and then five minutes later the grandma dies. They love those it's a broken heart. That is a broken heart. I think it's a life purpose.

So if you don't have a life purpose, especially when you retire, then you're tapping out, like what do you have to wake up for? No, I mean I think there's absolutely I think there's something that I agree with that so that when I'm moving on with a couple more here than we'll move on to the questions from listeners like yourself. So exercise for you? Now, A lot of people will say they don't have enough time to exercise.

We've heard that, right, just get enough time. Well, a new study said that the average American actually has about five hours of free time every day. Think about that, five hours average American. Yeah, so what do you think people are doing taking up all the time? Television, social media, television, yes, television, smartphones, and any kind of a screen, any kind of screen. They say men have a bit more free time on day to day activities than women. Sorry, ladies, Uh, I

guess dealing with the kids. But that's going to say. But incredibly, no gender or economic group is devoting even seven percent of their free time on exercise or physical fitness. Now, I'm happy to say that. I I don't know if it's seven percent, but I try god willing of four or five days a week to work out. I usually do four because of this podcast. I've had to chop a day off to prepare for the podcast. So you're

really affecting my physical fitness guest on bad job by you. Uh. And I don't spend too much time on the screen, although I do watch a lot of games off my phone, so I guess that technically counts. Do you have an indication or notification on your phone that tells you what kind of time we've spent during the week on your phone? You know, I just turned that on. We we talked about that on the radio, and uh, and we we did that and yeah, I didn't even know that was

an option. And I don't spend that much. Actually, I'm but I'm on my desktop a lot. I'm in my office and I've got a computer here, so I on that. I mean probably twelve hours a day. My wife would say maybe she's probably say twenty hours a day. I'm on this thing, So no wonder you're wearing glasses. Well, I'm wearing glasses because of Ben mallory dot com. The

website I ran that was that destroyed my vision. And I'm thinking I also pulled my hair out because I was so stressed on that job that it was bad for my my hair and my eyesight. Other than that, I made no money on it. Uh, but at least people know who I am said in the business, they know who I am first on that weapon. Your buddy

Colin Calhard knows exactly who you are. Yeah. I saw Colin at the You ran into com, but I ran into him with the golf thing, and he he regaled me with stories about how Colin Coward love when we worked at ESPN. He loved Ben mallard dot com. So you were the TMZ before TMZ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We we talked about Colin like he could not say enough kind thing I was. I was like, wow, can you go tell the bosses. I mean, that would be nice. A couple more zeros on that check, just one more

zero would be would be good. Anyway, A couple we're always running late. People who usually run late, guess what, guest con they tend to be happier and live longer. So I'm I'm late to the podcast quite a bit. So I'm succorting a new studies. So I'm gonna be happier and live longer. Although I'm not usually late to most things. I usually, but one problem with radio is you have to be on time. Yeah, you can't be late, you know. So I have friends, you know, sometimes you're

five minutes like, I'll be there five minute. No. In radio, the show starts when the show starts, whether there or not. Yeah, but you blow the clock a lot. I mean, they happened last night too. So well, I was excited because the World Series the other night had ended, and so it was public ejaculation on the radio. It was pretty good. It was unbelievable because all these these cowards, these people,

you know, Chris and Houston and that crack. I mean, I love Chris, but what an embarrassment, I mean, what a joke. You are talking trash and then your team vomits all over the field and you run and hide and suck your thumb in the fetal position. What's up

with that? You're better than that. They disappoint me. Yeah, you gotta take your medicine, that's what you need to do exactly you know how many times guests and I've had to do these dumb shows after the Clippers lose a playoff series, or or the Rams lose the Super Bowl, the Dodgers, every goddamn here the Dodgers losing the playoffs, and I come in here and I have to answer these questions. Uh, And I do it and put on a happy face. I kill him And that's it. That's

how you do it. I can write a book guest on and how to handle when your team blow is in the playoffs. To be fair, you actually get paid to do this anyway. But Chris kind of treats this like a paid gig because Chris promotes his own podcast, Chris and Hughes. Does he make money on it? I want to point out no, probably not just like this. We don't make him money. But I want to point out that, uh, in in in my little world here

talking about all this stuff. We were on our our radio shows on seven ninety on the AM dial in Houston. It's a decently sized sports talk radio station, which is the flagship radio station of the Houston Astros. That means, if you are an Astro person, you listen to that radio station for your propaganda. Now, I somehow happened to be on there at night, which upsets a lot of people in Houston. But it's NonStop Houston calls when the astros are going well. And what happens when things don't

go well? Uh see you later. I'm Casper. The friendly goes, which is drastically different from the NFL fans, because when NFL fans calling it the shows, it's usually because her team is in bad shape. Well at my theory, and I've had a long standing theory on this, is that it's the difference between local and national radio. And on national radio, people are show ponies. The callers they call up to celebrate, but when things go bad, they don't

typically call. And it's so different on the local radio. I was fortunate enough a couple of years ago I did the Red Sox. I filled in on the Red Sox Review, the postgame talk show after Red Sox games happened to be the greatest year in Red Sox history when they went on to win the World Series. But then, but years ago, I did dodge your talk when they were terrible and all that, and I noticed when I would do those postgame talk shows. When the team lost,

I had endless phone calls. People wanted to kill the manager, ripped the picture, ripped the whoever didn't get a big hit. But when they won, it was pretty dead most of the time. And but yet on the national platform, it's more, it's the opposite. The tables have been flipped. It's odd thing. Well, I think that it's been flipped. And the other thing too, is that now you have more you more beat writers

and local reporters that are attacking you. Now we yeah, I mean, listen, I get a kick out of these local yocal guys, that local radio guys who are just drowning in the kool aid. The cheerleaders for their hometown teams. I get a kick out of it. I feel bad for him, you know, I feel bad. They need the access though the teams and to the players, so they need to show a good sport. And that's fine. I understand.

I understand that's other their job, and they have to be the cheerleaders rah rah, hometown team and all that tribalism, you know, and it's I get it, understand. I'm not but I'm on the other side. I don't have to do any of that. I have to talk about all these dumb teams, not anymore. You were you were cow tewing for the Oh I was. I was a Dodger, I Dodger, blue kool Aid, Patriots, Celtics. I don't know what it was. It was pretty bad. It's great, it

was amazing. One of the great radio personnelities happened. What happened to that show in that station? Did you get fired? Uh? No, I had to resign because the show got I was working at w e I in Boston, a station that's been very good to me over the years. But the syndicated show got picked up by ninety eight point five the Sports Up, which is a great sports radio station in Boston. These two battle it out right now, the Sports Ups number one, EI has been number one in

the past. And h turns out gask On, there's a non compete situation in my contract where if I am my syndicated show is on a station, I can't be on a competing station and then market. So that is that is the reason. So it had nothing to do with the fact that you and seven other employers got blown out at the same time. Well, let's just say it was not a bad time to leave the station because the station was the walls caved in on the stage. The timing worked out well and there were some very

good people. They're very talented talk shows. The w E I that got blown out and it got screwed because of approach. I don't know, you're getting me sidetrack. You know you're still standing tall in Boston's it? Blind Scott? Yeah, blind Scott. Well he didn't realize how tall he is. But he's very standing, right is real? Quick? Home Alone New Study Unit or SAO. Hundreds of experts How old

should a child be before their parents leave them home alone? No, According to a survey of five hundred social workers people who work with kids, at least twelve at least So there you at least twelve. Here's also a new study says that what percentage of parents steal candy from their kids? Oh, I would say closer to I would agree with you. They say that numbers seventy parents will steal candy. That's good, that's still really good. If you had to steal candy

from a kid, what would it be. Well, my big candies are the Butterfinger, the Baby Ruth, the Snickers, bar, the Reese's pieces cup those those are my big trinity. Yeah, the problem is you. You don't know you too in a little package, you know, and we need more. I need more, but maybe not now. I'm still thinking to myself like a big fat eater, you know, back in the day, and I don't eat that much. I I in my head, I eat a lot, but just Friday nights and then to go to the store for bread,

it smashed like demolition derby leaving the parking lot. Anyway, it's in the bag. These are listener questions, actual listener question We guest, got that message I sent you? Get there? I did. It's pretty good, right, all right, it's in the bag listener messages and these are actual listeners. And I asked people to say their names, so most of them did. Thank you for that. On our Facebook page,

Dan from Kalamazoo, I love Calamazoo. What fun Kalamazoo, Rancho Cucamonga Beaver, damn all fun places punk Sitani Anyway, Dan from Kalamazoo, Michigan says, I want the Marcel in Brooklyn origin story I missed when he first started calling the show. The dude is a star. Yes, why alright, so here, I'll keep this short and sweet. So Dan, So Marcel started calling the show and was horrible. Um was, but he was so unique like his delivery. It seemed like

he was doing a bit like I thought. At first, like most of these regular callers, I thought, well, this is somebody punking me. This is a prank call, this is not a real human being. And so what I did, this is one of the things I do which I probably shouldn't do. But I figure out, how can we use this person, how can we create some magic? And and so I've I've worked. Marcella doesn't realize I'm doing this, but I worked with Marcella trying to find a niche.

And one of the funniest things I've had the last couple of years in my my radio career, while I was doing a show actually was from w e I in Boston, and Marcelle started calling that show and he calls up and he when he first started calling up, he had nothing to say. I I mean literally nothing. Is he just want to be on the radio. I know a lot of people do that still for some reason, I don't, you know, whatever I did when I was a kid, marcell is not a kid, but he still does.

So so Dan, Marcel calls up run night and uh, I was he had nothing to say. So I was just starting. I was trying to get some conversation, going to kill a few minutes or whatever. And I want to completely be a dick to the guy, and so I said, hey, what you have for dinner? So then he says, I had Chef boy r D. And so then I came back and I said, oh, you know what, the finest Italian restaurants in Italy they serve Chef Boyard. That's authentic Italian food. And Marcel handed god, gas gun,

Oh my god, that's great. He he he took it, hook line and sinker like it was true. And that's how food Picks started with Marcel. We were so amazed that that he thought that Chef boyar D was authentic Italian food. Why do you funk with him like that? It's fun. He likes it. He likes being part of the show. He calls like in the morning jab in in Portland, Maine, he calls them. He calls TV stations, radio shows all over the South. He's got a whole network.

He's got the Marcel Broadcasting network. Out of Brooklyn. But you know that there's people out there that actually believe everything that you say, like it's the gospel. Well, unfortunately that is true. And I you got if you don't get sarcasm, boys this show, you're gonna think I'm a complete asshole and schmuck. And uh yeah, we do doubt. I use you used to have a boss, gas Gun. You know who that person is who did not get sarcasm, and that made it very difficult for me for about

the first fifteen years of my run at Fox Sports Radio. Anyway, that the person is not in the mix anymore. Carlos from Houston, how about we still have a listener in Houston. Carlos, good job, But you must not be an Astros fan, he says, what's the A lot of origin stories today, gask And what's the story behind Andrea the Astrologer? And cowboy John Bred? All Right, so real quick on these two. Did she go to UC Berkeley? I don't know that

she did. She's from New York. She grew up a Mets fan and a you know, like the New York teams. She's lived in Berkeley for a long time, so I don't know if she went to Berkeley or not, but probably she's a hippie and she just randomly called up one night and started like doing her stick alas. She's like, she's about the radio and TV in San Francisco, Carlos, so she's on media there. She calls in a lot and whatnot, and so I didn't really know much about her,

but she seemed fun. It was a little different. And really the reason I've continued with that, I don't know that I believe a lot of what she says. I'm a skeptic by nature, but uh, it reminds me of some of the crap that Art Bell used to do. And I loved Coast to Love. I don't listen to it now because I'm competing with it, but I used to love Art Bell, the overnight guy, and he would do stuff like that where he'd put people on and uh and so who were into star charts and all that.

So I thought, you know, it's a little little taste of that reminds me of that a little bit, So we'll go with it. And as far as Cowboy, John Brad Cowboys the longest tenured caller I've had. He has been a professional radio caller as long as I know, probably my entire life. And he's like rain Man. And I don't know when that start with the Cowboys Corner thing, uh actually predates me, but that we we dressed it up a little bit. And because Cowboy just would he

doesn't have a computer. All that's off his memory, which makes it even more amazing, Like he doesn't have a computer. Sometimes will go to the library to use a computer. He does not own a computer, and so all of that is from he's got a roll index mind. It's unbelievable. I don't know if he wants to have that title though, as your longest tenured color, Like, do you think that's safe? Well, eventually we all need our demise. But but but yeah,

I mean, Cowboy's great, He's harmless. He's gotten upset with me and a few times you politically, I'll say something, you know, get upset with what. I don't do a lot of politics, but he'll get upset. And but he's been been very loyal. He sends jokes in my favorite thing about Cowboy, which I don't think. I don't know if I've said it much. Uh, and people might think

I'm kidding, uh Carlos, But cowboy John Brad. He will go to the library and wins her Ontario and send me emails like a couple of times a week, and he thinks he's so par annoyed. For say, he thinks his email gets hacked. So he has literally sent me email from like and I'm not exaggerating, probably a couple of hundred email addresses he starts either new Google or Yahoo email addresses, and they're all like cowboy John Brad

five five five seven, seven to two and whatever. And so my theory is that he forgets the name, either the name or the password, and so that's why he always has to change his email. Yeah, no, no, Ale l no hot mail. Uh, I don't think a O L or or hot mail. It's been mostly it's been Google, Gmail and and Yahoo. It's in the bag. Next up, Big Lou from the LBC fan of the People's Team. He says, have you ever been involved in a bar

street club fight with multiple people? Now? Did you started and this is for both of us, did you start it or number one? Or did one of your friends? Uh? There you go? Where did it happen? Yes? And he fights in your life there too? Yeah, so the first one the first one. Actually, actually both of them took place in San Diego, but the first one started not because of me, but because of my friend's sister. So

Dan and San Diego. Usually during the summertime, they have an event in Pacific Beach called the Peb Block Party. And the Pacific Beach is beautiful. Yeah, the Peb Block Party is what it is on Garnett Avenue. They'll block off a major portion of that street to have all kinds of beer vendors and food vendors and street you know, the shops that come on the street, and so they'll do it throughout the day and it's just a big festival that's on the middle of the street, usually right

around the fourth of July. Well, we were there during the daytime and when things closed off, we went down the street to a friend's house, or so I thought, and I had a group of about ten or twelve guys that I was with, but we somehow got scattered. I went with one of my good friends to meet up with his sister at this giant house party on a block and there's a bunch of people there and there was a couple of guys that stood out that

were short they were talking smack uh. They were making all kinds of of ruckists inside this house that went outside. And my buddy's sister, she's got a mouth on her and it gets elevated when there's alcohol involved. So, needless to say, she took exception to this because these guys were being rude to her friend's house. And she called this guy to his face, point blank, a little ship.

So there's a lot of things that you can call a guy, but if a guy is short and a woman's standing over him, that guy's not gonna like him too much. And so the especially depends on the guy's lubricated. Also, he was lubricated. Yeah, So I got right next to her, and the first thing I hear him say in responses fuck you little cunt. Oh no, you can't the word

you can't say, man, that's the deadly word. Yeah. So then she throws a beer in his face and he throws a right hand, and as soon as he threw the hand, I threw one at him and I landed on top of him, and I got pummeled by like six other guys. My buddy who was there nowhere to be found. I got Yeah, well he didn't get taken off like guys were Holdinghi my I guests. Apparently I

don't know. I was getting my ass kicked. So I got a hammerd as I'm trying to hit this one guy, I'm getting choked out by another one, and a bunch of other guys were just wailing on me. It sounds like a fight. Yeah. The silver the silver lining to this was after it was over with the same guy that I got in the fight with tried messing with a female cop. This cop was probably half of his size and she ducked a punch from him and dropped

to with an elbow so hard. Bet It turned out these guys were all in Bud's training for Navy seals. So when these guys all got detained twenty minutes later, they're a superior officer came down to PB and taught to the officers. They all got uncuffed and went down to the base down near or up near Captain Peleton, and they made them run. They're still running. Probably that is punish me. So I have a little scar over

my right eye. Uh eyebrows obviously cover it now, but yeah, I will never forget that because I stepped in line for a for female getting hit and uh, I met my I met a demise. I always these women starting fights and then the guy has to come and then what's up with that? Her brother didn't even do anything. That was the worst part. I was with him. Well, I I don't have time to get in all that. I have not really been in a real fight since

I was in high school. I got in some dust ups at junior high school and high school back in the days when you can get away with that, and I get suspended and thrown out of school. Nowadays you can't do that. But I'm always paranoid. I'm such a big guy. I am paranoid that I'll get into a fight and I'll be the guy that punches someone. They fall down, their head hits the ground, that rekill it

and they're dead. And I don't as much as people upset me and I'd like, in my mind I punched them, but I I'm so much bigger than most people size wise. I'm I'm just paranoid. I don't want to I mean, I don't really want to kill anyone. I've killed all the people I want to kill, which is zero, So I'd rather not go down that I would never start

a fight. I mean I did that, you know, elementary school, in school you're growing up, yeah, yeah, but never in his adult Like you said, you hit some of the wrong way or ship they hit you the wrong way and it lights out. Game over, man over man bringing the body. But and for what I know, you know, all right, Well, we don't have too much time for because we gotta move on to it. Not for a lot of questions. Unfortunately, we're not gonna get to most

of them. Zach from Sacramento says, I have to ask, would you do a podcast for one day with your old co host Jason Smith? Just one episode? Well, it depends on Ascon, whether Gascon leaves the show or not. But I love Jason. I see Jason every night. And Zach, you must be an old school listener. But in the early days of Fox Sports Radio, a weekend program, it was me and Jason Smith side by side. I've known Jason for before Fox Sports Radio. We looked worked in

local radio together, so I would not be opposed to that. Uh. And and what uh, Jim from Orange Mass You ever been Orange Mass? No? Never, it's right near Lemon, Mass No. Uh. What was the most embarrassing costume you ever wore stick to Halloween costume? I don't remember, Jim. I I dressed up as like a clown old people police officer, you know, the standard fair as a kid. I never dressed up as a tampon like Cooper Loop. My brother dressed up as gumby my older brother one year. I remember that

it had green makeup on all over the place. I didn't really do any of that. Any embarrassing costumes gascon No. I think my favorite costume was me and a couple of buddies were in Vegas, uh for our twenty for his birthday, and we dressed up a Scotsman and uh yeah it was. It was pretty wild. So we had

kilts on the whole nine yards. Um well, I this was not for Halloween, but I was at the and I did a local radio show for the twentieth anniversary release party of Animal House in Westwood, right near U. C. L A. Westwood Boulevard, and they made us wear togas. The program director thought, well, it's Animal House. Where a toga? Do you have a picture that? Um, let me tell you something. Yes. One of my most humiliating nights, you know, I met my fattest at this period in my life.

And I show up to a radio remote broadcast. I then have to go into the bathroom and I have to put on a toga. I take my clothes off to put on a toga. Yeah. And then and it was the Bed and Dave Show with David Smith and he had the same thing. And so then we we Our boss is like, well, why don't you try to promote this? Why don't you go outside on the street.

And so people driving a very busy street in lay Westwood, both I can see you, and uh so we had to stand out there and uh man, anyone was like all these people that were in the movie, the ones that didn't die at that time, were there and and they were looking as us like a bunch of morons, these guys are. They were giving us like that kind of look, you know, that kind of thing. So it was it was pretty good. That's great. Yeah, all right, why don't we move on? For time reasons here gascon

don't stick the sports stories of the week. How about this. A bartender in Missouri she got a massive tip when a customer left her not just money, ben she left

her a winning lottery ticket. And it was worth fifty dollars. Now, the one kicker on this is that it's a normal thing for the customer, because what happens is is when there's big lottery pots, the customer will typically buy people inside the restaurant and their employees lottery tickets and just splurged, like Jonas Knox does that at Fox Sports Radio during Christmas time instead of buying us gifts, So just buy

a scratchers. So this guy had done this on the regular and it came toward the next day that the customer or a ticket was purchased a winning lottery ticket from the local establishment, and so the staff found out that there was a winning lottery ticket that was purchased. Nobody knew who it was. The next day there someone scanner ticket and boom, fifty dollars. Boy, I would not that would be tough if I gave fifty dollars and you didn't know it. But that's a tough one. Would

you ask Would you ask for some Uh? No, I mean I don't think you're entitled to it. Right. Once you give the gift, you can't then ask for the gift back. Now, if they want to give you some money, the person that won. I think that's fair, but you can't be the one today. You're a dick if you do that, right now, that's true, that's true. How about this one? Uh? T s A. Have you had any trouble with T. S A other than grabbing my nuts? Uh? You know no, I mean it's the paint of the aspid.

I guess that's a good point, but you know, obviously humiliating, and you know they you know, they're just rocking you when they look at your naked body and all that. A lot of these guys. But yeah, I don't enjoy it. But I've not had anything really horrific that has happened. All right, Well, I bring that up because he Throw airport is one of the busiest airports in the world,

and that's there's no argument there. Um. The airport itself had actually apologized to a local television reporter because she was asked by staff to publicly strip and go through the portals that were made there. Staff made her stripped down and ben she was left going through the expressway with a black vest on, no bra, and just her panties. Yeah. Now, I want to point out when I first heard this story, guess and I thought, boy, she must be beautiful. Yeah,

I mean, this must be a ten attend. These guys, these horn dog guys must have been like, I want to see this woman close off. I saw a photover a guest. She's a you know, nice woman. I'm sure. I don't know, but she's about as far away from that. You know, maybe back in her glory days she was. But where are they now? Yeah? Not not anymore. Like she's not a she's not a five in des Moines, Iowa. No, I mean maybe like mine is two in des Moines. Okay,

come on, she's somebody's mom. I mean that's she could be somebody's mom. Just say, I'm being honest. You want me to lie. Well, she's not gonna hear this podcast? Well, you never know, I mean we're heard around the world. Yeah, I'm sure she's I'm sure we got a big listenership in London. We got Terry Bridge Cambridge University. Have we got Terry that's out there? Terry in England? Yeah, the

leader of the UK Mala Militia. I'm glad we brought up Terry too, because there's another story that we'll get to here in a second. But how about this police took the time to blow up an innocent man's house. Now it wasn't for no reason. Then they were actually looking for a armed shoplifter. That's right, an armed shoplifter. Um, he's a very dangerous thing when you shoplift with a weapon. Well, of course, but he robbed a local wall mart and

then proceeded to barricade himself in. Where did this happen. I'm gonna get it to that. I'm gonna get to that. He barricaded himself in this house and in particular a bathroom for nineteen hours before squat squad before swat fired. That's a new squad is squat They squat down they that's what they so, swat fired gas into the house, drove an armored truck through the doors, and then toss flash bangs before blowing out some of the walls in

this house. Now the city is Greenwood Village in Colorado. He trade wait wait wait wait wait wait Greenwood Village. Yes, you know why Greenwood Village is famous. Guess you have food there? Yeah, I have a food dish named after me in that in that city. How great is that? The chicken tenders? Uh? Well, kind of it is. Uh, the the chicken there's like chicken sandwich with my my name in it. Yeah, how about that? Man? I want to make it all about you. Well, no, it's next

time you're in Colorado, you world traveler. Uh, you can in in Greenwood Village. It's the sports Book Bar and there's actually two locations in the Denver area. But they have the Mallard chicken tender sandwich on the menu. Why would I'm not gonna to enjoy the Mallard chicken tender sandwich. Don't we have a listener out there? What's the named Christina? Uh? Well, we had we had well, we had nerd. Christina's right.

We also have Queen Roxanne, who's the one the Queen's and a high ranking in the female continuent of the Mallar Militia. She's not very high up. She well, but she flew out the California Tammy didn't fly out the guy. She flew out to California to hang out with us at the minor league appearance we did a couple of years, and not the one with you, but the one that had a nice ballpark. How do you know Tammy hasn't flown out here. Well, I mean said and said, well,

I'm just saying, I mean, she's wow. What anyway, So this guy tried, This guy tried suing the city. Yeah, it seems like he had a good case. Yeah, the city turned it down, but they offered him five thousand dollars for a temporary rental assistance for his insurance deductible five thousand dollars for a house that was demolished by local swat. Wow, that's that's wonderful. I guess police can do whatever they want, and they you're screwed pretty much, right.

They can destroy your house with no real legit reason and you But then we see other stories where people get paid millions of dollars in settlements, So it does cut both ways. It's a double edge situation. Speaking of that, how about this for a call to help? A phone sex line number was accidentally printed on a suicide hotline on a middle school student I D card in Lancaster. It's a middle school up there. I think it's talk about the fourteen California. There's a bunch of Lancasters. But

in California. Yeah, so school I D cards with a phone X line on there as opposed to a suicide hot line number. It's one of those adult chat lines. So if you called them back in the daily, it's like three or four nine. I used to call those back in the year. In trouble right, they blocked those numbers on your phone. Well, you could push pounds six seven and then down the number. If you really wanted to, you can call you back. I could do. That's a

good point. That's the old pay phone trick. Back in the year, there's like five some five five five numbers you could call. I remember when I was a kid in junior high there was a number somebody at school figured out and if you called the pay phone the phone it was like a way to test pay phones back in those days, and so they would the phone would start ringing back so the person, the phone person, the operator could figure out where the phone was working at.

I used to do that on dates back in the day. Oh really, Yeah, when the when the dates weren't going well, I would purposely call those numbers to have them call me back. Or I would call movie theaters and I'd call for showtimes because in the show times are obviously telling you, they'll tell you the times, but just you put the phone up lout enough and you can hear somebody talking. So if you're right next to me and you're listening to the conversation, you can't. You can't hear

the words that are bled out. They never stopped talking though, that's the problem. Yeah, but by the way you did that, I was always women that did that to me. It was never I never did that. I did it such a studt different different times in our life. And uh so, alright, so anyway, this back to the middle school high desert part of California, and they had a a sex line instead of the suicide hot line. All right, So there's a couple of ways you can look. It's obviously some mistake.

Somebody just changed some digits and all that. You don't in the early days of Fox Sports Radio are calling number if you dialed the wrong digit at the end. I think it was the last two digits if you like flipped them. It was a sex line. Yeah, that happened with the Fox, but I think that's with a lot of numbers. But but anyway, uh, you know, depending on what your your depression is, uh, sex line could actually help, right, I mean, it's not like many defends

no no, no, no, I couldn't help at all. It's for middle school. Those middle school kids are in all kinds of crazy stuff these days, aren't they. I don't know. I'm staying away from that. Last one UK politician, This one's for Terry Keith Vaz. He's in some trouble right now. Parliament can actually ban him after he was caught trying to buy drugs for prostitutes. Now Ben the kicker and all this, he will be banned for six months after

he tried buying cocaine for some male prostitutes. The top on all this is VADs is actually married and he was the head of a committee that was committed to probing current drug policies in the UK. So are you's saying he's gay? Is that what you're saying? Guest? Is that what your the irony? And all this is he's caught trying to buy cocaine when he's in charge of

a committee that's looking to curb drug use in the UK. Yeah, But isn't this like that's on the same spectrum as like the the guy that was running the clinic to change gay people straight, you know, the therapy thing, and then he turned out he was gay the whole time. What about the local reporter for kt l A here in Los Angeles? Which one is that one? Which one?

There was a local reporter here in Los Angeles that was married, okay and kids, Yes, and he died during a sexual rendezvous with a male prostitute when he injected him with some crystal meth. Yeah. Well there was another. There was a female that was married to a pretty powerful radio personality. You know, it was on television, and I guess this is not that odd, but she just decided in the middle of the marriage that she was a lesbian. And how about that? There's a fun fact?

Who was it? Uh? Yeah, kids, well kids, it's it's a podcast. No one's gonna be paying attention to it. You're gonna pay my legal bills, all of them. Like A I could claim bankruptcy, Well I don't know. If they claim it, you are bankrupt. I don't need to claim it. It's it's true. So that means I'm okay. If I back into your car, apparently you don't need insurance. You can just back in my car. Welcome to California people, anyways, Ben, that's it all right there, it is. Have a great

weekend and enjoy the hell out of it. Whatever you end up doing this weekend, don't forget the other podcast, which will be Benny Versus the Penny. I guess we'll have to do a quick version of Benny Versus the Penny. But we'll be back on the radio after that Sunday night Patriots Ravens Game Sunday night into Monday morning on the Overnight. But thank you for supporting the show. Keep sending those emails the message on social media. We'll catch

you next time. All right, I got I'm gonna go on the other studio, So hold one second, can't wait? Shut up? Yeahvin, By the way, you're your next up when guest gon quits the podcast. So I hope you're prepared. He's already threatening to quit. I hope you're prepared. Don't worry about it. Oh yeah, all right, we'll do it, man, we'll dominate. Yeah. Test one, two, three, four, five, six. See you get him a new voice so it sounds better. I have a great voice. The funk you're talking about

it sounds like it. Well, all right, let's get the real talent. Mike checked. That's right, man. You know I'm very loud yea, and I like to talk very loud. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. There you go, all right, you're good. All right, So guests, Scott, I got Uncle Mo, benders, zombies, goats, spiders, and lazy horses. Uh, study this. What else they got? It's in the bag. And don't stick to sports anything else that is uh, that is it? Okay? What are those stories? We don't

stick to sports. Not that really matters. But um, hold on, suck out? Is someone editing something I heard some playback or something? Um bum bum bum see here. Uh all right, I guess we'll you know, we'll do it. Let's get started here, Let's see what happens. Ready, have some tacos? Have one for me, man, I'm not eating much of these days. And Gavin, can you hit that open and then pot yourself? Though come boom boom four hours a day minutes wasn't enough, think again, he's the last remnants

of the old Republic. That was way too loud. Is that we're done, beautiful, that's a good podcast. We'll put that fucking thing up. I'm out of here. I'm gonna go fucking have a taco myself. Fuck y'all, see you later. Bastion of fairness, he treats crackheads. Not that I don't like the middle part, because I think the middle parts great distracted booms, All right, jokes done, Come on, boom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes

a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. To clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now. That it does, and we welcome me into the Magical Podcast. If you thought jokes, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a sole

bastion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. What the hell happened? Hello? I was exhilarating and frightening. Boom. Have you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, Think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of

hot takes. Break Free for Something Special Hour with Ben Maller starts right now that it does and welcome into the amazing podcast world. Boom, what is going on here? Well? Walker is going on here? How hard is that? Unfucking believable? No tacos for you, No fucking goddamn tacos. I don't know if it just closed the window. I mean, how many times you gonna play the goddamn think. I'm not planning again. I'm just gonna edit it. Okay, I'll edit it.

Don't worry about it, all right. The only us to sue one