I played today with a ton of gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to do this. I'm really glad I get to do it again tomorrow, and I'm gonna remind myself I'm a dog and I'm ready for this moment. Good morning, Metroplex. We're the downbeat here with our new green jackets on April fifteenth, twenty twenty four, and we got you covered today with all the fun. If it happened this weekend, we were all over it because we are
active. Were your comedy first responders. Danny Bayless is here yep. Mike Siroy is here, Mike there. It is a little sticky you damn rite of them here? Hi? Why Kevin, Danny? Good morning? Good morning fans. J J. Jackson still away on mysterious trip. Where the hell to Boston? Where the hell? She would not give us the full details. Mysteriously. I asked her, Honor, I'm like, what are you doing there? And she's like, oh, you know, and then
she's kind of quiet. I predicted last week Boston Marathon. You know what today is? Yep? Today the Boston Marathon. Why wouldn't you tell us that we want to support her? We could have made funny signs and held them up on the side like you'll never make it, or vote ninety seven won the freak, Yeah, repurpose those or discount cigarettes for sale, doing it in her stead. I always wanted to open up a little cigarette stand on Dallas Marathon, you know, like cigars, cigarettes, good prices,
trinkets, knickknacks. Can you do that? I wonder? Probably not what sells smoke? When you can sell lemonade? Can you can sell smokes? Right? I don't think anybody smokes anymore. You don't think marathon participants are a good target down We could have vapes involved with it too. I bet there's a couple. But there's a handful of marathon ers at the end of
it. They're just ready for a nice Marble or one hundred. No way like the Euros or the yeah who just sucked out a Marborough one hundred, sitting down with your little metal on at the finish line, all right, man, the last place again. I think it was my lungs and stamina. I must work on this somehow. I don't know how. If you're used to smoking a ton and then you couldn't go the full length of a
marathon with that having your cigarette isn't that well? It smoke two back to day, a pack a day even you're knocking one out like what every hour and a half? Yeah, yeah, this old office building thing back two packs a day. Let's say one pack a day. That's twenty SIGs and you're awake what sixteen hours out of the day, man, I mean that's more than one an hour. I was up to almost two a day, two packs two a days. Yeah, wow damn. But it was more
like you. We would go out always. That's the deal breaker. Man. You can torture MinC. Yeah, monitor your your sig and take in the daylight. But yeah, you start adding beers and shots to that one sip of booze, rolled through a dozen ciggies in a in an alcohol exceeding dude. Since I like all the time I lived in Dallas, I would say the place I smoke the most cigarettes was the effing back of Twilight Lounge. There's something about that patio, right, I guess, And I swear
to God, I have no interest in smoking a cigarette. I plan on never having a drag of a cigarette for the rest of my life. But you catch me on a rough weekend, Like right now, it PLoP me in the back of Twilight. I'm not sure the whill wouldn't be uh down to zero and someone next to me, I'm like, I'd give you one of those. Got a extra, well, get one of those? Oh man, I don't want to. I don't want to take your upside down lucky in the way. Just leave you to leave on the table. Live
on the table, there'll be our cigarette. My favorite was when you get the rando coming up to you, can I can I buy a cigarette from you? No? No, here, just take it. I don't know if I've ever denied someone a cigarette, unless it was last maybe two. I think I've shown like two even three, depending where you are, if you're on a field at a concert or something, or like the look you understand go elsewhere for your request. Fel like I'm sorry, I only have
nineteen left. Yes, a field at a concert, Yeah, okay, okay. If I was again Big Coachella Weekend with Travis and Taylor and uh Donald Glover, Donald Glover, Yeah, Don Lover the return of Don Lover. But don't smoke. I get I don't tell me what to do. Philip Morris wants to join forces with ninety seven the Freak Michael siroy At iHeartMedia. Yeah, I don't know how that would work. It's still not allowed. There's ways around it, absolutely there is. I do live spots.
We just gotta tread, all right, don't actually mention that at some point, don't you just go yeah? Actually, radio, we'll take anything. My pillow welcome back. I mean, my pillow has been so much more on radio advertising over the years. Don't you have one? Absolutely? I do. Is it a good pillow? It's my favorite pillow? Really really yeah, I think I have my pillow as well. I never forgot it because my mom bought so many. She couldn't fit him in you You couldn't
fit him in her house. By five you get ten, Michael, I do remember, its like ten years or she said, Michael, I sent you a pillow. It's the greatest pillow. This is before everyone knew what the hell Mike Linndell was changing the world with. And I'm like, hell, yeah, cool, great pillow. I mean, did you like it? I don't eat. No. I remember just thinking, I don't know. It's whatever. It's a pillow. It's there's nothing out, it's not like you're getting the head cube. Yeah, the memory, like the new
fangled whatever. It's just a pillow. I guess I may still have it. I don't even know where it is. But she just like, oh my god, wait until But the funny thing is is that she saw the infomercials on Fox News in the middle of the night and she's like, I'm gonna get it, and then got one for herself and lay down on it. And because of you know how your brain works, She's like, this is the most comfortable pillow. This is truly I feel like I've never had
before. And you slept on it. You tried it? Yeah? Did you? Did you wake up with like every day a different conspiracy. Yeah, exactly, a fresh conspiracy here. Open your mind to what's really going on. Implanted. I slept great, but I'm pretty sure the earth is flat. Yeah, that feels time to take on the day. It was funny, exact mindset to me in the mail, the whole thing. This is twenty sixteen, twenty fifteen, and it's, uh, will you do
this pillow when we endorse this pillow? Absolutely sure, absolutely, I'll getting no idea at all. Any of the noise around my pillow at the time what the guy looks like they send it to you, I'm like, okay, well I'll just put the pillow case on it, and okay, one
night. I mean, I can't really tell the difference. Well weekend, You're like okay, and they tell you, like, your head will mold to the and the pillow will mold to your to the way you sleep, and I'm like, well, I'm all over the place when I sleep, so I'll wake up every ten minutes. So it's a problem. What a
nightmare you are? Either way, I feel so bad for that's all right, And when I got good sleep on Friday, when I took a sleep bill, my Saturday was my Saturday sucked because it was just out of it all day long. It was terrible. And I don't want to feel like that ever. I'd rather have the off and on burst of energy. The point is here, I am rocking on my pillow for eight years straight. It just hasn't been at the top of my to do list. Go get a new pillow. Well, if you like it, who cares. It's
not that I like it, it's it's I don't hate it. Yeah, he's right, I agree. I'm neutral. I think we've chatted about this pillow shopping, because how do you even know you don't? You go get one online? How do you know you don't? You're getting sold a bill of goods either way, and you go to a store and what, I guess, try it. I definitely have laid down the floor of a target, you know, and tried to simulate like, I don't know. Sure, it's a pillow maybe, but you don't know until a few days of
sleeping on it what it actually is gonna do. Yeah, there's there's no way you could know what's going on. So you end up just looking for one that's as similar as you can find to the one you have already. Then why not just keep that one? It feels soft enough, sure it's not a brick, Like you're wide awake at a mall, like, yeah, this is okay. It was the Mall of America. Yeah, at
a Whole my pillow store. He'd go in there and there's two big beds, and I was like, I really don't think I need another one. I'm good because I had one at the time. You just didn't know. He didn't know. Mike Lindell is a cardboard cutout of Mike G. Lindell. This guy's all right, he's got a mustache, pretty someone who should be making pillows. I don't know if it's if a tweet exists, but there is definitely a picture of me. Oh no, I'm old enough.
I got my arm around the cardboard cut out of him. Is it declaring this is my man, my man with my pillow. Definitely posting it out for social media views and I look at I'm going the extra mod for the endorser. Yeah. And then years later you find out that Mike Lindell has been really questioning the automatic voting systems and all that stuff. I mean, I don't even know his involvement and everything, and don't care. I think he might be going to jail or something. He's in trouble. He owes
a lot of money. I know he didn't sell enough pillows. Well, just giving him away to radio personality, I know the profits just went down the brain. Well, melm Over brought up something a minute ago that reminded me of something that happened yesterday. So my three year old Malcolm is the funniest human being that I've ever met. My wife, all due respect to you, Mike Sroy, thank you just to be in the conversation. I appreciate, I know, reset with his quote last week real quick, because
that's my favorite thing ever. Oh the one where we're walking down the street, wide open, wide open, no trees, nothing, walking down the street and he's kind of lagging behind because he what he likes to do on walks is what I call efing around. And he's about ten feet behind me and he goes, ow ow, I bumped my head, poor Malcolm. And I looked around as like, dude, there is nowhere that you could have bumped your head unless you hit yourself in the head. While yeah,
entirely. And I looked at him, I go, where did you hit yourself in the head? And he looked at me and he goes, Dallas, Texas. He's a boy genius. It's like I just stopped asking questions. You're like, well, gotcha. So we're putting him down for a nap yesterday, and I typically, if I don't get enough sleep the night before, which is every day, try to catch one with him for hour, hour and a half. Sometimes he'll sleep for two hours, which is
crazy because he's three. He needs it. His energy is NonStop, so he needs that midday nap. And our routine as of late is watching a couple of episodes they're eight minutes long of this TV show on Disney Plus called Blue. Everyone's heard of it. Okay, everyone's heard of it, but the real quick Bluey is they're a family of dogs and they're Australian and it's a mom and a dad and they have two daughters, Blue the older daughter, and Bingo, the younger daughter. And they were playing a game and
he's almost ready to pass out. He were sitting there just kind of watching it. And the thing that's great about the show's parents love it too, because it's just enjoyable. And they're doing some game. You know, they're always dressing up, and they're doing a dress up game and Bingo, the little dog sister, puts on a disguise and she's wearing glasses and a curvy mustache. And Malcolm sits up out of bed and go, Bingo's being kevy. Oh every mustache he sees is Bingo's being kevy, being Kevio. But
he knows that Mario and Kevio are different people. Yes, today, any one day, I know, I know that's not Kevio. Yeah, I know that's super Mario. I'll mess with you, but we call him Kevio because what makes you laughed at Bingos being Kevio being keV in the street. Take another twenty minutes to get you to fall asleep. Damn that was funny. Anyway, that's all I have for today. What do you guys got? Malcolm absolutely a month ago here ten seconds. I have a story because
I looked it up while we were chatting about it. A Chinese man known as Uncle Chen just recently this year twenty twenty four, completed the yah Men Marathon in three hours and thirty three minutes. Whoa but was disqualified for violating the races rules for smoking on the course. That's the way. Yeah, yeah, damn it. If you don't believe me, there's your photo of this half. I've seen that picture is and that was this year. Yeah,
he's crushing a sig while he's running. January twenty third, this year, Chain smoked his way through the marathon, was dqed for smoking on the course. The Chinese Association of Athletics just implemented a band on smoking last year, So someone does it. Three hours, thirty three minutes oh no, that's good. Sounds pretty fast. Also, my mom is up listening and said, let's not make fun of mom, and then followed up by my pillow has a new one out? Interesting? And then just now, does
Malcolm have a my pillow? Yes, mom, he has one, we all have him. No, but we'd love you know what. I'll text you my address in the break if you want to mail little Malcolm of a toddler my well, we'll gladly use it. Let's see if my pillow has a special yep, kids, pillow gotta love your mom. She's the best. She's coming to town, really right, it will be among us on Wednesday. I know who's co hosting a certain morning show for Thursday, Dude, the Scuttle with Vida. Let's go, let's go the whole show.
Really, of course, but maybe she filling in Friday's feeling on Friday. I don't know. I don't care. We're left on Friday, Maddie. See if you can find the weekend crap intro should be in there, Maddie's And for j J h uh oh, speaking of cigarette, a couple of cigarette smoking in there. Man, had I had to this one is my breakfast, cigarettes and water. A girl, you have weekend crap? This
is going to be a maybe weekend crap some crap. It's really not essential to have it that it is. We're transitioning to that portion of the show. What do you want to project on this TV today? We could did the Boston Marathon, but I don't know if that doesn't seem like a lot of fun. Okay, let's do. You didn't tell her to play it. You just asked if she had crack. Talk about it now. Crap. I don't even know why we even play. I saw the hot Homeless
couple this morning. They're back. Yep, dude, they bought up. They brought all their crap to the bridge, didn't they. Yeah, they had a good weekend. Everything is there. And I was stopped next to them again for about five seconds, and I'm like, oh if I could record, because I'm like, is there any chance they know who won the
Masters yesterday? And then I realized they probably don't. But then for the remaining forty seconds of the drive from that you turned to hear, all I can think about is does the hot homeless couple know that today is Monday? No? Actually yes? Because commerce picks up. Agree, So traffic patterns there efforts on that, and nobody knows traffic nobody knows traffic patterns better than the hot homeless couple. Yeah, but probably not. Do they know Scotty
Scheffler. I mean he's from Dallas, grew up in Highland Parks. Probably zip past him. He's probably ignored them. He probably ignored him a red light. Look at his phone, still confused about where they're at. How do you get you know he comes you come south from the toy, right, I don't get on the toy Okay. Then do you get here? Are you on Spring Valley? No? Arapa? And then you come down a service road turned to belt line? Huh? I do get on the
service road. I'm on the service road, headed soud. Okay, you just never actually get on the toy service road because we come from the south. Kevin, turn on Alpha. Yeah, we we exit Spring Valley and then loop around the It's way faster to turn No, it's not. You're a dingling if you think that we do a zip zip you you're right there and they're right on that little median. Uh yeah, they're right on that medium right when you do the U turn. You see them to your right
as you're whipping around at them. They'll disappear, like for a week or two, and all their stuff's gone. Today they're back and there you have so much crap and it's real disorganized. It's gonna take them a while to set up camp properly. I think they get run out and then they have an alternate place, and then they eventually matriculate back to to this spot. But there's a while. Was just a guy, and I thought they'd broken
up, you know, oh yeah maybe, but they're hot. They're probably going little breaks, you know, just so that it didn't get stale, because they're keeping fresh. You're together all the time. You know, who knows the couples? You know they go off to their different jobs. Well, they might be making so much money panhandling that when they disappeared, they're on some lavish vacation. Right, it's possible to say more. Ritz.
I always wondered how much could you make panhandling? All right, you want to do that as a bet payoff for this week's RBC RBC Heritage Classic Bad Bet Payoff News Guys, Yeah really, yeah, not by much either. It was tight. It was tight, and you know what, not fully confirmed because they get real shady with the purse this year. I'll side of the top fifty questionable numbers, don't think, but trust me, we did the math. Don't think the dinger didn't have the calculator pulled up on his
phone. They crunching some numbers last night before Bad when all I had to do is just look over to the Google doc because of course Kevin's already got it all tabulated on and audio of everyone talking about how much they made with their purse. It is true and Verne Lundquist audio that's later. Damn it, dude, Danny, you got me. You know how you got me. Bryson Brison did well, can't lay, didn't completely suck. Rory kind of turned it on a little bit. I got boned by guys like Brooks
kept gad, Tony finow Ugh and Matt Siama kill me. Was I just in the clear with Scotty Yeah, uit nothing to worry about it because I had the least amount of guys make the cut. But then I figured I was fine. You were fun easy. Three point six million dollars to Scotti Schuffer for winning yesterday's Masters Scotty's winnings doubled me and Kevin's. Yeah, I figured I was fine once we hadn't. I will admit I don't cheer for you to lose these bets at all, But for some reason this one,
I'm like, Danny's a real person. He doesn't need to be sending pictures of feet with food in them's. I was like, I don't want to poor Dan because you never tweet anyway, and you're pretty offline, I mean, but not compared to him or even me. Yeah, I feel like it's a bigger punishment for him. We don't need him to be tweeting out feet picks because it's us giggle about him. How many feet picks is it?
Three? Would already kind of had a strategy of mine too. Yeah, yeah, like you play showing your guitar and then your feet are just kind of down there. Well, the first one would have been me getting a pedicure, yeah, with a sandwich, fully extended arm, sandwich left arm, camera pointing at it, pick of people taking selfies and so much better than selfie and portrait awkward positioning. All right, that would have been an easy one. Yeah, the easy one that would have been the first
one and the next one, and then they did a good job. Look with a soda with the little one of the little separators that they put between your toes, you get some nice color. Are you getting knock yours out your your hot foot picks before you leave? They do? No, I think we need European foot picks, foot picks from abroad. Exotic dude, that's great. Yeah, like Positano and Italy jam at and a bowl of
pasta. Yeah, touching the top of a Napoli style pizza. I think feet are disgusting, Like I'm not in the you know, there are people who love them, I guess, but that's always been a confusing one to me. Like I can understand more watching Hintie than getting into feet stuff. It's one of the weirdest fetish is out there for me. Really. That's the feet are pretty disgusting, man. They're just used to be our foundation. They're used to collect all the germs from the ground. I don't want
to walk around barefooted. Ever, I'm a sock guy at all times. He wears shower coming. I used to kind of feel that way and then something switch flipped. Yeah, A lot of time ago I don't know what you've done. Everything else. It's like Final Frontier. I'm footing different. I'm not grossed out by him. I don't care. But I'm also not looking up of that big toe in my mouth. But if you do, yeah, no problem. I don't know. This is like a Nickelodeon.
They used to really have a lot of like toe jam punishments and stuff and toenails, and I don't know, it sticks with you over time. I think you know that's somehow, whether it's in person or just by watching it, nickelode had found a way to abuse us. You know, these things typically go back to child like your your your, I don't know, affliction with dogs. Yeah, did something happen to you when you were little? Which he's watching all that stuff on Nickelodeon, like they legit. On one
of the games you had to find a flag family doubled there. But that's just like in between the toe jam. You didn't have any foot trauma when you were little that I remember. But okay, I also have huge feet, So you don't twelve for a five foot eleven guy, maybe little above, Yeah, I would ten and a half eleven would be about normal for you. Hanging dog. Hell yeah, look at this. Beezer, Hell yeah, beezer. All right, let's get out of here. That's what
we did over the weekend. Well, we know what happened this weekend. Let's not act like we know everyone knows what we did. We hung out, We hung out, We watched the Masters. It's a good stuff. I left my house and hung out with Mikey. Hell yeah, it's hanging out without me. Yes, thanks, guys, appreciate that. You wouldn't have gone out anyway. I was looking for action on Friday night at mid or at what tenth? When did I arrive, like ten thirty to the
Cedars? About when I was Friday night at ten thirty. Yeah, that's about when I was debating to do something. Though, you know what, I still young. I'm the youngest person on the station besides Christina. So yes, ask well, it was her show and she talked about a lot. I assumed you knew that oatmeal pizza was at Lee Harvey's on Friday night for well, you know what, You're right, I should have. I should have too. It's fine, it's fine, you'll miss me when I'm
gone. You're leaving tomorrow, You're dying exactly tomorrow night somewhere over the Atlantic. I do fear that pretty good. I'm going to do it, expose on how many people have died in the Atlantic Ocean for you tomorrow, damn it, and the one thousand ways the Atlantic can kill you. M h well, you know, speaking of the Atlantic, you know what I was terrified of when I was little. The Bermuda Triangle. Hell yeah, you're going right. They say never fly over the heart of the Bermuda Triangle.
To this day, I've had pilots on say that and I actually checked your flight plan. You are going directly over the heart of the Bermuda Triangle. Hell yeah, no, hell no, it's you might as well do it if you're risking it. Anyways, my dad was fascinated with the Bermuda. He had like books on it. It was like telling me stories about the Bermuda tras, these these planes and these ships. They just they fly over
there, all their compasses start spinning. It's such a lie. These captains just lose all sense of direction and they're never heard from or seen again. And I'm like five, going, what the f I don't want to go to the Bermuda Triangle essentially because it's the eastern seaboard of the United States and there's a lot of travel on it, and it was at the beginning of airplane travel and there's hurricanes. Well, let's not be late. Okay, Hey, it's your last second, last day ever on the air. I
want you. I want to do what you want to do today. I don't really want to her last day on the planet. I want to talk about Shakira's upcoming world tour and look at Google images ever. But also people are saying, this was the greatest episode of Saturday Night Live in the last five years? Was it next? On ninety seven? Won the Free