The Opener: January 4, 2024 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: January 4, 2024

Jan 04, 202427 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Thursday January 4th, 2024, and Mikey saw a movie that he thinks you need to see

Transcript

Good foggy Thursday morning, Betric twis, the weekend is rushing towards us with a passionate enthusiasm that you can't even handle. We've got a Hall of Famer Drew Pearson on at nine o'clock a day for a picture glass. You're ready for that? See if he talks smack about the Eagles. Hey thirty ding Goose Morning News. Got a chance for you to win three pairs of Maps tickets eight o'clock. Each of you one pair of Maps tickets at eight o'clock. What you will do is call in at two, one, four or

eight one seven, seven, eight seven one nine seven one. You will tell JJ your area of expertise, whatever that may be, and if you can in your crown, get a pair of tickets to the MAVs next Tuesday night. Get it too. The Epstein list stuff at six point thirty. Once again, little development on that last night. More to come. YEA about that, says I'm Kevin Turner of Danny Baylis and Mike Siroy getting color text in two one, four, eighth, seven, seven, eight seven

one night seven one game. JJ Jackson producing the show today. Hi, Kevin, would you guys eat a baby for their sweet delicious adrenochrome. Yeah, to make you be younger, like, look younger, feel younger. Yes, let's just say, what do you mean. Let's say you get to a certain age if you let's get to the sweet in the pot here a little bit, and then we'll start talking twenty years off your age,

Like literally, I'm not twenty seven years old. Oh yeah, No, I mean like what you do on a day to day base just maybe the same, but you will feel twenty years younger by eating a baby. Am I gonna live twenty years longer total? Yeah? Maybe? Yeah, I would say yes, yes, and then you could have that option to eat

a baby again and get twenty filled twenty years younger. Again. This came up because you're talking about conspiracies, and it's weird when like the wild conspiracy get thrown out that some politicians they're they're eating babies that got thrown out there. You just got talking about Aaron Rodgers and Jimmy Kimmel and all that stuff, and how Aaron Rodgers is probably not real happy that there was like no

new information on the list. Well there's a little new information, but not a lot, and it's just kind of wild that that was one thing that was thrown around the few years ago. They're eating babies, Like really, yeah, it's adreanochrome. That's the root of the conspiracy. And that is something that's in babies that allegedly turns you into Superman drinking the fountain of youth. Yeah, okay, yeah that's what I did. Yeah, I don't know how. I don't know how conspiracy Well, I don't want how got

so quick to where we're all lizard people were drinking baby blood. Well, the Internet, Yeah, and people whoever made that up was joking. They're like, oh my god, all right, what's the dumbest thing you can think of? Whoever made that up was trying to get attention and clicks and follows. Yeah, and it worked. It worked to a movement that people that I know very well believe some of it. Yeah. How did pre Internet age Richard Gear get that attached magic? That is one of the cool

human tricks we pulled off. We're obsessed with that when we were in you know, everyone was when we're in high school. No, we're obsessed with the how the the first someone said that first that Richard Gear had a gerbil in his ass like one person, one person everything, and like every cool saying everything, it's one person had to say it. I always, I always love the phrase when the S hits the fan, Like that's what genius thought that up one and then said it out loud in front of another human,

you know, when the S hits the fan. That's been around for forever and I think I've done a dive on it actually, and I think it's a farming term that I don't know, something like that, but it's just genius. So yes, I think of that a lot. It's like who the first someone said it first? Pre Internet? Because when you think of it in its literal sense, it's quite a funny visual. It's incredible

and it kind of describes, you know, chaos, perfect chaos. What are you doing with that's all covered in right and there's no rhyme or reason and you have to get a new fan. A brand new fan is sling it all over the room. You know, you could have answered that question a lot quicker. Would you eat a baby? No? You want to hear them thinking about it? How old is the baby? Setting yourself up

to be a repeat customer at Golden Playpen Buffet Hey, Mike yuck. Okay, No, I'm not gonna eat babies, but blood boy, thank you. What's a blood boy? Oh? Is that when you get like a young man to get blood transfusions from. Yeah, you basically hand pick someone. You pay them so you find your ideal. Most it's usually a twenty one year old. I don't know why. It's usually you handpick them and they give you their blood. Yeah, and you swap out blood. Do

they take your blood or do they just make their own blood? Probably a bad idea. If you're getting that blood boy, then you're gonna want one that regenerates its own blood real quick. You don't take all of it at once. Yeah, you get like a little palettes. But we constantly make new blood, right, Oh dude, doctors call in? I don't know that one. I think we I think we do. If we're making new blood all the time, where does the old blood go to an old person?

Yeah? That's why they tell you not to pick your scabs, because you lose that needed blood that we make. We make all the blood we need. Doctors call in, we make new blood. Search two, here we go. How fast does your body make blood? Your body makes about two million new red cells every second, but cell, did you know tiny two million? You that is, Kevin. You don't have to show me with your hand, and I guess old blood cells just go out of your

peepee. Yeah, so it only takes a number of weeks to build up stores of them again. So yeah, dude, if you get some of that valley ground beef that got recalled, then some of that that blood's going out the back end. Where does our old blood go? Uh? Older, Damaged red blood cells are removed from the circulation by macrophages in the spleen and liver. Like I was pretty much what I was saying. What did you even mention those two organs? Just pretty much because you're thinking of what

you're gonna say next and not listening to the good dollar. I went to the doctor yesterday. I saw doctor Monic Agerwald just yesterday and report it's not good. It down, thumbs down across the board. Oh no. He had like a young I don't know, a young boy, a young blood boy with him. And I'm friends with my doctor. He's incredible, doctor Monica Agerwall. I love him and he's like, hey, can I have this? He called him not my intern, but he had a teen an

early teen fellow who was an aspiring doctor. He's like, can he sit in a protege? Yeah, maybe protege, I don't know how that works. And he sat in. So it was kind of weird, Like my whole thing. There's a little little boy in the room, just silently well dressed, standing in the back in aspiring doctor say, boy, you mean like somebody in high school or yeah, he's probably yeah, eighteen thirteen for fourteen, I don't know. Did he ask you if it was okay if

he was in there? Yeah? Yeah, and he walked in. That's weird. Well we're friends, like I said, it's and I quickly of course said yes. How much nudity was in your visit? Well I was new when they both walked in, so completely standing there naked. Of course, No you weren't, of course, like, no, seriously, how much there's no so he didn't have to jiggle and fondle, come on,

duper shake that tiny. I was just there naked with my duper jersey just gently over my crotch long enough like Mariah carry in that Michael Jordan Wizard's dress. Yeah, just sexily standing in the in the room. And I'm like, who's this who's this kid? Doc? I thought it was our time, and I slowly raised my duper jersey bubble. But everything's bad. Yeah, everything's terrible. Did he do your panels and all that? Well? I got my blood work done, and I actually really took a moment.

I try to do this. I feel like I'm a nice person and I try to show that with my actions. And my phlebotomist was in there, and it's the same older woman, African American woman. I mean, honestly, if I had a guess, i'd guess she's sixty five years old, which probably she looks thirty. She's lovely looking woman, but you can tell she's older anyway. She's really good at taking my blood. I don't love it. Who loves taking the needle, you know? But I don't mind

it that bad. And she comes in, she's just very distracting and talks but knows what she's doing, very kind, and I just think she does a great job. Every time. I'm happy when I see her. I'm like, cool, this is the lady who's gonna treat me good. And I just really went out of my way afterward to compliment her and tell her how great at her job I think she is. And it like to acknowledge and respect that she has. I mean, granted, she does this all

day every day. To her, it's nothing. She's not like, oh no, it just sticks some one with a needle. But I think on someone, well, she knows she has a job, that you're meeting someone in a relatively tense moment and to learn little tricks of distract, action and comfort and get the job done quickly, efficiently. And I think she's just consistently really good at it. So I took a moment to really appreciate her

for what she does. And she stopped as she was, you know, going through her routine and about to leave the room, she stopped and that's really sweet. Thank you, So which I mean, I don't know. I made somebody feel really nice out of nowhere. That's nothing, there was nothing there, And then on thin air, good feelings for both of us. Let's get back to your medical report. So in the next six months, we'll be doing a lot of fanking people who have been good to me.

Yeah, right, just really appreciative. Well, let's be fair, you've been you've been sick, you know, over the holidays. You missed our first day back. Yes, and you haven't been one hundred percent. You know, your voice sounds a little compromised. I heard a little a little coughing. It sound terrible, a little coughing before we went on air.

Yeah, but I mean, you seem like you're doing better. But let's be fair, you've been sick, so it's you know, stands to reason that you wouldn't like get a g great report if you're getting a little physical it's not like a report really hard. I got my blood taken. We'll find out, okay or whatever. Well, why do you say it was a negative? Why you're disappointed? Look, I'm concerned. I worry about you. I'm a I'm a Sherman tank and I know that you've been

making concerted efforts to manage your diet. Better to get on a few more walks than normal and drop some LB's. I'm five pounds down, so okay, that's what I'm looking for. There we go. Yeah, you go, man, Thank you work my metal liquid down point five pounds. No, Yeah, I lost twenty pounds over the last year, just about Uh, I don't I'll get the blood work back. But liver numbers were the key. I was drinking too much. I had a very stressful job.

It's not super chill like it is now. Yeah, but that dude, you've cut your alcohol intake probably by sixty at least work in this ship. Yes you have to. Yeah, I drink. I don't drink it all on weeknights. Yeah, because before when you didn't have to get up until noon. I mean, this guy was going through a couple of tumblers, a night of the brown, the Walk of Shame with a recycling bin, just clanging and banging like Wayne the Rock Johnson in the gym as I roll

it out to the street. That's a that's a sad day. Trash day, clan clan, clan clan. You know It's more sad than trash day, though, is when they get off on their holiday schedule and the routines all broken, right, A big trash bag. We don't have barrels in Richardson. You just put the bag outside. And you know what, Bens, you're not richards don't do bins. What you just put bags loose bag a lot of alleyways and that's how they do it. You just put the

loose bag out there. You don't even have like an old school oscar the grouch metal cans, right, no metal? What the hell? So your blue bag's yours hycling of course, and you have your your black or white

bag will be your actual trash. But you get off and you think it's trash day and you lay it out there and then I don't know, you guys, see every morning the grass is just wet everywhere, and it's rained the other day and I'm like, I don't know, I'm gonna do anything about this, but that trash has been out in the alley for about four days now, just sitting there. Yeah, rain on it, And what do you do. They're the ones who got off the schedule. Yeah,

you're the one home with your family. Yeah, on my routine. And then you're right, would you drag it back to for some reason, just sit next to your house and get all wet and ask no, I don't want the possum near my house. No, get the possum away, get

him in the alley. Think about the feeling of utter defeat when the Richardson trash man shows up in your alley and reaches down for the bag, and you never know whether these people got the good industrial strength thefties, or if they got the ninety nine trash bags from Dollar Tree or get them for free at the Richardson and A fitness center. And they pick it up and they went wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. Yeah, and they pick it up and

the bottom falls out and there's just diapers and banana peels. Okay, is that their responsibility at that point? I don't know. Did they just leave it there? Do they have to get a broom and a shovel and clean that up and throw it into the the trash truck. Oh, we didn't get a waste management specialists? Got a number? Okay, ask a blank returns. Let's do it, Bak, have so many questions, right,

Okay, let's do that. You have your number for the night. Yeah, I got a guy from a remote months ago, like when we used to be allowed to go on remote. Let's student next week. We're gonna be loaded up tomorrow because Sunday is the Golden Globe Awards and we're all going to compete with an audience member for mystery giveaway special. Okay, we will

have a we'll have three. This will be tomorrow at nine o'clock, We'll have three callers on and we'll each kind of you know, we'll talk to him for a minute, get to know them, but well then we'll we'll

be basically playing for them. We'll fill out a golden Globe's ballot and the two winners have come through for their caller, and they will get mystery prize, oh, based on next week's giveaway, which we don't know what it is yet, So we usually find out on a Sunday afternoon evening what our giveaway is for the week, right, and what is it this week? Mass tickets math tickets, which we will be giving away three pairs of those at eight o'clock when you call in and name your area of expertise and we

will challenge you. I love it. It's a tribute to the America's hottest new game show, The Floor, getting rave reviews across the nation. Can I just get your head for that segment? Yes? Uh, plumbing is the area of expertise that Carrie? Yes, okay, so just you can get that question chalked up and then we'll got it to the other two of them plumbing facts and then there's trains for the guy on that drives to Chico

every day. He hasn't called back. He will since we made him sad that I think he listening the day brought up that he had definitely killed someone he didn't know. He was entering into ask a blank turned into ask a train conductor. It had to though, it had to. We learned a lot that day. That's fascinating. When we get our prize reveals for the week, it's always like kind of the holy Grail when you get MAVs tickets. When you're all right, that's a big one. No more helmet shows,

watch that numbered dance. Let's always go to bin and Skin for some reason. Oh, because I asked that they get moved over to ben'skin. He train man. Would you call in again? He's not Lis train man. I don't remember his name, but he was cool, and I feel like I'm sad by asking questions. Do you really think it was Tim? Yeah? Okay, the man him, the train man. We're sorry, and we liked you, dude, we thought was super interesting. We're sorry

you ran over a family. Okay, he didn't say a family. It was clearly it was one person laying in the road, and you can he's so happy, and he was, so he's in such a good mood until they were like you ever run anybody over in your train? And he kind of just got quiet and he's like it's it was an attractive lady attached to the tracks ropes well, a sinister man with a wispy mustache in the top hat was twirling his must ran away from the scene, right, he was

holding TNT. What a stupid trope? And she had a sign that said help a bikini like whine. How many people in world history you think were rope to train tracks? I mean a lot. I mean hundreds. And they think a bombs of that shape too. It's a lot of dumb stuff. Man, damsels cartoons ruined, but we think cartoons ruined. Just what are they gonna do now that steamboat Mickey has hit the public domain? Yeah, you murder right. They're gonna make him a murder They did Winnie the

Pooh, Blood and Honey a murder movie. I mean that stuff supposed to say, the Golden Gloves for Sunday Night? Did you get do you guys get anything? What jull get? The big math tub licking sing and saltburn? Do you want us to watch Saltburner. Not it's too long. I think, I don't think you should. I know it's not good. I know JJ liked it, but she had it in top ten. I think, right, yeah, my god, I would have JJ text me what number in your top ten you had saltburn I I was sit there going,

really this movie? No? But I hear it's great. It is kind of good. And if it's one wank singing in a bathtub or whatever happens to this bathtub, it's the new viral trend to watch. The new viral trend is to watch that scene with your parents and post it online. Is that really? Anything? Can't tell me a little more? Is there? Du homie is one person, one one guy. It's the guy from You four plays Elvis in the Priscilla movie, Jacob Lordie. He hosts Saturday Night

Live next week, okay? And then the other guy, Barry Keegan Kogan Kogan. He gets in the tub too, Is that okay? JJ? For confirmation? Very good? No, he's watching Where's he watching from from the toilet from her side room because the door's cracked open, and then he gets up. Once he gets out, about ten minutes later, he goes into the tub and we got a close up footage of him licking the drain, Neil, and he starts sucking the water out of Okay, that's what

you were. That's your joke from yesterday, yuck licking the baptub drain. Yeah. None of my jokes are original. They're all based off pop culture things I've seen. So I went down a dirty work. He done a dirty work wormhole yesterday and neither one of us knew it. And I've seen that damn film. What were your references? Yeah, the whole thing about Sigon whores in the back of the trunk. I didn't even realize he was either just lifting that from a film. I thought it was hilarious too too.

I went to bed last night when I was doing my normal debate on if our show was ever funny at all, I'm like, we had a used car thing being shot with Sigon horrors popping out of the trunks interrupting production. Is that all in the movie? Yeah? The answer once again is no, we're not. Norm McDonald's funny. Okay, Yeah, I don't think anyone's debating that Norm McDonald's funny. And Kevin has a good memory.

Did the text line lit up with all one of incredible reference people don't need need to to be funny, that is, to reference cool things like Dirty Work, the highly critically movie. The point I was asking, did you guys see anything over the break? Have we done anything? Or do we need more time for that? I've seen a ton of stuff. I w all the lists of stuff I saw. Do you want to do one real quick? Yeah? All right? How about this? I watched The Creator? You did? Yes? Did you love it? I loved it?

You did? Yeah? Okay, I want to see it? Okay? Is it free now on HBO Netflix? Spiel Max so yeah, yes, it was free? Yeah, okay, I'm so stupid, John David Washington is it? And that's Denzel's kid. Okay. That dude's amazing. I didn't even know it was Denzel's until the movie was over, and I guess I've seen him do some other stuff. He is just great. That dude will be doing his thing for the rest of our lives. He's so good. Movie is excellent. Okay. Stergil Simpson's in the movie right everything now?

Okay, I didn't know the dude acted. I didn't know anything. Is he good? He's awesome, And Christina pointed out and I'm like, God, looks familiar, but I'm like, what have I seen him in? I didn't register like instantly, and she's like, that is that Stergil Simpson. Yeah, and he's not a massive role, but he's got tons of lot He's got a lot of lines, like he's a significant part of

He's great and Killers of the Flower Moon and the Righteous Gymstones. Okay, I still haven't seen their most recent Righteous so he's just full conversion to actor now or doing both, I suppose. But man, the last music stuff I remember about him outside of the weird Fusion album he did, Oh, he did do a He did do a disco song this year with some country

girl in Diplo. But I remember him just like he toured with a four piece band and was like, well, the audience doesn't really uh pay attention to my shows anymore, and he didn't have the horns and the big fun thing. Really yeah, he was kind of like, well this sucks. Well great, it was great. I do recommend man. It was really really smart future I mean obviously futuristic AI thing I loved. I love the idea of that. The second I saw the trailer for the first time,

and JJ loved it. Now you love it. Okay, it's really good. It takes I have to get like six references before I'll watch anything. That's my Christmas Craft recommendation. But right at the beginning, he's in this futuristic helicopter and they have they have time for a song, and they're flying into some battlefield and guess what starts Oude. This is like the beginning of a Dave Chappelle stand up spec Okay, okay, I watched some of that

too. If you want to know the shortcut to my heart, just drop a radiohead dime in the middle of something that I'm unsure if I like it or not. It just instantly all right, Yeah, well this guy's are clearly cool. So yeah, everything in his right place right here begins right as he's flying into his you know, war or whatever it is, and I'm like, here comes the tears. Okay, I'm watching this maybe today, and they let it go for you know, another full minute, beautiful,

beautiful use of the song as always. And then I did try to watch some of the Chappelle. They yes, and they had uh Daydreaming, which is on a Moonshape Pool Radiohead as Dave Chappelle's like intro before he hits the stage, and that dude's covered. You know, he sings creep. He does a funny version of Dave Chappelle's seing creep. I think he's got a Radiohead hitch. But uh, yeah, it's two Radiohead things. Plus I'm almost done with the book that nanny got me for Christmas. Dang,

you boys do that? Yeah? How is it great? Is it great? Very interesting? I got the same book for my oldest Josh. He's a big fan and uh one of the most avid readers I've I know in my life, and he's already I think he's basically done with it. He said that the author at one point said that, uh, at to the release of kid A, he felt he felt that Radiohead was going to turn into a thinking man's smash mouth, and I thought that reference was really weird.

Wow, I don't remember that. No, But there was a lot of comparison like Lincoln Park What, which I guess was one of the highest selling like rock acts of the early aughts. It was a comparison of music genres. It wasn't comparing Radiohead to Lincoln Park, but just decisions bands make when they make when they have success, and then they decide to completely change directions. Uh yeah, interesting book, I mean not Yeah, I really like it. Almost done with it. I'll bring it to you and you

can knock it out after. Okay, really good, love it? Bottom line? Creator, we say no, don't eat babies. Yes, Oh, I'm kind of forgotten about that. Yeah, we can't push that under the form making it easier for the audience. What's the rating of the movie? We're bringing it full uh fives? What nothing to be perfect? Uh, I'm pretty strict, so I'm gonna I'm gonna three point three point seventy five out of five or four out of five. Yeah, you liked it

that much? Huh, Yeah, it was really good the creator, all right, five, don't dumplings up. You got a bunch of stuff that you watched over the holidays. I want to hear more of those throughout the day. All right. Coming up next, we have the very latest on what was unveiled last night, at least some of the documents from the Epstein list. Next ninety seven one, The Freak

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