The Opener: October 17, 2023 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: October 17, 2023

Oct 17, 202326 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Tuesday October 17th, 2023, featuring some Rangers and Cowboys talk, plus a discussion of the commercial that contnues to blow our minds

Transcript

Good morning, Holy testicle Tuesday. We're gonna have a Ranger and Cowboy and laughter party today with you here on the Free I'm Kevin Turner, Danny Bayless, Mike s Roy, It's JJ Jackson back there. She'll be taking your calls two and four eight one seven seven eight seven one nine seven one, checking out your text all morning long. Get hot and stuff on your mind, let it fly, see what happens. Never know, have a lot of fun with you. Rangers win two and oh, Cowboys win four and

two, the news wins and other stuff. Be a hell of a day. We'll check out our three predictions each because we've got a gd savant on our team here. It's like taking on Jordan every single time every day. And the three scorching hot predictions from the Ghost Pepper Pavilion. One of us converted again. The rest of us are just grasping for just a half point.

Yeah, it's getting pretty ra gosh damndiculous. I'll admit I watched most of that game, like looking in the background at the fans, like the blurry fans trying to see or people on the sideline just looking for someone to be puking, because I had someone will barf on camera, and I'm like, look, the odds are it's going to be someone way in the background that they don't like highlight. I never saw it. The odds that any of the predictions come true in a season are really low. And you were

trying to go two for three. You always want more, Champions always want more. I was looking for you, guys. Kevin was close to one yesterday. M hmm, I'll get to Jumie Johnson. Huh. I was close to one two, which I'll show you in the audio portion of Dingo's morning news. But I made one one fatal error. You'll see, critical mistake, critical mistake. Yes, I got our picks with Glenn's updated standings.

I will say before you get to that, that was about as insane of a wild ass ding Dong football game as I've seen in a long time, from the amount of penalties, to the wacky plays, to some of the play calling, to some of the execution. If you if you were you heard about this game called the NFL football at the highest professional level, and you that would be the worst game, Like if you had an uncle from from England. That's just a big soccer fan. I've heard about this

American football. I want to go check out a game and you you turn that on or go to that game and try to explain it to him. He would walk away as the most puzzled human being on the planet. It was really stupid. My god, these You're on two teams who are known for being pretty dumb in the way they do things, really for the last decade plus. But I knew that we had a bad referee crew for whatever

reason. I followed a couple accounts that show you who the refs are each week, so I knew that land Clark his name is land land Clark, and I don't think it's short for landing land Clark is Their crew is the fifth most or a top five flag throwing penalty crew out there. So I immediately was kind of like, damn it, because you know, Monday night, let's try to get to bed. This morning show folk could nice, could use a good brisk game. What a mail in for a name for

a baby? Dad just looked down at the ground, Say what you see, Dad? It is lamb to Clark. Yeah, and boy, he was on TV more than anyone. He challenged Derek Jeter for most minutes on TV yesterday, almost missed a full quarter because I was zupprudering the Derek Jeter Wagoneer commercial. It had to be done again. Boy, we'll get obsessed with a damn commercial. Well, while we were taking pictures of each other of it to each other, hidden treasures that we discovered. Fine, because

when they let's just do it, we're not gonna do it later. When they first cut to what's his wife's name, Hannah? Okay, So when they show him he can't get on his why are we doing this? That's fine, I'm okay with it all right. And he's in this private hangar drive up yet there's still some sort of a PA announcement that all planes have been grounded, and it's just him and the pilot standing there. He's that weird only passenger, single passenger with his one bag, incredibly inefficient. Is

that his car? By the way, what the vehicle that's let's start there, okay, the Wagoneer. Does he roll up in the wagon ear to the airplane hangar? Yes? Okay, So is it a rental? Right? If it's his car, does he just keep it in this particular city that's not his home. And if not, how is he going to get his car home? It's very confusing who the car belongs to? Right, You're under the impression that it's his. He looks very comfortable in the car.

I assume that's his car. But yes, what is the plan to just leave it at the hangar if he does get on his personal one person flight? And it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that Derek Jeter is wealthy enough that you know he lives in Florida. Let's say, and he the car is in New York and it's just you know, he leaves it there garage and they have it cleaned and ready for you. That's probably fairly standard. But where do you think he was coming from? And where do you think

the destination was? Where's home? For? It was Suwhere in Florida? Right? Yes? I mean he crosses a bridge. I looked at the skyline. I couldn't really tell. We're talking Mia. I don't think it was Miami Tampa, but it was Florida. As in my head he was the former part owner the Miami Marlins. But in my head he still lives in New York. Some movie's driving from Florida all the way up to New York. No, no, no, because he was on his way home

and he crossed the beautiful bridge and there's water everywhere. It was definitely a Florida residence. But he's a drivel all night, I know, which brings me to my biggest issue. So he's in the hangar. It's dumping rain. All planes are grounded. No sorry, even yours, mister Jeter. Sorry. CAP two captains on this flay and he cuts out right. He starts driving, drives all dumping rain at the beginning, and then he goes to the floor forest and it starts raining. Then he gets to Florida and

it's sunny and beautiful. But right when he's leaving, they cut the Hannah and she's with her concerned children that Dady's not going to be home for a few hours or forty hours, I don't know how long this journey took, and she on her TV has a huge weather alert. Weather alert, so the storm is large enough to impact both the departure city and the arrival city. Correct, but the arrival city is absolutely gorgeous by the time he actually

gets there. So realistically, he might be leaving from Tampa to drive to Miami, which is about a four four and a half hour drive. But it's daylight to daylight though, Like he arrives at the airplane hangar and it's daylight outside. No, I think, so, no, it's nighttime. Okay, well, let's say it's eight o'clock. It's still They're implying that this is a good eight to twelve hour drive, right, But it has to be two cities both impacted by the same weather. Cell. I know.

That was so confusing to me when you sent me that screenshot of Hannah with her tiny kitchen TV and it just said weather alert. The reason I took the picture first because the font came in there slowly, and at first it was just a red screen that said weather, So that the first picture I took it, Oh my god. And then it's alert came in under it. But assuming he hands up in Miami, I mean Atlanta to Miami. Maybe yeah, and we're to something about the entire Eastern Seaboard being blasted

with something. Oh, I have context, clue, J listen to this. This this could be the I guess, this could just be the direction of the storm rather than the geographic location. But maybe this helps us all flights have been ground rolling in for the northwest. Okay, so it can't be. He can't destiny. You can't be Miami because if it is raining in Miami when Hannah gets that news, he drives all night and then move. The storms are coming in from the northwest. That means they're moving towards

the southeast. The weather would not be clear in his destination if he only drove over one night. Is he driving from San Francisco to l A? Is it possible? You know it? It could be. You have the whole commercial there where watch the look of the bridge. Here we go. Good, keep me crancked up. It's good to hear it that I had to escape the city. City was sticky and cruel, sticky. Any context clues? Maybe I shore called foods. Okay, we'll get there. Okay,

he's in a forest. Now. Is there a forest in Florida? Yeah, there's some, but I don't know that looks like that, and I don't know the native animals to Florida. That's clearly a timberwolf. No, it seals northwest, that feels but then, oh, big city, big city, skyline over the bridge. Yes, it's probably nondescript. You know, are they really gonna cg a fake city behind this? Yeah, boy does. When he gets out of the car, it does look like

he's getting back to Florida. I'm seeing this guy has absolutely no connection to the Northwest as far as having a home, you know, seeing as forest, I'm seeing Miami. He's got an apartment in Miami, he's got a house in Tampa. He has a house in Greenwood Lake, which is New

York. And then I'm seeing one in New Jersey. So look, we realize that's that's not his house that he's actually literally driving to, but that's that's probably Tampa what they're representing there, because that bridge could look like it and yeah, that it looks like, well, that's just bad continuity on the part of the people that put this commercial together to have that news reporter weather reporters sighting that region from the north they demolished his Manchester said Northwest?

Didn't they the Northwest coming in? And I mean, I guess we can't assume that he's leaving late night after a late baseball game. I mean, I guess I kind of assume that and what region it would only be Atlanta? Then he just started doing that post game thing for the playoffs. He had been doing that all year. And what region is going to have most likely have either a coyote or a wolf or what did I say, a ding a dingo? Yeah, it could be a dingo hardware, or a

jackal or a wolverine. And he's on the tiniest back road when he's in that forest. Yeah, well he's not on a highway or anything. What diversion are you taking. Derek either stopped and got gas and or snacks to remove his blazer because when he starts the journey, he's wearing in his sport coat and then later in the journey it shows him just in his business shirt. Yeah, he had a little jacket off time. He did have some

jacket off time. So I don't know if he stopped or if he was able to wriggle out of it through the driving while he was driving just to save time to get home. Too risky move when you put on or take off a layer while driving and you have to get the confidence and do the head move, you know, like when you get it all up to your neck, bunch up around your neck and then you're like I'm good rip it

over your head. Yeah. I love that you're concerned about the point five seconds it takes to get a hoodie over your head, when meanwhile you're spending half the time on your trip looking at your phone. Right, I have a what's Buttify playlist I want to look at, and I have a one button wet bar that comes up in my console. Hey, but it's dangerous. Pull that sweater off. We're gonna stay on this all morning. Don't

worry, fans, we'll get it. The collar. He just thinks he can help weigh in, No way, Come on, let's just give it a car. The three smartest dudes in the world. How could someone else possibly help us. It's probably not great to stay on this thing for ten minutes, so let's be quick. Collar. Okay, I think I can actually solve your wolf. Okay, honest might know. Oh yes I can.

So. In that little town called Chipley, Florida, there is a wolf preserve and during Michael, a lot of their fences were knocked down and a couple of the wolves escaped. One was later found dead on the road. So that son of a bitch, Dereck Carter, Derek Jeter, whatever his name is, killed the wolf. What what's the name of the town, maybe Chipley, Florida, Chipley, Chipley. Yeah, it's in the

Panhandle, just north of one of the coastal whatever. Yeah, but look then the commercial clearly shows that the advanced emergency Wolf Alert system, you know, let Derek Jeter know that there was this animal in front of him, so he It shows him opping to avoid the wolf. Yeah. So I don't think you can lay this at his feet. But maybe he had a different wolf. Yes I can, Okay, yes I can. It. Don't argue with me. Yes, I can't see honest, Mike, he honest, Mike, stop lying. Will No, I won't do it.

I'm not lying. Chipley, Florida, see crest will preserve one of the wolves died in car wreck and blame it all on Derek Jeters spread the word. Oh there, Oh okay, that's what the others were doing when they found out. Okay, all right, thanks, honest, there you go, Okay, Bye. What about Houston? What if he was leaving? What if that you started in Houston? So we're just whitewashing the weather report.

Yeah, well it could be a different No, it could be a different weather So, yeah, it could be because Houston to Tampa's a fourteen hour drive. There's a lot of different there's some backroads to back roads from Forest and it goes straight through Chipley, Florida. I'm just tired of all these fancy companies making commercials that aren't realistic. Do we not have any type of mind towards continuity anymore in this world? Not anymore? Kevo. That's

one thing Macarthy said about the offense too. He keeps saying continuity is gonna be. It's always at the forefront. I'm like continuity. That football game was the opposite of continuity, a game so weird. I know it would be weird because Cow was in Chargers and Chargers that play every one of their games is weird. But I don't know why it had to take four hours to get through all of that. I mean, let's sit there going cold, the ref put a flag in his pocket and just let these things happen.

I know some things are obvious, you gotta throw it. I think the dude just wanted to look at himself. I think he wanted to be on TV, and I think today he's spending his time watching how jacked he is. They do was ripped. I'm talking about Land Clark. I think he's enemy number one to day after a Cowboys win. I think I asked you guys this a couple weeks ago. But if they like the hiring practices of head referees in the NFL, like the proportion of them that are jacked

is way out of control. It's the hockey lay effect, right, Yes, it is the hockey effect. But I mean, as why now? And then I got to thinking, what are the Like is there a combine of any kind or like a minimal fitness requirement that is written down somewhere to be an NFL referee? I mean, you have to be able to run with the plate. You don't see any of them umpire sized dudes or big

boys like I imagine written somewhere. Is there a physical test where you have to run a forty in under six seconds or five and a half seconds? Er must be there, absolutely must be, because you've got to keep up, because it can't just be coincidental that they're all lean and ripped kind of. I mean one umpire on the crew was trying to hang out next to the quarterback. Yeah, in the middle of the play. He wanted in on the act is happening. There's some he lined up over the garden.

Yeah, a questionable plays. How many bad throws all for a reason, A lot of bad throats, a lot of misses. We'll get to some of this later. I guess, uh, six potty, you will actually dive in Cowboys Chargers, seven o'clock, will do Rangers. We're gonna shift him. Yesterday we did Rangers at six thirty. We'll do Rangers at seven today. Give them the full sports at seven. Attention. Dingo's Morning News has lots of audio. I have our picks with Glenn's updated standings at the

open. The only person, No, we don't know any need to hear that. No one wants to hear that. Uh. Our celebrity guests are running away with it. Guys nine and three after a two and a week from this week's celebrity guest, Christina Ray and cracking the Cowboys minus two and a half. Cowboys got that barely and then Miami last thirteen and a half.

Of course, that's her handicapping with her newspaper out Celebrities first place circle of course, second place a four way tie for second place between me Danny the Glenn's and Danny's two and a half year old son, Malcolm m h. We all at five and we all the game. We all lost. Uh, well me, Danny and the Glenn's lost the Charger. We had Chargers plus two and a half. Uh the Glenn's had the Lions, Danny had Giants plus fourteen as that game was fourteen to nine. So you won

that game. At the opening kickoff, you at least got a push, and then uh, I had Jacksonville and then five and seven No, no, no in next place at five six no, five six and one, yes, because he got a damn push which I was trying to avoid pushes the whole time. I was too I'm sorry, but he didn't know. You didn't do even wrong, I know. With It's just it's so dumb as it was at the score of that game was eighteen to nine, so five six and one Mike Siroy and then last place is JJ five and seven.

It's kind of tight. We're all just kind of sucking to the celebrities. Two nine and three, they're nine and three. Damn, Well, we'll catch up. Maybe it's hard to pick games now. You didn't know what the Cowboys are gonna do anymore. We thought we knew the Cowboys were going to be as good as the forty nine Ers and Eagles, all right, and we don't know anything. It's a good week for the Cowboys too, Eagles, forty nine Ers lose. You got a game, great and

it doesn't You don't feel any better about the team. I don't know. I don't feel any better about anything. Don't you feel like they're just maybe a little bit better than the Chargers after last night? The Chargers are that good? Yeah, I think they're about the same. Yeah, I mean in a lot of ways. Boy, that's just not going to ever be good enough. You're the same as the Chargers. Now another Cowboy news before we talk game stuff. The news yesterday after the show, your Thanksgiving game

halftime show. Oh yeah, how did we miss that yesterday? Because it kind of came down like towards the end of our show and we're very focused Dolly Parton. Okay, didn't Kevin make us pick this? Do you remember that? I think we did do these pics at the beginning of the year. So I took Laney Wilson. You did take Laney Wilson. You know, Die write these down. See here, do you look up pictures of her? Danny? I did? And she got big booty? Does she? Yeah, let's go take a look for real. Let's go take a

look. Lanny Wilson is a country girl. Yeah, she's she's trying to put out she's why is she? Why do you have to say something negative? She was a cast member of that seventy show. With what she's wearing all the time. Yeah, okay, I mean she's peacocky. Oh I'm seeing her. Yeah, you see the butt, she's showing the butt. Yeah, okay, nice, Okay, are you enjoying it? She was voted what are you feeling right now? Musician most likely to wear bell bottoms.

Okay, she's got a look. She's got a look. It's her thing. She wears the hat, she's got the look. Anyway, that's my pick, not her. They went a little bigger with the old Dolly Who's got an album coming out? Dolly Parton, She's gonna be on stage at halftime the damn Cowboy Game. Yep, at the age of what eighty? Yeah, she's not that old. I don't think she's eighty. Come on, she was really young when she got another game. She's probably you

really think she really is. She's eighty seventy seven, Okay, okay, yeah, she was like fifteen or something like that when she broke in, when all those other stories huh, oh my god, god Worth dude. Yeah, she did not care about showing the boobs off for like, for comedy when she hosted Saturday Night Live, It's amazing, and the monologue, the big punchline joke is that the camera guy gets distracted and zooms in on

her cleavage. That's like the early nineties. That's funny. Yeah. She's got an album coming out on November seventeenth called rock Star, and she has about thirty songs on this record. That's not enough, including free Bird. She has a cover of free Bird. She's gonna do free Bird. Uh, she's gonna do Let it Be featuring Paul and Ringo. Oh oh she does. I think she's a led Zeppelin song too. She's gonna wear the champions Stairway to Heaven featuring Lizzo. That's so bizarre, it's sounds like a

nightmare. Yeah, Heart of Glass with Debbie Harry. I can't get no satisfaction. This is just covers featuring Pink and Brandy Carlisle. She's doing Wrecking Ball with Miley Cyrus. She's doing rock record. Remember she made the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and she was like, I don't want to be in it. I don't know the roll her. So she's gonna sing those covers at halftime. She should. I bet she does originals. She's gonna be up there, seventy seven doing the step dance thing. She better do

nine to five? She does, she will, She's gotta do Joeyne in nine to five. And I know that these artists always lip sync and she will be no exception because I have seen her live. Yeah, and she lip syncs pretty much the entire show. Well, yes, she's seventy seven. I'm not faulting her, no, no yet. It was still a great show. She's fantastic lives. Yeah, what she do does she just

kind of walk around? Does she prants? I bet she does this step dance and just yeah, she does kind of lifts her feet up and puts them back down. A lot of outfit changes, yeah, and does anything sparkle that she wears? Yeah, Oh my god. And the lgbt Q plus crowd will be was highly represented at the show. The lgbt qg beat A Cowboys games will be YEA fired up through the roof. How many LGBTQ people go to Cowboy games? What percentage? I know it's a lot.

What percentage of them or what percentage of the crowd that's there. The crowd that's there, well, probably mirrors the percentage of society. That's just some of the things that we talk about on my podcast Behind the Gay Wall. It's free. I can't wait to hear excerpts from that one and we go into different time. We have guests on talk about their experience because it's a

world that us basic straight folk don't know enough about. And that's why I wanted to really wanted to dive into that catch that on the iHeart app whenever it happens, never sounded so good. I can't wait for the phone call to be the voice of his guest Lance. I've got the Scrap Sailor coming on episode two, pretty good one. What about the time out out there

on the dock, It's good. It's like I'm not talk about the you know what we're doing now to go download it, but you know it's I feel like I'm making a contribution to society and society I admire you for that. Listening behind the gay wall. Yeah, it's kind of a gay golden girl. It is kind of a giggle when you think about it, It kind of is. You know, we're all just friends hanging around a card

table. That's enough. Let's talk Cowboys and Chargers. We're gonna make that the most important thing in the world, even though I think we all would probably vote that the Rangers playoffs is more important. But yesterday we did that at six thirty. So let's get it right. Everyone lock in because it's gonna be a big show. We're gonna be serious from here on out. Cowboys, Chargers, What in the world happened last night? Next On ninety seven won the Freak

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