Brad Oakes, to Bairnsdale!

All right, welcome to the debrief. It's Stay O'Neill here with my sergeant in arms Brah.

It looks hello reporting.

Going for a drive to a little game.

They drive back with Caledon de Breed. It's Caldon d Breath. It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton Breath.

We're here just to me and you know Henry, No, Peter Oson, No, sna Sonya, no one. And where we going, Brad?

We're going to Brandsdown, Bainsdale, the Forge Theater, Man.

Victoria, three and a half hours east.

It's a long way.

It is a long way, isn't it.

Just stop to the servoy then? And I don't know you want to pie? So I don't know where I'm going to get dinner.

I just don't know. Yeah, well the Bends is pretty big town.

There's a big town. But there's a kind of a timing issue, isn't there. Yeah, well it's getting there and doing a sound check and all that.

But we aren't in the davemobile.

So there's probably like a lot of bountiful food secreted around in here.

Yeah's AIChE somewhere.

Like if we have a crashy airbag pops out, I get hit by fifteen wagon wheels.

Which aren't they good anymore?

Yeah?

Still not podcast? Yeah wrong podcast? And also you know you get one from a cake shop, they're really good now yeah, it's all Queensland thing to make wagonund have.

You ever eaten vanilla ice cream using a wagon? Will know? It's very nice, very nice, very good.

Tip. I don't have sweet No, you don't have a sweet tooth.

No, this is all savory well savory. Wow.

So you don't ever buy like a chocolate.

Bar, I will ever know? And then I haven't been in chocolate. But it's kind of like, you know, it's it's I failed to see why people get so excited about it. Okay, right, give me a pizza and I will do anything.

May as well.

We'll get tonight nor we normally like when we went to Chep we went to Moduro. We got those old school pizzas. They are the best, you.

Know we had. I think we had a good pizza last year and you somewhere too.

Remember the last time I went to Bansty there was a pizza disaster at that pub.

That's what I was.

That.

I don't know if I knew people have taken it over, but well, you.

Know, look, I think I was spoken about their pigeon disaster before, you know, about when they crowned the scene on officially opened Melbourne blew the pigeons. There were two two outdoor pit bosses or whatever, and one of them said release the doves and the other one said turn on the final sculptures.

Massacred them and they got fined a lot of money and it was very tragic and so on. So I feel like this was almost of that scale that they've just gone.

We'll get Dave O'Neill down here in Bensdale and everybody who buys a ticket gets a free pizza or get some pizza with it. Well, let's why don't we get eat machine that makes two pizzas at once and see how long it takes us.

Yeah, it didn't work anyway, They needed Jesus, they needed something. We of course have to mention on new podcast Slippery Slope, which which happened because of this touring, that silly of Wordsworth production has been organized in these regional tours for us, and we went to Mount Isa and what happened?

What happened brat what we found in Mount Isa was We got there very early, couldn't check in our hotel. A woman from the municipal council who was kindly driving us around, told us a wonderful tale about the water slide that was late.

Yeah, so they wanted a water slide. That's a whole saga in itself, and then because there was opposition on the council and then well they ordered it from Turkey, where water slides now get made. We learned, you learned so many things from this and basically there was an incident in the Sewers Canal and pirates were involved.

And so we've done a true crime.

Yeah, it's true crime. We're not the next Cereal.

Or I mean, we're not women, but we will. We aren't rattling this crime.

We both listened to that Hamish podcast, Who the Hell Hamish?

Who the Hell?

This is a great podcast by the guy from the Australian. We're like, we're pretty much going for his job. Yeah, well that's I'm surprised. We're not going to do a Q And at the end of this on the slippery slope, where which are the thousands of people turning up going? We don't care about your stand up, tell us more about the water slide of Mount Eier.

You've been waiting by the final week for six minutes, George, Next, George, Dave, Dave O'Niel.

You can be Ian Leslie and I'll be out of it, out of it.

Yeah, I'm I'm Dave O'Neill, I'm Brad Oaks. This is six minutes. Well it's not forty two minutes. But anyway, Look, the.

Good thing about that podcast is a short one only, it's only a four parter. But have a listen. Let's you'll hear me and Brad.

There may be a bonus. You never know, there may be a bonus, you know, because worldwide conspiracy and.

I could uncover other things, exactly different things.

Maybe maybe water slides are going missing all over the Giant.

We're into argon, Brad.

And so when we're talking about the water slide here people, we're talking about a massive, a big one.

Hey, let's just reminisce about doing gigs of that pub with the late Dave Grant. Was it that pub? Yeah, wasn't that room there?

Royal?

This one there. I've got gigs in that room right there.

I did one in there once with a whole lot of that's you did well, I did well, and they didn't do well, and they couldn't say anything. All the way back to Melbourne.

There was this one too.

How was that one? There was a saloon bar around the corner. Yes, we did comedy.

There, and also that nightclub. It's called I should remember. I make jokes about it. It's got a sunken dance floor. It's now a functions center. Brad.

Oh, yes, it's called the.

The hang On. I can't remember what's called.

I remember it was that part of your Manhattan. I tell room.

If I'm around here, I would do it.

Yeah.

This is a McDonald's where they often have a bouncer and a.

Velvet bounces two bounces and two bounces and the velvet and if you really want upset on me mate, I just want to warp.

The Tarragon one. It's called the Another Paradise. The so many times I remember it. By the end of it, I'm having a noble moment. We call this weather podcast. There's another podcast that's all you do so.

Well.

You know, Glenn Robbins will be listening to the Slippery Slope podcast and be correcting you at nauseum. Oh no, he was lying there like that's wrong. That's wrong, because you often correct Glenn, so I've corrected him, yeah, twice.

It does. It's it's something that I've desisted from. I no longer do it.

Because he's one of the kings of comedy.

Well, he's a nice man, Glenn.

Of course, we're the nice guys are comedy.

I will continue to correct dickheads.

Yeah, it's good.

As I us. I mean, I'm bitten by the dog the other day and outside this cafe, and I was. I messaged somebody on Facebook and I said, they said, here, you're right, I said, yeah, but I felt really bad for the woman who was pushing the baby in the pram past me. When I told the dog what I thought of, I called it a non human I mean a human name.

You gotta be careful with my sort of dog.

Was It was an American pit ball. It seemed friendly, and I I was, yeah, I was over confident. Was I'm not blaming the dog, I'm not blaming the owner. I made the mistake of thinking that I was a dog whisperer, and I'm not. And so I'll just go back to just complimenting dogs.

Now, no idea.

You're a fine looking fella. Don't get out of the car.

I find any of those pitbull kind of types of dogs, keep away from them. You know, I know people love them, but I'm more.

Likely to diet at the teeth of a chihuala pit boards are You're.

Going to die at the teeth of Mitzi rather than Satan or Rocky exactly? Yeah, well, yeah, you know, one of their dads at schools a vet and he said different areas of Melbourney have different types of dogs. So bay Side's got all the white fluffy ones, he said, and out north and west it's all it's all Satan rocky pit bulls.

And yeah, yea.

Alsatians Bayside where it's sort of where you live in that which is the Posha kind of area. Yeah, they are more white fluffies.

There's a good chance, like if you want to, you know, apply logic to it, there's a good chance that the places where they have the Satans, they do have their little white fluffy.

Dogs, but only for a limited die. Yeah. Well you know how people feed, like you know, there's mice.

Yeah.

In fact, you might in fact move to.

A suburb that has the more miniature toy dog just to feed your rum.

Yes, great day, like I saw in the Pitchhop yesterday, they have frozen rats and to feed your snakes or whatever.

They Yeah, that's that's that great mice. That's that great joke. But the kid who goes, excuse me, it goes, excuse me, do you have a bunny rabbit? I want to get a bunny rabbit, and then goes there going the picture goes sure it would you like a nice fluffy white one or a black rom and he goes, I don't give I don't think my rattlesnake gives a fuck.

What that's funny.

I've heard that. I know there.

You got a new joke.

There was no one of mine.

No, I know that, but yeah, it's yeah, it's so because I house sat when I finished my AGC. I house sat with muscall but former promoter in Ellwood down in Glen Huntley Road and one of the one of the things that these people friends of his mum's, went over to England.

So we housed that for three weeks and the goldfish dive.

How do you replace it?

I'm not knowing that. Do you remember there used to be that big.

Pet place on the corner of el had the big yellow Johnt. So I went in there and the day before they were coming back, I said, I hope they're not listening. I mean it's, you know, as statue of limitations, it's forty years and they said. I said to the guy, I need to get some replacement goldfish and he goes, sure, do you want to have a look at them?

And I said no, and I pulled him out and he laughed and he said, you yeah, the dead ones.

I brought the dead one and he said, no one ever does that. It just makes sense to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, as you the people knew or I don't think so. We had to when we were younger, me and Karen had one of our friends, Marta. She lived in a block of flats in Hawthorne and she had rats right right and one of the rats, one of the rats got out. I couldn't find it. And then the next week we came there was a notice saying rat plague in the flats. That's a rat And then the rat tuned through the electrical cord on the fridge and turned it off.

Yeah, naughty ratty. And how can we don't die when they do that.

Yeah, I know. Anyway, more rat stories as a rat in the kitchen. There's a rat in the kitchen. What am I going to do? I'm gonna eat that rat? And you know when that song came out U forty, it was seen as a political band for a while. Yeah, everyone was saying, oh, that's about the guy who undermined

Yeah, in my kitchen.

I want to do I'm going to eat that.

Right, It's like.

You'd be forty And people go, I wonder what the UB says unemployment benefits.

Yeah, yeah, well that's why there's two versions of You Be forty. The two are now there's one with Ali the ead singer, and there's one with all the other original members and they had his brother singing for a while.

I was wondered if that invalidated, but got UB.

Forty because a you Be forty you can't trademark it.

Apparently No, I meant because once they started getting paid, I have to go, well, you know.

Yeah, we're not working.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, they got what's another form for working?

See? This is what I struggle with. This is like I'm not o CD.

Called word cover.

I don't ship.

Yeah another stitch, you're not.

You struggle with what I struggle with, just a little like things of logic like that.

Yeah, it makes sense.

It's it's the it's the kind of world of crooked paintings.

To me, it's like, well, you know, it makes sense when they were ten or eight unemployed guys from Birmingham.

Well you know what ATM machine? You know that's that's automatic machine machine. You know that kind of thing.

It's just oh yeah, it's funny.

It's well, it's it's it's funny to some of it's irritating to others.

It is.

Anyway, bands, what are we expecting? Brod's in a theater. Well, I've done this theater before. I think it's quite big. Yeah, going by a track record, we probably won't fill it.

Well, that's I feel like we should put that poster's come along stretch out.

Yeah yeah, plenty of b O'Neil and oak show.

Wow, I've got billing. You know that.

That's what happened when I'm doing a show, doing a show Wednesday, whatever the day is due, and I rang the woman. I said, an Emeralds Emerald.

At the Paradise Valley Hotel. Yeah, Clematus, you can do my joke.

What's the sober around it sounds like a disease? Is a chlamydia? What's it calling in Martin?

Yeah?

Or the joke I'm gonna do, which is, wow, I couldn't I couldn't even find it, but I.

Know there's a basin next to the toilet. I do that one.

She got me to.

She got me to organize the gig and I just messaged them and I just said, you're gonna put me on the post because they put Richard Stubbs him and it just said and another comedian. I thought, I'm just Ice Lad. I'm just being disappeared in So yeah, that's but yeah, So you're going why Yeah, And we've got this big podcast that's just dropped episode one this week.

And it's I'm going to Japan and you have to do press about it. That's why I'm going. Yeah, there's a big interest in Japan about mount.

Isa, and I'm going back to mant Isa in July.

To the hill cop of the Heat. That'll be funny.

Yeah, and I'll just be like you know, Erica will pick you.

Up and just be shaking her head like fuck you guys, or should pick everybody else up?

And yeah, no, I'm picking that scumbag.

Yeah that's what you are.

Yeah, you ruined man, eyeser.

We're gon We put them on the Putt town.

So have a listen to slippery Slope. All right, Well, who knows what we'll find in bands sales a Saturday night.

That's good.

So there was an article on the paper because David, who runs a big Los lunchdown here, which I've done in bands a few times, he took a photo and sent it to me.

So I love the way you can't say Bandsdale Vans. What do I say Barnsdall? And you can't say Lasagna either? How do you say that Lasagna?

Lasagne? I can if I hear someone say it, but I say Lasagne. I said it as a joke. Now it's just become what I say. Yeah, Lasagna.

Ironically moved yourself into.

That everything and everything. Yeah, you hate that too, don't you? I hate it all right, Well, all right, soon back in and we'll see Brand's gottat his pie. I've got to eat my TWISTI is now.

So sh to do.

I mean, we may find another local crime down here that we can do our next slippery slope. That's we drove past gun By a park. There's a big water slide there. Maybe we should look into that.

Well, we can be maybe looking at other crimes, Davey, you know, like whatever happened to that that training from Melbourne to the Melbourne Airport? Oh?

Yes, did Brad and Dave doing a gig at the vans Our hotel and the pizza fiasco causes to close down? Pizza fiasco?

Yeah, you can't say fiasco.

I can't say a lot of words. I know, I've got Okay, see what you think about this. I thought about doing this as a routine because now when people have issues, it seems to be on their CV and the first thing they tell people, Like when I was a kid, I went to a speech therapist, right because I was a twin so we couldn't speak normally and so, but you would not tell anyone that it was a secret.

Imagine if your problem was nodding and winking. Yes, you've just been a school going how many people?

Yeah, yeah, maybe that's the joke.

Yeah, maybe that's it.

Well, you know, every time I went to the chemist to buy chuadrell, they gave me conducts.

That's an old joke, not.

But it does seem to be front and center now. People put on their cvs like, you know, I've got ADHD and everyone's got ADHD. Yeah everyone, Yeah, Yeah, I get to meet someone that, but they're all self diagnosed. Well except huge, He've got diagnosed over the phone, really telehealth, Yeah, over the phone. Yeah. One of my kids tells me he's got ADHD. Never been diagnosed but believes he's got it.

Yeah, it's kind of like, uh, what what what's the what's.

The comparison to when we were growing up. Well, it's like I was just like I'm just lazy and rude. Yeah, I know these people out there do have ADHD.

Yeah, you know it's it's you know, it's full on if you do have it.

But it's I don't know, it's just I don't know.

I think it's like when you're a kid and you said you're an Abba fan and everyone just went, I'm a member fan. And then when you went deep with them, like I don't know any records or anything. Are you not an Amber fan?

Do you know what you said? You were that? See that's where our works divert divert.

You went an a fan?

Well, I would not have it.

I was.

I would've just been nodding and winking.

I was a David Bowie fan.

That's cool.

There's no crossover, I know that.

But it was a way to meet girls. And again, David had all the girls.

You know. The other way to meet girls was actually to meet girls. Yeah, to talk to him, just records.

Sat and jumps dance.

What a band? I'm going to the Abber show in London. Holograms. You know, I can't I can't wait. Chose the dance floor as opposed to the seats.

Dares she go in there to see a hologram.

Yeah, it's a live band. Okay, live band plus a hologram the original four Man. You can't tell me that's not gonna be awesome. In fact, I might do a hologram tonight. In bands, I just sit backstage. Oh, we'll do it. We'll do a low fi. I get a cardboard cat.

I just do my voice. I just want anybody out there who's listening.

Revering the same Bansteans Bensdale.

All right, we'll be back.

I got Do you work on a Snowy River bro Yes, Bensdale? Right.

My neighbor did the Nazi He was I don't know if he was a Nazi.

He was worked as a Nazi.

He was Polish and he was in camps and stuff and he's dead now stand but he said he worked on the Snowy River project. There were always fights because people would recognize him and yeah, not good anyway.

This guy's a bit of a warring what's he's all over the road.

Just keep away from him, all right, sing well're gonna have band cell go band c bens.

Rosale, Ben as in chub b a I r n bens Dale Bandsdale, Ben's Ben Ben ban Dale.

Okay whatever, okay, all right, we're.

Back on the debrief. We done Bandsdale the Forge Theater. How was it, Brad, Well, it was good.

It was lovely. I found it a little tough.

It was a big theater with a smaller crowd, it was. But they were so they were good though by the time, well you warn them up. By at the time I came on, they were great.

Do you know what it was like?

You know, I mean you got a really kind of nobby restaurant and you get a big plate with a tiny meal.

That's what it was like, the whole cuisine.

Yes, but they did at least sit right in the middle.

They were good.

They you know, they they laughed a couple of times. I thought, oh, yeah, here we go.

But I think, you know, and I probably said this before, I think that they like, maybe they wanted you. And one of the happiest moments we had was when.

I went here, he is, ah, don't talk yourself down. You've got a big round of pause, and I said your name. Yeah, but no, they were good fun.

I did do some districts. Yes, it's interesting.

They didn't really like dirty stuff. Well they give that a bit of a oh that kind of thing when I did anything a bit risque, that's for sure.

Yeah, well I didn't really notice that. I suppose now you say that I probably should have worn pants.

Yes, no, it was.

It was funny and like I should have made this clear to people are listening. It was job done and everything like that. It's just that I think we've mentioned this before. Sometimes you just to expect the laughs just to keep coming a roll and just I just didn't get a roll on. I just I worked for every single laugh of d and I'm a lazy man. Yeah, I'm not expecting that.

Tell you what though? The spread in the green room, well man. I sent a photo to Kitty Flight again and she said, yeah, that's impressive.

That's yeah.

When you said I'm going to send a photo to Giddy, I assumed you met your daughter and I thought, really, Dave, just let her live alife.

Kidd is always interested in what is backstage, because sometimes we've been to venues.

It hasn't even been a water exactly.

They had to get water out of the tap, which is fair enough in their local councils. But this one had three types of chips, two types of M and ms, bags of lollies, Fredo frogs, chocolate rolls, oh Man drinks, the fridge. I got to rise his lemonade for the right home.

And they should have maybe had just like a big jar of insulin.

And yeah, and.

There as well oh Man.

And then and then I tea. So I was starving, and I said to the guy, where can I get something quickly around here? He goes, go up the avco the ampole and they'll cook whatever you want. And so I go there and there's a Chinese guy who I started talking to.

He was really interesting.

He said he was a Chinese backpacker, and because he cooked the dim Simson fish in front of me and we got the big South Melbourne ones and you'd a bit of fish, and he kept sticking the thermometer in it. And I said to him, mate, I got plenty of time. You don't have to. I'm one in a rash because I'd rather be well cooked, you know. Anyway, And he said, look, why you want to have this? This chicken for free. He gave you some chicken tenders and I'm eating that

You know.

You know when you said he hips in a thermometery, and I would have I wouldn't have been able to help myself.

I would have said, is it is it not? Well?

Yeah?

Is it really poorly?

Those dim seems bad? The world was wrong anyway.

He was telling me. I said, what are you doing? In bean style?

He said he worked on a farm for a year. He said that you know where the backpackers get a two year, two year visa if they worked for a year on a farm.

And I go, what was that like?

It was a ship job. He said, it was really hard. He said, this is much better in the servo.

Yeah.

You don't see a lot of people saying it's not a ship job, but it's it's that's a very kip same thing I think people get. People do get kind of trapped almost here, like when they just go so why didn't you leave?

And I just ran out of enage yeah, yeah, it was interesting.

The last time we were in advanced it's interesting.

But anyway, the spread was great, and so we we finished the gig. I've got like two bags of M and m's, a drink and some lalla and I walk out the back door and there's a few punters standing around and this girl woman Coast, Are you clearing out the green room?

Are you?

And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, she goes, I put them there, and it was Rachel, who manages the place. Yes, oh, anyway, signed a poster for a young man who loved comedy.

Yeah.

Great.

When put everything back, No, we didn't.

But the young man said, I loved that joke about your penis three degrees something.

Did you do a joke about that about what? When I said, I fell down the cliff? Oh, they he was talking about your joke.

Yes, I don't know what he was talking about.

I said, I fell down the cliff.

I lost all my fingernails, I lost skin off my face, and I lost eight inches off my penis. And then I say to the audience, well, look I can't claim that because that would give me negative three inches.

Ah that's what he said. He goes. My favorite joke was negative three inches. I'm like, oh, good one he's talking.

About I've done that joke for years.

Oh well, well, Jake, well I just lost it after that.

Well do you know what was great was I did the joke about the secret. You know, I talk about the philosophy.

And visualizing, and this woman was out, I know, and I went and.

She had lent and I said, because she interrupted me twice, yeah, And I said I see you know, do you?

And she goes, yeah. I said what that? She goes, it's the secret, And I said yeah, but why how do you know? She said I have the book?

Yeah, the book.

And I said I really, so can you tell us about it? She goes, I haven't. I can't. And I said, what is that? She said, I've never opened the book.

She should have said it's a secret.

Well she'd already tried that one, and I wasn't having it right, But I just said to her, well, it should have on. That's probably the first thing that she should have on the book is you must open this book, because it's absolutely.

Isn't it Just like, yeah, you visualize your yeah, you manifest, manifest whatever you want to ask for universe.

You say hey, universe, can I have that eight inches back on my dish?

But also you make a board too with pictures of a Mercedes or if you want done. Yeah, yeah, a visualization board, isn't it?

Well? I don't know. I mean, like a lot of things, I know a little bit about it, but I certainly I mean.

By a Melbourne woman who worked at Channel nine.

I know. And yeah, and it got promulgated by Oprah Winfrey and that's why I took off. But to be honest, Dave you you've seen my life. What if I manifested?

Are you still doing comedy? You manifested that kick tonight?

I manifested those lollies in thee.

That that bit of fish with the thermometer in it, ept saying him, I've got plenty of time. You don't have to.

There's no rush here. Is it poorly?

Is it poorly?

But no, I didn't look it was good. It's this is one of the longer.

You should do that and stand up about the hormometer because my son bangs on about that all the time. It's a master chef thing. Yeah, there always had his thermo because we should get a phomometer dad for cooking roast, and then I'm like, I don't need a thermometer.

Yeah, we've got you. Yeah, just make him eat the first bit.

Yeah.

If he kills over, whack it back in the oven for ten minutes.

I have that chicken that was there all day doesn't come back.

And that's why when you said do you want it?

Because the worst ever food poisoning I have was some chicken and sat in a bamery. No. No, And that's why I threw up so badly. I got two black eyes. Oh, I've never thrown up that violently in my life. In fact, it wasn't two black eyes. I ended up with a little like a little mask like I was a raccoon. Oh, but it was red because I burst all the blood vessels in it. That's one violence that's bad. Anyway, we're on the ship at both.

Ends day Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a gastro at both ends. That's a Tom Seager joke for you. I used to call him gastro on the foot field because you were at both ends. Yeah, that's funny. Anyway, we did it, and driving down here, some guy never seen this before. There was a guy in a ute towel gaining us right on a single lane highway like and like, you know, being quite aggressive, so over and high beam and stuff, and he overtook us. So then I put

Face reverse high beam and I reckon it was probably off an aircraft.

It was very bright.

Yeah, we know the headlights that those planes.

I've never seen that.

It's the brightest light I've ever seen on the road.

But that says to me he has a lot of road rage incidents. And he's put the line into caunteract them.

Yeah, oh yeah, he's yeah, because I was I was looking at my phone at the time or something like that, and all of us something I can see through my hand.

You thought we were getting kidnaped by aliens.

Yeah.

The finally they've come to promise, finally some action.

I've got my good underwear on.

It's all, who are they going to probe first?

I know.

Who wants at the least, who does a joke?

Now?

When the when the aliens land America, they go take us to your leader and and the guy's like, oh man, you don't want to nah, you know when I meet him is a joke about that.

I don't know, but I saw somebody do a bit about how they don't they don't know, we don't probe anymore.

We've got better technology.

Because it always was that what I wasn't been askings all the time about that, like yeah, why they putting things of your bom you know, really you've got the technology to fly here thousands and thousands of light years and then they're going to you know, somebody's going.

To be yeah, that's weird. You should ask the questions. And we're going to get to eating out lollies.

Well, we're going to stop off and do a little aad Sale.

We're coming to Sale. Everyone. You're in your pooon, you're in man Isaer with Billy and Sonya and.

And and.

So if you're in Queensland, go along. And then me and you were doing and with with the Gang, we're doing Sale and we're doing Allbrey yeah first of the gang and yeah, then you and I doing Perth. Yeah in Perth, we're coming to mandra Guys Nils and I'm doing Broom and cool.

As well, and yeah Davidson takes some fighters and room for me yeah, yeah, so yeah, we'd be going on.

But yeah, so the key Okay, well well Brad, look.

First of all, I want to shout out to the texts to Joe and Patch just so so no stress whatsoever. Nothing was a problem. Everything was cool, they know, everything unobtrusive and just yeah, just a beautiful little theater.

So it went well.

It was we're going to return when we were really famous and sell it out. It's seven living on the way home.

What didn't go well, sorry, I'll just take one other things that work well for me was it wasn't freezing cold on that stage.

No, it was warm because of cold backstage.

Yeah, but it wasn't you know, quite often of those theaters because you know, that stage was a third of the room, massive.

Wasn't it.

We could have done Oklahoma on it.

Well, we're could have had a jet Star terminal there. So that very well.

And yeah, the audience was quite nice. That's so that's what worked. Yes, what didn't go well then, I don't know. I just I feel like all that heat was on the stage rather than directed at me. Yeah, and it's so you look all I'm all I'm bitching about, folks, is wasn't a bad gig. It was just wasn't it wasn't super easy, and well else didn't go well.

I don't know all the organizational hazards get in the way.

No one just said, what might not going to go well? Is the amount of lollies we've eaten?

Yes, organizational hazards pretty good? One pretty well?

Yeah? Yeah, I think that somebody should invent some other form of travel.

To get back from bandstyle. How can we do better next time?

Look, I felt like we didn't need to do any better.

Get a helicopter, Yeah, get a HOLLI should be like trumpet player James. He's got his pilot license and flies people, flies to his gigs. All right, So here, Tommy little he's got his pilots. Give us a left, Tommy. We'll even let him do five.

Yeah and great, g where's the gig.

Fly back? I don't think his helicopter license soon.

I think he's working on Jesus she was. I haven't even got you know, I can't give it a car license and I can't reverse the trailer. Really lost my license.

Points.

No, a little sneaky little trick which was in Victoria. I don't know if this happens elsewhere.

I didn't know this.

Because I had a few parking fines because just so you know, I'm not I'm not the wild alone your boy. I just find parking fines a bit rich because I think if you don't provide enough parking, then of course people looking down at default. But anyway, I said to myself, Okay, I've paid enough parking fines.

I've had two hart attacks. I'm not going to pay any more parking pines.

And no, because you just die with that debck.

Yeah.

And and I had some uh I read light fine, and I had a speeding fine, and I said, well I'll pay.

Those, you know, yeah, because they have.

So anyway, I get a letter saying that if I don't pay all of it, my license will just get suspended.

And my red shoe.

You can't even sell your car, you read Joe's it's not the car, you're redho suspended.

And I went, oh, you're dirty buggers. So I have to play it. So yeah, I'm paying them off.

Show you a payment plan or payment plan.

And apparently I did what everyone else does is I got a payment plan. And then a few weeks later I rang up and said Can I change my payment plan?

Can I get a payment plan for the payment plan?

Exactly?

Yeah? Yeah, anyway, just say, people, don't you know I'm not a I don't think I'm a socially irresponsible person, but I am.

I am a reckless driver. I tell my kids I'm a defensive driver. But you say, I drive like a cop. Like a cop.

Right, So I see Senior's Sergeant Dave O'Neill.

The other day. Okay, I was dropping hearing off into the city.

Right.

I drive down, wrapped down the street forty kilometers right, it's changed in the last couple of years from fifty to forty, which is really slow if you're driving anyway.

Whatever.

There's cops, traffic highway patrol with the gun. I go, look at that, Look at these idiots. Look at these idiots. Are those poor fuckers? Okay, I drop her off. I drive back past them again, have a glance. People pulled out a look those fucking idiots. Anyway, About two hours later, Karen, can you come pick me up? I'm like, oh, I go, all right, So I go, I pick her up. I drive down Rapton Street. All of a sudden, whoo, I'm like I got pulled out by the same cops that

Yeah, yeah you are, Jason statement.

I said, yeah, I nearly lost my license. Yeah. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, well this is only one point. I'm like, oh, thank fuck. You know what dollars And he said he was going to text the fine, but I never got the text.

I have let me off. No.

That what happens is once you think you've got off, the moment you know, I reckon, I've got off, it just turns up.

Yeah, it's some deal of the universe.

But you know why I patroller. They won't let you off normally.

I am so I wrote that joke about patrol was I'm not booked on the way to Aubrey And the couple was really nice.

Yeah where his name was so times well something.

Sauners from the hang around a highway patrol piwaver patrol and he was eating the pipe and he said and so he did that, and he gave me a split, you know, mark me down and everything like that. He was very friendly, but he did that thing I hate right at the end where he goes, anyway, Bredford, I have to ask you, did you have any reason for for speeding?

And it just shits me right, you know, just we've done. What can you say to that?

And I looked him straight in the eye, straight up in the eye, and I said to him, just over confident, mate, and he just went He looked at me and he went what anyway.

The joke I wrote out of that was he goes, what do you mean over confident? What does that mean?

I said, well, you know, you just gave me a fine two hundred and ninety dollars and he goes yeah, And I said, you reckon, I'm going to pay that. That's overconfident, dish. But it's just it's the same when they make a joke, right, you know, just come on. I was like one of those dudes at the airport said to me, because I made a joke about.

Not a bomber, yeah, I did.

I made a joke about a bomb because what now what happened was I flew back from Wagger. I did a gig and Wogger and I flew back from Wager and we just got strained on the plane and then.

We flew in the yeah, and then they do the search afterward, and.

They do the search afterwards before we go on to the terminal, and there was one umbrella and it was raining and.

We had to queue up to get inside to get searched.

And so I started going mah manhat like that, you know, because I was annoyed. And then when we got there to the thing, I said, well, I would have blind the plane up already.

So anyway, the guys come out, well three guys grabbed me and they dave.

They did that thing where where I want a travelator right at the effort, and so they have to walk next to the travelator.

So I'm standing there like, you know, I'm out of Star Wars or something.

Just go along.

And this guy goes and you can tell them security because they would try not to look like security. And one of them says to me, he goes, uh, what makes you think you're qualified to make it? He asked me, did you make a joke about a bomb? And I said, well, I didn't say a bomb. I just said I would have blow it up because it seemed I said, it seemed asinine to me to search us after we've left the plane, right, And he knows, well, what makes you think you're qualified to make a joke in an airport?

The person in the airport to do that. And he was, what you meant? You know what?

I said, I'm a stand up comedian, I'm allowed to meet jokes. And he goes, what And I pulled out one of my DVDs to them and just and then got off the traveling and just walked off off. I'm probably I'm probably making people angry out there, and just go he's he's a band and he's a roade, but.

Come on, just pulls him. Why would just why would you search people? Laughter? They've got I know they've done that to me too. Yeah, it doesn't make it odd?

All right? Well, and have a listen to Slippery Slope, our new podcast. It's like a proper podcast with you. It's not just two guys.

Rambling on, No, it's it's true crime. Thanks again, Brad, thanks made bad.

Going for a.

Drive to a little gain and drive back back with the chat. It is called the deep breath. It's called the de breath. It's called the D three. It's caltond three, it's caltend breath.