The Opener: February 20, 2024 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: February 20, 2024

Feb 20, 202426 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Tuesday February 20th, 2024, featuring the news of the death of another adult film star

Transcript

Tuesday, two twenty. How's everyone doing. Let's get it on. We're at a party today, Part two of the presidential explosion coming at you. At nine yesterday we learned the fifteenth president, James Buchanan, might have been a gay man. What other fun facts will you find out? At nine o'clock today? Eight thirty The daytona downbeat. What a night last night in Great America at the Great America's Race? What right race? Great American Race? Soft car racing. Yeah, well that night, it was a night.

I spent four or five hours with the NASCAR yesterday and it was awesome. Okay, it was great to have on a weeknight. It was absolutely awesome, And the fact that we were invested in it to a certain degree made it even so much better. I understand why everybody gambles, because it

definitely adds a real serious connection to what you're watching. The list of who we all had, and then checking the damn scoreboard, and unlike like Formula one or other disciplines of racing, it doesn't they don't fluctuate like this. But your guy can be in twenty eighth and the next thing you know, he's in the top ten. It happens fast. When those pit changes happen, you knew that stuff was happening too. In the last hour, you

always know that it's going to ramp up. People are getting aggressive and making moves. It's kind of just like, as long as you don't get in a wreck in the first four hours of the race, you're good, especially if you're like an established team and driver like I had Kezilowski and you had Blaney, both great and they were in the late twenties, you know, with twenty five laps to go, and I'm like, it doesn't matter, it's fine. They know what they're doing. They got this thing gassed up

and timed out. They know how to peak late. And even if you're pinned in the back of the field, doesn't matter. You're cool if you if you have a good team. Now, if you have a no name and you're in the middle of the back of the field, you're in trouble. And in one Gibbs I'm just kidding it, and in one fell swoop, the entire new line of Forward production models gets eliminated. Do you believe that it's funny? I think I mean not that it was. It wasn't

much of a call. I mean, you know it's coming, but I text you guys, I'm like, the big one is incoming or the big one is imminent and before our responses, you know, like within a minute. At one three, I think that's seven or eight. Yeah, seven laps to go, right, Yeah, well I'm at one hundred and ninety three miles an hour. But also, yeah, it's just chaos. I couldn't drive with those guys because I hate tailgaters. Oh my god, yours so much tailgating in that race. Tailgating. I don't think, hey,

get off my ass. Isn't there like a three second rule to make a safe stop now you're supposed to adhere to on the road. It's funny they just completely ignore that rule. They get to about the leaders like throttling down and just kind of like slowing things down a little bit. Yeah, when they need to maybe save a little gas or whatever. Uh. But really, I think the highlight of that segment might actually tell us a little bit

about the winter. It's a little bit of an interesting story. Yeah, but we've got to make a phone call to Pennsylvania in that segment as well, to Ron Gilligan. If you don't know who Ron Gilligan is. That means you missed yesterday's show, which we were on the air. I saw some numb nuts on the internet saying that we weren't on the air, and I just want to tell that guy to go to well. It's just an

honest mistake he made. I think. I don't think they send him to an eternity of hell, fire and damnation because to Dante's ninety missed Monday's President's Day Show. I'm just saying, don't go bitch about something online. If you don't know what you're talking about. I think you get a little worked up to people bitching. Yeah, you do misinformed. It's fine because I see some of it and I hear your reactions to it. It was one guy who was like, oh, speakeas's off. What's this basketball? It's

not an idea now. He said the downbeats off, and I take offense to that. He might have misspoke. Remember the downbeat used to be in afternoons. He probably got confused. You know what, sir, don't go to hell. No, that means he hadn't listened. He hadn't listened in seven months, and then he's a worse person. Because of that. I know you're listening to what Kevin's saying right now, but let me speak independently

here. Not only do I not want you to go directly to Hell and burn with Satan in the Lake of Fire and the River Styx, I open my arms and embrace you and welcome you back. I just I'm tired of picking up everyone's dog poop. You know what I'm saying. Listen to the show people now, you can't yell at them. He's a casual listener. Yeah, he may have if he called our show the speake's here there after each other down be it's quite, it's cool, it's casual. He didn't

know. See, this is the problem that you're run into when you work with someone who's never wrong, true, but who's often wrong a lot proven regularly. I don't know who's going to do well the it's one of five hundred, that's a pat in the prediction. That's not that'd be the most immediate thing I predict of. That's not like, that's just gambling. That's not, but it's still right or wrong. I'm wrong often when it comes to gambling. God, I lost to my NASCAR DraftKings team as well.

But I should have let our part time aboard a Garrett money and on Garrett Wood, on that Garrett money. Garrett would and on that because he's a NASCAR nut job apparently like he's he loves racing, he loves racing, he's a good American like me. Should let him fill out my DraftKings team and make a little money. Uh is Jerry going to have to put his DNA in a cup? Seven thirty? Do you have the answer? Not yet? Seven thirty's got an hour and a half to figure it out. Let

me call the judge. Oh yeah, well, I was finishing, my Ron Gilligan thought, the guy who Siroyt signed a pit pass with Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt walked up up to him. How old are you at that time? Fifteen? No? Well, high school thirteen fourteeneen, teenager hitting puberty, just now having his first dreams of lust. Yeah. The image of uh, what's her name? Lily tom Tomlin dancing in my head. Had recently watched nine to five, and instead of Dolly or Jane entering his

brain, he got Lily. Yeah, I fixated on the gettable one in my head. Dolly and Jane that has served you well in life, right, which is just so wild to us that somehow you ended up where you are now. Yeah yeah, third best get what I am for? Uh yeah, it's a string of Lily Thomlins until he met Christine, I know he was. Then he got the Golden Eagle. Wow, of course no. I it's not like he's scheduled either. We don't even know Ron Gilligan's gonna answer no, no, but we feel like he will. But it

is funny. I've been telling that story since circu days. It's it's funny, you know, it's interesting, you know, especially we found a guy on the internet yesterday. Yeah, and then his company answered the phone. He just only talks to people by appointment, like I'm not to about ten people. This is actually very interesting. I mean, I think if we tell the story, it's it's pretty interesting to anyone here and it live.

But like one guy texted in yesterday, oh my god, they found n Gillig, like he's been invested in the Ron Gilligan story for twenty years. People want to know. I'm worried. Okay, let me there's a maybe a three percent, two or three percent chance that I gave it to somebody else that I worked at that golf club with, and not Ron Gilligan. Well, I'm just this is what I was concerned about last night. But I'm I'm then I'm like, no, it was definitely him. Who did

you give it to? Greg Simpson? What are their normal names? Let me tell you. Let me tell you only because I happen to know you guys have nothing planned for the remaining twenty minutes. I actually something you do. Oh yeah, is it good? Yeah? Oh no, it's the porn thing that's not that good. Wells in peace. So this ten seconds, I got a pit passign by Daleerenheart and the original Dalearenhart and Richard Petty and gave it to a coworker minded a golf course I worked at in Sarasota.

His name is Ron Gilligan. He said he liked NASCAR. These are his two favorite drivers, Like, oh sure, let me see if I can help you out, and now that thing is quite valuable and whatever. But I still don't even regret giving it to him. I think he was very happy at the time. And we've tracked the guy down and we called yesterday to his office and he was it was the right one the right guy. He would have been there had he not been out on an appointment.

But he's supposed to be back today in office, so we're gonna call him today. And I don't know, see if you were miss chance, he doesn't remember, you know, might have not been significant him. I don't think either of those are the case. I'm ninety eight percent it was him. I can't imagine him not remember owning, even for a short period of time of something that unique, right, Yeah, But anyway, the course we worked that was called Laurel Oak Country Club. I swear, I think

you'll find this interesting two minutes from now, carry on. So the nice golf course one of my first jobs. One of the members there was a young woman named Monica Sellis. Oh wow, the tennis legend stabbed the stabbed on court by some German dude walked up and stabbed her in the back of the neck while she was sitting in her chair between between games or sets. Anyway, she had a big house at the end of the driving range. I never even saw her, but in the clubhouse there was like some of

her rackets. I mean, they're proud to have her as a member, and it was cool you get see your house. Oh my god, this is when it was her Stuffie Graff, you know, like Chris Martina hingis like these girls dominated tennis. I mean she was there were no names. Oh one of them arguably one of the biggest female athletes on the planet and a big athlete. We don't have that in women's tennis anymore, do we. I mean once the Williams is Kaitlyn Clark right now, yeah, Kaitlyn

Clark. But that's fair. It was like back then you could name off the top of your head, could list like ten ladies. Yeah that were world famous. And Kaitlyn Clark is very domestic, yeah not international. Oh yeah. But anyway, Monica Sella's had a golf bag in you know, we take care of all the members' bags, and it was cool to see her name on the tag. I was like, that's Monica Sella's a golf

bag. She never once played golf again, never saw her, but you'd see the see your bag, and she had have golf, golf and stuff. Anyway, There's this real old guy named Aubrey who worked there and he had a wooden chair, right, and Aubrey hated me because I was a complete smart ass high school kid and didn't. Yeah, no, I believe it or not, big pain in the ass. And I was sitting in a in Aubrey, who already hated me, in Aubrey's wooden chair, leaning

back like it wasn't fit to handle my power or weight. The moment that the Orlando Magic won the NBA Draft for the rights to get shack, and I was so excited I kicked back on the chair and his wooden chair disintegrated underneath me. Okay, and Aubrey because we got shack. And I remember screaming, we got shack. The little Magic have shack. And I was so excited I disintegrated Aubrey's chair and he was so mad at me that I

disintegrated his wooden chair, and he had already hated me. He told the assistant pro that I stole Monica Selas's golf clubs and that's what got me fired from Laurrelo Country Club. You're kidding never to see Ron Gilligan again? So hell so he just flat out lied. You gotta ask Ron Gilligan when we talked to him. Okay, we can ask a few members Aubrey that well, because Okay, so like, no investigation, no no evidence. You're the cart kids that you turn and burn him anyway, It doesn't matter.

We took Monica Selis's golf clubs and sold them so much, and I'm like, they're not even gone right missing. It may have been stealing balls out of Monica Selis's golf bag. It yeah, that old boy that butt smashed machure. It brought my check hair. He stole Monica Shelis's golf ball. I think he was putting them up his behind. He's a weird fellow that that Mickey brother ain't no better all because of Shack, because of Magic got Shack. That a twisted tail. That is a twisted tail is I'm on

the Laurel Oak website too, and all beautiful, isn't it? It is looking really nice. Just think, if Shack had not been drafted by the Magic, you could still have your job. I could still work there and with Ron, or I could work at Ron Gilligan Auctions. That one moment in life changed your trajectory forever. It's called the butterfly effect, Franky. It is the butterfly fact. And that's I find it infinitely interesting that ping

pong ball popped up Houston Rockets instead of the Orlando Magic. Yes, just think you might owe your illustrious radio career to one Aubrey, who's in no way still with us. Oh no, I passed on pre No. I live in hill down here with that listener KBO was mentioning earlier because I lied about the seller's golf back. I shouldn't have done that, man, I'd love to get around of eighteen in there. This place looks nice. Well. They wouldn't let us play very often, so I didn't mind getting fired.

Went right across the street and got a job at bent Tree. Worked there for years. Did they vet you No, I said I'd never worked at a golf club before. Yeah, but there was a later on he got fired for lying, lying, and that started that illustrious career there was and stealing the tennis racket of STEFFI grad Across the street oftvent Tree, there was an old African American du named Willy who ran the cart barn. I'm not doing any impressions of Willy. Here's Danny Billis now. Willy loved me.

He thought I was funny. Willie might sound a lot like Aubrey if I were to do. But yeah, but Willy got mad at me one day because it was a Sunday of a major and I was cheering for Ernie Els. You know, I don't know anything. Oh, we don't cheer for the Assies. He's not an Aussie. Oh he's not. No, what is he? Because Willie I remember him saying, quit cheering for that South African mother f And I'm like, I don't know what that means,

Willie. I don't even know what South Africa is. Apartheid thoughts of Mandela apartheid. Well, there's white Mike, he's cracker. When will he taught me a lot? Oh? No, I bet Willie could roll a joint with one hand. He could roll a golf ball with a putter. I'll tell you that. Yeah, Old Willie rest in peace. Sorry, also dead, or I have an auctioneering company, or Willie's got to be in heaven by Gotta find Willie. Now you're not finding will really soaring with the

angels. It's right, you need to find the ghost of your past forever, dude, this is your life. Management would love that. God. I was listening today and you guys had on some ghosts. What's that about? No one. No Sarasota radio dials across the thew just turning off when they hearded the ghosts. It is. It is true. Doing Sarasota radio questionable. But if you incorporate shack shack, you know Madela the news because they dunked on him, you know that's over him. They jumped over exactly

topical Zach and Shaq lives around here. It all makes sense. Okay, we're gonna tell you about a new plane at six thirty. It's like twenty minutes away. The concord might be coming back, my friends. No, it's not not the real concord, not the real one. I think decommission that mint Knows experiment years ago. They figured out a workaround. Perhaps they've so had some testing to do. I thought we're closer than we've never been. Dudeff, this story is real, which I think it is a real

story. But if this actually manifests, you know, it's plain becomes something that is available commercially. Wow. I can't wait to hear Kevin tell this story. And just what twenty minutes I don't miss twenty minutes from right now blow your mind and the sound barrier truly Yeah, some guys. So when I was ten, I gave my mailman a Willie May's Rookie Gold card because he collected them. I have no idea how much it's worth, nor do I care to look. It's true, you know, but that shows the

innocence of youth. Sure me. And this this fellow with a two one four phone number. Yeah, kindness out of your heart because I know this. I mean a lot to this person. You know, I'm thinking about what the future value. Yeah, you weren't thinking about how you could benefit from the autograph of Richard Petty and Neil Earnhardt. No, and when I had all of the original Star Wars characters action figures in nineteen seventy eight or whatever that was, I didn't think, you know what, it'd be a

great idea. What And by the way, what eight year old or nine year old is thinking what I should do is put these in vacuum sealed bags and save them for fifty years about this. No, what you should do is, hey, what if I don't What if I don't unbox it? Yeah, because that's the real key. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Value if you never take it out of the box. Yes, unopened and toy seal them. And you know better than I do, because you know,

you and cash are all dug in with the collectible network. Is that the best way to preserve them? You put them in like a zip lock and get all the air out of it, because air is in water is what damages those things, right like collectible toys. Yeah, well so if they're still new and sealed in the original box is the But if you just throw the box in a garage, it's going to deteriorate it. You want to preserve the boxes almost as much as the content. Doing that, he's

not ripping the thing out. I mean, that's why they're valuable, is because they all get ripped open. To me, so I don't know about preserving the box separately and then reputting it in. But why didn't I just got by two and play with one and then put the rest in bags and

then store them. Was I had all that stuff? But no, Luke Skywalker ended up getting his lightsaber chewed off, probably by me, and then when I realized the lightsaber didn't come out of his arm anymore, then he succumbed to the rest of my action figures, which was typically in a fire of a gasoline and eighties. Yeah, terrible way to go after they'd banged Barbie. After he's sixty nine, Lea. I was too young to know what any of that was that came later. He still knew that they fit

curiously well when inverted they locked together. No, I curiously well, speaking of sixty nine, when we have a famous death that occurred last night, Kevin, Oh, we did. I just actually linked it into the article. When you get when you said the text that I just read the article here you had, Yeah, we've lost our second one of twenty twenty four, our second notable one of twenty twenty four in the world of porno. Cagney Carter dead at the age of thirty six, son of a bitch,

the Great Cagney Lynn Carter. The early indications are suicide, which is tough. No, she's from Houston. I discovered that she got her start working as a waitress at I'm Skin restaurant. She's just slinging chips and dips and margaritas for people, and then she got a job dancing. And that's how you kind of get out of the service industry. Well, that's how you get out of the food industry. You start dancing, no, but okay, well a little bit. Her first scene was with Johnny Sins. Johnny,

since you guys know Johnny Sins. Yeah, Danny, Mikey. She got in the game in two thousand and eight. Johnny Sins is the incredibly a memorable male porn star, the one who every like Veterans Day or whatever, they post a picture of thank you to our service man, it's him in like a Camo outfit. And then if someone wants to thank our doctors and first responders, it's him and a doctor outfit. This guy ten, I didn't realize that was him. Actually that's Mikey likes him because he's bald.

Yeah, I prefer his work. Yeah, it's more realistic. I mean that could be me. Is he the most? The most is the one for thank you to our veteran? Oh my god, I always put the big yeah all right, JJ. Sorry. They sent the they sent the production designer to the Army Navy store that day. He's like a forty two long. It's like, we got sixty bucks for this whole thing. This ain't no pirates is Evan Stone to me, he was the most practical

one growing up, but I'm also from a different generation. Then. The most popular one was probably Ron Jeremy still because of his name, well John Holmes, probably Simon nor John Holmes. I don't know who's on Peter North or Ron Jeremy on the name recognition list. He was like very He was a pop culture reference and he kind of crossed over in a mainstream with like reality TV and in its earliest form and stuff like that. Right, what

a trash human? Yeah, garbage. Remember at the old station, he came up for some nighttime show with this dude named Richard, Yeah, rich Big Dick Hunter's Wild Ass Circus, And apparently Richard claims that he wanted food, and then they went to Chipotle, and Richard said that he watched him eat two of the most overstuffed burritos that you've ever seen in your life. Yeah, to the point where they have to use like they try to wrap the first one and there's so much crap in at the tortilla break, so

they have to get another tortilla so it's double wrapped. He ate two of them. Gosh, I eat like half of one and fling the rest out of the window for the birds. Yeah, nowadays Chipotle is a two mealer. Yeah, eat half wrap it. He eat two of them and he said they had everything, like all of the meats. Oh god, It's like when Rob Ryan ate the two Jersey Mike. On one flight, I saw Ron Jeremy. I went to the convention center, the porn Festival A

or something there. No, it wasn't the AVI and Awards, but it was some one of their cons you know, Porn Gone, Yeah, Porn con. That was a big deal in the city actually because the city officials trying to shut it down. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. And we had uh Augie Little Austin. He was our correspondent and we sent him. He's, you know, diminutive kid and real quirky, and we'd have him go ask weird questions of porn stars and then we come pile it into

a twelve minute audio bait. It was great. Twelve minutes yeah, wow, Yeah, just a whole whatever. They had him buckled into a thing. We tried to get him to ride the cyby and there's like all this it's interactive fun at the porn convention. Yeah, but Ron Jeremy was there. I just remember he's on neurotic and trying to get on his phone, probably trying to order chripotelet sits still. I'm like, this dude is weird and he is tiny height wise and just a greasy man. Ye did did

he die? No jail? Yeah, I know he's in jail for multiple yeah break charges. Well RP to Cagney Carter, the star I've not married with the children triple x. Oh. She also won many awards Yeah, Best New Starlet in twenty ten, Best pov Seen twenty ten, Best Boobs twenty fourteen, Best Boobs twenty eighteen, in Night Moves four years later, So she did good. She was in. Also she won Best an Old Scene, Jesus Kevin ke Heaven and Prince the Penetrator twenty twelve. That was

the Urban X Award. So seven wins, thirty seven nominations, thirty six years on this planet, Cagney Carter killed herself, thirty six wrest in Power, Young Queen Coming up next? Could international flights to Europe be oh? No? Four hours New Technology and details next to ninety seven one The Free

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