The Opener: December 15, 2023 - podcast episode cover

The Opener: December 15, 2023

Dec 15, 202329 min
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Episode description

Here's the opening segment for Friday December 15th, including a listen to Strip Mall Steve's incredible new Christmas song

Transcript

Good morning, learning morning people. You're listening to ninety seven Freak FM one. This is a Frucus and Melay show. We will get you ready for Christmas holiday with Steroid TC Live Weightlifting and Amos Bleach. I have run out of material. Oh, Fracus, you get me every time. It's fun to do bad thing. Good morning, Kevin, Good morning Fracus. We're Fracas and Melea mornings here on the freaking Okay, Happy Friday, everyone, Rain's coming. Gear up, Rain is on the way, they're telling us.

Boy in the fake Young Rodney Dangerfield is excited on Channel five. Are you talking about Grant Johnston of NBC five. Yes, look out Arlington seven forty six am. It's coming. You're gonna get wet Arlington, wetter than you've ever been, like the northern part of the METROPLEXA. It's gonna catch the most of this rain. It always happens that way. Kevoh does that work like that? I don't know why is it always when there's tornado warnings

in effect, they always affect Wise County? Yeah? Wise County is a love you know. I'm seeing that at ten am you could expect a one hundred percent chance of rain. That is a bold, scorching hot prediction from meteorologist in this town at a ten am. If it is not rainy at ten am, I'm gonna be pissed and I will lose trust. This is correct, trunks A. You won't believe the rain that's coming to Arlington. Oh, why he'scunnie. They don't get any respect. He does look like

Rodney Dangerfield. You know he does. And when Rodney first started going on Parson, Yeah, I mean he's got He didn't have like the crazy eye that Rodney had. Right, Maybe he does actually literally just see a side view, I really just see half of his face as they look at the monitor to try to tell us what's going on with the weather. So ten am, one hundred percent chance of rain. Don't you just make that ninety percent just so you have a little bit of room. Yeah, and you

never see him in like five percent. It's remember like ninety five percent. It's always in increments of ten. It's ah, do we need the rain? Yeah? Of course we do? Right? Why not? I was actually mowed my ard yesterday, which is the weird December middle of December yard mow because my grass is growing now it didn't grow as and uh, I was sitting just walking into my yard and going, man, that's a very pretty unbalanced foundation. After a summer of them no water. It's like,

I'm not gonna fall in a hole. Here, my god. Do you have the old fifties cylinder blade lawnmower that you just push? It feels like it's a times it's really it's good enough. Though. I didn't have to go buy a new one. It was a gift or it was a get rid of from someone in the family. And my brother's like, I got it. I got a new one. You can have my old one, and it gets the job done for what I need to get done. Say, hey, that's the big story today. It's gonna rain now, Danny

get it. I will say that in about fifteen now, about ten minutes or so, we'll invite someone on the phone at two one four or eight one seven seven, eight seven one ninety seven to one if they want a triple header of college basketball tickets tomorrow. Only if you'll want that, call in and we'll play a fun game of whire you up, Big Cowboys. Bill's prediction today. But the thing I'm looking forward to most today is at nine o'clock. It's the Mike Siroy performance review. Has he agreed to zoom

in? I don't know. I had, you mean, you don't know a little correspondence with him last night, and I'll leave it at that. So he's back. They went to the MAVs game, I think, really well, I don't know if he did. I saw Christina had posted pictures in the MAVs game. Unless she was posting old pictures from the MAVs game. Is MAVs lost to t Wolves last night? The first half technical foul

for Luca again, we'll talk about that at seven. I think the refs have it out for him, and I think they're trying to shut him up by like, look, the first time you can plain technical and then you gotta not be up our butt all night. I hate they're issuing the warning very quickly, and the warning has escalated to a technical. I mean, it's not a bad it's not a bad strategy. If you don't want to deal with his jawing all night long. No, man, my god,

I was like, he can't, but he can't help it. It's going to happen. I mean, I wonder if they're telling him that before the game because he he's got pretty good like off court report with those guys. I think he always has. Yeah, yeah, that'd be something if say, look, Luca, the first time you get out of line, we're gonna hit you because we don't want to hear it all night. Man.

Well, you know, there's a couple of things I can't believe. It's a little bit of our sports segment will be about at seven today, But Michael Parson's complaining about it NFL officiating and then Luca and the referee last NTNBA game was interviewed and explained why he teed up Luca. I personally disagree with it, but I totally understand it if I was the ref of why I would do it. Because it's every night. So that's at seven, that's a seven. This is your last show of the year, it is I'll

be back on jan two. Well, I mean you've only got two more, y Yes, So what's the calendar look like here? January two is a Is it Tuesday? I don't know, Yeah, I think so it's a Tuesday. Yeah. New Year's Day is on the first. Yeah. So we come back, all of us come back full strength to work a four day work week. Hell yeah, hell yeah cocaine. The uh So, Christmas Eve is Sunday, the twenty fourth. Correct The Cowboys play in

Miami at three twenty five on Christmas Eve. Wow, okay, Well it'd be fun to just blow up any Christmas plans and just fly off to Miami and watch the Cowboys and Dolphin. Is Mikey already going to be out there? I don't know. I bet he goes. If he's out there for to go see his mamma, I bet I bet he goes. Nobody finds a way in anytime you or him are gone for a few days. I always have like seven to ten questions for you, and loosely you can always

text me not quite a twelve pack. I'll answer any questions you have while I'm on break. I'm not going anywhere. I don't like to bother people too. Like you know, Kevin, you're my friend. You're not a bother. It's not like my phone just goes dead for two weeks I don't hear from anybody. We're more than coworkers, we're buds. I guess I've been made to feel like I'm bothering everyone. By the way, people have treated me my entire life. Well, you know what, they're just a

tired of me or annoying. Let me tell you something. We have this discussion with Chris Jericho the other day when people when people come at you like that, it's about them, not you. Yeah right. What they do is they see the qualities in you that they're envious of. They wish that they had your your your RAPEI or quick wit. They wish that they had your work ethic. Yeah, you know. So what they do is they try to tear you down and make you feel lesser than because somehow that that

serves them. It's a form of gas lighting. I guess, yeah, it's it's you know what I'm it's gas lighting adjacent I guess like adjacent we have it's six thirty some news that's like, uh, you know it's a it's downer news, but it's you know, it's something you should listen to. Uh so that's coming at six thirty. No, we have a fun show today. Don't mean you're wrong, dude. Some wild stories in the scuttle about at seven thirty. Man, I got a bunch of wild ass

stories for uh. We may have a little crossover which is fine because I've got a big plate of Dingu's morning news stories and so and a shocking Christmas joke. Yes, and you know you were giving me the stuff that didn't that was left on the cutting room floor right before the show. And I don't love it. I love it. He loves it, folks, including the one about the very quiet house. So I want to hear that joke done in Trump voice. It was the night before Christmas and all through the

house that a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. I should have bought a carbon monoxide alarm because everyone's dead. Sleepy Joe, you never know is he asleep? Where is he dead? Riding the sanctimonious dead? But get ready to god, I don't know when it wants it. And we're not gonna talk in depth about this at all, but gear up because the next month it's on this where it it starts, and they're gonna hit you with this over the Christmas holidays. No election stuff, Yes, Trump versus

Biden. The news is gonna start coming out and this is where it's just it's gonna start up and the reality is about to set in with the world. Haven't we spent enough time with both of these entities that the what do they call it, like when it's late in the election year, the September reveal or whatever it's called, when they have the big oh, five fun facts you didn't know about Sleepy Joe, and don't we already know everything about

them? That nothing's gonna be shocking if it's if they try to report something like that. I don't know that it's even like reports that will come out. It's just about I think, because I do. You think there's a big portion of America that's just ignorant to anything that's going on. There's a ton of people who just avoid it. There's a ton of people that are just numb to it, all numb to it, all of the above.

But the reality is we are getting a rematch of two eighty year olds and that is going to be the story from January to November of next year. Like it's gonna happen, and it's you're about to get hit over the head with it over Christmas, I promise, just like you're getting hit over the head with it now and you didn't ask for that, and I apologize. I'm the most fired up for a Cowboys game I think I've been in twenty years. Is it because you have no idea what to expect? Buffalo is

kind of like kind of fun to Yeah. First of all, yes, coin toss game plus going to Buffalo something we never do, and then the next week going to Miami something we never do. Fun though, yea. And for me personally, there's gonna be three Cowboys games that happen. Well, I am not here crazy. Yeah, it's always weird, and I guess it was weirder when you and I were in the quote unquote sports talk industry. We're the most important games of the year. You wouldn't be at

work on the next day. Yeah, right, and you're like, oh, okay, like we'll come back from vacation and they'll play their final game that that weekend, and then well and that game hasn't meant anything to them in a long time, and might Week eight Team Mike this year. Yeah. But and then you get if the playoffs and it's over real quick. It's it's a lot to ask to expect or think that the Cowboys will went out considering you know, their next two opponents, maybe three, But you

do have that hope. The way that Philadelphia has kind of been playing as of late, that their Arizona will come late in the season, that they'll get stung by a ding doll or a ding goo. Yeah it could, and that ding dong could be Tommy DeVito, God of the Giants. Yeah, that get That Italian family is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. They're all doing chefs kiss kissing each other on the cheek. I mean it's the sopranos. Yeah, kind of cool. But they even had the priest

that Carmela was uh was banging. She's ever banged him? Well, it was an intimate experience. She fancied. Yeah, the priest, She fancied the priest. Folk show. He was staying late, like all day. They were watching movies and eating popcorn and stuffing yoga weird stretches in the living and meditating really, but meditating and yoga one of the same. To me. It's just me. Okay, let's do this two one four eight one seven seven eight seven one seven one Did anyone call in JJ? Does anyone

want a triple header college basketball tickets tomorrow? I got him for you. Texas Tech TCU UTA, they're all playing tomorrow. You could go for free and for worth at the beautiful Dickey's Arena. It'd be amazing. Be an excuse if you've never been to Dickies just to go for nothing. Check it out and you get to see a high level Texas basketball, Texas college basketball, great Texas Tech Red Raiders, Danny, They're good seven and two or

something. How do you even know that Texas Tech fan? Bro outside of my un t allegiance, I'm Texas Tech fan. Like, because your fiance went there? Yeah, my brother and all his friends. My brother didn't go there either, but his friends did, so we kind of have a good It's a clever little friend group of five or six or seven people who are like, why is it growing in the same direction? Why is it if you grow up west of Weatherford everybody goes to tech? Dude? Ben

went to Tech? Is that weird? Ben? I had no idea Ben was a tech guy. We went to Tech and then you know, transferred, didn't he Yeah, he didn't make it out there, but uh, you know it's tough for Ben to follow. I think a schedule in the regimen at that age just skin went to Austin and blew that. Yeah, but he went back later and got his degree there. Yeah. No, well no, he and Ben didn't he? He and Ben both ended up at un t Oh wow, I thought Skin actually finished it at Austin.

You and t where you go to get your degree after you fail elsewhere after you fail out of ut Huh? Anyone? JJ is still nothing. Nobody wants to go these people? Oh we got someone. Now. Look, you don't get the tickets unless you participate in the game. Why are you up? Yeah, it's a fun it's a fun parlor game that the whole family could play. Tradition like none other. Tony all right, who we having cocaine? All right? Hi? What's your name? Brad? Brad?

Where are you calling from? Uh? Driving to prosper Okay, Brad, before we get into your personal life and dig into some deep details, are you actually going to use these tickets if I give him to you? Yeah, my kid goes to Tech. He's a freshman there. Perfect, This is this is what we wanted. So why do we do this? And your kid will be in town right for the holidays. Yeah, he's here. That's awesome. Awesome. Where did you? Uh? Did you

guys? Did he grow up here in the metroplex or did you guys live out Well he went to No, he went to fire Mountain High School. Okay, what are you driving to prosper for this morning? Picking up a ford? No, going to see a sit by a girl at six in the morning. You gotta drive. It's early, dude. What have you been up all night doing horny text days going? No, half the day's going I mean technically a quarter of it, but yes, what time? What time do you for? What do you do for a living? I'm

a nurse. Oh you got crazy hours? Huh, Well, I'm not that kind of nurse anymore. I kind of got a sweet gig where I just drive around nursing doing nursing stuff. Oh so you're starting to you're going to see about a girl due to her health. Yeah. Oh, it made it sound like you were responding to a booty call or something. Not a booty call. Okay, look I've done it before six in the morning. Like, yeah, screw and I'll come over. What the hell? Why not? Like I said, half the day's nearly going, get it

done. She can have those tingly feels all day at work. I hear that. I hear that. The female orgasm is a little different than the males, like it leaves them with crazy feelings and I don't know, you know what I'm saying, Like, keep going, Kevin, No, there's no control. A little bit better than we can. Kevin, tell us more about the female orgasm. Well, for us, I would assume I'm a sexual, so it's hard for me to know, but I would assume

it's just kind of a you know, one two bam. And for them, after the act, whatever happens, they're left with twenty four to forty eight hours of really just this euphoric feeling in their body as if they'd gotten a massage over the last couple of days. Well, they say the pigs orgasm could last up to thirty minutes a pig. It's just science. That is science. From Brad, Well, we've learned a lot. Will you do with my personal nurse? Now happens? I've heard you guys are up.

I'm as we'll join you. So all right, Hell Brad, we're gonna give you tickets to the US LBM Coast to Coast Challenge at Dicky's Arena. That's tomorrow. Tickets and more info at Dicky's Arena dot com. If anyone out there wants to jump on board of that. Thank you. They give us five pair of tickets this week, and we appreciate them doing that. How's your kid doing out at Tech? Uh? First semester not too bad. Yeah, it's past everything, So the money didn't go down the

toilet. Man, that's as a parent that has got to be a really good feeling because it's that first semester. You just kind of cross your fingers. Yeah, you just you never know. Yeah. I ended up on interscholastic probation after my first semester and dropped out. Well for everybody, Brad, will you put me through college? I love it. I think Brad seems like a nice guy and he's out there doing good work, an important job. What are you doing right now giving away college basketball tickets? That's

about it. That's the best thing, the most noble thing I'll do today. Hey, there's value there too for your son and whoever he takes to the game tomorrow. Yeah, he's got a gaggle misfits that are eating for Christmas. I'm sure he'll load them up and go. Dude, isn't that the worst? When the kid brings home the gaggle of misfits and they just infiltrate your home and start ransacking the cabinets looking for food. That, oh my god, that's all they want to do is eat all the food.

Seriously, this visit from your kid and his ding dong knucklehead friends from Lubbock, that's going to cost you at least two grand just in groceries. Yeah, he's a bottomless pit, that's for sure. And the rest of our don't fall fall from the tree either, so it is a grocery bill for sure. Well, Brad, stay on hold j J. I'll get your information and your kid can go see three college basketball games tomorrow at Dicky's Arena. What a lucky boy, including huge Texas Tech game. All right,

have a great holiday, bro, You did the same. That's Brad out there nursing them back to health in the Metroplex this morning. We appreciate that. How about that. I did not see it coming that it would end up that way. I thought it was he said, I'm heading over to see about a girl at six in the morning. Brad, You naughty boy. Someone's been naughty this Christmas. Brad's gonna get coal in his stocking. I want to play something here because yesterday on the Bit and Skin Show,

amazing things happen, including Mosquito in the Hulk for an hour. But this is strip mall Steve. No strip mall Steve. You know he's got a background in music production and things like that, but he has really making music. But I every year do an annual celebrity death song in which every single year I leave out people like this year, leaving out Hector Salamanca, Angus

Cloud and one of my favorite songwriters of all time, Charlie Robinson. I mean, dude, I and I do this every year and I kick myself in the nuts for it. And it's not because you forget. You can only get so many people into the tune and the you gotta make it rhyme and make it funny. It's it's relatively quick. It's an undertaking man.

Well this is because I forgot though on those three. But well, Steve, I throw him a lifeline and he kicks it right back and says, I'd rather drown punt it back, and for's like the jets here three and out. Steve, I think might have started a new Christmas tradition. I'm still gonna keep doing my celebrity death song until I'm not allowed to do it anymore. But Steve created a songer today called All Alive on Christmas, and I just want everyone to hear it because I think it's beautiful and is a

new Christmas tradition. Whether he likes it or not, he's gonna have to do it next year again. This is trip Mall Steve for the Beninsican Show with All Alive on Christmas on Your Home of the Mavericks nine, He's having won the freak and I'm gonna play it for you when now A Lily Tomlin is alive in dreams and doing well. A Gary Musey's driving like a bad out of Hell Alisa and bouncing up and down online, A dacting Lucasalders on

a gram for the first time. Go receive your Headgieandal Bomb gonna be riding everything on the screen of Margo Robbie, A dang Its, Wayne and Patrick Duffy survived Toil After Christmas for me, oh Sylvistner, Starve pand On, James Earl, John Paul Celebridies, All the Bee, All Alive on Christmas, A Jeene Hackman and Michael Caine, Kevin Costner, Juli and Preasure Chris Jack nicholsonry Up heard a Dick Van dyk day steal van here the Scott Stafftain,

Harrison Ford, Alpaccino, Allen All the Demi Moore, a Ringo Star and Paulma Cardney survived till after Christmas for me, Oh, Sylvester stall On, the hall stop done and line all Celebert It's all to be all alive on Christmas. Mmedy eg Man and the new Sloring Bobard and the guy at Beedle Juice the deer saying I've been good this dear gimmey star that Joe hands in in stocking driving me. Dear Sannah, I was lying a minute ago. I have not been good this year. I've actually been very bad.

Where I'd de seized my boss, I delivered sloppy flying work. I took way too much vacation. I marked all my emails as read and I just didn't reply to most of them. I killed a man. My auto registration has been expired since twenty twenty. Forgive me, Santa, let me keep Sylvest just alone. How sylvesterstone On and Jerry Jones all celebreties all to be all alive on Christmas. Hal all celeberties all to be all alive on Christmas. All all celebrities, all to be all alive, all the live.

Mori Povich, Michael dip Gunstead, you wonder helping John Danstead, Patrick and Mother Stuart, Tony Dan's under a pardon, Dane Keaton and Rich R. Fear and Rubber Due Ball, Hotes Simpson and Marcooper, David Swimmer, Patch of My Big Joe Peshi Le and George Jesus. That's incredible forming and it's so good. Man's cool. Rhyme schemes my word and I like that. Man, I took too much vacation and I you know, I didn't read all my emails. A killed guy. Yeah, the unnecessary key change me

so all that. The background vocals are doing some work too. Dude's a nut. He is. He is a bona fide banana sandwich. Is that he does asleep. I worry about his health. He sleeps. I guess no one, you don't, I don't. He don't well. I think some people are in arquier state. It was like some celebrity needs ten hours of sleep, like Mark Wahlberg Get out of here, ten hours of sleep. Who's got time for that? Besides you know, the people in college

like Brad's son and his mis gaggle of misfits. Okay, so coming up next to the most important thing in the world. Yes, buddy of ours and a rising star in the world of music, made a pretty astonishing announcement yesterday on Instagram and simultaneously released a very foreboding track. And we'll cover all of that and play a little bit of that or all. You know what, We're gonna play the whole damn song next

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