The Opener: November 21, 2023 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: November 21, 2023

Nov 21, 202328 min
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Episode description

Last day without KT so we bring in Stripmall Steve to join us today.

Transcript

The morning round when you need he's a disappearing sales guys. You're all alone out a cell phone store. Where is everybody? That's the disappearing sales guy. Hey, sorry, I was promised economic impact. You're just standing in the corner on your phone. He's speeding off in his brand new Mazda Miata top down, went through his advanced hair tradition. We were stored. He got for free a tribute to the disappearing salesman this morning, for four hours,

the way it should be. This is the downbeat on ninety seven won the freak. Look at us, watch us shine. His name is Danny Baylis, My name is Michelle Sidawa. Her name is J. J. Jackson. What else do you possibly need? Maybe little KT in your life. It's not necessarily what you need, it's what you want. Can't help you if it's kt you wanted. Sometimes you get what you want you didn't realize that you actually wanted it. Dude, write a song. I just

I just did disappearing. You should see how literally did disappearing sales guy want more? He should do a song about that. Spend the whole weekend and he's like, Okay, I'll dude, it'll be really funny. Yeah yeah, okay, all right, I'll try and then I call you Sunday like we should just scrap that after I've got like eight hours in the studio. That was a stupid idea. He's got the Taco tacos song. That's dumb idea, really no content. Just write something about tacos. It will be

great. I was misguided when I suggested that song. That was foolish. Ok t don't want you. He'll be back manyana as I think today he ventures back from New Yawk. All right, is that divius bastard makes his way back? You really are the most devious Boston in Neil yaw sits here? What is that from? Uh Vampires? Oh? That's a Laslow who is really legit funny and I don't even watch the show anymore. It's one of those that hit hard, hit beautifully, and then I couldn't get enough

for a season. And then I'm like, ah, probably good here and maybe it's still excellent. I don't know what's it called what we Do in the Shadows? Yeah, what we do in the Shadows. It's funny, But lad that dude is funny, man. I hadn't interviewed him, not me personally, but no, you guys did a couple of times. You

guys did the other guy, the main guy. As we search for answers and we have someone probably right across from us that has all these these answers, we may as well introduce them real Quick's right there, you were figured at eight thirty nine ish instead of six oh four. Yeah, just come up here and sit for two hours, dude, okay, not a bad bit. Hey, come up and help us out and then never introduce it. Why hear I make thanks to sitting there. Steve, Steve Shackle for

ladies and gentlemen. Yes see, we got is wandered in about twenty minutes ago early today. If I don't talk, you can't prove that I'm actually here. I like, just sitting here for four hours. We got Steve normally heard on the Bed and Skin show featuring the always lovely Christina Ray, and we kind of just hijacked him. There may maybe be tension, so we don't really ask. It was like an Air Force one scenario. You guys came up through the bottom of the plane. So I appreciate it.

Off, get off of my show. There's a lot of that did detect a little bit of passive aggressiveness yesterday. Yeah, I know, Ben hit you with it. He was doing it loud, so where I heard it? Yeah, because Ben, I don't know if you were in here. But Ben asked me if I would leave the Downbeat today to join their show because Steve was going to be missing it works best for all of our child care. And I didn't. I didn't really get what he was doing until it was almost over. It was like, oh, oh, oh,

okay, so really nobody nobody got clearance on this move. No ohs were not adhered to. Just like Air Force one. We just assumed clearance was kind of understood. Yes, the rest of the flight patterns can be diverted where we're going. One of the very first films in the filmography of Sroy Pictures was Air Force two. Oh please write it. We didn't get too far in the plot. We just thought it'd be hilarious to name a film air Force two, and somehow convinces Harrison Ford to be on board again.

He gets a call from his agent, what yeah, two. We were struggling that air Force one two, which is an equally moronic name would you go with to t o O. It's not a Leslie Nielsen picture, which is air Force one two. Sounds like a moronic thing to just be pushing around Christmas time. Get off my plane again, I would go see it. That's Force one to. Basically all my pictures have it to it. I'm like Earth two. Mm hmmm, mister president, there's a problem in

the cockpit. The cockpit? What is it? Well, it's the room in the front of the plane where the pilots hit. But that's not important right now. Wait, well I saw that line an airplane again, step on board for danger, Get off my plane. And that's not the halle Berry movie, is it? No, that's the Monster's ball. The Monster's ball. Okay, well there's one airplane with sling blade. Yeah. I actually I have never seen Monsters Ball. Was it hot? It's sad?

It's so sad? Was it hot and sad? Because that's my favorite combo. You would love her beauties? You would love it then if you like a little tears with your sex. Yeah, and this movie's right up your ally. I need uh leaving Las Vegas? Is that Elizabeth Shoe or is it? I believe that's correct. I can't believe she won an Oscar for that for what leaving Las Vegas. Yeah, it wasn't good or I mean, it's just well, we tend to lift up black women, I shut

up, not tear them down. Had I just said shut up, no, shut up. No, I'm happy. I'm happy for her. But it was I don't know, you didn't think her performance was rate and that great? I mean, what was better that year? That's what I'm saying. I'm not too sure on that particular. Yeah, to stack it up

against the competition, you know what thin ice? I would have been ice skating out on if I launched off with boy halle Berry should not have won an Oscar for Monsters ball, don't with JJ, the white bald man on this, I wouldn't have argued, I'm saying that was the thin ice. I wouldn't know. Oh no, I mean because you haven't seen it though, right, No, I've not seen I mean she was, I mean, she was good in it. I don't I just don't know what was

what was out that year? Honestly, two thousand and two. Yeah, let's see, because she was the first, you know, African American to win. I got you got two thousand. I celebrate though, I do too, but it's just I don't know. I don't know. Well on that note, before these guys find it one of the worst ever? Was it Cooopa Gooding Junior for uh Jerry, which was a great movie and he was great in But wasn't that was that the the depths of Oscar so White?

Or was that was that before it? Rember? That's pretty much always been. Yeah. Yeah, there's really no pivot moment. There's always been that way. I just don't know that he was. It was an energy performance from Kouba that year, for sure. It was just so good that it needed to be awarded. Okay, so the two yeah, the one film year, yes, so it was Halle Berry nominated against Sissy Spasic for in the Bedroom. Don't recall that film, uh Judy dench in Iris,

don't recall that one particularly. And then Nicole Kidman from Mulin Rouge never saw it? Do you guess see it? I didn't ever sit down and watch it. Song and Dance, isn't that what? Yeah? I think I saw Chicago, which was around the same time, but I don't think I ever saw Mulan Rouge and then Renee Zelwigger was the last nominee for Bridget Jones's Diary. Oh yes, and I bet it wasn't for me myself and Irene in that year. She was so good, So maybe maybe how he was

deserving when you consider the competition. Competition, So she's yeah, although, I mean, dude, that's like two two of the three of those actresses are just freaking amazing. Judy Dance, Sissy's basic. I mean, Nicole Kidman's great. Who you cutting out there, guy? Renee Renee, I mean, she's fine. She was really good in Judy as Judy Garland. Oh really, yeah, yeah she was, Yeah, she was. We have we have met our quota for sad movies this week. Great movies,

but tear jerkers. Do you even know what Monsters Ball is about? Oh? No, you guess, Uh no, I have. Boy, that's a hard one, do you that one? You'll ever get it? A

couple of times? Yeah you won't. Yeah. It's about a woman whose son, her son dies, and it's the way she's and she's super poor, lives in a you know, small southern town, and it's about how she processes her grief and it kind of culminates in a sex scene with her and Billy Bob Thornton, where that's a choice that she's making in that moment and it and she's incredibly just grief stricken over the loss of her son and

she's just looking for some kind of connection. I thought that scene was, you know, everybody talked about how you know, just hot it was, but I was like, this is one of the saddest scenes I've ever seen. Yeah, it's really really heartbreaking. Did she do it? I mean, she had sex with Billy, but she made she felt so bad about her life at that moment that she said yes to sling Blade. Yeah to

Carl apparently was a racist too. Yeah, it was even crazier. Yeah, but I mean, Holly Band, you gotta it's a dark through these

things. It's a really dark film. But she did it because she liked him or just a slump bust or somehow super sad and you know, like he was he was from a racist kind of like his dad was like triple racist, so it was like that kind of you grow up in that environment and it kind of trickles down and filters down to you, and you know, he probably trying to process all of that, and I think he I think they liked each other and he tried to help him out a little bit.

But yeah, that was a That is funny, the racist guy being presented with the most beautiful woman who happens to be black. And then, well, you know, I love everyone, especially if they're sad. Anyone. Well, y'all, let's celebrate Holly Berry today. Do you like alle Berry? JJ? Yeah, I like. Do you think she's that good of an actress? I think she's okay, I think she's solid. Well

what else is she doan? Yeah? I think if you gave the quizzer who was the first African American female to win supporting actress Holly probably a lot of people wouldn't say Halle Berry, wouldn't think Halle Berry. Oh yeah, John Wick chapter three, who was in sword Fish, Yeah, not that much. Yeah, she's okay? Yeah x men. Well the movie Perfect Stranger, that's not even the good TV show Perfect Stranger, m h. Or the Dump Purple Song with balkyboard Tacamas that's him America or Burst cousin Laddy,

Ah, I miss it. So we got Steve here chilling with us. That's nice, right, I love it. Thanks for coming in, dude. We get to know Steve at six thirty. I think there's a lot I don't know. I don't know about you. Should we have a lot to learn about Steve. I have questions. And then it's sort of getaway day from me. I am gone tomorrow, and then the Thanksgiving week Katie is back Manyana Dingy was here tomorrow, and then audio smofo. Then

it's time for Italian Thanksgiving. Not to be confused with Italian Spider Man, totally different things, Steve. Are you familiar with the fine work of Italian Spider Man. I think I was not until you did a segment on it, maybe six to eight months ago. And I don't think I've gone and watched any of it, but I definitely did look it up that day and

was perplexed by the phenomenon of Italian Spider Man. Yeah, Italian Spider Man has you know, on the surface, he doesn't look like your prototypical superhero. He's quite out of shape. He chain smokes big cigarettes. He has a red, long sleeved shirt with magic marker from an outline of a spider on the front. It was a mustache, long brown hair, but he is really good at romancing the ladies with his flamenco style guitar. That's pretty much about it. And you can fight pretty good. What year is it?

I mean, is this actually old or is this a few years old trying to look like? No, this is old. This is like fifteen sixteen years ago. Okay, I didn't know until right now. That's where this gift comes from. We all know, no clue. Yeah, and I like that gift. Yep, I didn't know that was that yeah, two thousand and seven. Oh okay, so it is sort of Nacho Leebre esque, made to look older than it is. Uh, well, Italian Cavio will be back Maniana, and uh you guys will be strong. And

then next week Danny's gone. Stay in town nothing, yeah, staying in town. Yeah. Yeah, you just had to burn the days. Man. If you don't, they burned themselves for you. You don't get them, you don't get to carry them over. No, we just didn't take any dang vacation this year. I know, like it all just piled up and I got caught up with a bunch in our pocket that we have to use. I think Mike Rider's gone until March because he had so much vacation

extra days of that deal. Did you see the email with his dates out? It's like four emails from Golden Mike Rider out this day, this day, this day. Right. Yeah, Yeah, he's gone a bunch. Well, it's all well deserved. Man. Everybody's been kind of head down, rocking pretty hard all year trying to get this bad boy up and flying. And look at us sore now it's not working. Just like flying, just like Air Force one in the clouds, that's us. We're like the

montage of like pre Right Brothers successful flight. We're that crappy plain ideas like the spiral is just my favorite. Really like that's us. Like an engineer had to draw up that plan and then it passed to you know, pass through development into manufacturing, and they're building this thing going I think this is gonna work, and it's just a damn umbrella just plunging up and down. I think if they had some slats that would open when it goes up and

then shut when it came down. In theory, no, I'm sorry, that mighty trying, but you know, open shut down the push just they're trying to invent flight Okay, are you really gonna tell me there's just a there's bad ideas, now throw them out. But yes, you're right passing mustard to get to the production phase. Yes, who seems to be Who was the guy with the middle school you know, understanding of physics to just stop in, step in and go you know what? That's not gonna work.

And we're talking about like the late eighteen hundreds here, early nineteen hundreds. Somebody should have said no. And there's like a spiral thing too, wasn't There's like a corkscrew they try to turn on real fast and that would get us up there. Yeah. One of them definitely had bike pedals. I remember that. That's an odd thing to Did the Right Brothers have bike pedals? I think like somebody had to use bike pedals to get off the ground at some point, But then once you're in the air, I'm like,

I don't know what the bike pedals are doing in the air. The prop, right, they had multiple of problems? Yeah, gotcha? Yeah? Was the Right Brothers a glider? Did they have a prop? No? It had it had props. I'm pretty sure they did. Yeah too, we should get one of them White brothers on okay and learn about this first in flight Carolina. Yep, Cowboys beat the Panthers just the other day. More than that at Sports at seven. Let's replace something real quick.

Is that cool? Yep? This is from yesterday. Found it fungy. Danny did all the work on this. If you missed it yesterday. This is audio that we found from the F one race in Las Vegas. Our very own DFW racer, Garland Richardson found himself surprisingly behind the wheel of an

F one car in the Las Vegas Grand Prix. Incredible. Yeah, drama in this clip is serious events that led to it, and then the gripping drama of a fifty one year old behind the wheel of a F one car for the first time in his life fifty one five ten two and eight pounds packed in their tight even comments on that he wants to get out. Huh, I think you have it, Danny. I'm ready to go JJ if you'll pop me up. Yeah, let's fight. Thanks Lab. Welcome,

Welcome, Welcome to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada. A race we've been waiting a long long time for and there's no way it disappoints. Hello everyone. Nigel Percy here live from the Vegas Strip for the inaugural Las Vegas Grand Prix, brought to you by the brand new brit Box Limited series Megan and Harry, a revolutionary romance. Shocking news from the park as an American driver will be on the grid as an emergency replacement. Daniel Ricardo has had to withdraw

due to what his team is claiming flew like symptoms. But we haven't on good authority from multiple so that Ricardo was seen in the wee hours of last night playing Mega Moolah and double fisting Irish car bombs at the Golden Nugget, so it's no wonder he's not feeling up to par today. His surprising last minute replacement will be a fifty one year old Texas rookie driver from the Dallas suburb of Grand Prairie one, Garland Richardson, widely known as DFW's Fastest Mind.

This is Goland's first ever F one race. Let's listen in now on the race radio communication with Garland and his Alpha Torre team. All right, boys, here we go, Sit back and watch DFW's fastest Man show you how it's done. Okay, holy shit, this thing is fast, too fast. Too fast? Holy Shitnesday, focus Garland. All right, fellas, there are about seventy five buttons on this steering wheel. They are all blinking, they are all flashing, and I don't have a damn clue what

any of them do a galling? You're going to nat a few touching? Are y'all seeing this sphere yet? I think is badass? What was that, Garland? What was that an aluminium kin? No, Sir, Jesus Christ fair Well, the love of God, eyes on the road, gardlet fair Caesar's Palace. That's a casino. Evil fucking canievl tozie magnet man. Boys, I am packed in here, tight, son of a bitch. It is tight. Pop this seatmelt off for a few laps. Please do

not touch your seatmelt Garlic you. I'm freaking out in here, damn it. I just got passed by the little Japanese boy Kamakazi. Move. My granddaddy would not be happy about this. Glan. You've slowed down a bit, is everything? All right? I dropped my goddamn lighter. All right, I'm trying to fish it out with my from under the brake pedal. Give me a goddamn minute. American Golin. Richardson continues to struggle. He's currently in lost place. All right, boys, what's bottom? I am

currently p twenty? How many cars are in this race? There are twenty? Bullshit? Watch your oil pressure fee Stop looking at the bloody sphere. All right, fellas, I'm coming in. How long do these pit stops usually take? I gotta pop out for a minute or two take a piss hit. Stops take about three seconds, Garland? Three seconds? Bullshit? Maintain focus? Damn it? What the hell was that, Golin? That was max for stopping lopping you again for slap eight. Fellas. You gotta

know there's a serious emergency in turn four. What is it? Garland? There's a blonde gal with the biggest pair of tas I've ever seen in my life. She's right on top of the overpass. Glin, please focus, all right, alright, I'm gonna slow down just a little bit and get a look at them goat bags, Golin. We keep it hearing what sounds like aluminium cans being opened? What is that? We got two words for you, pants blue Jesus Christ far oh Dear. Colin Richardson has seemed to

have lost control over his car. Launched over the embankment and into the lobby of Herr's Hotel and Casino. A ghastly event for Team Alfer Torri. The F one community is just gutted and the Las Vegas Grand Prix is in total shambles. Will take a brief pause in action as we get order restored. But first a message from our sponsor. Bachelor's Mushy Peas now a traditional taste of the North mushy peas from Bachelor's Creamy Smooth. There are ground change from

ordinary bene and kids love them. New mushy peas from Bachelor's Wow. Thank you Bachelor's for jump on. Thank you for reissuing one of your vintage spots for nineteen seventy seven Bachelo's. We're gonna have a mushy pee day here. Yeah, just eat up, just plastic spoons and little styrofoam bowls of mushy peas. Those Brits, the F One Brits that we've had on a couple of times, they swear by them. A couple of them defended them. One of them admitted they were trash, but oh yeah he did it.

One of them is yeah, I said they hated it, but two of them big fans of the mushy pea. It's just a pee that you smash right. Oh yes, I don't want peas ever, I stall maybe with some butter and salt. I bet they're they're pretty buttered up. Yeah, the mushy pee. I don't know. Mushy Pee Radio till ten o'clock today it is Danny Baillis and I Mike s Roy. We have Steve with us

for four hours. Thanks for hanging out with us this morning. If you want to win tickets to see the Dallas Mavericks play the Huge Rockets, that's a Tuesday, November twenty eighth game. I will direct you to the eight o'clock segment. We're playing a game that we haven't played a while, basically called Who's More Twitter Famous, where Danny has presented a bunch or will present a bunch of Twitter handles. We have to decide if they have more or

less followers than we do. I was in a close battle with Taco Bell Canada the last time we played this, and you could just use Taco Bell Canada again because I don't remember who had more. They might have grown segment. I've lowered my number is lowered significantly in the last year. What did

you do a bot cleanse? No, just the people of DFW, I think turning their back on me. Eight o'clock will play that game and we'll have two callers on the line, one of them going to war with Steve, one with myself, and the winner of that thing will win some tickets to MAVs and Rockets. You can get more info in your own tickets at MAVs dot com if you like. That'll be at eight o'clock. We got Dingo's Morning News at eight thirty. Nine o'clock is the return of the Mojo

Dojo, where ladies ask their questions and we answer. If you ever any questions that you really want to know, you can't ask a family member, can't ask your hubby because that would be weird. You can ask them anonymously by texting us at two on four or eight one seven seven eight seven one nine seven one. Your number is going to show up, but I assure you no one's gonna look up that number and associate it with you. You can ask some wild stuff, whatever's on your mind, whatever you always wanted

to ask. Three really cool dudes you have that why'd you make that face? Why do you make cringe faces? I saw a bug. What a great excuse for anything I thought I saw Right when I said cool, she went, she went cringe face. I saw something. I'm sorry, kind of this minor headshake, but luckily it was just a bug. Oh, you can text us any questions you got, anything you've been wondering. We'll tell you the truth. That'll be at the nine o'clock this morning. But

coming up next, we said, Steve is here. He's here to help us. It's the most important thing in the world, and for us, that's getting to know who is this Steve? What's next? On ninety seven won the Freak

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