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Nov 14, 202048 min
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Episode description

Story time returns with Ben and it's an ode to Benny vs the Penny. Working remotely has its pros, but sometimes those cons reign supreme.

Make sure to subscribe, rate, and post a review on iTunes whenever you get the chance.

Engage with the podcast by emailing us at RealFifthHour@gmail.com

Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and on Instagram @BenMallerOnFOX

David is on Twitter @DavidJGascon and Instagram @DaveGascon

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm PACIFICO. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of hot takes, break free or something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere coast to coast. There

are no borders. When you do a podcast, it's available. You know this. You're listening to the podcast right now eight days a week because four hours not enough on the Overnight a podcast which originally was a weekly podcast. And then for some reason we determined that we need to do three podcasts a weekend. So we have Friday, a Saturday, and Sunday Sunday Sunday, so this is the Saturday podcast. You already knew that, and we do. Thank

you bringing out. Thanks also to Brad Sham again who was with us yesterday, the voice of the Dallas Cowboys since Rogers Staubach was calling, was playing quarterback. He was calling those games back in the in the nineteen seven so it was cool to hang out with him for a few minutes and also just drop a bunch of names after that about people I've run across who are famous broadcasters, and I am like a teenager talking about their favorite band. Uh, that's how that goes. Welcome in

here for this podcast. Here West of the four oh five, David Gascon's here. He is his own sound effects like a douche bag. He was actually coming in on the douche Canoe. And today's like, you know, I got a got an audience here at work because I actually drive into work. I don't have fanboy is that slurping and suck up to you every so often? But you know it's a different listen. I'm a man of the people. Guess can I'll go on, I'll go to a truck stop.

I've dodged a lot lizards, and I'll hang out with fans of the show one on one just to catch up, because that's how I role. I'm not some name dropping snob like yourself. We can go back to the audio from yesterday if you like, can talk about name well, I was telling stories though. That was telling stories. That was not being a Bragget like yourself, Mr lady. I wasn't telling any stories about celebrities and sportscasters that I was hanging out with that Laker games or Clipper games

or things of that nature. That's fine. Yeah, well listen and we all know who is the drama queen on the show, who is high maintenance, who is the attention for David? Yeah? Yeah, it's uh, it's so eloquently put, especially when we have a chronicle of mishaps for Ben Mally, not David Gascon. Oh my goll bladder all the roof of my mouth up. Oh my car Oh traffic, Oh what was it? Oh? I don't get enough airtime. I don't get to ask enough questions. I have to drive

into the radio station. Oh my god, it's so hard. Oh I have to take my carriage, my horse and carriage into the radio station. It's so terrible. I couldn't be attacked by someone with a pitchfork on the side of the rule of drama. Yeah, David Gascon. To be fair, there there is boards that are boarding up the windows of the studio around here, so I know you haven't been here, but we have so we had some mandated stuff prior to the election that they started boarding up

buildings and windows in the area. And they're still boarded up. Yes, oddly enough, they are still boarded up as we So there's no view of the street now it's all covered up. Well, there's a view of the street, but on the opposite side of the building. Yes, everything's boarded up like we're connected. Oh you know. I actually I was actually there. I had to pick up my mail. I went over the weekend. I wondered what was I thought somebody had broken that

window in the courtyard. Yeah, because there's a there's a nice showcase entrance into the Geico Fox Sports radio studios there the I Heart building and at the Premier Networks, and I saw I thought somebody must have broken that by accident or something. No, now that you tell me, that makes sense that they just put that up there to avoid it being broken by hoodlums. Now do you think that that will be removed after a couple of

weeks in the January, Uh? Yeah, I would think when the next president is sworn in, whether that's Trump again or something. Looks like it's gonna be Biden. Then they'll have a h they'll take it down. They'll take it down at that point, right, why would they leave it up? I didn't know though. Every time I every time I've gone, I haven't been there much over the last few months,

obviously this is March. But every time I've gone, there's these lunatics across the street at the galleria, screaming in hanging on drums and get a damn job, get a life, you losers, complaining about every time they're complaining about something. And I don't know what they're I don't even know what they're complaining about it. They're just not They're screaming

and shouting and yelling, and I mean, my god. Now, the last time that you came into the studio, did you pick up a certain bottle of bourbon or whiskey? And you know it's funny, but I did not. And uh we you know this, listen. We love the Malley Militia. I love them more than you guess, gun um. But it's it's a goose chase with the mail. He goes, there's you go to, there's a drop off point for the mail. Then there's the mail room which has like

the mail for every one of the Premiere networks. So you go in there and there's stacks of mail for Limbaugh and Hannity and all these big Premiere Network stars, and then there's a little wee bit pile, a little bit for people like me, but you have to find it's like you try to find, and there's all the executives that work at the company and all that. So I went in. I went in to get the bull jerky, which I was able to do. But I found a few things, a lot of stuff from like Gordon in Tacoma, uh,

and Alph the alien o Pinter. If you want some dill pickle dill pickle chips, uh, he sent a big box here. Uh. You know, there's a little candy which I'm trying to stay off of right now, a little too much that I overdid. Uh. And then there's like some potato chips now. But I did not find the bourbon. And also there was a guy that said he was gonna send me a hat and he told me and I didn't see that either. So you don't let me know if you actually some of my people said we're

gonna do it, and they don't do it. I understand, but just let us know if you actually do it, because I I have to track this down and it's not it's not that hard, but it takes a little time, and so you know, let me know. But I did not get the bourbon, and we have not heard from the Power of Couple in Kentucky here the last couple of weeks via email the questions. I don't know if they're they're busy doing other stuff here. Hopefully they're okay,

maybe they're making babies. You can make babies and still send a question, and you know, let's in the podcast can listen to the podcast while making babies. That'd be kind of cool. I think that's a lot of women enjoy listening to the podcast a little as a little ask Benn and while you're procreating. Yes, yes, exactly, exactly exactly. So anyway, on this podcast today, you've got you Gotta be joking and Tommy points. In addition to that, we

will also have a pop quiz. Alright, pop quiz, Yes, yeah, sound good? All right, So we'll start with you gotta be joking. So last night we did Benny versus the Penny, an iconic bit started on talk radio. Move to the podcast now it's on it's a standalone YouTube show. I think one of the great up and coming YouTube shows. It's upboard and onward for Benny Versus Depending. The audience

is growing every week. We're building our base. We're building our foundation for bigger and better things with Benny Versus the Penny. Now we've got professional production. Yeah, we've got a major network television quality with the graphics and all that. So it's really cool. But on Thursday, Thursday morning, when I got done with the radio show, I opened up a file on my computer and I clicked on it, and this is where I keep my my notes on

Benny Versus the Penny, like little game notes and stuff. Uh, and I got a very unwelcome surprise. So I mean, I'm a methodical handicapping style. Uh. It's kind of like a cow grazing in the prairie. I'm slow and sturdy, and I believe that wins the race. So it's my method to the Mallard madness. And so I get ready. I'm very meticulous and I have a little chicken scratch

that i'll take notes. I start usually on Tuesday kind of looking ahead, doing some handicapping, and I'll go through slowly, you know, randomly throw some things together that I think might happen in the NFL, which is amazing because I could probably just do this without any prep and do as crappy as I've done. But anyway, so it's a

hobby of mine and you have a workman like approach. Well, Thursday morning, I clicked open the notes which I've been putting together for a couple of days, and I was gobsmacked. I was flabbergasted. It was all gone. There was nothing left. I don't know. I must have I was tired. I must have clicked the wrong button. And it was like a bad magic act. Presto abra cadabra, and I had made it through. I don't remember exactly how many think it was like six or seven of the games. This weekend.

I had put some notes down that I had for the for the games, and all of that blood, sweat and tears gone, gonzo. It all vanished like a fart in the wind. It was. It was so I I had to scramble at the end of the week there. I know not to that I'm asking for sympathy, but I had to scramble to make up. I was trying to remember what I had, my my thoughts that I

had jotted down for the games. I didn't remember most of them, which I'm happy about, but um I always like to have that, you know, just in case I forget. So it's a little bit different because unlike shows that we see on television and maybe even on radio, certainly not on the digital platforms. But you're the only nerd that actually takes every fucking game, which is remarkable, Like you, every single guy. I don't bet every game though, I want to be cleared on that, but I will handicap

every game. I will handicap every Yeah, usually like no, here's the picture of the week, top five picks. You know, that's it, and that's what you should do. Because if you do that, that's good to then you avoid having to talk about you know, like the the New York Giants. You don't have to talk about the New York Giants and there their situation with Eyes Philadelphia, that's you know, that's a crap game, or you know, the mismatch games

or Washington Detroit. You wouldn't have to worry about that. Um So, but yeah, that was my week here with with the preparation for Benny versus the Penny little little blood, sweat and tears, and Benny versus the Penny, which looks cosmetically a lot better. Did you get much praise with your Yes, it looked a very good professional network television green screen, and I saw that I can use that on Zoom and I can use that on some other

other things as well. So yeah, no, what was what was the story of week of last week's Benny Versus the Penny? Because it seemed like there was a draw and that was between your green screen and your significant other that ambushed the chat and all of the flocking to her. Yes, yes, they ignored us and were more interested in her and rightfully so more interesting than me. Uh yeah, Well, I think she got in there and

she wanted to be polite. She just wanted to check in and see what's going on show, so she did that and then like people kept asking her questions, so she didn't want to be rude and leave. Even so it turned into a whole rigamor or she let the dogs loose when she said she loves ranch dressing. Well, listen, no one's perfect, so you know it. So this proves that we can and we can hang out opposite to track, as you know, and so he can have Republicans and

Democrats can be friends. And people are like ranch dressing and don't like ranch dressing can be married. That can't happen. It can't happen. We have though, there's like a point of demarcation there. There's a separation between my side and her side with the ranch dressing, and so she she keeps it in a special place away from my food. I don't want my food soiled by the devil's blood, which is ranch dressing. And uh yeah, So that's that's

how we that's how we do it. Is that how you guys cooked too, though, Like if you have and when you guys are preparing lunch or dinner, do you guys actually have separate sides that you'll cook onto that way? You're well a little bit because my wife eats gluten free most of the time, so there's no gluten and I'm a big gluten guy, although I'm cutting back on

that a little bit these days. But uh yeah, So we'll we'll make like a chicken parm or something like that, and she'll use the gluten free stuff and I'll use the evil gluten and and all that. It's not that. I mean, it's like an extra bowl and it's like one extra bowl. So that's fine. Now is your is your I'm glad you approve of that, guest gon, I'm

glad we've got the guest gone seal of approval. No. And I'm just saying, like, in terms of you guys splitting things up, it's not like a house divided where God forbid, Like you're just repulsed by what you know, there's not an actual red stripe down the middle of

the house. There's not liking that. You know the old TV trope from back in the day, right, you know, a couple gets into a fight, and always the TV tropes that you go on the couch, right, the guy always sleeps on the couch, right, And I think about about some of those things. Uh, there's a great website if you want to throw down a rabbit hole. It's called TV tropes dot org and they have all of them.

It's hilarious. It is, it is. They did a tremendous job on that that website, Like any any narrative you want from television or cartoons or whatever, television news. Yeah, they did a great jobs. Wonderful speaking of that in the archives, God rest his soul. But people were showing old outtakes of Alex Trebec over the last couple of days. It's some of the promos he did. I would, I mean,

i'd bust up. But when you hear someone that's so polite eight and sincere talk and then all of a sudden they started dropping f bombs, it's pretty damn good. And so watching Alex Trebek do some of his out takes and just start cussing in the middle of pretty it's pretty solid. Well, the story about Rebecca that I loved, and I had not heard it before, and we mentioned it on the radio show, but I don't think we spent enough time on it. That Alex Trebek was up

to be the Hockey Night and Canada guy. Yeah, and I didn't know that. And if he had gotten that job, he would have never, I would assume, never have ended up as the Jeopardy guy. And no, it would have been big in Canada, and he's a Canadian guy and all that, and so that would have been good. But I mean, jeez, it's like it's like I told the story,

It's like Vince Scully uh. You know, he explained years ago that he wanted to be the guy at the radio station in DC that introduced the President, ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States with the State of the Union, you know, And that was the guy at the radio station at d C got to do that for the whole country and that was a big deal. And Scully was like the back up to the guy. And then he got offered a job by Red Barber. But it's Alex Trebeck could have been a CBC broadcaster

Hockey Night in Canada. Would you turn down your dream job in sports to do what Alex Trebek did for Jeopardy and get paid his salary? Yeah, I if I got offered a game show. Yeah. Reminds me of another story that I heard from Pat Sajack, because Pat was doing local television in l A. And he was like, you know, I don't actually do this game show or not. You know something, Sometimes these things don't work, and sometimes

they do. And he's still doing Wheel of Fortune. You think he was on Channel four News, he would still be doing the Channel four News. It's a it's wild they it's it's him and Vanah White. And then even on the news. I like Colleen Williams and a bunch of Jim Hill. These people never fucking age. Well there's reasons for that, I I know, you know, it's absolutely amazing. I know it's it's a lot of cosmetics. But these people are still humming along and still doing great work

on television. Yeah. But but Pat say, Jack was working at k NBC in the nineteen seventies, and uh, he's I guess he was like a weather guy or whatever. And then he came out for a few years he was like the full time weather guy. And how easy a gig is that at the weather in California? There's no change. Southern California didn't change much at all. And uh and then like in the early eighties, MERV Griffin is like, hey, you wanna you want to host a game show? And uh, yeah he did. I remember he

told the story. I heard the story. I was at Student Ahan's funeral and Pat spoke at student hands fear believe it or not. Yeah, and Pat told the story about how like, you know, he was kidding around about how like stew told him not to take the job or whatever, and you know, he took the job obviously, and the rest is if there was one game show you would love to host, what is that one? Oh Dealer, no Deal, No no, No. I like dealer, no deal. You know what I like? Old school though, No wammy,

no wammy, no wammy. Big money, big money, big money, big money, Press your Lucke, press your luck, exactly right. I love that show when I was when I was a kid, man that was That was it as a kid watching that, oh Man, And then I liked Dick Clark was fantastic. So he did the hundred thousand dollar Pyramid. Yeah, Um, I forget who he is, but he was a host here in l A. And I think he lives in Arizona now. But he used to host Hollywood Squares. Okay,

I don't know. You remember, you know you're talking about set pretty Hollywood Squares when they had the back in the day, like back in the in the seventies, seventies, eighties, nineties. Um, gosh, I'm trying to forget who are trying to remember who it was? I remember Shadows Stevens was on that show a lot, but it was him. I'm trying to think. Uh, I'm not sure. I don't know. At the time, I probably know what the person looks like if I saw him.

But yeah, man, I'm trying to remember. But John Davidson? Was it John Davidson? Now I'm trying to remember now who it was? So those those two games were a favorite named that Peter Marshall. Was it Peter Marshall? No, it wasn't Peter all right, I don't know. I'm not sure who was it. That show hasn't been on in a long time, Hollywood Squares. It was on for a good stretch, right, that was on the sixties and the eighties and the nineties, and yeah, a long time. Why

why don't they bring that? Well, I guess it's hard to bring it back because like everyone's kind of a celebrity these days with the internet. Yeah, that's true, Like it's watered down what a celebrity is, hasn't it? Yeah? Pretty much? So they were a big Gene Rayburn? Is that who was? I don't know. Come on, giving you some good names here, they're they're really good press. Your Luck was fantastic though, Oh you know what I liked? Also was the I forget the name of it. Was

it Dealer? No Deal? Maybe it was Dealer, the one where they would dress up in Halloween costumes and they you know, act crazy and they you know, do you want to take the deal or do you want to take what's behind door? You know, kurta and Number one? Or you know that that show Chuck Woory. Oh Chuck Woolery. Okay, yeah, yeah, all right, yeah yeah, Chuck Woolery. There we go, Bob Barker, of course I remember Chuck Woolery, though, is the host

of that that relationship game show? Thing? Was Love connection? Was that someone was? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, it was. I think it was called Love Connections. I'm pretty pretty sure that was that was his deal back in the day. So we had some good we had some We had really good game shows back in the day. I don't know if they're as as popular now as they used to be. Part of it's just because the the amount of content that's out there. Yeah, there were some great

game shows absolutely back back in the day. Alright, So are you ready for story time? Are you ready for story time? Alright? So, earlier this week, the great Tommy Heinson passed away at age eighties six. I was hoping to get Tommy on the podcast. We had Dick Stockton on uh and Tommy was calling games with Dick Stockton back in the day. But for sixty four years, Tommy Heinson had been an institution for the Boston Celtics in

the Boston sports scene. He was a player, he was a coach, he was a broadcaster, he was a team ambassador. All of that in a bag of chips. And even though he wasn't born in Massachuset, he was born in Jersey. He was bred in Massachusetts, I think in Worcester. And from what I read this the other day, I blew me away. Tommy Hindson was part of all seventeen Boston championships. He won eight as a player too as a coach, and the rest he was broadcasting for the other Celtic championships.

So he was there. He's been there for all seventeen championships. And when I was a kid, my first real taste of the NBA, as I remember, I used to watch NBA against the first I really remember with the NBA Final games that was a big deal, and that was Dick Stockton and Tommy Heinson calling the games. And then I would watch him later on when he did the Celtic games on the satellite and he would b rate

the officials and and he just basically did. Tommy Heinson style was to take what Johnny Most the a Celtic play by play guy done who he knew, and just kind of take his stick and run with it. But are pass in live crossed? One night I had dinner with Tommy Heinson. How crazy is that? Kiss? I had dinner with the great Tommy Heinsen? Where did you have dinner at? I'm gonna tell you the story right now. Settle in for story time with Benny. Are you excited

for story time with Benny? Casually? I'm just kidding, all right, So let's let's go back in the way back machine, the hot tub time machine, however you want to call it. The year was, but it was the very end of it was New Year's Eve, right we were heading into the calendar was about to flip. So this is fourteen years ago. It's been almost fifteen because we're almost at the end of twenty thank god. So the Clippers are playing the Celtics at Staples set Her and having no

life and having no girlfriend. I was freeloading, and I was hanging out. I hung out every night at a different event. I was a basketball hockey during the wintertime, and during the summer, I was at baseball game. So I was hanging out the chicker and press room at at Staples Center. And and so here's and I wanna, I wanna put a cavey on it. This is how

I remember the night. You know, our memories changed over the years, and we remember very little off and but I I remember this because this was an eventful night. And this was one of those nights you kind of remember. Right, there's a few days in your life that you kind of flashback and you're like, you remember fondly. So I was with my guy Lee Klein, who we've had on the podcast The Prince of Darkness Lee Line, and so our our routine at these games. Lee was out with me.

He was running shotgun with me, and so we would hang out in the chicker and press room, showing down on the press, grub, schmoozing, going around. We had a bounced from table to table. We didn't have a normal table. We kind of bounced around with a it. So we're doing our routine. New Year's Eve a game I think started about six thirty, so this is probably maybe we're on four thirty in the afternoon, like between four thirty and like five thirty roughly. Um, so we're doing it.

And and so we're sitting at a table doing our thing, you know, shooting the ship with some of the guys, some of the reporters, some of the writers, the people who worked for the Clippers, and in Pops, Tommy Heinz and Mike Gorman who's the play by play guy for the Celtics, and they just randomly happened to sit down at our table to have their their pregame meal, and so, you know, here's an opportunity, and that Tommy was very reserved and all that, but you know it wasn't intentional.

He didn't know who the hell I was. So anyway, of course Lee started the conversation, you know, asking him about some some Celtics you know, back in the day, and the floodgates just opened, and then we were all

involved in the conversation. It was amazing. Tommy Hinson talked about the early days in Boston trying to trying to make basketball popular and how they were trying to get kids to play basketball in high schools and they didn't have high school basketball in Massachusetts, and in part of the Northeast there and and uh and the other thing. I there's a few things I remember about that conversation

that that stuck with me. But he swore this was hilarious because Tommy was known as just slaying the Lakers when he did the CBS games, and everyone who liked the Lakers hated him, and that's why I like Tommy anyway. So Tommy, we're just having a casual meal, you know, off the record, just shooting the crap and b sing and all that. And Tommy swore at that dinner that the nineteen eighties showtime Lakers was a rip off of the Celtics, that pat Riley had just stolen the Bill

Scharman style of basketball. Bill Scharman an old Celtic. I know he worked for the Lakers as well. But you know, Tommy's giving the whole, the whole Rigamo roar on that, which was pretty funny. He was going into great detail about the Lakers of the eighties and how they were just you know, it was a rip off of what the Celtics did back in the day. It was hilarious.

And uh, and he also told a funny story about Red Arbach, who he claimed, and I know he's told this to other people, but he said, like he wouldn't rip Bill Russell or Couzy, the stars of those Celtic teams. So he just unloaded on Heinsen because the other guys, I forget what he said, like they were the leaders of the team or whatever, and they were great. But you know, so ar Bok picked on him. And I mean the thing that this last like thirty forty minutes

or something like that, it was. It was great. It was awesome and very fond memories of that one night fifteen years ago. Now Tommy in that thick New England accent, uh, just ouzing Boston and all that, just going on and on. And he also all the you know he won the Rookie of the Year, Tommy Hindsen. You know how much he got for that pennies on the dollar two that

was his bonus two bucks. In fact, the story about Heisen is that he the money was so crappy in the NBA in those olden days that when he was offered the Celtic coaching job, he seriously considered not taking it to sell life insurance instead, because you can make more money selling life insurance than coaching the Celtics. That reminds me of the scene from Major League. Hey, it's Charlie Doyle. You want to manage the Indians? I don't know.

I got a guy on the outline for some white walls, you know that old Yeah, what was the great scenes of all time when when you guys were eating? What was his what was his personality? Like? What was this PERSONA was pretty calm. He wasn't like the over the top screaming and shouting. Yeah, it was a very very

calm conversation. You know, it's just reminiscing. And one of the funny things that kind of led into the conversation was on that night Walter Walter McCarty was on the Clippers and that was the guy if you remember maybe you don't, but Tommy Heinson, when he was calling the Celtic games, fell in love with Walter McCarty of all people, and he would yell and cheer whenever Walter did anything.

Who was, let's be honest, a marginal NBA player, right, Walter McCarty and he I know Walter, he would shout and so this is actually pretty fune. So we asked because Walter was on the Clippers at that point. He wasn't backup, he wasn't playing much at all, but the Clippers were playing cells. So we're like, hey, Walters on the Clippers, you're excited. And Tommy while he's eating his you know, chicken parm or whatever they have there, I

forget what they had that night. But Tommy Heinson then explains to us that the reason he fell in love with wal To McCarty is because calling the Celtic games had become boring. Not boring, I don't boring is the right word that he used the right adjective. But the Celtics had a very slow plotting team. Um, the offense had been bogged down. They had guys like Purvis Ellison, Dana Barrows was at the end of his career. That

was like that year of the Celtics. I think they had Dee Brown, who doesn't strike me as a guy that's bogging down the office. But anyway, Um, so Tommy saw Walter McCarty as this young athletic guy that was you know, that's how he liked basketball, Tommy, right, He liked the guys that could run around and and move and and so he just loved the energetic way that Walter McCarty played for the Celtics, and so he completely fell in love with Walter and uh, and so that's

the legend of Walter McCarty. But rest in peace to Tommy Heinsen and uh great broadcasting career and obviously before my time it was a player and a coach. That's as you talk about dying breed and the way of the world with social media and all that. It's hard to imagine, but maybe this will happen that anyone playing today would follow that outlined, you know what I mean? Like, yes, all those year sixty years with the Celtics, over sixty years, Like I'm trying who who would be the equivalent of

a player that's playing today. Someone say, Derek Jeter with the Yankees, but Jeter has already left the Yankees. He's now the Marlins owner. Yeah. The only person I could have actually thought of like that it would have been Kobe Bryant had he been still alive. But then again, with him he went into Hollywood. Yeah, he was in the documentaries and all that stuff. And Manning and Manning

obviously left Indie left Denver, Brady leaves Tampa Bay. You don't have anyone like that in the National Football League. Back to see Brady going back to the Patriots, But I don't think he's gonna He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that's gonna want to go into football. He he wants to sell his quackery. You know, he's got all that TV twelve stuff that he's hat Hawkins, so he wants to do that. Yeah, so baseball, anybody in baseball. Yeah, I don't Mike Trout, but he's an

East Coast guy. When he's done playing, he's gonna go back to Philadelphia or Jersey or whatever and hang out there to his do his thing. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't see anybody in among the fourth for North American sports that would be a lifer. Not even I mean for what Lebron's done. Lebron is already a vagabond. He's been all over the basketball world, and he'll probably I don't think Little Lakers are his last team. I bet you he plays with somebody else before he's he's

done in the NBA. Yeah, I would think he'll go maybe go back to Cleveland, if you know, he plays long enough for his to be in the NBA and the Cavs just conveniently have to draft. Just happened to draft. I don't know how this could happen, look brawny, I'm sure there's no chance of that happening, right, there's no The NBA is not gonna set that up at all. That would be wrong. That would be wrong. That would be the first, That would be a first in NBA history. Yeah,

they never do that kind of stuff. They never ever do that kind of stuff. All right, So we have pop quiz. You want to get to the pop quiz here, you're good for the pop quiz, yes, all right. So these are things I found on the internet, and we'll do a few of these right now on the pop quiz. I have no notice that since we had the Babylon Be on. It's just the Babylon be became popular. You've gone away from b or not to be. Yeah, it's it's two played out. It's too trendy. That's the problem

because west of the four or five guys were trending. No, we were trend setters. Yeah, I have the I have the odds on before I get to pop quiz, have the odds on. You can actually bet on who the next Jeopard, the host will be I saw some of those. I have a full list. I just got sent this. My guy, Jimmy Shapiro sent this from from bet online. If it's George Stefanopolis, I will carve out my eyes. You're a car back, guys. Uh, well, let me give you you want me to give you the guys the

longest shot here. It's always fund some of the names they put on their thousand of one shot. Donald Trump on no Way. Yeah, did you see that Trump? If he he's almost better off. I hate saying losing for him.

And I'll tell you why. Right because Biden comes president. Fine, Trump then gets a hundred million dollar book television deal, he will be he's still eligible to run for president in and he'll just spend the next four years campaigning to be the president in right, So, and he'd make a hundred million dollars doing it, and he's the odds on favorite to win in the r n C in Yeah.

I'm just saying, Alex for financially for him, that would actually be better if Biden becomes president, because then he can make the hundred million, do some television and and then bounce back a few years down, Like, who else do you have? Oprah Winfrey is a hundred one. He's not gonna do that. That's a job. You gotta show up. Joe Rogan sixty six to one. No, he's not. That's a big pay day though, from what he's getting right

now doing his podcasts and of course the UFC. Now he's making a lot of money on the podcast he's doing well. Uh. Aaron Andrews, no way, no chance. Uh. Steve Harvey, Yeah, you can see that. Steve Harvey loves game shows. I don't know if he'd be allowed to contractually to do that, Howie Mandel. Steve Harvey is forty t one. As I said, who else? Uh, let's see here page down. Drew Drew Carey is on this list. Wolf Blitzer is one. I think it's too much of

a similarity between him and Alex Trebeck. Ryan Seacrest is only eighteen to one. Way, Pat say, Jack sixteen to one, can't do it? Neil de gross Tyson, that would be great, he's pretty good. Yes, that would be pretty catastic. Did I say John Stewart? Did I say his name Piers Morgan week? No, Piers Morgan, John Stewart's coming back doing some TV something. He's doing show again. Yeah. Uh, Katie Kuric, No, no,

that's not Yeah. The top three are LaVar Burton nine, George Stefa Stefanopolis at thirteen to four, and the favorite. You know what, the favorite is the No, who's the favorite? Ken Jennings, Ken is the favorite? Yeah? Are you a big Jeopardy guy anyway? No? No, I mean we we when I was young. We were watching because you know, my my mom and dad would like to play along, you know, because they were smart. But I'm dumb. I'm dumb. So but I'll watch it. You know, it's cool, it's

fun show. I feel smart, You really feel smart when you get something right, you feel like, oh man, I nailed that one. Yeah, but they don't usually have categories. I would do well And it is great Dodger relief pictures in the eighties for a thousand, Alex. But when they go the opposite way, though, and they start asking these contestants sports questions and they're not even close. Oh yeah,

how awkward is it gonna be? Though? When they I know Alex Frebec before he passed, he had taped a bunch of episodes, but at some point those are gonna run out. Yes, and oh man, it's gonna be I'm gonna be wild. All right, let's do some pop quiz. Yes, yes, you temperature please. Eight of people say they have never thoroughly cleaned this. What is it their toilet? No, people clean their toilet the microwave, Yeah right, you. My dad loves the microwave. He cannot stand waiting. The food tastes

so much better in the oven. But my my old man loves the microwave. He'll put anything in the microwave. And because he has no patience. Yeah, I don't even really like the microwave. I like to put stuff in the oven because it tastes better. How about this, do you ever microwave cold pizza? No? Because you actually it tastes better if you warm it up in the oven. That I never. I never warm it up once it goes cold. I just keep it cold. Oh, just keep it cold even but if you warm it up, it'll

come back to life in the oven. Okay. So one thing you cannot do this is like rule number one. If you ever have a Gascons Rules of life, take notes. You can never microwave French fries that have gone cold. Oh yeah, there's a lot of things you can't put in the microwave because they taste rubbery and disgusting. Yes, what's the eat what's the food that tastes the greatest. I would say popcorn out of the microwave tastes fine. Yeah,

and that's how you make popcorn. Put the microwave, if you can, put over the stove with the fire and all that. But all right, Americans eat about one billion pounds of this every year. What is it, one billion pounds? I ate this a lot when I was a kid, not as an adult. Walnuts, walmer. No tuna, Oh, tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna. I've been eating a lot of tuna recently, is that right? Yeah? Okay, tuna with mayo or how do you eat your tuna? I just I actually just sear it. I'll go to

your like sprouts or by some ahi tuna. I'll brought by a couple of filets and then, uh, look at you filets of ahi tuna. That doesn't sound pretemptious at all, not at all. It's healthy. Man. I gotta I gotta fix the diet. I can't fucking work out to the fullest anymore. Yeah, I know, I changed my dad sucks. It's not not good bullshit all right. Uh. This was not an uncommon twenty one birthday present in England right up until the nineteen fifties. This was a staple of

English society. What is it? Turned a bride? No, this is so such a English thing getting all teeth pulled? What well? Their legendary just railroad tracks? Oh my god, I just kidding. Does that mean you put the fake teeth in and that's your twenty one birthday present? Oh my god? Alright. This title, the title of this long rather, which was a hit in the nineteen sixties and the nineteen eighties, was taken from a Neon sign on the side of a New York City building. Beat it, beat it.

Uh no, it was money money yeah, and Billy Idol later did that. But the Sean dels back in the end of the day. That was a I assume we would have said money money, but instead they just made it money money. Yeah. Alright. In Switzerland, if you buy this as a pet, you must get to eat, is the law. Um, how about a bird? The bird is the word? No, actually, guinea pig? All right? Guinea pig. You have by two guinea pigs? Why is that? I have no idea. I've never purchased a guinea pig. That's

not what I heard, alright. Fourteen percent of kids want to be this when they grow up. What is it? Um? An astronaut zookeeper? Wow? That does that lead to you being a veterinarian. A lot of kids want to be veterinarians and they want to work in the ocean and work with whales and things like that. But uh, yeah, I'm sure. When I was a little kid, when I my parents take me to San Diego Zoo or something the Wild Animal Park, I was like, Oh, I want to be you know, I want to work with animals.

All right. The most popular show that people watch in other countries to help themselves learn English is Friends. What is number two behind Friends the Kardashians. No, it is the Simpsons, all right, Yeah, the Simpsons. It's good. Yeah, you can learn a lot of interesting things on the Simpsons. Of parents feel guilty when they tell their kids this, no, get off your phone, and like, I feel guilty because they they're on their phones all the time. Right, It's true.

In an online service two thousand people were asked what one fashioned friend would you like to see go away? This was the number one answer. Skinny jeans close, but try again. Not bell bottom? Do you do? Do do do? Bell bottoms aren't in style. They want this to go away. Sometimes I see seventies or the here the eighties anymore? My god, I don't know. I gave you my best answer. All right, the answer is saggy pants, not tight pants. Saggy pants. I haven't seen saggy pants in a long time.

I haven't seen them either, but apparently they're still out there. I remember when that became the big thing, and how everyone was like a gas when the NBA players would show up with their pants down around their ankles, and you know, people get nuts, and David Stern put the dress code in and people are freaking out alan ivers now like if you criticize anyone the way they dressed, they call you all kinds of names. You can't even Oh, you're a terrible human being. You're never supposed to say

anything about the way anyone dresses. All right, almost, they'll do a few more. We'll get out of here. Almost four intent. People believe they can control this. Their diet. Uh, well, but you could control your diet, would you eat? You can know that their dreams dream? Yeah, no, but their dreams you thinking. You know, I'm gonna dream about X, Y and Z or A, B and C and you

can figure it out. I've heard though, usually your dreams are related to what you did right before you went to sleep, Like if you watch something, you'll have a dream kind of related to that topic. Or if you talk to somebody about something, or you you know, what you saw a photo of someone, they'll be in your dream that kind of Yeah, that happens to me more often now than ever. All Right, this tends to happen more on a Tuesday than any other day of the week.

What is it, Um, you get fired? Uh no, I think that's Friday. I've always been fired on Friday, and they make sure you work the whole week and they whack you on But according to A the answer, by the way, is late for work. People are late. Why would they be when you've been late on Monday rather than Tuesday. Now, you guys, stop the tone that you're on time on Monday. Oh so Monday you're on time and then Tuesday you're sleeping you're all right. According to

a news last one. According to new survey, four of us have never performed this very simple task which was a staple of the world for decades and decades. Um, can you give me a hint. It's related to interacting with other human beings. In a way of interacting with other human being, how about shaking hands? Uh? Well, now no one's shaking hands because of the corona. But no, that's not it. Uh. The answer is writing a letter, actual pen paper letter. Interesting, I have done that in

my life, but I'm old. Yeah, have you ever written a letter of pen and pay? I have, unfortunately, and they have not been discarded. I don't think they've been discarded or torn up. But the box you have a box of letters that you've written, like the the old Abraham Lincoln thing right where you have remember that story we've talked about it here where you you get upset with someone and the lost art of the unsent letter, right, you know, you'd write a horrible hot letter, complain nasty words,

and then you put in a drawer and never said it. Yeah, I've I've written and then no, I've written in sense and then I immediately delete. If I've done it on my computer, what you've written and sent. Yeah, so what's the point of deleting and if you already wrote it and sent it because the copy of that, Yeah, I don't want to be reminded of the copy. Oh it's like it's like when you have pictures, Like you have the pictures and then you took them and then all

of a sudden you don't want to remember them anymore. Okay, I got, I got, all right, we get out of here. Yes, okay, all right, Benny versus the Penny. If you have not watched yet, we did the live show on Friday night. We talked about a little bit earlier here, but you can check that out. It's on the YouTube. There's links on my twitter feed if you scrolled down. Giscon tweets it out. You can follow me on Twitter at Ben Mallard.

That's at Ben Maller and also on Facebook, Ben Mallers Show, Instagram, Ben Maller on Fox. I want to personalized video on cameo dot com. Cameo Cameo cameo dot com. You can check that out and find me there. Just type my name in and they love to to help you out and and remember guys on the Facebook page the every Wednesday we will have a solicitation for questions for the mail bag, which we're doing tomorrow, and you can also email those questions in if you want, but we usually

just take them on Facebook. But if you want to email in questions for the mail bag, it's real fifth Hour at gmail dot com and Gascon people can reach you how yes on Twitter at David J. Gascon Uh if you go, that's just a letter J, not J A Y, just a letter J yes yes. And then on Instagram at Dave Gascon. If you want to go and find Benny versus the Penny, just type that in on YouTube. It'll populate, you'll find it, and we're loud and proud. All right, have a great day with catching tomorrow.

Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific

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