The Fifth Column - podcast cover

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welchwww.wethefifth.com
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com
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Episodes

Members Only #177 - Bang , Bang, Bing, Bong, Dong, Dong (Second Sunday Live Rebroadcast)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * San Francisco again * Song of the South again * TikTok NPC insanity * Colombian Snow White, for the first time * How Obama broke up with his girlfriends * Roger Stone on JFK Jr. And a bit on PressTV * Richy Rich of Richmond * The AnCap of Argentina * If the lads of the Fifth could avoid the dumb outrage, would they ? * Iran, Pakistan, American foreign policy * Are we more polariz…...

Aug 24, 202325 min

#417 - Free Speech in Philly, Volume 1 (Live w/Lara Bazelon and Greg Lukianoff)

* A Moynihan intro on theft and “Jew face” * Lara Bazelon on rap lyrics as evidence, January 6th prosecutions, RICO, prosecutorial insecurity and overreach * Artists, characters, and belief * A Title IX violation is worse than being convicted for robbery * Lara’s new podcast * Greg on Title IX bureaucracy and free speech * The decline of the American university * And much, much more * Stay tuned for volume 2, in which Kmele and Moynihan field questions from college students! This is a public epi...

Aug 18, 20231 hr 5 min

Members Only #176 - A Fantastic Podcast Recorded in Hegemonic English

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * RIP Robbie Robertson * Yeah, so 30 minutes of music talk about The Band, The Doors being bad, listeners getting mad at us, Graham Nash in a book store, Mickey Jones, patriotic Bob, Barry Goldwater, and The Last Waltz. Sorry about that. * I’m going to suggest that you weren’t denied entry into the exclusive club because you’re Asian * But being an Asian-American…...

Aug 14, 202325 min

Members Only #175 - The Six Million Dollar Racist and a Second-Hand Banana

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Richard Hananananananania is very sorry * He has changed. From last week. * Handjobs against racism * Lizzo, bananas, petards * “Everything I do is consequential, baby” * Chasing Fonzie the racist (Ed note: We can neither confirm nor deny this story) * The thing that is true but one cannot say… * Italy is a great but they’ll charge you a toll to cross the room * Irish and Ital…...

Aug 07, 202328 min

#416 - A Sloppy Summer Pod, Recovered

So this one is probably four days old now? But because of the shitty software we use—and the fact that our…ummm….editor is currently on vacation in Italy—it took some serious archeology to salvage the recording. But it sounds fine, it’s a good episode, and Moynihan isn’t at all annoyed about having to upload this from a beach in Forte dei Marmi. The lengths we will go to make you people smarter and happier…So no description. Just listen to the damn thing. This is a public episode. If you'd like ...

Aug 01, 20231 hr 49 min

Members Only #174 - Coast to Coast, Until You Say Stop

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Matt hasn’t seen Oppenheimer * Brittany Murphy is dead, probably from myocarditis. Kmele is surprised * Found that anti-Qaddafi t-shirt * That stupid interview on Democracy Now * NHJ is America’s greatest historian * Was Moynihan crying ? (Moynihan responds: This is fake news) * “But ackshually……..” * Low key good and not great * Richard (not Robert) Frank’s brilliant book * The…...

Jul 26, 202325 min

Members Only #173 - VICE Disgrace, Racist Boston, Racist Viruses

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kmele and the Dead * Lia hates God * RFK and the race virus * A guilty verdict * The Dersh and jury nullification * The often referenced video of Dersh v. the Fink * A listener retracts his “dickish email” * An email about Boston and music * Is Boston a “racist” city? * Forgetting about bussing * The Irish vs. the WASPs * Moynihan unloads on idiot Vice executives...

Jul 18, 202329 min

#415 - The Pod of Laughter and Forgetting and Tracy Chapman and Crack and The Three Stooges

* This is a very summer episode. Soz. * Moynihan, impanelled * Implicit bias and your cup of coffee * Chipotle paranoia * We interrupt this program for a detailed Welch interregnum of the death of Milan Kundera * Tracy Chapman is “honored” by Luke Combs’s cover. The Washington Post is alarmed * Elvis was a hero to most, but he never… * You didn’t write that song. The “community” did * De La Soul is not Steely Dan * Airbrushing music and film history will save the universe * Actually Tintin in Co...

Jul 14, 20231 hr 57 min

#414 - Clarifications, Curried Goats, Cocaine Capers

* Taking back a “clarification” * Underhoused. Overhoused. Differently housed. * Mayor Adams yells at a Holocaust surviving slave master * Drinking coffee with pictures of dead cops * Who lost the cocaine? * Kamala speechwriter video * The worst person in America is… * That interesting piece about Kevin Kruze’s not interesting book * The Fifth Column agrees: the 4th is pretty great… * Immigration in Europe vs. immigration in the US * Harvard and affirmative action This is a public episode. If yo...

Jul 09, 20231 hr 47 min

Members Only #172 - We're Literally Shaking / RFK Redux

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * A sick podcast * Revisiting Coleman and RFK * Listeners yelling at Moynihan * Some nice stuff about Moynihan * A clarification from Moynihan * (All of this is re: RFK) * BTW, Sirhan Sirhan was really anti-Semitic * The conspiratorial mind * Are Birchers libertarians on meth? * Taking photos of yourself smoking crack * Matt tells a story about…something * Etc, etc, etc...

Jul 04, 202323 min

#413 - So Many Idiots (w/ Damon Root)

Our old pal Damon Root, author of Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court , stops by to explain why the world is ending and racism won and all new websites will be homophobic and paying your debts is fascism or something. So yeah, the lads discuss the court, affirmative action, student loans and how to eat your gay website cake. Enjoy. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/sub...

Jul 02, 20232 hr 9 min

#412 - An RFK Intervention (w/ Coleman Hughes)

The great Coleman Hughes sent a pained email. Like many Americans angry about various stupid and sinister government Covid policies, he was now feeling the gravitational pull of a warbly-voiced political outsider from a family of consummate political insiders. He was, of course, starting to fall for Mr. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. To be clear, this wasn’t a full-throated endorsement of Kennedy but, Coleman averred, an understanding where his ever-expanding legion of supporters were coming from. And af...

Jun 24, 20231 hr 41 min

Members Only #171 - Bobby, Cormac, and Geddy

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Another live Zoom for our handsome, brilliant, and generous subscribers (hence all the weird asides responding to a fast-moving live chat). A few topics covered: * Kmele on Juneteenth * Rush and nerds and whites and wizards * RFK and Rogan and debate * Being brave and calling…. * RIP Cormac McCarthy * James Randi “platforming” Uri Geller * Vivek’s Russia stuff * Yalta and …...

Jun 19, 202323 min

#411 - A Conversation with Vivek Ramaswamy

Fresh from his campaign stop in front of a Miami courthouse , presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy stops by the Fifth’s Chinatown studio to very politely argue with Welch and Moynihan about a whole bunch of stuff. Including: * The donor class * What kind of conservative is Vivek? * Populism and free trade * A peace plan for China and Ukraine * The Trump indictment * Would Vivek take a position in a Trump * Vivek leaves, the lads have a tipple * Not many randos this time * Matt and Moyn on the ...

Jun 14, 20231 hr 38 min

#410 - The Tightening Noose

Matt, Moynihan, and Kmele assemble in Chinatown to mull over another Trump indictment. No need for bullet points for this one because beside the predictable digressions into muscle-bound gay birders and homophobic Blue Jays, it’s a lotta Donald. So without further ado… And don’t forget: for the price of one very large coffee, you can help feed the children. Specifically our children. Who are very sad. And very malnourished. And very disappointed in your cheapskatery. For shame. This is a public ...

Jun 10, 20231 hr 46 min

Members Only #170 - Ukraine Calling (w/ Tim Mak)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Despite being in a car in the city of Dnipro, journalist Tim Mak joins Michael Moynihan to talk about leaving NPR, moving to Kiev, and starting The Counteroffensive , his new Substack dedicated to reporting the Ukraine War. A few of the topics covered: * Tim arrived in Kiev the night the war started * Going back to Ukraine—and going independent * Why so many on t…...

Jun 09, 202324 min

Members Only #169 - Loving the Alien, Shooting Matt in His Little Legs

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Ground control to Tucker C. * Episode one of the Bonkers Conspiracy Files * Also, we know what happened to that dam in Ukraine * But back to the white supremacist aliens… * Did the California senate pass on of the dumbest bills of all time? * Root causes and robbing Walgreens * Moynihan loves rooftop Koreans, thinks baby Matt should have been shot in his adorable littl…...

Jun 07, 202330 min

#409 - Pride Wars, Dumb Tupac, and POC Jim

* Kmele is moving to a place where everything is free * ChatGPT is a fabulist * Moynihan’s new Orwell piece * Wikipedia v. AI chatbots * The assassination of (our) Kennedy * Random gossip columnist: Jamie Foxx was murdered by Pfizer * A better America: when Rick James met Linda Blair * BTW: Tupac Shakur was very dumb . And very violent. * Keeping people with dumb politics out of the various halls of fame… * Pride warz…. * Root causes and Bud Light and Target and…. * Inconsistent baseball atheism...

Jun 02, 20232 hr 3 min

Members Only #168 - Trans Pickleball, Debating Thoreau, and Eric Clapton v. Huey Newton

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Stan Jonathan vs. Pierce Bouchard * The Lia Thomas of Pickleball * Owning a house sucks * “Lia has these books” * Kmele loves Thoreau * Matt hates Thoreau * Feinstein and elder abuse * “…to function” * On gas stoves and gesture science * C.S. knows someone with dumb ideas * Robert Murdoch controls your brain * Legislating curricula * Huey Newton and Eric Clapton...

May 30, 202331 min

#408 - It's For Nobody (w/ Ethan Strauss)

* Tina, RIP. Bill Lee, RIP. * Zone of Interest * DeSantis announces * Tim Scott announced too, btw * An increasingly crowded and unimpressive field * Our old pal Ethan Strauss joins * Why does Joe keep saying that…thing about Iraq? * “Trump is sharper than Biden” * An interregnum on Ike Turner * Ethan’s piece on Glen Kuiper * The American employment gulag: exiled forever * Paying indulgences * Is it ok to boycott brands for not having the right politics? A debate * Cruising, the gay Casablanca /...

May 25, 20232 hr 20 min

Members Only #165 - In Memoriam

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * RIP Martin Amis (and Andy Rourke and Jeremy Clarke) * “Pussies are bullshit” * A reading list: Money . London Fields . Zone of Interest. (Note: these all appear to be sold out on Amazon) * On Orwell and D.J. Taylor’s new biography * The Citibike “Karen” and her “white tears” * Online vigilantism * Salman Rushdie’s return * Why’s there no challenge to Biden from The Squad? * The…...

May 22, 202329 min

#407 - The Cruelty, the Conspiracist, and the Report (w/ Eli Lake)

* “Zero-to-insane in the first three minutes” * The terrible 2024 election * The right’s bizarre infatuation with RFK Jr. * The immigration crisis in NYC * The cruelty isn’t always the point * How the average American thinks about illegal immigration * Eli Lake joins to wish us all a Happy Durham Week * Takeaways from the Durham Report * The “heroes of democracy” are, in fact, the villains of democracy * David Frum’s Atlantic piece * Eli on Robert Kennedy Sr., the cop * Diane Feinstein, John Fet...

May 18, 20231 hr 55 min

#406 - Killing Kaitlin Kollins

* Charging the Islip Strangler * Moynihan’s weird bias * A bad WSJ podcast * The Trump townhall * Rating Kaitlan Collins * Journalists who hate journalism * The not Desantis response * Tucker’s Twitter take * Can he succeed? * Killing [TK], A Series * Sorry, but that guy you hate is actually really smart * That amazing Firing Line destruction of Leander Perez * Our grim election / memories of 1968 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bon...

May 12, 20231 hr 27 min

Members Only #164 - Smooth Criminal

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Che jumps on the third rail * Unaliving all the bad words * Throat clearing Suedehead * Let’s come to a conclusion before we know anything, ok? * Another pretendian * You guys are like Glenn Beck too, you know * Nonsense talk about Western science from a nonsense person (and that insane Zoom intro mentioned by Moynihan) * Michael Jackson’s doll isn’t ok * A supermarket encou…...

May 08, 202341 min

#405 - "Death Train, White Fight, The Unfunniest Man in America"

* A homicide at Broadway-Lafayette * Crazy strangers on a train * The dumb racialization of a tragic death * The “delightful” and violent Michael Jackson impersonator * Amazon’s Afrika Bambaataa impersonator goes to Cuba * On Tucker’s identitarian texts * Fox News’s leak war * The Daily Show’s 81% rating collapse * So many shitty late night talk shows * You won’t notice the writer’s strike * Hating the Correspondent’s Dinner is as boring as the Correspondent’s Dinner itself * Gas stoves and Aust...

May 04, 20231 hr 27 min

Members Only #163 - Danny Aiello, Black Hockey, and Ugly MMA

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Moynihan on Maher * Los Angeles is a weird place * Kmele in Chicago with Nirvana’s producer * The mechanics of Hollywood that we don’t understand * AA and Scientology * A hockey disaster * We need more “black” hockey players * A listener on Father Coughlin and Ayn Rand * RIP Wes’s mom * First class talk * A listener in defense of MMA * Holy shit this Danny Aiello response video * Holy …...

May 02, 202335 min

Members Only #162 - Jon Ronson on Neo-Nazi Debutantes, the Oklahoma City Bombing, and "Platforming" Alex Jones

He first came on to talk about a suicide in the porn industry . Then he came back to help us explore the origins of our roiling culture wars . And now Jon Ronson returns for his third one-on-one conversation with Michael Moynihan, this time to discuss The Debutante , his brilliant new podcast about high society neo-Nazis, bad swastika tattoos, Throbbing Gr… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/sub...

Apr 30, 20231 hr 46 min

#404 - The Fall of the House of Tucker and Traffic w/ Ben Smith

We’re back with one long episode in two cracking segments. First up, Welch and Moynihan ( Ed. note: Kmele is currently peering through a telescope on the South Side of Chicago or something) catch up on all the stupid news of the last week, including… * The news of certain…errrr……media layoffs * Defenestrations at Fox News and CNN * The “they-ificaton” of Tucker Carlson * The bizarro world of Robert F. Kennedy Jr * Lil’ Bobby: Prosecute people I disagree with And then it’s an hour with return gue...

Apr 28, 20232 hr

#403 - FIRE in a Crowded Theater

* Kmele MC’s the FIRE Gala * Killer Mike blows the roof off the joint * This is a hangover episode * A celebration of FIRE, the great Harvey Silverglate , and various other heroes of free speech * What cable news network has created this climate of hate….in Japan * If only we could prevent shitty speech, we would be on a forward march to utopia. Right? * The temptation, on both the right and left, to not “do the work” * The EU will control ChatGPT and all will be great * The forever instinct to ...

Apr 20, 20231 hr 53 min

Members Only #161 - Second Sunday (on the Third Sunday)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kmele, Fruit of Islam * Via Chicago * Dominion lawsuit stuff again * Biden and America’s favorite bearded terrorist Gerry Adams! * Kmele’s Dominican son? * The life and work of complete psycho Leonard Jefferies * What do you all think of Amy Wax? * Peter Popoff and James Randi * A biracial question from a drunk biracial lad * Prince’s dirty songs * Discomfort and historical memo…...

Apr 18, 202328 min
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