8am Hour - If The Neighbors Can Hear...

Two confessions. Yes on, Katie WB what are we planning for confessions? It's wild tickets tickets Monday Night. I want to say, it's Monday Night versus the New Jersey Devils. We got your tickets for you. If you want to go, you're going to call in with a confession. We will disguise your voice so nobody will know what you sound like, and I will make your voice sound a little bit like I want to say this right here, Go ahead.

Jenny oh Hi, it's time for me to confess all of my sins of twenty twenty six so far, no sin, No.

Sins yet, No sin.

No.

Your voice will be disguised so nobody will know it's you, and then you will get you know, you gotta go juicy. The better your confession. Remember, you're competing against other people who want to win those wild tickets. And but there's a couple of rules. No, I dented my mom's car and she never found out it was me. No, I stole my dad's car and he never found out that it was me that wrecked his car. And No, there was another one that Vaughan said. No, it's just.

Nothing like super illegal, because then we got to turn in.

Yeah, I shot him man named Reno, just to watch him die.

Yeah, yeah, it was to do that. We don't want to do that. Well, we're waiting for phone calls to come in.

Dave.

I have a question for you, because I notice that you and Vaught oftentimes randomly you'll go to the bathroom at the same time. And obviously I know on men's bathrooms you guys have urinals, and it's so strange to me to think that you're standing next to a coworker and you could just peek over a little bit.

Took about that all the time. Do you really you can see your male co workers?

Not true. No, there's a there's a barrier. There's a little wall. Oh yeah, go in and look sometime nobody cares. I'll show you some time. I'll make sure nobody's in there. Yeah. Between the urinals there's a tall urinal and a short urinal, which I always thought was funny. And then there's a Yeah, there's a wall mounted, you know, kind of like a stall thing, so you really can there's a little bit of privacy in there. But every not every bathroom has that, not everyone is.

It's still weird though, because like like I could go into the bathroom when Jenny's also in the bathroom, but we have like stalls between us. But when you're when you're peeing, and all there is is this like half wall, you can look in the eyes of the man next to you.

Though you just don't know if you if you. Some people don't start a conversation with the urinal because they find it very uncomfortable, and other people have no problem. I don't really have a problem, depending on who it is. Hey, how is your weekend? Oh good? What'd you guys? Do you look? You don't look at each other, You look ahead, or you look down. You actually sometimes you look down at what you're doing. But yeah, that. But there are

Oh yeah, I don't know urinals stadiums.

And I don't know if it is US Bank Stadium or if it's Huntington Stadium or but some are just a trough on the floor. Else, your mixes with everybody else's p and you stand up next to somebody else, and when it's crowded, there's a line shoulder to shoulder to shoulder, and you'll get up there and it's your turn. And sometimes you get shy bladder because there's a guy standing like four inches from your shoulder and there he is a giant, powerful stream. He's got a very healthy prostate.

But gosh, you know, this also makes me think of two Like when you can overhear like a man using the bathroom, it's the loudest thing you've ever heard in your life. Got to help, it did because they're so far away, and so it's like whacking the side of the bowl or whatever. Just like, so imagine there's two dudes standing at a urinal, both p and and one of them is trying to talk to the other one, but they got to talk over the peak.

No, you're missing you're missing everything. No, you're only hearing guys pee into a toilet.

Yeah.

Water, when you pee into a urinal, it's almost no water. There's no water in a urinal. It's pretty much silent. Yeah. The mysteries of urine oals. Wow, that women don't know about.

That's interesting. Well, I'm happy to hear that there's a little bit of a wall divider business. Peen together.

Yeah, we're still it's not weird at all. I mean, it's only weird for the guys who make it weird. You've been doing it since you were in kindergarten. Nobody cares. Okay, we're still looking for confessions. We've got some. We can always use some more. Remember you're playing for wild tickets at six five, one, nine, eight nine KTBB. Let's do your confessions and see what's on your mind. Let's go to first. One is church confessions. I won't say your name,

Okay, there you go. So when I was in first or second grade, I went to Christian School and for a math lesson, we were challenging the offering and I stole some quarters from the.

Offering, but not for some money, but because I wanted them for the quarter collection that was really popular in the early two.

Thousand the states on the back. How many how many quarters did you steal?

I stole like one or two and The stupid thing was is.

They weren't even the ones I needed.

I forgot what states I needed.

I already have seven of Utah. Wow, okay, that is adorable. Please hold, let's go to lawn mower confession. Okay, lawnmower confession, you're up next. Let's hear your story.

So I used to work at a long hair company and at a huge customers property.

I backed into a vehicle and put the gous into it.

And so you were working for your company damage like the client's vehicle and then jet it out.

Yeah, it was probably a dollar car.

Oh did anyone did that client like ever report it to the company and then they had talked to you about it.

I've never heard about it, and even at my new job.

I still wear that company's platter.

Wow.

Okay, good one. Confessions for wild tickets. Let's try this. One has to do with a porta potty. Let's hear your porta potty confession on KATIEWB.

So, my freshman year of college, when I was at a bar a couple of Francs, I needed to ride home and so to get money from you, But I actually licked the toilet sea I have a porter body for fifteen bucks and.

Ride home and half a pack of gum.

Here was why what you couldn't have figured out any other way to get yourself a cab?

I was pretty far from home.

You were?

You were far from home? So you licked? Where on the porta potty did you lick? Sir?

I went right on the rim?

Yeah?

Okay, good one. Confessions for now. The phones are loaded up. Confessions for wild tickets. Let's go to Thanksgiving Confession. You're up next. What's your confession?

So my grandfriend I were in charge of cooking the.

Turkey for Thanksgiving this year, and when he went to go take it out.

Of the oven for the last check, it fell out.

Of the roaster and went sliding across the entire kitchen.

Floor, and we just picked it up and.

Put it back in the.

Of course, yeah, what else can you do? I mean, really, what people don't know won't.

Hurt of Yeah, exactly.

You know, if you're flipping burgers and you flip a burger lands on the floor, you point to it and you go, that's Bailey's, that's mine. Bailey won't know a couple of more. Let's see what we got here for confessions I'm gonna save the spicy one for next because we do have a spicy one. This one is about a dog. Tell me about your dog. Confession for wild tickets. What you got? Hello? A dog in a fence? Does that help you more?

Oh?

Yes?

Hello?

Hello.

So a couple of years ago I agree to let my husband get this little dog. Well, ever since I cannot stand the dog. So our sense is broken, and I know.

It's broken, but my husband does not.

And every day I hope that this little dog runs out this open gears because I just can't stand this.

Oh my god.

I feel bad for the little dog, but I sometimes sometimes dogs are not the best that you want them to be.

I get it. It's funny that the dog just hasn't escaped yet.

Dog. I'm not that dumb. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not gonna be a homeless dog. All right, Here we go with the last one. Three three three three is the keyword here. Let's hear your confession.

Yeah, so I with three men in one day, and none of them ever.

Found out you fleppt with? Is that what you said?

Yeah?

Were you in a relationship with any of them?

No, I was in a relationship with a different one.

So several so separate occasions for each or was this all like one communal thing?

Separate occasions?

Yeah, she said, none of them ever found out about each other. What did you like one? How did let's approach the first one? Tell me the story about the first ones? You meet him in his house or behind the bus depot or where did this happen?

Met online online, he'd some fun.

Okay, met online, went to his house then yes, okay. Number two on.

The way home from that house, messaged another guy and went to his house.

Okay, and guy number three.

I had a date later that night with them.

Oh that was the pre plant a.

Okay, you.

Did one just like not get you what you wanted, So you just like kept going down the line till you found what you wanted.

That's exactly it's the first two did not do it, so number three did.

Locking Number three, you're gonna blame me for that, except for the fact that it sounds like you were in a relationship.

So I will blame you a little bit for that.

But we're not here to judge, Jane. We're not judging anybody. I always wondered about, Like you know, one of the reasons that I don't hire hookers online is that I don't want them come into my house, you know what I mean? And I don't want to go to their house. What did they kill me?

You know?

Let's say I meet some guy and he's on Craig's List and you know, him seeking m or whatever, and I go to his house and he turns out to be a creep. What does should I worry about that?

I think you'd be fine if they came to your house, because honestly, where I live, no, because no, let me just present it a different way. You're moving, you have way too much crap. Maybe you want a hooker to come over to steal some of your crap.

Honestly, I've got an old ex sitting there. Okay, all right, stop screwing around, you guys. We have confessions. We have somebody who stole quarters from the basket at church because she wanted to do collectible quarters. We've got somebody who bought back to lawnmower into an expensive car. A woman who dropped a turkey on Thanksgiving, served it anyway. A guy who licked a porta potty seat for fifteen dollars. A woman who hopes her husband's dog will run away,

I have my top winner because it just reminds me something stupid my friend's been doing Wisconsin. So I'm going with the porta potty liquor.

Okay, porta potty liquor. You guys, what do you think? I mean, he did risk something and I'm glad he got home safely. Yeah, so that's nice, Dave, I got to.

Go with the woman and the three guys in one day. That is the spiciest confession. The rest of them are are very cute. I mean, the quarter one is very cute, the dog one is, the toilet seat, the turkey, they're all cute. But the balls you just one is the three guys in one day.

Should we have vanta side between that and the porta potty one?

No, he said.

Majority rules, So you guys chose porta potty Yeah, Okay, congratulations, there you go. That person is going to go to the Minnesota Wild Game.

It's going to be thrilled. Yes, congratulations.

Don't go lick in the urinals now at Grand Casino Arena to get home?

All right, fine, find yourself some money ahead of time.

What does it pay?

What does it pay?

Confessions? We got more wild tickets for you tomorrow on kd WB. Right now, it is your friend Vont stirring the pod font what's on your mind?

Man?

We need to leave macha in twenty twenty five. I'm so sick of people that say that they like mancha. It's just watered down grass milk is what it tastes like to me. I don't mind macha.

No.

People that drink macha just do it so they way they can say that.

That's not true. I love tea every every day I treat in the afternoon as some sort of a tea. I love tea. Shout out tea, so shout out missus Kelly's tea. And I love Macha. It is very full of caffeine. You can have about one maybe two cups of macha. But I do it the right way. I got it because we were in Japan, because we're world travelers. Accord into Japan and parts of Montana.

Uh huh.

So you get a little bowl and a whisk and you stir it in a figure eight shape and it's so good and rich. It tastes a little grassy. You can get machya with ginger in it. I don't drink it to like brag to anybody, but maybe I should.

It does make you. You do feel better drinking it because it's green.

Well, I have a a I'm gonna add to that, right, another green thing that I think we should leve in twenty twenty five. Really, this is flavors, pickles, anything, pickle, pickles, juice.

Pickled pizza, all that jazz. Leave that in twenty twenty five. Man, No, pickles will never die. They're so good. I must be out here. Raw dog in a pickle? Why yes, why would you roll dog a pickle? Any pickle?

Pot belly the other day and got our door dash and they're like, do you want to pickle? You know, giant giant pickle? Thank god it was you know, it was cut into four pieces because I couldn't get my mouth around it. Susan was able to, which was quite impressive. Pickles, yeah, pickles were They're not going away. Yeah, pickles, Macha. I'm trying to think of other flavors that we should leave. In twenty twenty five, we're gonna go around the room baiby olives Yoh yeah, well it's not like a flavor.

Trying to like olives.

Yeah.

I don't like that. I will back you up. And the other thing I would say is anything with Sabbi flavored.

I just I don't like. It's weird to me. It tastes like tar.

It's so weird, okay, and really nothing you know what else?

I think, what do you think to buy chocolate?

Because I don't think it's really as boozy as people make it seem. I think it's just it became like a big thing this past year, and I think just because the name Dubai is in front of it, people are like, oh.

I have to try do buy chocolate. Ooh, I'm not I'm not gonna lie.

I never heard of that until the person I'm seeing his like nephew, wanted some like Dubai chocolate for Christmas, And I was like.

Is that literally chocolate for like?

You can get it, like you can get what is it? Garadelli is? Yeah, I feel like it's chocolate that has macha in the middle. Yeah, isn't it.

It's yeah, both of them, order me some baby.

Yeah, I will top tapa tapa tappen.

Both of them going to the now. You have the palate of a ten year old kid. No, you like chicken tenders. Chicken tenders? You like French fry. I love strawberry wafers. And that's really I mean, that's that's really it.

What flavors do you think we should leave?

In twenty twenty five, people are texting me saying I need to be fired for going after pickles.

I will stand on pickles before.

I will drink macha and do bui chocolate before I ever come close to a pickle.

I have a tea party over at my house and have all y'all over the house and make you a macha. Yeah, make you some echy Carabani tea.

Can I actually have a bubble tea? Please? A bubble milk?

I don't really?

Can you make Thai milk tea?

Uh pro?

That's why?

Please?

Thank you?

H no, thank you. We'll be right back on, Katie w B. I gotta this is an experience that we believe every woman has had, and this is somebody who is experiencing this right now, and she wants confirmation. Has every woman had this experience? We're gonna find out. You got to hear what she's gonna tell you coming up next on Katie w B Stay here Ran TV. We got somebody on the phone here is gonna. I think

Yes?

Ready? Yeah, button ready? Okay, there we go. We're back in action. Hi, Mayahi, tell me your story about what is it you think that all women have this in common? What's the what's the story?

Yeah?

So I just moved into my first apartment.

Congratulations and thank you.

And so I also have a newer boyfriend and I had him over to hang out, and you know, you know we you know all this. So the first time that we hooked up my headboard was something against the wall that happened. Obviously, I was wow. I was super embarrassed about it. Right, So for the next time I had moved my bed out to avoid that, but now my bed started to squeak, like really, really really.

Show me to do an impression of how your bed sounds mind if you will.

In my head, I mean it's still echoing. It's like.

Going crazy on that thing, right Lucky Hill, so bad, So you go ahead.

Oh well, I was I was just going to say, like, now, obviously that's all I can hear. It's echoing in my head. And now that we're every time we're in the middle of, you know, sexually time, all I'm thinking about is how many people do I share this wall with? Who can hear me? And is he thinking about the noise?

Oh?

And yeah, because I mean it's just so loud and it's so bad, to the point where it's now throwing off my vibe.

I got it. No, I feel that. Okays, As a guy, I'm going to kind of stay out of this one. But I will say half of us notices, half of us doesn't care. Yeah, at the same time, we'd rather have it not be pray or yeah, we'd rather not, but we're also we're just happy to be there. You're just happy to be there. You like tune it out? Does this is this a thing on the show.

I think at the beginning of a relationship in that way with someone, you are very conscious of everything around you, everything that's happening, and everybody fold that's folding in a way you don't want to fold. So I do think, like, right now, yes, you're super hyper aware of it. I think eventually down the line, if you continue to see this person like, you'll forget about it. It won't be a thing. It's just like whatever. But I get it. I'm thrown off by the littlest of things.

I'm hyper aware of it when it's my upstairs neighbor, for sure, because I can hear it happening.

But it doesn't ever last that long. So I think I would only be that for them.

I think I would only be concerned if it was like an hour and you're just going click constantly, because like, is it really going to bother somebody? If it's you know, ten minutes.

It's more embarrassing. I think it's like, you know, just the thump against the wall.

Can I ask a question, what are you more embarrassed about? As a woman?

I'm asking you listen to the show by the sound of your bed or by the sounds that are being produced from the love making.

Yes, all of it. You know what I'm saying.

I can be embarrassed about anything. I'm going to be okay about anything. Okay, really, i.

Think I'm passed the point of being embarrassed about any of that only if a little.

About things the neighbors can hear. Though, if the neighbors can hear that, you really need to see somebody, somebody in the world. I don't know, let me know, maya

Yeah, we've got some text messages that gives some advice here that says put a blanket between the headboard and the wall, or they make a bracket to brace your headboard. Nowadays, a lot of people are saying w D forty, tighten your bed frame, put patting on the wall and use w D forty.

The other suggestion that I'm going to say, don't you says move it to the couch.

Go to the couch. Don't do that. You're not at your neck, you're your neck. Well, I mean, obviously there's.

People sit on that think I'm not concerned about that. I was concerned about the lack of area. You have to move around it.

Yeah, weird. Your head is at a weird angle. You got one leg over here, you have.

Up.

Hurry up. As a guy, I think that's what you're thinking.

I had to loan my heating pad to Jenny because she did the lovin on.

The couch once. Yeah, that over the edge of a pinch nerve or something.

Another text says, you are much more considerate person than I am. I've never cared at all about the noise, and I'm at the top floor of my building. I'm a woman, by the way, you get it, girl.

Another text says, my bed squeaks really loud. I hope my neighbors can't hear it. But then I can hear them when they literally open a drawer. So you're hoping they can't hear the squeaky squeaky bed, but when they slide open the silverware drawer, Oh look, oh crap, Maya. You know, I don't know what to tell you except you are not alone. Put your mattress on the floor.

Yeah, maybe, thank you, Maya.

Have a great day. We'll be back in a second. They they something's wrong in this house, or it's I think it's a it's a it's a it's a house. And somebody goes to check what is in the basement. Oh my gosh, what did they find in the basement. It is not what you think. I promise, and I'll tell you next on Katie w Babs brought to you probably by the LEO Agency. So this wild life group happened over in Wisconsin. They heard something was weird going

Every season we deal with that.

Yeah, anything from squirrels chewing up windows, to raccoons coming down chimneys, to deer smashing through windows. It is true. You know, we have the house out in Colorado and we hear something in the chimney and was like, what is that. We had somebody come out. It was a raccoon family that had built the nest in the chimney and guess how they got it out. No, they didn't

I like that.

That seems a lot more, you know, humane than lighting a fire.

That was my thing was like, well, let's just smoke him out of there, let's burn him out of there. And they said no. And then so we haven't had any come back, so we're pretty happy.

I just like this.

The fact that he's like, yeah, there's just poop and grass everywhere.

Pop and glass, ooping glass, poop and glass combined. George's brought to you, bar you can't make this stuff up. Has brought to you by the agency coming up. Probably my favorite story on the Dirt today is the other day it wasn't Ashley Tisdale. Wasn't it Ashley Tisdale's she was She's like, no, the mom group that I'm hanging out with, they're so snotty to me. And then we're all like, oh, well, they just sound like terrible people.

Heart from the fate of Oh.

My conspiracy theory. That song was written by AI. They asked AI to write the catchiest, most melodic marble earworm that it could possibly come up with, and AI thought for a few minutes and came up with that song.

You think, I don't.

It's my conspiracy theory because that song is catchier than any song I've heard in a long time.

Don't you say that every now and then? You thought that about somebody to carpenter Taste, I heard you bang Together and.

Espresso is even more Ai because it is just so catchy.

It is so good.

So I wonder whether artists are going to start doing that, whether they're going to ask, like, you know, AI, to write a catch because what is a catchy song? If I wrote a song, I couldn't tell you whether it was catchy I could write I want it that way, and I'd be like, Bailey, is this a good song? And be like, yeah, it's a really good song. I don't know what makes a catchy song. I can only tell you when I hear it. But Ai knows what

Well. I wonder though, is there like a science though behind it?

Because then are there like music scientists or like music music engineers like you got?

Those people are the ones that know.

And I wouldn't necessarily say like, oh, it's Ai that's coming up with it. It's probably these like music engineers who have like studied their whole life on like what makes catchy songs.

Or a natural songwriter like Diane Warren or the Swedish guy Max Martin. Yeah, so here, I just asked Ai, what defines what are the traits of a catchy song? Simple, repetitive hooks, memorable melodies. What's a memorable melody? I don't know, strong rhythms, easy to sing along to, and creating a cognitive itch that makes your brain want to keep repeating them short familiar phrases, strategic repetition, emotional resin and blah blah blah blah blah.

Emotional resonance. Mmm, that is a catchy song. If that just makes a song that you can relate.

To what makes a song catchy?

Yeah, I see.

I feel like that's subjective because what I find catchy is very different from what you find catchy, Dave.

No question. However, songs like that that are massively appealing to be catchy. So in other words, like a local guy that works, you know, like like plays part time at First Avenue, he can write a nice song, you know what I mean. Yeah, But to write a song that's universally catchy like Taylor Swift, that's how do you do that? It's so interesting to me. I just don't I don't have no idea how that works.

And I wonder if the.

Artists, I mean half the time the artists don't write it. It's writers and producers. But what if the artists know that it's going to be catchy as much as the writers and producers.

That's a really good question because a lot of the time an artist will turn down a song like I think who was it that, instead of Waterfalls was supposed to be sung by somebody else? Oh wow, google it. It was offered to somebody else and they said. And a lot of the time, an artist will record an album full of songs and they'll be like, well, what song do you think is the single? And they'll be like, oh, well this song over here, and they'll release it and

Right, h answer for Waterfall? Sorry speculations, David good speculation.

All right, let's move on. Okay, let's do I was just gonna say, soup brackets. What's the latest on the soup brackets on the Dave Ryan Instagram.

Well, let's keep starling, because I was not prepared to ginging that up.

I just have to say a conversation that it was had off air, was we talked about sup brackets and Bailly goes, I have toop yesterday and Dave goes, great story, bailing, that's great story.

Yeah, literally, just talking about soup.

We take every chance to insult each other. Here in the studio. That's what friends do.

Well, I had soup yesterday. Well, kid, I have chicken wild rice. Oh ask me?

How?

Ask me about your shirt?

Do you like my shirt? This hoodie that I'm wearing.

It's a little saggy, baggy and it looks like it's wrinkled a little bit. But other than that, I hate it. So this is what we do. This is what we do, is we make fun of because that's what friends do. Like when I come in with a shiny new haircut from Great Clips, these guys don't go, oh man, your hair looks great. They're like, oh my god, did Stevie Wonder cut your hair? And it's like, that's fun, that's funny. I did say that once.

Yeah, it's not from Great Clips, though they do a good job.

They always do a great.

On Instagram. I'm trying to figureut the best soup of all time. Yesterday we narrowed it down from eight to four. And today we have chicken wild rice versus chicken noodle. It's a battle the chickens, but chicken chicken wild rice is winning.

I believe that.

Ale I had chicken wild rice soup yesterday.

David, that's a.

Great story, Bailey and tomato soup versus French onion.

Now, what do you think is winning? Right now?

I feel like I know what's gonna win, but I feel like I know what I want to.

Win Between those two, I think tomato soup is winning.

Yeah, only by math eight points. Tomato soup is winning.

Really only by eight because French onion slaps you guys.

It is so until the cheese is gone.

Then then you have to be better at going one at cheese a little bit at a time.

What's wrong with you?

She sticks into one glop Well.

Yeah, you know what they need to make for a French onion soup is the round spoon, but then have one side that's serrated so that you can like cut the cheese as.

You're swooping it.

Not a bad idea, and then cut your mouth serrated.

Or or glopless French onion soup. So it's balls of French.

Onion soup like balls of cheese.

Yeah, like cheese balls, cheese balls.

Yeah, that sounds good. That's actually innovative.

Thank you write it down, Jenny. We're going to invent glopless French onion soup player. Good story, Dave, Okay, do you like my hoodie?

You know, I it's a little bit like bluer than I would like, and I mean it is kind of big on you.

But like other than that, I hate its.

Okay, thank you. Let's do the dirt on KDWB. This is my favorite story of the day because it really is dirt and it's delicious. So let's dive in. We were talking about Hillary Doak. So the story was the other day Ashley Tisdale was saying, I'm with his mom group and they're all snotty and they're all mean girls. Well, Hillary Duff is in this group. It's a very star studed mom group. Hillary Duff's husband explained why Ashley Tisdale was banished from the mom group that she called toxic.

Yeah.

I feel like that's a misconception for like a lot of celebrities that we think like, oh, they can just go and be with whoever they want. I'm sure they experience loneliness.

Probably because they also probably don't want to just go out with anyone they want because that person probably wants something from them.

Well, that's true, and you don't want somebody to go out with you just because you're Ashley Tisdale. Let make sure she could find like twenty women easily, but do you want to go out as Ashley Tisdale. That's why celebrities tend to marry each other and tend to hang out together because they don't want to have somebody who likes them just because they're Ashley Tisdale, right.

Yeah, this is really giving Sharpay from high school music. Yes, that was the character she played and she was a little bit of a brat on that. Kylie Jenner and Timothy Shalla may have been dating for about three years and it's only a matter of time before Timothy proposes. According to a gossip guru, it says everyone close to them say it's happening very soon. They're serious and it's

Yeah, it's not like those plane rides are really fast at all.

Last night on Jimmy Fallon, Jamie Bauer Campbell or Jamie Campbell Bauer was on it. He plays Vecna in Stranger Things and he did this little like kind of cutesy workout video want to get snatched like Vekna, it's time

That's so weird.

I feel like that's not true, but I like the speculation.

I like speculation, and I like the conspiracy, and like, even if it's not true, I like that the Stranger Things, like cast and crew and everything is feeding into it because it's fun.

Today's National Pastcast Day, guys, the hard hitting dirt news. Do your kids still laugh at fart jokes in twenty twenty six?

Is that an outdated thing? I think it's eternal.

Honestly, it's forever falling and farting the two funniest things.

Yep, yeah true.

We asked that earlier and teacher said, yeah, I teach nine year olds, and they still think farts are very funny. Yeah, yep, so in Stranger Things and good God, this show has made the dirt every day for like two weeks now. They used print songs in the finale, but they considered using some classic rock songs like Pink Floyd and somebody put together what it would sound like if they would have used a Pink Floyd song.

Right the countdown begins, hey you.

Out there, the cod getting only getting old.

Fear me from the wall. That's Pink Floyd called hey you.

So these are some really hilarious, hilariously wrong fifties predictions. So from the nineteen fifties, these were predictions that were made that did not happen. One of them is machines would give us three day weekends. Nope, we are still working that five day work week and a cheap day weekend. Another one was the US would fully adopt the metrics system.

Are we like the only country that's one of the few.

Yeah, there's a few here and there, But I know that back when I was in school, we had to learn meters and kilometers and all that because oh yeah, well in another four or five years, we're all going to be under the metric system. It just never stopped. They gave up.

Another one is that cable would end commercials, which is so not true because companies realized that you could still charge subscribers and show ads because.

They were going to do it. The cable was new. If I would watch MTV or CNN, there were no commercials on cable because you're paying for it already. But then they realized, just exactly like you said, they could slip in commercials and you would still watch, and so they do.

These our predictions from the nineteen fifties. Another one is robot housekeepers were inevitable. They would be cooking a dinner, changing diapers, serving as butler's and handymen the jetson's.

Yeah right, I guess the room bas the closest you got.

Gasoline engines would disappear, and that transition may finally be happening, but obviously we still have lots of gas powered cars.

A couple of other one. Women would tower over men.

A columnist wrote that women were expected to reach an average height of six feet tall. Things to improve to nutrition and medical science, and these superwomen would dominate the workforce.

Don't think that, I.

Think people are right now than they were like even one hundred years ago. Yeah yeah, I think the average height from a man one hundred years ago it was like five foot seven. Oh wow.

One more. Jet packs were supposed to be everywhere. Some designers thought jet packs would be in as ordinary as bicycles, not just sci fi gimmicks.

Man's that'd be iconic.

When I used to blow the candle out every year for my birthday, I would wish that one day I could fly, like my physical being could fly.

This doesn't happen. Yeah, yeah, don't give up. Still wish it.

So. After it was announced that Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence were teaming up to produce a Miss Piggy movie, there were rumors that were popping up that one of them might be playing the title character of Miss Piggy, but Emma Stone says, no, I will not be playing Miss Piggy.

In the new movie. Miss Piggy is playing Miss Piggy.

Come on, she would be storming out right now at the mere suggestion. That's the biggest insult to Miss Piggy that I've ever heard.

And I will not have her name dragged through the mud like.

That, which is funny, very It's giving very Muppet humor there, so I really appreciate that.

And I can't wait.

For a Miss Piggy movie, and I want to know what it's going to be about.

I can't wait.

We know that Gwyneth Paltrow had quite the year her and Chris Martin divorce, but she says he lost a role after the divorce too.

And there was like a lot of harsh stuff in the press, and I think the distributor was like, this might be too too hot to touch.

So that was great because I was getting a divorce and then I got fired off. Some was sol geesheesh.

Movies this weekend, Today's Wednesdays. Some movies open up tomorrow. Avatar, Fire and Ashes expected to earn another twenty million, and it'll be the fourth week in a row that's top the box office, and a couple of new arrivals. Primate, which is about a monkey that catches like a pet monkey that catches some sort of like disease, rabies or something like that and goes crazy. It is getting ninety

Oh that's a Letta's husband right there.

Yeah. Yeah, I love like apocalyptic movies, and that sounds like a good one.

Golden Globe's host Nikki Glazer said that there's one actress that she could never roast. Any guesses by anyone if you haven't seen the story already.

A comedian or an actor Chris, actress Meryl Street.

Okay, good guess anyone else? Oh, man, I know I put you guys on the spot. I'll just say I don't know. She declared Julia Roberts off limits because she is America's sweetheart. So she's not roasting her ever at a Golden Globes, but she hosts.

I like that.

Wow.

So they're bringing back Star Search, which was kind of a big deal in the nineteen eighties, and there's a trio of hosts here that are kind of random grab bag hosts, and I'm not sure why they're going to be the hosts. Are the judges or whatever on Star Search and that's jelly Roll, which I guess makes sense. Yeah, but then Christy Tagan okay, and Sarah Michelle Geller.

Why why are they looking for these stars singer competition?

I think it's entertain but I they do stand up comics as well.

Yeah.

Right, but like jelly roll makes sense because if it is a lot of like singing, that makes sense.

Maybe.

Honestly, I was gonna try and rationalize Christy Tagan. No, I can't rationalize Christy Tigan nor Sarah Michelle Geller. Dave, you know this ans saram Assuman.

What was Simon Collles's background to be a judge on American Idol?

You know, that's a good question. I thought about that the other day because nobody knew him until he got mega famous on American Idol. I think it was a record producer.

See that makes sense, right, that makes sense, But like, yeah, those guys don't really love see.

The Vampire Slayer, social media lady model, Christy Tagan and then jelly Roll Okay, well.

They're just the host though, right, they're not the judges.

Well it's it's kind of uncertain the way that this is written. It says like hosts, but it also makes them seem like they're a panel, well like panel of.

I forget how it works.

Yeah, right, Sam, I don't think it was alive.

Don't remember? All right? That is the dirty It is brought to you by us, by the Dave Ryan Show. So thank you for being here. We'll be back in a second. We got John mulaney tickets for the best laugh. Yep, you got a good laugh. We're gonna say it to John mulaney, so we'll do that coming up in a few seconds. And then Jenny's got a theory that I don't know where you get this theory. I think you probably saw it on Instagram maybe, but it sounds moderately plausible.

Yep, Shucked is the musical that I saw last night.

And so when you hear this joke, you'll just you know, you'll laugh naturally anyway, but you really got to amp it up a little because we're looking for the best laugh contest six nine eight nine KTWB. So people tell you, oh my god, Katie, you have the best laugh, it's so funny. Then you should call six' five one nine eight nine KT wb and then get in the best laugh contest For John. Mulaney give me an. Example i'll show.

You, david your grandma dad doing what she, loved making toast in the bathrob.

You know something like. That can you give me?

One, Yeah, jenny remember WHEN i peed in the pool the lifeguard yelled so LOUD i almost fell In.

God you imagine a bath like?

That oh that's My santa. Laugh, yeah a good. ONE i like.

That one six five one nine eight NINE. Katwb and we'll look for the best laugh to get you tickets next On KATIE wb for the best. Laugh call now to win