The Opener: November 15, 2023 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: November 15, 2023

Nov 15, 202328 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Wednesday November 15th, 2023, featuring an odd off-road topic about the fastest and most venomous snakes

Transcript

There it is. I was excited. Oh really, no no, I just wanted to see outside the new car sub smoke and and very few cars. Good Wednesday morning world where the downbeat. We're here to stick it in. He's right, are to argue, Yeah, someone fight me on that. It's too early for fisticuffs, Kevin. So let's just all stick it in a Oh yeah, you're first. Okay, where am I sticking it? Wherever? Right there? Get to work right in the walking cooler.

It's a great place to smoke weed if you work at a restaurant by way because of the event. I totally agree. At Crystal Creek Sandwich Company and flag Staff, we had the pipe sitting right up to the left, up on the little ridge of the door for all, honey and all to use anytime they saw a fit. There's something real nice about being baked. Just making sandwiches all day. Oh my god. There's a lot to the tat like these we have these apps, like these games where you just kind of

play. You just do this shit with your hands thing thing, and it's clean, it's repetitive. There's a task it needs to be accomplished an x amount of time, and that's what it is to be a sandwich maker. The same for pizza. Yeah, exactly, it is the same for pizza, like work in the line and pizza or any food or I guess I

think that's a video game, a fascination with video games. I think I think it's a fascination with those videos of the I gotta see him on Facebook all the time and on YouTube too, where that it's just a common task like a guy mowing a yard, but the way they film it, it's just so soothing, just like like or lay yeah, pressure wash videos are the best, or laying concrete, yes, just that to finish. It's

a menial task. Man. We used to do that too at pizza and me and my roommate Scott, we would wake up it get to be there at nine, two hours to prep because we had a buffet that started at eleven. And you're talking about doing pre makes of popular pizzas. You know, it could be to do ten pepperonis, you know, five hamburger or whatever. Get them all stacked and ready to go. So when it was

five till eleven, you started running them through. So when those big crowds of construction workers rolled in, you had that buffet stocked, and we'd wake up at like eight eight fifteen and wake and bake and go to work and just pizza after pizza after pizza after pizza, making them and it was just so soothing. And it was back when weed made sense, where now it doesn't. Yeah, like you could smoke weed and still get things done.

I do this a lot. Now you can't. My favorite it's too crazy associated Onion article, But you were just said you had to have the pizza buffet ready by ten forty five whatever for all the other stoners to come in and eat it. Yeah. And another great Onion article, is everyone involved in pizza's preparation, delivery, purchase extremely high? I mean yeah, yeah. Is it like a college town? Yeah? Yeah, of course. Why is it about stoners and working at food places? Because of sort of

what I led with just there. I think it's relatives easy, it's repeatable, it's not complex. You don't need to Yeah, you're not going to run into you know, difficult to solve issues. The standard job and you and you have to do something because it's very well known it would be on you if something is not done or as a standard office job or a customer service sales job. You can kind of get away, kind of hiding around

or sneak in, sneak in to the back. You can kind of hide out and nothing's really accountable, Like you still have to be accountable for something. Yeah, in the food industry a little bit. Yeah, I think it's but the bar is so low for accountability and dependability in the food industry because it's not uncommon. You're running a restaurant. Oh, Jill didn't show up today, All right, call so and so to cover. It's kind of not a big deal if you screw up or need to take a week

off to go tour or something. That job just seems to always be there. It is just slide him in. Yeah. For the employee, Like if Jill is off, you call Big Frank. Big Frank's ready to pick up that shift. He wants the shift, sure, proll. The problem is Big Big Frank's gonna be baked as hell because he's off today. I mean, Jill's actually kind of reliable, you know when she's there, because she doesn't smoke, and you know, Jill smokes, yeah, but just

not at work. And Frank does. Yeah, Jill f f Big Frank did. Yeah. In the walking cooler. Maybe that's why Jill's off today because she had to go to the clinic. Big Frank's calling in right now. I just want to hear from Big Frank. Sure they're a big rank on no big friend. Hey, big Frank, Hey, what's up, Big Frank? What's going on? Man? Hey? My uh Mike. We met at Old seventy five. Man. I was and Danny and KT, but I didn't talk to KT. You know, want to pump to

me, but nobody talks to KT. I was the drug test guy. Man. Remember the drug test guys. Oh yeah, he had a drug test and you introduced me to uh the main song. It looks like my number one played song. I think I'm staying. Oh yeah, that's Midlake. Yeah, Midland. I wanted to say Midland, but I know I was wrong. Yeah, what's up? Man? I heard you fucking I heard you fucking awake and baked in the morning and New Year's just perked up.

Huh oh day I work. I passed my drug test too, by the way, had a random I had a random yesterday and guess what, I'm still here, brother, really get the results that fast, my mama, man, And actually you know what's crazy. Y'all know my little brother too. He's he'd be mad if I didn't mention him. Uh the deesel knowing y'all find you to pull my own. I love Yeah. Did you give me a bottle of tequila that day? Yes? I give you a bottle of tequila for your birthday, dude, Christina, Yes, I so

appreciated that bottle. And I didn't say it at the time, but I'm a more whiskey man. But but Christina loves no. No, it's all good for you, man, Okay, good Christina loves tequila and and she had some other tequilas. And just this past weekend she was drinking that bottle of tequila and I don't know where she goes. Man, this tequila smells so good, which is I don't know, it was just I've never heard

that phrase before. But yes, and we thought about you and how kind it was that you gave us that bottle just like three days years ago. Hey, man, I think about you too, Mike. Okay, big Frank, I keep talking no, no, no, Jesus every day I listen every day I'm in my van. I'm not going to say what I do in case if someone's listening. But uh, I'm up listening to your every day is the first time I called in man, But I didn't think j J would answer? What is JJ like? Man? I'm trying to

get kind to get to know the twenty first century fox man. Ask her yourself. She's right here chilling. Good morning, JJA Martin. What would you like to ask me? What do you like to drink? Oh, that's like a question. I don't know that. I don't even know that. I don't think. I mean, I know you probably drink something at the movie. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, everybody's eyes got real big. Where's he going with this? Fine? All right, go ahead, he's please about to say the word in this city. Yeah, I knew what

everybody. No, No, I actually do not like. Yeah, I drink. I'm actually a tequila drinker too. Tequila is like the family go to drink familia. Yeah for sure for the holidays, Yeah for sure. I collect a bunch of that stuff. I got some nice stuff. Yeah. No, really, I mean, like I said, I work with let's me say I work with alcohol and alcohol distributing. I drive around a

certain alcohol related vehicle around and I'm dude, I'm listening to you. I walked in all day and sometimes when you're driving around, a few premium bottles fall off the back of the trunk. Oh yeah, definitely a lot of the times. Like I said, Man, I'm dude, I'm like baked at work all the time. It's like the best I have so many cool perks. You're lucky nobody listens to the station. Yeah, I know, right. I like how we helped him pass the drug test six months ago

now today. Sure I believe me, man, I hope y'all y'all in that. Tell me your name one more time? Right, Well, no, that's it because I remembered your brother's name, and I was like, I gotta remember that's right, Ray and my little brother know he and uh know he's the one that got the diesel Yeah, with the diesel school, that's right. Yeah, the deep guy. Yeah. We were both there at his graduation and I actually talked to Katif was there too. He was

there with a I think it was his girl. I don't know. Yeah, no, he he graduated in the same day, came to our remote. Yeah, right after. Didn't he have a sign of diploma? Think he did? I told him to tell the person that after he walked the stage that he had a he had diarrhea, and that he had to go to the restaurant and then he just had his department and he walked out with it and went straight. That's so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, all right, Ray, Well, good dude, say how

to your brother? And again thanks for that sweet tequila. That was a drink. I'm listening. I will call in any comment for sure. Brother. That blow that Viking horn and I'll be there. I ray alright, black a se Ray be safe out there, buddy. And oh there he goes big Frank Ray. I like, big Frank Ray. Good lord. A little bit of a ride, wasn't it awesome? I got a little scared. Yeah, you never know that. I didn't think so I saw I saw JJ's eyes getting big, like where's he going? So do you

like to drink? I like just forties? Forties? Oh yeah, but he didn't. He did. Good. Love it, she said, I'm trying to get to know the twentieth century full. It's amazing. That is good. The screen, the original screen. Queen will be back with us tomorrow. She've seen Napoleon, she has seen Hunger Games, the New Hunger Games, mocking the Marbles something, Yeah, the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, mocking Jason or something mocking Jason sat them. It was mocking. Ji's

one of them. Now, why do you say jeez every day? I said, Jason, it's not mocking jews. That's a jay, like the one word you can kind of you get away with. But we all know I probably shouldn't say it. Yeah, I would never, and I didn't. You called me the jizzler yesterday, the Rizzler. Oh, maybe I shouldn't say that. Yeah, I wouldn't have another perk of having a station

that no one listens to. Do you guys ever think about how cool it is that we don't live in a world where at Cobra could just come up on you and show up here us in the video the well hang on the indie box Cobra? Yeah, hang on. Do we ever think about how lucky lucky we are that we don't live amongst cobras? That's the question. I don't, do you I actually I probably have thought it before. Yes, I think about it often. Look, I'll tell how you don't know

I was I was gift. I will give us this one that this is the plight of the golf man, is that we probably think of snake interactions a little more than the non golf man all the time, especially the poor golfer who's hacking it into trees and high brush and all this crap. I don't doubt that. I don't doubt that at all. But do you really often walk around going, man, what a great day? You know? Why? No cobras, cobra free. We take it for granted. We

absolutely take it for granted. You should listen every day the speakeasy two to six. It's cobra free, No cobras. I don't know a thought. A diner tonight, Albo draft House Cinema and the Cedars and you'll see them live too. Before the movie you saw the video of the Indian cobra is it was it on the tea box, the goff te box. It's appears out of the woods and starts coming at you. It's in I've got it pulled up because I figured it. Imagine you're just walking down whatever, okay,

and this son of a bitch starts looking at you. He's in strike position. Look at hit him wiggling his ass towards you. Yeah, and when he's up like that he as Mike said, strike position. Is it true that on the back of their coat it'll form an X when they're about to come get you some of the skins, the grains and the skin will turn into an X. I love snake facts, whether or not these,

Ah, because I don't know that you mean like loves snake conjecture. Yeah, exactly, like because you like the hair on a dog's back, how it stands up, stands up before it bites Kevin because all dogs hate Kevin. Yes, yes, that is real. Simon, does that like behind the neck and then on top of the butt? We had you know, clearly, I was fascinated with the python story in Oklahoma City, and I

don't remember that one from a month ago. Uh. And the Grand Prairie cobra was a huge story a year over a year ago, guess maybe two years ago. Now in Grand Prairie, we do take for granted that one of our freedoms is that we can go out for an outdoor activity and not expect a cobra to just appear out of the brush. Meanwhile, in India, very normal and not in a stereotypical manner that happens a lot there. Our cobra is even worse or deadlier than many of the snakes we have here.

I don't know that they are. I think they get a bad rap, and certainly they're a venomous snake. But I think because of that look that yeah, crazy wide neck or whatever the hell that thing is, they shoot up the ranks. Yeah, are they more deadly than a I don't know what, Yeah, Eastern diamond or Western diamondbacks, or water moccasin or I don't know the comparison level on that, because you're then we're going into venom levels. Yep. But there's not that many venomous snakes in Texas.

It's the rattlesnake in the copper head, and there's not much more than that. Like it's we we think that they all are. There's not that many. And that's where I get further out west. I think the coral snake is venomous, yes, but red black and yellow kills a fellow black, red yellow, Let it mellow or something like that. There's a saying for the I think it's I don't. I don't pee in your pools, so don't no, welcome to my ool. There's no p in it. The

same same premise red touches black safe for Jack. What ye kills a fellow? And that's in reference to the coral snacks who has a cousin that looks like the coral snake, although his coloring patterns are distinctly different. I love you guys West Texas witticisms because I know they have to make them rhymes so you guys can get through the whole sentence. Mm hmm. You appreciate that. Yeah, we still sing our ABC's Mikey Interest. So you're saying that

what if where we live now squirrels were replaced by cobras m hm. And you're saying that that's the life of someone who lives in India. Even talking about squirrels lately, one mention I've been noticing, well yesterday though too. Yeah, that was the one mentioned. No, you just did it now, the one yesterday was the one mentioned. There was one last week that I recalled. You've been on the squirrel beat a little more like all of

you East Dallas goons. The struggle is real when you live amongst a multitude of squirrels. Something Julie was campaigning for have you noticed that there's more squirrels and they're bigger than ever? And I was like, no, No, I haven't noticed that at all. There's just the same amount of damn squirrels. But I'm saying that there's so many of them. They're not like that

in India, where cobras are like squirrels. That's frightening. If every squirrel disappeared and a cobra replaced it, how would life change in thee They're hanging from trees, yep, scurring around your roof. Hevery time you open your door, you might have one just on your fence looking right at you, or two of them. I think they're pretty prevalent, man, I wouldn't leave the damn house. Dude. Well they're in your house, there's no Well, yeah, they could be in your attic, you know, they

get up there. Friend my attic right now? Yeah. I have a friend from this old country story right here here we go, no way, but well he Katt's country stories. So he lived out in the you know country a little bit, and he told us stories of like how he at night could hear like he's sleeping. He's a kid junior high kid at the time, whatever, and he could hear the snake or snakes in his walls

of his house m rattle like the rattlers. You could hear that. Now, what you do is you tell that out and you just go to sleep, and you go to school the next day, and then you tell your friends at school that you could hear the snakes in the wall last night. But imagine that seems as like it could happen to anyone. And once one thing they say, if you see snakes this time of year, weird to see them in November, right, But they are moving still? And where

are they try to move to? A quiz insulated area, into your dry wall, into your attic where they try to go to make sure you have pest control come out, you know, one or two times a year at least. I don't think they're pets and traps and things like that. Has this been the count coner? No, No, the past? What letters that starts with? So I see you discounting my knowledge, and it's fine, but it's you're right, they're not pests. But if there are pests,

that is food for them. That's why you eliminate pests. You eliminate pests, not because of the pest itself, because the pest can draw more dangerous creatures to your territory. He's right, you know, that's where one of you say that. Anybody. I think Kevo waked and baked today. Maybe it's it's Kevio's getaway day. So oh you're getting the worst I have off the charts. Yes, I actually showed up stoned yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah I did. Kevio decided I want to be like Ninghu today.

You didn't take a gummy again last night? No? Never again? No? Good God, that was terrible. I would think if you worked for a pest control company, that might be a pitch that you use, But I think it's more just an added bonus. When you call a pest control company, your primary goals get rid of the pests that you're calling about, not the fact that those pests are food for snakes, God forbid covids. We're trying to sneak into your dry wall. Kevin. Yes, you're

right. Last time you called the pest control what was it for? Rat? Cockroach? No? Rat? Yeah? Rat? Yeah? Why I never have since I've been in my house. Am I supposed to call an exterminator to coming here with the little the long metal stick and that and that. Oh for roaches, they keep the dog out of here. I don't know. I've never sprayed my house since I've been there, and I've been in my place as long as you've been in yours. It's about seven years.

I've never sprayed for roaches or anything. They will pop in on occasion. They find their way in and it's just unavoidable. But when you see one, I'm like, oh, here it comes. Here's the great cockroaching of twenty twenty one, and I'm expecting this to be tip of the iceberg. But it never happens. Yeah, it's always just one rogue free cockroach. And does Simon play with them or does he just look at him and goh uh yeah. No. I think mostly meh, pretty not activated by

the cuckoo racha. I think I usually see him in my bathroom and it's not a place that he hangs out all that much. They did come in under the pipe somehow or something like that, because that's were the first one is. Usually in the bathroom. They can get in in the up the drain into the shower. Yeah, However, they want to do it, they'll find a way, the little sick bastards. But the rat, that's the one you gotta worry about, is the rata, the one rat.

That's why she had a pet snake for security. Yeah, but it could get out like Julie's did. Julie grew up with a python in her house. It's the most insane thing. And she made it seem like it wasn't that big of adea And it got out of the cage itself and it was found like two years later, wrapped around the toilet. It sounds weird, lived a whole life just two years rummaging through that house five year old Julie. It's insane to me, it's it sounds insane. But if you know,

no, Julie, yeah, kind of makes sense. You're not surprised that Julie grew up with a giant python in her house. I believe it. When or why did some Indian man one day? You just have a flute that's and notice this works? And haven't we learned that trust buns hot truss bunds. Have we learned that the snakes are not responding to the music, They're responding to the motion of the flute because they're in effect deaf.

Is that it vibration death? Are there some type of something? Well, yeah, but I thought it was them kind of like the way they move the flute. Hypnotize them. They are deaf, they are they sits ground vibrations. Okay, so it's the vibration of the flute then too, maybe possibly, Yeah, sounds good. That's why snake charmers picked the cobra, because they're the coolest looking, because they've got the because they rise up like

that, like that cobra on the golf course. Yes, is coming at you, but a third of his body is erect, and that hood move and looking at you like the head part is locked in like a steady cam. The rest of his body is moving and this is just frozen and fast right into your eyes. Yes, Like I wonder if they how fast they are? Like ground spast twenty miles an hour? No ten, dude, he's looking it up. This here's eighteen miles per hour. Okay, he

just looked up fastest snake. The cobra is the fourth fastest, twelve miles an hour behind the rat snake, which we have a lot of those in Texas. Those are good for you, that's as they say. But they're also huge. They are huge and long. Those are Oh, they're non poisonous. The cotton mouth is the third. So we have fast snakes hereast venomous snakes yep here did you see twenty more time sweating this cobra? Did you happen to see any venom data when you I got a couple of The

King kobra is the longest venomous snake in the world. His biite delivered a tremendous amount of paralysis inducing neurotoxins thirty minutes to kill a human for a king kobra, and it says death results in at least fifty to sixty percent of untreated human cases. King kobra, you know what happens to your body starts cramping up and that's basically how you Dieugh, have you ever heard God, we have so many snake rumors that uh rumors? Well, yeah, like

the anti venom costs like twenty thousand dollars. Yeah, ver hear something like that and you got to pay it the insurance does it cover it? And it can't be true? Do you want to live? Yes? Than twenty k more than anything than twenty k Well, then you die. It's basically the American health care system in a nutshell, The American healthcare system is venom. Damn Cancer's venom. Kevin Turner, he just fell asleep. I did not. I'm awake. I've never seen him pass out on a good point.

You know, I thought it was a joke. I just wanted to lean back. The Western Taipan, the snake with the world's deadliest venom, and it says they are natives of Flower Mound, Texas. Only well, we gotta go good coming up next to the most important thing in the world. We have some supports for you later at seven and all that stuff and crazy audio at eight, and at nine o'clock a chance we'll give away a bunch of concert tickets today and a brand new thing called Kevio's Carolina Cup.

So get your race car ready. But first, the most important thing in the world. Next night, I won the freak

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