9am Hour - Hot Turd

ADWB building up to that seventh one. I'm pretty excited about that. All right, I get some prizes for you. It's one of the way we lure you. We lure you and bribe you to listen to the radio by giving away concert tickets. That's what we do. So we're gonna have a ton of Bruno Mars tickets. Every big concert that's coming this year. We usually have the most tickets, So stay here to win. Right now, we got tickets for Cone Grass Conin Gray coming to Target Center on

Also, can I add get some pants so that if you fall down, they won't get a hole in them, because that's what happened when I went country cross country skiing last year, is that I got holes in my pants.

I'm sorry, Bailey.

Okay, no, I really liked those pants.

Okay, with your thousand dollars, you do whatever you want. The keyword is pay now.

Your chance at one thousand.

Dollars just to enter this nationwide keyword on our website.

Hey, that's pay.

Kadiwb dot com or pay your heating bill because it's going to be very expensive. It's gonna be very very cold this weekend. But whatever you do, thousand dollars they can be yours. Just go KDWB dot com enter the keyword pay. I'm not going to play, it says you, and nobody ever wins those things other people do. I never win, well, that's what yesterday's Winter said. Well they're luckier than me. Well, you are not going to win if you don't play the game. Stop being logical, Dave,

I know we're still about a month out from Valentine's Day, but I'm going to share some unhinged Valentine's Day disasters.

Uh oh, all right, coming up Jenny's Been unreaddit.

Valentine's Day is a month away, but we are sharing some unhinged disaster stories already.

Okay.

These might either come from a server's perspective or someone who went on a date. First off, someone says I served at a jap He's Hibachi restaurant and once had a couple come and the dude dumps her after the meal. She then she then gets up throws up a trail on the way to the back. Girl and the guy got up and left, and the like went and cleaned up the hole. Okayat another one.

These are great.

Yeah, oh, this is a good one.

A guy did a backflip and asked a girl to be his valentine. She declined. I walked up to him and asked if he was fine. He said it took him a week to perfect that idea.

Okay, what are you doing?

What a clueless individual to think number one, that a backflip was going to sell her on him. Number two to not know that she's going to say no. I mean when you ask somebody like when Vant asks Alyssa one day in the future, one day, he knows what the answer is going to be. But I think sometimes guys will use that as romantic ploy like I want to show you how much I love you? Do you love me just as much? You got to know the answer before you ask.

Yeah, okay, go ahead, And you said all right.

There was a note, so this is coming from the couple who was dining. There was a note in our reservation that it was an engagement and they wanted champagne, a specific seed, a bunch of other stuff. And the server comes up to our table and says, so I read, we're celebrating.

An engagement no, oh.

Crap, because the guy had still not proposed yet, so the server unfortunately ruined it.

Honestly though, like, yeah, that would be the worst, but then that would turn into a funny story to me for like the rest of time, especially if you do say yes and you were like planning on, you know, asking.

And then that was probably going to say yes.

Yeah, and it's funny, like, yeah, you can have a cute little engagement or you can have one where the waiter ruined it.

Yeah, that's true. A lot of these are about getting dumped on Valentine's Da. So this one says these two were on a date and the guy went to go to use the bathroom. The girl just up in leaves when he went to the bathroom.

When he came back, he.

Sat there for a while until finally and being like, yo, do you know where she went?

And she was like sorry, she left and the guy. The guy didn't seem upset though, because then he asked the waitress out, that's.

Funny, not that one, just like you're not doing anything, are you?

Because I was serving a section on Valentine's Day that had a marriage proposal of fortieth anniversary and a breakup all at the same time. But the breakup was the worst because the guy brought his high class day to a gift, a mini ceramic bear holding balloons. He presented it when I was at the table, and she looked at it like it was a hot turd.

I knew that it wasn't gonna end well.

She left at the end of the meal, and the poor guy sat at the table for forty minutes.

The crying no with this little balloon is bear lotter, pamic bear.

No.

Now.

I can relate to this one as a former server, because things get heated sometimes in the kitchen.

It says.

One Valentine's Day at my restaurant, we got totally slammed and the kitchen started melting down.

In the middle of dinner service.

The head chef freaked out, threw a side of salmon at one of the line cooks and walked out for salmon.

Walked out, throw salmon, walked out.

It was like I'm dead.

If you've ever watched the Bear.

Yes, the high intensity of a kitchen that truly is a representation of how kitchens work sometimes, especially when you're slammed. Oh man, I do not miss those days of being a server. All right, we'll just do one more here. It says in college, I waited tables and Valentine's Day was always a good one in terms of tips.

I once saw a couple come in to eat.

Halfway through the dinner, the man's wife shows up to surprise the couple.

Oh oh no.

I took the wine, model, poured the remnants on the husband's hand, took off her ring, and told the girlfriend she could have him.

And he tipped the server one hundred bucks.

So he was still a good tipper even though he just got completely busted.

Oh gosh.

The video and it's gone around a while, and there's I'm sure there are many of them, but it is an attractive, probably forty forty five year old blonde woman sitting at a table that looks about the quality of a Texas roadhouse with a guy and they're having a good time, and the wife walks up and she's got somebody videoing or she's videoing yourself, and she's like, Hi, how are you guys? And the guy's like, oh god. And the blonde woman that he's banging on the side

I haven't seen that.

I tried to find it for you.

I do think there's a.

New trend on social media where people are like just videotaping them called so.

But there's this.

New app that, like catches, you can like look for your partner on dating apps, like you can find and see if your partner has like a tender accounter.

It's crazy.

So I feel like I see a lot of people now and maybe those are fake too, And I just don't know because I'm just not into that scene or whatever.

But I definitely seen that.

I also overheard a conversation in the sauna at the gym the other day that I told you guys about. This woman was talking about how she had been seeing this guy and then all of a sudden, he posted a picture of a very brand newborn.

Baby she had.

She had another girl pregnant and they weren't together, but she had no idea I had a baby along the way, and she's been dating him for a couple months.

If you Google. I just googled man busted cheating with blonde at restaurant and it's about a minute and twenty seconds long, and it is. It's not fake because the reality of the like the woman, the blonde who he's cheating with, Yeah, she really has no idea. Yeah, and she looks at the wife like, Hi, how are you and then realizes what a creepy is. So just google man busted cheating with blonde at restaurant. Speaking of which,

The anthem for women waiting to get proposed to this year is that right? They had a lot of women are using it on TikTok to be like where's my ring? To their boyfriends.

I had no idea? Where is that ring? Come on now?

Right?

Wedding day, diamonds, where you at?

Right?

Today's National Hugging Day.

Here we go.

I don't mind hugging you. You want to come over and give me a hug, that's fine. I don't mind you threw her that lot.

You normally tell her this is my side over.

Is because she was not invited.

Wow, she's going in for the hug right now.

They've usually has an electric fence up.

For Bailey sharing a microphone.

Right now, she's doing the very polite thing where she pushes her butt out to make sure there's no pellful contact at all, because that would be really really weird that there's any pelvil contact. It's kind of like when you go in for a hug and the person you go for a hug is kind of like, oh, and they don't use their arms to hug you. They used their hands to hug you. Okay, Like you go to hug somebody and they don't really want to so instead of.

Just through.

With the thrusting, the grinding.

Knows what a hug is.

Yeah, gosh, I'm going to stay over here, Dave. I'm no, I am a huge hugger, but not with my family.

It's weird.

Like if I meet somebody who listens to the show up in public, I'll hug them.

I don't really care.

Yeah, I actually to hug them, I was gonna say, But like with my family, I think my mom and I hug and that's about it.

I never hugged my sisters my dad maybe ever once.

You know, my mom was a big hugger, but my dad was not until near the end of his life. And it's like, bitch, I'm gonna hug you get over here.

That my dad has become too.

Yeah, person who comes into the radio station, like for Christmas wish or whatever, when they leave, I would always give them a hug. But some people, you know, like they're way into a hug, and other people are like they just give you the They don't extend their arms around your body. They just patch you on the shoulders. And that's fine, man.

I do like a hug.

I just I also same, Jenny, I don't hug my sister goodbye. But that's honestly kind of for like the bit, like my dad's for the bit. It's like we shake hands for the bit and then serious, yeah.

Because it's funny.

And then but sir, it's also like I half the time hug my dad. I always hug my mom, and then you hug my mom and then you check biscuits at the same time, So you do a hug, you grab your mom's butt.

Oh no, you pinch, you don't grab weird.

The other day we're at david Busters.

The other day is less that I are at david Busters and I'm waiting for her to come out of the bathroom, so I'm facing the other way and she biscuit checked me and they were like four people.

Behind that watch and I was just like, please, don't ever do that.

That's a healthy relationship in my opinion.

Yeah, because they looked at me react all.

I'm telling you, when is biscuit check day?

Because I want to celebrate with Jenny because it's so hard for me anytimes he's walking in front of me and my eyeballs are just down and I just.

Little pinchers just every time I walked past her, one of these.

Those on her hands. She just has tongs something like Tina on our show. She's you know, she's you know, moved on, but she was on our show for a long time. I did.

She's getting married too, Yeah, next week I will be at her wedding.

But she is not a hugger, and not that I ever tried, but I think Steve would try to hug her just to piss her off.

Oh yeah, I would too.

Oh my gosh, she'd let me get like one hugg year just for funsies. But then if I was having a hard time, then she'd be like, all right, I'm going to give you a hug.

So that was how it works with Tina.

Yeah, it's just it's it's quite like you know. And and then there's the bro hug, which is cluck cluck club. Well, you grab their hand like a handshake, and then you wrap your other arm around them and you slap them on the back a few times. Yeah, yeah, because guys will rarely go in for like a romantic hug and sit day. Yeah, but that romantic hug with a couple

That's cute.

And then he's like, why is my neck? We all of a sudden, no tongue. Oh national hug day, So go something hug. Let's do Dave's Dirt on kt WB.

If gossiping was a career, they'd be making banks Dave's Dirt on.

Kd w B. All right, kind of gossip be kind of funny, the most offensive reality shows ever made. Let's Get Started two thousand and three. Are You Hot? Contestants who thought they were hot got put in front of a panel of judges for a ya or an a. Some of the most uncomfortable and misogynistic television in history. If I remember right, who was j Lo married to

No.

Well the producer set him up to do that, like MTV.

It sounds like MTV.

I don't know. It could have been Benefits Street. This is back in the mid teens, show about welfare recipients who refused to work and also ran around committing crimes like shopliftings. It only lasted for one season. Surprise Black White, a white family and a black family traded places with the help of body makeup and prosthetics. Yeah, to show how the other half lived. I remember by Ice Cube.

Yes, I remember that show because I do remember watching the crap out of that and it was wild because they really did like make up you for like hours in a chair to make you look like or.

You were white.

They made you look black, and if you were black, they made you look white. And there's your whole family.

Why to Good canceled?

Right?

Why did it get canceled?

Well, boy meets boy kind of like a gay Bachelor, except that half of the guys were secretly straight, so they would kind of pull one on the gay guys by pretending there were I guess, I don't know. It was twenty two years ago and it lasted for one season. Kid Nation this came out in two thousand and seven, lasted for one season. I kind of remember it. Children age eight to fifteen were dropped into an empty town,

A little interesting to see how they would survive.

Yeah, dangerous and abusive, like I've seen Georgian The Swan two thousand and four. Supposedly quote ugly women underwent transformations that included extensive plastic surgery, then competed against each other in a pageant. I remember that. I remember watching that. Yeah, the Swan, I do you remember that. I think it was on Fox.

And then they would come out like a big reveal at the end, like, look, she's so different.

You'd be like right right with all this plastic surgery.

These are shows that were so offensive that we can't believe they were made. Who's Your Daddy two thousand and five contestants adopt that his infants had to pick their biological fathers out of a group of men if they guessed. If they guessed right, they get a cash prize. If they chose the wrong man, the wrong man got the money. There.

I hope the kids who are adopted were at least over eighteen, because how traumatizing you're like fourteen years old picking out your.

But then also logical dat they have to because what fourteen year old is.

Going to get that money?

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Wow, Okay, the most offensive TV shows of all time.

Wow, well we're gonna get a little less offensive and talk about PG rated insults. Dave and I like to swear at each other or not in like a mean way, but just in a fundsies way. But these are PG ones that we could say that's more up Bailey's alley. So, for instance, thanks for helping. It was like doing it by myself but harder. I envy the people who never met you.

That's a good one. I like it.

Well, you did your best, and that's what's so sad. I envy the simplicity of your perspective. This one's really weird. I will explain it, but it all it says is snake mittens. So it means you're as useless as mittens for a snake.

That sounds like something a grandma would say. Mm hmm. You think you're a whit, but you're only halfway there.

These are like things that your mom would tell you to say to the bullies on the playground. Try this one, and then I would go and I'd try.

That one, and then they'd be like, you're so freaking weird, and I'm like, stop, I'll do it one more.

Okay, Bailey, somebody needs a diaper change your little baby.

That's what we.

Would say, what's up your butt? Because we heard it on like, you know, some TV show. No, that's stupid.

I just said Jenny when she comes in every morning, I said, most mornings, I say, what's up your big old bitch? Yeah?

Says that I used to get You're lucky you're pretty from Steve all the time.

Yeah, And I just I just go with it.

You know, she tells me what I say. Something like I got a busy weekend and she'll say like, yeah, you're blanking that blank And I'm like, Jenny, stop it.

You maybe center techs right now, center tex right now saying you up?

Said your wife? Your wife?

Why she was going to.

Say, you will?

Would I do that blank?

In that blank?

Never mind?

Are you?

I never stand what you up means because that's more of them a lot of net you were just talking about. But like f boys say to you at like two in the morning because they're looking for some AO.

Oh is that what it is?

Yeah? You up?

Yeah? I gotta remember that. Write what dept mouth do? Text her that mouth that makes doubt? O you f yes mouth? Thanks?

Yeah. After a twenty This is Sports Desk with Bailey. After a record twenty one consecutive years, Lebron James will not start in this year's NBA All Star Game.

How does that make you feel, Bailey?

I'm so sad.

So apparently this isn't a surprise that anyone who pays attention. Because he missed the first fourteen games of the Lakers season with sciatica, and then he didn't actually like do really well when he returned last month. His streak of ninety seven consecutive games with at least ten points each came to an end.

Okay, anyway, talk about people care about Lebron, No, we care.

I'm just laughing because most of the time, you know, like the Broncos quarterback has what angle injury or yeah, yeah, Lebron had sciatica and.

Sciatica like and I know that that's a severe injury. I'm not making fun of it.

It is souths weird for well, great, you're making fun of sciatica. The SIA Foundation of Minnesota is outside. Yeah, they can't lift the signs up because their legs.

And they've at least the first round of performers that are gonna be at the Grammys on February first. Of course, I'll girl some brid of Carpenter's in there, but a couple more Addison, Ray Katsi, Lowly, Young, Olivia Dean. I'm pretty sure all five of those people are nominated for Best New Artists. By the way, yay, Yes, Olivia Dean's gonna be there. Leon Thomas who sings Mutts Somber, Alex

And when are the Grammy Awards February first on CLO. Okay, wow, that's a couple of weeks away coming up.

Hey, Dave, I'm not saying you're the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope the dumbest person in the world doesn't die.

I don't get it because you're the second dumbest Jenny never mind. Jenny's never never mind? Do I need to die?

Now?

Do you see what I did? I said I don't get it, which would prove how dumb I a. And then Jenny tried to explain it. Jenny's congratulations.

Sometimes I can't tell you're sorry.

Work with them ten years sarcasm.

Our consultant told us don't be sarcastic on the radio because people like me don't understand it.

You've worked with them ten years.

I know.

I just there are so many times during our show planning meetings where I'll look at David.

I'll be like, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic right now.

He's like, Jenny, are you kidding, and I was like, no, I'm because sometimes your ideas are outrageous and you mean them.

Well, I'll say something like tomorrow on the show, Jenny writes this down again an idea Light to Fart and Win, and Jenny will start to write it down and then she'll look up and go, are you serious.

I'm just like ready to write everything down. So I'm like prepared, and then I kind of think first thing and I.

Was like, I don't cat to tell you something, but Jenny, before you came in this morning, Yeah, I got a bucket of paint and I painted the word what's the word again? Gullible? Painted the word gullible on the ceiling. We're all losing braines.

I can't play that one because I literally can't. I can't or my body to look up anyway.

Tomorrow the show Light to Fart and Win. We'll see you tomorrow. I'm KD W B