Elise is NOT happy about this album cover

And album covers. Are they sexy or just playing sexist?

But first, yes, First, we have an email Elliot Exchange to L two T's at nine dot CONU and our emailer this week is Marianne.

So.

Marianne says, I know this sends like a bit of a morbid topic, but if something happened to one of you, would you know what the other would want for their funeral? Have you thought about what you would like for your own funeral? Elise?

Thanks Maryanne. You know, everyone pretends they haven't thought about their funeral, but everyone has thought about their own funeral and what they would like. It's a bit moribund. It is a note, but it's very telling if you know what your partner would like. So I think you would like everyone to wear a Hawaiian shirt and celebration of your big life. They're no black suits, no, so lots of color, lots of hibiscuses and music that's very central to you.

There's be lots of music like my father, I'd have you know that the coffin as veils. We have the Carton Football Club song playing, do you know? And dad died? I spoke to the funeral people. I think it was Tobin Brothers. They said seventy percent of the funerals they organize, someone wants an AFL Club song being played.

That is extraordinary. Would just note to my future self, assuming that you may pass before me, or which I will. Why do you say that?

Well, because you're younger than me, and you know I'm not in the best of nick anymore, and all the rest of it.

And are we thinking ashes?

Yeah, I'm thinking ashes, you know, maybe put in some sort of firework rocket type thing and shot out somewhere, just a cliff, let's take you. Or But when I think about it, why not?

And look, I know we're joking about it, but the reason being, I've had a pretty challenging week with not one but three octogenarians in my life, planning all this stuff for age, care for them and for funerals, and a lot of people don't think ahead, and suddenly you're left with making these decisions. Would they want a funeral, would they want a party? Do they want to be buried? Do they want to be cremated? Who speaks? You know?

See, I actually think I will I will put the money aside first, like a special account, and say, or you can actually buy insurance, but just so you're not, you know, financially put out thinking it's going to cost a lot of money too.

Do we go there want an oak box?

Or do we go just the pine or the card? There's that. Even though I'm an atheist, I've started thinking about the afterlife, and you know that I'll be sort of hovering above as a spirit watching what's going on. Who's paying attention, who.

Is not deeply religious? From me?

I'd like there to be not enough seats for everyone, because lots of people would turn up and.

So they'd be standing. You really have thought about it? And what about the song?

Well, I think it'll be moving on up by primals because it's happy.

Yeah.

The other problem that it's there's several different versions. You've got to pick. The eily version came out, but.

I mean is seriously jesting aside. I think you should put your funereal planes, yes down, have a little fun for it. So yeah, your kids or your friends aren't left.

Going or you or me, and if you have someone escorting you and your moments of grief already moved in very quickly.

You said this on radio. That's twice this week. If you had passed away and I tune up with a new suit.

To be wearing a blazer and a cravat might work on a cruise ship in his spirits. Who knows you really thought about it? What would you like? Ela? I mean, I'm thinking something sound of music, themes for you.

Everyone wearing out is made out of curtains, is that right?

Something like that?

And a spunky Captain von Trapp.

Blowing the whistle. Everybody lines up.

That would be rate, wouldn't it? So, no priest, but Captain von Trapp, that would be great.

How many speakers? Now, I've been to a few funerals and wedding somewhere where everybody gets a turn, which I think less is.

More more just one ripper speech.

So let's say I'm already dead.

No, you're there, you're giving my speech. Let meant to countenance.

Unless you say not. Do we have a reserve speaker? God?

Yeah?

You know you know her daughter, she given a nice speech about it.

She would be beautiful and touching and lovely. I think it should be a celebration of a life, not a sort of sad event. And definitely ashes in the ocean and on the mountains.

He's just on the game. Back to the football theme. I know we talk about football a lot, but inter state and overseas listeners, it's sort of very central to life in Melbourne. But like my father had his ashes scattered in Carlton's traditional home ground, Princess Park, and again later found out that there's about two tons of ash of dead people.

That's so full.

Slightly mccunny, you said, it's actually quite good fertilizers.

So that's not a problem. Can you just scatter ashes wherever you want? Like, could you just go in front of a notre arme and go, yeah, you know, mum loved Paris ashes there.

Don't you lowed to? I don't know.

I wonder if there's all because you think about it. I mean, you're see in all those terrible comedy movies where they throw ashes out into the ocean, the wind blows it back in face.

There's that funny joke about you know, someone having their ashes or the relative's ashes on the mantle pace and a smoker comes along and keeps hashing into they look at them. Go gee, you put on a bit of weight haven't you.

So? I think we're both on the same page. We've been a little organized, keeping it a celebration. You want, primal scream, I would like turned to Stone by Elo what Tom, Because like you, I'm a child of the seventies. I really loved Vinyl and in particular ALB covers and they really made or broke respective record. Now this week a bit of a shock has come out. There is a young sort of pop starlet poplet called Sabrina Carpenter. Do you know about Sabrina?

Yeah, she's the granddaughter of Karen Carpenter, aren't she? I made that up?

That's quite clever. She has done an album called Man's Best Friend Apostrophe in the right spot, So there's a good start. And I would say it's possibly unless it's being ironic, which I can't see. A very sexist, degrading to women, retrograde, sad, pathetic album cover where you have her kind of on all fours, sort of reaching out to a man's leg and he's got a clump of her blonde hair and he's pulling it up. It's a

What's wrong with being sexy?

Which brings this tea that wonderful, wonderful scene in one of our favorite movies, Spinal Tap, where they do bring out an album cover and Frandrisher is their publicist. She goes, you cannot have this cover, and they said why, and she goes, you have a woman on all falls with a dog color around her neck, and there's a guy holding out a glove on.

All fours with a dog color around her neck and a leash and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding on to the leash and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive, you don't find that sexist?

And he goes, what's wrong? We're sexy?

What's wrong with being sexy?

I mean, there's no sex with seftist being sexy? What's wrong with being sexy? So this is I don't care if there's some deep message in it. At face value, it is sexist. It's not sexy. So got me thinking tom about good and bad album covers, And I've brought a little collection in Okay, particularly good ones while I prepare them are there any that stand out.

I've got three. So in nineteen seventy nine, my then best friend gave me Kisses album Dynasty, or as the Americans would say, Dynasty, and it has the four made up faces of the members of Kiss, you know, Peter Chris, Teine Simmons, Paul Stanley, and Ace Freely. And I unwrapped it on Christmas Day and my dad looked at it. What's that? It's a devil worship? You want me to play it? A year later, I said, cad, I go to the Kiss concert. You remember the album covered No Way.

That's good Now? Kiss did unmasked?

Yes, no, no, that ruined them?

No makeup back on boys.

Here's another one. Nineteen seventy five, one of the great singles from a one hit wonder band Boston came out and they're self tied, some people might say, to show off. The eponymous album has been like Elo has a sort of you know, a UFO was very popular in the mid seventies with Boston, and of course the main song was more than a Feeling and I like, I had that album. In fact, I still have it. And you mentioned spinal Tap before. And in the early nineties they

Did they actually think that true?

I think they thought it through.

And you know I also play on my Friend the Wind from your friend.

Well, that's right, Demis Rusos, and I bought Break Like the Wind because I thought it was so funny being you know, an undergraduate university students. And I still have it on CD, though not on it. And that's the thing about album covers is that since the demise of the now rebirth of the p record we you know, to Cee that was never quite because sets were terrible. As covers, well, see these often every thing in them you can unfold.

With the lyrics you're always singing wrong.

But a twelve inch album you've actually got enough real estate there, particularly you know, one that folds in half to see lyrics and photos and art and that sort of thing, and we sort of have lost that a bit these days.

Well, I'm going to bring out probably one of your favorites, and I love this and look the key to or good album cover is choice the band. I want to see the band in their band glory. So I think this is particularly good, which is Saturday Night Fever, because you've got your little mate down the bottom down.

John Travalta or in the film of course he's called Tony Manera Tony Minera.

And then you've got the triumvirate of the Beg's brothers and all their gloriousness.

Well really should be the Brothers GiB because that's what BG stood for, Brothers GiB like the Brother's Grim right, And a lot of people don't know though they grew up in Queensland and Australia.

They're Aussies, which is amazing. Now these are seminal albums, right, because dows the best of.

Jim Jim Morrison before he got fat. Did he get Oh yes, yes, Elvia's fat, not that fata. You know that fashion they had in the late sixties early seventies, three very tight jeans with a hint of flare down the ball froom and sort of a big belt with a sort of big belt buckle. And he couldn't wear that by about nineteen seventy two because he just got too fat.

So another one Dolly. We all love her. She's having a renaissance party. Yeah, look at that. God, she's a babe.

You know, she's been married to the same guy for like sixty years or something.

She's actually quite wholesome despite her experience, and she's got a really kind of May West kind of witch. But see there's Dolly in all her den and beauty. Such a babe.

And I must say I often gone by old records, not because I necessarily want to listen to the music, just because I'm like the album covers.

But they've got to reflect. So there she is looking Denim, She's just looking like a gorgeous girl. Now I love this. The Smiths the world won't listen. Look at that album coming.

It's fair early nineteen eighties and young men, you know.

Looking disenfranchised, unemployed, quite dark.

Go and tend to write and throw rocks at the police.

It's got that sort of simmering tension, hasn't it.

Well, Margaret Thatcher was the Prime minister back then.

It's got that youth disquiet.

And then she would have sent them all off to the Falklands War and that would have sorted them out.

That's a lot to take from one.

Well, this is the thing about album covers. You can read a lot into them.

Yea with the Dolly Parton school of dress ups. We also have here Bob Dylan Desire. He looks great there wearing some sort of animal around his neck in cowboy hats.

Well, he's gone electric at that stage. I think he's going through this sort of folk slash psychedelic phase. And he's got a cravat and he's wearing fur and a hat, and you know there's a lot going on.

It's all possibly too much. And there's a bit of wind there, breeze, and this is one a homegrown talent. Last but not least, this is a bit wrong. I don't know what happened here. But Johnny Farnham, what is that?

I like the This is Johnny Farnham sing a long album and he's leaning against a very famous Australian car. I think that's an h ka an ht hobbum.

Manaro, such a great car in red.

And Johnny's got the roll neck top on and the slightly flat jeans which.

Is in a baby blue would you say eggshell blue? Baby blue?

Sky blue, sky blue? And he was still young and innocent then so he was called Johnny and then about fifteen years later in the eighties he just became John Farner when he grew up, or Farnsie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's sort of leaning against the car in a nonchalant way. What's with that psychedelic fonds though? Like what happened there?

Well, this is the thing now. If you listen as I do to a lot of John Farnham's songs, there was one that came out in nineteen sixty nine or seventy called one and you can hear a very psychedelic trend. I think it might have been the only psychedelic song he did, but there was no way of getting away from it at Australia or anywhere in the world at that time.

So the key to all these album cover is just a small selection from a very very extensive collection. The band who it's about, what they represent, nice and easy.

The message and the mess and perhaps a certain as Austin Powers once said, I don't know what about it. I think it translates as you as a kla that.

You have it. So shame on you, Sabrina. We don't like your album cover, I do.

So says you know, I'm an officionado of skin carey rigorous skin care regime. It takes me hours every day to look the way I do. And apparently, after analyzing beauty routines from no few of them one hundred TikTok videos by content creators, what is that? Ages seven through to eighteen, researchers have found an average of eleven potentially irritating active ingredients in skin care regimes. Now. To be quite honest, I've always thought, you know, soap and water

Slightly? Funnily enough, I caught up with a very young fella when I was doing some car stuff and he said, yeah, I just use palm leive. I said, what is pali pal malieve? So it was sort of ironic because it was so simple, but even the way he pronounced it, So, Tom, what's happened? Skincare has got incredibly complex for young girls and they don't need that much. So when our fifteen year olds in to me, Mummy, I would like a serum, I said, honey, I didn't use serums till my late forties.

Is a serum?

To me?

It sounds like it's a cure for a plate.

It's it's sort of like in a skincare regime, you could have like a pre cleanse, a cleanse, a post cleanse, a tona, a serum, or a moisturizer. A tona is sort of often has alcohol in it and just burns your face off.

You don't drink it, you just pour it on your face, so it's like it's like deathol or something like that.

Ringent and it gets rid of all the I know, I'm just saying, you know, let me finish the massive list. Then a serum which is kind of like a gloopy, thicker, honey textured sort of product you put on your face, then a moisturizer, and then an SBF and then I cream. Right, So now the problem is, that's all right if you're sixty, right when you're fifteen, you.

Don't need it.

You don't need it.

What do you need to do is stay out of the sun.

Correct. That is the best skin care message you can give any team, which is SBF, stay out of the sun.

I remember on school this week, which I like to think I invented in nineteen eighty five. Anyway, we went up to the gold coast as you do, and you could walk onto one of the all the main beach there, I can't remember where it was, and a guy with it like a spray gun, like a powered spray gun. You'd stand there just in your speedos and he'd walk around you and spray every interview in oil and then you sort of lie on the beach and get cooked by the sun.

Think about that. But so you didn't suffer from zits or acne? Did you? I really did, And it really scars you literally and figuratively as a young person. So look, if perhaps a young kid has routine has problem skin, I'm all for looking at all different solutions. There's great lasers and things young kids can have for that. But you don't know how debilitating it is.

I've seen another. But coating your face in all this gunk is not going to help your skin.

It's going to make it worse.

It's going to clog it up. But I mean imaged if I ran, I don't know that. What's that coming Mecca that sells cosmic? I mean, I think this sort of stuff is fantastic. Teenage girls say going on eighteen different bottles of sea is just to get ready to go to school each day.

And then it becomes kind of a like like I guess people might collect cars or handbags. Then for girls, it's like, look at my shelf.

With all the products I use. Now I'm speaking that I went into an eighteen year olds rumored college into his room, and what he had was a rack of after after shaving spray on deodorant, you know, the.

Whole old factory things.

Yeah.

Really, Grip team boys. I welcome it because in our day.

It was just bo o bo no, no, no, there was Roscar, No, there was there was the terms of the after show we had. There was old Spice thirty three, thirty three and my favorite blue Stratos. I love that and the ad you'd be in a hang glider, a white hand glider and a blue sky and then somehow turned into an eagle and then you land and you anyway.

But a lot of sort of metamorphoses in after shave ads. Adam Driver from Star.

Wars, he's Darth Vader's dad, ending.

But anyway, he's in a burbary commercial for Assent, and I think he morphs into a horse. He's like riding a horse. And then I mean, check this out it's not.

Enough to merely train with horses. I almost joined it to the jedi oship, where the force will surround us. How to treat us bind us to become a hero, I must first become a horse, Jedi horse from Burbery.

Anyway, we digress back to teen girls. It has become awfully complicated, overly expensive, and where have they got to go for the rest of their life? Well, there you go, Tom, I've got all your funeral like plans written down. I hope you've got mine as well.

Indeed, I'm just gonna say it with my choice of song, because I'm getting more religious as I get older, it needs to be called. You know, you're cramming for the finals when you suddenly think, oh, what have God Israel? Maybe I should believing in him. The song I've chosen Moving on Up is because I'll be going up to Heaven, I hope.

Thank you for tuning in love you listening to the La Exchange. You can get us wherever you get your podcasts.

And of course follow everything Lease is up to on Instagram, Alease Elliott Underscore Media, and of course keep those emails coming. Elliott Exchange at nine dot com dot u