The Scuttlebutt - podcast episode cover

The Scuttlebutt

Apr 16, 202422 min
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Episode description

A famous golfer was spotted at a local bar in Dallas.

Transcript

This is the downbeat on ninety seven to one. The freak didn't my native tongue. Do you know any words in Italian you're gonna use? Huh? Do you know any words in Italian? Yeah? Absolutely, barely know what cities you're going to get choo train. They do. I did notice this. They do appreciate even if you're speaking English, if you do it like in that accent. Yeah I did. I did. Yeah, you blend in with your Texas Ranger cap that. I have no doubt you're gonna be

wearing holes? Can I get the pie? Do you have any clothes laid out? Specific? Or is this a pack? Bro? But are we going with rather just kind of the cavio. Look you have like a nice like a linen button down or just something to look kind of? I don't really do linen. It rubs up. It makes my nipples chafe. To get some shirts? Look, get some shirts cool, it's cool. I want you to go through the t s A checkpoint dressed as Chef Boyard d to get the way I'm going. Do you think that's funny? If you

look like Chef Boyard, it's like Dave too. I actually I'm wear joggers on the plane. Is that bad? What if you get a bone max comfort on the plane? Yeah, I agree. Joggers in a little sweater, a little cardigan, yeah, little hoodie in case it gets cool, a little jumper. A scuba tank. Yeah, we didn't go that far overboard to get you a scuba tank. As long as you're going to be in the water, that's really not going to help you much anyway. No,

if you're under the water, you're it's gone poorly for you. Anyway you want to, you're gonna want to stay at the surface. That's why we brought you the water. That's the pool noodle. Thank you for the water, weenie. I was gonna buy inflatable arm things for kids or water wings. Water wings, Oh, Malcolms wouldn't fit you. I was at the store. You're gonna fit those guns, and I'm like, I'm not spending ten bucks on these. Yeah, don't. This pool noodle was three

bucks. Yeah, my joke limits. My joke limits usually twenty dollars. But that damn noodle is going to stay in my house forever now. Yeah, but you can have fun with it, will you autograph the Oh? Yeah, the pool noodle yes, so we can and date it no reason. Will you take a magic Will you take a sharpie and draw a cavio mustache on Malcolm's rubber duck? Yeah they can remember you remember me going to Italy? Bro? You get your passport ready? Yeah? You have a

passport right? Yeah, I'll to Toronto once. You're gonna get your passport stamp. I knows maybe in Barcelona too, well, you're not gonna leave customs, right, I think so he won't get stamped in BARSI time. You better you better learn a couple of phrases in Italian. You better learn how to order coffee. Yeah, bathroom yep, I pretending like I'm deaf. That's going to actually pretty strategy. But then you probably should learn sign

language. If you far really loudly, you have to yell excuse EXCUSEA. That's my favorite thing, looking for riving a fat one and going excuseay e scoozye. I think the one phrase that I've made sure that I knew was na caffe one one coffee please, because you're gonna want to drink a bunch of coffee over there. He doesn't drink too much coffee. Yeah, he does every morning I drink coffee, but you're gonna get in the little cup.

You're gonna get a real Italian coffee. The cadillac of breakfast, breads, tons of bakery, bakery items. Dress. You need to go to a little cafe under a little overhang and sit outside. What if some Italian beauty falls in love with you? What are you gonna do? Fiance? Yeah, but he can't help it if it looks like an Italian Selma hyak. Yeah, I couldn't think of a famous hot Italian. There's got italians, Selma hia. I don't know, Well, who's the hottest famous Italian?

Go Mario, Mario, I don't know. You don't think about Italian much in that way when it comes to we all think of Italian women are hot, but you can't think of there's nothing better snookie then waking up early and walking down to the piazza, get you a nice ownA cafe, and we get Alexandra de Dario. Oh she's got Italian heritage, LUs she so what if she tries to steal you? Yep? Maybe you should watch True Detective season one. I don't need to watch way over just one scene.

Just stare at that watch the plane and leave that scene in front of you for the whole flo I'm not going to pull a Ben and have Nayling Palin up on my computer on the plane. How that happen? You're gonna bring it to land the plane in Birmingham out of nowhere. They divert because of Ben's plane Porno. There's there's been a situation. We're going to lay this bird down. It's because Ben was watching Naylan Palin. The hell? Are you gonna bring your sleep mask on the plane. That's a good idea.

Kevin and I are sleeping. I have sleeps ready to go, and it's kind of a nap game changer. I've never in my life been sleep mask guy, but now I am. You love it, don't you? I love it because there's something also you associate with it. You put over your face. It's comforting, and then it it kind of lets you know that it's time to shut it down for a while. It works. I'm bringing on the plane in Vegas. I don't need to get one of those.

Yeah, I've never had it. Because I read an article about the like putting up not for me, but the youth are putting like a sweater around their head. It swaddles their whole head. Yeah, that's helping them sleep, you feel comfortable or whatever. Have you seen the inflatable thing? Yeah, in it and it's like a cube and you put your head down into it. Yeah. I got one of those you do for the plane as she got two of them. I was like, all right, cool,

I've never liked the next thing. The next thing's never really worked because you're probably wearing it backwards. I'm wearing on my foot. That's that's one reason everybody wears the next thing backwards. Oh you think the opening is in the back? Yeah? Yeah, the opening is in the back, is that right? Yeah? You put it like this, not like that. Yeah, it works. I think the the neck pillow is awesome if you wear

it right and you just kind of set your chin down on it. But if you have the little space the break in the front, it's like what am I doing? But if you lay head back or to the side, I guess it works either way. Right, Well, you've got the head rest for back, and you know that's the whole point is to keep your head from because that's the thing is when you're nodding off in a seated position. You always wake up when you get to that. That keeps you from

going right, you don't want to go I'll sleep for ten minutes. Yeah, boy, it sucks trying to sleep on a plane. And then you try to do that, I'll lean forward onto the tray and put my hand on my arms. That doesn't work. I'm going to lean into the the to the blow up inflatable box cube. It's deaf. It's difficult to describe. I think I know what you mean. Is there a little stunt for your hands too, like this block and you kind of put your face down.

Yeah, it's kind of good. It's soft. Yeah. One thing that you're going to love, at least I did, and you're gonna want to embrace. First of all, dinner is late and it's long, right yeah, well nice, Yeah, And you can sit and have dinner for two or three hours, and it can go to ten eleven o'clock at night in some places, and you're but you're gonna get up early. You're gonna want to get up early, and you're like, well, when do I

sleep? There's this cultural thing in Europe and specifically Italy called siesta, and that's pretty much when everything shuts down from what would you say, Mikey, from about two to five something like that. They do like the restaurants. Everything is just kind of shut down and everyone takes a big fat net. Is so the afternoon. I am looking forward to siesta. Yeah, you get up early, you do stuff in the morning. Yeah, it's great. I bounce, especially on vacation, on trips. I'm let's go late

nights. Lots of veno, lots of heavy pasta. You just crash out and you wake up. You get about the six hours of sleep. Wake up. You need to try the mortadella too, which is essentially blooney, but it's like quality. If their place has like a mortadella appetizer, get it because you don't think I don't want baloney. But good you do. God, it's amazing. You're gonna eat so good. Kevin, I'm gonna be a huge balloon. Hers not me? Who cares? Not me?

Maybe once we talked about me too much today? No, like unlike me. Kevin Gray is another Kevin, and he has a podcast called Inside the MAVs. It's the official MAVs podcast of ninety seven. Won the Freak and they're getting ready for MAVs and Clippers. He's got big guests, including the great Mark Followell all right, Tim Cato, the Athletic He's talk, Franco of D Magazine, and more. I'm gonna try to get Kevin Gray to join us Thursday for an half hour Maverick playoff preview. We're gonna try to

get a Kevin every day to join us. Maybe let's do that. I got Spacey lined up for Friday. If you're down, Yeah, yeah, we got Kevin Spacey's first time on a live radio interview in five years. For real, Let's try to get a Kevin Kevin great Thursday. I need to get a Kevin from hit him with a bunch of ass balls. We call our old friend Monty. He might still have Kevin James's number, Okay, perfect, King of Queen's perfect. All right, let's do this,

Hinch, Kevin Minch. You can get Mention on to talk rangers Namo. Okay, we get Kevin Costner. Got to just leave a fifteen minute talkback. We don't have talkbacks either. I don't know how to do it. Do you train me on everything? Kevin? Pull us some extra talkbacks today? No? Will you pre record some talkbacks of the future, No, of the future. Yeah, okay, So I saw the story ken on the USA today today. So the Rangers gave all their clubhouse guys. The

Becks did this too, but the Rangers made more money. They gave all the clubbies five hundred can each hitting. No, they did, Yes, they did for the World Series. Because all the Rangers got five hundred thousand dollars checks for winning the World Series. They gave them. They did not give their clubhouse. They gave all the clubies half their million dollars. Five hundred and five thousand dollars. Are you Kidding's beautiful? Changed their life.

And there's the interviews got some of these clubbies talking about paying for their house. Oh my god, dude, it's a great And the Diamondbacks did the same thing, three hundred and twenty thousand for them, and they hooked up all of their clubbies. Now this was a thing you never heard about a team. I mean I've heard about you know, you tip your your clubbies and if you win the World Series there's a little bonus. But I thought, I mean, that is insane, Like if you'd have told me they

gave them thirty thousand dollars. My eyebrow would have raised even at that. I would have thought maybe five to ten grand at best. Everyone is serious this interviews. It's a USA today. It's like some of these clubbies who did the interview were like just talking about how unexpected it was both sides. They were not expecting that. Dude, if you gave Mark Cuban a half a million dollars, just here, here's a half a million dollars, he'd be like, whoa, why, thanks, Oh my god, that's a

lot of money. Man. It was also they like, and they're talking about the hours too. These guys work, which if Rangers play at seven, those guys get there before noon and they're not done until midnight. Yeah, and I got a tough job on then road trips, all the pouch or just the system you have to follow. I know, the road club.

He is a good gig because you just take care of the road team, right, Yeah, because they have their own I'm sure, but yeah, there's something you do and then they can tip you too per road. Yes, and I know they all get nice seasonal season ending gifts and bonuses from the players. But I suppose if you win the World Series, Yeah, you could expect a big boy. That is great. I wonder if they had any the idea that it was they were going to make that much

money. Uh, it doesn't seem like they had any clue and it doesn't say like whose idea it was, but both teams did it, which makes you like the Uh that makes you like the Diamondbacks a little more too, you know, you know, you think about like how much Corey Seeker makes. Yes, his Rangers got five hundred and five thousand dollars checks. The

Diamondbacks got three hundred and thirteen thousand dollars checks. So that was that was the team World Series bonuses too, or something like that, because yeah, I said, they they wanted the everyone in their in their house or in their room right to get paid the same thing we got paid. Yeah, incredible, that's so nice. That is awesome. Stories. It is life

changing. Jimmy Garrett, who handles who also handles the umpire's room, not only paid off his house, but travel to Baltimore and New York with his wife to watch the final performances of Kiss all Right spend that money the time Garrett had seen them perform, I wanted to see their last show. Paul Seawold said that the thank yous and tips are great for these guys at the end of the year, but when you get to the World Series, that

check starts to get life changing. They can pay off their mortgage, their kids can go to any college they want. That's really special. So that's a nice story right there. That is cool. Janikowski said. They all came and thanked us, and we were like, you guys are welcome, but we're not really doing you a favor. You deserve this. You guys work terrible hours. They do, work eleven a m. Till midnight. What a cool story. Snow glory and washing underwear and jockstraps, cleaning the

showers, vacuuting the clubhouse floors. I mean, yeah, you are a high performance janitor, right part of it. That's cool, tending to their every need. Yes, you probably got a few high maintenance nuts on every team. Yeap. Oh my god, you're writing the phone number down and running it up to some hot in the ninth row. Put the number on a baseball, throw it to her. That's really nice. Uh. Other stories, So now have nice stories today. Nice stories besides one wait till

eight thirty homie. Yeah woof. By the way, guys, the nine o'clock segments day won't be podcasted. So if you're one of those people who listens on podcasts only, why did you you tweeted that out? And I don't understand why you mean one of the two hundred thousand podcast downloads we get every month. Yes, you're not gonna get that one today, nine am segment, So listen live or get nothing. That's mean. Poll Dant's coming

up in eight minutes. There's been some new polls, guys. I've been tracking them and I think we've got a chance for our listeners to contribute two one four eight one seven seven eight seven one nine seven to one. Next segment, Scotti Scheffer gets back to town. Dodge's the media interviews like I'm trying to answer your questions to get back home. My wife's pregnant, about to have a baby. Gotta get home. I just want to get home. Kept saying it multiple times, gotta get home, she's about to pop.

Gotta get home. Well, he was hanging out in Dallas last night. Did you see this Danny in wood taver to the tav Are you allowed to go have drinks once? You get home from winning the Masters, after you've told everyone in the world you got to get home to be next next to your pregnant wife. Look, if you've got two of those green bastards hanging in your closet, you can pretty much do whatever you want. I would think, Yeah, that's the ultimate walk out to the curb. Take

a look at this house. I guess, man, you're welcome. That's He's just basically said, Look, I don't like doing media. That's all it is. I think this is kind of I mean, I think it's awesome. I obviously don't care, but it's a little odd. We were talking yesterday about the Master's trinket he gets from making an eagle, and I guess we assumed he didn't drink. It's a crystal trinket, A crystal trink I bet he gets hammered. Who chef, I bet he is a party

animal. No, I don't think he's a party animal. You don't even know. Why would you even assume that. I bet he can drink a lot then and doesn't get hammered because of his big figure. That makes sense. I look, I think this is awesome, but it's a little odd. You're gonna be the Bible man. I would leave this tournament to get home to my pregnant wife. And I guess did he go straight to that?

Right? He took a bunch of pictures with patrons. But okay, so have you guys ever been Yeah, okay, so that's like the dive bar of HP. And I dated a gal for a couple of years that lived over by there, and if we ever hung out in her neighborhood, we would go to the tab and it's a great spot. Now, I don't know. Look, if you live in East Dallas and you get home from a trip, one of your favorite burgers might be at the Lakewood Landing, Well, I'm gonna stop in and grab a burger and take it home.

It could have been something as innocent as that were, because this is a place that he hung out at in college, knows people there. It's kind of like a neighborhood, family type spot. And maybe he just wanted to go and get some some loaded uh loaded skins to take home to the pregnant wife and took a few snapshots while he was there. But Kevin's insinuating that he went there and drank fourteen pictures of natty light. He wore the

green jacket. He was trying to hang out. Hey, imagine playing tonsil hockey was from SMU. Let's just broaden the possibilities tonsil hockey totally. What's next? You can go home and play a little pocket pool. Huh, Scotty Scottie it in would tavern last night? I would imagine. I think it's cool. He checked in at home, I met some friends, quietly opened the front door. He didn't hear anything. He just set his golf

bag down. You turn the handle of the front door and apply equal pressure as you're pulling, and then you barely get it, and then turn the endles like bear bear, and then the most gentle kiss on the forehead. He's probably got an electric car, so it starts real quiet. You need to rest, and then like a cartoon character, tiptelling back on the front door. He's in Scooby Doom, a ghost the high ghost Walk. Now,

okay, shots. He probably had a lot of friends, and that might be his own, you know, no doubt met me and in wood We're gonna have have a beer. Yeah, sure, say cheers. And he probably hangs out there all the time, secretly and full support for wearing the green jacket. Is he wearing the same He's wearing the He's on the plane and flew home. He on topped his shirt, but that's the shirt

he was wearing. He didn't even go home. He went straight to the tavern, picked up some food and brought it home to the pregnant wife. He had to because she's hungry. He had to make the FaceTime on the way home. Hey, I'm gonna stop by the Foret some food where I haven't sided yet. I'll grab something. Don't worry, I'll call it in. Somebody texted him that his wife was there, so which you know,

the tavern? I don't know, No fun, o't know if you got about fifteen days to pop a baby out, if you need to be hanging out at the Inwood tavern, Kevin, when you can can do things like normal people. And Wood said his wife was there with him. Buddy works at Inwood. Wife was there? She was there? All right. Well that's a quick and well confirmed scott he's nice guy, really boring. Then, God, I was hoping there was some action there, give us something.

Scottie took his wife to the bar. Takes me perfect, he took his pregnant wife to the bar and they had some Natcho's eight and three quarter a month pregnant wife. Why is he so perfect? He's so perfect? Can we not get him on? Kevin? Not today? Not today? Have you tried? We gotta go? Two and four eight seven seven one Contribute. It's a mystery to you. If you contribute to the next segment, you'll have a chance to win tickets to see Yes and Deep Purple the

pole dances next. Some new poles have hit with some big news. So confused,

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