Cast Away

with Ben Maller starts right now that it doesn't. We are in the air everywhere the vast and ever expansive power of podcasting, the global reach that the mala most. We have international listeners. We have people all over spainning the globe that have tuned in here eight days a week this our Sunday podcast because four hours are not enough. And we are back at it again, and I want to thank all of you guys that have supp order the show. Here. This podcast we started, we said if

nobody listens, we're not gonna do it. We started doing this podcast one day a week, and then people liked it, that the numbers were good, so we said, screw that, let's do it two days a week. That we did it three days a week, and that's where we are right now, three days a week doing the podcast. But cameo dot com you want the show that way, get a personalized video message. You can do that, uh and I'll send that out also on Twitter, Ben Maller Instagram,

Ben Maller on Fox and Facebook. Ben malls Show and now meddling with the quality work here and I'm sure he will be convenching about something. David Gascon affectionately known as Gagon is right over there. The Schmendrick is making his way into the studio. I am here, I am loud, I am proud. I might say too that I'm pretty tan skin is nice and golden brown. It's a lucture that you get when you're biking west of the four or five on the r walk that Ben, I don't know.

Have you ever have you ever taken your shot and and just saw a woman and said, I gotta find out like I, I gotta take my hacks and I gotta look for I can't look for my pitch. I just needna swing away. Have you ever done that? So you're saying, obviously in the single days there you're out and you're doing your thing. You see a beautiful, very attractive woman like I would like to get her phone number. I'd like to find out more about her. Uh No,

I'm terrible. I was terrible with that. I just I hate I was fast shy in person, and I didn't want to deal with it and the rejection. Plus when you're the fat guy, you can't really do it. See the fat guy can't do it. Now there is the fun, jolly fat guy that just has no shame, and we'll do it. But most fat guys are like kind of you know, so it's like I don't want to mess around with that. It's you're the clown guy. Yeah, I

guess so. But you're you're, of course so confident west of the four or five lots dog that you're like, hey, I can you know I got I got the looks going on here. I'd go over there, I uh flex my muscle. You you were riding your biking, you saw somebody who you thought was attracted. Yeah, I was. I was west little four or five. Got a full disclosure there. I was on the boardwalk in Manhattan Beach. It's west of the four or five. I'm aware of where Manhattan beaches.

I've been to Manhattan Beach. Yeah, that's it's nice, you know, the back of the day. I don't know if it's still the case. A lot of the hockey players loved in Manhattan Beach, Kings Kings guys, but Kingstown for some reason, her most and Manhattan Beach. So I was on the boardwalk and Manhattan Beach and her most just synonymous with

volleyball players. And I actually saw this, this woman in a in a sun dress walking from the streets onto the boardwalk, getting onto the onto the beach, and she was like, that's a BP fastball, like five ft nine, full figured Burnett Like we talked about this yesterday about like a checklist for men for women. She was the checklist on the physical traits, and I was like, man, trying to take a shot, But I like, I like to depress on to my own personal So what would

your move be? What would you go to move be? If you are confronting someone on the street, Like what's your pickup move? I think it depends on where you're at? Like you know, I thought, you do know how about this one? Ask for directions? But no, no, you don't ask for directions. We can't do that anymore because the power of ways and Google Maps. No, just so you don't have your phone. My phone is not working. Do you know where so and so well? I had. I wore like an arm bat with my cell phone for

my What a douche? Do you like? Love? Average a douche? Nozzle? I'm David Gascon here, I am, I'm not. I'm just telling you that that wouldn't have worked for me because I was showing. That's like me asking her what time it is and me wearing a fucking watch. All right, So that's out, I find. I mean, you're such a slap dick. It's unbelief No, because this could happen again.

So we need solutions from Benny. By the way, guesscott I started using the term slap dick on the air and Eddie Eddie and uh and Roberto and Cooper losing their mind. You go outside, Oh my god, you can say slap dick. Did you want an illegal word? Did you get dumped? I don't know if they dumped me or not, but I tried to explain to them. I was like, I don't know, I don't have control over that. But I was like, no, that's a term. You've heard that term before, right? What did you use douche nozzle

the other day? Yeah, that's a good I just used it on you. You weren't even listening. I called you a douche nozzle. You weren't even paying attention. No, I was paying attention. You texted me that I do exactly what? Oh yeah, yeah I did. I did do that back in the day. But but no, U, slap dick is it's a it's a fun, fun term. It's good. It's just like ball washer. You use ball washer on radio, Like, why can't you use slap dick on radio? Exactly? That's

what I'm saying. You know, there are certain words were not allowed to say, but slap dick is not one we're allowed. We are allowed to say that. So did you call a slaptick on the radio? I don't even remember, but I I from what I understand, it is essentially my understanding of the term slaptick. It's more like a

Southern thing, like in Texas and that place. But it's essentially the synonym would be like you're a goof off or your or you're you know, worthless, sir, you know that kind of thing, like you're nobody, you're Yeah, there's a lot of you've got to be creative when you can't use the traditional curse words to find ways to insult people on the radio. There's a skill to it. You can call people maggots or cockroaches, any any kind

of those. Uh. The mongrel is a good one. Vermin, parasite, good parasite, mosquito, plankton, termite, you can go through the whole list. Any bug, you're you're like a tick. You know you can say if you say it right with the right inflection, it has a good meetings good me. You can go like pleb or in cell. That guy's a parasite, that guy dare him? Yeah, you know what the one I I've tried to mix them up, but I liked when I get on my rants about the rows.

The ragamuffin. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. Varmint. Call someone a varmint. It sounds like something from a cartoon. Yeah, but it's good. You know, you smile when you hear that. Yeah. Yeah, I love channeling my Martin Scorsese Raging Bull with Mama Luke. Right, like using Mama Luke. I think I've called you a Mama Luke several times. Dingle Berry is another one that I like. That's a solid one that dingle Berry and Doucenazo like related. Shmendrick Schmendrick is not bad. I mean,

there's a bunny, a loggerhead you can go. Now, have you gone like Beta or soy boy or anything like that. I've done Bata. I haven't done the soy Boy because the people get triggered sometimes when they hear that one. They get really triggered. They can become insufferable when they hear soy boy. All right, so I don't I don't really do that, but I like to slap dicks the latest addition to the lexicon. So I'm happy with that. And I try to add some some new words every

every week. I try to add a couple of new words every day. I tried to. So would you recommend that if I ever approached a woman, I'd ask her what a slap dick? Man? Well, it depends what kind of woman you want. That's funny. All right, let's get on with you. I got a big mail bag. The mail bag got we got. We don't have any new ratings and reviews, though recently I bad job, bad job. We need that five stars. Yeah iTunes it is please, yeah, please,

and that does help us out. And you think that who the hell cares if somebody posts something on iTunes, But trust us, I promise you that the people that run these podcasts that keep an eye on that, they keep an eye obviously on the downloads. That's the most important thing. Let's not be completely uh dim witted here. The podcast downloads are the most important things, but that

other stuff is important as well. Alright, so you know, don't don't get don't start slack, don't become lazy, or they'll be animosity and we will have bitterness and things like that. So anyway, all right, what do we have in the mail bag? We got beer, not to be We'll do the mailbag first. These are actual questions by actual listeners, sent in by people like yourself, submitted via Facebook page mostly Ben mallor show or or you can and also get us on the real Fifth Hour Edge email.

If you go out on Facebook, please like our page. Please like our page. That would help out, help out a lot, all right, help out a lot. So let's get right to it the first one from Lugo from Lancaster, California, home of the Jetawks. Yeah, that's right. I threw out the first pitch at that stadium. Anger that they didn't go out of business like that other team in Baker's Field. That's I'd like to go back there. It's atend. Do

it now. There's no next Next year with minor league baseball comes back, we gotta do a couple of those things. I was planning on going to Minnesota and doing something. And we're gonna do like pilgrimages all over at Mallard meet and greets, and then this this whole thing got shut that all right, Lugo from Lancaster, California. Right, since this Ben Mallard show a scale of one to tend, tend being the most, how much do you miss the free samples at Costco? All right now, Lugo, this is

a great question. It's very important question. Uh So, on a scale of one to ten, with ten being this is the worst thing that I'm at, like a nine, I'm at a night. This was a big part of my weekend routine. This is a big part of my weekend routine. I would go out and I would partake every weekend. I'd go to the Costco and uh, and I would do my thing, right into my thing, eating the samples, and I'd be fighting old people and all that, and I get to it's not the same. I go,

I go to Costco. I have a hole in my heart. I have a hole in my heart because there's no samples, just not the same sucks. Do you do you get like that? Like if you go to um you know, like those yogurt spots where they get like getting the ice cream or frozen yogurt. Do you ask for samples from them before you you purchase. Uh? Yeah, I'll get a I'll get a sample or something. I'll try some some exiety. I usually get the same thing, but I'll

try something exotic. Yeah. Kentucky J rites in from Scottsville, Kentucky. Great piece of real estate on God's green Earth, He says, stuck in a tent for a week with gag on or buy yourself in a cabin for a month with no WiFi? Which one would you have? All Right? This is this is a tough one. It's actually tough one. Let me explain I you with your approach to life West of the four File. I cannot imagine being stuck in a tent for a week. I know, because you

wouldn't be stuck with you. You'd be entertained, you'd feel young again. You'd be like it'd be like the elixir to your old age. What are you talking about? I I would like to be in a cabin and really have soul searching. And you know how did I end up doing a podcast with guestcon here and all that.

I could do some self reflection, but life introspection. It takes some ayuasca along the lane to like just getting into Joe Rogan, be lost in thought out there and and and after a month, I would have a sense of enlightenment. You wouldn't, right, No, No, I would mind, guest guy. I would take a month without the internet, without the WiFi, and I I'll be great. I would not. I would look at the sunset every day, and I'd stare at the animals, so I'll be wonderful. You're such

a fucking liar, I'm not. Carlos in Houston, Bang Bang says, do you and the wife disagree a lot on politics? H No, because we don't talk about politics, so really don't disagree, But my wif it's not political anyway, she doesn't really she she's not into the to the politics and all that stuff. She's not a political She has opinions, but she's uh, it's not not in, not hard, not on a wing. Shall we say not a hard Oh? Big Blue from the LBC says, ask Ben Slash asked

Gagon for Gagon Gascon. When you were younger, how many women tried to offer you adult activities if you asked your police dad to help with their legal issues. Uh, that's a good question by big lout because you know, once you find out your dad was a powerful figure in law enforcement. Yeah, does that the ladies like, hey, yeah, I got this, I got arrested for the week. Can you help me out on this one? Yeah, there's only you know what, It's funny. He said that my dad

actually looked up um my girlfriend at the times. He looked at her criminal history. He like looked her up. He did a did a quick search on her. Yeah, did she have a criminal history? She Yeah, she got pulled over for a d U I and it turned out to be a wet and reckless and he asked me about it, and I was like what And this goes back. It's funny you said that because yesterday we're talking about what don't women disclosed to their significant other and it's a car crash or car accident. Well, I

asked her. I was like, hey, have you got a d u I before? And she said no, yeah, so on so I'm like, you if you've got like a wet reckless and she's like no, why And I was like, are you sure and she's like yeah, And I'm like, you've never been busted by the cops for any kind of traffic violations and she said, well, yeah, once I got pulled over because I had marijuana on me and that's what she got cited for. She got a wet reckless for for for that. So but she didn't realize

that was when it was yeah exactly. And I have a wild story. A buddy of mine who I went to elementary and high school with, he called me one night from you see Santa Barbara and he said, hey, man, thanks you thank your dad for me. And I'm like, dude, I even't talked to you in like five years, what's up? And he's like, I got pulled over by c HP on my way to you see Santa Barbara, and I just got out of a d u y because I

flashed your dad's business card. I was like, how the fund did you get one of those unbelievable man so get out of a trouble card. Yeah, that's pretty wild. I've never been in that. But I did have a friend of mine that was traveling back east that used my business card to get in the past the velvet

ropes and get into like nightclubs. People. Yeah, people all over the East Coast must think that back when this is years ago, that I was some kind of ball because he was pretending to me me and you know, a business card, big, big radio star and all that stuff. I've never used that to get anywhere. I've never dined now, I will admit. Back in my twenties, people thought I used to look like um Joey fatone from and SINC. And you didn't deny that you were. So my buddies

would play it up. So we'd go to like clubs and bars and I'd get drinks and different things camped to me the entire night. Like we'd go to Vegas and I'd get drinks camped to me there. Nice. It was the dumbest shit I've ever seen. My buddies have gotten laid off of that. They'd pretend like they're hired security by me. They dressing all black, that like women would come up to me and then take him home and back him and unbelievable. So the power of celebrity.

You're not a celebrity. Guess right, that's funny, Yeah, pretty good. That's uh, that's funny, all right. Matt from Dallas Fort Worth rights, and he he says, in light of NBA players walking out on the playoffs, if you had to sacrifice one of the big three sports forever, not hockey or soccer, because who cares? I guess he's also, yeah, all right, So which would you choose? I let's see, so I grew up a baseball guy. I love football, so I'd have to say basketball. I get rid of basketball. I mean,

I like basketball and I'd be sad without it. But if I had to sacrifice one, I'd get rid of the NBA. It'd be fine. On I don't need the NBA. Yeah, not even clothes NBA for sure. John the Jailer writes in from Allan Town, pennsylvani This is Ben. We're both happily married man. That being said, is David Gascon the most handsome co host you've ever Yeah? Then John says, I'm sorry, I must have been drinking. There you go, most gst handsome. I probably right. Let's go through the list.

Tom Looney and beat muscle shirts. Tom Looney there, Yeah, I've worked with Chris Meyers. How about my hair? Great to Chris Meyers. There, Jim Mora back in the day. Get down the list here, Pat O'Brien, p O B great, p o B. The show with Steve Hartman. I've done shows man, the list of people have done like random shows with Sporadically, you're not not good lucky place. I think the I think the the person that's the hottest guy that I've ever done a show with his Arnie Spaniard.

Artie Spaniard has to be right there at the top. Man, man, is he beautiful? He reminds me of Dan de Vito in the original Batman when he dressed up as penguin. Yeah, I mean yeah, you just gotta look like the penguin. You're You're right, all right, Matt you Almira? Where that's New York, my renew that's Looney territory. He says, Ben, who would play your character if they made a Fox Sports Radio movie? All right, so does that mean fat Ben or skinny Ben? Because you've gone through stages of Ben.

I still see myself as fat Ben. So I would go, there's only so many fat actors Like Jeff, I would say, older me would be Jeff Garland. What about John Goodman? That's really old like Garland is still doing his thing. Goodman's like kind of washing like a younger. Mean, maybe Jonah Hill, Little Jonah Hill. Actually it's too short. Who would play skinny me? Who would play thinner me? Not skinny but thinner me. That's a good question. The guy

on Facebook keep saying I look like John Lackey. You can hire John Lackey and see if he knows how to act. He's got big teeth. You don't have big teeth. It was a joke there, but I I'll skip over that. La la la la la la. Yeah, so I don't know you you have any you said, John Goodman, that's your answer? Maybe, I mean, I'm just thinking a guy's that. I like your your frame and height, Brad Pitt, you can see that, you know. What about? What about the old I think he was a politician too. Is it

Fred Dalton Thompson? He used to be like the d A and lawn order. Hold on, let me look at what's his name. I think it's Fred Dalton Thompson. He also played You think I look like that guy? No? But I mean, you know if you needed a character that that guy's a fucking good character. That's not. Come on, you know you want this thing to portray you in a in a positive light. Somebime as we have a good actor, okay, as far as we would play guest on any of the cast of Jersey Shore would be

would be good for bleach my skin. I'm Ran in Vancouver, says band question for you this he sent us on email. I'm Ran from Vancouver, kidded. He says, are you willing to do some urine there rape on cameo? That's good? Uh? Yeah, I am, I man, but not at my price point. I'd have to raise my price point up quite a bit. But there is everyone's got a price, right, every person's got a price, and you meet my price point, I would I would do it. What's the price point? How

about this? How about five grand? I'd do it? All, come on, you would do it grand grand? That's that you pay me twenty five grand. I'll do it when you would. You wouldn't do it for five grand. I'd consider it for five. I would do it for twenty five, so I would. I would give it consideration at five, but for twenty five. I'm in. I'm I'm all in?

Is what I all? Right? Barry in Chattanooga, Tennessee, right, and says I'll stay away from the third rail question this time, Ben, When do you think you will get around to grilling that Tomahawks thing? We already addressed this berry over the weekend, as you know. And um, the more guests Gon complains, the more he complains, the more time that will pass before the Tomahawks steak is grill. He also says here, I should try to reverse sere

grilling technique on that steak. Reverse seal sere grilling. What is the reverse your grilling technique? Is that where you you put it on for thirty seconds or ten seconds and flip it and flip it and flip it and flip it and flip it and flip it and flip it. That's a good question. I don't I don't know I've just reverse here grilling technique. But you said when you got the package in the mail that actually gave you specific barbecuing and stretch. Yeah, but that was for it

to have blood dripping out of it. Oh really, yeah, I want to I want to have it well done. I don't need that. Come on, well, uh, the reverse here method grilling tips I'm looking this year. You want to first you cook or even smoked the meat on a very low indirect heat before steering the outside over the heat. So he started an oven, says here, STI in an oven and in in a hot pan on the stove. Yeah, no, I can't do that with a

tomahawk because this is like your first time. This is like you driving like a tesla, like you gotta be careful with you on this, Like you know you got careful. It's not that hard. I just made the most delicious last last weekend Popeye's fried chicken sandwich. Yeah, that's that's like fried chicken. That's very low level. This is not

it's high level. This is like you go into a party, comes to the four or five, and then you're coming west of the four or five to a party with me, Like you can't dress the same way, you can't look the same way. You gotta look, you gotta present differently. Again, you're being a all right, Fats in Philadelphia. There Fats in Philadelphia says in today's time, what one person or organize a shaw and profession do you think? Man, they're

badass when you see them in action. I'm going with the the guards of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington semit Terry. It must see if you ever get a chance. Well, that's a good one. Face. I've never been uh to Arlington Cemetery to see that. Um, that would be that would be something that would be cool. I like to do that fight some time to travel.

I've been to Gettysburg, but that's not not Arlington. Uh. Bad, I don't know, badass with like like a Navy seal, like a a well tuned swat team, that kind of thing, and I think bad that's badass. I don't know what else I guess got any badass professions out there that are that are left? I guess over the pond, the s a S, the Special Arms Service in the UK.

Nothing here though, I don't know. Might see my dad when he was with the l A p D. As a captain, he was in charge of a SWAT back in the day, and so he used to tell me some great stories about how he would go down to Camp Pendleton and they'd trained with Marines because they weren't

in tune with training in urban combat. So they used L A p D SWAT to train with these guys to get them up to speed because their tactics in the way that they approached en Aby territory was drastically different than how officers here in the United States trained. And L A p D SWAT, you know, during that time,

was considered like the elite of the elite. So I spent many a time driving past Camp Pendleton back in the day, way to Sun Diego and probably we probably fly to San Diego, right, you drive there, you fly helicopter, understand well that works most of the time, but just don't fly in fog. Okay, alright, Travis? What did I go too far? Travis? And Oregon writes and says, is it true that the Finley fanatics have become the dominant

force on Fox Sports Radio? Boy? Uh travel, Well, I guess if dominance is one person, yes, dominance is uh yeah, can you. You shouldn't say fanatics. There's really no Finley fanatics. It's just fanatic, which is really I believe Brian Finley looking at the mirror, right, looking at the mirror, what is the Alex Rodriguez all of a sudden, Oh yeah, he's got this like warped sense of reality there, Finley, and he thinks he's he's got this this massive reach. Yeah, well,

good for him. Yeah, he doesn't put that Anthony from Van Eyes, says Ben, who made the decision to crown Marcel from Brooklyn the caller of the Year. His segment is a complete waste of airtime. Yeah, so it happens that you just mail it in on certain segments during a four hour show. Well, Anthony, it's a democracy, the vote of the people. The Electoral College of Fox Sports Radio voted Marcel in Brooklyn the caller of the Year. I realized that Marcel is an acquired taste. Some people

love his work. Other people are nauseated by Marcel's work. Um, but he means well, and it's it's a sports talk radio show on in the middle of the night. What are you looking for? Here? Are we solving the world's problems? I say no, um, but like Marcel, he means well, he's good hearted. Marcel, he doesn't leave his apartment. I feel bad for the guy Marcel does not. He is stuck in the projects in Brooklyn and he has Uncle Dynamite come over and give him food, and that's that's

he eats. He lives by himself there and Uncle Dynamito drop over off food and all that stuff. He's alone most of the time, and the only connection he has to the outside world is calling radio shows like this one and you know other other radio shows. Well, because a radio whore. But this is his way to connect to the outside world. So make him feel more important. That's not a bad thing. That's a good thing. Chris in Cocona the Cocona Iowa right. So, and he says,

do you plan on being buried or creamated? That's another maca, that's like a Guescon type of question. Chris, I'm a buried guy. So I'm a buried guy. This really just comes down to your family, right, you know, do you get creamated and get buried? My family, they they voted on the buried side, So I go with the buried side, you guess, I think for me, I'm probably gonna get airlifted and then dropped in the ocean west of the

four or five. It's a profit. Will you turn, Will they make you dust before they put you in the ocean, or they are just gonna drop your body and they're like, uh, is there a bit ladden off the back of the boat, like you know, like tart me up, and then like yeah, they'll put you in a sheet and drop you off the back of the boat. You know, Yeah, I don't know about that. Uh, that's that's a tough call. Maybe in a casket, all right, r J. In the same

Tonio the Alamo. Most embarrassing moment both of you have had on live radio slash television. Well, r J, this this entire experience has been embarrassing doing the broadcasting over these things everyone's had. I've had ridiculous embarrassing moments and all that that have taken place there. But I remember one of them. Just give me a story right now. Well,

I've told this a few times over the years. Interviewed the kid that won the Little League World Series for Hawaii, and uh, this was the first time they won a couple of times Hawaii and the kid had like the Grand Slam, and he was the top picture and all this stuff, and our reporter in Pennsylvania's like, hey, this kid's shy, don't put him on. I said, this kid's probably, by the way, like twenty five or thirty at this point, so a long time ago. So I was like, put

him on and hand the god guess goot. I asked this kid every open ended question and he gave me one word if that answers on everything. It was so and there's nothing I could do, you know, And as I was trying to be polite, I don't want to be a complete dick. But it was Ted. And then the other one I remember, and also involved an interview. It was during the NBA All Star Game, and uh, I was told I was gonna have on the hotline,

the warm line. I'm having a mental block here, but it was it was they told me, you know, person X was gonna be on and it was actually somebody else that I was interviewing, but they the producer had told me that it was this person and it turned out to be Clyde Drexler. But I didn't know I was talking to Clyde Drexler. I thought I was talking to somebody else. And then he realized because of the questions I was asking him that he didn't that I didn't realize who he was. And I was like, oh man,

that's pretty pretty bad. I have one quick story speaking of that though. I have a and I actually bring this up that Steve Mason, who does a radio show in l A, used to work at Fox Sports Radio. I was working with Steve and he had, oh man, it was the guy that wrote Ball four. Now he he thought he was interview Jim Bowden, the Red GM or Jim Bowden the reg GM back in the day he used to work Fox Sports Radio two, but this

was before then. But he was actually interviewing the guy that wrote Ball four, the famous book, and uh, that's Jim Bouten. And so Jim Boughten realized. And I still we laugh about this. I tell Mason this if we laugh when I see him. Uh, is that Ball four? The book boundens like a kind of a character and a goofball and all that stuff. And so he once he realized the thing, Mason was asking questions about the trade.

I think Bowden was the gym of the Reds at the time, I remember, and they had Ken Griffey Jr. And you know that kind of period of time. And so Bouten, not Bowden Bouten, Mason's asking about trades, and Bouten's like, yeah, I think we're ready to get rid of Griffy. We're ready to move on from Griffy. He's not very good. He's like saying all this outrageous stuff and it it's hilarious, and uh, it was. It was really funny and and you know, Mason was like shocked,

he couldn't believe this. He's like, this is amazing to me, breaking news. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was really funny. Really, but that was like a legendary game changing book. Old baseball player Jim Boughten nineteen seventy that book came out was it was he wrote a diary about the nineteen sixty nine baseball season with the pilots, the Seattle pilots and the Astros, and he gave like he aired all of the dirty laundry, all of them. He broke the k fab is what he did. And he just died

last I think it was last year. Jim Bouten anyway down, I didn't think I would be bringing that story up, but thank you r J. Tony in parts unknown rights In says, do you guys have a farm system for the sports update? Guys, Eddie is like a twenty five game winning pitcher, Tony says, and and Finley is like jose Canseco coming in from right field to pitch. Because you,

guys ran out of pictures? Was Dombrowski your general manager? Yes, Dave Dombrowski was the general menasager noticed no reference to you, Gascan in this from Tony. That's probably a good thing, Colin and Denver writes, Sin says, what pisces you all off more than anything? Being asked, what pisces you off more than anything? Colin? That really pisces me off. It's really I'm really annoyed by that, really annoyed by that. Uh. Kyle and san Antonio says, which NFL player has the

most ridiculous and or undeserved nickname? I don't know about undeserved, but I always loved Refrigerator Perry back in the old days with the Chicago Bears. The guy's so big, he's the size of a refrigerat. That's an all time classic. Craig Ironhead, Hayward iron Head is a good one. Remember Devin has to remember his nickname um No anytime because any time he can return a kick for a touchdown anytime, devon anytime. That's Nigerian nightmare. That's a good one. Peanut

tilmut Peanut til. All right, Well that's enough of the the mail bag. Guess God, do we have enough for be or not to be? We do? Okay? Good, all right, we move on to be or not to be? Here, locked and loaded here. I remember a review of the podcast. Don't forget review the podcast now, and I'm grateful too because when we're talking about this, I think it was last week or the week before about how um the Babylon b was was basically sequestioned for for a few hours,

like they were temporarily just disbanded. Yes, yeah, Twitter shut them down. Do you mind on Twitter? People trying to docks police not shutdown, but the Babylon b was shutdown? Is interesting juxtaposition. That's the world we live in right now. So yeah, that's unfortunate. But anyways, so yeah, this is an ode to the Babylon bie uh social media account that Ben had introduced me to earlier this year, and I've taken me what. No, that's incorrect. No, I was

always an onion guy. You you stopped the Onion all together, moved to the bab Ba ba ba blah and ba ba ba by by by by by by by Babylon Bie. I like the Onion and this is just um. I guess it's more of a conservative or right wing approach, because everything is, you know, especially comedians and yeah, politicians and well, the thing about the bab Babie is they're very good at satirizing the ridiculousness of the world that's going on right now. And uh, that's a good thing.

A lot of people can't handle it, which makes it even better. Speaking of which, have you no comments on that on their social media channels? Right? Oh, there's no room for subtire. I can't believe you're snark in your stre But have you noticed, either on the Babylon b or The Onion that anything that they have said has come to fruition? Of course, we've talked about that. That's that's what makes this hard about the b or not to be because a lot of stuff either you think

it has happened or it's about to happen. Yeah, it's it's pretty dangerous right now. So yeah, so we got five different titles that will run through and i'll see if Ben knows if this is actually the Babylon b or if it's a legit news story. Um. And then of course we got a bunch of different things that did not make the cut as well. So I'm gonna go through those real quick with you, Ben, all right, to go through a couple of them that did not

make the cut courtesy the Babylon b. Uh. Title that did not make the cut, journalists admit supporting Biden just so they can take a another four to eight years worth of vacation in the coming up. Uh. So that did not make the cut, alright, Next next one, Bernie Sanders praises China for eradicating poverty by killing all the poor people. Alright, so again close but no cigar. Yes, yes, Now, I'm gonna go in and out on a couple of these stories. And I think this one's a tricky one

for you. And we mentioned it with with the Animal love. Are we starting to be or not to be? Now? Is just the beginning? Yes? Okay, so this is we'd like to alert all our affiliates. We have none on the parties. We'd like to alert all our affiliates on the podcast that we are now we are now beginning the grading be or not to be sponsored sponsored by

nobody because we have no sponsorships here. Yeah. If you'd like to buy advertising, please contact I Heart Media Podcast Division, say I only specifically want the fifth Hour with Ben Maller and gag On. Good luck with that. How about this one? So we'll see if this is right up your alley. Study finds sin a direct result of not having enough coffee in your system. So is this the be or not to be? That is a question. I am going to say that this is the b mm hmm, Ben,

you are correct? Yeah, all right, I want to know I am on fire there. Although that is something you can see like some people who are hyper wacko say, oh you you're you're coffee and all that. Oh my god? All right, um, that was what was the content? You want to expand on that? Or was just leave the headline? That's leaving the headline there? How about this? One man was rescued off of a surfboard drift the c for three days the B or not the bh uh? All right,

so let's break this down some Ben logic on this. Yes, so that it sounds ridiculous, but there's not a lot of comedy value in it, and Babylon be usually goes for the over the top sarcasm comedy value. That sounds just like an amazing survivalist story that you're out at sea for three days on a surfboard and they find you. So I'm gonna say that's true. Go with a little deductive reasoning there for Ben Mallory and and you're two for two. Yeah, look at that. You gotta make this harder,

guest scout, I'm I own you. That's a good story. Check this out. A British man claims to have spent three days at sea on a surfboard after falling out of a cruise ship. Whoa, it's plucked from the water when coast guards rescued him, saying that he was out there for three days. He had a life jacket on and a white shirt with sleeves rolled up. But uh wait, so he was he did to have a surfboard? He did, Yeah, he did. How the hell you have a surf but he fell off the boat with the surfboard? Yes, how

did that happen? Running through some pictures right now, and it looks pretty pretty stupid. But how big a boat are we talking about? That was a cruise liner. That's he survived the fall. That's a big, big fall. How big of a fall is that? Do you think that's? We got a bridge out here, we got the Long Beach and Vincent Thomas Bridge. Yeah, if you fell off, the people die, you fall off a bridge like that, right, survive that? Now? Did you know that the Golden gate

Bridge in San Francisco, it was synonymous. It was one of the hot spots back in the day. I think it was the seventies. I believe it was the seventies. It was a hot spot for people to commit suicide. Yeah. Yeah, And they actually did some some work on it, some upgrades on the Golden gate Bridge for security railings. But the railing they brought in was mostly too they said, quote unquote to protect drivers from veering off the road. They didn't want to make any kind of accusation towards

individuals that were looking to commit suicide. Suicide rates dropped drastically due to the fact that they just put protective scaling on the Golden gate Bridge. Even if I have walked if you walked across the Golden Gate Bridge. I've walked across the Golden Gate. Yes, I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge bridges. It was long, hot and humid because it was during the summer, and there were people selling ship in the middle of the

Brooklyn Bridge. They had little stands up and they were selling trying to sell water t shirts. Um, welcome to New York's you know that kind of crap? Did you Golden Gate? Did you do that during the day or night? Oh? No, we did during the day. But we see the problems. We thought, well, we'll just walk there and then we'll take like there's probably a shuttle us back. There was

no shuttle buff so we walked. We walked across the Golden Gate and then back across the Golden Gate and then you know, they put nets up under the side. There are nets there to catch the people too, I guess, discourage them from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. They had nets up kind of right below there. Yeah, that's pretty nice. It's pretty neat though. I like it. Next time I'm in San Francisco, which who knows when that'll be, but I'll I want to do that. That's fun. I think.

I asked you views of the city. I love that park. I had gone to San Francisco for years and I had not gone to that Golden Gate Park area was the palace of fine arts. I don't know. There's a bunch of museums there in the grassy knoll, and it's beautiful. Have you been to Alcatraz? I've not been to Alcatraz. I'd like to go to Alcatraz. Had not been to

Alcatraz rock. Yeah, they give you a tour. It's like a full fledged tour, and you can have like the audio equipment on your on your hip and with headphones and they talk, you know, like in baseball terminology they say if a fastball goes right down the middle, they say it right down Broadway. Yeah. I always thought, at least this is my thought process with with baseball, was

that they meant on Broadway, like in New York on Broadway. Well, if you go into Alcatraz as a prisoner, they take you through a long runway of all these prisoners and they basically look at you and mock you. But they call this long runway Broadway. And so that's like when you get introduced to the prison system. There you have to walk through Broadway in order to get into your cell.

So that's like in a dark place, but that's kind of like being that's like right down Broadway, you know, like that's could you see equivalent of like the purp walk that they yes, police will do it. They'll drag you and parade you in front of the media so you can be photographed and goof tine. Yes, um, how about this one? Alright, they are not to be local politician calling for the firing of a teacher who equates the KKK to the police. Alright, so local politician calling

for the firing of King King Kane. I'm gonna say that's real. Oh man, you are three for yeah, look at that man. This is happening in Texas, and fact, Governor of Texas Greg Abbots calling for the firing of an eighth grade teacher who's discussing the political climate right now and she's equating the KKK to modern day police with cartoon features showing black men and police kneeling on

their backs and on their necks. Ah. Well, there's the entire websites dedicated to the dumb ship that professors put out on social media. These these guys are the the academia world. Not the brightest bulbs out there. A lot of these people with the things they post. So do you like home schooling? Then? Uh no, I don't think you learn anything. I don't like I think you kids need to be in the classroom to learn. I think there's gonna be a whole bunch of dumb people they're

gonna come out of this. I think as you get older, it's easier to learn from the internet. Yes, but as a child, I don't think that's how you're you're able to. And Plus, the large part of school is the social element of it and how you learn how to relate to your other human beings and your social you know, your group, your core core group of people, you're in your age range and all that. Yeah, I'm gonna zip

through these ones. But let me know what you think on this B or not the being, CNN says our ratings are only tanking because Trump is killing off viewers by the millions. Oh, that's gotta be the b that's funny. That's gotta be or four or four or four to go five for five. President Trump tells the r n C attendee used to look under their seats for free my pillow and can of Goya beans. Come on, yeah, that's obviously the No, that's real. That's not really. Stop,

that's not real. A couple of the ones that did not make the cut America rag number one place in the world where you can get rich by writing about how awful the country is. That there's a whole contrition that in being the victim. All I'm the victim. Oh my god, I'm the victim. Another another title that did not make the cut. Facebook now allows users to flag anything they disagree with as literally Hitler that was good. And the last, last, but not least, Democrats watching RNC

unsure who this god guy they keep mentioning is. That's pretty good too, That's funny. Alright, well we have survived, you know that. We can hear guesscount of marginal podcasting. So there there is that. We can put that to bed and we'll see what the future holds. Logistically, some some interesting things coming up here in the next couple of weeks, and we'll get to that in the future. We're back on the radio, though, I will be back on the Ben Maller show inside the Magic Radio Box tonight.

As Petros likes to say, they're the big pr friend, big powerful afternoon drive guy. But we will be on there tonight eleven pm in the West and that's two am in the East. So figure that out. Wherever you are in Central time zone, it's one. If you're in the Mountain time zone, that's noon. And if you're in the Hawaiian time zone, what is that like nine o'clock? I think a five hour difference. No, it's like it's either three or two, depends on the time of the year,

I believe. Well, yeah, all right, all right there it is. Have a wonderful, wonderful, wacky and crazy rest of your day. We'll catch you next time. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.