9am Hour - Don't Use a Crumbly Condom

All right, it's KDWB on the Day Brian Show. It is Friday. Does it feel like a Friday? Has been such a weird week with the holidays and wishes and just it's kind of one of like the like those limbo weeks, like that week between Christmas and New Year's where it's like, what day is it? It feels like a Sunday, but it's a Wednesday.

What's going on?

What's going on? Yeah, kind of one of those days. But today is Friday, and that means we're doing the Friday Morning Dance Party on kd WUB. That is a dance party on KDB. It's Friday. It looks kind of nice outside, like sunny and bright skies. It's four degrees. Don't be fooled. It's like that weather where you got to put a jacket on to walk to the end of the driveway to get your mail, Like, oh.

Is it for those things as negative one? Now? Oh no, it is for okay.

Ys either way, it's cold and it is the is that time of the year is just gonna be. But we do have some good news vaunts, feel good Friday vaunts. Not stirring the pod today You're gonna make us feel good? What do you got?

Got to be positive?

Every now and then, there's a fifty year Christmas tradition that was almost lost on an elementary school. Every year for fifty years, this PTO, the Parent Teach Organization, they've gotten every kid in the school a gift. And this is an elementary school, four hundred students. But this year they said, look, we just don't got the money. Times are tight, So as one does, one of the members of the PTO went to social media, went to tech talk.

Got toys each student.

Each student received a weighted stuffed animal, which apparently gives children comfort. They've got a stocking full of necessities like toothbrushes and hats and gloves. I tell you my grandma one year got us not toilet trees, but like pepto bismo and tom and I was like, I'm gonna use this trust to believe I'm gonna use this stuff.

But that's funny a coincidence, because I got you, guys, tombs in pepto bismos for crystal so instill.

I know, Benny, Hannah, I hope you.

Enjoyed it, like gifts like that honestly, because I don't think I have any tombs right now.

So I Jenny Yady lotion last year, and I promise I used every bottle or every square to the bottle.

You used the whole thing. Yes, I did. It wasn't like gigantic bottle.

No.

And he also like just ran out. He told me, mon, I'm gonna call him out though.

Here we go.

He doesn't have your guys president stand. He was texting me the other.

Day, Bailey's I don't have anything for.

You guys, I'm only waiting for one thing in the mail for Vaughan, and that's it.

I have a for one of you in this room, and that's it.

You guys are getting a Chick fil A gift card with eight dollars and fifteen cents left on it. No, no, I'm sorry, Superior teams Chick fil A gift card to Hannah.

Yeah, can we do that? You don't have to get us anything? This avoiding eye contact with me right now?

Don't you know why is my responsibility to buy a two hundred dollars Ben offered?

You offered. That's where this lower started.

I never offered you guys, your pressure me into it.

You offered, and then you set the appointment. But then you coincidentally have to swallow a camera or something, and then you canceled on this camera.

I gotta swallow a camera.

NICs.

You speaking of medications, Yeah, we're going through our house because you know, we're just cleaning out stuff, and above our stove is where we keep our basically our medicines. Your theoflu, your thilant, all your pepto bismol, whatever it is. Go look at your expiration dates. We found Thailand all that expired in twenty twelve. Oh god, in twenty twelve. It was thirteen years ago. This tilant all expired. Go look at your medications, because they do expire. They they don't.

They just I do want to say, though, some does get like weird because I have taken expired cough syrup twice and it immediately made me sick. So do be careful. Well that sounds because how often did you take cough syrup?

So of course it's in there when you don't look, because it seems like you just bought it last year, and you look at the expirations like, oh good, I will said seven years ago.

There's so many things I don't understand how they expire?

Yeah, what do you mean?

I mean medicine makes sense. I would hope that it expires.

How does honey expire?

Honey does not expire. Believe me, I think they found honey in the tombs of Egyptian queens and that it's still it's still good. They put it on toast.

Yeah, I taste it. Did you make that up?

No? They do. They have found it in like the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs and things like that, and it's not you know, you don't want to try to eat it, but it's still it's still good. Honey. I guess I try it.

If a pharaoh ate it, Yeah, I try it.

Kids are in school, right, yea? How do condoms expire?

It's the latex that like wears down over time, like you.

Ever had a pair of elastic shorts like the waistband. Yes, and then after a while it starts to get like less stretchy and crumbly, same kind of thing. Don't use it. Don't use a crumbly condom.

That was a genuine question.

I'm writing it down. Don't use a crumbly con.

It looks like you're wearing a pastry.

I think you also say that is ridiculous. I think they also say that even if it's not expired, but it's been sitting in your wallet for too long. But that's not good either.

Well, it's not good because you haven't had some in a long time. It's like, oh, it's been in there for three years. Dry spell. Okay, we'll be back in a second. Bailey's going to do the daily Bailey coming up. What are we going to play around with on The Daily Bailey.

I want to know about the person who brings the drama to your holiday, and you're going.

To talk about.

In a Donna all right, we'll cover it next on.

Katie The Dave Ryan Show on Katie W Who.

Is bringing the drama to your holiday? Whatever you're doing. I don't know Christmas, Honica, whatever you're doing, who brings the drama? I want to hear about them, and I want to hear about what kind of dramatic things.

They're usually up to.

Oh, you're always looking for gossip and dish and the cheese.

Dish, dish. I want to know who's bringing the drama to your holiday? David, dramatic in your home?

Well, we really we stay away from the drama in our family, and there are people who love to bring the drama and we just stay away from that. But I would say nobody does now. But it used to be Donna when we were all back in our twenties thirties. Donna would get upset because not enough people were paying attention to her at my mom and Dad's house on Christmas. So she would storm out and was like, what happened

What are you doing?

Planned pregnancies? Yeah, unplanned pregnancies?

Yeah yeah, I mean I feel like you probably have gone to a handful of Christmas celebrations and said, hey, got somebody pregnant?

Is that correct?

Oh? Oh absolutely?

Yea Christmas every year?

Yeah?

Yeah, it's basically yeah, it's like, okay, now it's time to find out who Dave got pregnant this year?

Day is this season?

Cassandra and Tanya O?

Yes, what happened?

Oh? Well, well she disappeared. Yeah, dang ye Jes disappeared mysteriously, but I swear I had nothing to do with it.

But I'm for sure.

Jenny, who brings the drama at your holiday? I've got two cousins at are messes. One's name is Dugan. He's not invited anymore to my dad's side.

Name dropped.

He unfortunately has a pretty bad drinking problem and we allowed him for a while, but after his dad passed away. His dad used to be an alcoholic too, but he got clean and sober and more, and we the family reached out multiple times, being like you got to get your life together, Like look at what your dad did, like he got better, and he just hasn't, so he's not invited. And then my other cousin, Lexi has three baby daddies, and I think two of them have been

She got married to.

One of them at one point, but then I think they got a divorce.

But she also I'm fanning, Jenny. I'm trying to cool off the teeth.

She also is not allowed to come to Christmas anymore because she stole a bunch of money from my aunt, which is my uncle always hosts every year, which is his sister. So she she's not allowed to come. So what she'll do is she'll drop her kids off so that the kids can be there with grandma and hang out, and then Grandma's in charge of the kids all the time, and then she leaves and she goes and smokes and drinks. Oh God knows what.

Man I should have had.

You go, last drama.

I don't know how to follow up with that.

Do you have any drama at your holiday?

I have a cousin who Jenny name dropped, so I'll do it. Her name is Ceci. She's she had a kid young, and we we She's always high, which is fine, you can always you can do weed. I do gummies every now and then. But it's just it's you don't have to always be high. I would like to just

I wish I had a lot of people at my holidays because I live for like weird gossipy things going on and drama happening at holidays because they never happened at mine. The worst that could ever happen is my sister or my dad have some kind of meltdown and like shut down and don't want to speak anymore.

To each other, or just in general in general.

Like my dad will be upset because I don't know, something didn't bo right, or maybe we were two minutes late and we had said we would be there at nine thirty and it's nine thirty two and.

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

Wow. That boggles my mind because in my family, even when I was a little kid, nobody brought the drama. And maybe it's because my mom and dad did not allow it, yeah, or we were just kind of like a well adjusted family. There was always little things like I had a sister who was a chronic shoplifter. I haven't talked about that before, but you know, she's better now. She became a nurse and she was fine. But we

Oh.

I think of the Christmas episode of The Bear when it's like just drama from start to finish. Yeah, but like I obviously, like I think if I was in the situation where someone was bringing a lot of drama like all of your cousin's journey, yep, I wouldn't want to be there, but I would love to hear about it.

Yeah.

I mean it's weird because when she when my cousin was invited, the one who has a bunch of kids, she would just sit in the corner and not talk to anyone and I won't say hi to her whatever. But she just was She's never been the friendliest. She was a very spoiled child growing up because she was an only child. And I don't know, it's yeah, she's just she's a mess.

Well, hey, if you have any really good drama happening at your holiday things, please message me about it on Instagram at Bailey on Air. I just want to hear about it.

I want to be a part of it.

On the wall.

You just get a whole paragraph. Yes, somebody's just like my aunt, my cousin, my dad. He's like, tell me more.

Give her details. She's bored, she needs something to do. We'll do Dave's Dirt the last one of the week. Can coming up next let's wrap up the week with Dave's dirt on kdubub. Let's see what we got here. I know that there are I think the Bears in the Packers play tomorrow night at seven twenty. Does that sound right? You're a big Packer fan. I'm pretty sure that they play because it's that time of the year when they're playing games on Saturday and Sunday and the going to the holidays.

Yeah, we're corrected, is seven twenty, and that's going to be a very big game since the Bears are doing well this season. Two and they're all in the same conference.

I think the Packers are still in the hunt, as they say, but the Bears are like ten and two or ten and three. The Bears are not expected to do.

Well this year, right, and the Packers are nine to four.

And one, Okay, so they're still in the hunt.

Halls are ten and four.

Yeah, Bailey's mad because I laughed at her when she said, yeah, that's good. Two is good. That's a guess.

We just I'm so confused, as I swear we just played the Bears. We did just play the Bears like two weeks.

Oh, you're in the same division, so it can be a couple of weeks apart. Ye're yes. And by the way, the Gophers are going to be in the the Rare Bowls, something weird like that. It takes place, I want to say, in Las Vegas. Is going to be the Saturday after Christmas. So the Gophers are in a bowl game. That's good. I love the Gophers. So race it's which one rate rate bawl? I said, the rare ball I mean I was one.

Oh yeah, it happens the day after Christmas.

Yeah, the day after Christmas, So go you Gophers.

Bib Rexa is turning to her fans for help finding her, in her words, a baby daddy. She says, here's what I'm looking for in terms of looks, I'm okay with a six or seven. Personality is the key for me. Height. I don't need someone tall, just taller than me five eight and up. Job must be successful and not a moucher. Must be richer than me or equal. I don't pay for men or do fifty to fifty. And someone who has a good personality, good morals, and is smart and driven,

Lady Gotga has teased that she's been working on a lot of music.

I'm doing good.

I was in the stadio yesterday.

I've been like making a lot of music.

And it's kind of the best making music when you get to see your fans every night. Yeah, because you're kind of like you're energetically just right where you need to be.

I'm being interested in listening to more Lady Goga music.

I like Lydia.

I love this clip of Jennifer Lawrence and Leonardo DiCaprio. They did it on a Variety interview.

Have you rewatched Titanic? No, oh, you should.

I haven't seen it.

I bet you could.

I bet you could, like watch it as a movie now, and it's so good.

I don't really watch. Maybe I do some movies. I've watched you watch your O your movies.

No, I've never made something like Titanic, but if I did, I would.

I would watch it. But I mean, do you put when was the last time you did that? When I was.

Really drunk, I put on American Hustle and then my assistant went to download something.

Would you do it alone or were you showing some showing people like this is this movie?

No?

I was drunk and I was like, I wonder if I'm.

Good at acting.

It's just funny because I feel like a lot of artists or anybody that does like a you know, a show or music or produces something, they typically say no, they don't listen to it. But I was listening to this interview with Olivia Dean. She does man I need and she I I love the spirit that's on her, Like she just really feels like she's into the music. And she was saying, yes, I love listening to my

See, she's proud of herself.

I love that.

Yeah. Can I make a observation. Leonardo DiCaprio sounds deeply unhappy.

I was gonna say, they both don't sound like they want to be there.

Well, she sounds like she's just chill and like she would be like talking to a friend, like you talk to a friend over drinks or whatever. But he just sounds like, you know, it's Leonardo and DiCaprio, and he just sounds deeply dissatisfied with life. And I wonder if, like he's trying to like seek happiness by like banging a bunch of twenty two year olds and out on his yacht. But it's just not working, you know what I mean?

They one twenty seven year old or something for a while.

Now he's sad that's older for him.

But no, in the actual video of that clip, he does look very chill and laid back. But I've never seen him in interviews have a kind of energy before.

That's old years old.

He's Titanic came out in ninety seven, so you're talking literally twenty eight years ago that it came out, and he was twenty then, so he's forty eight fifty ish now it's fifty one. Is you really no, it's not old, but I mean he just looks. There's a lot of fifty one year olds that look like they're elderly and ready with like one foot in the grave that is going to do it for the dirt and the show. Have a great weekend, Stay warm and have fun whatever

Where your seat belt, wear your seatbelt.

Don'ty drugs, and we will see you back here Monday for a couple of more Christmas wishes on KDWB. Have a good weekend.