How Kobe Bryant's Training Philosophy Transformed My Life

Foreign. Welcome back.

Today I've got a very special guest, Allen Stein Jr. Who I don't want to botch his bio, but he's, he's worked with some of the all time greats in the NBA, which is unreal. Putting out crazy content. Awesome content. He's now a personal and business development coach. And Alan, man, appreciate you coming on. My pleasure, John. It's good to be with you. I'm looking forward to a fun conversation. Yeah. So did I cut, did I sum up basically what, what you've done and what you're doing?

I want to get into your backstory, but that does that give us kind of a pretty good background? Yeah, most of what I do today is keynote speaking, so most of what I do is, is less one on one and less smaller groups and it's more working with groups at large. But yeah, no, you nailed it, man. You got the sentiment correct. Awesome. Awesome. Well, excited to hear, you know, some, some things, obviously your experience and some stories too. But let's go back.

I'm actually, I found you because I'm a basketball guy. I play a little bit of college and I know and we'll dive into it, but identity was a big thing for me. I played basketball for so long that once it was cut off, it's like, who am I? And then I try. I got into kind of probably a somewhat similar path of you where I did some, some development, coaching development, did some coaching then. And then finally it was like a light switch just went off.

Had our first kid and it was like basketball's no longer my identity. So. Did you ever have anything like that? Well, first of all, did you play college basketball, high school basketball? I did, I played high school. I, I currently live in the suburbs of Washington D.C. which is also where I grew up. Played at a public high school here and then I played down it. It was Elon College at the time. It's now Elon University in Burlington, North Carolina.

So yeah, was able to achieve a dream of playing college basketball. And once my college career started coming to an end and it was very obvious to me that playing professionally was not in the cards.

That was when I made the transition to being a basketball performance coach. Basketball was still such a driving passion and important pillar in my life that I wanted to continue staying in the game as long as I could. So I just transitioned from player to coach. Yeah. Were you high school coach or did you get right into performance training right away? All I've ever done is the performance work.

So while I, I, my Business that I, I own and ran here in the D.C. area focused mostly on high school age players. And I was able to work with two different high school programs here in the D.C. area, very renowned programs that have produced players like Kevin Durant and Victor Oladipo and Markel Fultz. But that's what earned me some opportunities to work the Nike skills academies and to work with guys like Kobe and Steph and you know, LeBron and just a whole host of, of elite athletes.

But no, I've never actually been a basketball coach teaching the X's and O's of the game. I've always specialized in the niche of performance, strength, conditioning, mindset and those things. Curious. Why did you. Because it looked like, you know, just reading your bio, it looked like maybe you wanted to be a high school coach. So what, what drew you to more the one on one rather than coaching the team? So I, both of my parents were elementary educators and did that for their entire careers.

So when I went to Elon at that time, the only vision that I had was becoming a high school teacher so that I could coach high school basketball. I wasn't very passionate about the teaching part. I was mostly passionate about the coaching part. But at that time in the 90s, there really weren't any full time high school coaches that didn't also teach. So it was kind of, you had to take the good with the bad.

But it was while I was at Elon is when I started to develop this new passion for strength and conditioning and fitness and performance training. So when I graduated, that's when I decided to make that shift and say, you know what, I'm going to take this newfound love of strength and conditioning, marry it to my previous love of the game of basketball and working with players. And this is the niche that I, I want to carve out.

And even at that time, I mean in the late 90s, there were very few people doing basketball specific strength and conditioning. You know, when I graduated from Elon, less than a third of NBA teams even had a strength and conditioning consultant at that time.

So, you know, just to show you how far that industry's come in the last 30 years, you know, today every NBA team has an entire performance department made up of dozens of professionals with very specific niches from, you know, physical therapists and athletic trainers and strength and conditioning coach, massage therapists, nutritionists. Like, it's just incredible how far that industry's come. But in the 90s, there really weren't many people doing it.

In fact, the only person that I was aware of doing it in the private sector was Tim Grover, who many people know today. You know, he was Michael Jordan's trainer and Kobe's trainer and he's written a couple of really excellent books and he was kind of the avatar for me. He was the only guy that I knew of that was making a full time living in the private sector training basketball players. And my goal was to mimic what he was doing.

But at the high school level, you know, my, my target was always to work with youth, middle school and high school age players because for me personally, I felt I could have a much bigger impact on their lives than I could have just helping them on the court. You know, I felt I could be a role model, I could teach them the intangibles of work ethic and attitude and accountability.

So while I certainly had a passion for improving strength and athleticism and work capacity, I had an equal passion for pouring into young people. So that was why I chose to specialize at the high school level. So I always kind of wanted to be the Tim Grover at the high school level. And then as I said, that work led to some opportunities with Nike and Jordan Brand and USA Basketball to still have an opportunity to work with, work alongside and be around elite level NBA players.

But my focus was always at the high school level. That's awesome, man. So you had a why there on, on obviously a deeper why than just not just getting kids and players, you know, stronger and fitness wise, but make their lives better overall. Well, and I always saw the two were inextricably linked. Like, trust me, I was very passionate about the performance side. I mean, I, I wanted my players, you know, to get as big and as strong and as explosive as possible and get in phenomenal shape.

I wanted to be a small puzzle piece and their collage of being able to pursue their dreams of playing college basketball or playing in the NBA. But I knew that at that same time that it didn't have to be exclusive to just that I could also be a good role model for them and teach them some life lessons. And of course at that time I'm in my mid to late 20s, so I'm still technically just a kid. I'm still learning life lessons, I'm still figuring things out.

So it's kind of funny that, you know, I'm almost 50 years old now that I can look in the rearview mirror 25 years ago and you know, realize not only how much I didn't know then, but how much more I still need to know, you know, now But I'm very grateful that my journey, you know, gave me those opportunities.

The game of basketball has been really, really good to me and I got to meet and work with and some awesome people, coaches and players, got to travel the world, got to do some really cool things. So I'll always be indebted to the game of basketball for sure. It's amazing how, I mean, I, as you're talking, I'm looking back at the, the workouts we did and you know, the, the little bit of workouts we did in high school and then the workouts we did in college.

It's like we were not doing basketball workouts. Right. We're bulking for the guys that took it serious because most times basketball players, it's like, I'll put up 50 of what I can actually lift and just get through this thing. So it's amazing how far it's come in 20, 20 some years. Yeah, well, for me, one of the reasons I was able to be somewhat successful in that niche was because I always considered myself a basketball player.

I mean, I, I, I walked and talked and act like a basketball player. So I was taking players through the same types of workouts that I would want to go through. So what I, where I really helped kind, kind of gain some notoriety and earn certain opportunities was because I approached basketball strength and conditioning with the specificity and the mindset of a basketball player.

You know, at that time, you know, anyone that was working with basketball players was training basketball players like football players, was training basketball players like bodybuilders, was training basketball players like Olympic lifters. And as you just mentioned, that's putting a square peg in a round hole. So for me, I was always looking for ways to trade basketball players very specific to the demands of the sport.

And I knew, I mean, I had the humility to know that most basketball players didn't want to be in the weight room. All they want to do is they want to be on the court, they want to be running up and down, shooting shots and playing five on five. So I also understood, you know, brevity was important. I understood making the workouts as fun as I could make them, that was important.

And also understanding that if I could at least make the workouts appear to be basketball specific, so the kids felt like they were doing something for their game and not being trained like a football player, that would increase their buy in and their belief in and my ability to earn their trust and respect and then design and create innovative workouts that they actually enjoy doing is why I think I was able to kind of make a niche in that area.

I certainly wasn't any smarter or knew any more about biomechanics than anybody else out there. That was not the case. You know, I just understood how to connect with players and how to speak their language and that served me very well. And I really enjoyed that as well. For sure, I think you just answered it. But question is, obviously did weightlifting and you know, plow mixtures, all that stuff for the body. Did you involve skills, basketball skills, dribbling, shooting in the workouts too?

No, I didn't. That was, I left that to their skill trainers and their coaches. I, one thing I've always been fairly decent at in all of my different iterations of my career is knowing exactly what I'm good at and knowing what my lane is and not venturing outside of that. So, you know, I never taught the skills of the game.

I understood them and I had great relationships with different skill trainers and coaches, you know, so I can make sure that what I was doing supported the skills of the game and supported what it was they wanted their players to do. But I never, I never went down that path nor did I ever teach the X's and O's of the game. I mean that, that just wasn't my responsibility.

But, you know, so it's not my job to teach players the skills of the game or the X's and O's, but I could also look at certain attributes from the skills they needed and say, okay, well that's what we need to work on from a strength and conditioning standpoint. So, you know, if a coach was working on a player, increasing their range on their shot, they would do that from a footwork and mechanics standpoint. I would do that from a strength and power standpoint.

You know, if, if we can strengthen your hips and legs and core, then you'll be able to generate more power which if applied properly to the skill of shooting, means you'll be able to increase your range. So those things. I always looked at myself as being very supplemental to the coaching staff and to the skill trainers. You know, I was kind of the, the window dressing, if you will. And I don't say that in a self deprecating way. I say that with a tremendous amount of pride.

You know, at the end of the day, the name of the game in basketball is, is be able to put the ball in the basket is to get your, you and your four teammates to, to play harder and smarter and more together than your opponents. You know, so I Realized that ultimate success in the game didn't rely solely on strength and conditioning. That was just a part of it. And, and really, you know, if we're, if we're really going to get in the weeds.

The number one focus of my entire job was to keep players healthy and injury free, you know, was to improve their mobility and their stability and their, their ability to accelerate and decelerate, their ability to jump and land and cut and move, you know, because it doesn't matter how good of a player you are, if you're injured, then you're not really able to add value to your team, you know, from a playing standpoint. So my number one job was to injury proof the body.

My number two job was to get players as big and as strong and as agile and as explosive as possible. And then my number three job was to help them with the intangibles of work ethic and mindset and accountability and being a good teammate. Kind of the glue that will hold everything together. So I always kept my priorities in order and I always stayed in my. Lane, which is super. I mean, that's the success to most people, right? Staying in your lane, focusing on what you're good at.

Yeah, your, your, your best ability is availability. Right. In sports, if you're not available. Yeah, it's gonna take your job well. And you know, what's cool is I, I have that same approach now. So right now, as a keynote speaker, one of the groups that I do a tremendous amount of speaking for are sales groups, sales professionals, you know, the sales department of certain companies. But I don't teach sales techniques. I don't teach the specifics of sales.

I teach all of the, the intangibles that will supplement one's ability to apply those sales techniques. So I'm really doing the same thing that I did before. You know, if a sales organization probably has some type of sales philosophy or sales system, and they most likely learned that from someone else, they. The same way a basketball player would learn from a coach or a skills trainer. My job is to help them with the intangibles.

Can I help you improve your ability to communicate, your ability to actively listen, your ability to be present, your ability to have humility? See, if I can help with the raw materials, then if they apply those raw materials to the specific sales system, then they'll actually get better results. So I'm just like, when I was in the basketball space, I was not in competition with skill trainers or coaches. I was on their team. I was trying to help them. And Same thing.

Now, if there's a sales speaker out there listening right now, I'm not in competition with you. I'm here to support you and to help you and to help give you a better foundation to which everything else will be built, for sure. So I want to hear how. How you kind of approach the mindset with the players and then how that transition looked when you went over to, you know, more of the dealing with sales, salespeople or in the business world.

Well, one important disclaimer to make, actually, there's a couple. One is that even right now, present day, with everything I share on stage and everything I share on page and everything I preach and everything I teach, I'm not coming from a place of mastery. Like, I am still working on all of this stuff now. What I can say with a huge smile and a tremendous amount of pride is, is I'm making progress.

I am better at the stuff I share today than I was a year ago, than I was five years ago, 10 years ago, and certainly 20 years ago. So I'm moving in the right direction. But even the stuff that I preach and teach on stage and on page now, again, I'm not coming from a place of mastery. I'm still working on this stuff myself.

And the other disclaimer I want to make is I have the humility to acknowledge that a good portion of these philosophies and perspectives that I teach now, I had a very different mindset and approach when I was younger. You know, I've learned a lot of these things through the school of hard knocks.

You know, one of the biggest ones I teach now when it comes to mindset, is to simply do the best you can with what you have, wherever you are, which means no blaming, no complaining, and no making excuses. Like, I'm a big believer in that today, and that's part of my own operating system. But I say with a smile and a wink, if you knew me 20 years ago, I was the king of blaming, complaining, and making excuses.

Anytime something didn't go my way, it was someone else's fault or for some other reason. So I say that because I've grown and I've matured and because of life experience, hopefully become somewhat wiser. So many of my approaches and the ways that I did things way back in the basketball training days have evolved now. So I. I'm not teaching the same stuff today that I did 20 years ago because I've grown and I'm better and I found better ways to do it. But the.

But the overall Intent and premise really hasn't changed that much. The fundamentals haven't changed that much. It's just I've really increased my awareness through age and through repetition and through life experience, for sure. Curious. You rubbed elbows and obviously worked with some of the best in the NBA, right? Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, and, and I want to hear Obviously, Kevin Durant, seven foot tall, LeBron, you're six, eight, right? Just a freak of a human that helps them being great.

But what's a number one attribute of the, the best of the best that they have? And then what's the best attribute that you've seen guys more like a, Maybe a Steph Curry or Steve Nash that were maybe smaller, and they. It wasn't their athletic ability that really got them there. Do you see a difference between, you know, those two types of people? No, I don't, actually. It's the exact same stuff.

I mean, yeah, certainly even Kevin Durant and LeBron would not deny that their, their height and their physical stature is an advantage when it comes to playing the game of basketball. But that's, that's not the reason that they're successful. That is a spoke on the wheel. But, you know, you could go take a walk around your neighborhood right now, and you'll probably see someone that's 6 foot 8, like, it's not rare, you know, that that's the only reason he's in the NBA. You know, there's.

There's millions of people that are probably six, six or taller around the world, and yet there's only 450 players in the NBA. So while that certainly gives one an advantage, there has to be a lot more to it than that.

And, and, and I would never do it because I don't disparage people publicly, but I can think of a long list of players that were just as big, strong, tall, and athletic as KD and LeBron who never made it because they didn't apply all of the other intangibles and have the attributes that those guys have. But to answer your question, there's probably a list of about a dozen traits that unite almost all high performers, whether it's basketball or business or anything in between.

But the three that I always lean on and the three that I think are the most common and the most vital, the first is the best of the best. They never get bored with the basics. They have a very strong respect and appreciation for the fundamentals, and they understand that working towards mastery of the fundamentals is, and I said this phrase before, is the foundation to which the rest of the house is built.

So they understand that if I want to be a really good basketball player, I have to get really good at the fundamentals of the game. Shooting, passing, defending, rebounding, and handling the ball. I have to take care of my body so that I can move. I have to understand the game. I have to have a high basketball iq. I have to be in great shape. Those are the fundamental building blocks.

So whether it's basketball or business, the best of the best understand and embrace the fundamentals, and they work relentlessly towards mastery of them. The second trait that unites the best of the best is they learn how to earn confidence, but blend it with humility. They earn confidence during the unseen hours. They earn confidence by putting in the work when no one else is watching. By getting in the repetitions, they earn the right to be successful.

You know, Stephen Curry is not the world's greatest shooter by accident. He's the world's greatest shooter by design. Because generally speaking, he has probably taken and made more shots during the unseen hours than any player in the history of the game. So it's a natural byproduct that he would be that good of a shooter. So the reason he's so confident is because he's put in the work to earn the right to be confident.

However, the best of the best still brush all of that confidence with a major stroke of humility. And it's humility that allows them to stay open to coaching. It's humility that allows them to stay open to feedback. It's humility that. That reminds them that no matter how good they get, they can still get better. Which is why a player like Kobe Bryant, you know, was. Was the best in the game. A player like Stephen Curry is the best shooter of all time.

And yet those types of players would continue to work on and developing different aspects of their game. You know, still to this day, Stephen Curry is making X amount of shots before every game and X amount of shots on his off days, you know, because he knows he can still get better. And. And humility is the only thing that allows you to do that. And when you learn to blend the two masterfully, confidence with humility, it's a lethal combination.

See, if you have all confidence and you have no humility, then you become arrogant, you become cocky, you become narcissistic, and that can cause a whole host of problems. If you have no confidence in all humility, then you become meek, you become timid, you're not going to be assertive, you're not going to be aggressive. So the key is trying to find that appropriate balance. And it's going to be a little different from person to person.

But every high performer I've ever worked with has some degree of both of those. And like I said, humility is through the lens of what I just shared. Most people would not consider Kobe Bryant a humble player because of his alpha male bravado and the way that he would approach the game. So through that lens, that's not how I'm defining it. Kobe Bryant was always open to coaching, always open to feedback, and was always working on his game.

He never thought he was a finished product that belonged under museum glass. So that's the humility I'm talking about. And then the third pillar is the best of the best are crystal clear on their goal and their North Star, but they focus on the process. They don't focus on outcomes. They focus on the process. Now, outcomes are still very important, and outcomes might be a driving source of motivation, but they understand that the only way to get to that outcome is to focus on the process.

And the best analogy I can think of is if you were ever asked to build a brick wall, don't focus on the wall, focus on the bricks. See, if you can lay each and every brick exactly where it needs to go, and you can lay every brick with care and precision, the wall will just take care of itself. You don't have to focus on the wall, but you do have to focus on each and every brick.

So a player might, like Kevin Durant, might wake up in September and realize, hey, our goal is to win an NBA championship, but we can't win an NBA championship in September. You can only win it in June. But what can I do today in September that will take me and my team a little bit closer to earning the opportunity to play for a championship? So that's the. That's what process focus is. All right. You know, when I go to our workout today, how can I get 1% better?

And how can I encourage and support and motivate my teammates to get 1% better? And then how do we stack days and stack weeks and stack months until we've gotten to the time where we can actually, you know, compete for a championship? That's awesome stuff, man. That's absolutely awesome. And I was thinking, as you're talking, obviously there you hit nail and head on all those, but I think too drive is a factor. Right?

And how often do you see maybe someone that might have a lot of these traits, but they just don't have any drive, their goals aren't high enough, or they're just fine skating by. I'm sure, you know, whether it's sports or business, you know, there's people like that. There's just no drive. Well, it's so. I don't know when this will air, but at the time of this recording, I had an unbelievable honor a few days ago.

The the Washington Commanders, formerly the Washington Redskins, the NFL team here, my local NFL team, had me come talk to their players and coaches, which was just a super cool honor. It was a really, really fun experience. But one of the things that I talked to them about was the difference between motivation and discipline. And it is, it's just my humble opinion that motivation and drive are over indexed and over glorified in society. Today.

We talk way too much about the need for motivation, and that's why everyone creates motivational videos and all that. What's way more important is developing discipline. Discipline will always beat motivation in the long run. And the reason for that is motivation is a feeling. Discipline is a decision. Motivation is no different than any other feeling that we experience.

And even highly motivated people, like I would generally consider myself a motivated human being, but I'm not motivated 24 7, 365. I may have more motivation than the average person, but there's no one on this planet that is motivated. They're at level 100, 100% of the time, which means by definition, we're going to ebb and flow in our motivation. Well, if you only put in work when you're feeling motivated, it's hard to accomplish much. However, discipline, on the other hand, is a decision.

Every opportunity in our lives, every, every, everything we're going to do in our lives, we always have the chance to make a more disciplined decision, you know, with everything that we do. So discipline is something we get to choose. And if we choose it consistently, then we identify with being a disciplined person. But that's another thing that I think people often get wrong with discipline. People say to me all the time, like, oh man, Alan, I could never get up early and work out.

I'm just not that disciplined. And I'm like, discipline is not something that is preset. It's not like eye color or hair that was determined at birth or hair color that was determined at birth. Discipline is a decision in the moment. Now what you're telling yourself is a story. You've created this narrative and you're telling yourself, I'm not a disciplined person. And you may have a really long track Record that actually proves in the past you haven't made very disciplined decisions.

But that can change at any given moment. You know, and this isn't a PSA to tell people to wake up and work out, but every single person watching or listening to this right now is fully capable of waking up tomorrow at say, 6am and going for a 30 minute walk. Now, whether you do it or not is completely up to you. And there's no judgment for me if you don't. But every single person has the ability to make that decision if they choose. And it doesn't matter if you wake up feeling motivated or not.

You know, I am incredibly consistent with my physical fitness and my workout routines. In fact, I tally it up and I count what I do in a year and I probably work out 250 to 275 days a year out of the 365. I can promise you I am not motivated to work out on all 275 days. Maybe half of those if I'm lucky. But I still get in the workout because I'm disciplined, because I'm choosing to make a decision that my future self will thank me for.

I'm choosing to make decisions in the present moment that are in alignment with my core values and my standards. So ultimately, that's what discipline is all about. So if anyone watching this feels like they lack motivation or they lack drive, that's okay. Don't beat yourself up over that. Don't stack shame or guilt on top of that and make things spiral out of control.

There are plenty of people that don't always feel heavily motivated, but you still have the ability to flex that discipline muscle. And the very next decision you have to make in your life, whether it's, you know, should I look at Instagram or what should I eat for lunch, whatever the very next decision is, you have an opportunity to make the more disciplined decision. Man, that's all awesome stuff. Yeah, the I, I think it, I think it helps, given ourselves leeway.

The fact that you said you were, you know, you work out 250, 275 times a year, and maybe half those you're motivated to actually work out. I feel that, I felt that this morning when I worked out, I was not having it, but I'm like, I just got to get through it. That makes me feel better. And I'll probably be more motivated tomorrow. Or disciplined, I guess. Not motivated. Right. And feel more, you know, just more energy and feel like I want to work out. No, that's great stuff.

Having leeway I think, but just doing it. This is the problem that I had with kind of go off topic, but 75 hard I had a problem with because I saw too many of my friends do it for 75 days and they're like, yeah, this is great. 76 day. They went back to what they were doing before they started it. I hate. It's not a lifestyle. Right. And that goes back to discipline. 75 hard. To me, you could be disciplined for 75 days, but that's not discipline because it's a. For.

For a short period of time and then you're Back to square one. Day.

76. Well, you raise a great point. And that is discipline. Very similar to physical fitness is, is. And it's kind of like self awareness also. It's, it's not a destination. It's never something that you arrive at. It's. It's always continuous. You know, I, I can't put my stake in the ground right now and announce to the world, hey, everyone, I'm physically fit, and then stop eating well and stop working out and stuff, because I'll no longer be physically fit if I stop doing those things.

It's the same thing. Now what I do actually respect and appreciate about the 75 hard is that it tries to take the motivational part out of it because it says, I don't care how you feel for the next 75 days, you are going to get two workouts per day. One of them outside, you're going to drink a gallon of water, you're going to read 15 pages in a book. And I don't remember the exact checklist, but you're going to do these things for the next 75 days, whether you feel like it or not.

And that approach I can appreciate. And I do know as someone that does work out a lot. I think the reason there's a cap on that is even Andy Frisella and the rest of that crew would acknowledge that that pace is not sustainable to do every day of your life for the rest of your life. It's supposed to kind of shock you into, oh my gosh, these next 75 days are going to be brutal. And when I get three weeks into it, I'm going to think I'm going to quit, but I'm going to stick it out.

And then when you reach 75, the hope is, unlike your friends that you just mentioned, you're able to say, I want to continue to do this, but I'm now going to do it at a pace that's more appropriate to me. And to my life. So, you know, I think there are parts of 75 hard that are incredibly admirable. And I think it's, it's positioning is absolutely in the right place.

But yeah, I think your friends were under the delusion that they could put their flag in the ground and just say, I did it, now I'm done, and then go back to previous behaviors. That's one of the things I'm most proud of in my own life, is that I'm continuing to stack days and continuing to stack weeks and stack months and stack years. And now I'm at an age turning almost turning 50, I'm stacking decades. I mean, physical fitness has been an important part of my life, my entire life.

And yet my goal, and I set this goal two years ago, was for my 50th birthday. I wanted to be in the best shape of my entire life. So I set a three year goal. I set it two years ago. I'm on my last year right now of being in the best shape of my life at 50. And that does provide me some motivation. But what it does is it really encourages me to stay disciplined. And I know that I've got one year left to achieve that goal.

And what I do today will either take me a little bit closer to that goal or it'll take me a little bit further away. And my goal, every night before I go to sleep, I basically say some version of this to myself. I say, alan, you just traded 24 hours of your life for the progress that you made today. Are you happy with that trade?

And if the answer is yes, if I can look myself in the mirror and say I took a little bit, I took just a few inches step towards being in better shape, then I'm very proud of that. And, and, and once again, in full transparency, I'm not batting a thousand, I'm not getting straight a's, I'm not going 365 for 365. But if most days, if most days this year I can do something that inches me closer to that goal, then there's a very good chance I'll hit it.

And there's a very good chance that I'll have the fulfillment that comes along with pursuing something that's really difficult. Yeah, for sure. Curious, what's your typical day look like? Well, one of the things that I love, and it sounds kind of counterintuitive, but I love structure and I love routine. I love consistency. Most people that know me would actually consider me pretty boring because I do the same Things every day. I eat the same things every day. But that's what gives me comfort.

And I'm never here to try and preach to others that they need to be doing what I'm doing. So on one level, I have set routines and structures that really give me comfort that I thrive in. But the other thing that I love about my work is that every day inherently is going to be a little bit different because I have days when I'm home. I have days when I'm on the road to travel, to speak. I have days when I speak. I have days when I don't.

I'm amicably divorced, and I have three teenage kids, So I have some days when I have my kids and some days when I don't have my kids. So the reason I say that is I have a variety of different types of days, but each of those days, I've designed a certain system and a structure, too. So today, for example, is an off day from speaking, and I do not have my kids. So all I have is this podcast and a few other calls that are on my schedule.

So that day is going to look different than if I wake up in Orlando because I have a morning speaking engagement and I have to catch a flight home that night and then go watch my kids play basketball. So that's going to be a different routine. So if we were going to. If we were going to try to label it, which would be impossible, I. I probably have four or five different types of days based on those parameters, and then each of those days has a pretty specific routine of what I like to follow.

That's interesting. So you've almost got, like you said, four or five different days, and then you're disciplined with your routines for those different days. And that. It's a question that I've had to a lot of guests, like on vacation, family vacation, we go on trips. I need two days just to set myself in vacation mode, and I'm going nuts. Basically, in my mind, I'm just going nuts. It's gotten better. But I've never thought of it like that.

Like, okay, I've got three, four, five different types of days, and this is what my routine is going to look like. Yeah. And. And keep in mind, too, with these different types of days now, whether I have my kids or I don't, whether I have a speaking engagement or I don't, whether I'm traveling that day or not, each of those days still has some type of morning and evening routine. Almost all of those days still have some type of physical fitness.

You know, now if I'm finding that my body is exhausted, you know, I've worked out every day for the last five days. I'm a little sore, I'm a little run down. I will intentionally take a day off. So again, I don't want someone to hear this and say that I don't believe in days off. I absolutely believe in days off. I absolutely believe in skewing towards rest and recovery and rejuvenation. And I do listen to my body to see how I'm feeling. But. But each of those will have some component to it.

But it is just the way my mind works. I'm a very linear thinker. You know, we could almost make some type of grid. No speaking engagement, have kids, no speaking engagement, don't have kids, speaking engagement, have kids, speaking engagement, don't have kids, Vacation kids, vacation, no kids. Like we could. I could come up and then with each of those, I could say all, well, what am I going to do?

So today happens to be a day that most of my work will be this podcast and a couple other calls and then getting some work done here in my home office. And then outside of that, then I'll have the other things that I'll do in a couple weeks. I've actually got three speaking engagements in three different cities on three consecutive days. So that's going to be a little different of a rhythm and routine.

So I love combining the structure and the routine because that gives me, you know, that's actually where I operate best. But I'm flexible enough to know that every day is definitely not going to be the same and nor would I want it to be. Yeah, that's awesome. As simple as that is, that's. I've never heard that answer. Splitting them up, different days, different routines. That's awesome.

So obviously you went from training with basketball players to now more in the business business, personal development world. How'd that transition look like and what kind of gave you the confidence to think that, okay, just because I can do this with athletes, I can do this with business professionals?

Well, the reason for the change was I was starting to experience burnout. After doing the basketball performance work for almost 20 years, I just started to get burnt out on being in the weight room and being in the gym and focusing on improving athleticism. As much as that filled my bucket and I enjoyed it for almost two decades, I started to get burnt out. So that was the reason for making the switch. And not to cut you off, but what that if you don't Mind sharing what the burnout look like.

I just no longer was enjoying it. I was no longer excited to go to the gym. I no longer was, you know, pumped to go take players through workouts. I mean, I, I was very grateful for the relationships. But you know, when I in the, in the heart of that career, I mean, I would wake up in the morning and couldn't wait to get to the gym. Couldn't wait to hear the weight starting to clang and to hear sneakers squeaking on the court.

And then just over time, for whatever reason, very similar to how we were talking about motivation. I mean, this wasn't anything necessarily in my control. I just found myself being more interested and more fascinated and more curious about other things. And those other things happen to be leadership, building teams and teamwork and cohesion and collaboration. You know, so it really, my passion and my focus just started to veer into a different direction.

Keep in mind that most of my work was designed to help high school age male basketball players run faster and jump higher. And while that served a great purpose, that no longer fascinated me or struck me with the curiosity that really keeps one engaged. So I, I needed a new challenge. I needed to try something different. And you know, some of it you could probably just say was, was just being naive.

You know, I just blindly assumed that these principles that worked in basketball would work in business. And I'd always enjoyed public speaking. I've always enjoyed sharing ideas and concepts and articulating my perspective in front of large groups because I did a lot of that when I was in the basketball world. I just happened to be talking to basketball coaches and teaching them how to train their players. But it was always something I was interested in.

So I just figured this, this would be a great new challenge and a new direction to take. But it also had enough similarities to what I was doing before. You know, as I mentioned previously, I still consider myself kind of a supplemental team member where I'm not teaching sales techniques, I'm teaching the foundation so someone can apply sales techniques to a greater degree. So I still consider what I do. I'm like a performance coach.

I'm just not helping basketball players perform better on the court. I'm helping executives and entrepreneurs and managers and supervisors and sales professionals perform better in the boardroom and in their businesses. So it's kind of a similar role. I just have a completely different audience and a completely different way of conveying the message. But at the core, I'm still kind of doing the same thing which is pouring into others. So that they can be the best they can be at their craft.

Yeah, that's awesome. How much, I guess, personal development do you have on your end? And what's that look like? Are you constantly reading books? Are you constantly going to seminars? How are you constantly, I guess, evolving and growing yourself? Yeah, I've just been a huge connoisseur of the personal development space, the self help space. Yeah, I'm a voracious reader.

I listen to hours and hours of podcasts every single week, watch all sorts of documentaries, attend seminars, conferences, you know, anything I can. Because not only does that stuff help me sharpen my saw for my craft, but I also enjoy it. And, you know, I mentioned that I'm trying to be, you know, in the best shape of my life when I turn 50, but I'm not just talking about my physical shape. I'm also talking about my mental and my emotional and my spiritual shape.

I want when I turn 50, for that to be the best version of Alan Stein Jr. That has ever been on this planet. And then the other part is, and I say this with a huge smile because a lot of people roll their eyes. I actually believe I'll live to 100. And I believe I'll live an incredibly vibrant and vivacious life to 100. So with that in mind, I'm only coming up to halftime. My next 50 will be my best 50, and I have no doubt about that. Now with that said, I'm a realist.

I totally understand that time is not promised. There is nothing that promises me to even see tomorrow, much less see 100. But I'm still living and growing and improving and developing as if I got 50 more years to apply all of these lessons. And that's certainly my plan and my intention. So, you know, I want the 50 year old Alan to be the best version of himself.

Now the other part that I hope folks are understanding from this, unlike your friends that did the 75 hard when I reached that 50th birthday, I'm only going to step on the gas. I'm going to want the 51 year old Alan to kick the 50 year old Allen's butt. Like, this isn't something where I want 50 to be my peak. And then the next 50 years I'm going back down the mountain. No, what I'm telling you is at 50, I'm only halfway up the mountain in the first place.

But at that time it will be the highest that I've ever achieved. And then each successive year I'm going to climb a little higher and then the goal is to hit, you know, hit the peak, hit the apex of that mountain around 100 years old or maybe longer, who knows? So that's just the three year goal that I've set for myself. But that is not a finish line. That will be a time to reflect and appreciate and show gratitude if I do achieve my goal. And, and let's be honest, the goal is 100% subjective.

It's not like on my fifth, you know, I'm not going to take some type of standardized test on my 50th birthday or go through a battery. And I'm not going to go through the NFL combine or anything. Just on my 50th, am I going to be able to look in the mirror and say, alan, this is the best you've ever been, buddy. This is the best you've been mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. And we're just getting started, let's see if we can make 51 even better.

And that's, that's the approach I'll take. But that actually gives me energy, that gives me enjoyment, that gives me fulfillment. None of this is punishment to me. None of this. Am I looking like, ugh, I got to go work out today? It's no, I get an opportunity to stack another day towards my goal. I get to take another brick and put it on the wall. That will be Alan Stein Jr. And I am so excited for the opportunity to do that. That's awesome. That's absolutely awesome.

And you've said a few times there's no finish line. And I think when we're setting goals or have a vision in mind, and I know for myself, I've been caught up in it. Back in what, five, six, seven years ago, my goal was to become financially free. And then once I did, it was like, what's next? I hadn't thought like, what's next? After that, I was just dead set on becoming financially free, leave my nine to five.

And I probably, I don't want to say struggled, but I definitely had a transition where it was like, what is next? Right. And I still, probably at times still have that transition period. Do you see that often? Oh, absolutely. But it's, it's the difference between and. And Simon Sinek wrote a great book on this called the Infinite Game. It's the difference between a finite game and an infinite game. And a finite game.

Like most traditional sports, sports have a definitive start, a definitive stop. We all understand the rules, and whichever team has the most points on the scoreboard. When the game is over is declared the winner. That's a finite game.

Life, or business for that matter, is what's called an infinite game. It's much more evergreen. It's esoteric. There is no definitive start and stop. I mean, I guess technically birth and death would be starting and stopping, but, you know, there is no start and there is no stop. And your definition of winning in life might be different than my definition of winning in life.

Even if I walked into the nearest successful business right now and asked every member of that business to write down, what's your definition of winning in your business? I would probably see some different answers. So there is some, again, evergreenness to that. And technically, all of us are playing an infinite game. Now, within the infinite game, we have these kind of these markers and the year happens to be one. We can look at 2024 as a year and say, okay, did I hit my financial goals?

Did I hit my fitness goals, Did I hit my relationship goals? And I'm going to look at it in the context of a year, but that's only a small subset of the greater picture. You know, once again, in full transparency, I did not hit my speaking revenue goal for 2024. I fell short of it. I actually fell short of it in 2023 as well. Now, what's hidden behind that is in 2023, I fell short of my goal, but I doubled what I did the previous year.

So it was my best year by far, and I still undershot what I was hoping to achieve. And then I raised the bar a little higher for 2024 and I fell short again. So in the context of those parameters, one could say I lost. You know, I didn't meet the goal. But it's 2025 and now the slate's clean and I'm rocking and rolling once again. So I don't even look at any of that as a failure. I just look at the year mark is, hey, that's going to be a quick check in.

Let me check and see how I did on the path I was on. Okay, I'm a little bit behind where I'd like to be, but I got another chance to make up for it. It's, it's, it's very akin to running a marathon. You know, you run a marathon and you've set this goal of running the marathon in four hours and you get to each mile mark and you can check whether or not you are on pace to reach the goal of four hours.

And I don't know what that math is, but, you know, you might get to the third mile marker and be ahead of schedule and go, man, if I keep this pace up, I'm going to run this thing in 3 hours and 30 minutes. And then you might hit some down times and by the time you get to mile marker 10, you're like, oh boy, now I'm actually behind. I got to pick up the pace or it's going to take me four and a half hours to run it.

So all of those, you don't stop running the marathon because one mile didn't go on pace? No, you keep running and you just use these as different check ins until you get to the end. And then of course the beautiful part is it's just a marathon. So if you get to the end of the race and you didn't make it in four hours, oh well, you know, recover and sign up for another marathon and do it three months later, you get another crack at it.

So to me, I love the fact that we're playing an infinite game and that I can use these things as different check ins. Yeah, that's a great perspective. Are you. It sounds like when you're setting goals, you're setting them probably, you may be able to reach them, but they're probably a little bit. You have to really reach to reach them. Right. And you probably have in the back of your mind like, oh, this is probably going to be tough and maybe not impossible, but is really going to push you.

Is that right? That is 100% accurate and very insightful. I'm glad you mentioned that. I mentioned previously that there's a lot of aspects of my life that I'm very proud that I've evolved, that I do believe I am better today than I was at previous times. And I can say again, and I've said this several times in full transparency, in my younger years, in my 20s and my 30s, I set very low goals.

I didn't know it at the time and it came out of fear and insecurity, but I was so petrified of failure that I set such a low bar that I almost was guaranteed to hit it. And that gave me some false sense of satisfaction and I just wasn't pushing myself. I wasn't stretching or challenging. So now as I'm trying to have much more of an abundant mindset and I no longer worry about failure in that traditional sense.

Yes, I set very ambitious goals and I know going into it the chance of hitting it's pretty low, but as I said before, I set a really high speaking revenue goal. I missed it by 15% and I still did twice as much as I'd ever done in any previous year. So it just depends on what you want to focus on. I'm going to focus on the fact I doubled my business and this is the best year I've ever had. I'm not focusing on the fact that I fell 15% short.

So for me, I'm secure enough now in my life and confident enough and optimistic enough that I'm okay if I fall short of my goals because they're my goals. No one else is holding me to this. No one else is saying, alan, you have to hit this goal or else. No, these are all self imposed and I'm really trying to limit these limiting beliefs that I've had previously in my life, which again, at that time I was doing the best I could.

I had some deep rooted insecurities and a very scarcity mindset and I had some issues that I'm continuing to work through and work past. But yeah, now I absolutely stretch myself and have no problem setting lofty goals and have no problem if I don't reach them. And now it's still my preference to hit goals. And yeah, when I, when I tally up all the numbers and I see I fall short. Yeah, I give myself the space and grace to feel however I'm going to feel in that moment.

But then after that I just move on to the next play. The concept of next play is something that I originally learned when I read Coach K's book Leading with the Heart back in the late 90s. But I actually saw it put into practice when I worked at DeMatha Catholic High School for a coach named Mike Jones. And he would say and make this hand gesture, next play.

Dozens and dozens of times, every workout, every practice, every film session, in every game because he wanted the players to move from the play that just happened because you can't do anything about that and refocus your lens to the play that is right in front of you, what's right in front of you right now. And that's what the Next Play concept is all about.

So I didn't meet my goals in 2024. Next play. That's it. And, and to me, that mindset has become incredibly liberating and I apply it to every area of my life. Yeah, that dude, that's absolutely awesome. Well, and I think it's a muscle too. Right? And you obviously, you touched on that. It's a muscle. And I, growing up, I think especially we're somewhat in the same age, we weren't really taught all this. Right.

So now it's trying to break old habits and being okay with not necessarily failure, but not hitting your goal and still being happy with what you've done. But that's a muscle that you've got to train and get used to. I think, you know, we can all relate to that. Absolutely. And it's really. It's just. It's reframing the word failure. I mean, you're right. As a product of someone that basically my most formative years were growing up in the 80s and the 90s.

At that time, I was raised in a society and a household that viewed failure as the F word. Like, failure was the worst thing. You didn't want to fail on a test. You didn't. You didn't want to get cut from the team. You didn't want the girl to say no when you asked her to the prom. Like, all of those were devastating failures. And I've worked really hard to rewire my brain to look at all of those things as just opportunities.

And if I fail the test or I don't make the team or the girl says no, it's just a learning opportunity. And in the moment, it still might sting in the moment, it still sucks in the moment, it's not my preference. But I've learned to quickly recover and bounce back and realize none of that is permanent. So, to me, I don't even really use the word failure anymore, other than a shared terminology to discuss what we're talking about. I don't look at any of this stuff in my life as a failure.

At the end of the day, I am doing something I love to do, that I'm fairly decent at, that I find meaning in, that I believe adds values to others. I love who I do it with. I love who I do it for. I love all the opportunities it affords. I'm healthy. I have three wonderful children. I have great relationships. I'm financially free enough to live the life I want to live on my terms. Like, life is pretty good.

I wouldn't allow anyone to even label anything that I just said, any aspect of my life, as a failure, because it's not. Now, do I still have room to grow? Absolutely. Can I still improve and develop in every one of those areas? You bet I can. And I'm so excited for an opportunity to do that. So there's a difference to me with being content and being complacent. I am incredibly content with my life.

I am so grateful for the opportunities, for the relationships, for the experiences that I have in my life, but I'm not anywhere close to being complacent. Do not go sticking me under museum glass, because I am not done. I still got a lot of work to do, but at the time, I'm. I'm content enough where I. I'm thankful for where I am in my life, and I'm thankful for who I have in my life, but I'm not complacent. So I don't view those two things as synonyms. Oh, that's awesome, man.

It's absolutely awesome. This has been. I'm gonna have to. I don't listen to any podcast, but I'm gonna have any of mine. But I'm gonna have to go back and listen to all. This has been absolutely awesome. So before we start to wrap up, give us a cool story with an NBA grade or. Or a famous coach or doesn't have bnba, but someone that household name that just cool story that. That you've encountered. Well, here's what I'll do.

I'm going to give you kind of an abbreviated version of my favorite story, and then I'll encourage all of your viewers and listeners to go over to my YouTube channel and Stein Jr on YouTube and you can watch a much more theatrical production of it. But I open almost every speaking engagement talking about the first time I met Kobe Bryant. And this was back in 2007 at the Nike Skills Academies. And I had a chance to watch Kobe go through a very early morning private workout with his trainer.

And I remember being very surprised at the time that he was just doing such basic movements. And when I asked him at camp later that day why a player of his stature, you know, basically the best player in the world, why he was doing such fundamental movements, he said something that changed my life forever.

He said, the reason I'm the best player in the world is because I never get bored with the basics. And ever since that day, I have been on a mission to help high performers in every area of life. Focus on the fundamentals, get back to the basics. As the sign above my head says, simplify success. And that's what I try and do in my own life. That's what I try and do on stage. What I do on page and what I preach and what I teach is to get everyone to untether from the unnecessarily complex.

Focus on the basics, Focus on the fundamentals. Simplify success, and keep on pushing forward. And if you again, like to hear the more theatrical version of that story, just go to YouTube,.com AllensteinJr. And you can see a few versions of it. That's awesome. Yeah. When you talk basic fundamentals with him, I've seen videos where he's literally pivoting without a basketball. Yeah. Which is, you know, to think about an NBA, the best player in the world to do that just. It's insane.

So, last three questions here. What's one thing that you're better at than anybody else in the world? I don't know about being better than anyone else in the world, but I know something that. That is one of my superpowers. I actually have. I have three superpowers. One, I care, and I care a lot. Hopefully you felt that in my passion in our discussion today. But caring matters.

Number two, I consider myself a disciplined person because I choose to make very disciplined decisions in every aspect of my life. And number three is I'm very consistent. Consistency is a superpower for me. And when you take caring plus discipline plus consistency, you can do some pretty good things. And it's not for me to compare myself to anyone else. So I have no idea where I rank in the world on any of those things, but those are three of my superpowers. Awesome. What's.

What's next for you? I'm actually working on my third book at present, and it will come out in November of 2025. So I'm working on the manuscript. Need the manuscript done by the end of March so that we can be on pace to launch in 2025. The. The exact title and premise and structure is still a little bit yet to be determined, so I can't disclose that quite yet, but I'm excited. This will absolutely be the best work that I've ever put out in the world. Awesome. That's awesome.

Yeah. And last question is, obviously you've got a couple books. You got YouTube page, you got an Instagram page. Where can. Where can people find you? My website is the hub of everything I do. So anyone, if you're watching or listening, if you're interested, if you own a business or you hold an event and you think this message would be helpful to your audience, you can go to allensteinjr.com and on there, you'll find all of my social handles.

You'll find my email links to YouTube, links to both books. Anything you'd want from me, you can find it. Alansteinjr.com it's awesome. We'll put that in the show notes, too. Alan, again, appreciate you coming on, man. This has been an absolutely amazing show, and we'll see you guys next time. Thanks for following, subscribing and listening to. This episode of the Do More podcast. Hosted by John Farling. To learn more or ask questions, go to L Far for investing. Com.