The Fifth Column - podcast cover

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welchwww.wethefifth.com
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com
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Episodes

383 w/ Ethan Strauss "The Realest Jews, God's Favorite, Ben Collins Has... Questions (about himself)"

with/ Ethan Straus of House of Strauss (on Substack) * Does the NBA Have an Antisemitism Problem? * They control the media, our podcast, and the NBA!? * Wait, who isn’t Jewish? * “Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Hitler” * Baseball + The John Birch Society * Stolen (Jewish) Valor * “More than an Athlete” / Lebron “gettin’ that Jewish money” James * Divide & Sponsor * Was (Is) Twitter Pushing Hysteria * But is it antisemitism? (Does it even matter) * Identitarianism, Judaism, and antisemitism (real an...

Nov 23, 20222 hr 33 min

382 w/ Nadav Eyal "Revolt and Resurrection: Tel Aviv Edition"

Rejecting twelve hours with the commoners in coach, Kmele remains stateside while Moynihan and Welch make goyish aliyah in Israel. Wandering from the Egyptian border in the South all the way up to Trump Heights in the North, the lads are introduced to one of Israel’s most famous journalists and big thinkers, Nadav Eyal, author of Revolt: The Worldwide Uprising Against Globalization . Eyal graciously joined the Fifth at a recording studio in Tel Aviv for a very deep, very nerdy chat about whether...

Nov 19, 20221 hr 33 min

381 "The Most Important Midterm Elections Ever"

No Red Wave. No Blue Wave. No Fascist Takeover. No Democracy Dying in Darkness. The 2022 midterm elections came; they’ll take almost a month to sort out (including a runoff in Georgia) — but things are generally about as bad (and good) as they were before the election. Moynihan returns from the field, where he was covering the race in Florida. Welch and his family are momentarily clear of any exigent health emergencies. And Kmele taps in from Austin, Texas. This is a public episode. If you'd lik...

Nov 11, 20221 hr 44 min

380 w/ Robert Draper "Democracy is on the Ballot (Cause They Crazy)"

* The Libertarian Moment? * To Start A War * Weapons of Mass Delusion * Pelosi Attack * Definitely Not Bothsidesing * Voting For Anyone Else Is a Vote Against Democracy * The Gravity of Things * Reddit profiling * A Few Parting Thoughts Recorded: 11.2.22 Published: 11.3.22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Nov 04, 20222 hr 13 min

379 "Midterm Closing Arguments, Killing Kanye" w/ Coleman Hughes and Nick Gillespie

* Power Strip * A Victory for Equity * Surveying the Midterms * Fetterman’s Debate Disaster * The Mystery of the AIDS Quilt * The People vs Jim Eagle * Eminent, Indefatigable Election Fraud * Yarvin - The Mastermind * Black Lives Redux * I Miss The Old Kanye * “Whatabout!?” MSNBC Montage * Antisemitic Calypsos * Antisemitic Hip hop * Crosby, Stills and Ugh * T Boz Lives * From Ken Burns to Colorblind * African Apologia Recorded 10/26/22 Published 10/28/22 This is a public episode. If you'd like ...

Oct 28, 20221 hr 55 min

378 "Nazis and Sycophants and Cynics (Oh My)"

* Moynihan has COVID (Again) * Another NYC Covid Spike * “Dangerous New Levels of Misinformation” * The Kids Are Actually All Right (but they’re mostly not getting vaccinated) * No Apologies for #DeathSantis * Ladies Who “Lead” (and cry about it) * Red Wave, Blue Wall, Purple People Eaters * Moynihan’s “Free Smoke” Preview * Republican Skullduggery * Yes, And, [ Deepest Possible Sigh ] * The “AOC to Nazi” Pipeline * Trust in Media… still virtually non-existent * The Sycophants and Cynics Coaliti...

Oct 21, 20222 hr 11 min

377 "Racist LA, Racist Brooklyn, Deplorable America"

The lads are all around the same table in New York City! And LA Times journalist Gustavo Arellano calls in at the top of the show to explain why the President is calling on four local politicians in L.A. to resign. * Gustavo explains Spanish racial slurs * Gustavo explains the racism of the LA City Council * This is the logical endpoint for dumb identity politics * We obsess over the race stuff at the expense of the naked corruption * Punching dogs for social justice * Matt is a cop-adjacent apo...

Oct 13, 20222 hr 18 min

376 “All the (Unemployed) Young Dudes”

I am usually among the most allergic to broad, immutable-characteristic-based analyses along the lines of “ The Crisis of Men and Boys .” Some of this is the usual self-loathing— Screw guys, especially if they’re 54-year-old baseball fanatics from California!, etc. But also, probably due to the extended influence of the man formerly known as Casanova Brown , I have seen too often the fact-bending, anti-individualist and too often punitive ideological temptations of sorting humans into various pe...

Oct 07, 20221 hr 7 min

375 "You Don't Know What Fascism Is"

* Only Fans is for Justice * Internet Experts * Not Even Not Fascism * Right Wing Extremists Everywhere * Blame The EU * What You’re Really Afraid Of * The Beyonce of Journalism * Call of the Wild * Lil Baby Offends * Democratic Illiberalism * Not That Big Lie * Don’t Call It a “Ban” (Even If It’s A Ban) * They Were Watching Baseball Recorded: 9.28.22Published: 9.29.22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethef...

Sep 30, 20222 hr 16 min

374 "Walls Closing In (Again?)"

* Toddler Pestilence * Death Defying Drives * Naked Pool Slide (are you “The Big Guy” * Russia, Ukraine, A wildly outdated PBX systems * Trump’s Devolving Legal Situationship * This Isn’t Political; Trust Me 🤞🏼 * Russia Hacked the Women’s March? * Buses, Planes, and “Kidnapping” Stunts * Maybe Build that Wall Now? Recorded: 9.22.22Published: 9.23.22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Sep 24, 20222 hr 13 min

373 "Notes on White Privilege" w/ Adam Davidson and Thomas Chatterton Williams

Featuring: Thomas Chatterton Williams - Contributing Writer @ The Atlantic, Visiting Professor and Senior Fellow Hannah Arendt Center @ Bard College Adam Davidson - Co-Founder @ Planet Money, Contributing Writer @ The New Yorker*** “It amazes me that any straight, white dudes don't see the privilege we have. It's not subtle.” - Adam Davidson - via Twitter (8/20/22) Not a long tweet. And in the grand scheme of things, hardly an unusual opinion to encounter. Ordinarily, I fire off a reply —maybe t...

Sep 17, 20221 hr 26 min

372 "The Queen is Dead"

So I broke into the Palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner With the Right Honorable Matt Welch ensconced in a posh Beverly Hills hotel, prepping to shock and sicken America with yet another appearance on Real Time , Kmele and Moynihan got on the horn to discuss the death of corgi-loving colonialist Queen Elizabeth II, moronic “anti-colonialist” Twitter, Bannon’s perp strut, Moynihan’s unwitting mentor, phantom racist volleyball fans, and an unarmed man shot in the back who wasn’t unarmed or sh...

Sep 09, 20221 hr 33 min

371 "Triumph of the Shrill, Kmele's Thrill, America is Still Ill"

Against a blood-red backdrop, President Biden gives an urgent campaign speech, warning that America is becoming semi-Nazi Germany, Donald Trump is partial Hitler, and our almost democracy is on the precipice of kinda revolution. The lads watch the speech and say lots of really smart things. But before they discuss the end of America , Kmele forces a conversation about Michael Jackson’s Thriller. He has a theory. Moynihan and Welch are…skeptical. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss...

Sep 02, 20221 hr 23 min

370 "Going Commando, Occasionally Reliable Sources"

* Zuck Talks w/ Rogan * Student Loan Forgiveness * Who Cares if It’s Democratic * WashPo: “It’s Regressive!” * The Redbox Test * Student Debt is immoral * Moynihan in an elevator w/ Harry Styles * Oh, my god, they fired Brian (You bastards!) * The Jim Jones of Journalism * NBC “News” * The Many Papers of Donald Trump * That NPR Voice * Ben Shapiro Goes to a Conference (Hilarity Ensues) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes,...

Aug 27, 20222 hr 3 min

369 w/ Lara Bazelon and Hamish McKenzie (Live in collapsing San Francisco!)

A few weeks ago, with Matt Welch bleeding out of his ears and supposedly forbidden from flying, Kmele and Moynihan hopped a plane to a post-apocalyptic hellscape called “San Francisco” to kibizt with their new benevolent overlords at Substack. Unlike the boring prigs at Patreon (whose “Trust and Safety” commissars never even returned our calls), Substack rather generously hosted the Fifth crew for drinks, drinks, some more drinks, and a live show at company HQ. In Matt’s stead, the lads called u...

Aug 20, 20221 hr 31 min

368 w/ Eli Lake "Mar-a-lago Momentos and Nuclear Codes"

Many urgent matters loom large in this dispatch. How did boxes full of TOP SECRET documents turn up a Trump’s Mar-a-lago compound?!Could be an honest mistake… Few moving labels get mixed up; nuclear secrets turn up in a Florida man’s safe . Maybe a box full of Melania’s bawdiest intimates gets serendipitously misdirected to the National Archives. Could America be so lucky? Could Trump be selling state secrets to the highest bidder?Could the “Deep State” be up to no good?Is there a clearance sale...

Aug 13, 20221 hr 52 min

367 w/ Rep Peter Meijer "The Almost Exit Interview"

It's among the most unusual and noteworthy congressional primary races of 2022. For a surprisingly long stretch, Michigan's third district has been home to a uniquely independent brand of republican congresspersons. But after Peter Meijer (R) narrowly lost his primary race this week, MI-3's respectability streak is no more. Congressman Meijer's party largely abandoned him. The former President still really hates him. And Democrats spent $435,000 to help boost his MAGA-loving opponent's sparse me...

Aug 04, 20221 hr 44 min

366 w/ John McWhorter and Glenn Loury "Racial Identity, Abolition and Reckonings"

w/ John McWhorter and Glenn Loury - No Moynihan, No Welch - Progress or Pesmissim - Campus Culture - Culture Warriors - Gaslighting + Reactionaries - DEI Obstacles - Overstatement and Bravery - Dignity + Individualism - Race as Ethnicity - All in Bounds - Pride, Honor, Shame - “Tolstoy is Mine. Dickens is Mine.” - Everything is permissible to me Recorded: 6/14/22 Published: 7/24/22 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, vis...

Jul 24, 202246 min

365 w/ David French "People with Capacities, Roe Reconsidered, Malignant Forces"

with David French contributing writer @ The Atlantic and senior editor @ The Dispatch . James GD Webb Cleaning Your Room Playing to the Crowd The Great CRT Ban Kurfuffl Reconsidering that Roe decision The Capacity for Pregnancy Corroboration, Prosecution, and Restraint Trump v DeSantis World Level Experts Darker Woods Beyond Anarchapulco This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Jul 16, 20222 hr 24 min

364 "Rejecting Boris, Reeducating Macy, Ridiculous Gavin"

* Matt breaks an eardrum * Boris breaks British politics ( Ed note : Boris renounced his American citizenship in 2017. We sort of regret the error) * Would Putin free LeBron? * Remember Macy Gray? Well, whoever she is, she’s very sorry * Tim Hardaway, self-proclaimed homophobe * The end of interventionism * Former Japanese PM Shinzo Abe is shot * Andrew Schultz goes the way of Louis CK * 2022 Freedom Bowl: California v. Florida * Gavin Newsom: Slightly Better than Beto * Covid and culture wars: ...

Jul 08, 20222 hr 11 min

363 w/ Damon Root "Guns, Abortion, The End of All Things"

“Tear it down. Start over again. We can make a brand new start.” - Blue Mafic * A Bad Omen * Judicial Superfluity * Beyond Roe * unenumerated, natural, ipse dixit * Carry Concealed * Conservative Excesss, Judicial Restraint * Europe is Always Better * “Sand in every damn gear…” * Antidemocratic AF * Release the Transcripts Recorded: June 25th, 2022Published: June 26th, 2022 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.w...

Jun 25, 20222 hr 9 min

362 "Trump's Deranged, Bed Stuy Replacement Theory"

* You Got a Friend * Restrictive Covenant * #MJInnocent * Beefin with TSA * Blockchain Nostradamus * A Very Bad Thing/The Worst Possible Thing * What Barr Knew * Clear and Present Danger * Google: maps of Capitol tunnels * The Blame Game * Can’t White a Book * Quietest Jazz Solo * Great Replacement Theory (But It’s Fine) * The Al Sharpton This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe...

Jun 17, 20222 hr 21 min

361 w/ Ilya Shapiro "Free Speech, Free San Francisco, Free Weigel"

* Kmele is flying * Dude has four parents. Not one isn’t a terrorist * The decline and fall of San Francisco, Part I * Fiona Dourif’s piece on how California fails the mentally ill * A sexy retweet * Ilya Shapiro quits Georgetown. He stops by to tell us why * Ilya apologized. Should he have? * He mentioned it, we’ll link to it: the paperback edition of Supreme Disorder * Shapiro: Cato abandoned me * Dave Weigel gets suspended because of his colleague and “close friend,” Sammy “the Bull” Sonmez,”...

Jun 08, 20222 hr 6 min

360 "Defamation, Pride, and Very Special Needs"

* Imperfect Introduction * Queerest story ever told * The heart-pounding conclusion of Depp v Heard * Birdwatching for Karens * A firearms "clarification" * The other 99% (and the warmth of simple narratives) * Incitement for “journalists” * Half Junky / Half Wonk * The absurd hilarity of historical injustice * Believe All Jedi * Fixing CNN+ (“Toobin After Dark” Edition) * Star Wars is for racists * Chief Colt 45 * Total Recall, Certain Guilt * You always need more gays * Professional crybabies ...

Jun 04, 20221 hr 57 min

359 - A Massacre in Texas, An Incident in the Bronx, A Helicopter to Newark

Another mass shooting, more performative outrage (note: and this was recorded right before Beto’s gross little stunt), and never any practical solutions. The lads discuss the massacre in Texas, a “racist” incident at Yankee Stadium, a terrible Marvel movie, and a proposed new female superhero. Oh and as Moynihan explains in his brief preamble, the Rodecaster Pro is a horrible piece of audio hardware that ate 28 minutes of this podcast…but if you’re an audio genius—and this might take a genius to...

May 26, 20221 hr 22 min

358 - Live at the Comedy Cellar w/ Michael Rapaport and Colin Quinn

In celebration of the Fifth’s triumphant move to Substack, the lads decided to do a live show in New York City, with the two most New York City guys they could find. But that live show in New York City sold out immediately, provoking a flurry of angry and/or heartbroken emails. So how does one skip the queue for the next one? Well, tickets are released to subscribers first . And our subscribers are bored and like to get liquored in the middle of the week. You see what we’re getting at? Now, it’s...

May 22, 20221 hr 41 min

357 - w/ Lara Bazelon “This Podcast is Violence”

Another two-parter: the first half with our new favorite lefty Lara Bazelon, professor at the University of San Francisco School of Law, journalist, feminist, novelist, controversialist. After Lara leaves, probably to free someone from prison , the lads take the second half of the show to catch up on the stupid and depressing news of the week. - Baaaa-zelon - Broken clock: Lara thinks Betsy DeVos had a point…- The lefty case for free speech and due process on campus- Lara’s Atlantic piece on how...

May 13, 20221 hr 58 min

356 - UNLOCKED - Things Fell Apart: A Conversation with Jon Ronson

We’re unlocking this subscriber-only podcast, recorded back in January, just to give you freeloaders a taste of what lurks behind the paywall. It’s not only those amazing bonus episodes, wherein the morons from The Fifth Column yammering and stammering through the most important issues facing civilization. But occasionally one-on-one interviews with some of the most interesting people on Earth. Like this one with the great Jon Ronson, host of the new podcast Things Fell Apart . So head over to S...

May 10, 20221 hr 19 min

355 "Ministry of Truth, Competence Inflation"

- Mean Babies w/ Pink Eye - Tity Boi - Dangerous Misinformation - Show Tunes - Cinco de Mayo - Live From New York, Again - Apartheid Daydream - Combating Misinformation - The Sims 2 - Anatomy of Tribal Hysteria - Everyone Starts to Say It - Its Own Reward - From Cuba to the Marshall Islands - Entangling Alliances Recorded: April 29th, 2022 Published: April 30th, 2022 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subs...

May 01, 20221 hr 51 min

354 w/ Sarah Hepola "Barack's Misinformation Warfare Unit b/w Teenage Blackout "

Ulysses for kidz Stop complaining. It's a secret. It's all over, folks. Barack solved misinformation The Fairness Doctrine was dumb then. It's even dumber now BTW, they're *all* liars Defining misinformation (down) Sarah Hepola, author of the memoir Blackout and this great Atlantic piece Moynihan v. Hepola on drinking She started drinking at 7?? Wherein we demand Hepola credit the Fifth Column for saving her life or something On self-censorship and gaslighting Kmele's stirring defense of that fa...

Apr 24, 20221 hr 58 min
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