8am Hour - Fig Kinda Guy

One on one point three k dB B Dave Bryan Show. It is going to get warmer, I think next week and we'll see highs back in the thirties.

Yeah.

I think it should be getting warmer in like April.

Yeah, something like that. That'll be It's KATWB. So we've got a realtor on the phone, a real estate agent named Renee, and you are calling with a desperate plea of public service announcement. Hi Renee, good morning, desperate tell me what's going on?

Okay?

So I have a PSA for you, like you said, and I really am begging you to please help me get the word out. Okay, I am a real estate agent like you said, and again, let me just beg you. People do not smoke weed in your house and then wonder why it won't sell.

We tweet just the weed period only.

Imagine are you running into this more and more or what's going on?

Do you know how many people put their house on the market and I'm trying to help them sell it and it just reeks from weed?

It does like.

The walls in the carpet is a big trap too. Yeah. I recommend zero zero res the weed right out of your carpet anyway, So you.

Tell them guys, you guys need to smoke outside because when there's just showing, other people can smell it.

I know your nose blind.

I know, I know how it goes. The homeowners always like nah ah, dude, bro, we can't smell it, blah blah blah blah. Yeah there is everybody else can smell it. You are nose blind to that.

I'm sorry. So then you probably get the blame for like not doing a good job as a real estate agent.

Oh oh, thank you for pointing that out. Yes, I'm telling you.

Let me take a breast passionate.

I am very passionate about this topic. If you want your house to sell, stop smoking weed inside your house, inside your bedroom and then blaming me for pricing the house wrong or not timing the market right.

Put down the pipe.

I'd argue the same thing with kind of like cigarettes too. My apartment in Iowa, the carpet just smelled straight like cigarettes, and I asked the management. I was like, can y'all do something about this? And they were like, we cleaned it like three times. I was like, well, damn, I guess honestly, and I might could be wrong. I'll bet more people smoke weed than smoke cigarettes anymore. Like one friend that smokes cigarettes. Nobody really smoke. People do, of course,

That smell like weed. I've had people that show up at like, you know, if we're doing some sort of appearance down at the you know, like O'reillatto part store. Yeah, and somebody will come in and say, hey, listen to your show all the time, Like whoa.

Hey what the guy contact show?

What can you do? I mean, you stop smoking weed in your house and you got to get your house painting. Where did you get stuck in the walls and the carpet and the ceiling and the bed of furniture, all the furniture too. Yeah, she says, everywhere.

We're also vaping in their homes. Nobody smokes cigarettes in their homes anymore. That was reserved for the seventies and eighties but I don't think anyone smokes cigarettes in their homes anymore.

If they do, they're crazy.

No, everybody goes outside of the garage.

Or on the back deck, and I have there's people like living near me who do smoke outside. But like, I don't understand why the same thing isn't done for smoking weed, because you're still smoking something.

It's still smoked. That's like getting into the walls.

Rah delicious bra, that's.

What they say. Ah, here's a text message and support Renee is a real estate agent and said stop smoking weed in your house and wondering why doesn't sell this text set, there's a bunch of text messages. I went to check out a house. It smelled like weed. I ended up offering got it. I think part of the reason that I got it because it smelled like weed and nobody else wanted it. Wow, this has weed. I'm

I think yeah.

And also like weed, We've just explained, it has like such a specific, skunky smell, but it almost feels like the smell itself has like an oil to it, so it like seeps into your clothes and into the walls, and it.

Definitely hangs on me, I think more than cigarettes. Yeah, I think there's probably like a weed oil, a weed oil. That's true because of the sky.

You just reminded me.

You just reminded me.

This year, I went to take pictures with Santa, and Santa smelled like weed.

Got up.

How is that, mom?

Funny?

It'd be worse that the kids said, Santa smells like weed.

Yeah, Catherine on our YouTube set up here in a Noka lots of people still smoke, And then Raven said, absolutely agree about cigarette smoke. There a house so that you can smell the cigarette smoke from the outside. If you could smell it from the outside, that's a major red flag.

Tesasan saying, whoever decided to legalize marijuana did not consider the smell.

No, they did not. They didn't, and you can smell it. I mean, I'll tell you. Walking around the State Fair, which I love the State Fair, it's like weed. Okay, weed, Can you not smoke at the State Fair? Please? Please? I had a family member try to sell their house and one of the people who lived there smoked indoors and they really had I don't know if they had trouble selling it, but it was definitely an issue because they could not get the smoke cigarette smoke smell out.

Oh, and carpet is so expensive too.

Painting helps, but you would want to like wash your walls first and then paint.

Okay, I think you could have replaced or like Dave said, zero res the carpet, But what takes it out of the walls.

The walls, I think is my bigger issue. And the walls can speak.

Okay. Another to check this, here's one you probably never dealt with as a real estate agent. Renee the smell of a dead body. Somebody says, my brother lived in an apartment where somebody died and nobody knew about it for weeks. It got into the ventilation system and all the smells went in his apartment. So much worse than weed.

Yeah, terrible. I'd rather smell weed, honestly than dead body.

Yeah. Another one says this text says, I'm smoking weed in the house right now as we speak. But I disagree. Weed smoke doesn't last in the house at all.

She says, your nose blind to it.

Though.

I think that's kind of true. It's like you walk into a room that smells like, you know, like like some kind of funky mold or something like that, or fish, and then after a while you're like, I don't smell anything anymore.

Eight eleven in the morning, we can bake.

Hey, Renee, we got your PSA out there. Thank you very much, good luck.

Thank you so much.

I have a wonderful day, you too.

Bye would have been luckily not a problem that I have.

Yeah, think, goodness, who.

Our house smells like everybody's house has a smell. Remember when you go to your friend's house when you were a kid and it has smell to it, Yes, and it wasn't always like a bad smell. But people's house has a smell to it. Sometimes it's like cinnamon and freshly baked cookies, and other times it's like a little bit of sewer gas.

Yeah, like diapers.

And that's why I think the people that that smoke weed in their house don't think it smells because you're used to it. Like even you as an individual, you have a smell, will you hug somebody or your partner, You're like, oh, this is their smell.

But it's all so concerned that I smell or that my house smells.

I was convinced I was the girl who had the soup house because I have established that I was a super girl in high school.

I called you supergirl because you smell like souper. Right, Well, they didn't call me supergirl. I just knew it. But I did eat a lot of soup. But I thought my house probably smells like soup.

Great story, Bailey, All right, we gotta take a break. Thanks for all the calls on that text messages. If you got anything textas at KDWB one don't smoke weed in your house, And then wonder why Renee can't sell it crying show on one oh one point three kd W B and a little shout out to you, Secretary Bree. She's getting to crown right now.

That's your teeth right.

Uh yeah, and either that or she's royalty.

Oh wow.

And uh she got her headphones on, trying to distract yourself. Little shout out Secretary Brie. And also Chee Chee's wife, Rachel. I got a birthday today, very very happy birthday from Chee Chee to Rachel and everybody here on kd W. What we're in trouble? Where you just on the phone now?

The boss is on the phone. I thought he was at the town.

He's out of town.

All right, back it.

Hello, it's Dave. Hey, it's rich Oh hi, Rich, Yeah, I heard it was you.

How are you?

I'm I'm good. You know. This is what I don't understand, Dave. And look, you and I have worked together a long time. But just because I'm out of town doesn't mean you can do whatever you want to do on the radio.

What did I do?

Oh my gosh, you know what you did?

You played Hamster Dance yesterday?

Oh yeah, I didn't even hear that.

How how did you How did you hear that we played Hamster Dance.

I don't even necessarily have to be listening when you guys play it. I can see all the songs that have played in the Morning Show. So I was just going over the Morning Show yesterday you guys were doing, and you know, we've got the regular songs that we play, Taylor Swift, and then all of a sudden, I see Hamsterdam, Yes, sir.

Why people loved it? Rich? People? People loved to back me up, you guys, people, Yeah, loved it.

It was for Name That Tune.

That's why we were We were playing it and as the winner of Name That Tune me thank you so much. Rich.

I got to pick what song I wanted to play. I had no pars I lost, so I chose.

I told her not to. Bailey, you chose it? No, I told her not to. I told her not to. I said, well, Bailey's fault. I mean, I just pick whatever you want. I'm supporting women, Rich, I'm supporting women and letting women. You know, yeah, ive that.

But it is called the Dave Ryan Show, right, You and I haven't had any conversations before.

Okay, okay, all right, fair enough, that's fair.

Sorry, Rich, we won't do it again.

No more.

Can I not trust you to run the radio station and your morning show the way it's supposed to be done, even if I'm out of town.

It's so fun though, it's just such. I promise that I will not play Hamster Dance on the show again.

Okay today, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna take you at your word.

Okay, you got it.

You better make sure deal. You know, I'm doing uh employee evaluations.

Right now as.

Well, for both for everybody but you and Bailey too, and I'm finish.

Sure, Yes, I.

Lost.

All right, we'll be good. We'll be good boys and girls.

All right, I'll see you guys.

Just a laugh.

I don't remember him saying anything about super califrangilistic xspoli do chess alwish off the coming in a phone call this time tomorrow. It's all around them, Dave, it's Can I not trust you when I'm out of town to run the radio station correctly? You did not say anything about this song. Dave played that really slow, boring wild Flowers Billie Eilish song. That song is so boring, Dave, I got an idea. Play Taylor Swift for the nine hundredth time this morning.

When has got your tongue, there's no need for dismayor just summon off this world and then instead they.

Use it perfantly, or it could for example, one girl, how many girls we want?

Lovely you.

Geez? I mean if I get fired after thirty two and a half years for playing super califragilistic xpialidocia, so I have a good story to tell. Why did you leave Katie WB Well, one morning we decided to play that, and.

We decided to play that because we had decided to play Hamster Dance.

Also a great song.

Yeah, a lot of positive comments. People are like, I love Hamster Dance. I want to hear it again. Yeah, who Pete and riches cheerios this morning. All right, we'll be back with you can't make this stuff up? Coming up next on Katie, we will have Cony great tickets for you and ches second, so hang on for that, not Josh, Yeah, but we'll have that a little bit here. What is a normal thing it secretly grosses you out?

I feel like it's only it only grosses me out when it's bad, when it's like, here's my entire tongue, Like, that's not that's not how.

You do it.

No.

Ohd people letting dogs lick their face. The sponge in the sink, that thing is seen war hair stuck in the shower drain, food little sink.

Oh oh yeah, no, the hair in the drain.

When I was a kid, even still kind of today, I used to be gravely afraid of the hair of the tub. If my mom or grandma because I live with them, had hair in the tub, I'd make them like sterilize the whole thing before I took a bathe Oh wow.

Uh.

Food in the sink, I mean you rent out here, you know, you get a little spaghetti, a little pasta little spiral noodles, and you rent your plate off and then there it is in the little trap there.

Kind of grosses me out when the trap that was full of food, that's true.

Yeah, the wet around the sink in public bathrooms. So when people splashing around like a bird and a bird bath, you don't know what that is. If it's it's not sink, it's just water, but it's what if it's cryptospidium, it could be taste it to see contact lenses. I can't look at somebody taking them out or putting them in. Human hair if it's not attached to a head. Gross Hair does not gross me out. Yeah, hair does not, not really.

But if I'm like, I mean, here's hot take Even if I'm eating food and I find like one hair in it, people will be like, I'm sending this back disgusting, Like, no, your hair falls out, I'll just pull it out and eat the.

Rest of it.

That's if it's somebody else's hair. No, if I get a shallad and there's a long.

Hair on it, I always think, well, I'll just pull it out, and if there's more than one, then yes, I'll send it back.

But it's just one. That's an accident.

You're also the same person that you, uh, it was molding your yogurt and you just scooped it out and then.

Eat around it, eat around the mold.

A couple of other things that are normal, but secretly gross you out. People seem to like clipping their nails anywhere other than a bathroom. I find it horrifying.

That's gross to me.

Styrophoam. I hate the texture, but even more so, I hate the sound of two pieces being rubbed against each other. Yes, chewing loudly and making sounds like mmmm, bom bom bomb. The gulping sound people make wind drinking. It drives me insane. And here's just a kind of a funny one. I have a really hard time with bare handling gas pumps. I saw a news item when I was a kid that said they're one of the dirtiest things you can touch,

Yeah, I mean, if you drop it, I'll just pick it right back up and eat it. And like I'm I'm rarely super duper sick. Knock on wood. I might get like a sore throat occasionally, but I'm rarely sick sick. So I think that's a good thing that I eat things off the floor.

I'm going I'm gonna name some things. Then you tell me whether you would eat them off the floor. Okay, chip a Hoy, you drop it, you pick it up, do you eat it? Yeah?

Okay, I just gotta go eat it.

Hershey's kiss a little bit sticky here, Yeah, okay, you're gonna eat that off the floor.

Yeah? The meatball, absolutely not, because it's wet.

If it's wet and it hits the floor, I'm absolutely not gonna eat it.

It's your floor.

Yeah, No, absolutely not.

Okay. Let's say you're at Target. You drop a mini chip a Hoy on the floor at Target while you're strolling around the aisles.

Probably not not eating chi hoy. I'm out in public.

And then I just think of all the like shoes and like cart wheels that have been like on that spot.

What okay, like wheels from the cart, not a car.

You're you're at the dog park, you're having a fig Newton. No, you drop the fig Newton into the grass by the picnic table. Do you pick it up and eat it?

No? I would stand next to it, though, and wait for a dog to come over and be like, oh look, I got this for you, and like, can I pet your dog?

I wouldn't even eat a fig Newt and out of the packaging what.

They're one of my favorites.

Big new ins come right after Popeye's biscuits that just make your throat dry.

Oh yum, I love.

I don't know if I've ever eaten a fig by itself, though. Have you you seem like the type? Dave?

How do I seem like the type? Describe that in detail? An old man, old guys eat figs?

Is this?

I got to put that on my shopping list.

Apparently bigs just like a little, a little bundle of figs. You'd be like, oh, what what are you coming a bundle? What do you got for a snack? Their? Dave, just a few figs? Said nobody ever. I see what she's saying, though.

Loki definitely is giving like like, uh, there you like a fig kind of guy.

This is a toxic work environment. You're telling me, I look like the kind of guy that eats figs out of a zip bloc bag of figs.

And then like those saltine crackers that come in the big green tins.

Yeah, yeah, you're that guy. Nobody kind of guy.

Nobody eats just uh radish guy. Really good? Is the texture? All right? We'll be back in a second. Oh, we are going to give away right now. Let's get tickets for Cone and Gray. Call me now, random number caller for the show coming up next month six five one nine KWB. Get your Cone and Gray tickets here on k d W B.

Harlier.

This morning, we were talking about smells and we've always you know, we're comfortable in saying that vont wears a lot of cologne, almost too much cologne, if I do say so myself. So with that in mind, what scent, David, Yes, would you turn into a perfume or a cologne if you could use any scent? And that's like what you would want to be known as. Like, oh, Dave smells.

Like lane a cinnamon roll, cinnamon rolls, cinnamon rolls, I think yeah, or citrus. Citrus would be good. You feel like when you peel an orange, it's like yeah, Oh, now Dave smells like a freshly peeled orange.

They do have like orange scented or not orange scented, but like orange flavored cinnamon rolls. You could be both. I think that'd be kind of cute. You would smell like a hug.

Okay, what about you? What would you smell like?

You know, if have you ever jostled a tomato plant and not that I remember, haven't gotten the opportunity. Well, yeah, well, the leaves and like the stems on a tomato plant, they smell like the color green. It smells so wonderful and you don't get it when you like pick up a tomato or eat a tomato, it doesn't smell like that. It's the plant itself and you kind of just have to jostle it a little bit and maybe you know, like pinch it, squeeze it.

That's what I want to smell like, is the leaves.

On a tomato plant, or like fresh lilacs when you like take those off of the plant, just hoff it in the spring and like may so.

This would be your scent if you could turn any scent in your own personal colone. Yeah, Like this is what people expect when you walk into the.

Road, because they'll be like, oh, I know Vont's walking in because I can smell blank noir.

It's noir from Bath and body Works. If you want to smell like Vont.

Leak, okay, but think if you could take any scent at all, like in the world and turn it into a cologne.

What I'll tell you right now. Use, I think it's a green tea. It's this. This is very very hyper specific. It's a it's the smell of when you walk into thirty Rockefeller Plaza.

I love that smell and I have you been there?

Yeah, plenty of times. You go see like live tapes in the Jimmy Fallon and stuff. I think it's green tea. And then if you go to Bath and body Works they have like green tea soap or like the little wallflower things.

Yeah, like grass. Green smells like grass, right a little.

I think it's green tea. I think that's what I'm imagining. But yes, it smells just so delightful. Well, now we know that thirty rockfeller, what is it? Thirty thirty rock smells like green tea.

I think that's the smell. But let's just say that's what it is. I don't want I don't want to spend.

Money, and my entire Grandma's house smells like my grandma, which is essentially just baby powder, but it is a nice nostalgic.

That's not nice grandma smell smell because there a certain age I think old people start to smell like old people homes.

Right or they smell like a root cellar kind of, you know, like Grandma's house smells like the root cellar.

No, my grandma's house had the mustiest pleasant smell right then. I have not been into it since I was probably fifteen years old, but I still whenever I smell that smell, it takes me right back to Grandma's house in Jordan, Montana.

Which does kind of smell like a hug.

Someone did say texted in that was the best representation of Colone. I've ever heard you smell like a hug, And that's what I want to smell like.

Well, I want Dave to smell.

Like a hug, because I'll be like, is that cinnamon rolls with a hint of orange smells?

That's what I would smell like. Thank you Bailey. Covering the dirts from Far and Wide Coming up next on KTWB. It's Dave's Dirt on KDWB.

Oh David, Oh my goodness, all over the board.

Not a reboot, but I've just started watching on voch recommendations by other people Hisn't Hern't Hers last night and I was kind of tired, so I wasn't really like, wow, this is so good, but I've heard it's wow, this is so good. Good. So there's a big plot twist at the end, that's what everybody says. So with the big plot, and that is that a spoiler to know there's a plot twist at the end.

No, I don't think so. Because it's a mystery. It's a murder mystery, so you would assume something crazy would happen. But yeah, hisn't Herds.

It's about, uh, there's a murder in a small town with Delonica Georgia, and there's a detective and a journalist and there are strange ex's or something like that, and they're both trying to fight, like, no.

This person didn't know this person did it? Six episodes. I don't think it's too long.

Okay, No, that sounds great, So that is on my watch list. Hers.

This is gonna feel really really off the grid here.

Uh, Dave, do you remember the movie Little Rascals from like the nineties.

I remember it. I never saw it. I was never a fan of Little Rascals. They creeped me out. No, they they creeped me out, Spanky, Yeah, Darla, I fell Alfalfa. They creep me out.

Well, I love that movie.

And the kid who played Alfalfa, his name is bug Haul and actually he's you know, an adult now makes sense, But he's spent posting on Twitter like little glimpses into his off grid life, and his life is really weird, so he kind of went the opposite direction of any kind of like Hollywood fame.

He has a wife, five kids. He has made a.

Vow of poverty, and he posts pictures of them on like Twitter and has them like all in honestly little colonial dresses, all of his little kids, and he's just like.

Oh, here's how we how we roll now. We don't own a computer, we don't own a TV.

I do have a phone, so I can post pictures of my family and our five children, but it is very very colonial look and it's it's very amish.

I don't know where could you go to live off grade the Utah desert, maybe the mountains of Montana.

They don't say exactly, so I have no idea, but I think it's a little bit a little weird. But hey, you know what I feel like the Jenny is one step away from that.

Okay, Yeah, Ariana Grande's talking about back in twenty eighteen when she hear her ponytail and baggy sweats was her thing.

That was actually her trying to hide.

I genuinely at the time did not have the mental energy to consider clothing. So the easiest thing for me was to throw on a sweatshirt and a boot and that was like, that was how it happened.

I missed that era of Ari. She was like in her prime. All her songs were on the radio.

She came, she went to the Golden was it the Golden Globes. Recently she still had that like or she went back to that. Ariana Grande like high pony good. She like knows, you know, this is my look. This is how people want me to show up.

So, I mean, I know everybody grows and evolves, but she's just different.

Now. Okay, Today's National Puzzle Day. Shout out to everybody who does wordle. Maybe you do wordle, I do Wordle, then I do Connections, which was a bit double whatever. Today it totally screwed me over and then strands so National Puzzle Day today. Bruce Willis's wife says, he doesn't know he has dementia, and I think sometimes that's what happens they His wife says, where people think this might be denial, where they don't want to go to the

It's interesting because like you see, it happened to everyday people like all around you, you know, your coworkers, your family and everything, but when it happens to a celebrity, it just seems so like jarring. You're like, oh, woh, wait a second, but you're a celebrity. But they're just people too.

Yeah, it's the same physiology as we have too. Yeah.

So Bridgerton Season four is premiering today. Maybe you stayed up until midnight to see some of the new episodes for season four. Each season focuses on a different like sibling of the Bridgerton family, and this season is Benedict. I'm really excited for this one. It is a Cinderella inspired love story for Benedict. So when you watch it, you might be like, hey, I recognize that, Hey, I recognize that.

That's because it's a Cinderella story. I can't wait.

Prayer's up for ray j A.

A couple of weeks ago, he went to the hospital for severe case pneumonia and some heart pains. Apparently he almost died, and so he's following up. He said, he went to the doctor and there, this is so bad. They're telling him that he might just have a couple of months left to live.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, he said that he's on eight different medications at high risk for heart failure, and one of the medications is like cholesterol medication. So he's even saying like, look, I don't think I'm gonna make it to twenty twenty seven.

Wow.

He seems like in well spirits because he posted a video explaining all of it on his Instagram and he just seemed like he was accepting it.

But I mean he's forty five. That's so young, So I don't know how you take that.

Wow.

Wow.

Okay, So remember I think it was earlier this week or last week that there was a woman who made a doctor Pepper jingle and then she like put it on Instagram or whatever, and then Doctor Pepper got ahold of it and they're actually using her little a cappella jingle it Yeah, play it for me please.

So this is the video she uploaded and then how they changed it.

Okay, the theme song for Doctor Pepper and it goes like this, doctor Pepper.

Bay Bee is good and nice.

Doctor Pepper bay Bee is good.

Hump the Pepper bay bag.

So now people are going, well, me too, I want to do it too. Here is some jingles that people have made trying to duplicate her success.

It ain't so.

If it ain't Coca Co. Mountain dew.

Is fuggy, sweet, loud, fruity rush.

That's my love.

That's a crush.

Okay, wow, I love it, funny, I love it all right. That is the dirt on KD Double Ub