9am Hour - Smokin' Drinkin' Hookin'

Jenny has the hiccups, and I'm giving her hiccups cures. And I said, drink a glass of water from the other side of the glass. You put your lips on the opposite side of the glass forward. Sheld it forward like that, like, No, you can't use the straw. No, you get to take the lift ticket of the glass of water.

Okay, well you use the mug. This is like mug forms.

So if I take the off, now, drink it from the No, that's the same side. No, put your lips on the opposite side.

Yeah.

No, No, you're in it.

You're doing it right. Show me again, show.

Me your Hey, look, here's yours. It's great.

Oh okay, Jenny, spill you look.

But see what that does.

Disrupts your your diaphragm. Yeah, and that makes you stop hicking? Did you stop?

I did, actually because you felt so stupid doing that. I went away because I took water in general. But whatever, they're gone.

It's mad doing a right, Okay, good time for it is your Friday morning dance party on KD double ub. So we went to a wedding on New Year's Eve. And the thing that makes a wedding either tolerable if you don't know a lot of people or kind of like, all right, how much longer do we have to stay before we can leave? Is the people you sit next to when you're eating. I think this is really true because sometimes you get stuck with people that you know.

Where are you guys from? What's your name again?

Dave?

I know you well that Dave.

And Susan we're here because we know Terry and Clyde exactly. And then the whole time you're like, oh, good, but we got we sat next to a very charming couple. Kara listens to the show, and she's listened for years.

I wonder if that's why you got put next to her.

I don't know, it's feasible.

And then her husband, Steve, was absolutely charming, and so we talked about everything from mountain biking, snowboarding, r ving, skiing and things like that, and it really made the whole wedding much more pleasant. Yeah, not that it was a bad wedding in the first place. Shout out Taylor and Blaze. Yes that's his name, Blaze. It's a bad fire right cool, shout out them. But you know, they they make the circulation, the rounds at a wedding. You got,

I've been to a couple weddings where the only people I know are the people getting married, and then they'll be like, oh, I'm going to sit you at a table with people you'll really get along with for sure, and then they're all like married with kids.

Yeah, like cool, I have nothing in common with these people. Awesome.

I love it.

So No, I totally feel you were like you have to have somebody nice and like interesting sitting next to you, or else you're screwed.

You know, what's not fun is to get sat at a table with someone you've hooked up with with your current partner, because that's definitely how it hap What happened, well, it was like it was a kickball friend's wedding and I knew like a handful of different people there, but for some reason, they didn't invite a lot of our like og kickball team, so I was expecting to see

I had no idea. So I totally get that.

Yeah, So when you go to a wedding, or if you're putting together the guest list, try to fit people. I don't know, it's a challenge to put Harold and Doris that are hard of hearing. Yeah, that is a hard one to pay her up with somebody the funny table, the funny table.

I've been put at the funny table before, where it's like, oh, this is everyone I know from comedy and improv, and you're all going to sit at the same table.

That's great.

That's a dope wedding.

I think when Alison got married, she put fallon Steve, Jenny and Tina and other people all were you at the same table.

We were all at the same table. But I must remind you that Tina bailed on the wedding as my plus one I about a week ahead of time, so I had to scramble to find one. So when said Felix came over, you guys, nobody knew him and.

He was a great plus one.

That's the dream.

But the plus one we were all there together.

And of course, like and Stee, we're trying to troll you before your speech, and like we're trying to record you. I don't even remember anymore, but it's a long time ago.

Anyway, I hope you get stuck at a good table at the wedding. I want to ask you guys a question. So Susan is in some makeup thing, what like a makeup box club whatever. Hey, it's not that, but they mail her. They mailed her, and she's never had it happen before. She pays for makeup through the mail. So over Christmas they mailed her a box like a shoe box full of different makeup things, lotions and things that

I think that's true, don't You've found.

There's no binding Yeah, no binding obligation of like, oh, you have to mail this back and if you if they do get mad, why'd you send it to me? You have no proof that I got it cause I didn't ask for to begin with.

Well, right, yeah, so and she's like, no, they've got my credit card and they're going to charge me for what I keep. And I said, well, then that is breaking the law. So maybe if you work for the post office or you know, let us know, because I think for example, let's say I own Dave's Cookie company. Yeah, and I send you a bunch of cookies and I say, pick out the ones you want, I'll put them on your credit card, mailly back the ones that you don't want.

Sure, yeah, yeah, it would feel weird. But then also like, am I paying for to mail it back to you?

Well?

Why do they have a credit card too? I guess it is my other question? Yeah, yeah, I was like, if she wasn't gonna buy it.

Some kind of subscription she pays. I think so kind of to me.

It sounds like, well know, in the details, this kind of sounds like one of those clothing subscriptions where they send you things for people you want and then you send it back.

But then you've asked for it, right, Yeah, you agree.

On approval, so they mail you something on approval, and I think that's the legal term for it. You mail me clothing on approval. I've agreed to it advance. I pick out what I want, mail what I don't want back, and then you charge me for what I can. So I don't know, should you Maybe you know, maybe you don't. Maybe we'll learn something, maybe we won't. I will say that Jenny's been on Reddit. She's been poking around on Reddit. What'd you find on Reddit?

I have three actionable steps that you are going to put together to have the best year of your life.

Three actions actionable Stup, Okay, we'll do it next. This could change your life. Stay, Jenny's been on Reddit.

It's the new year. Let's make it the best year of our lives so far. And these are three actionable steps to have the best year. So there's three different categories The first one is called the masogi, which basically means one big event that you know you're going to accomplish this year that you will forever remember in twenty twenty six, I did this, but you need to think about it and what it might be. So it could be anything from like buy a house, start a podcast,

So that is on my list for twenty twenty six. I want to do the Moab rope swing.

My gosh, I'm looking at it right. It's appreciating what this looks like. And I'm worried about you because I might die. Well, I'm wondering whether you actually hold on or not.

You will you get on? I mean, you're attached to a big bungee corps.

You are attached, you are in a vest.

Okay, I thought it was maybe something you get there's a knot in the rope and you hold onto the non Oh no, okay, well here's.

A ten year old kid doing it. Yeah, okay, whoa. I know I.

Haven't staying all these videos and there's like part of me now that I wrote it down and I want this to be my misodi that I'm terrified. But anyways, all right, your next one, so that's the first one. One big thing for the year twenty twenty six. Your next one is schedule six mini adventures because let's think about it.

We go through our years and we.

Like schedule things as we can, but like get those mini adventures on the calendar. So here's a couple of ones for me. I plan on going to Mount Bohemia to snowboard one of the holiday weekends like uk Yepka Mlka weekend or like President's a weekend. Another one is I want to treat myself to like one spa day like low because I've never done anything like that and I don't know. I went to Hotel Ivy once and they gave me a tour of the spot. I was like, I need this in my life, but I've still never

Something like that.

That's cool. Yeah, yeah, Six.

Mini adventures, and then the last one is four winning habits. And the way it works is you have a different one for each quarter so you don't have to do it year round. You set one for the first three months, then the next three, the next three, and the next three. So it feels like, no, you're drinking, you mean quit smoking, hooking, you said you can stop that you can't stop, but I mean these are you know, it could be like drink however many ounces of water a day or whatever

Actually a good idea.

Yeah, okay, so that's one of mine.

Another one for Q three because of weather, I want to walk outside every single day. I love walking, but I feel like if I force myself to have that as a habit.

That's my Q three one.

So again, your first one is one big event is called a masogi, so one big event for the year of twenty twenty six that you remember you'll look back on and be like, that's what I did. The next one is schedule six mini adventures. Don't just write them down, like, actually get them on this Yes, and it's nice, like to think maybe every other month you schedule something, so you have every other month something fun to look forward to, which is something they've always says is always has.

Something something look forward to, even if it's a Macadamian nut cookie for lunch, you gotta have something.

Exactly which sounds de lifeful.

And your last one is four winning habits, where you have a different one for each quarter, so every three months you have a different one so you're not subject to that same habit every day of the year.

This has been your best been on Redded ever.

Thank you.

I did this as an exercise over the holidays because I really liked it. I think setting resolutions and goals is fun, but this is actually something that like you really want to do with your life and have an experience more so with with a little bit of like help of habits, you know what I mean?

Can you put sorry, go ahead, I was gonna say, can you put that on your Instagram?

I'll share because I saw like a ton of people sharing it on Instagram like already, So I'll just share some of the stuff that I've seen. But yeah, definitely, And then like other winning habits that I might recommend for you if you're thinking, like I don't know what to do, is like go to holiday station stores, you know, because you're woundless, seven hour meal deal, or you get a pizza and a drink or some bugs whatever, whatever your heart desires.

Or you can do something like drink water every day, but that's boring, you know.

Yeah, anyone will do that, can I tell you?

Carson Gott for Christmas, one of his big gifts was this giant water jug and it's probably a gallon. I mean, if you put your hand above the table, it was probably about fifteen inches high and about as round as if you made like a pancake.

Sure maybe a little bigger than that.

That's really big.

And so he filled it up.

He's like, yeah, I'm gonna drink a lot of water, and he could drink maybe a third of that during the day. And I said, I think the thing is, you don't have to drink that much. It depends on your body size. And what's the rule, Jenny. You probably know it's like an ounce for every pound that you weigh, or half an ounce for every pound that you weighing.

Half your body weigh an ounces.

Okay, math half your body weigh.

A buck fifty. You're drinking seventy five a day.

I have to drink about ninety ounces a day.

Yeah, okay, so this is thirty two ounces when I'm holding so I have to drink like a cup a few of.

These drinking water.

All right, thank you. The catchiest song of all time? No, it's true. This is the catchiest song of all time. It might be surpassed by that Demon Hunter song, but this isn't the lead so far.

Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift leads the dirt today because in her the show The One on Disney, The End of an Era, she is gearing up for the final three shows of the tour and got a love letter from Travis and here she is reading it.

So many unbelievable memories in this tour, but my favorite one is seeing you in concert for the first time, being memorized, mesmerized and swept off my feet by a woman who doesn't even know me.

I selfishly say thank you.

For creating this legendary tour and to Robert for making you stop through Kansas City, Missouri that night too. In casey was the beginning of me meeting the love of my life.

It's adorable. He wrote it with one of those thick crayons. Yeah, and he held it in his fist.

I heard it was a scented cran too.

Yeah, it's adorable, Bayberry, Bayberry. And as he wrote it, he put his tongue out because he was concentrating really hard.

He was thinking yeah.

Then Jason corrected his misspellings.

Yeah, I love you.

These are the most unexpected breakups that happened in twenty twenty five. But we've got the kid Lrory and Tate McCrae, which vant had a celebration.

When that happened.

Yes, I did a whole party for my future wife.

Alex Earl and her football player boyfriend Braxton Barrios Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. They were married for nineteen years.

I really, Oh my god, I'm seriously I didn't even know they were married.

I thought they were just a couple.

No, they were together for a long time.

Wow.

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom they were only dating, but they were together for seven years and they have.

I think they have one kid together.

And then Chase Oaks and Kelsey Ballerini, they were dating for three years except I'm pretty sure I saw posts that looks like they might be back together. It looks like they might be separated and did some work and got back together. And then the last one is Olivia Rodrigou and her boyfriend that nobody cares about or knew of, at least I did it. Maybe Vont says differently, But Louis or Louis, you.

Look at the wrong guy, Olivia.

I just know the album's slabs from this break up.

Yeah, so they dated for two years and they also broke up.

Speaking of love, Maya Rudolph was on Amy Poehler's Good Hanging podcast. It's a really good podcast, and she says that she regrets that she never slept with anybody at SNL and never even flirted with anyone, mydolf d. She was hot back in the day, right, And a lot of people apparently met on SNL like Kerry Fisher and Dan Ackroyd met there, Jason Toadaikis and Olivia Wilde, Colin Joustin Scarlett Johansson.

They all met through Saturday Night Live.

So she's like, you know what, I regret not trying to sleep with anyone, but also not even flirting with anyone.

So sorry, Maya, What a bummer.

According to Forbes, Beyonce is the fifth billionaire musician, which is amazing. She joins the ranks of Taylor Swift obviously, Rihanna, obviously, jac obviously. And this one was a surprise. I thought it was Selena Gomez because she is a billionaire. But the fourth is Bruce Springsteen. Jersey legend.

Didn't know Springsteen was a billionaire, but I guess that kind of makes sense. Ryan Seacrest is talking about New Year's Rock and Even now. It's interesting because they call it Dick Clark's New Year's Rock and Eve with Ryan Seacrest vaunt at twenty four years old.

You know who Dick Clark is. He used to be like some big broadcaster. Right.

Yeah, he was the host of He was a producer of every TV show in the world, like all the award shows. He was the creator and producer of the American Music Awards. Oh oh, I think they wouldn't be there if it weren't for Dick Clark. And he hosted a legendary show back in the seventies called American Bandstand and it was he was sixties, seventies, eighties, that type

Yeah, I felt bad that he kept doing it, Like, I don't know if they made him do it.

Really was, it was absolutely his choice.

I felt so bad for himuse.

He would well, I don't know the whole story, but he would, he would struggle. So anyway, so now it's Ryan seacrests So he is talking about the crazy New Year's Rock and Eve rehearsals.

Here is Seacrest.

We'll rehearse the whole eight hour show with all the moving parts. We'll be live in Chicago with Chance the rapper Rozland Sanchez is in Puerto Rico. Julianne Hoff Rob Markowski are in Las Vegas. We'll have all those different countdowns, we'll run through all of those, will rehearse the performers. Then we go to bed tonight twelve thirty one o'clock and do the whole show again tomorrow with all the different moving parts before we do the show for you.

Wow.

I mean that makes sense because when you watch it, it really does come together really well, and they toss it back and forth like Okay, here's Chance the Rapper in Chicago or whatever whoever it was, and it really was good. Here he is talking about how he stays warm because he's pretty much outside for hours.

I have double with the thermos doble thermost.

I cut a big hole here so I can get my tie and my shirt on. I have warmers in my boots, warmers and my gloves.

I have those patches.

That are warmed taped to my stomach around my waist because it gets cold and windy.

Is Seriously, it sounds like a miserable show.

Does It's like I look at people like Ryan Seacrest, I'm like, you are a success. You should be on a yacht in the Caribbean on New Year's Eve, go enjoy your life, Like why do you work to go?

I just don't think he's fulfilled by stuff like that.

I think his fulfillment only comes from constantly working. I yes, that's the only reason someone who does as much as he does must work that much.

Because he does the radio show, he does, the morning show, he does, you know, like the show the Midday here. I know it's all pre recorded. Then he does the Wheel of Fortune. He produces all the Kardashrican shows and other shows. And I think he still does American Top forty.

Yeah he does.

He does an American idol and it's like, why go buy a yacht?

Well, somebody like Seacrest. But then also Steve Harvey's another one. He does everything. But also I mean he does take a lot of time off. I know our friend Nimi used to work here. She does radio and Dubaye. Now I think Steve Harvey has land or a house or something out there, and he's always vacationing out there because Naima will post up and she'll just be like, oh, look there's Steve.

I just assume Ryan Seacrest has a clone or a couple clones.

I just don't think he's actually human. There's got to be.

He doesn't sleep.

Yeah, he literally gets like ten minutes of sleep a day and that's all he needs.

And then he still functions perfectly fine.

He just they plug him into the wall at nighttime.

Yeah, he's got a US charger connector.

All right, fast charger.

Okay, that is going to do it for the show for the day. Thank you for listening. Check out the Minnesota Goodbye the After the Show podcast. You can check that out. Major announcement coming up on Monday morning about me Dave seven twenty Monday morning. It is a life changing announcement Monday morning.

It's seven twenty. Do you don't want to be here? Yeah? And I will talk to you this.

You get a Costco membership?

Is that? Oh?

Jenny, come on. Spoiler alert.

We'll see you moday.

Have a good weekend. The