This is a downbeat. The little hockey team did something good last night. They went again. Are they clinched? They clinched first in the Western Conference and they did it in a shootout against Saint Louis last year. There, dude, that was here. And it was a late game because I saw a tweet from Grooves at around nine to thirty and it said I at hockey game. I was like, oh cool, I wonder it's probably about over and they were barely in the first period. Geez. Really yeah, really
strange. So that's the last one of the regular season, right, I think it is? Is it? Is it their final? Or they have one more? N that appears to be it. Yep, and we got two seven Let's see we got how many more MAVs we got? Well, we got Clippers that Sunday. Yeah, we've been done. Jesus, play off on ABC. I can't wait. Let's start with that in Sports at seven, Get job Stars, and now sports at start with our little Mavericks. I guess. And we will watch the Stars playoff games and be pumped
and talk about them the day after. But I don't know. I'm locked in on MAVs. I'm very fired up. You're ready for next week because you know what next week means. What, Well, we get the beautiful, beautiful two thirty pm tip on Sunday, and then you and I are off on Monday, and then you and I come back on Tuesday well rested and fresh, only to have to probably stay up until midnight to watch a nine pm first tip. And I'm assuming that on Tuesday night the first tip
will be Okay, yep, So we've got MAVs clips on TNT. First tip scheduled for nine o'clock. In reality, it'll probably be closer to nine thirty. And that's if the Tea Wolves and Sons finish their game in regulation. Sure, that's double ot thriller. And I don't know how to navigate this man, because there's nothing worse than coming in here and rocking three hours of sleep. Yeah, but I'm not missing. I'm not either, So we're just gonna do it. Yep. That's why we are not only the
comedy first responders or the first responders of comedy. Yeah, first responders of sports. Okay, he's Danny Bayless. It's gonna be Mike Roy Kevin week. It's gonna be an awesome week. It starts Sunday, and we discussed this a little yesterday. We need to we need to lock this down. I'm going to Las Vegas and gambling is legal there, and my MAVs bone is full masked and I want to get down on big action and I invite you to do the same with me. And yesterday a bunch of people texting
they want to get in. No, not doing it. We're not getting everybody in on this. This is just you and I, all right, And I think you should send me three hundred dollars, okay, And if you do that, and these odds could fluctuate a little bit, I don't know, but I will get us bets on. The first one would be the MAVs are minus one against the Clippers this Sunday, Game one in Los
Angeles. If we think the MAVs are gonna win the series, I mean it is odd their favorite on the road, but I part of me thinks that they are going to handle up on the Clippers good and that would mean winning the first game. Now, they could lose the first game, so win the series, no problem. But I think if we believe in them and they do thump the clips, you know you would never get a minus
one again in the series. And I think first game, I think we get down on it, okay, and that's just basically straight up to one, straight up, it'll basically two hundred. I'll cover the big so it'll be two twenty to win, to win two hundred bucks, basically double our money. Yeah, so we would, you know, make two hundred bucks each if whatever veigs or fees or whatever included. I don't even know what that means. That's the juice you got to pay the man. Okay.
So if it's if they're minus one ten, so you have to pay one hundred and ten dollars to win one hundred dollars and they build a new casino in the desert. I mean, that's how it works. So we'll put two twenty to win two hundred. That's just straight up that game. Then it gets more exciting because if you do believe in them to win the Western Conference right now, you can get them at seven to one. It was six to one yesterday. Well that I again, it might be I don't
know what it'll be at the sports book. I'm at right know, and I'm probably not going to walk and shop around all these sports books. So whenever they're offering, you definitely want to get these bets in before they play. Oh yeah on Sunday, I'll get them in tonight. Obviously you'd have to write yeah, because that would change Yeah, yeah, I mean if they thumped the Clippers in Game one on the road, that's going to drop
that Western Conference thing is going to drive rather like that. That gives them a massive advantage in their first series, and that puts them one step closer. So yes, the odds would change significantly. Well, I'll get these in this afternoon. Okay, seven to one to win the West. Okay, now that is a seven hundred dollars payout. Yes, so it's two hundred, fourteen hundred dollars. Are we still at sixteen to one for the
to win to win it all, win the whole shebang? Sixteen to one, So that's one hundred bucks to win sixteen hundred collectively are two hundred to win thirty two hundred bucks. But yes, if you send me the three hundred, we'll have three bets. You win a hundred bucks essentially if they beat the Clippers someday, Okay, if they win, then we'll just be holding our tickets and they got to win the West and that'll be seven hundred
bucks, and then sixteen hundred bucks if you win twenty three. This is the fun part is where you add up all your winnings like, okay, god, that'll be a lot of money to do that twent It won't be us just ripping tickets. About ten days from now, the Clippers close them out for one after taking them in the the series opener. Of course they lose the game one, and you know, just tear them all up. I'll tell you what I feel like. My odds are much better doing that
then refunding my whatever it's called lotto pocket app three. Yeah, jack pocket app for three hundred. Oh I'm put in twenty and I did win seven. Okay, that's pretty solid seven bucks off of a jackpocket. But I'm down to a dollar. You have a dollar in my account? Oh well, one scratchy. I haven't got any emails from jackpocket either. I got that one. You're a winner. I was like, what did I win the power ball? No? You click on your email because that would be
how you found out. I know. Yeah, yeah, I wonder if you win the whole m effort? Yeah, how it's different. If they send you that email and it just tells you like you would have contact your local you'd have an effing heart attack. If you were you wouldn't believe it. Number One, if you clicked on your jackpocket app Jackpocket email it said or just the app and the balance was twenty dollars and now it's one point
two billion, like refresh. I don't think that's how it works. I wonder if they say, yeah, you need to call you need to call a human Yeah, and a lawyer. Yeah. Well look, that's a fool's air. And when you bet with throwing industries, you bet to win, all right. This is the man that is admitted on these airwaves that he's lost in excess of one hundred thousand dollars gambling in his life excess. Right, Yes, that's a guess. But yeah, okay, I'm a
terrible gambler. I do not feel like my money is safe with you in pretty much any aspect, especially this one. But I'm still going to do this. You're in the right headspace, Yeah, you're in the right where I need you. Now. The problem is what an idiot if we win? Yeah, I fear the I fear the wild ass ploy to reinvestt to just let me hang on to it. He's also going to win. Yeah, Rangers, now reinvest. No, this is a one These are a one off or a three off bet. We're putting one hundred bucks each.
You know what idiot Italian boy would want in on this? I don't even have to ask him. And you know we will find out if he has an ear button his ear on Lake Como, because they'll be texting us in just a second. That says I'm in. But when we should include him, she wouldn't. I don't think he would admit to that that he's listening to us while he's on an Italian lake. He doesn't want to miss out on action. He's hot. Plays who likes action more? You or him?
I think him. I think he does too. I think just because he's younger. I'm I'm a little older, and I know that I'm just paying for entertainment. I think he still clings to hope that riches await I know it, they won't. I mean that's why I play slots, dude, you do or don't? I do because it's the because it's my only chance to make it all back in one second. You know, it's the only thing you do in there that you could make ten thousand dollars in ten
seconds. And I know it's just less odds and longer shot and suckers bet. And it's ninety seven or ninety three percent of a casino's income is via the slot machine. Yeah, that's crazy. That's why they're everywhere. Like those table games are the a work as well. I did a big deep dive on this years ago when we were going to Vegas on percentages and what your actual best bet in Vegas was, and I don't really remember all of
that. I'm pretty sure your literal best bet in Vegas is craps to back up the point number, you know, if you put ten bucks on the on the pass line and then the numbers set at six, and to back that up with maximum, which I think is forty dollars if you put ten, I think backing up that bet is your best odds in Las Vegas. But the bad odds roulette is not great odds, but it's fun. Christina
likes it. And if you just get kind of lucky, you can tread water and spend some time at the table, get a bunch of drinks. I played Roulette for three hours before broken even had ten drinks. Had an absolute blast of a time, Tendrey, Yeah, I can only imagine. Yes, I think the first time I've only been to Vegas once, and the first night there, I spent the entire night until the sun came up playing video poker. Yeah, it just straight up Texas hold'em, playing against
the computer. And I think I actually came out a little bit ahead, and I would have come out more ahead because I was trying to be strategic and when to do max betting. And I remember I went on this really bad run of betting all of my credits because I think you could go up to like at the time, this was a long time ago, that you
could bet five credits. Essentially you're playing a quarter or whatever. I remember at one point it was I got a little bit down and I'm looking at my bankroll and I'm thinking, man, I probably need to back off for a little bit and try to rebuild this back up. And the first time I pulled back max credits to betting a single credit, I hit a straight
flush. Really yeah, oh, betting a single credit. Yeah. I dropped from from max credits to single credits, and I popped a straight flush which at the it paid like five hundred bucks, but it should have paid about twenty five hundred bucks. And I would have just walked away at that point. And that fuels you think the whole thing is rigged. It is rigged. I feel like it can't be that random that the one time that you back off, ease up on your on your juice that they give you,
they reward you. I don't know. I mean, I don't know how that works legislation and oversight for these things that I don't know. I mean, look, I don't think though it's rigged like that. Yeah, I mean it's rigged to a percentage to pay out less than it takes in
over a long period of time. But I don't think it's right. Like my nightmare is to play max bets on a slot for an hour and then you know, you get down to the credit, your credits get below the minimum them out for max bets, you have to lower your bet and then you lower it like you said, the lowest one, and then you hit the progressive and you're not eligible for it, you know, because you didn't bet bet max or that you get up after two hours at the slot,
and as you're walking away, the grandma sits down with their oxygen tanking and hits yep. And don't you know what if you get off off a slot, just get it away from that thing as quick as possible. You don't don't want to know. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see the balloons drop and the glitter and the sparkler girls come out and them with the giant check for gam gam as. I'm open back to the
bar I had to. I mean, like, I played video poker back when it was like it's kind of legal in Texas, or playing it online, not video poker, online poker, and until they kind of shut that down. But I felt I could tell that whether it was being prone to an addicted personality or whatever, I knew how I felt playing those games and gambling, and I knew that I probably needed to not do that anymore because
it wasn't something that I could afford to be an addict to. No exactly, Well, we talked about we're talking about the Otani thing and the amount you bet, and there's some sort of gauge inside of every human of what you you know, you, Well, I don't know. Some people are just smart and hell, I think women are just in general smarter than men, and women in my life don't really gamble. Like Christina is going this week and I think it is her first time in Vegas, and I think
she has budgeted for gambling on the entire trip one hundred dollars. That's so smart. And she's like nervous about it. She's like, what am I gonna play? And I'm like, a hundred bucks that's I mean, Christina, this has happened where Christina's like, I have to go to the bathroom, like cool, of course, help her find a bathroom, and I sit down at a slot to wait while she's in the bathroom, and I
torch one hundred bucks. Yeah, in the slot machine, because you play max bets, and some of these fan slot machines, you hit max bet and forty five dollars just jumped out of your account, like they make it confusing. I don't know what the max bet was, right, like I'd like to put I mean fifteen bucks per bet, you know, five, ten, fifteen, three times play, And there's a reason like that. There's a reason why those damn machines are everywhere in that city, right.
I remember leaving Vegas to come back to Dallas in the airport and there's slot machines all over the airport, or at least there were back then. Oh there are. Did they have the Did they still have the cigarette atrium at
Mcarran? Yeah? I think they do. My god. I mean, if you've never been to Vegas, there's this little uh class figurette there's this plastic cube that's inside the airport that you walk by, and it's just this big like a room that it's clear glass and you can go inside and smoke with cigarette in this little thing in the inside the airport, and inside there are slot machines. So you're I've got this addiction to this, this tobacco. I've got to go feed this. Well what have we here? For?
One? I don't mess aroun at the airport because I usually leave depressed and broke, broke, and I just don't. But I love it. I don't care. It's fun, man, but it is fun. And I love that feeling that that I guess it's adrenaline or dopamine or whatever it is, and you keep chasing it because you want that that feeling to keep going, but I always found myself at the end of it. And maybe
this is what a good A good night of cocaine feels like. Is he keep chasing it all night and then you realize it's like, Okay, this just isn't gonna work out for me. And then the come down off of that that dopamine, it's just a bummer. I remember feeling depressed the next day. Yeah. Now, granted the time that I realized that that gambling is not for me unless it's something fun like we're doing up here with the masters, or I'm throwing you venmowing you three hundred bucks to bet on my
favorite basketball team. But I knew that it was wrong for me when I've told you the guys this story before. When we did the hey, let's go to Shreveport tonight. Sure, Me and three of my friends drove to Shreveport. Two of the friends were degenerate gamblers that loved blackjack, and we're gonna sit at a table all night long. Me and the girlfriend of one of these dudes found our way to the cheap slots and we sat there for about two hours and played cheap slots. And I'll be damned to play in
those slots. I got up like five hundred and six hundred dollars, took the money, went back and found the dudes playing blackjack and sat with and one of the guys that's kind of an expert at it told me how to bet. I lost all of that money in about ten minutes doing just following his instruction, like we were colluding at the table, which I don't know
if that's legal or not. It's fine, it's fine. And he's like telling me exactly what to do, and he's kind of bait, figuring out how he's going to play based on what he knows I'm going to play. And I lost every bit of that money in about ten or fifteen minutes. And I was blasted out of my brain on free alcohol and woke up the next day in a hotel room bed and had three receipts in my pocket from
the ATM for one hundred dollars each with fifteen dollars ATM fees. And not only did I lose that six hundred bucks, I went in the hole another three hundred and felt like crap. I was hungover and just felt shame and to come down off of that whole evening, like I'm never doing this again because I'm not mature enough to handle it. And you do it again and I didn't. Never went back. Well, that's never been to a casino
since. Okay, Well that's how I've lost. What I've lost is because yes, I feel that same thing, and then you get kind of an itch, like, all right, let's get back to it, let's fix all this, let's make it all right. I like our odds with the MAVs, though I do too. I feel good too if they just win Sunday. I mean, you've doubled your money, yeah, and that chips away at the bet that you made on the West or on the NBA Finals,
you should be good. The other reason, I don't know if slots are rigged, but I always see in commercials, for you know, even our you know, the greatness of chalk taw. In the commercial, they can show the slot machine hitting like the ultimate progressive thing, and then the beautiful woman in the sequin dress goes yes and they cheers their martini glasses. So I'm like, well, you can do it in the commercial, so I know you're at least capable. Commercials don't lie you're at least capable of
making that machine hit what you want at the head. It's true. I love it, dude. I don't know. You're gonna have great time to have a blast. And we had enough fun stuff planned going to concerts and uh dinners and stuff. And plus it's Christina's first time in Vegas, which I'm almost more excited about than anything. That's one of the cool things about And she's such so open minded and fun about these She's so good to go
with stuff. She just wants to go and have a good time. I mean, maybe foolishly, but she trusts that I tend to know what the hell is going on. I mean, I've been in Vegas a lot, so I'm I know all these directionally where we're headed and all that, and I just want to see her see it, you know. I mean, it's something to see. Man. You don't realize how massive that strip is until you walk out of your hotel room and see how wide that damn street
is and how long. And it's just in cool as far as you can see, it's as far as you can see, brightest lights and all this stuff. And she wants to see the Fountain of belage, you know, like yeah, and I like teristy stuff. When I went, I stayed at the Venetian and it was pretty new. Yeah, it was like damn near brand new. I think it opened that you and just you can just stay in your hotel at some of those places and never leave and not be
bored. Yeah, you know. And the restaurants are incredible. It's so good. Back in my buffet days, you know about probably in my twenties, late twenties when I went, what you get to eat all of it? Boy, they crank the prices up on those now though, I think you're fifty bucks? Oh yeah, they were, They were twenty five thirty bucks, you know, twenty thirty years ago. So if they are really fifty sixty bucks for the Venetian Buffet, and I guess they're like, oh,
it's all King crab leg and stuff. Thank King. I think I could go now, rab Leg. I think I could go now and handle myself. I do. But yeah, at twenty nine, oh good, I'll be there in eight hours. All right, I'll get you that cash. Let's bet on some MAVs. We's bet on the MAVs. This has been sports at seven. Uh we should have done that during the scuttle butt. Instead of that, we screwed things up, so I actually do probably in the scuttle butt, Let's get to the dude was banned for life in
the damn NBA. I want to get to Mark Cuban's Texas, Yes, and we never got that yesterday. We'll discuss next right here on ninety seven one. The freak