The Fifth Column - podcast cover

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welchwww.wethefifth.com
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com
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Episodes

#402 - The Air Force OG, the Tennessee "Three," and a French Protest Spree

* The arrest of Jack Teixeira * The bad showoff * Not a source, not a Snowden * How serious is the Teixeira leak? * Sorry, but the NYT and WaPo did the *correct* thing * The Tennessee 2 1/2: a plague of theater kids with dumb ideas * That really bad and embarrassing shout-and-holler preacher impression * That really bad and embarrassing Michael Steele clip * That really bad and embarrassing Andrea Mitchell clip * And a really bad and embarrassing Marjorie Taylor Greene tweet * Democracy wasn’t f...

Apr 14, 20231 hr 31 min

Members Only #160 - Crow's Eagle's Nest

As an Easter and pesach mitzvah to America, we’re gifting this Member Only episode to all y’all…considering that we were on vacation and had no intention of recording it, it’s just Matt and Moyn, and they cover just one dumb subject. An annoyed text exchange about this whole “Clarence Thomas’s friend Harlan Crow loves Hitler” nonsense precipitated this recording, which also exists so we could resurface a relevant listener question from Members Only #152. * The Rolling Stone article Matt mentione...

Apr 10, 20231 hr 16 min

#401 - Dying, Lying, and Birding (Live at the Ritz)

Live in front of a crowd of five exhausted crew members, broadcasting from a suite at the Ritz-Carlton in midtown Manhattan (we’ll explain later), it’s another of those *forgive us father, for we are deep in our cups* episodes. So take it all with a rather large rock of salt: Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, RIPThe philosemitic film festival Peter Sellers was, in fact, Jewish (Sameach Pesach, btw)Ugh. We have to talk about the Trump arrest.The door wasn’t held. America is in crisisThat Trump speech...

Apr 06, 20231 hr 19 min

Members Only #159 - God Said Be Clean, Sir

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * What was Kmele talking about? You’ll never know…. * Jewish basketball, Max Schmeling, European baseball players with consumption * Matt Welch was about to be Paul Castellano’ed * Are you a member of the UAE royal family? Get Moynihan on Emirates * The unsavory Italian members of the family * The knock-on effects of the Trump indictment? * Melania’s forgotten about parents...

Apr 04, 202321 min

#400 - "Trump Indicted (And It Feels So Good)"

* Well, it feels good to various MSNBC hosts, late-night comedians, and resistance types * We don’t *know* how it feels * Because no one wants to admit that we *don’t know* very much * It’s all about race, actually * That NPR interview with Al Sharpton * The opposite of Alan Dershowitz * That weird AI letter * Fox News, Dominion, and brainy rooms * Random thought on John Walker Lindh * Random thought on Adderall and the drug war This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other ...

Mar 31, 20231 hr 34 min

Members Only #158 - Fact to Face with an Anti-Racist Genius

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Tupac’s stepfather Mutulu Shakur * The adorable and execrable Dean Reed * The worst article The Atlantic has ever published * Champagne dreams and Fifth Column nightmares * Trump in Waco * Insulin girl! * That guy cutting your hair is definitely Russian * Georgian helicopters * Schultz and Lula and Russia * Stop saying “lived experience” * That hideous school shooting * Whatever happ…...

Mar 28, 202325 min

#399 - Dumb Debates, Dodgy Dispensaries, Paying Pornstars, Filtered Photons

On Monday night, to a packed house of white supremacists and neo-fascists, Kmele debated the awkward proposition “Are we too obsessed with race?” Moynihan and Welch attended. They were amused and ultimately confused. So the lads unpack just what on Earth they witnessed. After thirty minutes of conversation about drunk Fifth fans and race-obsessed weirdos, they move on to more important subjects like Trump vs. Stormy and DeSantis, the proliferation of illegal weed dispensaries, the acquisition of...

Mar 23, 20231 hr 55 min

Members Only #157 - The Sex Pope Washes Your Feet

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We’re still not sure if it was Peru or Chile or Gabon, but regardless…Kmele is back from his equatorial conference…but…is even really needed?? Why, yes, he is! Because in this totally sober, totally discursive Members Only pod, the lads touch on the most important subjects paralyzing the world today: Lenny Kravitz, kids birthday parties, Hilaria Baldwin…...

Mar 20, 202332 min

#398 w/Allison Schrager - "The Horrible, No Good Economy: A Primer”

We do it for you, people. We don’t necessarily want to, but we do. Because you need it. In times of national crisis, the Fifth will forgo all the fun stories so we can tackle the important, necessary stories. It’s time to take your medicine, citizens of Fifdom, and allow Allison Schrager, economist and Bloomberg News columnist , to womansplain just what is ailing the American economy and why the bros and their stupid bro banks are collapsing. According to Schrager, all the people you hate are, i...

Mar 16, 20231 hr 46 min

Members Only #156 - Second Sunday Live! (Rebroadcast)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kmele at a Konference? Yup! * Moynihan spills a wee bit of tea about an old job 😬 * The New Trump U * Commie spies * The DeSantis strategy * Matt’s baseball digression (on rule changes and the WBC) * This is a very good series * That Twitter Files circus on Capitol Hill * So this is exactly what we were talking about re: purity tests * Don’t identify as anything…. * So very much…...

Mar 13, 202338 min

#397 - Just Some Bros Mainsplaining Manganese

It’s just like old times! Because the boys are back in town, recording together in an actual studio, andpregaming with listener-provided booze. So…yeah, things were pretty rough going in…Sorry about that. * We try to answer the age old question… * A handful of some, maybe, constitutes a New York Times trend * Let us, as men, explain something to you… * The sexual decline and fall of the podcast bro * “It’s not because you’re a woman. It’s because I’m an asshole.” * Does anyone at Fox believe any...

Mar 09, 20231 hr 28 min

Members Only #155 - Passports, Divorces, & Puerto Ricans

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Puerto Rican passports * Nothing works in New York * Jimmy the Deregulator * Fistfight Airlines * Kmele and Andrew Schultz at Brown * So what about Chris Rock’s Netflix special? * The travails of a listener’s white wife * In praise of Matt and Trey * A “national divorce” is dorm room, edgelord bullshit * The loss of Mayor Pepe * Number #9 dream...

Mar 06, 202334 min

#396 w/ Chris Stirewalt "Fired by Fox, Fixing the News, Eating a McRib"

* Stirewalt on calling Arizona for Biden and the Dominion lawsuit * On getting fired by Fox News * How journalism collapsed * Sean Hannity is not a conservative (he’s a Republican) * The Joe Manchin effect * This wouldn’t have happened under Roger Ailes * Overestimating the media’s influence * The inevitable conversation about mis- and disinformation * Would Chris cancel Alex Jones? * Cruz v. Carlson: the most excruciating interview ever? * Will Reaganism return?? * Post-game: lab leak lollapalo...

Mar 01, 20231 hr 54 min

Members Only #154 - Konference Kmele, Konservative MJ, and Angela Davis's Debts

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Konference Kmele * The most Jewish podcast in America? * Arguing an overcorrection * Michael Jackson, social conservative * Kmele sends Angela Davis a SASE * Slavery, King Cotton, and fighting with NHJ * The two books on slavery Moynihan mentioned * Listener question about maybe working for a racist conspiracy theorist * More thoughts on big boy mannequins * Clip from Ethan Suple…...

Feb 27, 202337 min

Members Only #153 - Make Way For the Big Boyz

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Apocalypse apparel * No country for fat men * Singal white journalist * A left-wing Matt *Walsh* stan * Books don’t make a man * Kancel Kmele Pls * On Mistaken Misgendering * Dippin toes, stepping on rakes * A message from Julia (TBC) * Moynihan engineers a Fifth Marriage * The zaps of SSRI withdrawl… * Burning down the house - followed by * A listener wonders: were my Italian grandpa…...

Feb 20, 202324 min

#395 w/ Katherine Mangu-Ward "Nothing Is True and Debate is Murder"

* Moynihan’s hobo disaster * KMW, disinformation queen, stops by for a few, tells us how she broke her kneecap * KMW: The Fifth is staffed by crotchety scare-mongering old dudes ( Ed. - This is disinformation) * So why *is* KMD the disinformation queen? * Wait, what does “disinformation” even mean?? * The movie Contact is pretty libertarian * Killing old people, dead crank doctors, and libertarian Rachel Welch * According to hundreds of stupid people, the New York Times is a hate group or someth...

Feb 16, 20231 hr 29 min

#394 w/ Jamie Kirchick "Hammer Time, Larry Craig 2024, TLDR SOTU"

* How Jamie ended up writing about Armie Hammer * So what *is* the Hammer story anyway? * How the motivated reasoning media ignores inconvenient inconsistencies * Is there a path back from an utterly destroyed reputation? * How Jamie’s book Secret City informed his reporting * Heroes and homophobia * So is it true what they say about James Webb? * The Lavender Scare and Joe McCarthy * Who was worse, JFK or RFK? * Would anyone care about Larry Craig in 2023? * Why was Moynihan at a political even...

Feb 09, 20231 hr 57 min

Members Only #151 w/ Ethan Strauss - DEI Man and the Foreskin Ceiling

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Armie of the damned * Jamie Kirchick’s piece on Armie Hammer * The Robin DiAngelo of Sports * Ethan’s piece on “DEI man” Richard Lapchick * The question that ended Ethan’s interview with Lapchick * The NBA’s Foreskin Ceiling * “In this day and age…” * Maverick Carter isn’t going to hire you * That shocking 1976 PBS documentary about racism in Queens * Kids don’t like sports any…...

Feb 06, 202333 min

#393 "Black Stalin, Objectivity Is Racist, & Tax Robots Are Super Racist Too"

* The George Wallace travel app * The genius and utter stupidity of WEB Dubois * That disgraceful Dubois obit for Stalin * A copy of the Conservation of Races book * Len Downie’s rotten, horribly written piece about objectivity in news * Jeff Gerth’s really good piece about Trump-Russia coverage * Remember Hamilton 68? Bush 911? Heaven 17? * Hunter’s sexy jobs program * Did anyone notice that Ol’ Joe said that weird lie again? * Racist tax robots * What’s good for me isn’t good for thee, silly p...

Feb 02, 20231 hr 52 min

Members Only #150 - Memphis Madness, Ubiquitous White Supremacy, and Rope-A-Dope with Mr. Burns

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * A famous Texas hat * Kmele’s Twitter beef with a former guest * The tragedy in Memphis, the predictable response * Ubiquitous white supremacy * Don’t even read Mark Twain aloud * A listener speculates on Kmele’s “blackness” * Back to Texas: they are just nice people, says Moynihan * Name this listener’s baby * The etymology of “Kmele” * Nicola Sturgeon splutters when asked about …...

Jan 31, 202346 min

#392 "Tanks for Victory, Oscars So Boring, and Ben Dreyfuss Is Here to Offend You"

A sober first segment about war and death is interrupted by our chaotic and fatphobic friend Ben Dreyfuss, who joins the Fifth to discuss his insane Twitter account and why he keeps making people really mad. * We haven’t seen many of these Oscar movies * German Leopards for Ukraine * The arrival of “Jaws star Richard Dreyfuss' actor son Ben, 36, [who was] slammed for saying he'd never have sex 'with a fat person’” * That Daily Mail article / We read Ben some of the comments * Wait, why did Ben g...

Jan 26, 20232 hr 4 min

Members Only #149 - Georgia on Our Minds

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Santos: Hotter as a lady? * Hunter is a shitty person who makes shitty art * Kmele shuts down a Netflix indoctrination session * Georgia: Stupid people play stupid games and win stupid prizes * A shooting in LA * Another shooting in LA * A tribute to a listener * More on Cormac McCarthy (and Camus and Sartre) * Objecting to Douglas Murray * On the weirdness of the Phantom of th…...

Jan 24, 202334 min

#391 "Debt Drama, DEI, and Deceased Rock* Legends*"

* Release The List * Crosby, Not So Great * A Few Nights In Chicago * Squashing Racism ($5 Million at a Time) * Reparations and the US Constitution * A Seat at the Table * Hereditary Culpability and Entitlement * Manhattan Beach * Daily Wire vs. Mug Club * Drew Carey 🖤 CDC * “We ain’t gonna talk bout dem papers (so y’all can quit asking)” * Debt Limit Hold’em * The Anti-Woke Caucus * Florida’s “Objective” Nonsense * What Students Deserve * “If We Lose, You Lose” Recorded: 1/19/23 Published: 1/2...

Jan 20, 20232 hr 17 min

#390 "Stupid People, Stupid Ideas, and Stupid Solutions" w/ Douglas Murray

* The Corvette Papers * “So my friend gets arrested for murder in South Sudan…” * No sex please, he’s British * The times, they have a’ changed * From Belfast to Pyongyang * If I Did It: Eichmann versus the neo-Nazis * Russophilia, left and right * America: a net exporter of bad ideas * Is there a war on the West? * Douglas’s new podcast, Uncancelled History * In defense of Lincoln and Churchill * Regrets, I’ve had just…one * Disqualifying Kant and Hume * That idiotic USA Today piece cited by Ma...

Jan 14, 20232 hr 13 min

#389 "We Need to Talk About Kevin (w/ former Rep. Justin Amash)

* Former Rep. Justin Amash was on the floor during the leadership fight?? * Brian Lamb question: What does the speaker actually do? * And what do the Gang of Twenty actually want? * Rep. Amash: Kevin McCarthy “isn’t that bright” and “will do whatever it takes to maintain power” * Why the system is broken and how it got that way * Congress is becoming more European * Reminder: Amash created (and named) the Freedom Caucus * Are you really putting yourself forward to be speaker? * The whole system ...

Jan 05, 20231 hr 54 min

#388 "Occasionally Honest, Unseasonably Reasonable"

* Subway Protocol * Lying, Liar * Flooding the Zone * Modest Proposal * The Real Corn Pop * Domestic Disturbance * Buffalo Electronics * Trump Tapes * Moynihan is cold * Welch isn’t paying attention * Kmele coins a good one (for the third time) * Dank Meme Party * After Trump * Read This. Read That. Recorded: 12/29/22Published: 12/30/22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Dec 30, 20221 hr 34 min

#387 "Criminally Inclined, Grammatically Policed"

* Sweet Baby Jesus * Ted Cruz 🖤’s Striper * Dress for the Job You Want * Defensive Capabilities + Fiscal Profligacy * The Worst Possible Scenario * Criminalish Betrayal * Worse than Watergate? * Presidential Travel Rewards * The Stanford Grammer Experiment * Demanding or Entitled BIPOCs Recorded: 12.21.22Published: 12.22.22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Dec 22, 20221 hr 51 min

#386 ""

* Irish Israeli * France vs Morocco * That Marriage Act * Biden Told The Truth That Time * What Republicans Won’t Do, But Ought to * They’re Actievly Trying to Kill us * Leaving Twitter (Because I’m Oblivious, For the Children) * Doxxing*** Elon’s Plane? * MTG (Would have won!) * Jan 6th Prosecutions * Maced Recorded 12.14.22Published: 12.15.22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Dec 16, 20222 hr 25 min

#385 "Elon, NHJ, and MJ"

Recorded on Sunday afternoon, this now-vintage episode was consider lost forever, after a certain Fifth Columnist discovered that he still doesn’t understand how computers, cameras, and microphones work. Well….lost until we (i.e. Moynihan) found a weird backup copy of the episode on the Twitch servers! So…a few days late, of variable quality, and now available for download: * Back to the “Twitter files,” reluctantly * Everyone loves Joe McCarthy * Yet another James/Jim Baker * The pointlessness ...

Dec 14, 20221 hr 35 min

#384 "The Collapse of Pablo, Anti-Zionist Gimp"

* Yes, we have to talk about Kanye West Ye Kardashian again * Verdict: The man is not well. And is an anti-Semite * Kmele is sad. Matt is not. * Wild guess: Ye is unfamiliar with Theodor Herzl * Note: some people with bad views used to have not so bad views * Remember “slavery was a choice?” That was pretty dumb * Is Kanye making people '“unsafe”? * Matt Taibbi releases internal Twitter comms on the Biden laptop * Journalists: this is the wrong type of journalism * These numbers seem pretty fake...

Dec 03, 20221 hr 34 min
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