Raina. That's on the phone.
Rain is on the phone.
Raina has a question. And when you have a question, you've got to ask whise people that will give you some good advice. But they weren't available. So here we are, Raina. Tell me your story and we'll see we can help you out a little bit.
Hey. Yeah, so I am dating this person and his family is kind of a mess. Like he has three brothers, a dad, and his mom's not in a picture.
Okay.
So one of his brothers has been to jail for drug possession. That's one. Another brother robbed a liquor store and then threw the gun into the ditch right outside of the liquor store.
So prints are all over. So he thinks of a good place to throw the gun that he probably stole in the first place. Is oh, get rid of the evidence, throw it in the ditch. They found it fingerprint evidence, went to prison. How long was he in prison? Yeah? Eight years? Eight years? Yeah, don't rob a liquor store with Yeah.
But the good news is the third brother is actually normal, hasn't gotten into any trouble.
So there's three. There's three brothers and then your guy. Okay.
Then also his dad almost went to prison for stealing like converters, like catalytic convertible.
Oh, catalytic conversion. Yeah, okay, got it.
So he's kind of awful too, like he raised two good sons and two bad sons.
Okay, so so I mean fifty.
So and again the mom's not in a picture, so.
Okay, sure, but your guy's good, yes, yeah, he is good.
He is good. And then I'm I'm good. I guess like I do well, I make good money, and I drive an OUTI and I'm.
Humble, brug what year is your audi's like it is?
It is newer. The thing, here's my concern, Like they're going his family, that's the bad one. They're gonna know that we do well financially. So I just feel like they're gonna come to us and ask for money, like, hey, I need eight hundred dollars or I'm getting kicked out of my apartment. Help me out. The thing is, my family is pretty regular, like no one and my family has ever been to jail. I just I don't know. I'm kind of worried because I don't really want to
deal with a family. It does stuff like.
That valid concern though, I mean seriously, if especially if they all live nearby and you're doing well, there will be times. And I've had this in my family. My family, certain people will hit me up for money and I just don't. I just don't anymore, you know, I just really don't. But they'll, you know, but I think it will happen. They're going to hitch up for money, and then they become bitter. They'll be like, well, you've got a nice house, you've got to you got plenty of money.
Could is that? I've Julie had that happen in her family. Half that family had money, the other half were kind of losers, and they would and if you didn't give them money, they would get very angry, really very angry, interesting like throw things as every like they're entitled, you mean, like money titled necessarily, but but like you've got an X ray eight hundred dollars you just got back from
you know, the Bahamash. So I guess the question is is I would say approach with caution, But I would say if you're if your boyfriend is a good buffer with that family and knows how to handle him, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. But I'll bet there are people listening who it's like, Yeah, I'm married into this family and thereafter is for money or rent money or a place to stay. Way too o.
That's like it's always something that's always probably yeah, someone to text and say, is she dating my ex?
Another text says break up with him. It's not worth the drama. But you care about this guy. And that's easier said than don because you're gonna lose a guy that you really really care about and you'll miss for a long time, not because of.
Him, right, because of the back, because of the bad one.
Genny, you come from a trashy state. Have you had a lot of this happen where you lived in Wisconsin?
I can't say that I have, and luckily, I mean, I have some trashy relatives who are just awful that I would highly recommend straying away from if you do try to get involved in them. But like the rest of us in the family are great, you know, Yeah, I don't think that that shines a light on who we are as people. We are separate from those relatives, right, you know, I.
Feel like everyone's family, like in any family they have you know, the quote unquote bad ones in the family. And I see what Raina's concern is though, because her bad ones are really close to the one that she's with, because they're his brothers. So that makes sense like versus you know, a cousin, Like I got that cousin that's bended ja.
Yeah. Yeah, they're like very accessible. And I mean to guess, did they all live here locally?
They're on nearby, They're on nearby, Okay, I mean, well, one other question, Like I'm just curious about people's thoughts on this, Like do we think this is a genetic thing.
Oh, I think it's a parenting thing. I think it sounds more like a parenting thing. I don't know, maybe genetic is you know, stupid as genetic. Yeah, I'm joking, but I think that bad dad was like on parole for stealing catalytic converters. That's probably just the tip of the iceberg that you might know about dad. I think it's just probably not the best parenting and parents, you know, really, I mean, come on, they have such an impact on
how their kids behave. And ask a teacher, you know, teachers will be like, I get a bad kid that I met the parent and I understood why. I'm sure
it happens all the time. Let us know, send me a text or call me and let rain and know whether you've been down that road before with a family that you know, it was like, okay, they're kind of I don't want to say mooches, but they're always there's always a problem and it's never their fault and they need something and they look at you, who you have an abundance of resources, and they'll be like, well, you should give me the eight hundred dollars.
We do have a lot of text messages saying I'm currently in a one year relationship with somebody like that, and I just straight up told him from the jump, we're never helping people. Nobody's ever going to live here, and he totally agrees. So I guess it's just a matter of having a real honest conversation with your boyfriend.
And this one also.
Agrees a good kind of conversation to have with your partner. If we were ever to get married, we need to agree that we are not giving them money or letting them live when well, let me.
Ask you, here's the ither think an important question, how does your boyfriend or partner feel is he like, well, you know, they're good guys, they just have some bad things happen to them. You know, I gave my brother twenty five hundred dollars and you know, what does your boyfriend feel about it? Does he like, no, no, don't want to help or is he like I got to help here and there.
I mean he's he's more on the keeping his bounaries with him. Yeah, But I don't know if he said like, I'm definitely never going to help them, you know, I since we've only been dating since the summer, like it's it's serious, but it's you know, it's not like we're not married or anything. So but I think that sounds like a good idea to have those conversations really understand.
Like under no circumstances and make the first answer no. Yeah, because once you loan one person money one time, it's like feeding a stray cat. They'll be back because they know you've got it. So I would say no from the jump, Like you said, here's a text message at KATWB one. It says I married somebody with a bad family that is similar eleven years later, we're getting a divorce and his family was a big reason always asking for money, always drama, and my husband was the only
good one in the military college graduate. He eventually was sneaking money to them to not cause problems with us, and I found out about it. Not good.
Yeah, but then other people are saying, like, I understand her concern, but all she has to say is no to the money questions.
Don't punish a good guy for the actions of his family.
Yeah, but it's just hard that, like, if you do end up intertwining your lives financially, that then like is the brother is her boyfriend really going to say no to his family if they are in dire need?
And that's the thing I mean seriously, of my XYZ relatives said I'm gonna lose my house, I'm gonna live in my car. Oh, then I'm gonna want to help. Good luck, I would say, the best answer we got is probably talked to him and just be firm from the beginning that the answer is always going to be now. But then good luck And the good news is you've got a good one and that and that's the hard It's hard to leave somebody who is good just because of other things that are out of their control.