I'm like a big bad boy military guy. I'm like, Oh, wait well, and
back then to therapy was not cool was not cool. Oh, no, various
therapy wasn't cool. I was like, on the edge of getting out. Yeah, exactly.
What am I done? What is this gonna end? That's probably what you're thinking, right? What the heck happened? Yeah. Welcome back to part two of my interview with my coach and mentor, David Winford will continue the story of how he became one of the most prolific and profitable business coaches in the world. Again, as always listen for an action that you can take something you can do, based on what Winford has said, and you'll make what he says a
part of your life. As a reminder, in part two, we will occasionally be addressing the topic of a deeply personal loss of a loved one to cancer. We handle it in a sensitive way. But I just want you to be aware in case, this is something that might be difficult for you to listen to. Also, as you listen to this episode, always, always look for something you can do if you do something this week, as a result of what you've heard from David Winford, you'll make him a
part of your life forever. We now continue with part two of the episode. All right, so let's switch gears from the business coaching for a bit, we'll come back to that. But one of the things that I tried to do with the show is interview people who have balanced success, right? So not just people who are focused on money, and not just people who are focused on career, but people who have fun and have a balanced life and spend time with family and kids. So where in the journey did your kids we
talked about your wife? Where did they come into this story for you?
Well, I have two kids, kids and other young adults. Yeah. So my wife and I decided we were going to build a family. And we started building the family. And as I said to you earlier in the interview, you know, my father wasn't around. And my wife has very stable family. You know, mother, father still married 64
years, or whatever it was, yeah. And her family is from the Ukraine. It's like her family
migrated. Yeah, immigrated from the Ukraine, this 1974. So it was long time ago. So their core was very tight. And it was important for me and my wife, when we were deciding that we're gonna have a family, that we, you know, I was going to be around for my kids and do those kinds of things. And so again, I got lucky, because my wife is, you know, four or five rungs above my ladder. At the time I met her,
you say that? What I mean, you're pretty high up on the ladder yourself?
Well, again, at the time, you know, as as a military guy, just trying to make my way through there. And my wife was already educated lady or he could have picked any guy on the planet. I mean, she's gorgeous, beautiful, smart, all those kinds of things. And I just didn't say no, I wouldn't let her say no to me,
right. So because that's your one of your gifts. I just kept on rolling, positive persistence,
positive persistence, and our leader, she said she had to surrender to me. So that was that. And so, you know, we decided to have kids and when we did that, I it was important for me to, to say I was going to be there. So that led into the fact that I need to balance my life while I enjoy what I was doing. And it just wasn't my whole life. You know, like I'm, I can, proudly and happily say, I coach, both my kids sports all the way through coach football, lacrosse. I
coached them all. I did swimming for a while did the girls lacrosse gonna get a girl and a boy. So I did both sports girls soccer boys soccer. I did it all. Didn't miss a game didn't miss anything. Because those things were important to me. So let me tie this to you. Because I say it a lot to my own clients. I think our first business if you really want to think about it, our first business is our family. Wow, yeah. If your first business is not squared away, then it doesn't matter what other
businesses are going on. You know, and I was fortunate enough. Again, as a young guy coming up, you know, when I started, I was a younger guy. I was 28 years old, 29 years old. So the older guys, my class were older, much older than me. So I would hear these stories. You know, like, I've been working for 25 years, I've had this business for five years, I've been through three divorces, you know, and also I'm thinking, well, dang, how's that success? Why do you think you're
successful? If you're, you know, if your family is not attached, and you're not involved in your family, it's more about the business. That didn't make sense. And so I still say this today, your family is your first business. And so I just approached it that way. And, you know, my wife and I were married for for 31 years, we were together for 34 years. Sadly, I lost my wife your year and a half ago to cancer. So we had battled cancer for the last five
or so years. So she's no longer here with me, but all the way through. It was important for us to go on date night. It was important for us to go on holidays together, just to us. It wasn't you know, and when I'm saying those kinds of things, those are things that were fun for us. As a couple,
right? You both were mutually deciding, which by the way, I just want to insert something as a business coach, and I'm sure you've seen this. Sometimes one person dominates it. Yeah, right. They're like this is what I like to do and so they worth doing? Do it. I think you should have something personal that you'd like for fun. Yeah. But then also something that as a couple you mutually agree on you both want to do and agree with
you? Yeah. So we would do our things, you know, there'll be girl trips that she go and girl trips and had to go and Guy trips, you know, we do those kinds of things. But my wife and I, we collaborated more than we compromised. We were collaborators. Now we learned that beautiful phrase, right? We learned that along the way, right? Because in the beginning of our relationship, you know, you're trying to get you know, you're young, you're trying to figure out all these things
about a relationship. And what you learn is that you don't have to feel like you're losing something, or compromising something. If we can sit down and collaborate on Hey, tell me what's important to you, baby, I want to hear it. Oh, and here, she's asking you about it. And so all sudden, now, you're in this collaboration together, and it feels better. It feels more fun, right? And then, of course, we took our kids everywhere, like you guys, take your kids everywhere. We took our kids
everywhere. My kids are travelers now that, you know, they'll go off and do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it, because they just love to travel. And so they're adventurous that way, too. So that's how, you know, again, we decided to build a family, we did that it was important for us to you know, it's important for me to say, hey, I need to be successful my family before I'm successful with anything else.
Yeah. And I think that's something that there was already that desire and tendency in me, prior to us meeting, because I grew up with some parts of my family was pretty broken. And that was a top priority. But I always your example about that. helped drive that home for me appreciate it. And so I want to ask him specific questions about it.
Because one of the things I learned from you was the structure, especially as a coach, right, developing a structure, one of the principles of the systems that I borrowed from you was the idea of creating a monthly structure to my coaching X, most people think of weekly or daily, like, these are my hours, I'm going to do it this week. But instead, I started saying, I'm going to coach on the second fourth, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday of each month. That was something
that I borrowed from you. So talk to me about how you structured your work month to allow time to have fun and have time for the family.
Yeah, so I I like the idea of the first three weeks being client meetings. Okay, I'm a big believer in, you know, Friday being my MYOB day, on Fridays, Minute on Business
days, right, which to you means
means I just take care of whatever I want to take care of, if I don't need to take care of anything. I go play.
Yeah, Flex is one of those. And I did that with you one time going to the bookstore, right? Just go hang out at the bookstore for a couple hours. Remember
that I used to, I still do it today, I just go to the bookstore. When you find out even I find a funky Obul bookstore, I go to the bookstore and I just randomly go to a different section every time I don't go to the business section, I avoid the business section. Because, again, I've read a lot of the books in the business section. And ultimately, I'll get there sooner or later. But I like to go explore the other things. So I created an idea that says, hey, I'll do these things on a
monthly basis. It's the first three weeks. Ultimately, it turned into first and third. Yeah. Right. And then I would just let if something missed, I let it fill in on the second week. Meaning if a client had to move a meeting or whatever they fill in second week, but I've tried very hard for that fourth week. Nobody moved. We moved in the fourth week. Yeah. And I tried very hard. And it worked for the longest time. I have one client that's been with me for
25 years. He's on a Friday, just because he's special guy because he's 25 years. Right. Right. So I let him do on the Friday, but I let him know every time Hey, bro, you know, you give me give me give me a you know, this is my you know, my you know, business day you really? He goes yeah, no, I know, I greatly appreciate. But his situation a little different. So I let infringe on
that. So I want to clarify, what you're saying is you set up your coaching meetings because you for most of your clients, you're meeting two times per month. Yeah. So you were setting those up to occur on the first and third, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday of the month of the month. And that was creating structure that allowed you to mentally focus on your clients during those weeks. And then what you said occasionally were exceptions.
But on the second week, once you made that change, what were you doing during week two
and the beginning I was cold calling. Okay, there we go. I was driving business. Right? I was trying to get business to pick up business leads and things like that. Now I could just have, I may not have anything to do, right? I mean, I have any kind of clause, right? Or again, somebody will ask me to speak to somebody or something and I booked it in that second week. If I'm gonna go on site, like here, I'm with you. But I'm piggybacking with another client in the area is in
the second week. Right of the month. Yeah, right.
There's so much freedom that comes from that people sometimes look at that and go Oh, it's too structured, but it's actually the opposite. It creates freedom for you to be open to things and and to leave the rest of the time open right like that fourth week. Yeah, I know you can count on it.
Absolutely. I agree with you. People ask me though this Oh, that's very rigid. I said I tell You are the most flexible guy on the planet. Yes. You call me up and you asked me to do something, I will immediately look at my calendar. And I will give you the answer right then and there. How free is that? I love it. Yes. How free is that? Well, and
I've never at any time. I mean, there have been times, we've had both an official coaching relationship and a mentorship and a friend relationship. Never at any time, was there a doubt in my mind that if I needed to talk to you about something important that you wouldn't be there for me that day? Yeah. Even though you had all this structure, and that is the result of that buffer and that schedule that you've created for yourself?
Yeah. Because we created standard with ourselves, I say, Hey, if you're going to ask me to meet with you, you want to meet within that day? Tell me what I'm doing that day. And then give me a couple of times. When you asked me, So what usually say, hey, is there a way I can speak with you today? And you know, if you're open to the time, you'll just say, I'm open? And therefore I'll fill my own cloud calendar, say, hey, will this work for you? Or will this work for you?
That's our language with each other. Right? But that's our system that we've agreed upon with each other. But it's not just with us I do with all my clients. Right? Right. So I tell my clients, hey, listen, you have to move the meeting, don't be a knucklehead and tell me I'm just moving the meeting. And don't give me two dates and times.
Well, and that's the other part of it, too. I'm glad you brought that up, because also part of what we do. And I'm saying we because I got this from you was within the contract itself. And within the agreement that we have with our clients, at least with mine, it was 72 hours, you gotta give me 72 hours notice if you're going to move it or you forfeit it. Yeah. And we're not doing that to be hard on people. We're doing that to help them learn how to take control of their
schedule. Because otherwise, what happens is, what happens to everybody? Oh, something came up, all this thing happened, my employer had an issue, Mike, this customer needed something. I've had things and tell me if this is you've experienced this, where I tell the client, look, you can take care of your customer right now. But if you do, you're gonna forfeit this meeting. And then they go to the customer. And they say, I'm sorry, I have a prior commitment. And what does the
customer say? That's fine. Yeah. And then they scheduled a different time. So I'm assuming that's the same sort of thing. Like you got that structure with them to teach them how to take control of their time. Yeah.
Because again, the toughest thing is no one wants to say no. Mm hmm. Right? Yes. So I just teach them and says, Listen, you have to say no, you have to say, let me check on my calendar. Yeah. And a lot of times I say that time, you're asking me I love to participate, it just doesn't work for me, with this time or this time worked for you. All they want to know is that you're going to work with
it, right? They're okay with not now if they have a clear when exactly.
I think that's exactly what you should, that's the way it is. And then ultimately, that kind of thinking gets back to my ultimate principle that I shared with you earlier, which is I do what I say I'm going to do when I say I'm going to do it. So I find myself to be way more freer. Because I'm able to do those kinds of things when you asked me and again, it just not just to be business, I'll give you a total different kind of
crazy thing. When you were first able to share a calendar, I shared a counter with my wife. Because we have personal things that were going on, right? And my wife would try to would want to schedule things, but then she'd call me or I'd be on the phone, it'd be a little bit. So finally, I was like, Listen, I'm gonna, let's just share calendar, I'm gonna give you access to my calendar. But here's the rule, if it's in red, no moving any other open spot,
do whatever you want to do. So all sudden, I'm sitting there in a meeting and all sudden, I see some pop up on the screen, and I look over in is my wife scheduling a dinner or some, you know, function or something? All right, are you going to pick the kids up? Right? It was empty. Right? So I'm like, Okay, it's empty. She did it. So that was another way for my wife and I to really collaborate on our life, so that we could do the things that we wanted to do that were
important to us. And it wasn't a back and forth or slowdown or whatever. My wife could really be on the phone with somebody who was asking her, Hey, we have tickets to a Bruce Springsteen concert, you know, but we got to fly to Vegas. You know, what do you think my wife would get on the computer and look at my schedule. CSA. Hey, yes, that works or No, it doesn't work.
And part of that reason can look going back to the influence that your family had is because she was your top priority. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And and number one business. Yeah, well, and even more number one, I don't know how you think of it for me. My wife is my number one business. My marriage is my number one business. Yes. My children are my number two is yes. Then business. Yes. No, I agree with you. Right. Because Because that relationship from
my perspective is forever. And without her I would not have accomplished anything. I agree with you. Same way on the same boat. Yeah. And also without her. It's, it doesn't have the same amount of joy because I
know I lost my She does not, it's not the same, you don't get to share the same thing. So it's different. And so, yeah, you do that, because she's important. If she if, again, if it's really important to you, we'll do it. Again, we know that it won't matter about the hurdles. You'll figure out the hurdles, if it's really important to you. But it's easier when you schedule things that is
absolutely well, and this is where the intersection of something that sounds is as cold as the word systems meets up with something that is so powerful like love. Yeah. Right. Because you have and I appreciate, by the way, we talked about this beforehand, you're comfortable with talking
about this. Just so someone's listening, they're gonna go man, you're gonna take this guy who a tough spot and like, well, you know, I know, I know what Freddie can handle it to he gave me permission, you have a unique perspective that not many people have now. Yeah. Right, because of the absence of your wife. So let me put this in a different way. Let's imagine that you hadn't had that structure, that you hadn't had that ability to do those kinds of fun things with her.
I don't know if I would be one of like, my, like, some of my old clients, which were regretting things. Yeah, you know, I should have, you know, maybe one day, I don't want to use those words. They're not good words, for me. They never have been, I'm not a one day, some day. I'm not that kind of guy. I'm like, Hey, do we want to do it? Let's schedule it. My wife, and I would schedule out our whole calendar.
I'm a big rock guy. So I'm gonna put my big rocks in first and my calendar, and my wife and my family, but big rocks. So we'd have two or three big holidays, plan, you know, sort of like
what you're doing. That's another thing that you inspired me, we make vacations with family big times. And so the small times off, when we were talking about how can you give us just an insight for someone who can get a feel of what that relationship was, like with your wife, have the kinds of things that you would just do that are a little spontaneous, that the structure created spontaneity was something that you guys would do together, like,
okay, so, Saturday mornings, my wife would sleep in, okay, but I'm an early riser kind of guy. So I would get up, move around, do whatever I'm gonna do. And then I would read magazine, AAA magazine, or East Bay magazine, or whatever it is. I'm reading the magazine, and it says, Hey, there's these waterfalls, and Eastern, eastern California, you know, on the other side of the acidity, that, you know, is wonderful, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, I'd go in there to my wife and say, Hey, are you getting up? You want to make your breakfast? She'd say, Yes, I'm coming in and make breakfast and she's making breakfast say, Hey, do we have plans today? And she say, No. What do you want to do? I said, Well, I read this article, what do you think? So she'd read the article, she says, Hey, that sounds like fun. That day, that moment.
Off we go. But so beautiful. I
love that sometimes, you know, we take the kids who when they were younger, we just take the kids was and it wouldn't be a you know, rafting down river. My wife was like, we're gonna go rafting down the river. So yeah, this magazine said, we go right down the river. Let's go wine tasting. My wife loved wine. So I found an article that listed the oldest wineries in Northern California. I think there's like eight of them. And so for one weekend, we went to all eight of them. That
was our weekend. Okay.
And so is that a good example? That's a beautiful example. And also what I love about it, too, is there's an element of putting your spouse first and that, right, because, and I'm sure she did the same with you. I know. She did some crazy things that she would never have done, you'd want to do. But the idea of saying, Hey, I recognize this is something my wife loves. I'm gonna make it a priority to do this trip with her to give her the experience of something she loves. Yeah,
it made it fun for her. Yeah, it made me I was fun for me, because I'm still going to go do with her. But it was crazy, though, was that we go up there. And of course, we do the wine thing. And then all sudden, I say, you know, do we want to drive home or you want to get Hotel? That's keeping the love in the house?
Yes, right. Yes. Is when
my kids were older, we could call home and say, Hey, listen, we're gonna stay the night somewhere, go to your grandma's house, or, Hey, we call the neighbors already. We're not gonna be there. You know, they're 1617 years old. So it was like, you know, call the neighbors till now. Right? So you're gonna be by yourself? No, no parties at the house, right? And we would stay at night. And then we go out, do the and we do
that way. Or, because of my flexibility in my account, my schedule where I could have, do my calls wherever I was at. Sometimes I'd get my wife to say, hey, let's take off Tuesday, Wednesday, and play hooky. So she would take off on a Tuesday and Wednesday. And we would go up to where we were going and there was no crowds. We didn't have new and weekend stuff. Yes, that's the best because we had that flexible Got a schedule where we could do that. And her job? She could do
that kind of thing, too. We could do it all the time, because you know, she had take PTO for it. Right. She she worked. She worked for the State of California.
Okay. Yeah. So she had a little more structure than the guy like you.
She had a lot more structure. So she ended up but I would say, or she would, you know, part of her job was to go and review some business partner, whatever it may be some event thing, whatever. And she say, you know, you want to come with me, as of course. And so I go to San Diego, I go wherever you want me to go. So we kept that kind of spontaneity in our
in our relationship. And we had it from the very beginning, because when we first started courting, I said to you earlier that I was in San Diego, she was in San Francisco. And then ultimately, I was in Panama City. I was in Newport, Rhode Island. And I would say to her, Hey, I'm going to be in Denver at this weekend, and I want to be off, you want to meet me in Denver? This is before we're married. Sure. Okay, so we're just courting, and she would like you want me to meet you in
Denver. So yeah, you meet me in Denver, if you want to meet me in Denver. So we had that opportunity where we did that's kind of so it was in our relationship was like in our DNA. And then we just kept doing it all the way through.
And you continued, again, I'm gonna go back to that phrase that you use, which is you collaborated more than you compromise? Yes.
A lot more. I collaborate a lot more than I compromise. Yeah.
It says a lot about the nature of the relationship. It also says a lot of the maturity of you, too.
We grew that. I mean, that wasn't something that happened from the very beginning. You know, it's a relationship, and you're working through these kinds of things. You know, it'd be very beginning. Can you imagine, you I've never lived with a woman and my wife never live with a man. So my wife is a free bird. And here's a structured military guy can walk in the door, so I
can walk in the door. My wife has this habit, and she still had to have it till the day she died of drinking, just have a cup of coffee, and leave with the cup of coffee.
This sounds like what I how I torture my wife and a half cup. cups of water everywhere
we go, it's driving me crazy, right? Sometimes, you know, and I'm sure I had just going crazy. So when we just were having a struggle time communicate with each other. So my wife comes home one day and says, Hey, let's go see a therapist. Okay, right now, yeah, I'm like, you know, we're married less than a year. Right at the time come see a therapist. And I'm like a big bad boy military guy. I'm like,
Oh, wait. Well, and back then to therapy was not cool. was not cool. Oh, no. marriage
therapy wasn't cool. I was like, on the edge of getting out. Yeah, exactly.
What have I done? What is this going to add? That's probably what you're thinking, What
the heck happened? Yeah. So we go to the therapist there perceives us out does they she's she was so cool. She just, Oh, you just guys has to have a way of communicating having a we have a timeout. And we're like, what they go yeah, just have to have a symbol, create a symbol. So my wife and I created peace sign. Two. Okay. So what that meant was that if I felt like I was being attacked, or something, you know, my wife wasn't here, me and I needed space. I just hold up number
two, right? And she would back up, and we'd move in a different place. And then we come back, and then we start to collaborate, right? Or she held it the two I did the same thing. Well, I want you to know, it happened to me first, where she held the two up first. It was the very first time it ever happened in our home where she did it first. And and when she did it, I was like, What are you talking about? I'm just talking to you. And she's like, No, you're yelling at me you upset?
No, I'm not yelling, but I'm yelling, right? But it's just my voice of excited voice of getting up, right? She knows that too. And she goes, you know, the rules. I'm like, Ah, so we separated, right? And then when we separately, we can play together. And we started laughing about it. Because what I realized was that, again, I'm trying to communicate. But the only way I know how to communicate sometimes is to be loud. And my wife just didn't
hear it that way. She couldn't hear that that was screaming at her. Right, right. And then when my wife was ignoring me, or didn't want to not ignore me, but when she was not, didn't want to answer because she was processing whatever she was processing, you're driving me crazy. You know, she would have to give me the to like, Hey, I'm processing. Right? So we learned those kinds of things early in our relationship. And then we just got stronger and better at
them as we grew together. And that's why I say to you, I definitely know that I collaborated way more than I ever
and you're both working together. Yes. Both helping each other. Yeah. So
that's love, right? You love each other. Sometimes, you know, again, your relationship. I've been together for 31 years. It wasn't roses the whole way. Trust me, you know, their life has happened and things are going on. And you're working through those things together. But,
but that's the key that you're working through together and you both have confidence in each other that you both love each other and love with each other and say, Okay, I'm working because I love you. I'm gonna put in the effort because I want this to get stronger and better. And that's, that says a lot about both of you that you were doing that
in this one. Because I it's important because I coach a lot of men And, you know, again, at this stage of my career, they'll ask me, the younger guys will ask me, Well, hey, how does it work? Or how, you know, how do you do it? And I say, Listen, you gotta laugh. You got to find ways to laugh, have fun with each other, especially when we're talking about here. And then I say, I write cards. I would write my wife cards. And I would bring
home flowers. Every week. My wife loves lilies, right, and irises, so not every year. Tulips and lilies is what she likes. And irises would be the third flower, but she wouldn't always have tools, because it's time of year. But I would always bring flowers to the house. And I'll share this personal thing with you they. My wife saved every card.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah. So it's crazy. Crazy. For after she passes you. You pull the box, and it's every card, you have a rotor.
Crazy. Oh, my goodness. Did you not know that until
she was saving them? I mean, I thought she saved about it. No, she saved every one of them from the very beginning. Excuse me. So that's just trippy.
How beautiful that she did that. But also how beautiful that you did that? Yeah, that she had that she was able to save that. Yeah, we've now seen it a couple of times in the story. There's an awareness on your part of what your partner needs and wants. And you were giving those to her? And this gets to the you know, I think a question. A lot of people have asked you recently. And so I hope it's not annoying
question. But I think it's important for people who are listening to this because you have a perspective that unfortunately, many don't get until it's too late. Yeah. So when if you were to talk to someone who is, you know, they're at the start of their relationship with their thinking about building relationship. And you know, now, what you didn't know, prior to her passing? What would you say to someone who wants to have the kind of success that you two had in your marriage?
I would say, get comfortable with the idea of collaborating, right? Don't think you gotta give something up, collaborate together, I think that'd be the first thing that you'd have to think about. And the second, another thing I would tell people to think about is, it is those little things that you you'll miss, you know, I miss hold my wife's hand. And miss when she put her head hand on my head, I miss when she
called out my name. So I would tell people to cherish those things, and don't sweat the small stuff. You know, we always sweat the small stuff. Like what? You know, do we have enough money for this or not money for that? Question we're going to do you really need that? You know, you know, I mean, is it really important to you, you grow in a family, you
got kids? And you know, does it really matter if little Johnny's going to a school versus these cool things, little things like you, you that you seem to be that that you think are big, rather trivial, and they end up in the game. And so that's what that's what I would say to people's stop using the word compromise as much in relationship as, as in US collaboration. So every time you want to use the word, compromise, ask yourself, can I
use collaboration here? So that you consciously say, Okay, I'm not going to compromise. I'm going to collaborate?
Well, compromise is what you do when you negotiate with a hostile party. Yeah, right. collaborates. What you do with your friend.
Yeah, so figure it out. So it's all those little things like I miss my wife voice, you know, I think things like that. Yeah. Really, you know, a personal.
Thank you so much for Yeah, sharing that I know, that's very difficult for you, brother. And thank you for now appreciate being candid with it.
I think it's important because again, I as I shared with him, I wanted to share that one moment because I get to speak with men a lot. And even women who have I have several women clients, and we get locked in on something we forget what's important to us. Right? We think the business is
the most important thing. And to a degree, it's very important because it's allowing you to do all the other things that you want to do to have fun and travel the world or whatever it is you want to do, but send your kids to school or whatever. You know, buy curtains for your
house or whatever it is. But I think the tough part about that is that if you don't make your family the number one thing that all the rest is doesn't really matter at the end of the day, you know, you know, I've shared with you on different occasions, since my wife passed. What I missed the most is that you know, sharing my life with someone.
Yeah. So much better to do these things when you have someone else doing it with you.
Yeah, that you laugh. So, share, share away. So that got me choked up over here.
So she I'm sorry, it was not my goal to cry. But I know that people listening to this are going to be very touched. And hopefully more importantly, they make some structural changes in their life, to really make room for what matters, whether it's your partner, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your child, but it's those relationships that are the number one business. And you want to ask yourself, How do I structure my life to make them the top priority? Everything else feels in a routed,
I'm not asking him. Now if I could have made more money, I'm asking you could I've done more with my wife, I could have gone some different places where she would have done it. And my wife and I had a full life. Trust me. We had a beautiful, wonderful eye. We went all over the world together. Did all kinds of crazy stuff. funky stuff that was just telling you about? Yeah. It's that's the part I'm saying, Hey, I'd what I'd want to do more of that. Yeah, that's the part I miss.
Okay, so now I'm gonna play devil's advocate with what you said. Just a little bit. Yes, I recognize that you say, I'm not going to make more money. But I think there's a principle in here that I learned. And maybe I learned from you or we've learned it together. Was the value of your value per hour? Yes. Yes. Right. Because a lot of people think this is how much money I make in a year. That's the wrong
perspective. It's not about how many Mike you make in the year, because if you're working 80 100 hours a week, what good is that? All that pile of money that yeah, what really matters is what you're making per hour? Can you share a little bit about what you did to maximize your value per hour so that when you work? That one hour is worth, honestly, what $1,000 or more?
Yeah, again, first of all, I know your value. Right? Know what your worth is. And so it'd be a comfortable saying, Here's my worth, right? I think, as I said to you earlier, you know, so there's times when I say to guys, hey, listen, man, whatever, you're paying me the end of the year, if I don't make it four times, return, I work for free. Right now I know I'm gonna make four times a return in no problem. No time, right? They don't. Right? They think, Oh, dang, this guy
is crazy. Right? You know,
do you have enough experience to know the value is going to be there, the value
is gonna be there. I'm gonna bring the value. But I think that they'll too, Dave, is to your point there. I think what you're trying to make there. It's really to shift your thinking from an hourly rate. Right? To again, what's important you what the value that you want to bring to it. Yeah. And how much does that? Do you really need? You know, I love to say to guys, hey, listen, I don't need to work 40 hours to make what I make. I can do it in 10.
Right. But okay, so what I'm saying to be clear, is because you can do it in 10. Yeah, that means that 10 is worth four times what it would have been if you did it for it. Yeah, absolutely. So that's what I'm saying is, is you created a structure where that value per hour, so high, so that it gave you the freedom to do those things with your wife, to have that kind of flexibility, because you chose a career. First of all, that gave you that ability to raise that value very
high. And then second of all, you built the structure, you built the systems, the process for your business, so that you maintained it and built it year after year. Yeah. And that gave you all that freedom. Yeah. And again,
we're all looking for freedom, right? We are, I mean, entrepreneur, guys are looking for freedom. But even the guy who's working is the w two guys, they want freedom. And they can have freedom, they just have to shift their thinking around whatever they're doing. They can't, you know, hey, I might not be able to have a RV. And in five trucks, right? You have to be a little bit more smart about what you're doing with it. But we all have to make
choices. Even rich guy like you have to make a choice, right? You know, do I get this? Or do I get that?
The answer to that is what's gonna give me more life? Absolutely.
Absolutely. That's where I was going with that. That's often what you're asking, you know, how do I get more life? What is more life mean to me? And Am I serious about that, then if I'm serious about that, then I'll go do what I need to do to make that happen. Right. Yeah. So you know, there's my point.
Well, actually, I think this is a good point. We, in our conversation earlier today, when we were at the game, a phrase came up that I had forgotten from the came from the E Myth, which is the primary aim Oh, primary. So the primary aim for those who are not familiar is basically like a summary of like who I am, right? So what's your primary aim?
Well, my primary aim is to live deeply and have bounced between my head and heart and harmony with nature. So that can be the best man or pasta can be. So that's it. It's about
how long have you used that as a guiding statement
in your life? 2028 years?
And has it evolved over time?
Yes, it has evolved. And the beginning when I first did it, you know, it was an exercise because I had to do it through Michaels business, right. It's where I learned that thing was very generic. But then what happened was, I got to do it with people. And the more I got to do it with people, and the more I exercise that muscle, the more I realized that I was cheating myself if I wasn't being true to myself about what I wanted to be
because you saw the value of it in their life. I saw
the value of and how they were using in their life. And so to live have deeply to be alive deeply. It's like, you're aware of what's going on around you at all times. Again, as I said, bounced between my head and heart, I get out of balance sometimes. And then I'm a guy who I know when I'm, I feel a little twisted i It's because I'm not going out enough. I'm not out in nature enough. I'm a nature guy. I
gotta have it. Yeah, that was part of your statement. Yeah. So I've got a habit. So I
put it in there. And then ultimately, the result I'm trying to be as the best man I possibly can be. So that's why if I'm doing all those things, I'm ultimately going to be the best man I possibly can be. So that is my aim. And now I use it to make decisions. Just like I asked my clients, you know, how are we gonna use this to make decisions, because we might be making a decision, that's not going to be congruent with our
aim. And what we find out is that as you go through that, and it's not congruent with your aim, you start to get frustrated, and you start to feel, you know, taken advantage of, or you start to feel like, this is not the place I want to be, right. But if you're always living within your values, and always living within your principles, which not always easy, because everybody's trying out from the outside and trying to pull you away from your
values and principles, right? I mean, that's just the way the world works. Right? Someone's always trying to drag you away from those somehow, someway. Right. So that's how I use the aim and as high as my clients to use the aim. And then to realize that you go back, it's a breathing, living, breathing thing. So it's just not static. I appreciate you asked me, you know, does it evolve? You know, my wife passed. And so I'm trying to figure out who I am and where I'm going from this
place. And I caught myself going back to this primary, I caught myself going back a while, you know, who am I? Well, you know, a man who wants to be deeply alive. Even though right now, it doesn't seem like I'm gonna achieve that just yet. Right? You know, because of the things that happened to me recently in my life, my wife gone, you know, having to shift things around.
But what I've discovered is that I keep pushing that I keep moving myself towards being deeply live and balanced between my head and heart and harmony with nature. Right? Also, now, you know, I'm out walking three times a day. Right now, I'm going out and saying, you know, I'm gonna go camping. I'm just gonna camp by myself. You know? Love it. Yeah. So those kinds of things. So that's how I'm using it.
Well, I would just say, from an outside perspective, someone who's known you for many years, yeah. I think are pretty darn effective at that. Oh, thank you for being deeply alive. Appreciate that. And just for one insight, yeah. Someone who doesn't have the privilege, first of all, just the act of coming here and spending the weekend with my family. Yeah. Right. And it comes 100% from the place of love. Yeah. And because we all sense that everybody wants you to be No, appreciate that. And
that's nice. And then we went to dinner tonight, and we're leaving the restaurant. And you're, you have to say, thank you so much. We're gonna Polynesian restaurant and you're saying, you know, thank you, and delicious. You're letting everybody know, that's always been who you are. Gosh, I remember going to Jamba Juice with you in San Francisco. And you're like, are you having a Jamba day? Like, that's just who you are. You live that every day. And you know, I don't call
it the primary aim these days. I think of it as victory terms of victory. Yeah. And that what that means is that I succeed today. I've got there's mine right there on the wall.
Yeah. Yeah, change one person's life today. Yeah, get you.
That's it. If I do that, if I do that, then it was a good day.
It's been called many things. It doesn't get stuck on what its primary aim or vision, quest or mission, statement, state, whatever, whatever it is your life purpose, whatever those things are. I think, again, you have to think strategically about who you want to be. And then at the end of the day, you want the people around you to be able to say, my father lived deeply. He
was deeply alive. So I want my kids say, I think that's the key, you know, you want it because at the end of the day, when it's all over with, you know, you don't get to take anything with you. I can promise you that. And you're just going to have memories. Hopefully, they're beautiful, wonderful memories. Maybe there'll be some, you know, memories that you sad ones, but you know, hopefully most of them are beautiful moments that you'd like you experienced life together with. Because you were
living that way. You were always trying to be alive. For me, that's just I'm talking about for myself. Yeah. It's like me, you know, waking up on a Saturday morning and reading the paper a magazine. That's just me saying, Hey, I just want to go do something fun with my wife. Let's go see what it is. You know, I can also tell you this goofy story early in our relationship. I was still in the military. And the gentleman we called squirrel secret squirrel. Asked me to pick him up at the
airport on a Sunday. Now this is before cell phones. Okay? Okay. So on that Sunday, my wife and I woke up and she says to me, let's just stay home, lock the door and not do anything. All sudden. 630 At night, the phone rings, right and I I don't pick it up the first time. I let it just ring and it rings and rings and rings and rings. And then it stops ringing. And then a few minutes later is ringing again. Right? And so I decide to pick
the phone up. So I picked the phone up and squirrel goes, Hey, Winnie, how are you doing? I said, Screw I'm doing okay. He says, Are you supposed to be doing anything today? I'm here with my wife and join us lazy Sunday with my wife. What's what's going on you? He says, You were supposed to pick me up at the airport. I'm like, what? Oh, man, hold on a second playing the airport squirrels secret squirrel is she goes, Oh my God, we forgot about secret squirrel. I run all over there.
Pretty much. And of course I bring it in my house is gonna stay at my house. And so it's a funny story. Because yeah, there's a day that her and I were just going to do nothing. We didn't have kids at the time. Well, here he is. Right. So I'll just say
yeah. Well, and also then, for someone who's deeply alive, then there's, I have to share this one. You told me about this when you went to Morocco. Can you tell everybody about that unique experience? Yeah,
so my wife and like 18 Other people decide we're gonna go to Morocco. Okay, and we're gonna spend a month in Morocco. Wow, you guys gonna take a bus and we got our own private bus. And when we got our private guys, and we're just going all over Morocco. Well, we're in Casa Blanca. And I say to the guide, hey, I know you're better one. And he's like, Yeah, and I was like, Can I go hang out with your family? is are they still looking the desert? And he's like, Yeah, you wanna
hang out my family? Yeah. I said, So when everybody goes to Marrakech, can I go hang out with your family? Now mind you, My wife thinks I'm crazy, right? My wife was like,
What is this? She hasn't figured it out? By this point. Yeah. But if
there was only two people on the bus that knew me and my wife and the rest of us, like, knew people that we know, right? So the rest of the day like going, what's this guy trying to do go to this does. So I convinced him to allow me to go with his family into the desert for three days. And I'm working their goats. Right? They're moving the goats from one place to the next place, right? And I'm living with these guys for three days. And, you know, we could barely speak
English to each other. There was broke broken language kind of thing. But what's cool was that the guides brother, who was out there could speak really better English than everybody else. So he was able to translate. So he was my translator. But yeah, it was out in the middle of Moroccan Sahara desert for three nights, three days and three nights.
Taking care of the goats feeding the goats, the goats
walking the goats wherever, wherever the his father sent me out to look for firewood. When Sahara Desert, he says, tell him to go get wood. Right. So so the younger looking
around, I'm like when the Sahara Desert, right? He says,
Go get wood. I'm thinking, What the heck is this guy crazy. So soon enough, you know, you're walking over the dunes. And next thing you know, there's this branch sticking out of the dunes. Right? You reach over and grab the branch and I'll send us a tree. Right is dead tree. But it's an old dead tree that's covered by the stand because it's in the sand doesn't stay in one place. It moves all over the place. Right? So yeah, that's the story that you're talking about.
And that's just one of many, where you just do the thing that that maybe people think they want to do or maybe they watch a show on TV and they see someone do these adventurous things. You just do them. And that's another example of you living that deeply life. But here's the question. I've asked you this before. I'm curious what your answer is now. Are you afraid of anything?
Uh, probably afraid of drowning.
That's, that's surprising from
I don't think I want to drown. I've seen guys drown. Okay, and I've, you know, I've seen the headers
of someone who like, yeah, water. Yeah, yours. Yeah.
Because again, I know what it does, right. And so I would say to you, because I'm trying to be as honest as I possibly can with it. Because I could say for as long as I said, no, nothing scary. Yeah, that's what I heard. Yeah. But now that I'm older, and I'm much more secure about who I am with everything, I'd say, Yeah, I wouldn't want to I would not want to drown.
But people and situations and new cultures that doesn't scare you at all, does it know you you'll just throw yourself into that whether it's working in Morocco or trying a crazy food restaurant that no one in their right mind would try on the first time you did. I'm
gonna Morocco eaten bulls balls. Okay, so the guy comes down. It's a delicacy right there. Sure. It sure is. I'm not trying to mess around with it. So there I am at the thing and they're all laughing You know, is anybody gonna be bull balls? And I'm thinking, Are they for real? I didn't know I wasn't. It didn't look at the menu and I wasn't talking to the guy at the time. Or to the
waiter at that time. So all sudden, you know, they're all laughing about it and then the guy comes the waiter comes around me and I said is Are you seriously is that he goes, Oh, yeah, so delicacy for us here. If you'd like it, we'll make it for you. And I said, is anybody else getting it? He says nobody else has gotten here. I said, Well load me up. So he brings him out there. And so of course,
you know, right. But that's one of many different Yeah,
you know, I mean, I've done, I've done I love to do I love to do things that I learned a long time ago that I think sort of your principle to in you, I think you said it earlier. Give, give first Yeah, so I've learned to give. So I learned when I've gone to places, like, like Africa, you know, I've been to Africa. I've been to Somalia. I've been to Madagascar. I've been to Kenya. And I would always try to find
out what the locals needed. So we're going to Kenya and I call the embassy in San Francisco called the embassy, the Kenyan embassy, and I say, Hey, I'm gonna be going, I'm going to be in Kenya. If you were to bring something back home to your family, what would you bring in the woman's had socks?
Wow. But again, I just want to highlight this. You're the kind of person first of all, that's aware of that. Say, I'm not just gonna go be a tourist. Yeah. Second of all, you called the embassy. Yeah, no one does that. They should Mr. fun a lot, but it's great. I love it. I love that you do that.
Yeah. So she told me three socks. So I bought socks. Dude. I'm telling you. I bought Nike socks. Oh, it's Lucius. Okay. And of course, like I'm wearing right now. I know what I don't know. But he said, Yeah, I'm wearing the quarters. And what I realized, and she had said this to me, she says when you get there, they have no socks. They're all wearing sandals, or they're wearing shoes that they slip their feet into. And they just don't get the experience socks really expensive to buy socks
for them for people. So I go over there, and I have a bag, like a duffel bag of socks. Right? And my wife thinks I'm crazy, right? She's like, What do I have this duffel bag over my shoulders. And I'm walking through the streets of Mombasa in Kenya. And young man comes up to me and he says he speaks pretty good English. He says, Would you like me to take you on a tour? I said, what's it going to cost me? And the funny thing over there, they don't know the
difference of dollars. So they just say, Oh, it's gonna cost you $1 They don't understand the concept of it. All right. They just want some money to work and show me around. I say to him, listen. I'm not gonna give you $1 I'm gonna give you a pair of socks. You thought I given this guy the world, huh? He says really? An unzip and open it up like this. I said, Pick your pair. He reaches in and grabs a pair. I zip it back up. And he's with me for the rest of the day.
Oh my goodness. Right.
We went everywhere. He takes us he's taking some back corner. Whatever. My wife's like, I don't like this. I said Relax, guys. Okay, he's got it sucks. She goes, No, he now knows you have.
Yeah, yeah. You're carrying the bag. You got the bag
on the side? Because we could take a little payday. Yeah. It'll be it'll be okay. Yeah.
See right there. Yeah. Oh, I want to pause on that. Because I think every reasonable rational person would have the reaction that your wife would have. Yeah, you're like, Nah, Relax, baby. Yeah. Because I can take care of myself. Well, I'm That's true. That's a you know, you get yourself back into a corner. You got some? Yeah.
But I want you to know that whole day I gave socks away. I did not buy one thing with $1. Everything was bought with socks. Right. I love it. That's crazy. So yeah, that's just one story. I'll tell you another story that my buddy, we're going to Fiji, we're going to do a dive boat. So I land in Fiji. And I forget the name of the main town, the main city there, whatever it is. And I come off the airplane and I'm talking to these guys, the given
us a ride, whatever. And I say hey, man, what are these guys out here on this island need? And the guy says to me, says pigs as a pig. He goes, Yeah, a pig. So you're telling me if I buy a pig and give it to the chief? That's a good thing. Because they have chiefs there. Right? And they have medicine, because ultimate was trying to find a medicine man. So I was going right? Although I was trying to find a medicine man. And so I say to him, You tell him I just gotta buy pig.
Because yeah. So I go to this market. Right now my buddy is with his wife. He thinks I'm crazy. He's going, where are you going to sell to one of the market my pig. So I go to this market. Right? This guy takes me this market, and I buy a pig. But I bring this pig to this boat. All right, and I'm determined to get this pig on this boat.
I'm just visually using this like, is this a big pig?
Again, it's in a cage like you know it's probably 25 pound pig. It wasn't a full grown pig. But I don't wanna say it's a pig but it wasn't a little bitty baby. Okay, it was like a middle, you know, like a adolescent. But it's in a cage right? And it They bring it, you know, got to come to the pier, and everybody that's going to be on that boat and I only know three people are going to be on that boat. Everybody else is sitting there seeing this dude, try to bring this peg on this
boat. Well, everybody's going crazy, right? And all sudden the captain of the boat comes out. And he says, What are you doing? He says, We can't have a pig on the on the ship on the boat. And I said, Listen, we're gonna start pulling these islands, right? And he says, Yeah, I said, I want to give it one of these chests on the pig because they said these new pigs. He says, No one's gonna let us on an island. We don't get to go on the island. He says we get more next to the island and dive
around the island. But we can't get on the island. They don't let any Caucasians on the island, right? It's what he called it. And I was like, really? And so the guy who showed me where to go get the pig is hearing this whole story. And so he finally says to me, he says, Hey, I have a cousin that has a boat that will bring your pig to this island. Right? Okay, so I say to the Captain, are we going to this island? He goes, Well, we're gonna dive near the
island. But when I go into the island, I said, Okay, that's fine enough to me. I'm gonna go give this guy a pig. And then that's just that. So I asked the guy, Hey, I'll give you money. Make sure this pig gets there. So this guy takes this pig to this island. Five days later, we're near this island. A boat comes out. An island boat comes out. Oh, good news, Ryan. Like, right, like, Polynesian guys, you know, rowing, rowing. And they come to the side of the
boat. And they say our chief would like to invite all of you to the island.
And then you went to the island and you said I
went to the island you know, with the with the chief to the chief threw a party roasted the pig that he had on the island for us. And we're on the captain that boat could not believe that we got on that island. He's like, I cannot believe he says I'm asking all the time. Well, you got to bring a pig. Everyone smile, bro. You gotta bring a pig. And I want you to know everybody else that was on that boat. It was give me
a hard time. When we get to that island, and they saw all it was the best thing thing they ever did. That was the best. That was the number one thing happened on that trip?
Yes, we did some cool die maybe in their life for some of those people.
Right. Right. Drink kava with them. We had a great time we can sing and dance and all this stuff. Right? And, and because this guy got to pay somebody gave. Somebody gave. So yeah,
exactly the gift. The gift is what created that gift is what?
That's where I was going to wow. Right? It's the gift not to think about, you know, all the silly stuff that you know, yeah, I want to go to the island. So yeah, you got to pay the guy some money. He doesn't need the money for you to go to his island. He lives on an island. He needs a pig.
Yeah. And also, I mean, what a story, it makes this point. But the other point is, too, and it kind of goes back to what you're doing with your wife. Right? It's the awareness of what they want. You're giving the gift of what they want. Yeah, sure. Right. Because you're asking that question. You have that awareness? To put it in terms of I mean, I know that's not always what happens with you. But in those cases, that's what it was.
Well, again, the idea is I learned a long time ago is to give Yeah, right. Don't be a taker. Right. And again, I was also trying to say medicine, man. But that's what I learned from a medicine man was that come with gifts? Don't be the guy who comes in and just trying to take what you take something from me take my knowledge or take whatever coming brings up. And so again, you know, how do you be inclusive? How do you give, you know, you gotta give something before you can get something?
And I believe in that. I don't know. I don't know if I don't think I say it as cleanly as you do. And I, I don't know, if I practice it like that. I just practice it accidentally kind of thing. Well,
I don't think it's I don't think it's maybe as thoughtful. Yeah. But it's not accident. Yeah, it's because of that primary aim you have, which is to live deeply. Yeah, right. Yeah. And you use interpreting that the way that you do that. You create situations like this, you create these wonderful stories and moments that I think a lot of people miss out. Yeah. As you're telling me stories, I try to think of things that I've
done. And I think that I'm being adventurous, and maybe I'm borrowing a little bit of your adventure, but it's not anywhere close to Dave Winfrey. It's not the same.
I tell you, I'll tell you this last story just because it's about my wife. Okay. Give me a chance to tell yes, please. So we're on a Greek island and I want to say we're like on Mykonos or something. And we leave the hotel and we start walking. And as we walk in, we're looking for a place to eat. And as I'm walking up this hill, I see this beautiful home with like these tables outside, they're made up like, like for sitting like people were you
know, made up for dinner. Okay. So I said my wife, although this is a nice restaurant, let's go on in here and she was just not a restaurant as a kid. maybe look at that. There's like 12 tables there. 12 tables, flowers on the plates and silverware and cloth and see crazy as a frickin restaurant on the side of this mountain here, right? So I, so she pauses for a second. And I walked through the door. And as I walked through the door is
beautiful Greek woman. And she says, in her broken English, may I help you? When I say of course, yes. I said, Table for two. She says, oh, no, you've made a mistake. This is not a restaurant. This is my home. And we're going to have dinner with my family here. And I'm like, going, Oh, I'm so sorry. i It was so beautiful. I'm telling you all this stuff. And she looks at me. She says, Is it just you and your wife? And I say yes. And she says, Come have dinner with us.
Wow.
We had dinner. We had food, dancing, singing? I mean, what a wonderful time from a knucklehead who just walks through the door and experiment?
Well, and let's use this to tie thing. Yeah, of course to bring it back. Yeah. To a kid in Texas. Yeah. whose family had never been to college? No. Who wanted to be a lobbyist? Yeah,
yeah. Yeah. Poor? didn't know anything.
What a story. What a what a remarkable life you're living. Yeah. You know, normally I like to ask people at the end of this, where do you see things going? But I know right? Now you're figuring that out? Right? You're figuring out what the next stage is for you. So maybe you don't, I don't have it
fully figured out right? Now I know, I'm going to be alive. I know, I want to be always alive. That part is going to be there. My primary aim is going to be there. Yeah, so I don't know where we're the next stage. What that means to me. You know, because I just spent a big portion of my life, building a life that was going to be built with my wife and I. So we will be doing other things, continue to do the things we're doing. But we just be doing it together. And so I have to
figure that out. So I don't have an answer that's clean. But maybe other people might have an answer that's cleaner than that. I know, there's love out there.
Yeah. Well, and I know that whatever you do, it's going to be remarkable, because it always is, I'll try
to make it as fun right. But to bring it back to your point, we'll try to make it as fun as we possibly can. Yeah, that's what we're here to do. Right, have fun and, and live life and be a deeply alive. And while you might have some regrets about certain things, you know, hopefully they're just few and far between, you know, it's more about you live,
largely, you are alive. And I'm really feeling that it's important for me to make sure that my kids now, again, who are young adults, they don't have their mother anymore. So I have to have to be that kind of example. So they see it down the road. So that's that. I don't want anyone to cry moment, but that's what it is. So so it's
beautiful. It's a beautiful moment. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is because I know the impact that you have in their life. And you know, maybe they're gonna start their family soon, and you're gonna have the impact in those families. Yeah. So I know, whatever it is, that you do. You're gonna change a lot of people's lives and make loads of people's lives richer. And
hopefully, we have a beautiful impact. That's all we can do to each other. Right? Yeah. Just like you got a beautiful impact on me. So I greatly appreciate this that you allow me, you know, you asked me you invited me to do this. It's kind of yeah, we've had a long relationship. I keep teasing all the time. You know, the two dudes on a rock man. Yeah, yeah. So that's
I didn't mention that story that was just, you know, us hanging out in San Francisco. What, 25 years ago, sitting on rocks after going to Borders Bookstore in a mind your own business day. Yeah. And then say, hey, what do you want to? Yeah, what are we gonna do in the future?
Yeah, what are you gonna pay man?
Look at what we are. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this gift of your story and your wisdom with everyone. Welcome. So I mentioned this before, this is what I do in every episode, I want to pull out a few actions. Okay. All right. Because everyone listening to this, it's not just about the story that you've heard, which truly is inspiring, and you're going to learn a lot, you're going to remember this, hopefully,
forever. But let's talk about something that you can do one specific step or action that you can take as a result of what you heard from my friend, David Winford. So gosh, how am I going to pull out three in an interview like this, but I'm going to try to do my best I'm gonna pick three that stand out to me, these aren't the only ones. Yeah. And then if you'd like to add one or two, at the end of that, we're looking for granular action steps that someone can do immediately.
Yeah. So gosh, the first one is take the time to identify your core values, your primary aim, your terms of victory, whatever you want to call it, write something down, sit down and think about it. And you don't have to get it right the first time. I think that's really important. Like there is no right or wrong game. Right. Cheers. It's just the next draft. Yes, it's just the next draft. So simply create a first
draft of it. And use that kind of think about over the next couple of weeks and say how can I use this to guide my decisions? Dave, use the that principle of living deeply to guide his decision, so I think that that's a great one. So the next one I would say is structure your time in a way that creates opportunities to spend time on what's most valuable. So if that's a relationship, that's your family, make that your first business and say, How am I going
to carve out time for this? And I know sometimes people are listening to this, and maybe it's tough. Maybe they've got to work a couple of jobs right now. But you can start by scheduling what's most valuable? What's most important in your life first, and then structure everything around it? And even if you can only spend a half an hour a day on that thing? Start with that, yeah. and structure your life to make that happen. And then third one is, give a gift. Man, we heard that a few
times. Right? The gentleman who gave you the flashcards, right, yeah, for the Navy Seal, he gave you a gift. You gave him the gift of that vision of being an scuba instructor. You gave the gift of the socks and Kenya, right, you'll just that whole idea of giving to people, the pig, the pig to the chief, right? Ask yourself today, those who are listening, say what's one gift, it doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be
big. It can just be a kind word, it can just be giving some of your insight to say, ask yourself, What's a gift I can give to someone today?
You know, think about it. I wrote my wife a card. That's a gift. Yes. Flowers. That's a gift. Right? Those kinds of things are just small that small. You know, I'm saying, you know, taking a kid to get an IC. You know, saying hey, you come home as our day, Hey, give us my son's name. Hey, we want to do an IC. We're really Yeah, slowly, we'll go and take a look at an IC. Right? Today you brought home the dried candy, I thought it was a
beautiful gift. Because they're they're all they're all trying to do surgery. That's a gift. I think we I think we have to think about that more often. And so that would be a great, those are three great action steps. I just also would say to people, think strategically about your life, be conscious of what you're doing with it. You know, don't live acts by accident, live live intently. Right? Have some attention and intention. Right? To the way you want to be. And just try to do that a
little bit every day. It doesn't mean, you know, a mock trust me. I just tried to do those little things as much as I can when I could do I just say that we got to have more attention and and intention to our life.
And on a practical step, what's 1/3 something that maybe who has someone who hasn't been living strategically or intently? What's one little thing that they could do to move themselves closer to that?
Get cleaner about again, scheduling things or, you know, be be more more clear about how you're going to spend the time you have?
Right starting with one thing? Yes, this coming week?
Yeah, whatever it may be, whatever that one thing may be, I wouldn't make it crazy. I'd make it something that's important to you, or something that you get brings you joy, whatever that word is that you that motivates you to do it. I think that's the action step that you got to take with it. And what you're looking for is the little bitty successes. So that way, you can see that it's working, and you start to shift your thinking and then all sudden it becomes a part of who
you are. So that's those are things I would add to that kind of thing. But I agree with you
take action. So like if someone wants to get in touch with you, what's the best way to do that? LinkedIn, the website, you
can see me on LinkedIn, Dave Winford,
your David G went on LinkedIn. And we'll link to that in the show notes. Brother, friend. Thank you. You're very well thank you so much for this gift.
That I give you a hug. Yeah, no,
that's fine. That's fine. And you know, everyone listening, thank you for giving us and giving my friend David Winford the opportunity to share his story in your life. And don't just hear it. Do something about it. Go have a great week.
You've been listening to the Dave pincher Success project hosted by my dad, Dave Crenshaw, and produced by invaluable incorporated sound editing was done by my brother Stretton Crenshaw research and assistant production by Victoria Bidez. Voiceover by me, Darcy Crenshaw, and the music is by Ryan Brady via pond five licensing. Please subscribe to the Dave pincher Success Project on Google podcast, Apple podcast, or wherever you like to get your podcasts. And please don't forget to leave us a five
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