Turning Setbacks into Success: Sean O'Malley's Path to Performance Coaching

Time you make a decision, it's an opportunity. Every time you show up, it's an opportunity. Yeah. And that microprogression for you working towards something

Is gonna manifest.

Is the improvement.

Yeah. It's true.

It's not just about the result. It's not just about the outcome. Yeah. It's about what's expected before it and then compounding it into something beyond being displayed. Welcome to the doctor JJ Thomas podcast.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to the doctor JJ Thomas podcast. I'm JJ Thomas. I'm here with my very good friend, Sean O'Malley. Thanks for coming, Sean.

No problem.

Into it a little bit. For for the audience, since they don't know you that well, if you can just give a little bit about your background and, kinda what you do and go from there.

Alright. So she gave a sweet introduction. Thanks. I'm Sean O'Malley. Yeah. So I'll take it from college on. I went to Drexel University and had I wrestled 4 well, 6 years there. Yeah.

Okay.

Walked into college, like, £200. All of a sudden, got all the way up to 270. In 6 months. He had put on £60 6 months. Wow. Became a a big old boy. And, from there, segmented into my journey of confronting injuries and health problems. Yeah. So, I know this is detracting from the introduction part. But just a little story. Yeah.

No. That's important. I think, actually, I have questions. Like, I think as you're saying that, I'm like, I I actually didn't know I don't think I knew that part of your history. And so my mind my face was actually probably more like, oh, I have more questions.

Yeah. So But

I don't wanna interrupt you, so keep going.

Yeah. No. I'll just I'll hash out the story. Yeah. Yeah. So I went to college, wrestle heavyweight my first 4 years, put on all this weight, did not perform very well, went through a bunch of injuries. My first, college season ended up having this really bad neck infection. Yeah. I looked like a bullfrog. Combined with the double chin of being a fat guy, I also had my entire neck, like, swollen shut. Yeah. So I

Awesome.

Wasn't in the best shape but I was still, like, trying to prime myself up and being a top competitor. That following year, I end up getting more injuries. I ended up dislocating one of my shoulders and was getting, like, these really weird, like, neck pinches and nerve problems in my back. And that kinda crushed another season Yeah. Compounding that 3rd year.

Now mentally, I'm sure you're like, Jesus. Yeah. We're just saying that. Yeah.

Jesus is. Jesus. Jesus. Where? It wasn't like a it was like a tough experience. I was, like, getting thrown into the ringer, wanted to be a high performing athlete, had all these crazy aspirations of being, like, a national champ and an all American and Yeah. Just being a winner.

Right.

And every single time I was building up that ladder to get a taste of victory, taste of, like, that personal triumph of overcoming something. Something was hitting. Following season, I rupture my palm on my hand. Wow. I had no use of my right hand. A pain in the ass injury. Season after that, I shattered my ankle. Alright. Season's nipped in the bud. Yeah. My senior year of college, I had one objective. Alright? One objective, and it was to finish a full college season. Yes. Alright?

Right.

The vast majority of people, especially high performers. I wanna be an all American. I wanna be the top dog. And I got slapped in the face with the reality of that's not what this is about. Right. That's not what this is about. Yeah. Alright. It's about purpose at the end of the day and full expression. And I felt that if I had a simple objective of finishing 1 year healthy, which wasn't the case, I would be satisfied with myself.

It's awesome.

So that performance coaching business, I was like, who else can I execute it besides the team? I brought in roughly 30 guys out of 36 dudes on the team, and I worked with each of them individually to try to refine that mindset.

Awesome.

Get kids rolling, get kids head right, and understand what the bigger picture is, refining their beliefs, overcoming those demons. Everyone's got those personal demons. Yeah. And we ended up having a huge momentum shift. We tied the school record that season. I'm not saying it's because of me. These kids all put it on themselves, but their minds were right for that last year.

It's awesome.

And I got, a lot of these guys were able to leave huge impacts on the program. This is the tightest community overs I was ever a part of, and we ended up sending 7 guys to nationals.

So cool.

But on top of this journey, I had this big perspective of achieving something, living through full expression. And that full expression was finished in the season, but midway through the season, I dislocate my shoulder. Right. Alright. I screw up my neck. Yeah. Even worse. Yeah. I end up blowing out my LCL and my my lateral meniscus on my knee.

It's so funny when life shows us we're not in charge.

Exactly. Yeah. And I had that one goal to finish the season. Yeah. And through living and embracing that pain and embracing that suffering, I was able to leave an example on not only the program, but my family, my teammates. And that rolled over into kids doing great things with themselves and transpired into a business. Yeah. So that's order and grit. You see from the names, everyone always ask me what order means. If you look up the definition, it means passionate enthusiasm. Mhmm.

I looked it up when I first

saw your profile. Passion. Yeah. But that's not the reason why I chose the name.

Okay.

Okay? So if you look up into the meaning of the word passion. Alright? Passion. The original meaning of the word passion means to endure. Alright? But if you take it a step further, it's the suffering and death of Christ. Oh. Okay? I'm not a super religious person

Yeah.

But I believe in faith and higher purpose. Mhmm. And when I look at that, I was like, wow. Like, people always tell you to find your passion and commit to it. Yeah. Alright? But that's good advice at face value, but I don't think what they understand what that truly means.

Right.

What they're saying is find what you're willing to commit, commit to. Yeah.

What you're willing to

suffer for. Willing to suffer for. You commit to it.

That is so amazing.

So at the end of the day, I'm looking at this word arter and I was like, I came up with all these cool names for my business. I'm like, alright. Ardor is enthusiastically suffering. Yeah. Alright. Suffering with a smile on your face. Mhmm. And that's what I went through for the past 6 years.

And the thing is it's funny because I I would say I don't normally talk about my faith on the podcast just because it hasn't come up, but since it comes up, like, I I have a very strong faith. Doesn't mean I don't curse or things like that, but but the point is I believe things happen for a reason. And I believe that, like, as you were talking about your your goal was I I believe that I call it life so that I don't offend people usually. But, you know, whether for you, it's life or God or whatever it is, I think life puts things in our direction on purpose like you said, and sometimes we get something out of it that we didn't expect. And so I'm listening to your story and all I can think is you thought your goal was you thought your fulfillment was gonna be to finish the season.

Mhmm. Yeah. I totally agree with that. Yeah. And, the one thing is is, like, it's kinda funny, that get at the end of the season, you have, like, your senior speech. Okay. And it's always a tough pill to swallow for their seniors. I was telling myself, like, I'm gonna be a tough guy and all this stuff.

Oh, yeah?

But then you get slapped in the face of the reality and you're like, wow. I dedicated so much time. 18 years of my life, every single day, not going out to parties and goofing off Yeah.

Right.

And I call a lot of people family. You're family for me.

Yeah. I

agree. But what I contextualize love as is love is suffering for what is greater and true to you. Say that again. Love is suffering for what is greater and true to you.

Sure.

And in that scene of your speech, the only thing I could express was love.

Aw.

Because I saw my brother. I saw my family. I saw my team. Yeah. And that was something I was like, wow. Yeah.

Like, I

was able to contextualize this in my heart, and I broke down in front of, like, 50 people. It sucked. I hate when I hate seeing people, like, having people see me cry, but I was like, I I had to express that. It was just a full expression of who I was. Yeah.

It probably also came with a lot of gratitude, like you said. Like we were saying earlier, like, you your your result your reward was very different than you had planned for. But you've Yeah. I can only imagine that, like, while you didn't attain the exact goal that you'd set out for yourself, there must have been this realization that, wow, I gained all of this. I gained all of this love from all these these people that I've worked with

Mhmm.

And and had time with.

Exactly.

Yeah.

So, Keri, in that, I know this is not the introduction, but Listen. I We're we're we're moving with stories.

We're moving with stories. Wonderful. Everything you say has value.

So we're moving with stories. Yeah. So at that, like, at that moment in my life, I, like, create crafted this company. I started working with all the guys on the team. Yeah.

Right. It's

an outlook. It's a change of the day.

It's a choice. Financially.

It's a choice.

I agree.

And, how I was, like, looking at this is I presented him this one model I came up with. It's called the aura model.

I love this.

Alright. I'm

so glad you're going here.

The aura model.

This is one of the reasons I want you to know. This is one of the reasons I was like, you gotta come because it's cool.

Yeah. So my senior year or yeah. My senior year, after I messed my shoulder up and I'm ridiculously in pain and

Yeah.

I I had an option. I could either choose that misery outlook and that perception of just drudge and depression and say my season's over like I've done in the past, or I could choose something else. And I wrote down it's like 4 o'clock in the morning one night and I'm just stewing in pain And I'm like, okay. What are the things I need to prioritize? And I wrote down outlook. I wrote down I need to accept. Alright? And that's the third one was recognize.

Recognize.

Last one was action. Alright? Outlook, acceptance, recognition, and action.

Outlook, acceptance, recognition, action.

Alright. Love it. And I was, like, looking at it. I was, like, oh, wow.

Spelled aura.

It spells aura. O u r a is the original meaning. Oura, a u r a. But aura, it's my own version of aura. So breaking that down was, like, since I have this one objective and it's to live through a great example and help people grow on my team. I wanna be there for my family, be the example for my family, but also wanna finish what I started. In order for me to do that, I need to carry an outlook of greatness. Alright? Greatness is something greater than me. Alright?

Right.

It stinks. This stinks. Right. And then all of a sudden, things are start going on. I stay up late. All of a sudden, I go to bed at 2 o'clock. Alright? That next day, once I opened up my eyes, I have a choice. Mhmm. And that's your outlook. Mhmm. It's binary too. People think it's the spectrum of belief and all this stuff. It's a yes or a no. It's a good or a bad. Alright?

I love that.

It's a beautiful or it's an ugly.

I mean, when you first told me this when you first told me this, this model that you that you created when you were in your last year of college, I immediately I mean, my mom when she raised us, we didn't there wasn't much room for wallowing in our family either. And I really respect that though because it was like wallowing is it's a choice. And so the the words she always said to me is, like, happiness is a choice. Yeah. And so when you first said this to me, I was like, I love that because it is.

100%. Yeah. So you have that choice in the beginning of your day. Mhmm.

Alright? All the misery of yesterday a system.

Yeah. All that misery of yesterday has an option and it's a yes or a no.

That's great.

Alright. So I came up with this quote for myself. This is a perception. This is what I live through every single day once I open my eyes.

Okay.

Alright. It's a little ruthless, but I'm gonna tell it. Okay. Alright. I look at myself in the mirror if I have to say this too and really, really own it because it's true to me. Okay. I'm an untamable, unbreakable, irresistible savage on a warpath towards excellence. I love that. But I know what I'm living for. I'm gonna die trying to achieve it.

That's great.

Alright. And that knowing is that love. Mhmm. Okay? That knowing is true expression. I'm untamably radiating my full expression.

It's awesome.

Alright? That's the outlook. It's the first step. You could choose it. Or people watching, you could choose your outlook once you wake up. Yeah. Alright. It's a choice. If you're miserable, choose not to be.

That's right.

2nd is acceptance. Alright? You had that practice. You had that shitty day before. Once you chose your outlook and that outlook's greatness, you have to accept the things you can't change.

That's great.

Alright. I feel like shit.

Yeah. I dislocated my shoulder.

I dislocated my shoulder.

That sucks.

I can't fucking get out of my bed. Right. This sucks. That's right. But I'm great today, and I have to accept that.

Right. That's awesome.

I have to accept it. There's nothing I could do about it. It's unchangeable.

And I'm still gonna choose my outlook.

It's unchangeable. I can't control it. So I have to accept it. That's great. The third is recognition. You have things greater than you. Showing up to practice. It's telling your wife or husband that you love them. It's being there for your kids. Yeah. Alright. It's making breakfast and having a smile on your face even though you feel like shit. Yep. Alright. For your family. Alright. You recognize that opportunity. I get to get out of opportunity. I get to get out of bed and live my life.

Yeah. Alright.

I get to be me. Yeah. To be there for the people that I want. That's awesome. Awesome.

It is awesome.

The last thing is action. You show up and you do it. Yeah. You show up. That's it. The first, like, you you just have to show up and just having that presence. Alright. I'm fucking great. I accepted the things I can't change. I recognize this is a huge opportunity for me to get better. And then you take action on it by just showing up.

This is why

You just show up.

This is why you're here. And this is, like, for the PTs listening, this is a 100%. Because when I first heard you go through this for me, so many people popped in my head. Like, my pay not just my athletes, but all my patients, really. Like, all my patients, all my friends who are this is so applicable to everything in life.

Yeah. And that's like that's one thing that I'm not saying anybody watching is an addict or anything like that, but I have had a couple people in my life that had trouble Right. With addiction, stuff like that.

Oh, I think addiction. Yeah.

And going through that experience with them, if you go to NA or AA. Alright. They talk about the 12 steps. Yeah. Alright. And this is a a tough topic, but it's great principles. And the one thing because I went to a meeting with one of my buddies and the one thing that I learned that was super duper valuable and it's pretty freaking similar to that aura model I came up with was consideration, acceptance, recognition, and surrendering.

Yeah. Okay?

Yeah. Architecturalized is a little bit different. Totally. But those first two, alright, are the the difference. But Yeah. Consideration. Alright? People have these terrible circumstances that they're living living through. Alright? But considering where you are is very, very important.

Yeah.

Alright? And that's similar to an outlook. Yeah.

It is.

Outlook is different. Alright? Because you're projecting it. You're making the choice toward it.

That's right.

But these people who are going through those addictive habits and these really hard struggles in their life, they just need to consider their circumstance.

Yeah. But in both scenarios, this the the the steps are essentially helping you take action.

Yes.

Right? And so I love how yours is an active choice.

Mhmm.

Like, you're choosing Because, actually, I will say in my patients and and even my kids, like like you said, so many things are so vastly applicable to all areas of life. But when you make a decision, and then you commit, and you you commit, and you're consistent, and you dedicate, and you honor that choice, that original choice that you made, you're essentially instill your confidence. You you're instilling confidence in yourself to do it again and to do it again and to do it again. Right?

Yes. It's cool. So and the thing is is it's contagious. Yeah. That's the beautiful part about that.

It is.

If you walk into a room, I always say to the people that I work with, smile through your suffering.

Yeah.

Okay? Smile through your suffering. Mhmm. Alright? Everyone goes through a shit storm of mayhem. Mhmm. A shit storm. Alright? Mhmm. You don't wake up early enough. Yeah. Your back hurts. Whatever it is. Yeah. Smile through it.

Yeah. Did you I don't know if you've ever you and I have ever talked about this, but did you know that there's actually research that supports that if you fake a smile, you actually your body actually exhibits, it releases happy hormones? Mhmm. Isn't that crazy?

It's incredible.

Yeah. So it supports what you're saying.

Definitely. So yeah. So to piggyback off of that, what we like, what some of the things that I've been doing with the guys that I work with and how we're incorporating not just the aura model, but is this threat of, this this tough threat, which is suffering Yeah. At the end of the day. Endurance. Right. Right? Enduring through the pain. Yeah. Getting over that. We call it the demons. Right? Your demons are a combination of that fear and anxiety, that fight or flight response.

Sure.

And the beautiful thing about fighters is they live through authenticity every single day.

I know.

Every single day, they have to confront those demons. I because you got another person trying to kick the crap out of you.

I also feel I have to say, like, through the years, we've worked with more and more fighters through the years as you know. And, like, my respect for fighters, man, has gone so it's gotten so deep just on so many levels.

And it

it's that. It's like those guy talk about passion. Like, there's not a fighter. You can't do that sport without passion. Yeah. Yeah.

And the beautiful thing about it is and, like, you mentioned a couple of the guys that I that I'm helping out and working with. So I'll name name a few. So Andre Petroski. Alright. You talk to that dude. He's my guy. Yeah. Alright. But he is a person that you could look at, and he is just a pure expression of I fucking love this. Yeah. Alright. He's a good good person.

Uh-huh.

You look at him in the face and you're like, that is a good dude.

He is.

Alright. He has no ill will. He's there for he's there for his people.

Yeah. He is.

Alright. Same with Eddie Torres. Yeah. Eddie Torres. Team Taiyo no training. If you wanna get a good workout in, get better at jujitsu or anything, look at that dude. Yeah. That dude's a full expression of love.

Well, your entire it's interesting because I've been working with these guys a little bit too and really just the team and the community and and what's really evident about the way you guys work there. And and just so the audience knows, like, Sean does wrestling coaching there as well with them in addition to the mindset stuff, but but the whole community there is really a family. Like like, you know, the the the model that Eddie has and that you guys all have basically I feel like grown together is is it's a family. Mhmm. You you can feel it when you're in the building.

So the one really important thing is a lot of people the whole concept of ego. Alright? You look at a fighter and you're like, wow. This dude done so many things. But it's not just what he did. It's what everyone around him did. Yeah. Alright? Because it's an orchestrated effort.

It is.

And that's what the community and family comes into play. Mhmm. And you look at a a gym like team Taino, those dudes are literally a family. Yeah. Like, they like, you could go you could go up to any single one of them, and they're gonna give you encouragement. They're gonna help build your confidence. You could they'll give you an answer to the question that you're asking for, and they'll be there when shit hits the fan. Yep. That is the best little combo ever.

It's true.

And it's hard to find a tight knit group of people, especially at a gym that you could piggyback that off of.

Yeah. It's true.

And it's like the whole community aspect of the sport. I feel like it's a little bit undervalued. Obviously, got a lot of guys give shout outs to their gym and shout outs to their team, which is awesome. But having a conversation with the dude who's getting the shit beat out of him every single day to make sure that world champ could shine for 25 minutes Yeah. Is far and few.

I know.

They give they get they get a lapse of a shout out, but you don't really get to hear their perspective because what's going on there is you see every angle of what what what's actually occurring. There's a a a rule you're not supposed supposed to talk about what goes on in the gym.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Well, like, especially with fight camps and, like, training, sparring, all that stuff. But when you're looking at it in the context, like, me personally, working with Andre and and all these guys, you see what happens and the way they responded, the way they're overcoming their obstacles, and the way they're confronting those demons, those fears and anxieties. And it's a noble act to be a part of it. Like, I get the shit beat out of me every day, and I'd love every second.

I know you do.

I love every second of it. But the only reason why I do that is because these are people that are family. Yeah. Okay?

I know.

And families earned. And what are the, you know, what the principles of family are? This is just what I No. What are your principles to family?

My principles to family?

Yeah.

Well, loyalty. Well, love. It's gotta start with love.

Yeah. Let's that's it. That's a give me. I mean, okay. That's a corporate.

I'm like, but yeah. Get, but I think the love is the foundation to why you're loyal.

Mhmm.

I guess is why I mentioned it. So loyalty, commitment, honesty. Like, I feel like there's a foundational honesty that's that's needed to continue to feed that that togetherness, that effort together.

Definitely.

There's a there's a 3. Who are what are your 3?

So my 3 are trust, respect, and loyalty.

Pretty close.

Yeah. Trust, respect, and loyalty.

Respect. You're right. I always preach. I don't know why I didn't say respect, but I guess I feel like trust and they come out of those too. I totally agree. But

that's the primary reason for sacrifice.

Yeah.

Right? I'll get the shit beat out of me, but if you embody all 3 of those and it's reciprocated Yeah. I will be in your corner any day of the week.

Right.

Especially with the clients that I work with.

Right.

It has to be mutual trust, mutual respect Yeah. Mutual loyalty.

Yeah. You do a lot, like, you do a lot more than just get the shit beat out of you, though. I wanna I wanna recognize. Like, you have so many I remember that day you and I were talking to I was like, Sean, we were actually at the what were we at? National?

Mhmm.

We're at National?

Prep Nationals. I think

we're at Prep Nationals and, or maybe it was states or I can't remember. But no. It was Nationals. And you had this folder, and you're showing me a lot of the, like, a lot of the organizational content of what you do. Like, you you you have a lot of systems around the work you do with these athletes outside of just committing your body to them.

Mhmm. And I think the biggest thing is and this is what I try to live through is driving sensation. Okay?

Yes. And we

talked about that.

You did talk about this. I want more.

I've We've talked about this.

I wanna hear more.

Everyone always thinks there's 5 senses. Right?

Five senses.

Five senses. Your external senses. Feel, touch, taste, smell, all that stuff. Yeah. Alright. But you have 3 internal senses. The vestibular, propioceptive, and interceptive senses.

I love this. All my PTs are so happy right now.

Alright. Yep. So you have these these 8 do you have these 8 senses that are always incorporated in every single experience? Yeah. And when you have an experience, there's always a, let me detract. Whenever you have experience, you always have a stimuli attached to it, an effect, and a response. Mhmm. So my objective is when I'm working with these guys is to drive accept drive stimulus, affects, and, affects and responses that bring out the best senses of them.

That's perfect.

Alright. And it also works with reprogramming people's thoughts and beliefs.

This is I've I'm so glad we got here because for my PT world, like, so much of what we do is you and I were talking about like the somatosensory cortex and Yeah. And and re sort of retraining neural mapping

Mhmm.

For our patients, and it's true for performance too.

Yes.

Like it's exactly what you're saying that and with pain neuroscience education, like there's a lot of research around pain neuroscience education related to our patients and athletes progress in terms of rehab and, and it's it's plastic. It's changeable, and it's changeable through things like you're saying. So tell give it give me more.

Alright. So I'll I'll take a step back. So I'm a big reader, read a ton of books, and I ran, I like Ayn Rand, you know, like Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, and she has the romantic manifesto. You never read her?

No.

Fantastic book. Very it's like intellectual stuff.

Okay.

It's a little deep and dense and books are thick. But she has this one quote, alright, for her definition of art. And art is the selective this is her quote. Art is a selective recreation of an artist's metaphysical value judgment. Okay? A lot of big words there.

Yeah.

Alright. So art is a selective recreation. So it of a metaphysical value judgment.

I love that.

Metaphysics is abstractions of reality. Okay? So the artist sees what's going on. Alright?

And selectively chooses.

He selectively chooses what he would like to recreate as his perception Yeah. Based off his own value judgment. Uh-huh. What he believes or what she believes.

Right.

How she views it, her perception, her outlook. Yeah. Okay? And that was a driver for how I came up with this model. Okay? Because when you're going through the the ringer as an athlete, going to the practices, going to all this stuff, a lot of people do the same exact structured organization, but they have a selective recreation of what

What they're gonna prioritize.

What they're gonna prioritize and what they're gonna present. Yeah. So I I tell, the guys that I work with now is, like, the fighters especially, when you step in the octagon, when you step into that cage, it is a full expression of who you are. Yeah. We have self one and self 2. Alright? Self one is going on right now. This is just how we function as normal people. But your full true expression, who you authentically are, alright, is that person in the cage. Yeah.

That's so true.

And that's art. Yeah. That's art.

I love that. I say that all I actually it's so that's why I love talking with you because there's so many things that we talk about that are so translatable to all areas of life. And this is another one of those things where like when I'm teaching physical therapists, it it is an art. Mhmm. Like everything is an art. And when you use the definition that you're giving us all, that makes sense. That kind of explains why because we're all using our own expression of what we find value in.

Yes.

And that's what makes us each unique and special in our own way.

Yeah. And the the driving forces are reasoning, our self esteem, and our purpose.

Cool.

Our reasoning. What's the logic behind it? Yeah. Why are we doing this? Mhmm. Alright. What's the reason for us committing to that?

Yeah.

Alright. Our purpose, what is greater than us?

I love it.

What is greater than us? Why are we committing to this?

So how do you I'm curious how this, like, when you work with the guys because I don't think I've asked you this, actually. When you work with the guys at team Tano Mhmm. Do you I know that you have, like, a structured program, essentially. Do you, like, do you do you pick and choose when you break these concepts out on them? Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. So how do I contextualize it? I'll give you philosophy. Yeah. Alright. So in wrestling, in MMA, and all that stuff. Alright. It's an adaptive. Alright. You have to be adaptive. Alright. It's a very adaptive sequence of decisions

Yes.

That lead to an opportunity.

You're talking about this in the sport?

Yes. In sport.

I agree.

How I contextualize

with my business.

Being around wrestling for 18 years of my life and commit every single day, I always looked at it as an adaptive sequence

Yeah.

Alright, of decisions that lead to an opportunity.

It is.

That's a

good way.

That's a good way. Same exact thing with you doing physical therapy. 100%. Through a sequence of programming or sequence of systems Mhmm. That lead you to the opportunity to fix your pain.

And you have to be able to adapt along

the way. Exactly. You have to be able to adapt because there's always gonna be nuances and intricacies. Yeah. So when I'm working with my my clients, how I try to break it down is I listen to them. Yeah. That's the most important. I ask them penetrating questions. Yeah. That's second. Alright. So I never asked why. Alright. Why are you coming in here?

Right.

Why are you doing this?

Right.

Because it's triggering. It's challenging their intellect.

It does.

It challenges their reasoning. Yeah.

It's a yeah.

What I try to break it down is what we talk about. Reason, self esteem, and purpose.

It's great.

Alright. And I bring my questions all around and circulate it around 2 different contexts. What and how. Yeah. What are you doing this for and how are you doing it?

Love it.

Alright. And from there, I could start trickling in my systems. Yeah. Alright. If they're if they have something, like, let's say, hey, I have a competitive fear or they have a focus issue or their diet's not in check, I could run them through a specific program that is personally tailored to their focus area

It's awesome.

Through a conversation and through putting things on paper and expressing it.

That's something you do perfectly. Like, I am tell we had so many conversations. You know, I have all these experts on here, and and a a theme that I see amongst highly successful people in general is they take that extra step. They they take action.

Mhmm.

Like, a lot of people talk, but you have built into every single piece of your systems a even from the foundation, the the the concepts are are basically introduced with the intention of action. Yes. And so it's like, what is your reasoning? And identifying that is gonna get you to what action are you gonna do to to solve that. Right? It's it's beautiful.

And the funny thing is is, like, people, people will critique because everyone's so hyper focused on the results or the success Yeah. Of the opportunity, but I try to detract it. It's just I look at it as opportunities and micro movements. Mhmm. Alright? Anytime you make a decision, it's an opportunity. Every time you show up, it's an opportunity. Yeah. And that micro progression for you working towards something

Is gonna manifest.

Is the improvement.

Yeah. It's true.

It's not just about the result. It's not just about the outcome. Yeah. It's about what's expected before it and then compounding it into something being displayed.

And, honestly, I was just I actually had Jamir Nelson on, earlier today, and we were talking before the podcast, and we were talking about the same thing. He was like he was saying in in a lot of not his athletes, but in athletes in basketball, they often they're so focused on the end goal. It's exactly what you're saying. And he's like he's like the reward is in the work, and I'm like, I say that all the time. The work is the reward.

Mhmm.

Like, if you just focus on the work, everything else just comes into play.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's so cool.

The process is by far the most important part. Yeah. Everyone that we see is the highlight reel of competition Right. Which is awesome. But me personally, I crave the process. Yes. I built my business around the process. Yes. I've had guys come up to me the week before an event, like, something they gotta show up for a big meeting, a big public speaking Yeah. Engagement. And I'm like, dude, this is something that should have been handled weeks before. Yeah. Alright. It's crunch time now. Yeah.

Right.

Alright? That can't be the expectation.

That way.

Yeah. It has to be a micro improvement. Yeah. Alright. If you suck at public speaking, if you suck at having a a confrontation or having a hard con a conversation with somebody. Right. Alright. Let's focus on the micro improvement. Yeah. Alright. Maybe alright. So, I've had a couple of clients where, like, business guys. Yeah. Because I also work with some business professionals.

Okay.

And, I'll give an example. I'm not gonna give the name. But I had this one guy who had issues, with his dating life.

Okay.

Alright. He was an older gentleman and he went through, like, 3 divorces in his life. He was, like, in his sixties and he's, like, yeah. Like, all these girls that I go out are so hyper focused on what I'm able to provide them instead of who I actually am, my bad. Instead of who I instead of who I actually am.

Exactly.

Okay? And you're not able to convey anything authentic in the process. It's off fictitious.

Right.

It's bullshit. Right.

It's fluff. Right.

Alright. You got the cool watch. You got the Rolex. The nice shoes. The $200,000 or the Right. The $20,000 suit. Awesome, man. But think about the experience you could share with somebody. Yeah. Think about it. Yeah. Alright? And I go, alright. You you had a he had a date lined up. Alright. And this date that he was having, he was taking her, I think, to, like, steak 48 at Del Frisco's at the time. Whatever. One of those fancy steak houses. I go, you like this girl? She's like, yeah.

with her. It's a micro decision.

I try not to tell people what to do. But I was like, if you really wanna create something genuine

You have to change the pattern.

Want this girl to like you Yeah. And accept who you actually are Yeah. You know what you're gonna do? Alright. You got the money. Go spend $15 on an ice cream. Yep. Alright. Go walk around Rittenhouse Square and have a conversation with her.

That's great.

Look her in the face and tell her how beautiful she looks.

Amazing.

Alright. He's dating the girl still.

That's awesome. Alright.

That was 2 years ago.

Regular hitch.

Yeah. It's 2 years ago. I'm like, I'm not mister relationship advice, but that was something through a system No.

It's true.

That you could break out. Yeah. It doesn't have to be anything profound.

Right.

You just have to chunk down your experience You do. And reevaluate yourself.

And it's what's your reason. Like, what what are your goals. Right? And and your actions have to be in alignment with what your goals are.

Mhmm.

And so you totally pegged it. Like, if he wanted girls that valued something other than his financial contribution to them, then he had to show them that from day 1. Exactly. That's great.

So it's it's funny. Like, I've I I call it side projects. Like, my whole focus is working with athletes. Yeah. Especially combat sport athletes, the jujitsu, the wrestling, the MMA Yeah. Muay Thai, all those guys. But I get all these side projects. Yeah. And these side projects, I I love They're

kind of a fun challenge. Right?

They're fun because I get thrown like a bit a 1,000,000,000 different obstacles. Like, some dude's claustrophobic. I'm helping him out with this.

I love it.

Like, I'm not I like I always say this. I'm not a registered psychologist or medical professional.

Right.

But I could help you through the systems that I came up with. Talk to the process.

It's very cool.

Talk to the process. You have a fear at play. You have an anxiety at play. Let me hear you out Yeah. And I could help talk you through it.

It's very cool.

It's just a conversation.

I remember when so my 16 year old, is how I first met Sean O'Malley here. He, he was coaching he is coaching at their our, high school wrestling team. And I remember the first night he met you, he came home and he was like, mom, there's this new coach. He's pretty cool. And I was like, yeah.

The one thing I tried to and this is just from my own personal experience, Not knocking any psychologist or mindset coach or anything like that. But I feel like these people try to put on an image. Alright? And it rubs some individuals. A lot of people buy into it and Yeah. And it's beautiful. They have great things to express and to share with people, but I feel like it's unauthentic. And what I try to hyper focus on is my authenticity and the truth. Yeah. Alright.

Right.

But expressing it to me and helping you, like, guiding you through the process to express your own truth is the hardest thing for people. Yeah. Some people don't know their own truth

until they don't know their own truth. It's a 100%. It's funny. Yeah. I yeah.

That's what I was trying to do with your boys. Yeah. It's like every single practice, I coach the guys now. Every single practice, we focus on principle.

It's awesome.

Alright. Because principle allows you to express what's going on next. Allows you to interpret it for yourself and then figure it out your style. Yeah. Okay. And, we could do an exercise. So

You and I?

Yeah. We could do an exercise.

Let's do it.

Yeah. So, like, when, I think this is a a one of the reasons a bunch of the Haverford guys, like, the high school kids, I had a lot of fun with them, but I try to hyperfocus on my authenticity and being real with them. Yeah. Some coaches wanna put on a machismo.

Oh, no. No. No. I think authenticity is awesome.

And bully like, just because they got a taste of authority, put the kids down. I just try to be as real as possible with them. If they have a question, I'm answering it. Yeah. Alright.

Okay.

Alright. One thing that we worked on in practice was, expressing or asserting energy. Okay? Okay. Anytime you walk into a circumstance. Alright? We have this interview. Yeah. We have this conversation right now where you have to go work on a specific client. There has to be some energy at play. Yeah. You have to convey, alright, that enthusiasm. You have to convey that purpose, that drive, that self esteem, that confidence. Yeah. Alright.

And and I can relate, like, just with jiu jitsu. Like, I say that all the time. Like, sometimes I even still, I've been doing jiu jitsu a long time, and and there are so many times where I'll be rolling, like, if I'm rolling with somebody and and I get caught up in my thoughts, like, I know that I know I know that they're I've learned something to defend a move that they're going for, but I might freeze.

Mhmm. And I'm

like, oh my god. I don't know. I say to people all the time, like, I'm blue belt. And I'm like, I feel like I need a white belt. I need to go back to white belt because there are so many times where I'm like, oh my god. I I clearly don't remember anything, you know. So I I get that.

Yeah. So what we were what we would talk about was asserting some sense of energy every time you step on the mat and including practice because you always have to involve in the process. Yeah. That's what creates triggers for you to get comfortable when it's time to show up.

I agree.

So I did this when I was started guest lecturing. Professor, Ridgely, when I went to his lecture hall, we, I did this on it was like a 90 person lecture hall Okay. A couple of times. And it was awesome seeing everyone do it, but I decided to do it with all the guys on the team. Okay. And what what I came up with was the Ric Flair grizzly bear.

Oh my god. I remember when they all started doing the Ric Flair.

The Ric Flair grizzly bear. Alright. So context behind that. I was a big WWE fan when I was younger. When I first started wrestling, I thought it was gonna be like the WWE. Yeah. I was asking, like, the first question I ever asked my coach was, how do I hit a choke slam? How do I how do I how do I suplex somebody? I want a tombstone pole drive or somebody.

That's so funny.

But my dad was also a WWE fan, but he was like the WWF era. And he raised us on all the greats, like 100 the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Yeah. Uncle Steve Austin, all those guys. But one dude that I always loved, was Ric Flair.

Okay.

Because he was mister pizzazz. That dude was the most suave guy I've ever seen.

I didn't know who he was until my boys started doing the chant. I just want you to know.

So if you look at Ric Flair interviews especially, because I was a big I always was fascinated with the way people talked. Yeah. And he conveyed this energy that was just so attractive.

Yeah. He

was the heavyweight champion for the WWE, but he was able to captivate the crowd just because of the expression and his tonality Yeah. Alright, and inflection in his voice. But he had the Ric Flair woo.

I love that.

Like, nature boy woo. Alright? And he wouldn't just go, woo. Yeah. He would throw his whole body into it, like, woo. Like, scream. Like, throw his whole body in the air. Alright. So that's the full expression. That's setting the tone or asserting the energy of Ric Flair. Yeah. Alright? And the next one is the grizzly bear. Alright? Now mama grizzly bears with her cubs.

She's gonna be like, boy, if you go near my child

You mess with my baby, you're getting the full mama bear. Dinner. Exactly. So that was the Rick flair and grizzly bear.

I love that.

So it's conveying that full expression and setting the tone Yeah. For what's gonna happen next.

It's awesome.

What's gonna happen next? It doesn't matter if you're the I'm gonna be the nonchalant funky guy and and be loosey goosey and all that stuff. Right. At least you're setting a tone of excitement. Yeah. That's what we want.

An intention.

An intention. Yeah. Alright. There's intention behind it, which is beautiful.

It's awesome.

Ric Flager is aware?

So does that mean I what do I so

I'll stand I'll stand up and do it first. So Ric Flair, he doesn't just go. Right? He does.

He does. I've never heard it. I've only heard the boys do it.

You only heard the boys do it? So They go

we they always did 2 claps in a Ric Flair.

Yeah. Right? Two claps for Ric Flair. Like, that's like a, our high school coach in football used to do that all the time. I used to. That's also, like, another reason why I did this. But Ric Flair doesn't just go, oh. Alright. I'm gonna get loud here. Okay. He goes, woo. Alright. He throws his whole body into it. He carries the excitement. Okay. It's full enthusiasm and enthusiasm and expression. Okay. Alright. We're gonna do it.

So it'll go, whoo. And then, ah.

So I've seen you guys see this. Whoo. And then, ah. Okay. Back to back. Alright. So 3, 2, 1. Alright. And then what we do next is embrace the silence. Okay? Because then you get to think about what you just expressed.

It's awesome.

Alright. You conveyed the intention. You conveyed all that energy. But now it's your time to go at it.

That's so good.

Alright. And sometimes I do it in my car, but there's also other ways to set the tone.

What's funny as you were saying that I was thinking, I hadn't intended in my profession to I hadn't actually intended in my profession to have such a leadership role in terms of like, I hadn't sought out to teach. I hadn't taught. I hadn't sought out to open I actually hadn't sought out to open my own practice initially. Everything went back to what my intention of helping people and realizing that I could help more people through these other avenues. But my point of telling you that is, so early on when I fell into this teaching role and I started teaching more and more, I would and I still do it, actually, but I spend less time doing it now because I'm more confident.

Mhmm.

But early on, I would spend the entire drive to wherever I was teaching basically praying.

Yeah.

And and basically saying, like like, please allow me to express my to express myself in a way that I can help people learn the material that I know is so important. And, like, that was my Ric Flair.

Mhmm.

Like, it you know, I I didn't necessarily, like, you know, woo. But but I it was my intention of, like, I'm setting a tone for myself, and I know that my purpose every time I go to teach is to help people understand the content that I believe is so important and valuable for them. Mhmm. And but it wasn't like it wasn't just help me. It was basically help me develop the words and help them hear the words they need to hear.

Yes.

And it goes back to the art. Like, I knew even then that they were gonna hear what they needed to hear for their own expression.

Mhmm.

But I just wanted to give them the best opportunity to to learn whatever they needed to hear as well. Definitely. You know?

So I love that you pointed out, like, you can Ric Flair,

you can grizzly bear, you can pray, You can just set your intention even if you don't feel you're praying to a God.

Mhmm.

You know?

But then think about the sensations. Yeah. You have triggers attached to your sensations. Yeah. Music

is a beautiful 100%.

You hear it.

Yeah.

Right? And that just hearing the song, that's your trigger. Maybe it's your walk out song for a fighter. Yeah. Just hearing it, it'd be like, fuck, yeah. I'm a slut it now.

I'm in. I know. And same for our patients. Like, this is, like, for PTs. This is I had originally it's funny because I knew this would be a great episode because as you can see, this boy is very stimulating.

Definitely. And the common thread that I get with a lot of the clients that I work with, once they leave a meeting, alright, or once we leave a session, like, fuck, man. I wanna run through a brick wall.

I know.

I wanna run through a brick wall. That I swear to god, that's like 99% of everyone that I talk to.

It's true.

They're, like, I wanna run through a brick wall.

I know.

I don't know what just happened, but

Let's go.

I I need to I need to do something. I need to go hit an arm pump or do some push ups or go run 10 miles.

It's so true.

Because it's the the important thing is like and the person in my life that helps me do this is my dad. Yeah. He checks me, like, constantly. Like, I I talk to him pretty much every single day. And same with my brother. My brother and my dad check me all the time. Like, you doing this? You doing that? You doing this? Like, making sure I'm I'm in in play. Yeah. But that's also my role with working with people

Yeah.

Is people don't wanna have those tough conversations. Yeah. It's a very tough conversation uncovering truth. Mhmm. It's a very tough conversation for admitting a fear.

Yeah. It's a

very tough conversation for expressing logic and emotion at the same exact time. Right. Uncovering your reason and why it's so fucking important to you. Yep. Like, I love this. Like, that's an emotional response, but there's also logic behind that love. Yes. And that's what I'm here for.

And it's vulnerable. It's I understand what you're saying. Like, it it puts someone in a vulnerable position to share that with you. Mhmm. But I think what what I'm processing as we're talking is the way you're able to the way you're able to support your athletes in expressing themselves through that vulnerability is because you've already laid the foundation of love and support.

Yeah. And then what, how I incorporated it. Because my whole business is around family. Yeah. Okay? And when you become a part of my business, like, you start working with me, we bring you on. I make sure I put a concerted effort into making sure you are family. Yeah. Okay. But it has to be a mutual commitment. Obviously, if it's not mutual 100%. But when you make that commitment, alright, and we work together, I call it the high value family. We're the Oregon Riff family. Yeah. Alright.

That's awesome.

If you have something that that you wanna work towards, if you have something great that's going on in your life. Yeah. And I have someone in my network that I worked with.

I know.

I'm connecting you with them immediately. Yeah. Alright. Because it's all about what you're willing to give.

Yeah. I know. At the

end of the day.

It's awesome.

Alright.

Everything you're doing is awesome. I love it. I I I think is there anything else you wanted to get out? I wanna wrap up, but I

Yeah. No. We could wrap up. But one thing I wanted to say, I wanna give a couple of shout outs.

Oh, yeah.

So team Taino, I helped coach wrestling over there. I also trained jiu jitsu. I'm gonna start competing soon. So if anybody wants to see me compete, just gotta work with homegirl to make sure she's helping me get recovered

from some injuries. He's doing it.

But team Taino MMA, they are the tightest family in MMA. Yeah. Alright. They are beautiful people, a great support network, and you will be surrounded by killers and become a killer yourself if you go there. Philly MMA, there's a ton of gyms. There's, webs, Marquez. They're we're kind of like a tight knit community, all 3, and we shuffle around gyms. Yeah. But my home has been team Taino. And we got guys there like Andrew Petroski, Pat Sabatini, Parker Cropman, huge up and coming MMA fighter.

Oh, right.

Goes to put my buddy, Cam tomorrow. He's there. Taylor Samarko, a beautiful soul of a person. She's at team Taino. If you wanna become a better person, test your own mental gangster and really confront some of those demons while also becoming a badass and be surrounded by them. Show up to, Eddie Torres' gym. He trained in Hatfield, New Jersey. Second off, if you're a new person with JJ, she is a great fucking person. She is a great person. Alright?

Aw. Thanks, John.

I've had more results with you than any other doctor I've ever worked with. I got a bunch of surgeries. I got a cut of beam. But she's a beautiful spirit. She's a beautiful person, and she helps out anybody she can. If you could work with her and if you have the chance or afford it or whatever, do it. I'm not

You're so sweet.

I am saying, like, your family. Your family.

At you, brother. And that is, like, so my shout out is to Sean. If you guys are, like obviously, you're listening, but check out Sean. Has his own podcast, Arter and Grit. Check out his performance coaching business.

Yeah. If you wanna, follow me on Instagram or if you're interested in work with me, my Instagram handle is sean, s e a n, period, Ardern Grit. Spell it this way, a r d o r and a n d g r

I t. Ardor and Grit.

Yeah. DM me. I'm in the works of building out a website. So once that gets up and running, I'll post something on social media about it, and people could start applying through there. But if you're interested in working, DM me on Instagram.

We gotta end with a Ric Flair and a grizzly bear. Alright. We'll Ric Flair and grizzly

bear on again.

Are you

ready? Yes.

You're gonna count it off?

Alright. Yeah. 3, 2, 1. Okay. Wait.

Yeah. That wasn't it.

No. No. No. That's not it. I'm ready now. Alright. 3, 2, 1. Woah. There we go.