The Opener: February 29, 2024 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: February 29, 2024

Feb 29, 202429 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Thursday February 29th, 2024, featuring a letter from a listener and a discussion on America's fastest rising hobby

Transcript

Every final day of February. It's late day. We're going to talk ConA show down feet carry Jane, You're going to talk ConA show. It's gonna be a weird one today. Uh we We actually do have a serious segment of eight then two firefighters who have history of fighting in wildfires at eight o'clock. So we've been following the North Texas wildfires have been the Panhandle of West Texas fire wars. Billboard Bayless back at nine, a special leap day edition

of Billboard Bayless, so much more. Another big win for the MAVs. Jerry's got to do something in a cup. Maybe it's a mouth swab. Hey help when we're when the news junkies are wrapping up their news junking five fifty seven, we started singing a new song about Jerry that we can't. Let's sing on the air what he's gonna do in a cup? He's gonna

do nothing in a cup? Right, and Kevin's had He's in a cup on a fifty yard line on the Star on the start, if he had to donate on live TV channel, Let's do this right out the gate coming on. I like it. I can't believe we're doing this. Okay, it's Elite Day. We want to do something weird. There's not too many songs that feature here about Kevin. Kevin, damn it, I gotta do it. Not too many Leap Day songs. There's three pieces of paper and a hat. Kevin A selected one, select one, hang on, hang

on, hands don't know, I see it. J J. It's party. Do we open and we're gonna open right as the song starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, who oh yeah, it's me. Oh Jesus rank it all right, little Special Edition Special Day six o two. Al is you're randomly out of the video, you idiot? This was rick? Is it? I get up and nothing gets speed down? You got it, job, I've seen the toughest around and I know, baby, just tell you be you you got the wrong with the buchets to get the words feel

I guess you see me down in here. I got my back to get the rector. But she's frock. Ain't the worst that you see? Can't you see what I means? Might as well jump jump, but as well, job, go ahead and chop down? Oh baby, go ahead and jump? Is there more a lot who hate you? Who said that? Maybe how you be You say you don't know who You won't know until you begin the words. Don't get to see me standing in here. I got my back against the record. But she ain't the worst that you see.

Oh can't you see what I mean? Come on, he might as well go ahead and jump? Who wrote this might as well? Job? Now, go ahead and job take it? Kevin, Hey, Hey, Ray sol Oh god, god, Stappy, I can action missus book game like that? But now, oh my god, a sense up? Look good, Eddie got a Eddie got a keyboard for Christmas? All right? Can we stop the whole song? Oh we leape sleek day. It's late day, Danny. Every four years you have to do this. It's a weird

carry out the version, dude. It's kind of fun building there. Get us back home with passion, show everyone, good job get it? Jump, get in here, go ahead and job lead is there? Jump jump jump jump jump jump what dumb word? Jump? Absolutely? Oh dude, why didn't trump? This is jump? Tump trump? Trump? The fuck? Jump? How about that? Danny? You feel awake now? No, you're alive now I feel like I have a sore throat. That's not easy, really, what diamond Dave is not easy. It's harder than I

thought. Oh my god, I didn't jump jump because of leapier. Yeah, not jumpier leapier. Yeah. I'm sure you guys scoured. I think this contest was rigged. Was it rigged? We all talked about it right before. We were like, we're all willing to do it. We were good. Each picked a piece of three pieces of paper. But Kevio always loses. That's been a trend to don't believe that he wasn't singing jump like I just all night. I was just in my mind. The video that

I played of the future last night was kevi O singing Jump. Yeah. Me too. Yeah, that's why I wasn't regular shocking. Sometimes I like to let you guys have a little free time, so I'll just you know, if I get an idea or something, I just run it by the house rather than going here goes. But as an idea actually wrote down months ago for whatever reason. Her response, well, not that one, but her response was why do you want to do another bet? You always lose

them all. I was like, you know what, that's a fair point. But I will say that the Masked Singer draft is something that I know the loser, but everyone watches it, and everyone watches it. I don't care. I don't know. I have any idea would be on that show. That's the point of it. It's always c listers. Please don't put put that on us to have to watch that. You have to watch about

it updates like you just find online. I'll track it. You don't have to do anything but draft ten people, or you could draft what animal they might dress that past food. I'll take food. Yeah, because on the finals that the bet PAF is the loser, whereas the least. It's just like the SNL draft. That's the mass singer draft. The loser has to wear whatever the costume is in the finals, good work for a day. We have to. If it's a parakeet, you gotta be a parakeet.

If it's a cucumber, you have to be it and just do your best to dress as a parakeet. Yeah, because those costumes like expensive. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. It'nate definitely a diet version of it. But because it's it's totally random, there's no strategy. You can you know, with the S and L draft, you can have a little stategy. Who's got a new album coming out? Who's got a movie coming out? Like Sidney Swingey? Is this this week's host? You know? Casey Muskirt's

got an album coming out? Makes sense? Yeah? With the mass singer, it's what celebrities are out of work right now and have been for a while. How many horny dudes that haven't watched Saturday Night Live in thirty years or tuning in this weekend for that double bill? You know? WHOA She's great? Who is it Sidney Swinging? And who Casey Musgraves? There's a little fireball or isamic duo? There? Can I say something? As a guy who looks that he would live under a bridge? She is hot.

No one's denying that Sidney Swingy is hot. But the absolute quickness for her to be anointed one of the hottest chicks ever, which is happening right now boobs and ass hot hot hot, Yeah, I think it's her uh willingness to do whatever and you follow the top, yeah, you know, because she I think she's a little unorthodox looking in a hot way, you know, but she's not like perfectly traditionally hot. I don't think he's got kind of a unique look, but I agree with you there you know, yeah,

yes, she's not like a glamour model type. She's fairly girl next door and until you put her in a tank top and then all bets are off. But I don't look at those things. I don't see women that way. Mikey this said, they looks like a dead heat and a Zeppelin race before we come on the air. Whereas the Hammer used to put it looks like two bald headed midgets wrestling. Oh my gosh, but we don't say that word. We don't either, changed so much to become a slur.

What do you say, challenged guys shaving shorn? Yeah, optionally shaven. But I'm offended. I can't say bald Danny Bayliss Okay, okay, baldy all it works. That's like the hard the hard Why you can't use a hard why step cony, buddy, baldy Buddy's okay, buddy, Yeah, but you chose to be completely bald. You could have it all that look like that guy, I could have it all. I'm serious if you like threw that out for a year, like you're the hair that you've been,

that that Jesus has blessed you with on this planet. If you threw it out for a year, which would probably be about four to six inches long, it would be the meathead from all in the family that style. It wouldn't even be that much. It'd be amazing. Okay, you're like Jesus, you get me. It would be amazing. I will say I'd be the only person in America with that look. No, you wouldn't. No one wrong rocks even that look. Yeah, they do with that,

just the the strap of hair. Yeah, I mean grandparents do. Yeah, No one you that you see on even a photo or television keep trying the volume down on it. So doesn't Larry David kind of have that? But he just he's missing the strap. He's just it's chrome on top and then the thing around the side, you know. Yeah, yeah, And he's a rarity for that. Yeah. And he's looked exactly the same for twenty years. When Larry David's friends died, I know, at eight thirty,

poor Richard. Well, if my plan goes properly, you may see that look on your television screens this summer. Okay, you do you want to disclose this? I don't know if I can. My friends at CBS want me to man, you got a contact, you had a contact pr man. Yeah, it's a big deal. All right, you're not willing to discuss it, then let's just move on there. Yeah, okay, okay, j J greaman audiop please, fine, please, we'll press HI moment. Let's activate the randomizer. I'm still going what we do? Was

he surprised it's you? You knew it was gonna stop. Yeah. I got an email from a listener, Na May Andrew, and I wanted to read this to you guys. And he also posted in his email where he would and put down his vote ninety seven one of the freak signs, all right, and the locations he also listed them. It's so good, dear mister fun tweets. Here are the pictures of the signs that did already post them, but I didn't know. Okay, uh, these are the legit

good spots signs. I have one more sign left that will be sent your way, but the last is going to be a total radio bit and honestly one of those things that will have zero payoff. I will send it to it during your show today at nine am. Okay, you'll understand why the delay after I sent it I'm like, is he climbing a water tower? I don't know, Please don't. Now Here are the fore signed four places

you put him Danny might know. This is the l z odom Athletic Center in Arlington, the Belknap in Florence, and downtown at Fort Worth, a corner of one ninety eight twenty in Lakeworth. Hell yeah, and then right on three eighty next to the Shell gas station and Runaway Bay. Damn what to spread? He was spreading it, which is great. That's an eight fellow right there. There's been a lot of people discourse on line. People are like, well, I'm gonna go steal one. I'm like, don't

steal it. Take it if you want to take it from an election location and then repurpose it to another sure polling location. Now that's maximum reach. These signs are vote ninety seven won, the freak signs that we had made, we meaning Kevin, and we gave one hundred of them out to our listeners the other day, and we want people to just put them at their polling stations, put them in their yards like wherever. Yeah, take a picture, free setting. I thank you. And you've got four of them.

Four cool locations. Yes, also, and a fifth coming today in the last hour of our show. Any tease you this fifth location? Yes, and he says, oh, you'll see this one will not garner any new listeners, I assure, Oh, but my mind is open. Where is this going? I kind of have a feeling of where it might be going. Maybe near the American Airlines. Yeah, maybe on somebody's car. All that being said, there's no need to include me in the selection of

the winners. Just wants to do his part. I'm just happy to spread the word of this dumb station and be a part of it in some minuscule way. I would just monkey up the winter process. Number one, none of my darned friends would want to get up at four point thirty to drive to hang out his studio with me, and you offer four hours. I don't need the money. There are other people in way more need than me.

I would want you to just donate it to the Terrant Food Bank or a charity of the Downbeach Choosing or a car wash monthly pass for Danny Okay to take kid too. It's gonna end up tape to the windshield of a classic BMW over by American Airlines Midnight Blue three said, I would recommend to choose the tape. I would recommend to choose the hottest chicken her friends. Maybe Danny can find a date out of this. Okay, you should see the last picture by nine am. Hopefully, don't worry. It won't be

a dog pick or anything like that. Okay, there you go, all right, And a lot of people have post us all how many of you received so far? Photos. It's gonna be hard to track down because they're all kind of posting them at different places. I have seen on Twitter, quite a few on Twitter. Actually, a buddy of mine who works at a and it works at a music station. It's not an iHeart station, but he sent me a selfie yesterday with the sign of the background thumbs up.

Yeah. It was like a little sweet dude. He's wearing a jacket of the company that he works for, the big thing and that I was like, all right, he saw it. So people are seeing these things. I mean, it's not that different than people will post pictures of the billboards when they were up for one month and taken down, you know, but like, yeah, that's a little something. I don't know. I love it. If it helps. I don't know. I think theoretically does

help if a billboard helps. I mean, I wonder what the stats are on a billboard on like the toll way or billboard sales are very right now? Really, yes? Are you serious? Why do you know that? Because of politics? I have people who know things in that world and you feel like that, you know? I mean I I asked her to do a little research project for me on vague both of you today, I've got somebody that knows things. Okay, Hooker's secret people, Well tell it secret

people for secret men. People listening don't want secrets there truth, We want transparency. Well, yeah, I don't know. I told you what it is. You didn't. Billboards are crushing it. What do you want? And you know this because I know people on the end. So what did you have a guess as to what it costs to get a billboard a highly visible and how do the prices fluctuate? I don't know. I just know that they're doing well right now and people are buying them, They're snatching them

up. Why are you protecting the billboard deep throat and formant secret information about the success of billboards? Man, don't say deep throat, dude, you can say deep in this case, why not? I know what, let's activate damn it. I randomized. Danny, Mike and I played pickleball the other day. Yes, you did, and you know what I kind of in now you are, I'm gonna buy the stuff. You didn't see him all that passionate while we were playing. He's gonna buy the stuff. He

did seem happy. I had a beer in my hand and I just woke up from a nap. We did play pickleball with a I p A in our left hands. It was a half ours. Kevin is pathetic. Don't buy the stuff. I'm not gonna buy the sting. If you bought the stuff, this would end up in probably less than two weeks. It would

be the the bowflex of remote athletic equipment. Yeah, with all your winter clothing just sitting on top of a single pickleball paddle, you will be craigslisting the f out of that stuff in about a month if you buy it. You need this stuff, dude. You can't use the damn loaner racket, and you need the shorts and the shirt and the headband. There were four salespeople playing a highly competitive game two v two across the way from us and

yelling it was Alex that was out. Yeah, it was crazy, And meanwhile me and Mike beer in hand looked like the King of the Hill character. It's just kind of bop, just feeling it out and struggling to get a good volley going because it is nuts. How weird it is to adjust, Like you get used to playing table tennis. Easy tennis is pretty easy

to get a handle on. I found it difficult with that ball, the actual pickle balls espeically a whiffle ball, to gauge the the like how hard you hit it because you want to kind of keep it for a volleying situation. I was trying to keep it at Mike's waist level. You know. It was just kind of hard to do that, and it's windy, it was. It was challenge challenging thought. I was trying to gauge how hard

you could hit it and it still wouldn't go out. You could hit the damn thing really hard and it wouldn't go out the back over the back line. So it's oversized ping pong paddles and a whiffle ball, yes, basically miniature tennis and can the ball ever hit the ground like tennis? I think it's yeah, I think I think it's one hot Okay, it doesn't bounce more than about once anyway, can make it spin like crazy? Yeah, you could do good. I noticed back spin could be a big player.

It was, it was, it was fun. I have fun. I liked it. I can see how it's a nice little middle ground for I don't want to bust my ass playing tennis for an hour. It looks ideal too V two Oh yeah, then you don't barely have to do anything. Yeah, but like we invent sports is like I like that sport, but get anything far less taxing. Okay, this is good talking sport. I mean, look, if if table tennis can be an Olympic sport, this is like kind of elevated table tennis. And I think that it's so popular

that it could be a viable, legitimate sport. The problem is the name. It's hard to take something serious. Is that has the word pickle in it? Yeah, Kevin White pickle. I don't know why. I'll ask my Billboard friend that I live with. You're see, oh yeah, now it all comes together, uh fifty two million people. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to thirteen million people tried pickleball last year, thirteen million two, putting it behind soccer, baseball, tennis, and basketball, so nearly doubled up

flag football, doubled up softball. I mean what, I don't tried it or tried it, tried it, gave it. You're saying more people played pickleball in America than tennis last year. No, no, no, no, no, no, ten million less. But like it's catching up, and like when you look at the charts of all the sports like going that way, activities going sideways, pickleball is inclining to what you brought ben new

though for a few years you brought this up. When you know what sport that in my world is almost nonexistent is the beer league slow pitch softball, dude, that was going on everywhere in the seventies and eighties. Any any unused ballfield, little league field, or whatever was always filled with guys wearing matching shirts that looked like Dick Shale out there just slugging beers and flipping the ball up there at zero miles an hour. I mean, it's dying.

When I bet not dying, who's playing slow pitch softball. I think a lot of people. I think, when's the last time you saw one? I mean, I'm around enough parks in the city, driving around them, you know, and that have ball fields. I've never when's the last time you saw a bunch of middle aged dudes out there flinging a slow pitch up there? Well, I guess I don't. I'm not looking at Maybe I don't passh ale that many diamonds. Why don't we bring it back? We

start softball league? Slow pitch for men and women and women? Hello, we have the only person who we know. I don't know who's batting in the foe hole? How do you think our JJ? And JJ was a collegiate athlete played played softball right our game? She played fast pitch, like real, Yeah, I hate stool pitch, really I do. Can't you just mash the patient at the plate? It's slow pitch? I mean, then it's gotta be way easier. It's an adjustment. I don't think people

realize it's hard. It's an adjustment. Yeah, when you're used to facing sixty five to seventy mile an hour pitches and then you gotta go to a nice little rainbow float it's an adjustment. Dude. We played against were you in that? We played against the girls college fast pitch fast pitch softball team and we worked at our previous station. Yep, that was the pros. Huh. I remember that they did the home run derby, right, uh? I don't know. We played a game again. It was a home

run derby and that was those that was the professional softball team. Well, it wasn't harme. We played a real game. Oh yeah, yeah in the ticket against It was a collegiate team, I thought, and I played catcher. Oh my god, these girls wing that thing. It was so scary. We won too, Did we win? Yeah? And it was close, yep we won. Those are victory from white men. Yeah, white middle aged men and something good and JJ, you can speak to this.

Isn't it true that because of the distance from the mound to the plate, that if you extrapolated or do the physics of it, that it looks like a like a ninety six mile an hour fastball. Yeah, it's only sixty five something like that from your mound to the plate. Yeah, yeah, ninety eight Okay, Yeah, I knew that. The gun says sixty five, but the equivalent because of the distance, it looks like a ninety eight mile an hour fastball. Yeah, well, don't we have like Jenny

Finch and Kat Osterman like ringing up Albert pooholes or something? We have? Oh yeah, the example viral videos out there of baseball players facing some of our olympians. If you were if you were fielding a softball team and we were the only three draft candidates, what order would you pick us in? And what kind of game do you think? I just have you'all flip a

coin. We just pick out the hat and somebody says, jump. I've never seen Kevin play baseball, but he looks like he can mash or any yelling any varsity teams in high school, I was just football and basketball and track. In what position did you play again? Third base? Okay, so you played varsity baseball player. Do you a favor first? First team? Last? Trust me? First team? Suck at baseball? First team, no big deal deal? First team? What district ponies? A district

j's in his district? Do you have a trophy? No trophy patch on my letter jacket. A scarecrow in the outfield and they put a hat on him and he actually played a scarecrow in the old district. I'm sitting right here. This is the easiest decision of your life. He's gonna make me dig up clips during Yeah, of course, what did you play football? Okay, golf? Well he played Kevin played varsity Donkey baseball. How don't

discount. That's like discounting your state championship. Then if you're gonna I didn't play in the game, you can discount at all you want. But he ran out on the field video it's on his Twitter bio state champion. But you were a big supporter, Danny. You're a big supporter of the team, so he mattered. I crushed in the regular season. I was a sophomore. There was no way I was gonna play in the playoffs. I

was that was wasn't that good? We were so good that the B team got to play a lot because we were always up like forty eight to nothing at half. Let's have anyone who's a state champion text in today two on four seven, eight, seven, one nine seven one, tell us what year, what sport, and your contribution if it was less than Danny Bayless's, that's even funnier. If you want a legit State Championship. Yes,

today's your day. February twenty ninth Leap Day, Leap Day, and coming up next we'll tell you a little more about Leap Day, why is it so special, and where you can get some discounts on a lot of food. Next to ninety seven won the free

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