The Opener: November 13, 2023 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: November 13, 2023

Nov 13, 202327 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Monday November 13th, 2023, featuring a look at our weekends and some Cowboys thoughts

Transcript

All right, what was mock one gone? He had a screen con Monday morning, six am. The down beat is here. I'll stuff to get to today the most important thing in the world in thirty minutes, The Monday Money Medics are here for you. Sports. At seven, Cowboys won the dumbest game. It was really stupid. We'll review our predictions at eight o'clock too. A thirty didn't want to nine o'clock. There was an announcement on Friday against some stuff from that to keep you updated. You're gonna have fun

and goof with you all week long. Giving away a pair of tickets to see the National. Now it's a pretty big one. He loved the National. Love the National. What do you mean there was an announcement. There's some things that hit on Friday and on Friday after Oursia, but you think three hours before that, you can't reveal the announcement to make it a little bit more of a compelling to ease yes, I saved my good teases for later because listening, why are they listening at nine? It's it's more of

a placeholder. There three Grammy nomination. There other things there. There could be other things there, he wrote, Grammy nominations and pull some things. I question how much you really love the National. You know, I may like them. I think you may think they're fine, but I don't think you love them. You're probably top ten man for me? Away the National? Come on, they're good. Top ten. The last three albums I've been in garbage really okay? Well that should knock them down out of the

top ten. Do you have a you should have a list of ten things you love? Ten? Yeah, and we're only all allowed to have ten. Oh my god, that's official. Just things. It could be anything. My musical artist power rankings do jump up and down quite a bit. Where's spaghetti in your list? Where spaghetti is that top town? Oh, spaghetti could be up there. Man, spaghetti. Friday night, you have spaghetti. And we had Italian weekend, the three of us. You had

a spaghetti, Mikey and I had a pizza. Italian Thanksgiving it's coming and we had the veto time. The di Vito thing is quite that's quite a thing. I don't even it's unbelievable. That poor kid, I know, I know, sweet poor Tommy d. I felt so bad for him, but real quick back to Italian Thanksgiving reservations are made bro for Italians not even going to do it at home. Reservations are made to have Italian Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving. There's some place in Italy. No you're not doing it at home.

No, no, no, I'm not doing it at my house. I'm not. I'm not preparing one damn thing. So you're going to a restaurant, Yeah, you're going to strons going to I'm not going to tell you which why you think that? Yes they will, yes they will. Are you going to Roccos? Roccos? Are you going to Cafe Moliday? You're talking about Rocos down there at the Quadrangle. No, going to Roccos. Now there's this. There's several places that are that are open on Thanksgiving,

most of the Italian spots. Really just guess what. Italy doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving because they're not thankful America celebrate their Native Americans in Italy. Huh shame. You watch Sopranos. You know what they think of all that Columbus Day debacle. They do think it's beneath them that went well. When Paul jumps out of a pickup truck with a two by four, I really enjoyed soprano. It's one of the greatest comedies of all time. I was just thinking

it's good. I know, I told you. But the last episode, Christina watches the very ending and then ends so abruptly. You remember what she said? What happened? Why are you crying? Then? Like back to Silands, it's really good. Are people from New Jersey the weirdest, weirdest? Like state? What state? You're gonna say? Florida? Right? Well? I was gonna say Utah? Okay, because in my defense, most of these Florida man stories aren't like a native of Florida, you know,

yeah, yeah, Utah is pretty whack. Yes, the state wide the yeah wild rules of state wide insurance. They can't their their bars close at like nine pm. Their beer is like one, they can't have soda. Have you been No, not officially hung out in Utah, but unofficially yes, unofficially yes, off the record, much like my Thanksgiving dinner. Does that mean you've stopped over in a on a layover? What do you how? Could you? Have you or have you not been to Utah?

I can't. Oh, I think we need to move on. Oh, there may be warrants you don't have warrants from the nineties. You're a sweet man, You're not a bad boy, Dan convincing anyone. Sometimes even the sweetest kids get caught up with some ruffians. Each had to make it edgy. Yeah I did. There could be some warrants that I got caught in Utah. Okay, yeah, and in Utah it's illegal right anywhere else, it's fun we get caught. I drove up for the Olympics when they were

there from Arizona. Ah. Oh too, eh, I don't remember. Yeah, that was it city. It was beautiful. We can only afford to go see the Bob Slid. But you say that, and it's true because we went out because we tried to get tickets to watch Apollo Ono skate the short track. That's when he was the hot, the hottest thing on ice, and we couldn't afford him, and they were so expensive. So we're like, well, we got all this money, we planned on buying

these tickets. We couldn't, so we went and got like dinner, and I remember just getting drinks was such a cluster, Like an arrest tronk. You had to fill out paperwork and it was a cluster. It's a bad state it's well, yeah, it's an well, it's beautiful, it's a gorgeous it's a terrible state. Kevin, Kevin, Dirk said it. Didn't Dirk say Utah is the worst fans? Did he? I think so?

It's like the one time, maybe that was Shack. Dirk had an explosive opinion about something in his career because he was so mindful, what a sweet guy. Maybe that was Shack. He was a Dirk or Shack. You never know, man, You never know if it's Dirk or Shack that feel like Dirk said it, he might have. Do you think Mississippi might have a couple votes in this as far as weirdest state? Yeah, maybe Texas is weird. Yeah, Texas is weird and a lot of people nationally would

vote Texas on the weird weirdometer. So when you had to fill out all your paperwork to get a jack and coke or whatever it was in Utah and probably harken back to the old and you guys don't know this, but there are listeners that do the old days of the unicard in Dallas that was before it was before your time and probably before your time here, you would have remembered it had you lived here, Kevin, you're too young to remember.

The unicard for basically, to drink in certain parts of Dallas, Dallas County, you had to be a quote unquote member of the club. And that happened at like Fridays, Like you went to a TGI Fridays on Skillman and you'd have to fill out this form present your ID. Then you were in the system and you had to carry around I'm not kidding. If you wanted to drink in certain parts of Dallas, you had to you had to show your unicard. And those finally went away, I think sometime in the early

nineties maybe, But there's dude in oak Cliff. There's something still in some places and in some places designate themselves as social clubs. Yes, I don't know the benefit of that or what that is. There's one in East Dallas and I don't remember the name of it off the top of my head, but at one point went in there just because it was a random you know, let's go to someplace we've never been before, and showed up at this spot and they were like, y'all need to need your idse and needed to

sign this thing. I was like, oh, my god, this is like unicard days. And then I kind of breathe in and I look around and everybody in the bar is just crushing cigarettes inside. All right, maybe that's it because it was a private maybe private club. But I think they have the Oak Cliff Social Club, which is right near where I live.

And yeah, I think you still have to show some You show your ID and they write it down and while detectives I think is the same with that too, get private access to a speakeasy or something, not that it's some zoning thing, right, Yeah, Yeah, that's weird. It's a different maybe it's a different type of liquor license that they have that requires that from customers fee that you pay. The bottom line is when you live in the South and it comes to mashing the Bible and alcohol, all bets are off

and you just don't know what you're going to run into. That's what I'm saying is Utah is a weird state because they deal with that on an entirely elevated level. A lot of small towns. So in my small town of called Only, which is two hours west of here, they were dry my entire life. So to combat that, there are liquor stores and towns around it. One town is called Magargle, com heard of. And there's Newcastle's Newcastle yeah mcgargle, mcgargle, Newcastle population five oh five, a high school

graduating class of five. But two liquor stores. Yeah, so because you can't, we just can't vote on making the county wet. Here you can get your car and drive ten it to the liquor store. Like that's not a good We have the same thing. You have to go, you have to drive and these that's worse. And you you'll know this kt. Those

liquor stores were literally on the other side of the county line. Like if I drove west of town from Knox City, because Knox City was in the heart of the county, you'd have to drive twenty miles twenty minute drive to get to the liquor store. And it was you'd see county line and the other stores, like two liquor stores right there, right there, and those places would just flourish and were seventeen and just walking in there and buying whatever

we wanted. A check idees now hell no, and then you bring it back and but yeah, you could not buy any booze in the county. I think finally, finally they allowed beer and wine, yeah, in the county, but right now not liquor. But it's still there's still those rules. I mean, I can only buy beer and liquor anywhere about my house. I have to drive to. I go to River Cut Liquors. But you have to go under that almost downtown. I don't know what lines I'm

crossing. Seriously, you have to go down the riverfront to get liquor. Yes, that seems crazy. But I thought there was like Danny's liquor store right there on Davis Street. No really, yeah, okay, Danny's, Yeah, right out of Kessler. I thought that's a store. I'm quite sure there isn't. I I don't know. I mean, Sunday liquor laws are strange to me. But you can buy wine, I think, but

you can't get a chicken sandwich. But didn't very in one place. Didn't Abbott pass a bill that gave the option to liquor stores to sell liquor on Sunday, Like a year or two ago. I think that was either on the docket. I don't know if it got signed through, but that was they were going to give the option, and most liquor stores are like, no, we kind of like the day off. We're just gonna stay closed. And then you have to is it nine o'clock? I think Saturday night.

May it shuts off at some point you have nine o'clock, but I

missed that cut off before nine o'clock. I remember being blown away in probably nineteen ninety when I made my first trip to La Hollywood to do gigs out there and stayed at this crappy motel on Sunset and Librea, and the fact that you could walk across the street to a grocery store like a tom Thumb that was open twenty four hours, and at three in the morning you could walk in there and buy a bottle of whiskey in a grocery store at three in the morning. We were like, what, Yeah, why are we

living in Dallas? This is amazing? And there's Nicky six of Motley Crew. What'd you say to him? No, I'm kidding, but it would not have been uncommon. Any's liquors on Northwest Highway. The one I'm saying it have Dingu's face up. Yeah, it does. Well. How about I was looking at of all things traveling to Saudi Arabia. That was weird stuff on the internet. You get some deals in place and it's he's joining

the live tour Michael Siroy at iHeartMedia dot com. If this is a cha e l for any of my Saudi Arabian friends or eal, that's all eight am I c h a ye ye. But that whole country is dry, like bone dry. Yeah they have Yeah weird can you imagine that? And they're against it? Yeah, bone dry country. They drink, they're leaders some of the drink. Oh yeah, it's all Johnny Walker blue. At worst, it's all all those lost Pappy van Winkle bottles or you can't buy

a bottle of vodka in Saudi Arabia. But homosexual is thrown off of building. What's wrong with this picture. I've had a lot of important, high end phone calls with people in Saudi Arabia zero zero. Well, the one thing did involve a type of alcohol sponsorship, and they're like, oh, we can't be involved in that. Really it Yeah yeah, because it's bone to no go. They don't want to be seen as people who drink, although they do. It's what's weird too, is they have because when I

was in the Air Force. I went to Saudi Arabia and Bahrain, and you can drink in Bahrain. And Bahrain is an island nation attached just by a bridge to Saudi Arabia, a really long bridge, if I recall, And they will do the same thing you guys were describing county to county. They'll go, but you can't bring it back, not legally, but you

know some of them do. But even us, drinking in Bahrain was god almost impossible, and I think the military was technically not allowed to drink, just to say, all of us from public beheadings, which actually happened when I was there. Someone gets their head chopped up. Yeah, yeah, I wasn't on location, but yeah, there was a town square public beheading.

Jesus of a civilian. I don't know. We were on the very southern tip of Bahrain, Shakeysa Air Base, which is probably twenty five miles from Manama, which is the capital of Bahrain, and it happened there, So we weren't there and we were kept away, you know, like there's only certain days you could go up and mix it up. But Bahrain had restaurants. There's a dam fud Ruckers there. I remember you can make your own hamburger in Bahrain. I think I went into the fud Ruckers, but

I remember it was there. Yeah, really pretty nice burger. It's not bad and it's got the little bar where you can dress it yourself. Yeah, exactly. Very beefy. You want fifteen tomatoes, absolutely, bitch, stack them, handsome and like your day at fudd Rutgers and like too much beef. I don't want to hear you're the star at fudd Rutgers. You don't want too much beef? Uh huh? Yeah, didn't you learn that on Friday? Yeah? To a double will get you, it'll it'll ruin

a day a weekend. What was the text? The quote unquote friends was my favorite part. Somehow we put it on us. Yeah, it's our fault, like we're going to put the chains on the bull. Yeah, that's headed directly the snarling bull to eat a double freaking chili cheeseburger at eight A. I think that that was a good idea for the future of your weekend. It didn't sit well all day that I okay, I'm sorry, I do this every time, but can I play something for you? Absolutely?

It involves what we're talking about, and it involves JJ HIJJ. Hello, good morning, Happy Monday. We take you back in time to Friday. This is when JJJJ feel creaking up. This is when Mike was discussing the burger he had just eaten and he was starting to not feel very well. Mike Siroy with the brilliant decision to eat an entire double chili cheeseburger from Water Burger. Hi, the whole thing, Yes, all of it.

That's one of the biggest burgers I've ever seen. Two old beef petties, a mountain of chili, crispy onions, kedder cheese, and I was wondering how you were feeling and what sound you would make if I came over and poked your tongue tongue. And then Mike texted us on Saturday, I can't believe my quote unquote friends, let me eat that whole burger yesterday. Well you should have tackled me about halfway through. I didn't even dude, it

was gone before I even noticed that. You like, if we're unwrapped, it break, he told you. I didn't get easy with that burger. I had crazy eye. Everybody was better than the last. It was so good. That was good. I would not pre eight. I actually wouldn't order go into those things. And I got just a single butter, I said, really, can we not make this a double? That's the answer.

Make it a single? Had it hit a good PM hour. I saw a giant billboard for that exact sandwich on Sunday and I did like a double take, and I kind of squinted as I drove by, and it was both. I was like, hello's delicious, but never at what price? The buns started talking con three days damn good burger, though, But I think you're right. Single, yeah, single, Just like we said split food, we don't ever need the double. They don't ever get the

double. I just hit a damn single burger. Yeah, but it's two slices of one hundred percent all American beef. Fine making it Yes, yes, please, ma'am. This is something else I noticed, only forty to make it a double more? Oh, yes, welcome to value. Yes, I can't afford not to some and I love water Burger obviously, but they at some point. I think this is about when the merger happened, about four or five years ago. I guess that was probably twenty twenty or

twenty twenty one when Chicago bought them. And you'll just notice on the menu everything is a double or a triple now, and I'm like, okay, it wasn't always the case that everything on the menu had two big pieces of meat on it. It's one thing always like that when they offer that option at like a Wendy's, because the burgers are smaller and the meat's thinner. At Wendy's. Yeah, you get a triple. It's kind of like you're

getting a single at a regular Burger. But at Water Burger, those are some bitches are already big boys as is, and you're doubling your pleasure with that extra slab. One American beef last he had a triple and never never get my mouth on it. I've had a three by three at in and Out and that's manageable. Oh that sounds good. It's good. What times in and out open? Eight today? You want to you want to favor some in and out over here to be here at eight o'clock. There's one

right up the yeah, right. There was a big weekend for hamburgers. Just a chili contest. Oh yeah, there were no tins. No, there were no tins. You were firm, but fair. I was firm. A bunch of drunks on the judging table, the panel, on the panel, Yeah, on the panel, a bunch of drunks who were like giving out tens frequently. I was like, so you're telling me this is the greatest thing you've ever tasted in your life, this is the best chili you've ever had of all time. And he goes, you know, you're

right. He marks out to ten and it's a nine. But there are no point fives, no point fives, Yeah, all whole numbers. So you're yeah, once through ten ten should be incredibly rare. So anytime anything is judged, just know it's not a worthy panel of people who know anything about anything. They were given the panel tequila shots and they were asking for more. It's like every time you would try chili, there was a tequila shot coming through two pm on Saturday. I was hammered out of my mind

because I was on a chili panel. What's about fun? It's a chili con carnival. Kevin was the integrity of the panel. I guess we must have some fun and pick a winner. So there's one guy from one of these media companies. It was like, so, so, how was the judging work. And I was like, go back to your tent, buddy,

the judging. What scale you're judging on and what factors. So there was a theme too, because they had, you know, you set up your these these chili teams company set up a canopy or whatever and they cooked their chili there on site, and there was a theme. And this year's theme was American Heroes under the Sea. Yeah, so like one night one of them was like mash. Their theme was mash American Heroes, right,

that makes sense. So one of them was they had like a tailor Swift and a Travis Kelcey cut out and they were winning the appearance and I had to stopped the panel. I was like, how they're American heroes? I said, have any of y'all ever served? That's a shot in the face to the troops fact, I said, Taylor Swift's hit song is called anti hero Why are you idiots voting for that? They're like, well, the American heroes the most popular thing of the world. The most popular thing in

the world is American heroes. I mean, Jude I was holding it down for a first time as the rookie on the panel. Yeah, I had to get that panel into shape because they were making some foolish decisions and it seemed like you were running them over if the one guy changed his vote. I ended up winning. You took control of the panel, control of it and Mash one as they should have a Mash themed chili, But they were not a mass of them chili. It's just the decoration of the canopy.

They went with the camouflage and things like that for the theme of American hero which everyone else seemed to ignore. So one of the chili camps in their tent, they had a cardboard cutout of t Swift and Kelsey. Yeah, why would they do that because they thought they were American heroes? Were there little little cutouts in the chili or something? Or you're also to be judging their chili. That's such more of a theme of more from the from the

team's decoration and then the chili is what you're really judging. But they give a give above a prize to the best decor o the best camp. All right, so we ended up winning. I don't know, left early the name of the chili. The worst thing Rocks is driving while he's launching projectile chili out of the passenger window because he's blasted on tequila. All right, Dan, you on the taste? You just a little spoon. Didn't have much chili? So that want to make one butter crush a hamburg Are you

kidding? Yep? How many chilies did you eat? There were seven? Seven, seven spoons of chili? What were some other themes? One was horses? So I was like, am I eating horse chili? It was? But it was good and all to support the Dream Fund? How was your hamburger? Delicious? So good? Make them? Oh told you a big weekend for Hamburger. We take we give her stomach aches on Saturday too. God y oh, well that's a good opening. Coming up next,

we're gonna solve We've got your cowboys, some cowboys stuff. At seven? Is that game was really stupid? Yesterday? It wasn't It was awesome. It was awesome, but also real dumb. And I'll show you how dumb it was at eight thirty. But the Monday Money medics are here to solve and save some third world countries. That's next to ninety seven won the freak

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