Center Stage Spotlight

old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, back at it on a Saturday. It is the Fifth Hour Podcast. As you know, as we are bloviating all over the global reach the vast power of the I Heart network of podcast.

Wherever you get your podcast, you obviously found the podcast, but it's it's available everywhere. It's sensory overload with this podcast, and we are glad to have you. A long yere a good conversation yesterday with Michael McCarthy. I enjoyed that. I don't know that you enjoyed that. But as a sports business nerd observer of the business of sports and media, I could have done another ninety minutes with Michael McCarthy. But we are joined now again this week. Somehow there

must be a mistake. This is like several weeks in a row. He's been here from West of the four oh five. Yeah, don't love him, you hate him, David, that's good man, that's uh, that's a really good conversation yesterday. It was fun. I enjoyed it. I love that kind of stuff, talking about you know, Al Michael's future, Jim Nance, whether he actually controls the Masters. These stories are fascinating to me because I don't control anything, well don't. I

have no power over anything. But these other people that actually have power in sports media, I am. I'm jealous and impressed and all of that. And don't forget what do you even mentioned this to Michael. But we're only a couple of years removed from Tony Romo having his knees chopped out from underneath them because of the gambling and stuff going on in Las Vegas, and you know, all this stuff is now coming together with the NFL, Major League Baseball, the NBA, the ANHEL sports gambling, it's

it's no longer taboo. Yeah, and we we also and you go back and download if you didn't hear the Friday podcast. But we discussed the obvious Komodo dragon in the room here that these sports leagues and television are are side by side, which we've all known, but television in many respects is beholden to the sports leagues, like there's this this this odd relationship. And we also got into the fact that years ago the networks were losing

money and I think they're still losing money on these deals. Um. Michael disagreed on at things said, it's different now, but it was an interesting conversation. But but upward and onward, Gagon, upward and onward. And it's all about us. This is not a podcast, it's an experience. Uh. We have critically acclaimed Hardball, Heaven and Pop Quiz, but let's start with us.

We gave last weekend a masterclass in podcasting domination. Podcasting domination. Now, you know, we have tried over the years, at least I have tried. We've been doing this for a couple of years now. I have attempted to present a professional

podcasting and entertaining somewhat entertaining podcasts. I realized the people are doing crap on the weekends, and you know, the audience is usually smaller for this because you're you're asking people to spend part of their their downtime listening to audio content and usually it's it's it's a tough ask, but we've done pretty good. We've got a loyal fall and we thank you for that. But we've tried to put people on who are upstanding citizens on the podcast.

With the exception of Lenny Dexter, we've tried to put good people on. And we we went to the dark side, right, went to the dark side, and we went on the Highway to Hell, and we had our We had Tim Donneghee on and he turned out to be podcast bullion. Uh unbelievable. The the gambling NBA referew, which I wanted to have on, And I do want to thank a couple of you guys that reached out and said, hey, let's get Tim Donnie on the podcast because he'd be

really good. And I was like, well, yeah, I wanted to talk to him anyway. I'm fascinated by his story and We had a record number of downloads with the Tim Donnie podcast. He is a drawing card. Who knew that Tim Donnie, he had a conversation with him. We're turned into a big, big, massive audience for us. It's good, It's real good. I know that, uh you probably didn't want me, you know, in that same boat with you, but uh, you know, I feel like, yeah, the highest

are you? Are you taking credit? Well? I'd like to think that I have a lot to do because dr Evil, you'r mini me is what you min? I'm a little bit bigger than mini me. And how about that I'm not you know not what I hear? Well, it's it's what you should hear. It's you're being told lies. But anyways, I I digress as because I know you like to put on a good show. And you know what I am. I'm Shrek and you're the donkey. No, I'm Shrek and you're the dog. You're like, you're like Willow, You're just

a little pack. I'm you're Chuaca. You don't have the chrisma, very piece that screams right, that that watches your back, that takes care of you even when you get dropped in carbonite. I get dropped all the time. I'm buzz light here, you're Sheriff, You're Wow, you're Genie and Medford. How about that fucking corpse. This is the last two of three episodes of the fifth Hour, or the highest ever in the show's history. In fact, they were so high, guest Gun, that I was convinced that we had somebody

buying bots to download the podcast. Maybe how that's how, And I wouldn't be against that, by the way, I let against people setting up bots to download the podcast. I don't you know how I feel about the internet, guest Gun. It's all social media, is all the matrix. Take the blue pill of the red pill, do whatever you want there. But I I believe in that. So why I don't know what happened. There's no tangible reason. We tried to find the answer why the downloads were

up so high last weekend, and I have a theory. Okay, My theory is this is that on the on the heels of the week, we typically do this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, as you mentioned, and looking at the two episodes Fridays with Tim donnihe and then Sunday with the mail Bag, that there was residual carry over for me producing your shows Wednesday and Thursday. Doubt in my mind that ears and oftentimes hearts peak. When I'm on your show.

There's more energy in the building, there's more enthusiasm. You actually have more content to cover, you have sound duty, your monologues, and then it all comes together where people either bitch and moan or they sing my praise and throw rose pedals at me. So there was residual carry over from those two days and it was echoed into the to the podcast. So just to recap for those whether you admit it or not, for those of you in the back of the room, the prima Donna is

styling and profiling and taking credits. Yes, the reality is the to fit out with Ben Mallory is not on if if I'm not around so here, I am loud and proud. I know you don't want to give me credit, Eddie credit, not even I'm I'm impressed that you were able to show up, show up to work. It's amazing. Not always. I mean I don't done this with I mean there are people who don't even work in the company anymore, that you know sell air conditioners that I've

done this one, Okay. I mean, let's be honest here, and I'm fine. I'll like, you know, I'm the man of the people, the people, the only guy that listens to this content that doesn't roll out of bed and do his work. And that that is you. You roll out of bed, you do your work, and you roll back in the bed. Everyone. I go into a professional I have to get up, put my clothes on, just like anyone else, one leg at a time. I gotta walk down the hall. I gotta make it turn, I

gotta turn all this crap on. And by the way, it's manual labor. Okay. It takes us like a twenty minute lag time. When I come into the studio and I'm ready, you know, I got my lunch pail and I'm ready to do some talk, some hot talk radio,

and I gotta sit here for twenty minutes. And I'm like, I'm like Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid, you know, training Daniel wax On wax Off, trying to get the damn equipment to work, and uh, and then finally I get enlightenment and it actually works after twenty minutes, is like hallelujah. But it's chopping. What I'm doing is carrying water and chopping wood. It's like that old Buddhist saying, right after enlightenment, carry water, chop wood. Before enlightenment, carry water,

chop wood. I am your enlightenment, Ben Mallory. There's a rejuvenated sense of you and your professional career that you've gone digital. And it is uh. It is tabulated through the metric system of Fox Sports Radio, and it is nice. Though you know you're the white collar guy on the blue collar guy. It is nice. You know. I've had a little bit of a break. I've I've done a lot of the YouTube videos for the company are our guy has been on vacation, so I haven't had to

do it. So so I can. I can sit there in my underwear and through the show. His name is Elijah. Thank you very much for everyone knows Elijah, asshole. Everyone knows Elijah that they learned of him in the Bible. Elijah is great, He's wonderful. Listen, how do you spell Bo Benson's first name? I don't I don't know what asshole. You don't even know who you work with? B e au Bo Benson, and I'll worked with you and produced

a episode of the Fifth Hour. He's tight an entire weekend, the entire weekend go back and he Uh, is that how you've gone through your professional career? You just looked down at everyone that doesn't serve you accordingly, like you spit on them, and then what what? What star here? Let me tell you something. It's it's a great thing here for who It's a lesson I learned from my mom and dad back in the day. You put one foot in front of the other. You keep your head down,

and you just keep moving right. And all the crap that goes on around you, like you're not showing up one weekend or you know, bringing in the air conditioning salesman when the next weekend. What I just do the show. And you know, if you want to be here, that's great. If the other people want to be here, that's wonderful. And uh and you know we'll have fun about some people are better than others. But I keep doing the show. One foot in front of the other, head down, do

your job. I learned that from Bill Belichick. Do your job. But when you outcasted me to you Bakersfield, you said, out cash you that was a great you said, you said, journal everything and life is all about experiences life, It's all about life, It's all about the story. Well, wouldn't you agree the story is better to be shared with people as opposed to buy yourself. I don't know, but I'm an introver. I don't know about that. That's bullshit. I'm an introver, I am. I've always been that way.

I'm inward looking. It's because you have content for most people that you come across. Well, I've been done dirty by some people over the years. I'm not I'm not gonna lie to you. I've had some experiences that have shaped me. Can we address the elephant in the room, Well, it's the Komodo dragon, Rember I changed that. It's no longer the elephant in the room. I think Komodo dragons are very cool. I'd like to go to that island in Indonesia someday that has like nothing but Komodo dragons.

I think that would be really cool. But required to get on a plane. You can't touch them though, because you're like, they got this poisonous google on the Komodo dragons, like they'll their spit will kill you. Well, can we acknowledge the fact that one of the most frugal human beings I know bought a four figure traffic light and on Instagram. What kind of an asshole are you? What kind of Oh my gosh, do you want to hear the backstory on that? Yes, please share that backstory please?

All right. So there's some stuff going on behind the scenes that I will not get into. But there's some relocation possibilities that are going to be taking place here. The Mallard mansion might be on the move soon. So uh in that process, which I will not get into here. Uh, there's been a lot of things that me and the wife have had to do on the weekends to prepare

for that. And she loves going to you know, different uh antique stores and intiking and that kind of crap, Like you know, she loves trying to find cool things that are you know, unique and quirky and all that. So I'm like, all right, I'll go along whatever. So we walked in. It was actually on Robertson in Uh we're in l A h and on Robertson right right there in your west l A and near by the way east of the four H five. Want it being very clear. It was east of the four oh five.

But we walked in on Robertson over there, right near that Taco bell which I used to stop at back in the day. Uh and they had a bunch of random stuff and this, this light, this signal. Just called out to my wife and she's like, we gotta get there, and uh so we did. We bought a traffic signal to hang up in the house. I don't know how we're gonna hang it. The thing weighs a fucking ton, but uh, I don't know how you hang something that heavy. But we'll find a way to hang it up. And

it actually, it actually works. It's a working traffic light. How freaking nuts is that? To the Mallard mansion into a frat house. That's what you're doing? Do it? The thing is, it is a real size traffic light. It's not it's nuts insanity, it's you know, you can stand out a little bit, why not not? Unbelie No, I

think it's cool. I think it's neat. But but but just back to the downloads with with Tim donnahe I think I told you guess we now need to go to the dark side, right, we need the criminal underbelly of sports, and I'm not getting this is not disinformation here. I'm I'm willing to bring on on a bunch of bandits, miscreants, unsavory characters, right, I'm fine with that. The desperadoes. Some would call them human scum. We call them downloading gold. Now, the only way we will avoid this I will see

what the numbers are this weekend. We obviously don't know because we're doing the show right now. Uh. But if the numbers continue to be up and it turns out it's not because of Tim donahe that the spill over from that, and that the numbers are still strong, then we will avoid bringing in the den of inequity here. We will. We will continue to fight the good fight here without going to the Gray Bar Hotel about that. In the process of doing so, you can at least

agree that the guest booking and production has just been tremendous. Like, you know, there's a term in baseball when you're swinging up bats. Sometimes the baseball looks like a b B and you're striking out all the time, and other times the baseball looks like a beach ball and you can't miss. Like I am I'm hitting a like a right four fifty, slugging probably over a thousand. Like I'm in that cleanup spot for a reason. Ben Maller, Yeah, you know what

you are? You I am the guy. You're you're You're in yoga and you're doing the downward dog stretches. What you're doing right now, you're really going out there and nobody else. By the way, I've never done yoga. I just like saying downward dog. I think that's a fun for used to say. Yeah, a little bit sketchy right downward No, Yeah, that's great for long time. You've done yoga your West of the four Old five. I've tried

Bickram yoga in Manhattan Beach. Yeah. They raised the temperature in the room to over a hundred degrees and it's it's like you're doing yoga and asana. I did it with women that were a fraction of our size, and they'd crush it like ninety minutes long. And these women, I mean, the we're hot, but they were older, and you get intimidated. I mean there was two guys in there. Me and one other guy looked like a basketball player. He was like six seven, six eight and he was lengthy.

I stood in the back the way. Problem is that in studio is filled with mirrors, so you have no escape. So if you're out of gas, you tap out. Everyone's looking at you. Remember gas gun though, it's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight. Yeah. That's why. That's why I'm a perfect compliment to you, because at times you're spineless, you're sleeping nothing. And uh I had a buddy of my years ago who hated yoga but did yoga just to

meet women. Uh and would complain about how what he hated it, but you know, it was a way to meet women, so he would You know, guys will do anything to meet the women when you're a single dude. I mean, he was in better shape than I was, you know, but that's not hard you know. So, but I wouldn't call him, I wouldn't confuse him with like Adonis or anything like that. I would I wouldn't go go that far, but fair enough. Yeah, anyway, Uh So, I didn't want to bring up this hard ball heaven things.

So I did a Mallard monologue award winning Mallard monologue this week about the start of baseball with opening Day happening back on Thursday. And you know, I went through all the major leagues and I eliminated twenty three teams. There was only seven teams that have a chance to win the World Series. And the Mallar militia. There's a contingent. There's an arm of the Mallard militia that loved them baseball. They love them some baseball. Now, it's not a large contingent.

And I I'm sure at some point the bosses will call me into the office and say, hey, you should shouldn't be talking about baseball. What are you doing? You're you're doing old guy radio. But I like baseball. I talked about it from time to time, not too much. I still mostly do football and some basketball. But we did a baseball monologue and people the feedback was really good. In fact, Robbie, the Mariner fan, he said, how about

a baseball podcast every week or every other week? Do like a hard oh hardcore baseball poctice Now he recommended with Roberto, not you. He didn't want you part of the parties. He wanted Roberto to be part of it because he doesn't think of you as more like a baseball guy. He thinks of Roberto is the baseball guy, and you're not really the baseball guy. I'm I'm a huge baseball guy. Played baseball in the college. Baseball has been my one of my first loves. I I was

outcasted by you to go to Bakersfield covering baseball. What this was great advice. I have a story. I worked with a story to tell you work cornered, rattlesnake, you had, you have a story to tell. No, I worked for the Seattle Mariners class or advanced a affiliate. That's that's a little odd. That's interesting that he brings that up because earlier in the week, Um, I had wanted to call and talk to you and talk to you about baseball as as a particular subject. And um yeah, no response,

no return phone call. Um still while I was sleeping, How am I supposed to four o'clock in the afternoon. I'm sleeping. That's bullshit. You're usually awake at eleven or twelve o'clock Pacific. Yeah. Yeah, un listen, you don't need to give my my schedule out here, my dirty laundry. Yeah, I don't think any want to do that. But I was thinking since this is the Saturday podcast. I was thinking, Hey,

how about we do a test run. Maybe we can start this next week and give pop Quiz a hole, you know, do like a no not this week in baseball, because the problem is we're gonna have to keep this a little bit kind of not generic. But it's got to be a little evergreen when you talk about baseball. Because the podcast, there's a lag time from when we do the podcast and when it's it's available. We can play around with it, we can test it out and if the downloads are good, we can keep it going.

How about that, Well, why can't we go back to YouTube? Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. What do you mean? That was great? It was interactive check, great graphics check we could bring in that was all a check. But the chi ching chiching I didn't get out of that.

You know, I'll point out there was you know, no monetization. Wow, kind of works like this right, Well, see how that works. I get, I get, I get a little money at it, not much. Not so if I got paid what we should get paid here for people he's dropping in here and spying on the on the conversation, then it would be some real money. Yeah, well, I mean I would. I guess I'm a part of that too, right, So, okay, he's just writing my coat and you have no shame.

I'm providing a service, am I not? I am doing work, am I not? You're the Mallard gravy train guy. There's gonna go on the Mallord gravy train today. There's at least got to be a home destination, right, Like I'm I'm buying the dough, I'm buying the pepperoni, I'm buying the cheese. What's wrong with having a slice? Well, you do bring a lot of cheese here you doing? What's what's wrong with bringing that love? And how about this little constructive criticism, a little tough love. How about be

more relatable to the to the common person. How about that I'm exatremely relatable. I'm not. I'm younger, I'm hip, I watch movies, pop cultures. You're proving exactly what I was saying here. I am. I. I am the person where if you're a burger flipper, a truck driver, a hay seed, uh, you know you're an outdoor has been, a small town hick. You don't even own a gun? What the hell are you talking about? You don't know whether I own a gun or not. I just don't

advertise it like you do. How about that? Maybe I own a ton of guns? How about that gas guh? I have a hard time believing that. Well, because I'm such a monster and I'm so much bigger than you. Why would I need one? Right, I'm a beast over here, Look at me. I'm a based over here. Jesus. All right, anyway, let's get the pop quiz. We we are up against it,

as they like to say in the podcast business. So these are actual random things that I found around the Internet which I think are interesting, and I am going to share them with you, and I will quiz gas gun, and then we will make him look silly, and then we will give you the answer because he will be oblivious to many of these answers, and we will enjoy his ignorance, as he is blind and deaf, to all

of these questions. All right, Uh. New survey asked people to name the one thing in their home that does not work, and this was the most common answer. What is it, I'm gonna say a clock clock, right, primitive answer by you. That is incorrect. It's incorrect. This is this does not work at the Mallard mansion. By the way, this is also broken to the Mallard mansion. It is an ice maker, yea, the ice maker and the refrigerator.

And I love a nice cool glass of water. I drink a lot of water, and I like my ice in my water. But we what I've had to do is I a couple of years ago, I got those ice trays because the ice machine stopped working. It's and and so I just used the ice and the trays. But you know, you actually burned calaries when you drink cold water. Yeah, same thing with taking a cold shower. I don't do cold showers, but I do the cold water. I like the cold water there. But the ice maker,

that's interesting. It's been over a year, right that it hasn't worked for me. Yeah. Uh, the ice maker has been broken for like two years. Yeah, it's been and we tried to fix it a couple of times. It's like you go on YouTube and you gotta get like a blow dryer, and you've got it because there's ice on the back of the ice maker and you've gotta it jams the thing up, and so then you you think, well, why would that matter because it's an ice maker. Shouldn't

there be ice on an ice maker? And no, you can't have it there because that's a problem. So you gotta blow the hot air in. But then that you've got to leave the refrigerator open, so then you expose the food to the warmness, and then the fridge starts making sounds and buzzing and all that because it's been open for too long. And then when you finally get the ice off the thing, then all your food's expired and gone bad and starting to smell, and so it's

a bad situation, all right. Moving on, A gambling obsession is responsible for this food invention. Wait repeat that one more time. A gambling obsession is responsible for this food invention. Now this goes back many, many years, but one of the most popular foods over hundreds of years was actually invented because of an obsessive gambler. Come on. You should know this story. Come on, come on, chop top. Yeah, I don't know pizza. No. Have you ever heard of

the fourth Earl of Sandwich John Montagu? I think it's how you say the name. But this is in the seventeen hundreds in England. The guy was such a degenerate gambler. Okay, the legend has been confirmed by food historians. This guy was such a lover of gambling. He did not want to get off the card table. He would spend hours, this is in the seventeen hundreds gambling my kind of guy here, and he would he would binge for hours

and hours. But he also wanted to eat, so he told the house cook, Being the Earl of Sandwich, he told the house cook to to bring him something he could eat without getting up from the table, and the sandwich was born. Now, there is a conspiracy theory that I read that the Earl of Sandwich had actually gone to Greece and travel degrees and seeing that they had kind of a you know, kind of a version of the sandwich, the Greek version, and he actually advised the

cook to make something like that. But some the great things we all know, Earl of you don't. But we most of us know the earl of sandwich story. We have no idea who the actual person, the peon in the kitchen, who actually made the sandwich, the first sandwich, We have no idea who that is. But it was because of gambling. So if you enjoy sandwiches, you should thank gamblers. Interesting, all right. A new report says shoplifting from grocery stores increased last year. The thieves took this

item more than anything else. What is it? Um, you don't go to Walmart west of the four or five. You don't go to Walmart. That's true. Below water, bottled water. No, this is odd to me. I guess it makes sense, though, raw meat, How would you shoplift that? Though? Yeah, you put it in a crevice in your body. They're a nice rip by shove it up. You took us. I just think with bottled water, you can get the you get all those the packs, you can put it underneath

the cart and then never just show it to the cashier. Yeah, I'm surprised there's not tons of shoplifting. I go to Walmart and they have the self checkout thing, and like, I know, there's cameras everywhere, but how do they not like if you're buying something, you know you can buy two or three items and then sneak a fourth thing. Yeah, well, don't forget. You can get away with all that stuff as long as it's less than a certain dollar. Mount in San Francisco, so or l a with your your

is it your uncle? That's the district the terms no relation now alright, justin and Cincinnati said, you guys related, he's a fing idiot. You wanna go you wanna go on with that? Alright? U. A high school senior created this piece of artwork. It's part of Americana that you see nearly every day. A billboard. No, the current design of the United States flag. A high school senior created what is our flag? Will be that flag until President Biden adds what Puerto Rico? And who else is a Cuba?

That DC? There you go DC, Yeah, alright gets canceled allogether. Yeah. I think we should just like take all of North America. Should like we could take Canada, Mexico, make it all part of America. What do you say, guess on the entire reason? Well, all of hon Doris will make Hondoras part of America. How about that? Boy, No, I can't do it. Given enough time, you know what's gonna happen. Given enough time, we won't be around. But a recent survey says roughly one in five people keep one of

these at work, but not at home. Only at work, not at home. What is it? Um? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do don daily planner? All right? No? Uh?

Candy dish candy dish. Interesting. Yeah. When I had my very brief television career at the fledgling NBC Sports Network, which is going out of business because they got rid of me, they had massive piles of candy all over the NBC Sports building in Stanford, connecticutmongous, humongous battle piles of candy, right, And I asked one of the senior producers at NBC. I said, why, I lost a lot of weight and you are really tempting me here because

I'm sitting around. You know. We had to stay for the West Coast Games to end and tape the show and it was a big pain in the ass. And I said, what what are you doing to me? I'm gonna get fat again because you've got candy everywhere? And he explained to me that they did that intentionally because when people did have to stick around there a long time and wait for games, it was a lot of downtime wait for games to end, and so the candy gave him with sugar rush and kept people away good.

So that's why they had the candy all over the place, a little snicker bars and all kinds of crampings. And I did actually gain some weight during that time. Was double fist and butter fingers. You know, I was going for it. It was. It was good, all right. Uh, when I noticed at Fox Sports Radio they do not leave piles of candy around the building. Now, they don't leave anything around here. Yeah, when it comes to our morning routine of us do this smoke a cigarette? Uh? No,

it lay close out the night before. Ever you ever do that? No? Never, I did. My mind when I was a kid. My mom would do that when I was young, But I don't never I've ever done that. I go in there and like, I have no no plan as you know, and I'm a pretty good fashion Easta as you know, guesscount, but I don't really plan it out. You have a hat and you have pajamas. That's about the gist of the malory attire during the work week. Yeah, you don't need to be jealous. There's fine.

Someday maybe you'll become important. Could happen important to certain people, your parents, I'm sure, all right. A new survey says nearly one in three adults have not tried a new one of these products in the last five years. They just keep using the same product for five years. What is it? Something associated with the summer? The summer? Um? What the summer? I don't know. That's be a bathing suit. Okay, now, I'm happy to report my wife believes in buying new

bathing suits every year. So I don't know, I don't know. She just like you, you know, you gotta look good for the summer. Bathing suits are expensive too. Well, my father in law has a pool, so we spent a lot of time at his house during the summer and with my sister in law, you know, the in law as were hanging out. We all get along. We have a good time. We have fun, fun under the sun. Yeah, I'm I'm laying in the pool like a beached you know, beached whale and uh, you know, doing the whole thing.

So it's fun. Alright, majority of people haven't changed this in three or more years. What is it? I feel like you've asked that before. Okay, then you should get it right right away. I think go. I think what I said last week was toothbrush is we didn't have this last um maybe two weeks ago. But um, they haven't changed it in three or four years, three years, three years, three or more years? Um, their job. No, the voicemail message on there, Yeah, you did ask that

last did Yeah. I wasn't listening. Uh, and you didn't even remember. This makes it you're even You're looking even worse than I. That's a bad job by you. You know you said that last week, but you didn't even Oh, Mike, I wasn't listening. Alright. Let's see a new report says it takes an average American about four months to finish one of these What is it? Four months to finish these? A book? Two? Toothpaste? Wait? Wait, what the hell? You asked this like you said this last week too. No,

I did not, you did. I did not. I had a different toothpaste question. But I did not have four months to finish a two with toothpaste. I had no, I have no idea until I saw this. How dare you accuse me of repeating content here? And you're some of your colleagues are rubbing off on you. All right, over half of all Americans who sell their home take these with them when they move. Uh, the house keys, light bulbs. How fucking cheap are you if you're taking

light bulbs when you move? Come on, it's a joke. All right, that's it. Guess we got it. We got the mail bag. Gotta leave a lot of good time for that Sunday mail bag. So download this podcast, support our podcast, review our podcast, Tell a friend, We thank you, We thank you. And even though we have corporate overlords, this is like the pirate ship. They kind of you know, they were in the shadows of these parts. So anyway, have a great Saturday, Enjoy the baseball, the basketball, the

Final Four, the whole thing. We got. We got content on Easter Sunday Gascon. How about that unbelievable We'll be back with that. We'll catch you then,