The Opener: September 26, 2023 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: September 26, 2023

Sep 26, 202328 min
--:--
--:--
Download Metacast podcast app
Listen to this episode in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Tuesday September 26th, 2023, featuring KT's review of his trip to Green Bay plus Danny has a nocturnal admission.

Transcript

All right, it's me ask Wove. Its good Tuesday morning. All Danny Bayliss is here, Mike's Roy's here at J. J. Jackson as well. I'm Kevin. We have fun today in one hour Sports at seven, good god, it's Rangers season, nut Cowboys season. You know who won't commit a holding penalty that I'll set your offense back to Rangers. They just won't. You know who we'll give you have red zone woes. It's Rangers. Seven o'clock. That's a college stuff, kind of wild. Eight o'clock.

I do have Cowboys thoughts because I was done yesterday and I did watch the game on the plane closely. Really, Oh man on your computer? Oh god, not my on my phone, because I didn't take my computer. You know, I don't want to take a computer on a trip. That's a sad experience watching a game that you care about on your phone. I didn't care about the game. You know, you have to care about

it a little bit. I was listening for Moose. I was listening to see if a kicker would miss a kick and one of the mascots would bang their head off this support beam. You were you were razor sharp, focused on the return cut. Did you see when Tony Pollard lost a shoe? Though, Yeah, that's right. We didn't talk about that yesterday. I did, Boy, I immediately parked up because you could have no shoe. It was week two, obviously, but you could have done oh, cowboy

will lose a shoe, and that would have been awesome too. I had to put it in week two for Tyler Beadest. She didn't even play yesterday. Next year we need to do year long your long shoes. Well that's a great one. Well, look, cowboy's a shoe this this year. My Twitter did blow up really on the Pollard shoe bro Like, no, I'm wasn't even close to being right, because I would love McCarthy lying on the ground at some point. Yeah, for a full year. Oh wow,

I like the wine Lady coach, we need to play. You know that bitch gotlo was coming to what watch the videos. They clearly stop the timer and she tries to get up, She goes, she looks up at the camera and she goes and squeezes a few more and then she falls. It's like, you cheated, girl, and you got what you deserve. When you cheat, you fall. The crime of smashing grapes with her feet. She was local, right, I had like Arizona. That could be

wrong. What you should the wind knocked out of her? Get bathed. It's like a seal. You ever had a wind knocked out of you? Good bunch? That's not fun. You ever do it in a sports game where the coach comes out and the solution is to grab you by your belt and like lift you off the ground helping? Not only in sports where you land on the ball. Oh yeah, it sucks, Yeah, terrible, It's scary. It's scary. You can look, you cannot breathe. You're

feeling like the scariest. You're dying, Yes, in front of everyone. Is terrible. Oh. A guy didd into golf course Mikey on Rider Cup week? My was he European or American? We don't know. Find out that's six thirty. Have you've ever booked a tea time at Tennyson? I don't fault you for that. Do you actually have to book a tea time at Tennyson or do you just like walk over from the fireplace lounge and start

playing. It's nicer than that. It is nicer than that. Sometimes you have to book a tea time at No, it's just the neighborhood, not Tennyson Glenn, which is there, and they're lesser course because Tennyson Highlands is the first one. And that normal though that like golf courses tend to be surrounded by some rough neighborhoods, yeah, oftentimes because they're old. Yeah, like what the Cedar Crest is in a rough, rough fish neighborhood, but

a beautiful course with a wrought iron fence around the whole thing. D d Ac is right up there on Ferguson where people get shot all the time. Yeah, or Laprada or whatever. I don't know, it's weird. Cedar Crest is like now there's like so many nice houses being bought up around there, and I'm like, don't make it two NICs, Like, I don't know. I don't like when that happens. Talking about gentrification, Kevin, I like that, I can't we just have some normal houses? Does everything

have to be huge? Well? How do you You don't build a new house that's not at least somewhat modern. Book stands out in a neighborhood with seventy year old houses. I grew up in my neighbors were goats and chickens. So like when things get too big around me, it makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, and that's why I live in a crappy neighborhood and the beautiful town of Richardson. It'll take down Farmers Branch any day. All that's going

around. Oh oh, Ben venut, I'm hearing about something at seven thirty. It's the scuttle butt, but I'm renaming it today. Where are all of our rewards? Hmm? I wonder what could be the lead there? Yeah, I haven't had an award and quite some time, you dirty dog. He tried to go the whole show without anyone mentioned it, and Ben Rogers came in here and couldn't nail it. For those that don't know, hey, we were laser focused on NFL football yesterday. Brow we didn't have

time for awards. No back padding, you guys crush yesterday there was no circle jerking or back padding, none of that until Ben came in here. Yeah and did both to you. That was nice as he tries to get to know you better. It's going slowly, Yeah, I don't think it's I think it's moving in any direction at all. The first time he saw you. He called you cash, but he's trying to win you over. Now, can you believe it? That's outstanding. It's pretty badass. Thank

you, Dallas Observers. Radio Personality of the Year twenty twenty three goes to one Mike's Roy. Did you see the other nominastic? No? I didn't Kevin. Oh, imagine you have a list. You didn't see him. I don't know what that means. There are other nominees. They they narrowed these down to finalists. No, they don't know. You gotta work behind the scenes. You have to contact your Dallas Observer friends. Okay, you didn't see no Kevin, who are that? I'm not gonna tell you,

all right, we'll tell him later. Bring it up, set an appointment. Well, I mentioned the count. If you did that, then you know you might be Radio Personality of the Year and I don't want it. And when you combine that with my my victory and the stand Up Comedian of the Year for DW that I didn't see that. Yeah, they kind of buried it, you know. I told him, Hey, I don't like Yeah. It was on page ninety one of the Observe ninety one pages.

Congrats as just great. Uh yeah, that's just great. That was really cool. It was a big freak weekend. Never had anything nice happened to me like that. This was shocking and very very cool. It was kind of cool, like I left town for the weekend and then the freak just had a great weekend, and it was a big sign. I think of moving to Seattle. Condition by subtraction. I think that's the thing people say, definitely. Well, I trust me, trust me. I deal with

it more than you guys even know. Oh, why don't you just go to another show? Well, Mike and Danny got this. I know. People like, oh my god, No, were like, were miserable. Jesus. It feels different, you know. We were over the coffee machine at eight thirty, was like, oh god, I mean Kevin. Kevin's not here. It's awful, Mike Mikey said, a stool has three legs, not two, Like, I don't sit on a stool with two legs. Who's gonna rub our feet during shows? You can't. Who's gonna make

our coffee? You must have three. I'm gonna do a quick one. No, Danny's gonna go first. Let me do this, because I think you had some you said you had you had some ejaculate. No no, no, no, no, no, you Kevin, it's gonna take you a day or two ease back into this. That's obvious. What what's he doing. I think he's just fired up. I think he's excited if the day he's got to demonstrate value of bomb. May you may you may have heard the term radio blue balls and you get to see it in action today

from Senor Cavo. I think that Mike's Erroy winning Radio Personality of the Year and the Observer had some influence on something that happened to me last night. And because now it's time for nocturnal admissions, yes we please explain what this is. Yeah, it's a simple policy that states, if you have a dream that features or contains one of your coworkers, you must reveal the information

and the story of that dream live on the air to that coworker. Well, that very thing occurred to me last night, and this dream was so vivid and maybe impactful that the first thing I did when I the alarm went off is immediately jumped up and before I even fed my dog, I grabbed the laptop and opened up notes and started typing and this is what I came up with at four twenty four in the morning. Be ready, I'm ready, Okay. I'm walking through the main area of a shopping mall emblematic of

the mid nineteen eighties. Ahead is an escalator with a very low grade that descends toward what appears to be a video game arcade. As I ride down toward it and see that the types of games inside are the ones that I've never seen before, pinball machines that have images of heavy metal bands, but low level bands that would not typically have games licensed to them. As I

enter the game room, I see Katie and Sir Roy. Katie is playing a machine and Sir Roy is walking through the arcade as if he is looking

for someone to talk with. Somehow, I'm able to ascertain that Sir Roy has just won twenty five hundred dollars off some Russian mobster types in a video game challenge, which I'm not surprised by, because in my dream, Sir Roy comes off like the kid in school that grew up with a pool table and his dad probably looked like Smoky in the Bandit era Burt Reynolds, and he probably screwed every divorce in his neighborhood, which likely meant that s Roy

was quite adept at parlor games like darts and had his first beer when he was six. I saddle up to play a game I've never seen before, featuring the image of local nighties Dallas TV News icons like Clarice Tinsley and John McKay. Yes, I put my quarters in and begin playing, and the game on the screen is nothing more than Galica. As I capture my second

ship, which increases my firing power by two times. For some reason, I let every single enemy escape without firing a shot in the first bonus round. So Roy is standing over my shoulder, belittling my strategy and laughing at my gameplay the entire time. And then my alarm went off and I woke up. Yes, I don't like that, and I don't belittle it was

ever weird. Yeah, it was so effing weird to see this video game and you're like walking around just big shotting everybody, and you got twenty five hundred dollars that you just are bragging about that you won in this video game challenge, and these guys that are Russian dudes and suits are like, hey, he's the best. He's so good at this video game and they're doing shots of vodka. But I am looking for someone to talk to you.

You're wanting to tell a friend about what I tell someone, so rather than tell me about it, I'm playing the Fox four News video game. But that's just Gallaga and you're like laughing at me because you know the challenge drowned where they all you know, you're just basically shooting and nobody's shooting happy. I'm just watching them just go by, and I don't fire one shot, and you were just ripping me. What are you doing, you idiot?

You're not even hitting your buttons. I'm just frozen. He move, let me because I think I was intimidated by I was in the same with the radio personality of the year. Good god. No, that's why this should have never come up yesterday or today, is because that that's gonna be with infiltrated my dreams. Yeah, well, thank you. I'm honored. I

wonder if it's is the last was that mean as your last dream? You think, like, what, yeah, it was the I mean it was four four twenties when my alarm goes off and the alarm I was so mad because I wanted to see how this thing finished, because dude, it was a cool dream and it was incredibly lucid, full color. I dream if my dreams are lucid, they're always in full color. And it was so

much fun. But there was that that kind of tension, and I felt like, I don't know, I felt really uh insecure playing the game because here's big baller ser Roy just ripping me to shreds and he's got a pocketful of money that he won off the mob. Like the movie The Machine with Bert Chreish or our friend, I will never belittle you. I can't think but support your Galagha. Fox War Games, Yeah, that's weird, dude,

the Fox four parts definitely weird. I walked up there's John McKay and Clarice Tinsley on the you know, the ace of this video game, and I just shots yeah, and I'm like, oh, it's just galling goods where you have dreams and like it's sort of it's reality. And then there's just a couple of wild cards thrown in. Yeah, it just confirmed to you that it's a dream. It's just your brain working without any any structure, you know, it just throws fillers into random like why are you think

about Clarice's Tinsley or Fox four? What is on our screen every damn day? It's Fox four News. Now. Granted we've graduated beyond the old the old guard, and now we have like twenty three year old Instagram models doing the news and weather every day. You're calling Evan Andrews an Instagram model who's doing the beautiful job on the weather today? Is that that dude? Yes? I think it was Jim Knox. That's not Knox is a Naxie look alike and a Coach K look alike. It's Naxian Coach K combined. And

he's awesome? Is he awesome? Very good? Seems fit. Tomorrow night, We've got Let's freaking school movie series. Go buy your tickets ninety seven when the Free dot Com like, uh like k Islands. Yeah, I'm the Draft House. I think I'm gonna go. We're gonna watch I am going going tomorrow. I got a few tickets left, so go get those ninety seven one the free dot com. I think the whole back is sold, but the front is still available, so get in there, man.

Hold on. I was figuring like today and tomorrow will be the last you know, uh huh, because like if it's ten days ago, you're like, don't want to go to a movie in ten days? Like who knows that kind of thing. Movies are to be determined, you know your attendance within about seventy two hours. I wouldn't count on the walk up strategy to to help you. I think this will sell out before it gets to showtime. Yeah, don't you hope. So we just need to pack this thing.

Man, Come on, and if you wear dolphins gear free drink, you can't get a free drink from the Dallas Observer radio personality of the Year. All right, dude, let's insane. Let's say six twenty we we pause that for the day, gravestone, we're the the Dass Observer radio personality of the year bought me a drink at Ace Fincher, a pet detective.

They made great friend for me, not for the drink resistient. All right, if I croak in the next couple of weeks, you can put that on my grave stone twenty twenty three, just in case as a joke. But fine, yeah, fine, six twenty I'll stop until seven thirty when we take a look at some of the other Dallas Observer Awards of the years.

See you know who you're you're company with? Yeah, you know, I need to figure my contemporaries out the other, the other best to the best, like Sir Roy and Michael Parsons one and the second two lions among men. Right, Okay, I'm gonna be quick about this. I took a quick trip, and I'll tell you sometimes it's beating when people talk about when they go on vacation. Sometimes it's highly interesting. I which one will this be? Decide? And I didn't hear Mike's when Christina and Mike went

to Italy a couple of years ago. I loved talking about that with Christina because I found out a lot about Italy. I didn't know my trips, not with the most unique place because I think you've been, you've put both of you guys have been there. Green Bay. I went to Green Bay. Me and my family go to Green Bay once probably I would say every three years if we're on average, sometimes every other year, and we go to the Packer game. We get a house on the street right by Lamba

Fields. Our quick trip. It's great. How many we got in the Turner clan. So it's my mom and my dad and my brother and then Roxy, my girlfriend goes, and then my brother. Usually his wife goes, but she stayed home with his three daughters this time because he's got a bunch of kids. I got a whole mess of kids and they're all young, you know. So uh. And then our family friends Oscar and Sandra went for the first time. So we had a good group of seven,

which hard to find tickets for seven. House rental walking distance, house rental right across the street. Like you know, when anytime there's a game and the Packers on National TV. You'll see it this Thursday night on the Amazon and it's got the Brett Farr and Aaron Rodgers and Bart Star you know, a little basically props in the backyard. So is it like an airbnb situation?

Okay, So these people who live there, they go and they just they rent out their house for those home game weekends and they make their nuts. I wonder they might just go to the quality end down the street, because it's usually you know, it's a short rental. And I was thinking about that too. Green Bay's not the town to go spend a weekend is the perfect town for the show up, spend a day Saturday, watch the

game, and go home. You know, it's just because there's not a lot to do there outside of the things that are to do, which are great. There's a one side of the stadium is new. We got a brewery. They got this badass hotel with the Sweet Sweet Bar, so cool called the Cooler Lodge, which I I think is the Toilet Company, but also has Saints as well Saints as well, so bat we should say bathrooms.

And they kind of called that area Titletown. On the other side of the stadium is your old crappy bars that have been there forever and that's right, yes, and they're packed and they're packed in the walk between the two is great. Yeah, and that's where kind of I think the main parking lot is. That is the one that I saw. But to what you like, they're named after old packers too, like players. You know, they have their bars. What they've got a Mike McCarthy road. Okay,

yeah, they have home grin way. I know. Yeah, it sounds like you're almost describing like Wrigleyville for those of you that have been to Chicago. But nothing else to do in the city other than in that little fays that too. Well, yeah, Lombardi Avenue, Tony Kendo Run, Who's yeah, I don't know. Was your Airbnb on Shamura Circle? No it was not. I don't think they alluded on the street. They had to

take a straight away. I did see Frank Winn teens only on top right, Nichke Field is right here, don Hudson Center, All right, anyway, go ahead. Oh that's you know, and that's the vibe is all that and all these people care about the packers right, drinking, eating and packers. Okay, so we flew up. So usually you fly to Chicago and then you get a rental car and you make the drive two and a half hours, three hours. We said, let's do it a little different

this time. So we're not driving because it's get a little bit of a beating. Let's just fly in Chicago and then quickly fly into green Bay straight in it on a tiny plane. Way better for than getting the rental car and driving. And then you're like, well, I guess we could stop in Milwaukee at the bar or whatever about that flight to you flight into green Bay from Chicago, fire up and down right, it was so easy and

easy to get on and off. I mean it's just there's no one on the plane, so get their Saturday and it's on, you know, like quickly. Like I had a whole list, like we're run the store, get a couple of things the house, you know, a bottle of water, gets beers, all the stuff you need for the house. Did you okay, let me hit her up real quick? You pose or you sent a picture, posted a picture. I don't remember, but it was you and maybe your brother playing football in a yard. Was that the house you

were staying at. Yeah, okay, that the view is. I mean you're like right across the parking lot from Yeah, that's Stramman. It's you're adible. You're on it like it's incredible. And yeah that was Sunday morning, and we got atoms like screw it. Let's I mean, it's a noon game. I like when there's a night game because you have a old day to get warmed up. It's a noon game. So the lots open

at eight. People start coming in to the tailgate lake area. You meet your neighbors, okay too in this airbnb situation, right, your neighbors and the backyard next to you. Actually took their nerve football from him. They were a bunch of guys. There were Saints fans and they were from all spread out in the southeast. One guys from Tennessee, one guy's no Alabama,

and guess from Louisiana. They're all brother in laws. Man, the youngest guy in that group had the walk of shame at about six thirty am both mornings. In fact, boys, Sunday morning, no, no, Monday morning, Yesterday morning, so we meet. My brother would try to go. Since that my mom would go. We try to go for a walk around the stadium every morning because it feels great. It's fifty seven degrees. So he had the walk of shame. He was kicking out the remnants

of bean snappers. Every morning. My brother got up early for a walk and he goes, I saw the guy and so he saw him get up from in between two dumpsters and walk back to their being me. But both days the dude took the In fact, his buddies, Mikey, his buddies were making fun of him on Sunday because we talked to them on Sunday and they were like, oh, yeah, he had a rough night so I don't know what happened, but it was pretty impressive. You know. The

game's nuts. Okay, it's seventeen to nothing, and I now realize why there's so many stadium fights. There was a guy walking up these stairs and he nearly he nearly killed someone because he's walking up these stairs. And then he fell back and then he caught himself, but he can't function. Okay, well he falls down the stairs, but somehow it's caught by a guy. Okay, a bigger guy kind of catches him. Hey man, you're right, you know, and the guys can barely walk, you know,

people are so drunk. There a zombie. This guy helps him up the stairs. You can sit. The security guards kind of paying attention. Now the guys sits down right behind me, and I'm like, Jesus, this guy's gonna throw up on me. Now. He ends up moving further down, which is not where his seat was. But seventeen nothing, no offense. This sucks. And then all of a sudden, okay, people want to talk a analytics. People go, Momentum in sports is not a real

thing. It's not a real thing, dude, so real. It all turned so quickly and they get it was seventeen to three. And then when you went down for a score and on loved one teams this you're down by

fourteen and you score touchdown and then you go for two. Oh, they went for two, and they got it in the seventeen eleven and then you gotta stop and they Derek Carr got hurt and James's in the game and they get the ball back and then we go down and score and it was like this sole, sleepy game, and then the fourth quarter it all happened and

we won eighteen to seventeen. I'm sorry out there, I'm a Packers fan, but so after the second touchdown, though, there's a lot going on agreement, they don't have a lot of like they're all young, right, done have a lot of veterans or anything. The Romeo Dubbs catches a touchdown pass to tie the game at seventeen, and they're all doing hearts that they love Jordan love and it's wild because he did nothing for three quarters. But they all, dude, he's it's actually it's gonna work. It's gonna work.

Look at him. He's kind of good. He's so happy, he's kind of good. He was great in that fourth quarter. Oh my god, he loves too, but they don't have dude. I was telling my dad was like, dude, now he's like these wood receivers were even good in college, like not even without Watson. They're a little fan they are so thin. But it was like just so thrilling. And then oh, I forgot to tell you about the Collective Soul concert, the time we got

time next, No, the most important things. It's not important. It's I don't know, I don't know why. It's just so funny. He went to a collective soul. I mean, it was just happening, right. STP came on, Yeah, featuring the guy who's not in there any work because he died. Yeah, Scott is deceased. It was a lot

of rear rear bird. Dear bear, dear bear. I was thinking of you the whole game, watching it, and they were just getting shut out and smoked and then miss field goal last second, and I was happy for you. It was a turtle kt in the background, and I kept looking up the scoreboard across the way, going, holy crap, the Dolphins put up fifty six seventy. What hell's happened? Because that's while two, when it's eight other games going on, you're like, what has happened my fantasy

getting trashed? Seventies seventies so stupid? What more on that? At eight o'clock? I want to hear what the vibe of the city after an early game victory is like, maybe later, yes, maybe later quickly mass exodus to the crappy bars and then total s show to the point that you get in a bad mood and so many people yeah, because they don't. They stay down, they and then they gotta go to work on Monday and they stay out. But I'm glad to be back, all right? Coming up

next, there was a dead body founded a local golf course. The details are interesting. Next, nice everyone freaking

Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android