Cool Cats & Bella Bombs

We are back at it again on a Saturday, Saturday Saturday, the Fifth Hour, because four hours a night are clearly not enough, eight days a week from a secret podcast studio somewhere far far away in the north Woods, unless that's not the case, And yet again joined by a man who does not live the West of the four oh five lifestyle, even though I think he actually lives West of the four or five. But he's not the He's not that kind of guy. Danny G Radio back

on a Saturday. Hello Danny G. What's up, Ben? Yeah, it's more like a Ventura County dude. Well, that deserves some applause because, uh, you know, not that you know, we've had our issues in the past. The West of the four or five. He's not here anymore. It's all about you. And uh so I'm excited now on this edition of the Fifth Hour, We've got the files of the life of Mallard. So we have camouflage punked and the red light is flashing and uh and I'm sure

we have tales of the life of Danny g as well. Right, I'm sure some amazing things happen to you this week that you're gonna share with the ones. Of course. Not no, you're not gonna give them the insight skinny on your amazing wildlife living in Los Angeles. No, yeah, no, I have a couple of good tales. All right, very good. We have the mail Bag on Sunday. If you didn't he here the Friday Extravagance and what an amazing interview. I don't give it away. If you missed it, go

back and listen. But you're gonna be blown away. The conversation on Friday Nanny. Yeah, that's podcast. We're gonna win some kind of podcasting award for that podcast on Friday. Top of mine, my friend, it's you know, one sport everybody's talking about right now. Yeah, I gotta get my fixed.

I love the coaching carousel. I'm all about the coaching carousel, Danny, I wish we had a radio care So wouldn't that be fun if we had like a radio carousel and you could have bidding wars with random people trying to hire you away and pay you great. Where would you rank among the radio coaches? Well, I would be mid level at best. That would be mid level. But think of the bidding war like you could be a free agent. You can go anywhere. That used to be what radio

was like back in the old days. If you were top notch DJ. We're we're around the same age. We heard stories. I heard stories from guys that would there'd be they'd be like the top DJ in Chicago and they get stolen away by New York, or they were in Boston and somebody in Detroit wanted them and they bounced all over the place making tons of money. You're a storyteller, so I figure you to be like a Mike Leach. My I do enjoy Mike Leach. He's one

of my favorite coaches in college football. He's a bullshit artist and I appreciate that. And he's a pretty good offensive coach. And that guy has been all over God's being earth as Uh, and then we'll schedule him. I can get him on the podcast. Yeah, I'd love to get him. You know we should get to is Brent Musburger. I'd love to get musgled Hey. I love getting legends on and uh and just blow But the the camel flash story, they will start with that because exciting news.

Exciting news and the files of the life of Mallard. Uh. This week, Uh, the Mallard Mansion became full again. An old friend, an old friend returned after an eighty six day since the bitch is back, Danny, what happened? Yeah, the dog. The dog has returned, Bella. Where do you think I was talking about women? How dare you? I believe the clinical term for a female dog is a bitch. But but Bella returned to the Mallard Mansion. If you've been following along here on the Saturday podcast, I moved

apparently eighties six days prior to Bella returning. Actually has been more than that, ninety days since this happened. But uh, Bella was not able to live at the house here it's a construction zone. We finally got enough stuff done where it is dog friendly here deep in the North Wood. So it's all systems go very excited about that my

old furry friend is back. It is not all rainbows and lollipops, though, Danny, because there has been some tension with Bella's return here, the family dog, here, the mascot of the malle militia. Unfortunately, Uh, she has decided the

entire house is a porta potty or for dogs. Now, when we had Bella before, she had been potty trained, and then we moved to a temporary Mallard mansion which was a halfway house, and she started shipping all over the rental which was a problem, which was a big problem. And uh, but she then was apparently where she's been staying here with the the in laws. She was doing pretty good, my dog. And now she has decided that some kind of payback maybe for the eighties six days.

This is like an eye for an eye and shipped for a ship, and she's decided to poop all over the house. And the big problem here, Danny, is camouflage. And you've not been to the new Mallard mansion. At some point we'll get you over here. And uh, the problem them that I have is the flooring that we put in this house is the same color of the dog poop that comes out of Bella. And so I

walk around here at night. I'm pretty much awake at night, not during the day as much, and especially now because the sun goes down, so you can imagine walking around it's like dodging land mines, steaming piles of dog turds. And I need a I need some kind of flashlight or something when when I'm walking around it's I thought it was wood colored, but apparently it's actually ship color. I had no idea. Uh So, Also, Bella has taken

umbrage with using the doggy door. Apparently thinks she's too good for the doggie door, which we spend a good amount of money putting in the doggyed door thinking it would be perfect for the dog. Danny the dog has chosen not to bother using the doggie door, waiting for one of us to open the door to get the v I P service. Like so, it's a it's a pretty much a disaster so far. And uh I remember on the on a previous podcast, we had talked about

this and I didn't take good notes. Bella's got breath issues. Also, I got a lot of issues with this dog. It's an old dog. So I have to some some listeners sent products. I gotta go back and check. Maybe my email I can find it, because there are some things you can get for dogs that have terrible breath. Have you ever had are you a dog guy, Danny? Or you are? You? Are you had the you'r a cat guy?

I remember you had the Do you still have that cat? Yeah? Well, growing up I had both dogs and cats, and that's the case right now. I have a dog and a cat. Okay, I remember the cat. I remember you've had the cat for a while. I remember the story when you got that Yeah, yeah, the panther yeah, and then Mac Mac and the dog is uh yeah. The dog belongs to my fiance. Now she's not old enough to have health issues.

We're not in your territory yet, all right, so so just keep the dog inside at night, you don't, I I don't know if you know the story Bella got bitten by a coyote at the halfway House and that that was a nice couple of grands that you had to spend on emergency surgery. And I know you have lots of checking accounts where you set money aside for things. Oh sure, Yeah, who doesn't do that? Danny? Right? I mean, my god, I mean we all, we all do it,

and then you wake up one day and it's like surprised, motherfucker. Yeah, there you go. You gotta spend spend a bunch of money on that. But anyway, it's good. So it's good to have Bella back all things. And uh is she? Is it too old? I know that old the old phrase that you can't teach an old dog new tricks rights as Bella gone too far here where I can't train her now to go through the doggy door again, and and all that. So well, I know what's coming up.

And my mom pulled this on me and my brothers, and I'm sure a lot of our listeners have this happened to them when they were kids too. My mom took our old dog, Charlie, who was a cocker Spaniel, to a farmer's ranch for a better life so he had room to run around. Really is that? What is that what she told you? That? You're sure your mom didn't drive fifty miles away and get out, get out fight, Oh,

get out of here. Pretty sure that's exactly what happened. Yeah, here you know I'm not at that at that point, but I don't know that I would spend another two thousand dollars. You always say that, and then when in the heat of the moment, they got you, Like these animal hospitals got you because you don't expect your dog to be attacked by a coyote, right, You're like, yes, that you hear about that on the news, but you're like, that's not gonna happen. And then when it happens, and

you're like, oh, I gotta do something. You know that dogs bleeding, the dogs dying, You're like, all right, whatever, here's all my money, you know, and it's like watch where you step. Yeah, exactly. Well, now I just sitting in my st vidio here and I don't Bell is not allowed in here right now because I don't want her pooping all over this place, because that would I gotta be in here a lot, so I don't need

the the floor is covered with poop. Uh. So there is that now the punk story, Danny, another story from the files of the Life of Malice. So during the week, uh, and you know this from working on the show, I have to record a lot of commercials. Anybody does these radio shows, you gotta record a lot of commercials, and now because of the podcast, it's both for terrestrial radio and for podcasting, And a lot of the recording is done during the commercial messages that played during the show.

So we'll record sometimes we record promos, and uh, whatever needs to be recorded, we'll often do it during the commercial messages that are being played. So we're doing something. Uh. So normally I am as snug as a bug in the rug when it comes to this kind of content, recording commercials done in a long time. Uh, this week it was a tinder box, Danny. Uh, it was a nightmare situation. I was bobbing and weaving my way around

a audio minefield trying to record these commercials. So why was this random night different than all other nights I was attempting to record. I had two thirty second spots and two sixty second spots, so you know standard commercials and radio sixty thirty and like fifteen, right, those are usually sometimes five like a five second, but you don't record those usually anyway. So I was up to my eyeballs in spots and I won't say who they were. Four I don't want to I want to rip anybody's

who broke the copy. But I was told to read the copy of verbatim, said, read the copy of verbatim, which means don't miss anything, add anything, don't miss it, and boom done. Um. So I read the copy. I get to a thirty second spot, and for the life of me, I cannot get the commercial in thirty secings. Now, as you know Dan doing this radio stuff, when it's a for radio, it has to be exactly thirty seconds. It can't be twenty nine seconds. It's not supposed to

be thirty one. Can't be thirty one, maybe twenty nine. But people pay for thirty seconds. They want thirty seconds of content, right and um. And we don't write the copy. The copies written. We occasionally we were able to add live, but the copies written by somebody else, and then it's sent to us and then we have to read the copies. So that's how this stuff was. And so I could not get this commercial in thirty seconds. And there was a moment I did this. Time after time after time.

I kept trying to read as fast as I could, and I was convinced that I was like on an episode of Punked or TV's Blue was some practical jokes that somebody was messing around with me, Like it was a mind trick. Now, how many seconds over were you? Oh? Six or seven? I mean it was unbelievable. So they were trying to jam forty seconds worth of copy and yeah, yeah, exactly. So it was a way. It was ten pounds of ship for a three pound back, is what it was.

And so I'm like, I'm looking around, like maybe there's a hidden camera. They're gonna record this for a blooper show at the end of the year or something like that. And it was a total travesty. I'm using remember that you remember the infomercial for the speed reading hand, remember that you can speed read for th infomercial they had. I was a kid. I used to love infomercials and for thirty teach you all the tricks on how to speed read, you know, you'd use your hand and go

through the words and how you can memorize speeches. And I never bought it, but I remember the infomercial. I think it's on YouTube, so I think you can watch it on on YouTube anyway, So I did this thing like six or seven times, and I'm just losing my mind. I'm pulling out the little hair I have left on top of my head. I'm like, what the hell is going on? Have I lost my way? Am I finally senile? Uh? Is this? It? Is? This? The end of me? I

can't do the damn thirty second commercial? How can I work in radio if I can't do a thirty second commercial? So anyway, I keep doing this thing over and over and over and uh and then a voice in my head. I will not say who the guilty party is, uh, Danny G. But let's just say the initials are J, C, J C. Are the initials? Uh? And I hear this whisper in my head. Hey, I misread the top of the copy. Uh that's actually for the podcast. You can

go as long as you want. Wops. Uh. So, yeah, the the guilty party had told me to read the podcast commercial as a terrestrial radio commercial and not just or said podcast. And needless to say, it was a very frustrating experience. I was so upset that I Roberto does this cooking with Roberto thing, and I I ended up pushing that back because I had to complain. I had to rant and rave, I had to get I had to blow some steam. Off because I got very

upset and it was very I was very emotional. And then when I finally found out that I was not me, it was it was it was human error, I was like, yes, thank goodness, very excited about that. So these are first world problems. I didn't say it was cool, but it was j C. It might be there's many people with the initials j C. There's only one that I know of, but there's many people that I in the world that have the initials j C. It was some revenge since

he has to work with you every night. Ye payback? Yeah, pay back some mother a little payback. Yeah. Yeah. So now every time I get copy now to read, I will. I will go over it myself. I will read every detail I can possibly read on the copy before I start reading said copy. So I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Check my mail too, because they send these emails datings with the yeah you don't like to read emails? No, No. In fact, I used to check the company email. I've

told bosses that fox this. I used to check the company email all the time, and then for some reason I stopped checking it. In January January of oh nine, January twenties I stopped checking it. Uh and I I never looked back. And no, the bosses at Fox notice send me anything really important. They have to send to my personal email because I do not check the company email. I have to go on there like twice a year because I have to do some training for I heart.

You know, you have to do that FCC training stuff that. Yeah, that way you don't sexually harass the staff. Yes, yes, don't don't sexually ask. And also no payola. We're not allowed, unfortunately, to get so those I'll get those emails. They'll be like, hey you got I'll click on that and um, yeah, so that's the Nike Nike Nike. By the way, I'm wearing some brand new Nikes that I really like Raid. Yeah is that? Is that right? Is that? I'm just kidding? Are you gonna go full Rob Parker? You know Rob

loves loves Nikes. I slapped the Fox logo on some Nike. Uh. Well yeah, but Rob, I love him. I don't you think he's paying full price for the Nikes. I'm I'm thinking he's got a deal. He knows somebody, right. My favorite part with Rob when we walked into our green room, or is it a greener. I guess it's a blue room at Fox Sports Radio. The kitchen, the Smurf kitchen, Yeah, the Smurf kitchen. And he had the actual racks of clothing. Yes, he had a full wardrobe of Fox Sports Radio merchandise

ready to go. The blue kitchen. Remember somebody put a sign on top of it kind of google around. It was fun. Um, Yeah, that was That was pretty good. Rob's hustling. Man. I love. We've got Rob on the podcast several times. I was always hosted. I last time he was on the podcast was during the the World Series and he told the story about he flew to Atlanta and he flew Spirit Airlines. It's a great story.

And he Spirit Airlines charges for everything. I think they charge if you breathe when you fly on the Spirit per breath you take and per heartbeat and all that. And so Rob found a work around. He got the cheapest flight he could to Atlanta, and he spent like a hundred bucks around trip or some ridiculous amount of money. And but he saved the money on the carry on. He brought no clothes. He just brought like a bag. I guess he was allowed to bring his computer, and

that was it. And then when he got to Atlanta, he just went to like a Ross Dress for Less type store and bought so a couple of shirts and a couple of pairs of pants to wear for the weekend. And then when he when he left, he couldn't bring the clothes back, so he just left him in the hotel. That's awesome. That's such a I'm a tight wad, but that's like next level. That's like, yeah, yeah, no, wonder the two of you get along so well, oh yeah

we do. In fact, I've never told this story. I happened last weekend after the Rams got pole axed against the Green Bay Packers and Matthew Stafford through another interception that was returned for a touchdown, Rob text me and he's like, what do you think of Staffy? And we're going back and forth on Stafford. He's advising me that I must I must jump ship on Matthew Stafford. He's giving me the whole rap about that Bamford. Yeah, he just going through the whole thing, and uh, you know,

I'm coming back. I'm like, no, I'm okay, you know, yeah, I'm just gonna gonna ride this thing out. It's just a slump. We all go through slumps, right, Danny, you know, looking to see here? Nothing to see here? Yeah, I mean it's like the first eight games. Matthew Stafford was fine and he beat Tom Brady and Russell Wilson in the first eight games, and then now he's gone through

a tough patch. But the good news is that they play Jacksonville tomorrow and so that now, if if they lose to Jacksonville at that point eighty, then uh, then I'm gone. I'm out, and uh I will not I will not look back. Okay, I will say bye bye. I will pack it in for the year and put Mallard Raiders hat back on the greatness of the Raiders. But for the Rams, it'll be yeah, not not good, not good, uh for sure. But what's going on with you, Danny? What have you been up to? We have not caught up.

And we did text a few times to work out some logistical things for the podcast, and you were very good at that, hard working lining up people for the podcast, which I appreciate. Yeah. I love chasing guests down, you know, with Clay Travis, that was one of the main things that I did. Whether it was a guy who was national on all the news programs because he saved his little dog from the grip of an alligator's teeth while

he kept his cigar in his mouth. There would be stories like that where Clay would be like, I want that guy on the show, get him on the show. And I would track the guy down and get him on the show. And I really love to hunt though, because it would be fun actually calling the TV and newspapers you know that put out the stories on whoever was in the news, and then you have to schmooze

these people to get the information on said party. And then once you finally have that, then you have to schmooze the person that's in the news to get them on your program. Yeah. No, it's it's the chase, right, It's just like dating Chase. Yes, that's a lot of guy loved the chase. And then when you actually find someone, you're like get old board. You're like, wait a minute, I found somebody, and I want to I want to go back and Chase. I want to be out in

the in the jungle out there. Yeah, the chase was really cool, though it would take days. Some guests it would take weeks, like he wanted Carol Baskin on, and you know, because she was on Dancing with the Stars and he got a kick out of that. And I said, I'm gonna get in touch with her. So I did. I found an email for her, and as you can imagine, she was really um. She doesn't trust many people, and yeah she was gun shy. Gun shines the white right way to put it. Uh. So I had to ben,

I had to become a friend. I emailed back and forth with her for like two weeks. By the time the whole process was over and I booked her for the show, we were texting each other like we were buddies. Nice. Yeah, she has to do it. She has pictures of my cat Mac Carol Baskin. As we go out, one positive is at least you've got a catch phrase, Danny g who set this up. I appreciate you coming on. Would like for you to say, hey are you cool cats

and kittens? As we as we had out. Actually I should have started with hey are you cool cats and kittens? Isn't she's suing Netflix of over the new Tiger King thing that's out or is it out yet or is it coming out? It is out? Yeah, I was gonna tell you got to watch that on Netflix. I'm a couple of episodes in Okay. Obviously can get her book, but I I really don't think she's gonna talk to anybody anymore, not with a pending lawsuit I had. I had an in with the guy through some friends of mine,

the guy suing the Angels. I think the lawsuit was kicked out, but it's really been refiled. There was a the guy that paid the price. He was the clubhouse guy for the Angels that was rubbing up the baseballs and and and helping the pictures with Sticky the tack, the special that wasn't even spo it wasn't Spider Tach. It was some special goo he had come up with with with the Angels years ago. And he was like, all these star players were, you know, turning to him

to get the stuff. And then when Baseball decided to crack down on the Google, they fired him. They got rid of this guy, and uh, we were gonna have him on and then it didn't. The lawyers got in a way because there's appending a legal system, a legal situation, so he couldn't. It's hard to book a fall guy. Yeah, yeah, that guy was the toy. I mean, I I remember I covered the Angels a lot like way back like in the Stone Age, and this cat was out there

back then and everyone loved him. And this is back in the nineties and so, and he just got let go a couple of years ago. He was beloved, and we actually saw there were some guys that played in that era Whilely Joiner and a few other people that came out defending the guy and went against major League Baseball, which was which was rare usually want to break the code or whatever, but some guys did that back in

the day. So what's really interesting about Carol Baskin in her story is that there have been some documents that have come to light that are showing that maybe her ex husband is alive in Costa Rica. This murderous, cat loving woman that everybody likes to just assume did something really bad. Uh, there's some other thoughts out there now that, oh, maybe that dude's alive in Costa Rica living a secret life. Because the second season has shown her ex husband was

kind of a shady guy. It looks like there's so many layers to that story. Man, they could have probably four seasons of that show. Yeah, I know the alternative reality. That's where I would go Costa Rica if I needed to go. I've heard it's beautiful. I used to have guys that were fans of the show that ran illegal sports books in Costa Rica, and they were pen pals of mine. And you know that's where Tupac went. Oh, I see he's living. Is that where he's is Elvis?

Elvis is getting old? But is Elvis down there too? His corpse maybe? But maybe his corpse. I thought he was working at a fast food place in Louisville Elvis, And that was when I was a kid. That was the rumor that Elvis was still alive. And Park is alive and well though he's definitely taking people's scuba diving, is he. Have you been to Costa Rica. I've never been to Costa I have not. You know, anywhere where you need a net over your body because of the bugs.

It doesn't sound fun to me. Most of South America, from what I've heard, the bugs are bigger and uh, certainly in the tropical places. Yeah. I have family lives in Florida, and depending on what part of Florida you're in at the time of the year. I mean it's crazy. It's like I see these people living in and that's just Florida, but like South Carolina and parts of Jordan.

These alligators wandering around. You're living with dinosaurs. Yeah, it's crazy, freaking Dinosas I know, there's bears and stuff like that where we live, and a little small bobcats and whatnot, but still crocodiles. Kidding me. I got one other good story for you from this past week. Um. You know, besides radio, the only other job I've ever done has been in education side hustle right now with the school district, and I'm directing a group of kids after school, which

has been interesting. It's something that I took a five or six year hiatus from. But they're desperate, Like these school districts, they need really good qualified people. When I moved to this area a couple of months ago, I applied for some of the job openings because I have some free time. They offered a really good wage, so I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna do that and balance it with all of my radio stuff. So I've been going in and kicking butt there at the school. There was

a kid on Thursday been. Have you ever had a really bad nosebleed? Uh? I have. I've had a few of them. I haven't had one in years. Uh. Last time I got one, I was actually with Tom Looney in Vegas and I got it from the dry the hotel, the dry air in Vegas and all that, and it was a it was the worst one I've had. Like it was like really hot red blood all over the plane. I had to use a napkin, one of those nice napkins, cloth napkin to try to stop the But it's been

a long time. So so a kid, Uh, a kid, did you get punched or did it just randomly start bleeding? Enter Liam, the nosebleeder. It just randomly started gushing. And you're right when it's really bad. It's a maroon color. Oh, it's terrible. It's the worst. So this kid has bloody tissues in both hands, blood on his hands. He's about putting his hands on the classroom wall. No, No, it's like a crime scene, it did, you know? And of course in these COVID days now I'm extra cautious because

the other kids are looking at him just terrified. Yeah, So I'm like, okay, Liam, put those tissues in your pocket, Please get some new ones. So I did the one thing that a really good educator is trained to do. I walked him to the office and made them deal with it. Hey, I got a bleeder. I got a bleeder on Aisle three. Leader coming in hot boy. That's uh so it just randomly just starts bleeding and you just you're just like boom, just like that man. Yeah,

And that's the exciting part about working in education. You have things like that come up every day. One of the reasons why parents love to dump their kids off at school. Yeah, and then you have to be perfect also, Danny, if you make one mistake, the parents will want to ring your neck if you make one. But are they are the kids receptive? You said you're doing it like

an after school type thing. Is that? Yeah? So to enter into the school district and into their union, I am starting as a director for their after school program. It requires your attention on individual kids and then big groups of kids. But it's been fun because, really, besides the in classroom stuff and working on homework with them and all that, we go up to what they call the big field. And we've been doing big two hand touched football games, basketball games. I did a big whiffleball

game on Friday. Yeah, and other kids receptive because I remember when I was in school and every once in a while I had to go to the after school and there were sometimes I was the asshole, and other times there were other kids that didn't want to be there and would just relentlessly bust the balls of whoever was watching over us kids. So you get any of that action, any of the smart ass kids that are like, I don't want to deal with your bull crap. Who

are you? Yeah, it's interesting you say that or asked that because half the week I'm with kindergarteners. Well, the other half of the week, though, I'm with seventh graders.

Oh man, the spectrum from K to seven. There are some big time a holes in that seventh grade classroom, but there's also some cool kids that, you know, like what I've been bringing to the table because I've I've brought like lots of competitive games and different things, and I have a reward system going where I'm basically bribing them legally with candy and chips and yeah, and like David Busters tight style games and tickets, which has been

really effective for the seventh graders, but for the kindergarteners it's a whole different story because you can only give them stickers. And one of the kindergarteners told me last week, I don't want your stupid sticker. He said it exactly like that, I don't want your stupid sticker. At will grow up to run a fortune at some Yeah. And so I was like, okay, uh, you don't have to have my stupid sticker. And one of the other kids

that overheard his comments said, well, I'll take your stickers. Yeah, there you go. Opportunistic. They take advantage of a situation. You're you're on your way exactly. So, yeah, I'm gonna have really good stories throughout the rest of the school's session. Whenember that before Bill Cosby became a scoundrel, he he had a show the Kids Say the Darnedest Things, which I think has been remade. He probably wasn't the first

person to do it. And they just interviewed kids and asked him like questions, like regular questions about life, and then the answers would be amazing. Oh yeah, dude, these are future radio hosts and TV hosts. I mean, I sit down at the lunch table with the kindergarteners when they get out of school. Because their day is so short,

we start them with lunch. The stories I hear while they're eating their lunch been tremendous stories, especially around the holidays, and these kids are telling stories that their parents and family members have no idea that they even observed or took in because I hear things about their parents and and what happened over the holiday. One kid told me, yeah, the power went out during Thanksgiving, so we went over to mommy's boyfriend's house and my daddy got really mad

about that. WHOA how about that? I was like, yeah, don't talk about that at the lunch table right now when it's amazing because kindergarteners. A lot of times at that age, people think that they can just gloss over them and they're not paying attention. But we know this about kids, Ben, they watch everything like a hawk. Yeah, and they that's how they learned right through visual You know a lot of what we learn is from just repeating what we see and what here, and that's why

it's so powerful. You gotta keep these kids off that internet man at social media stuff as long as you can, because it's a it's a rabbit hole, a spready like YouTube. You going there, you see all kinds of wild, wild and crazy. So all right, So the last the last tale I have from the life of Mallord, the files of the life or Mallard. Uh the red light flashing. So I had more bad luck than last week. I had a taryaki sauce situation where the taryak sauce went

crashing down, uh yet again at the grocery store. So the new thing is, I don't really buy the groceries to the whole week. It's just if I don't eat every day, So the days I eat, or if the house needs some food, I'll go out in the morning and get some groceries for the day. Right, That's kind of my thing. And so I've been doing that whatever gets me out of the house. I don't leave the house very much. And so this time I made a quick stop to pick up some lemonade. Of all things,

was picking up some lemonade and some water. I was breaking my fest. I wasn't even actually buy food for the day. We were just taking a break from the diet to eat a meal, breaking my fast. So I went to pick water and ice cold lemonade. So that was the That was the trip. So I stopped by the store to pick this stuff up. And there's this great Mediterranean restaurant that we go to that I love. I I get the chicken schwarma, which is very good. I did. I never ate chicken schwarmer, which is just

like kind of grilled chicken whatever. Not really, I don't know how you describe that. You've had chicken swarmer, right, It's It's Greek exactly, with a side of rice, and it's mildly healthy. And so I'm in in the store. I'm waiting for the lemonade to go with my meal and the water, and they don't have this store did not have self checkout, which is right away of demotion. I enjoyed the self checkout. I'm I'm anti social. I don't have to talk to anyone. I can go and

do my thing and leave. So anyway I have to I have to wait online. So I'm fourth in line, which is a lot to me. It's a lot the time of the day I was there, but I figured it wouldn't take that long because what I did when I get online, Danny's I I look I try to measure what everyone has in their cart and figure out how long it's gonna take the person to get through

the stuff. And there's also you kind of way, do you want to go to a mail checker or a female checker who's gonna talk more you see how they're working with their current customer. Yeah, because if they're moving slow with that one, you know everything else behind them

is gonna take forever. Yeah. And I have noticed, like some stories like this was not at Trader Joe's, but a Trader Joe's, they have trained the checker to quiz you on how you're doing uh and so, And I hate that, but I like the food at Trader Joe's. So I go in there, and my wife says that I should come up with my own material and I should be proactive and ask them questions before they ask me questions, and so maybe I'll I'll start doing this. But anyway, so to get to the point, so I'm

at the store, I'm I'm weighing everything. I'm fourth in line, and the couple checking out at the very front of the line, so they were the very front of the line there. They only had a few items and as they are bagging the stuff up, they get the items, they're ready to go and scedattle and leave the store. And they noticed they get the receipt, and they noticed that they were supposed to get the discount. It was

like seventy cents off and they didn't get it. And so this sets off a chain of events where they contact they tell the person the teller checking them out or whatever you call the person, and then that person doesn't know how to fix it. So then they call the manager. Well, the manager is not available. So it took like five minutes for the manager to come over. And and so I'm starting to get a little boiled up here. This is over like seventy cents. Finally they

sort that out, So okay, I'm through that. Next up as an older gentleman, and uh, he was kind of wearing some religious garb. I don't need to get into all that. Good for him, but he's got all he's got a few items in his card, and this chap goes to pay. For some reason, he wanted to split bill. I don't know why. Maybe he was buying groceries to somebody. Whatever,

you want to split. So half the groceries he had and then the other half, which is an an inconvenience, right, So but the first half fine, he gets the groceries, he pays half to build, no problem. Uh, then he punches the other groceries come through, and then he punches the card in again for the second half, and like the red light starts flashing, pulsating right, there's a buzzer for it would not go through for the next ten minutes.

I'm not exaggerating when I say ten minutes. This guy kept punching in the e b T card, which is I guess the Electronic Benefit Transfer card order. It's for if you're down on your luck, you're getting government money.

He uses EBT card, So he was using this to pay for the bill, and there was no money in it, but it's he kept repeating it, and he'd used the money on the previous half of his rosetrees like for the next ten minutes, the guy keeps punching the card in the whole thing, it's like groundhog Day, and punches the card in. The teller says, sorry, sir, there's no

money coming through. Rinse wash, repeat, and I am sitting there, I'm like, what is how long is this gonna continue, I I only want lemonade and a ling of water, and I want to get out here. And so finally the woman who's third online, I'm fourth online. The woman who's third online, she gets even more upset than me. She's so piste off this lady. She goes into her purse, grabs her wallet, grabs a lot of cash and like hands it to the teller and says, hey, pet pay,

get rid of this guy like that. And uh so she paid for the guy's bill. And the crazy thing Danny's the gentleman, the older gentleman. He kept punching the e b T card in. And then finally the guy that was checking out doing the grocer, okay, sir, it worked. Let him. I think the guy fix that finally worked the seventieth time or the sixty fifth time, whatever it was, he punched punched his EBT card in. So there you go. Fun fun at the grocery store. Good times, wonderful times.

Under appreciated job the cashiers there at grocery stores, because I would want to punch somebody in the Adams Apple. Yeah, I think I would be pretty good at the grocery. I think I put stuff on the shelves. I think I'd be good at stocking the grocery store. I don't think I can hear. Like if you think of like hard job, like fast food, rush hour, fast food insane. Uh. And you know we've talked about that. I had Alex Tysheron.

He worked at In and Out Burger, In and Out Burger at afternoon or even late night when people want their their burger and their fries animal style to madhouse in those places. Yeah, I think about that when I go to Starbucks once in a while, because the lines are so long there and people are in such a hurry. I'm like, man, I would be messing up the coffee orders left and right. Yeah, and how many different I'm not a coffee drinker, as you know, Danny, It's one

of my great things. I don't drink coffee. I've never had a cup of coffee. I've smelled coffee and that's fine. Uh. But how many different coffees the Starbucks sell. There's a lot, but the one the location nearest me, they're out of half their menu every day or Yeah, I've gone there. In fact, that was there a few days ago in between classes. The two food items I tried to order back to back, Oh, sorry, we're out of that, and for the coffee up, we're out of that kind of milk.

So I wound up paying ten dollars for something I didn't even want. That sucks. Yeah, supply chain issues. It's off the coast of California in a boat now, the l a harbor there. It's that's what the girl was trying to blame it on. And I looked at her and I said, actually, I blame you, and said it with a straight face, and she didn't even realize I was joking. That's funny. Yeah, I go, my wife goes to Starbucks and she'll get me that. I like that

peach lemonade thing. And I don't even really like peaches, but I like the taste of the peach lemonade. It's really I was standing, all right, we will put the baby to bed here, Danny, and we get to know, Now, what's a just a five dollar Starbucks card? Well? Yeah, for the for the well, my wife would love it more than she gets all the different coffees. I bet you there's only even though Starbucks has It's kind of

like my my theory on Deli's. You've ever been. You've been to Canters in l A, Which is right, you've been. It's got a million items open twenty four hours a day, but I bet you people only order a select, finite amount of items at the deli, just like at Starbucks. I have a million different coffees, and I bet you eighty five nine of the orders are pretty much the same within a span of like five to ten coffee.

It's kind of like the television channel thing where people have a million TV channels back in the day when they have satellite and they only watch like thirteen. Yeah, it's like, how many websites do you go to? You probably don't go to that, man, there's a billion websites, but you probably have a few that you'll check out.

So it's same same concept. Anyway, have a great rest of your Saturday, and if you have not liked the podcast, please do that right now, Tell a friend, Tell a friend, And I'm on cameo as well if you want to personalize cameo. Holidays are coming up. I can't think of a worse present than a cameo from me, can you Danny? My God, what a horrible present that would be. But if you want one, Uh, if you know somebody that's a big fans, super fan of the show, cameo dot com.

Ben Mallard on there and it's not free, but it's not much money and I don't I'm not raised my rate in a while. Anyway, have a great day. We'll talk to you next time.